\u201cThat was\u2026quite an adventure you had!\u201d I breathed. Tanisha curtsied as we clapped. \u201cI think you left out where you got the studs, though.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, Wheatley had accidentally snagged them when he was looking around GLaDOS\u2019 gateway room,\u201d explained Tanisha. \u201cI took them when we were in the rift.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAll right, my friends, I think we\u2019ve had a long day,\u201d I sighed. \u201cNow, why don\u2019t we\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDid you know that the mitochondria is your powerhouse? Wait, you\u2019re not Cell!\u201d I instinctively punched the guy that said that and he crashed into the wall. He slid down as if he was dead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDid\u2026I just\u2026manslaughter\u2026Spider-Man?\u201d I asked .<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cReally?\u201d sighed Emily. \u201cGonna make THAT mistake?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAt least SOMEONE knows me!\u201d muttered the guy I punched.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWait, how did you\u2026?\u201d I asked, unsure of how he survived that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMutant, friendo!\u201d laughed the guy. He jumped to his feet so I could see the number of pouches on his red and black suit. \u201cWell, Mutate, really, but, whatevs!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWade, how did you find us?!\u201d sighed Emily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMy magic unicorn!\u201d snarked the guy. \u201cAnyway, INTRODUCTIONS! I\u2019m your Deadly Neighborhood Deadpool! It rhymes with No School! Too Cool! Ain\u2019t no Fool and I\u2019m acting like my incarnation in the Ultimate Spider-Man<\/em> TV series. Damn it!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNot a breaker!\u201d wailed X-PO.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cA what?\u201d asked Emmanuel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThere\u2019s a dividing force out in the multiverse,\u201d explained Vortoranii. \u201cA force that divides us from other null dimensions, where nothing exciting happens in the way you\u2019re used to. That force is called the Fourth Wall, and some idiots in the multiverse love to turn it into powder! Hence, breakers!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat can I say?\u201d chuckled Deadpool. \u201cShe-Honk and I do it a lot!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShe-HULK, you mean,\u201d corrected Richard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDon\u2019t feed him!\u201d wailed Emily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShe\u2019s big, green, makes noise,\u201d argued Deadpool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd has the authority to sue your cancer-ridden rear,\u201d countered Richard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cA case like that can drag on for years,\u201d dismissed Deadpool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo, wait, are you some guy who randomly spouts nonsense?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAmong other things,\u201d supplied Emily. \u201cHe\u2019s called the Merc With a Mouth.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMerc?\u201d I repeated \u201cAs in, mercenary?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYepperoni!\u201d confirmed Deadpool. \u201cAnd, right now, some Asian dude contracted me to assassinate your skirt wearing ass!\u201d He pointed to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIgnoring the fact that you can’t tell the Japanese apart from the rest of Asia, the thought of Hiro stooping that low never really crossed my mind,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYeah, well, the pic he gave me looks nothing like you.\u201d Deadpool held up a picture of Sailor Moon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, absolutely not!\u201d I confirmed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAh well!\u201d giggled Deadpool as he tossed the picture aside. \u201cEnough making the Toku Fandom mad. I\u2019m gonna murderlize you real good with Black Betty and Vera!\u201d He pulled out his guns. \u201cMaybe this stupid retelling of Lego Dimensions<\/em> will get somewhere with me around!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGuns?\u201d I asked. \u201cBuddy, your employer can tell you how poorly that\u2019s gonna work out for why is there a breeze through my shoulder?\u201d Deadpool\u2019s left gun was smoking. \u201cI stand corrected,\u201d I mused, \u201calso perforated. Also, AAARRRGGH!\u201d I clutched my shoulder in pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd the blades here are Adamantium, baby!\u201d cheered Deadpool. The twin katanas he had ended up in talk show chairs. \u201cMeet Wanda and Selene! Who I named after my cats, that I had to put down with these swords.\u201d He got up close and whispered in our ears as Emily got the bullet out. \u201cAlso, they weren\u2019t cats, but feral tortoises!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHenshin!\u201d called Emmanuel. He turned into Arch and fired off an energy arrow into Deadpool\u2019s head. \u201cUn, Deux, Trois, Quatre\u2026\u201d he counted before Deadpool came back up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOkay, the swords aren\u2019t Adamantium,\u201d he conceded. \u201cThey\u2019re Carbonadium.\u201d Arch shot him again. He hummed the French National Anthem for a bit before Deadpool popped up again. \u201cDAMMIT!\u201d he snapped, getting a little mad. \u201cListen, you rifle-dropping\u2026!\u201d Arch shot him again before he could get any further with that one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMon Dieu,\u201d muttered Arch, \u201cand you told me he was Canadian, oui Emily?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI know, nowhere near as polite,\u201d agreed Emily as she patched up my shoulder. \u201cGo easy on it, all right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAll right, that\u2019s F***IN IT!\u201d roared Deadpool as he drew his swords. \u201cEvery time you idiots do this to me; you make me lose a bit of my memory! While I\u2019m more than happy to say bye-bye to Uncle Vance and his camping trip from Hell, I can\u2019t risk losing the time I got lucky at band school! So, sit still and let me dice you up!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHenshin,\u201d called Emily. As she turned into Touch\u00e9, her foil blocked his swords. \u201cListen, Wadey, can I call you Wadey?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou can call me whatever you want while I carve you like a goddamn ham!\u201d threatened Deadpool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201c3,706,\u201d counted Touch\u00e9, remembering all the pig jokes she heard in her life. \u201cWadey, I get what your shtick is.\u201d She knocked his swords out of his hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAH! MY TIPS!\u201d he yelped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOne of us does something to you that would kill a normal person,\u201d continued Touch\u00e9, \u201cyou DON\u2019T die, you crack a joke that offends someone, we do it again, rinse and repeat! You\u2019ve lost your luster, dude. So, take your swords, your guns, your Fourth Wall breaking, and go back to your native universe.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEh, sorry,\u201d mused Deadpool, \u201cbut, a job\u2019s a job\u2019s a job! And I\u2019m getting paid big time to kill your boss. So, step aside and let this be the easiest 10,000,000,000,000 bucks I\u2019ve ever made!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou mean studs, right?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEr, no, I meant bucks,\u201d countered Deadpool. \u201cAnd not the male venison!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDeadpool, neither side uses American Dollars,\u201d remarked Joshua.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat else is there?\u201d asked Deadpool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCan whoever\u2019s watching or writing this explain to Deadpool what\u2019s going on?\u201d Touch\u00e9 asked the heavens as she changed back. A laptop came up from a pedestal in the floor. Deadpool went to DeviantArt, typed in a username, and found the story the artist made. He stopped at a certain point and developed a nasty twitch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cStuds?\u201d he hissed. \u201cThey were gonna pay me\u2026in STUDS?! THAT\u2019S NOT LEGAL TENDER WHERE I\u2019M FROM!! IT\u2019S NOT EVEN ILLEGAL TENDER!! AND THEY WERE GONNA CONVERT ME INTO ONE OF THEIR CYBORGS INSTEAD OF GIVING ME CHIMICHANGAS?! Okay, deep breath\u2026\u201d he inhaled, then exhaled. We waited a few seconds. \u201cCongratulations!\u201d cheered Deadpool. \u201cYou\u2019ve just convinced me to break contract and fight Lord Vortech with you guys!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat do you want in return?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou ARE a smart one, this ISN\u2019T a freebie!\u201d replied Deadpool. \u201cI want the 10 trillion and chimichangas they promised me!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow many chimichangas?\u201d asked Emily. \u201cI think the replicators can make the desired amount.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cA butt-load!\u201d answered Deadpool. Emily checked the options and saw that there was, indeed, a butt-load option. She selected it and out came the promised amount.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAs for the money,\u201d called X-PO, \u201chow would exclusive rights to the money dimension work out for you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThere\u2019s a money dimension?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re lying,\u201d muttered Deadpool. X-PO opened a rift and Deadpool stuck his head through. After a few seconds where his arms went limp, he pulled out, his eyes wider than an insect\u2019s. \u201cI could retire on just .01% of that!\u201d he breathed. \u201cTake a look!\u201d We all poked our heads through and\u2026Deadpool wasn\u2019t wrong! Stacks of cash, gold, and jewels as far as the eye can see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSmaug wouldn\u2019t have needed Erebor\u2019s gold!\u201d I exclaimed. I turned to Deadpool. \u201cWell? Will that settle our debt?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cImmensely!\u201d confirmed Deadpool. \u201cIn fact, Your Highness, you\u2019re the first person to have me on retainer!\u201d A card printed out of the gateway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cJust tap the little blue circle and Dimension 1-N-F-1-N-1-T-3-C-4-5-H is yours,\u201d explained X-PO.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSpeaking of dimensions, I gotta get back,\u201d announced Deadpool. \u201cGotta sharpen my weapons, reload, add a few pouches to the suit\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou really ARE a Liefeld creation, aren\u2019t you?\u201d muttered Emily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHey, at least my current artists can draw my feet!\u201d snapped Deadpool. A portal opened up. \u201cAnd that\u2019s my ride. Smell you later!\u201d Deadpool, mercifully, went through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOkay,\u201d I muttered, \u201cany MORE crazies we should deal with, or can we retire to our rooms?\u201d Nothing happened. \u201cLet\u2019s get some rest then.\u201d Everyone dispersed. \u201cHiroki Nee-san,\u201d I said, \u201cwould you walk with me for a sec?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOf course,\u201d replied Hiroki. We walked around, away from prying eyes. It was then I decided to speak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSending Tanisha to the Portal<\/em> universe without backup? What the heck?!\u201d I snapped. Hiroki tensed up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMegumi,\u201d he countered, \u201cwith all due respect, we were pressed for time. On top of that, Tonje\u2019s not a gamer.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019M not a gamer,\u201d I reminded him, \u201cand I survived that universe. Know why? Because I had the necessary backup. Tanisha would have guided Tonje through that universe just fine. If anything, it would have been easier on Tanisha so someone could have kept Igura off her back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut, would explaining things not have slowed them down?\u201d asked Hiroki. \u201cThat universe IS enemy territory.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat we have frustrated once before,\u201d I reminded. \u201cThere would have been plenty of time for Tanisha to explain things to Tonje. I cannot have people underestimate one another. It\u2019s because of having experts on certain universes that we survived thus far and it will continue to serve us all well. I don\u2019t recall you raising any objections to me going to an unknown universe. Have I got that wrong and I didn\u2019t hear your numerous objections?\u201d That hit him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2026raised no such things,\u201d he mumbled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThen I would advise you to extend that courtesy to the others, all right?\u201d I directed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, Sister,\u201d he muttered. He left to his quarters without another word. The loneliness of command, gotta love it, huh?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLord Vortech, get me out of here!\u201d wailed the potato battery I brought with me when I returned. In it was GLaDOS\u2019 main neural processor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cConsidering your failure to destroy a Vortex Rider and the fact that you lost the rift technology Hiro left you,\u201d snarled Vortech, \u201cI see no reason to do so. You shall serve as a constant reminder to those that would dare fail me, Igura and Hiro, chiefly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cExcuse me?\u201d I protested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou allowed yourself to be defeated by a child!\u201d growled Vortech. \u201cYour excursion into J-U-R-4-5-5-1-C-P-4-R-K had better not end in failure!\u201d I gulped, realizing Vortech\u2019s not in the mood for excuses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, Lord Vortech,\u201d I mumbled.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cThat was\u2026quite an adventure you had!\u201d I breathed. Tanisha curtsied as we clapped. \u201cI think you left out where you got the studs, though.\u201d \u201cOh, Wheatley had accidentally snagged them when he was looking around GLaDOS\u2019 gateway room,\u201d explained Tanisha. \u201cI took them when we were in the rift.\u201d \u201cAll right, my friends, I think […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":146,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[96,8],"tags":[113,112,13,111,46,9,28,12,84,83],"class_list":["post-210","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kamen-rider-vortex","category-kamen-rider-vortex-chapters","tag-4th-breaking","tag-deadpool","tag-hiro-adachi","tag-hiroki-hishikawa","tag-igura","tag-kamen-rider","tag-lord-vortech","tag-megumi-hishikawa","tag-tanisha-akintola","tag-x-po"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/210","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=210"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/210\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1090,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/210\/revisions\/1090"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/146"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=210"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=210"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=210"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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