{"id":5189,"date":"2021-12-03T10:38:09","date_gmt":"2021-12-03T15:38:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/?p=5189"},"modified":"2021-12-03T10:38:09","modified_gmt":"2021-12-03T15:38:09","slug":"3-realms-5-14","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/3-realms-5-14\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Realms 5-14"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Back in the Endeavor<\/em>\u2019s brig, Markulak was going through a small recharge cycle and, because he was a good prisoner, he was allowed to watch some entertainment. He was watching a Three Maidens<\/em> short where the Three Maidens had climbed aboard an enemy ship and had to disguise themselves as Imperial crew members. It was near the end of the short as the Captain of the vessel was berating his men. \u201cSuch Officers!\u201d he shouted. \u201cWhat would the Doctor say if she heard about this?! Three Realmfleeters making fools of a whole shipload of Imperial forces!\u201d Just then, the \u201cDoctor\u201d and two of her \u201cTop Specialists\u201d came in. One of them was carrying a case that advertised her as the Minister of Propaganda, Specialist in Lies and Bunk. The Captain and his Officers saw them and swallowed the disguise as they saluted her. The \u201cDoctor\u201d spoke in agitated mock Fae. She then spoke in the combined Realm language.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou failed to catch three Realmfleeters!\u201d she barked. \u201cBlow out your brains!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut, my Lady Doctor, we\u2019re part of the Empire!\u201d replied the Captain. \u201cWe have no brains!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen blow out what passes for your brains!\u201d continued the \u201cDoctor.\u201d \u201cWhen my Field Marshal counts three,\u201d she pointed to the large woman in a decorated Officer\u2019s outfit, \u201cstart blowing out your heads!\u201d The Officers saluted and drew their wands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOne!\u201d barked the \u201cField Marshal.\u201d She then turned to the \u201cDoctor.\u201d \u2018What comes after one?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTwo!\u201d the \u201cDoctor\u201d spit in the \u201cField Marshal\u2019s\u201d eye as she said it. \u201cNever mind, fat girl! I\u2019ll count myself! One!\u201d The Officers then raised their wands again. \u201cTwo!\u201d The Officers pointed their wands at their heads. \u201cTh\u2026Th\u2026Threeah! Ah! AH! ACHOO!\u201d As the \u201cDoctor\u201d sneezed, the white mophead that served as the wig flew off, revealing her real hair to be black and long!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy Doctor!\u201d yelped the Captain as he handed her the wig back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAh, my personality,\u201d said the fake Doctor. \u201cThanks, Bub.\u201d The Captain then realized that the three women WEREN\u2019T the Doctor and her specialists, but Moru, Larima, and Curlandii! The Three Maidens then realized the jig was up! They yelped in terror and fled the Captain\u2019s Ready Room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGET THEM!\u201d shouted the Captain. The Three Maidens led them on a merry chase around the ship. They made it to the ship\u2019s exterior and held the door closed. Moru then spotted oil and coated a path from the door in it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay, let them out!\u201d she told her friends. They opened the door and the Captain and his Officers slipped on the oil, sliding down the ship. They landed in the mud below and caused a big enough splash to hit the Three Maidens. \u201cWhy, you\u2026Trippy Trinnies!\u201d She threw the oil container on their heads, knocking them out. \u201cSUCCESS!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSUCCESS!\u201d agreed Larima.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPARTY TIME!\u201d cheered Curlandii. She then kissed Moru on the lips. Moru gagged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI told you to stop that!\u201d Moru then poked Curlandii\u2019s eyes. When the end credits rolled, Markulak was laughing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMan, if Imperial forces were as incompetent as you guys say,\u201d he said to the guard, \u201cwe\u2019d deserve to have three idiots make fools of us!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m surprised you\u2019re laughing at it,\u201d remarked the guard. \u201cWith all the insults thrown around, I figured you\u2019d be offended.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s something to boost morale,\u201d replied Markulak. \u201cThe Empire\u2019s got similar media.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo, you\u2019re not taking it seriously?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShould I take comedy that seriously?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2026I\u2019ll leave that up to you. \u2026Hey, are you aware of Skain taking over the Mid-realm?\u201d Markulak\u2019s eyes flickered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNews to me. The Empire wants nothing to do with that asshole.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve got Black people as equals.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAh.\u201d Arsha then entered the brig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMay I help you?\u201d asked Markulak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI have a test for you to prove yourself,\u201d replied Arsha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat would this test entail?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHelp my dad knock a pretender off the throne.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWithout delay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood. Now, what can you tell me about the Imperial robot forces stationed in Largandra?\u201d Markulak\u2019s optics flickered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTo my knowledge, there aren\u2019t any.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIntelligence reports say otherwise.\u201d She nodded to the guard. He lowered the energy bars and Arsha handed Markulak a tablet. Markulak looked at the intelligence reports and his optics became brighter when they rested on an image.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe\u2019s gonna try and contact you!\u201d he gulped as he pointed to the robot in the image.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll scramble it,\u201d assured Arsha. Just then, the comms rang.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBridge to Captain! Enemy forces trying to force a call through!\u201d reported Shalvey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cScramble it,\u201d ordered Arsha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m trying, but they\u2019re descrambling faster than I can-!\u201d Shalvey\u2019s call was cut off as an image appeared on the guard\u2019s console. It was Markulak: Model 8!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCaptain Royana,\u201d purred the robot. \u201cIt\u2019s an honor to meet you.\u201d Arsha motioned for Markulak: Model 7 to join in the call. \u201cAh, there he is!\u201d growled Markulak: Model 8.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m aware that certain robot lines are practically clones of the previous one,\u201d remarked Arsha, \u201cbut I\u2019m not sure the Realms are ready for TWO Markulaks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI quite agree,\u201d said Model 8.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo, you\u2019re my successor,\u201d grunted Model 7.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOnce I kill you, yes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not gonna happen!\u201d snarled Arsha. \u201cModel 7 has been an excellent ally to me!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd what a dreary day that was for the Empire!\u201d growled Model 8. \u201cModel 7 disgraced Markulak: Model 6 the day he defected to you! Model 6 was a great man, a real patriot! His death in a ship explosion was most unfortunate.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd still under investigation!\u201d reminded Model 7.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cActually, the investigation\u2019s over,\u201d corrected Model 8. \u201cThere was no evidence of foul play, merely poor maintenance.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo, why were you activated if your predecessor\u2019s still alive?\u201d Arsha asked Model 8.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOrdinarily, I wouldn\u2019t have been,\u201d replied the robot, \u201cbut when a duplicated robot\u2019s discovered to have a defect in their duplicate line-\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m not defective!\u201d argued Model 7.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course, you are!\u201d countered Model 8. \u201cHow else can you explain your behavior? Leaving your post! Defecting to Realmfleet!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat next, you\u2019re gonna order him to trigger his payload?\u201d asked Arsha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2026I was getting to that,\u201d replied Model 8.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat payload?\u201d asked Model 7.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDon\u2019t play coy with your better! You know exactly what I\u2019m talking about! Your Detonium payload! Prove your loyalty to the Empire! Activate your self-destruct!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI would, but there\u2019s a small problem.\u201d Model 7 then showed his exposed left knee to the screen. \u201cRealmfleet was a little\u2026heavy-handed when it came to disarming me. I\u2019m afraid they allowed oxygen to enter my insides and oxidize the Detonium to uselessness.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2026That\u2019s why she made that comment!\u201d realized Model 8. \u201cYou told her! You\u2019re a dead man, whether you kill yourself or not! Dr. Borg doesn\u2019t tolerate traitors and I don\u2019t tolerate disgraces to our line!\u201d He then addressed Arsha. \u201cCaptain, there\u2019s really no need for you to be involved in this petty dispute. If you would just convince him to return to us-\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI have no intention of releasing my prisoner to you!\u201d snarled Arsha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you don\u2019t, I can\u2019t be held responsible for the consequences.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAn empty threat! Your predecessor told me about the Markulak line\u2019s talents in intelligence gathering! You wouldn\u2019t dare lose a chance to get all the information you can from us!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMaybe I wouldn\u2019t, but the forces surrounding Largandra would. Think it over, Captain. Your home is about to kill itself and it would be easier on your conscience if they died by their own hands.\u201d The call ended, giving Arsha and Markulak a very nasty suspicion of why robots were surrounding Largandra.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Back in the Endeavor\u2019s brig, Markulak was going through a small recharge cycle and, because he was a good prisoner, he was allowed to watch some entertainment. He was watching a Three Maidens short where the Three Maidens had climbed aboard an enemy ship and had to disguise themselves as Imperial crew members. It was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5170,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[97,238],"tags":[482],"class_list":["post-5189","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-three-realms","category-the-three-realms-book-5-the-final-fight","tag-fantasy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5189","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5189"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5189\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5190,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5189\/revisions\/5190"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5170"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5189"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5189"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5189"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}