I had struck a friendship with Sonavok and an assimilated Cardassian woman named Eshett Ziddet. We usually had meals together, each one of us assigned a day when we cooked. I must admit, Romulan and Cardassian cooking is quite good, and they seemed impressed with the dishes I made so far. It was breakfast time, and I was the chef. I made some chocolate and banana pancakes (real healthy, I know. I had fruit prepared as well.) and set the table. The door chime then rang. \u201cEnter,\u201d I said. Sonavok and Ziddet came in. Ziddet sniffed the air.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDo I detect chocolate?\u201d she asked. \u201cHardly the healthiest of breakfasts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell,\u201d I replied, \u201cthe Lords have been expanding quite nicely. Why not celebrate?\u201d Ziddet chuckled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFair point,\u201d she conceded. I then served up the pancakes. Sonavok then put ketchup on his stack, like he does on all his foods, something Ziddet and I found odd.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou\u2019d be surprised how tasty it actually is,\u201d remarked the assimilated Romulan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, you do you, I guess,\u201d I muttered. \u201cFor me, though, I prefer the good old fashioned Vermont Maple Syrup.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI was under the impression that Canada produces better syrup,\u201d mused Ziddet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAh, don\u2019t listen to them! Vermont\u2019s the best!\u201d The syrup came in a can, and I poured it all over my pancakes. Ziddet did the same with a different can (I don\u2019t remember replicating two cans of syrup) and took a bite. As she chewed, her expression changed to one of confusion. It then turned into a look of panic as it looked like she was trying to open her mouth!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cM! MM MMMM M MMM!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat did you say?\u201d asked Sonavok.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMM MMMM M MMM!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s what I thought you said!\u201d Sonavok then stood up and went to assist Ziddet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHer mouth\u2019s stuck!\u201d replied Sonavok. I got up and the two of us tried to get her mouth to move. Our efforts were just like the Borg usually called resistance; futile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMaybe it\u2019s something she ate,\u201d I muttered. Ziddet then pointed at her plate. I got the hint! \u201cNot my pancakes!\u201d I took her plate and took a bite out of one of her pancakes to prove there was nothing wrong. \u2026Didn\u2019t work out too well. \u201cOkay, I admit the pancakes ain\u2019t exactly hot, but this is Vermont Maple Syrup! You can\u2019t say no to that!\u201d I scraped some of the syrup and gulped it down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWait, which can did you use?\u201d Sonavok asked Ziddet. She pointed to the can she used and Sonavok read the label. Just then, I noticed something was wrong with my mouth. Sonavok\u2019s eye then popped open. \u201cEr, which part of this \u2018Vir-mont\u2019 does Stix-fast glue come from?!\u201d Glue?! Oh no! I had a can of glue out to work on an art project! I didn\u2019t put it away. Ziddet read my thoughts through the transceiver and mumbled a flurry of Cardassian curses and swears. I mumbled an assurance and put the kettle on. The steam should melt the glue. The steam came out, then Sonavok took the kettle. Confused, I followed him. \u201cGood idea, Khan!\u201d he said. \u201cThe hot water should do the trick!\u201d Ziddet and I read his thoughts and tried to stop him! He managed to hold us both down and poured the contents of the kettle all over our mouths! The glue melted enough to let our screams of pain out! \u201cThere, you see?\u201d chuckled Sonavok.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGot something against Cardassians, do you?!\u201d snapped Ziddet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe steam would have been sufficient!\u201d I supplied. \u201cWhat did you think we were, lobsters?! You trying to boil us?!\u201d We were about to continue berating him when an alert rang through the Collective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cTarget universe located,\u201d reported the Collective\u2019s voice. \u201cIncursion ready.\u201d I replicated ration bars and the three of us abandoned breakfast to get to our stations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had a small spy probe, shaped like an octahedron, fly into the universe and look at what was going on. Right now, it seemed like a cul-de-sac within a barren wasteland with people just wandering the area. The probe looked around and saw what looked like red, yellow, and blue clones of a man and a woman wearing dresses of the same colors. They seemed to have the personalities of eager psychiatrists, but I had a feeling that, given the nature of the universe, they were actually prison guards. The people WERE Oni (Japanese ogres). The men in dresses acted rather flamboyant, but very affectionate with everyone, man or woman. The ladies were just as affectionate and flamboyant as the men. The rest of the people were various villains wearing some form of ankle bracelet. I could spot Lord Dominator (the main antagonist of Wander Over Yonder<\/em>\u2019s second season), Aku (the big bad of Samurai Jack<\/em>), Fire Lord Ozai (the villain of Avatar: The Last Airbender<\/em>), Sauron, Saruman, the Nazg\u00fbl, Starscream, Skywarp, Sunstorm, the Terrorcons, Primacron, Oyed, Dr. Borg and her fellow Councilors, Intrag, Lord Vortech, Hiro, Igura, and a woman in a pink dress. \u201cThey\u2019re all milling around,\u201d remarked Ziddet as our cloaked cube hovered over the area. \u201cI\u2019m giving the order to attack.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI wouldn\u2019t recommend that,\u201d called an assimilated Bajoran woman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThose ankle bracelets deaden the powers of everyone wearing them. We won\u2019t be able to test their skill.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe\u2019re not testing their skill,\u201d I interjected. \u201cWe\u2019re recruiting them as free agents. We won\u2019t be assimilating them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy not?!\u201d protested Ziddet and the Bajoran.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThey\u2019re a little against assimilation. I won\u2019t add them to our Collective if they don\u2019t want it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWon\u2019t they work better as part of us?!\u201d asked the Bajoran.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201c\u2026I was under the impression your old Borg programming was deleted.\u201d That silenced her. \u201cBut you ARE right in that the ankle bracelets are a problem. The probe\u2019s saying that they have a means of tracking their wearers on top of deadening their powers. The Oni are also a problem.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEspecially their combined forms,\u201d remarked Ziddet. \u2026That was new to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCombined forms?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAccording to the probe, the reason the men and women look the same is because they\u2019re each twelve parts of one man and one woman. The women are all Rallamtan Ferkelturgytqen and the men are all Yemtorpai Uromefyekgufkeh. They can each combine into orange, green, and purple versions of themselves, and they all combine into a black version that makes up their greater whole.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThere is a potential ally to help cause some chaos in that regard,\u201d observed Sonavok through the Collective. Jatturlan Najkutlentawyug, the butler for the Oni running this place.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHe has designs?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDesigns of civil war in this universe. Particularly this sector.\u201d I couldn\u2019t resist a smirk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cA Civil War among the damned,\u201d I chuckled. \u201cSonavok, Ziddet, work your manipulation magic. I want Hiro and his family, Dr. Borg and her councilors, Intrag, and the Terrorcons ready to join us. The rest can squabble to their hearts\u2019 content.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAs you wish.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I had struck a friendship with Sonavok and an assimilated Cardassian woman named Eshett Ziddet. We usually had meals together, each one of us assigned a day when we cooked. I must admit, Romulan and Cardassian cooking is quite good, and they seemed impressed with the dishes I made so far. It was breakfast time, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4546,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[614],"tags":[617,175],"class_list":["post-5534","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-weavers-journey","tag-author","tag-borg"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5534","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5534"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5534\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5535,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5534\/revisions\/5535"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4546"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5534"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5534"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5534"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}