\u201cNow, Sho\u2019s dance was over,\u201d said Moru. \u201cI stuck my head in the office door and I saw Milnaf and Dingbat arguing over by the wyvern cage.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat were they arguing about?\u201d asked the prosecutor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d replied Moru, \u201cbut Dingbat was sizzling like a hot hamburger! He grabs Milnaf by the neck like that!\u201d She grabbed Curlandii\u2019s neck! \u201cThen he drags her over to the paper press, see?\u201d She dragged her to a paper press on the table. \u201cThen he smacks her on the head like that!\u201d Moru hit Curlandii on the head with a hammer. \u201cThen he pokes her coconut into the paper press like that, see?\u201d She stuck Curlandii\u2019s head into the press and grabbed the wheel on top. \u201cThen he says \u2018I\u2019ll squeeze the cider out of your Alalar\u2019s Apple!\u2019 Then he gives her the works like this!\u201d She twisted the wheel and the press went down on Curlandii\u2019s head. \u201cAnd he keeps turning and twisting!\u201d She then stopped. \u201cAnd that, Lords and Ladies, is-\u201d The press then rose so sharply that the wheel spun rapidly, then flew off its post and landed on Moru\u2019s head. Curlandii managed to get out and indicated that she needed her jaws to work again. Moru smacked her jaw and she regained control of her mouth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter, you wanna kill me?!\u201d asked Curlandii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cQuite preposterous!\u201d snapped the prosecutor. \u201cWhen the police broke into the office, they found the defendant, Sho Girla, standing over the body of a murdered woman clutching a wand-only crossbow in her hands!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhich only goes to prove that my client is innocent!\u201d replied Bujamiso.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cInnocent?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes, Ma\u2019am, and I\u2019ll prove it!\u201d He picked up Exhibit A, a crossbow that only fired with a wand in its stock. \u201cLords and Ladies,\u201d he said, \u201cthe action of this crossbow is so hard, it would take the strength of a Troll to pull the trigger!\u201d He turned to Curlandii. \u201cTry it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m no Troll!\u201d protested Curlandii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo, your jaw\u2019s too small,\u201d replied Moru. She then poked Curlandii\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo I\u2019m a Troll,\u201d said Curlandii once she recovered from the eyepoke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPull the trigger!\u201d directed Bujamiso. Curlandii tentatively took it. \u201cNever fear, there\u2019s no wand in there.\u201d Curlandii tried to pull the trigger, but she was straining to do so. Her face was turning an alarming shade of purple in the attempt. Bujamiso, feeling secure on that front, turned to the jury. \u201cSho Girla\u2019s strict exercise regimen has her focus more on her legs. So, tell me, how could her comparatively frail little finger pull the rusty trigger of that instrument of war?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAin\u2019t nothing in there,\u201d sighed Curlandii. She then managed to pull the trigger and discovered that there WAS a wand in the stock! A magic blast leapt from the crossbow and strike Bujamiso in his rear end! He jumped in pain and ended up embracing a woman on the jury. The woman smiled, then leaned to him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cChannel seven four three, extension nine nine seven two\u2026after 40:00!\u201d Bujamiso realized that she was flirting with him, then his attention as grabbed by Curlandii trying to get her finger out of the trigger guard. When he joined the struggle, she fired another shot that knocked the pendants off Moru and Larima\u2019s necks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat did you do with my star pendant?!\u201d Moru asked Larima.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGive me that crossbow!\u201d growled Bujamiso as Moru and Larima tried to help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDON\u2019T POINT THAT THING AT ME!\u201d yelped Larima. The crossbow fired one more shot and it took the priest\u2019s toupee off, leaving a sear on his scalp. They finally got the crossbow away from her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou were called in to be a witness, right?!\u201d Moru snarled at Curlandii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCertainly!\u201d confirmed the larger Elf.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo were you!\u201d Larima said to Moru.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat are you butting in for?!\u201d Moru yanked on Larima\u2019s hair. \u201cYou were supposed to be a good one!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, ain\u2019t I?\u201d asked Curlandii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThen what are you disturbing the Royal Court for?!\u201d Moru tried to yank Curlandii\u2019s hair, but it was too short. Curlandii gave her signature \u201cNyuk Nyuk Nyuk\u201d and then blocked Moru\u2019s eyepoke. Moru went for poking out a single eye. \u201cGet going!\u201d Moru pointed to the stand. Curlandii sat in the stand again and ate on a strip of gum. Lardeth rolled his eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cStop chewing that gum!\u201d he called.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCertainly!\u201d Curlandii spat it out and started playing with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWILL YOU THROW THAT GUM AWAY?!\u201d Curlandii then tossed it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLook, I got rid of it!\u201d She then saw that it landed on Moru\u2019s nose. Larima then took a tissue and crept to Moru\u2019s face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHold still! I\u2019ll get it!\u201d She then closed her first on Moru\u2019s nose. Moru protested, then Larima got all the gum off and stomped on it. She then cheered loudly. Moru grabbed her arm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou\u2019re in the Royal Court, not in the woods, Talmazu!\u201d She smacked Larima and dragged her away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOrder in this court!\u201d called Lardeth. As the Maidens sat down, the wyvern spoke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFind the letter! Find the letter!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat does this wyvern mean by \u2018find the letter\u2019?\u201d asked Lardeth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThere\u2019s a whole pile of letters here,\u201d said Moru. She and her friends then looked through the letters on the desk, then Moru saw something. \u201cLook! There\u2019s a note tied to the wyvern\u2019s foot!\u201d Moru opened the cage and held her finger out. \u201cCome on, Wacky, Wacky, Wacky. Come on, Wacky, Wacky.\u201d Her hand went for the note, then the wyvern bit her! \u201cOUCH!\u201d The wyvern flew off and buzzed the throne room. The Maidens armed themselves with hammers and tried to hit it, hurting the people in the process. It then perched itself on a light fixture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow are we gonna get it down?\u201d asked Larima.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLet\u2019s get some salt and put it on his tail!\u201d suggested Curlandii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s no way to get a wyvern!\u201d said Moru. \u201cYou gotta wet its scales so it can\u2019t fly!\u201d Curlandii then got an idea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDon\u2019t wait for me!\u201d she said to her friends. Moru and Larima tried to climb the wall as Curlandii got the fire hose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI object, Your Majesty!\u201d called the prosecutor as she was fed up. \u201cThis court! These proceedings!\u201d The bailiff tried to stop Curlandii from using the hose, but it was too little, too late! Curlandii had already switched it on and a deluge of water erupted from the hose. The whole throne room got sprayed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat a night!\u201d cackled the wyvern before the water knocked him off the fixture. As Curlandii and the bailiff tried to tie the hose, Moru took the note off the Wyvern\u2019s foot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGet this!\u201d she called. She then read the note aloud. \u201c\u2018Who killed Milnaf? I<\/em> killed Milnaf, and with my bow and arrow! Don\u2019t try to find me and shove me off to Realmfleet Max. Signed Wingnut!\u2019\u201d Everyone cheered as Sho Girla\u2019s name was cleared. Once Lardeth handed down the innocent verdict, the priest approached him and held out the Codex. Lardeth placed his left hand on it and raised his right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI, Lardeth Felompha, do solemnly swear,\u201d began the Priest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI, Lardeth Felompha, do solemnly swear,\u201d repeated Lardeth<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat I will execute my duties as King of the Over-realm faithfully.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat I will execute my duties as King of the Over-realm faithfully.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI will uphold the laws and dreams of my people.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI will uphold the laws and dreams of my people.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI will care for those that are in dire straits.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI will care for those that are in dire straits.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWith the help of the now Mortal Divine Ones, I will not let evil corrupt my judgement.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWith the help of the now Mortal Divine Ones, I will not let evil corrupt my judgement.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIf necessary, I will give my life to save my people, should disaster strike.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIf necessary, I will give my life to save my people, should disaster strike.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI hereby pronounce you King of the Over-realm!\u201d The crowd cheered as Lardeth looked onwards.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At the port where the Endeavor<\/em> and Malnar\u2019s ship sat docked, Lardeth and Falnii saw Malnar, Gorfanth, Arsha, and Foresna off. \u201cYou call often, you hear?\u201d urged Lardeth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLoud and clear, Princess,\u201d replied Arsha. Her face then adopted a thoughtful look. \u201cWait, you\u2019re the reigning monarch now. That nickname doesn\u2019t suit you anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, I don\u2019t want it to change,\u201d said Lardeth. \u201cMy lovers may still call me \u2018Princess\u2019.\u201d He then adopted a pompous voice. \u201cThus is our Royal Decree!\u201d That earned a laugh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHey, Foxy, you\u2019ll tell us when your coronation is, right?\u201d asked Malnar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOf course!\u201d replied Arsha. \u201cBecause after the ceremony, I have something for all of you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh?\u201d asked Gorfanth. \u201cAnd what\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s a secret for now,\u201d replied Arsha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIn the meantime, we\u2019ll send you copies of our portraits,\u201d promised Falnii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGotta say, Princess,\u201d mused Foresna, \u201cthe roses in your hairpiece really give it a nice splash of color. Why those colors, though?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHumor me for a bit and remind me what the national colors for each Realm are,\u201d said Lardeth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAh!\u201d realized Foresna. Everyone then sighed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell,\u201d mumbled Arsha, \u201cI\u2019ll see you at my coronation.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTake care,\u201d said Falnii. They all kissed one another, then Gorfanth and Malnar headed to their ship as Arsha and Foresna returned to the Endeavor<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCaptain on the bridge!\u201d called Denstra as Arsha stepped onto the bridge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAs you were,\u201d directed Arsha. \u201cDid our mission parameters come in?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOur mission,\u201d reported Shalvey, \u201cis to deliver supplies to the Largandra shipyards and then authorize the Endeavor<\/em>\u2019s peacetime overhaul.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat would be nice,\u201d muttered Endea. \u201cThe weapons I got from my wartime overhaul are sticking into me!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNazay,\u201d said Arsha, \u201clay in a course for the Over-to-Mid Realmgate, then get us to the shipyards.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCourse laid in,\u201d replied Nazay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNice and easy,\u201d directed Arsha. The Endeavor<\/em> rose into the air and flew off to the Realmgate.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cNow, Sho\u2019s dance was over,\u201d said Moru. \u201cI stuck my head in the office door and I saw Milnaf and Dingbat arguing over by the wyvern cage.\u201d \u201cWhat were they arguing about?\u201d asked the prosecutor. \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d replied Moru, \u201cbut Dingbat was sizzling like a hot hamburger! He grabs Milnaf by the neck like […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5416,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[97,239],"tags":[482],"class_list":["post-5452","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-three-realms","category-the-three-realms-book-6-the-eternal-age-of-unity","tag-fantasy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5452","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5452"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5452\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5453,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5452\/revisions\/5453"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5416"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5452"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5452"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5452"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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