When Mr. Barmek heard from Bashoon about the rumor going around, he noticed that a few royals were swallowing the rumor. As Queen Dimorea, King Fordro, King Fornam and Queen Twundrii, and Queen Lurmir took a table in the restaurant, he overheard their conversation and approached them. \u201cExcuse me, my Lords and Ladies,\u201d he called, \u201cbut what\u2019s this I hear about everyone not betting on Drenii despite her impressive win record? You DO realize her feelings are a bit hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMr. Barmek, we understand that you wish to encourage diversity across ages,\u201d rumbled Dimorea, \u201cbut you must understand that she is not getting any younger.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBesides,\u201d supplied Fornam, \u201cyou, of all people, should see that betting on something or someone with the odds 100 to 1 against them would lead to ruin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c100 to 1?!\u201d yelped Mr. Barmek. \u201cSays who?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSays Tormo,\u201d explained Twundrii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c…Tormo,\u201d sighed Mr. Barmek.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDo you know him?\u201d asked Twundrii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMy wife\u2019s brother,\u201d replied Mr. Barmek. \u201cA ne\u2019er-do-well. My friends, DON\u2019T, I repeat, DON\u2019T take his bets! You\u2019re being swindled!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe facts are not in Drenii\u2019s favor,\u201d grunted Dimorea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh?\u201d quizzed Mr. Barmek. \u201cTell me, what\u2019s the supposed safe bet?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe odds are in favor of his mystery camel,\u201d explained Lurmir. \u201c4 to 1. Supposed to be the fastest camel around! You should get in on that!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo, what\u2019s the camel look like?\u201d asked Mr. Barmek.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPardon?\u201d quizzed Fordro.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI mean,\u201d elaborated Mr. Barmek, \u201cdid you see this camel with your own eyes before making a sizable bet?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOf course,\u201d replied Fordro. \u201cActually, no, wait, I didn\u2019t.\u201d He got a funny look after admitting that. \u201cCome on, someone must have.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t,\u201d revealed Twundrii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNor me,\u201d answered Fornam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDid you see it?\u201d asked Lurmir to Dimorea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou are the one who told me about it!\u201d reminded Dimorea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI thought so,\u201d remarked Mr. Barmek. \u201cSounds like you\u2019re being played for saps.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell SOMEONE must have seen that camel!\u201d thundered Dimorea as she slammed her fists onto the table. Just then, the door chimed, announcing a customer. It was Tormo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKorsak!\u201d he called to Mr. Barmek. \u201cMy dearest brother-in-law! I heard you were in the neighborhood and thought I\u2019d stop by!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cTormo, old friend, good to see you!\u201d replied Mr. Barmek. Tormo was still grinning, but his eyes only showed confusion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThis is new,\u201d he mused. \u201cUsually, you would hurl something at me and tell me to bugger off.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMe?\u201d quizzed Mr. Barmek. \u201cMy own brother-in-law? You\u2019re mistaken. I was just talking about you to these fine rulers and they want to see you.\u201d Tormo\u2019s grin vanished as he saw the aforementioned royals approach him with murderous intent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe want to see the mystery camel!\u201d boomed Dimorea as she cracked her knuckles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMy Lords and Ladies,\u201d begged Tormo, \u201cI can\u2019t do that! It\u2019ll spoil the mystery!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe\u2019re gonna spoil your head in a minute!\u201d roared Fornam as his teeth took a greenish tint, putting his venom glands into overdrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShow us the camel,\u201d threatened Lurmir, \u201cor we take back our bets and turn your booth into a pile of splinters!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOkay! Okay!\u201d agreed Tormo. \u201cBut I must warn you, the mystery camel is a dangerous beast! I have to make sure it\u2019s all safe! Give me until midday, then meet me by the abandoned barn near the Great Lake!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou have until midday,\u201d warned Dimorea. \u201cThis had better be one scary camel!\u201d Tormo gulped. He could feel his position deeply.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Irmalii was in a large tub that her wives filled with their own bodies. Relaxing in slime is said to be very therapeutic, especially if said slime has a core. Swamfur leaned her head on Irmalii\u2019s shoulder as Qwendo played with Irmalii\u2019s hair. Twelmak noticed Irmalii to be deep in thought. \u201cA Tin for your thoughts?\u201d she quizzed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ve been thinking about the cases that were supposed to be for local law enforcement,\u201d replied Irmalii. \u201cI just don\u2019t know how this all started. It\u2019s like Realmfleet\u2019s either taking those cases from us or we\u2019re too lazy. I don\u2019t know.\u201d Just then, someone knocked on the door. \u201cYes?\u201d called Irmalii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s Hanako,\u201d answered the person. \u201cMay I come in?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOne minute, Your Majesty!\u201d yelped Irmalii as everyone got out of the tub. Irmalii snapped her fingers, making her dress appear on her body quickly. \u201cCome in!\u201d she then called. Hanako then came in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI understand you\u2019ve been having some feelings towards Realmfleet?\u201d she quizzed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c…Arsha told you,\u201d guessed Irmalii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cArsha told me,\u201d confirmed Hanako. \u201cCaptain Ralmamp, I understand that you feel as if Realmfleet is muscling in on local law enforcement, an understandable concern, I assure you. Let me also assure you that there ARE some cases a bit much for normal law enforcement. Although, I must question you signing off a robbery as a Realmfleet case.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c…What?\u201d quizzed Irmalii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe robbery at Twenzek\u2019s,\u201d elaborated Hanako. \u201cThe watch-maker?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c…You mean the robbery 20 years ago?\u201d inquired Irmalii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo, the one that happened last night,\u201d replied Hanako, getting confused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c…Your Majesty, with respect, what in the Depths are you talking about?\u201d asked Irmalii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIrmalii, don\u2019t you remember?\u201d answered Hanako. \u201cYou signed the transferal form for Realmfleet to take care of a robbery at Twenzek\u2019s last night.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI never…WHAT?!\u201d yelped Irmalii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAre you doing a bit here?!\u201d quizzed Hanako. \u201cIrmalii, you transferred that case to Realmfleet!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo, I didn\u2019t!\u201d insisted Irmalii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI can prove it!\u201d declared Hanako. \u201cLet\u2019s go to me and Elgrad\u2019s cottage!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While that was going on, Malnar and Gorfanth were helping a Naga man out. He was engaged to a female Troll who wanted to be married in traditional Under-realm fashion. The whole thing is performed, yes, performed in a play that depicted how the first King and Queen of the Under-realm came to consummate their love. That was done after a massive fight where their enemies swarmed the castle and tried to kill everyone but failed once the King and Queen entered the fray. Malnar and the Naga, Kurdu, were practicing with magical constructs of the enemies that swarmed the castle and stormed the throne room. The two were using large swords to end their enemies\u2019 lives. Once the last soldier had fallen, Malnar turned and spoke in the Under-realm language. \u201cJeter toket ganki koldi damku galti rekek ganki bamte damku geotu danme gafta genla rekek ganki genla koldi kentakenta makormakor\u201d (What speaks your heart?!) she shouted to Kurdu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKirpa geotu toket rekek ganki genla koldi damku galti rekek ganki…ganki…bamte damku kirpa g…geotu g…g…galti genla lakun makor rekek makormakor\u201d (My heart speaks my pride!) stumbled Kurdu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMakor danme rekek damku geotu danme gafta genla galti genla lakun makor rekek damku galti rekek ganki bamte toket danme aenzi danme genla kentakenta makormakor\u201d (Does your pride speak honor?!) roared Malnar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cZ…z…zempu rekek koldi kirpa rekek damku…damku toket d…d…danme jeter…\u201d (Let me show…) fumbled Kurdu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cStop!\u201d called Gorfanth. Kurdu sighed in relief as Malnar rolled her eyes. \u201cKurdu, you say the King\u2019s words, but don\u2019t give them feeling! You don\u2019t give them any PASSION!\u201d admonished Gorfanth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHaving to learn the Under-realm\u2019s language isn\u2019t helping my performance!\u201d argued Kurdu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDon\u2019t think of this as a performance!\u201d urged Gorfanth. \u201cPut yourself into the King\u2019s head! Imagine yourself in the castle, long before the Realms even thought about the Realmgates! There you are, at the dawn of the Under-realm\u2019s dominion! Countless soldiers stormed the castle with intent to kill the King and Queen! The Royal Guard fled, leaving the King and Queen to defend themselves with whatever could pass for a sword! It was in the castle that they committed themselves to the greatest romance in Under-realm history!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cZeme remi lepu retu lepu retu nopo lepu foro lepu feni lesi saka zapi lesi retu endeende \u201d (This is ridiculous!) hissed Kurdu in the Mid-realm language. \u201cMy tail is soaked in blood, the floor is littered with corpses, death\u2019s stench is permeating throughout this place, and you want me to feel ROMANTIC?! Why am I putting myself through this?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBecause, later that night,\u201d answered Malnar, \u201clike a pair of cats in heat, the King and Queen leapt on each other and stripped one another, making love right there in the throne room! Nowadays, that part is left for the honeymoon, but battle STILL gets that drive going.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt does, huh?\u201d mused Kurdu. \u201c…Once more.\u201d Just then, Arsha came in. Malnar stifled a giggle as she found Arsha\u2019s current hairstyle funny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMalnar,\u201d called Arsha, \u201cdid you talk to your dad lately about Captain Jensho?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe Under-realm\u2019s Royal Guard Captain?\u201d quizzed Malnar. \u201cNo, why?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBecause Rokalla\u2019s informed me that normal law enforcement has a rash of laziness, passing on their cases to Realmfleet, even the small time ones!\u201d replied Arsha. \u201cI think Orbak would rest easier if he knew his Royal Guard isn\u2019t lazy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes, he DOES tend to prefer to use Realmfleet as a last resort, like the Falgreth Affair,\u201d mused Malnar. \u201cExcuse me.\u201d She departed from the group to contact her father.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cExcuse me as well,\u201d bid Arsha as she left Gorfanth and Kurdu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Meanwhile, around midday, at the old barn near the Great Lake, the source of life for the Oasis, Tormo had gathered the doubting royals. \u201cOkay, we are here,\u201d grunted Dimorea. \u201cLet us see the camel.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNow!\u201d barked Lurmir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSSHHH!\u201d hissed Tormo. \u201cKeep it down! I don\u2019t want to keep reminding you that the camel is dangerous! The slightest noise will set it off and I can\u2019t be responsible for what happens! Now, we\u2019re just gonna tip-toe, peek through the cracks, and…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cQUIT STALLING!\u201d roared Twundrii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll make all the noise we want!\u201d shouted Fornam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m warning you,\u201d hissed Tormo, \u201ckeep it down or you\u2019ll…!\u201d He didn\u2019t get very far as angry camel noises erupted from the barn! Other noises, like abandoned tools crashing on the walls, shook the barn as if it were alive!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBY THE HEIGHTS!\u201d yelped Lurmir. \u201cIT\u2019S GONNA KICK DOWN THE BARN!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey, Tormo,\u201d gulped Dimorea, \u201cdo you have that crazy camel secure in there?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShe must have broken loose,\u201d remarked Tormo. \u201cWell, my Lords and Ladies, want to sneak a peek?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMaybe we shouldn\u2019t upset the camel any further before this weekend\u2019s race,\u201d gulped Fordo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDo you want to see it?\u201d asked Lurmir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo,\u201d replied Dimorea. \u201cI have seen enough!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMe too,\u201d muttered Twundrii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe believe you,\u201d Fornam declared to Tormo. \u201cCome on, you guys, we better go.\u201d The royals departed, leaving Tormo alone. The noise in the barn had died down, so he approached it and knocked. A male Camel Anthro poked his head out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow did it go?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSmooth as Drider silk,\u201d reported Tormo with a grin. \u201cNice job on the noise, Tensur.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, I DO have a temper,\u201d replied the Anthro, Tensur. \u201cMight as well put it to good use.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAll right, let\u2019s review the plan,\u201d declared Tormo. \u201cStart off strong at the beginning.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRight, she needs a run for her money,\u201d agreed Tensur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBut, once you\u2019re in the high dunes, let her pass you,\u201d continued Tormo. \u201cRemember, our organization needs Drenii to win.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThen our organization gets all the goodies that were bet on me, the mystery camel!\u201d declared Tensur. \u201cMan, Dr. Borg will be pleased!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After the law enforcement laziness scandal was revealed to have permeated throughout the Realms, the royals were NOT happy. All law enforcement agencies were guilty in some measure, so a new stipulation was made. From now on, all cases would go to the Royal Guard Captains of the Over, Mid, and Under-realm royal families to be triple-checked for any forgeries and their decision would be final on whether or not a case would be escalated to Realmfleet. Rokalla announced Realmfleet\u2019s unanimous support of that decision, since the minor cases they had received in the past had distracted them from more important duties, such as ending the scourge all Splitter Branches represent. After the meeting had adjourned, Irmalii sat in a shady spot to think. Arsha approached her. \u201cAre you okay?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cTo be frank, I\u2019m still disgusted that law enforcement was that lazy,\u201d replied Irmalii. \u201cI\u2019m also angry at myself for thinking Realmfleet was muscling in on our territory when it wasn\u2019t Realmfleet\u2019s fault.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe were all duped,\u201d muttered Arsha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c…Yeah, we were,\u201d sighed Irmalii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c…Wanna go shop around the booths?\u201d suggested Arsha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c…Yeah,\u201d replied Irmalii. \u201cZwelmam has a few dress ideas and could use some fabric and dye.\u201d They got up and headed to the booths. As they browsed, Bashoon came up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCaptain, permission to make a crazy bet concerning the mystery camel?\u201d she requested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFor what reason, Ensign?\u201d asked Arsha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI saw the outline of my uncle in the old barn by the Great Lake,\u201d explained Bashoon, \u201cand he was talking to a Camel Anthro. I believe he\u2019s got some scheme involving swindling people and I would like to make my bet the last possible bet to disrupt his scheme.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow crazy are we talking?\u201d inquired Arsha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c…The ship,\u201d mumbled Bashoon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSpeak up, Ensign Barmek,\u201d ordered Arsha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe ship,\u201d repeated Bashoon in a clearer voice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c…Are you talking about the Endeavor<\/em>?!\u201d yelped Arsha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCaptain, I understand this is unorthodox,\u201d interjected Bashoon, confirming Arsha\u2019s suspicions, \u201cbut I know my uncle. If one makes a crazy bet at the last possible minute against who or what he says is a safe bet, he\u2019ll panic and do something to ruin himself.\u201d Arsha considered her next actions. \u201cThe crew IS willing to go along with it,\u201d continued Bashoon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When Mr. Barmek heard from Bashoon about the rumor going around, he noticed that a few royals were swallowing the rumor. As Queen Dimorea, King Fordro, King Fornam and Queen Twundrii, and Queen Lurmir took a table in the restaurant, he overheard their conversation and approached them. \u201cExcuse me, my Lords and Ladies,\u201d he called, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1917,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[97,94],"tags":[482],"class_list":["post-2054","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-three-realms","category-the-three-realms-book-1-her-highness-the-captain","tag-fantasy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2054","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2054"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2054\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2055,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2054\/revisions\/2055"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1917"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2054"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2054"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2054"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}