Another dark day, another dark deed in the country of Darkland. The Koopas continued their drills as if it were any other day. However, after their master had returned from his recent adventure, they went through a period of non-aggression against the Mushroom Kingdom. They were feeling a little\u2026speculative about their master. As they offered multiple theories, their master, the king of Darkland himself, Bowser Koopa, slept. At least, he slept until the alarm clock rang its annoying chime. Bowser punched it off the nightstand and grumbled as he turned in bed. He then sat up and got out of bed, getting a shell out of the closet and climbing into it. He then did his stretches and retreated into his shell and popped out multiple times. After that, he just stood in the middle of the room, groaning to himself. He then stomped to the dining hall and sat at his usual place while his son, Junior, sat next to him. \u201cMorning, Papa!\u201d he called. Bowser just grunted. \u201cEr\u2026Papa?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMorning, Junior,\u201d rumbled Bowser.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDidn\u2019t you sleep at all last night?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI slept fine, kiddo, just waking up a little slow today.\u201d Breakfast was served and they ate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou know, Papa, me and the Koopalings are almost done with our project! You should see it this afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYeah, sure, I\u2019ll just come to the lab when it\u2019s done.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026Papa, this isn\u2019t about what happened at Lake Lapcat, is it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNah, it ain\u2019t that. Your old man\u2019s just got a lot on his mind, that\u2019s all.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll get it all settled! You\u2019re just that awesome, Papa.\u201d Bowser smirked at his son\u2019s enthusiasm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThanks, Junior.\u201d They finished breakfast and Bowser headed to the throne room. Kamek was standing next to the throne as Bowser sat down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYour Surliness,\u201d he began, \u201cour first order of the day is that the Cult of Bowser has come to offer tribute! They\u2019re waiting outside the throne room right now!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShow them in,\u201d ordered Bowser. The \u201ccult\u201d left a lot to be desired in terms of appearance\u2026and hygiene. Bowser and Kamek developed a twitch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, Great Bowser Koopa, Lord of Darkland,\u201d praised the cult leader, \u201cyou have allowed us to live under your watchful gaze and for that, we are forever grateful!\u201d The smell ran rampant inside Bowser\u2019s nose. \u201cWe offer you a special tribute in\u2026!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSTOP!\u201d roared Bowser. \u201cJust\u2026just look at what you\u2019re doing! You\u2019re getting your filth all over the floor! Haven\u2019t you guys ever heard of showers?!\u201d The cult leader was taken aback, as if the concept of cleanliness was foreign to him. \u201cI just had the throne room cleaned last night! Out! OUT! GET OOOOUUUT!\u201d The cult quickly left, taking their smell with them. The cleaning staff immediately got to work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t even see their tribute,\u201d observed Kamek, \u201cnot that getting rid of them wasn\u2019t a wise decision.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhatever it was, it was probably made of dung anyways,\u201d rumbled Bowser.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026Fair point, Master.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After hearing the cases of the day, Bowser headed to the Koopalings\u2019 lab and found them and his son standing by a machine. \u201cBowser, we did it!\u201d cheered Ludwig Von Koopa. \u201cMay I introduce the most epic version of Princess Kidnapping Machinery to date!\u201d The cover came off of a giant Mecha shaped like Mario. \u201cProgrammed with all of Mario\u2019s skills, it will finally flatten that plumber as we take Peach!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd I care because?\u201d asked Bowser. Junior and the Koopalings goggled at the Koopa King.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026B-because it would finally give you what you want?\u201d urged Junior. \u201cYou know? Having Mama Peach as your queen and ending Mario\u2019s game permanently?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, that was the OLD Bowser. This is a NEW Bowser, and he doesn\u2019t really care about a mustachioed, fat, pasta-loving plumber or his hot, royal, pink-wearing, blonde girlfriend. It\u2019s hilarious, really. Look, I tell you kids what, you want to kidnap Peach and destroy Mario? Go ahead. Who cares? I certainly don\u2019t. Not one bit at all.\u201d Bowser left the lab, leaving the Koopalings very confused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026Papa,\u201d sighed Junior in sympathy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bowser made his way in the office of a psychiatrist, the famous Dr. F. Roid, an old Koopa with glasses and a beard. \u201cSo, Lord Bowser,\u201d began Dr. Roid as Bowser laid down on the couch, \u201ctell me what\u2019s been bothering you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, you see, it\u2019s like this, Doc,\u201d answered Bowser, \u201cit\u2019s been about 35 years since I first met my nemesis.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s been that long, My Lord?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYeah. You see; that\u2019s the actual problem. Once he began stopping me frequently, I thought that he\u2019d get older and then Mario\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe don\u2019t say his name here. This is a safe place.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cR-right. Sorry, Doctor. Well, I just assumed, after all those power-ups over the years, he would get a permanent game over! \u2026But he hasn\u2019t even aged, I mean, like, at ALL! He and his green brother just keep jumping around as if they were kids, it looks like he\u2019s going to get between me and Peach FOREVER! I\u2026I just don\u2019t know if I can handle that!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes, it seems his arrival in this world has affected his natural aging process. It\u2019s quite the conundrum.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYeah, exactly! \u2026What\u2019s a\u2026connonumdum?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cConundrum, it\u2019s a fancy word for a highly difficult problem.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThanks, Doc. I just wish there were someone to help me get rid of my problem.\u201d Someone then pounded on Dr. Roid\u2019s door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYour Depressedness!\u201d called Kamek. \u201cYou have a visitor demanding an audience!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGo away!\u201d replied Bowser. \u201cDidn\u2019t you get the memo?! I\u2019m busy with therapy right now! Leave us alone!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBut, Master, it\u2019s Ganondorf and\u2026!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGanondorf?! What\u2019s he doing here?!\u201d Bowser then stormed out of the office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWAIT! WE\u2019RE NOT FINISHED YET!\u201d wailed Dr. Roid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSend me the bill!\u201d replied Bowser as he made his way to the throne room. He found Ganondorf Dragmire sitting lazily on the throne. \u201cHEY! THAT\u2019S MY THRONE!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd I was hoping for something along the lines of \u2018Welcome back, Ganondorf, old friend.\u2019,\u201d snarked Ganondorf.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe\u2019re NOT friends, especially after the Subspace incident!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou wound me, Koopa. In any event, this isn\u2019t a social call. I\u2019ve been in contact with someone who may\u2026help us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIf it\u2019s Tabuu again, you work with him yourself!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo! No, no, no, it\u2019s someone from your world. I believe he once attacked Sarasaland.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat, the runt, Tatanga? What does he want?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHe\u2019s found something about\u2026Elemental Princesses that hold ultimate power to conquer the universe as we know it.\u201d Bowser\u2019s eyes went wide as the temptation became clear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026You have my attention!\u201d An evil grin then appeared on the Koopa King\u2019s face, a grin he had not experienced in some time!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Another dark day, another dark deed in the country of Darkland. The Koopas continued their drills as if it were any other day. However, after their master had returned from his recent adventure, they went through a period of non-aggression against the Mushroom Kingdom. They were feeling a little\u2026speculative about their master. As they offered […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2901,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[463,576],"tags":[637,638],"class_list":["post-3218","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-standalones","category-super-mario-heroes","tag-bowser","tag-ganondorf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3218","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3218"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3218\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3219,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3218\/revisions\/3219"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2901"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3218"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3218"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3218"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}