My team ended up near a desert. There WAS civilization but I had a humanoid robot dog and a monstrous looking person with a scalp looking like an exposed brain with me, revealing ourselves would only cause a panic. Given the collective mental capacity of the town (Teufort), if I remember the comics correctly, a panic could only lead to disaster…and our being hanged. \u201cOkay, guys, we stick to the outskirts,\u201d I warned. \u201cThere\u2019s a facility near here that keeps putting lead in the water supply. As such, the townsfolk aren\u2019t too bright and are led by an idiot mayor. Pup-X5, I trust you have water filters?\u201d Pup-X5 gave a thumbs up and held up a tablet. Since he couldn\u2019t speak, his tablet communicated what he wanted us to know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGiven the nature of this universe,\u201d read Pup-X5\u2019s tablet, \u201cI figured a full emergency kit for everyone would do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGood dog,\u201d I praised. Pup-X5 wagged his tail at the compliment. Famine mumbled something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDon\u2019t talk with your mouth full!\u201d groaned Victor. Famine swallowed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI said, this is a town, right?\u201d asked Famine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes,\u201d I replied, a little confused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMeaning, it should have people, right?\u201d continued Famine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAgain, yes,\u201d I confirmed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo, where ARE the people?\u201d asked Famine. Our eyes went wide as we looked into Teufort. Sure enough, there were no people!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPup-X5! Technarain! Bio-readings!\u201d I ordered. The two sent a probe into the air and scanned the area. After a few seconds, the probe announced the results.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBio-readings: negative,\u201d it reported.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOkay, change of plan! We\u2019re going in!\u201d I declared. We entered Teufort and started looking. The search took an hour until Emmanuel screamed in fear. The scream came from the town hall, so we headed in that direction. \u201cEmmanuel! What happened?!\u201d I barked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe enemy beat us to this universe!\u201d he reported.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow do you know?\u201d asked Xiomara. Emmanuel revealed the body of the mayor of Teufort. His skin was chalk white, his lips were red, and he had a toothy grin on his face. Pup-X5 checked for life signs. His head and tail drooped, telling me what the man died of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSmylex!\u201d I hissed. \u201cThe Joker\u2019s here!\u201d Said clown\u2019s laugh then played throughout the building.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo, you figured out who\u2019s here!\u201d he cheered. \u201cExcellent! Since this recording didn\u2019t pick up Bratman\u2019s usual edge-lord rasp, I assume he\u2019s not here! Pity, but it makes it all more fun to see a lesser man than him try and defeat me!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cA recording?\u201d muttered Emmanuel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDon\u2019t bother looking for me here!\u201d taunted the Joker. \u201cI\u2019m already somewhere else! All I can say is there\u2019s a barn and a concrete building separated by a bridge! Might want to hurry if you want to save the mercenaries!\u201d The Joker laughed as we heard a beeping. It didn\u2019t take long for us to guess what that beeping was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRUN!\u201d I shouted. We ran out of the building and out of the town before we heard the explosion. \u201cEveryone all right?!\u201d I called.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe\u2019re fine,\u201d assured Brenden. \u201cThe Joker mentioned two buildings, right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHe has to be talking about 2Fort,\u201d I replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThen should we be there, like, YESTERDAY?!\u201d remarked Wyldstyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSteeds! Now!\u201d We summoned our horses, converted them to bike mode, and took off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We soon arrived at an area with two buildings called 2Fort, the first map of Team Fortress 2 and the mercenaries of both Reliable Excavation Demolition (RED) and Builders League United (BLU) were holed up in the BLU base. The Joker\u2019s goons were sieging the BLU base from the RED base, neither allowing the REDs to return to their base nor letting the BLUs gain any intelligence. \u201cLooks like we\u2019re gonna do like the Spies are trying to do,\u201d I declare as we witnessed both RED and BLU Spies being shot. \u201cWe\u2019ll sneak in from the back and try and take out the goons so the teams can reclaim the base.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd HOW, pray tell, will we do that?\u201d asked Emmanuel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe old fashioned way,\u201d I replied. I held up my Vortex Driver. The others got the idea and got out their belts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cVortex Driver!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cChronicle Driver!\u201d After those voices, we took out our i.d tags and Armor Auto-bio.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHenshin!\u201d we called.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOpen! Turn! Imagine!\u201d announced Victor\u2019s belt. \u201cThe Rifle of Range!\u201d Victor\u2019s Rider persona, Range, evoked a Canadian Mountie. Unfortunately, one of the goons heard the belts and spotted us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHEY! DOWN THERE!\u201d he shouted. His buddies looked in the direction he was pointing at and fired on US! We scattered and had to resort to taking cover.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou know,\u201d grumbled Arch, \u201cwe should have Sludgiona install a stealth mode into these things!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cA discussion for when we get back!\u201d I replied. We were pinned as the Joker\u2019s men kept us behind cover. What we didn\u2019t know was that both mercenary teams took advantage of that opening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cReady to charge!\u201d called a German voice. That could only mean one of the Medics was ready with the \u00dcberCharge, the temporary invincibility mode for a teammate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI am fully charged!\u201d reported another Medic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIs team-time, Doctor!\u201d declared a Russian voice, a Heavy, I would say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cReady for that charge, Doc!\u201d announced an American Drill Sergeant\u2019s voice. Just then, a Heavy and Medic team glowing red charged across the bridge and mowed down the goons at the entrances while a Soldier and Medic team glowing blue took care of the goons on top. The rest of the mercenaries followed the two teams and swarmed the RED base. We ran in and assisted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNow is coward-killing time!\u201d cheered the RED Heavy as he mowed down his enemies. We all managed to get downstairs into the RED team\u2019s intel room and found more goons. They raised their weapons at us but didn\u2019t check for the Scouts. Both of them grabbed a purple and a green briefcase and made a mad dash for the BLU base.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSTOP THEM!\u201d called a goon. Not a chance. We mowed down the lot of them. We then heard stomping up above.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c…They\u2019re using OUR respawn?!\u201d roared the RED soldier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCHARGE!\u201d shouted the BLU soldier. We all headed topside to see the goons on the battlements shooting at the Scouts while other goons charged across the bridge after them. We kept fighting the ones on the battlements until…their weapons disappeared!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cVictory!\u201d called the Administrator\u2019s voice. We all mowed down the goons as they tried to run from us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, I reckon that\u2019s that,\u201d sighed the BLU Engineer as he activated a metal lounge chair and strummed his guitar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI wouldn\u2019t be so sure,\u201d I replied as us Riders powered down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSon, you seem to know those maggots,\u201d remarked the RED Soldier, guessing I was the one in charge. \u201cWho are you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m Richard Saunders,\u201d I introduced, \u201cbetter known as Kamen Rider Guard. This is Wyldstyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey!\u201d called Wyldstyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEmmanuel Babineaux, Kamen Rider Arch,\u201d I continued.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBonjour,\u201d greeted Emmanuel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cXiomara Elizondo, Kamen Rider Seeker,\u201d I went on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u00a1Hola!\u201d cheered Xiomara.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOne of the new guys, Victor Young, Kamen Rider Range,\u201d I introduced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHello!\u201d greeted Victor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFamine of the now FIVE Horsemen,\u201d I went on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHello!\u201d she mumbled while eating a sandvich (the spelling IS on purpose).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBrenden Patterson, Kamen Rider Herald Y,\u201d I continued.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHello!\u201d he greeted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPup-X5,\u201d I went on. The robot just waved, earning a glare from the Mercenaries. \u201cHe\u2019s not of Gray Mann\u2019s design, I promise!\u201d I yelped. \u201cAnyway, last but not least, Technarain.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGreetings,\u201d he bid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThose maggots, as the RED Soldier described them, worked for a clown, and I mean that in the literal sense, called the Joker,\u201d I explained. \u201cHe\u2019s, to put it mildly, insane.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHow insane are we talking?\u201d asked the BLU Scout. \u201cLike, Medic level? Gray Mann level? Cause it don\u2019t matter! I\u2019ll beat that dummy\u2019s face in! You see these guns?\u201d He flexed his wimpy muscles. \u201cYeah, they\u2019re beautiful, ain\u2019t they? And these?\u201d he lifted his shirt to display his lack of pecs. \u201cYeah! You\u2019ll be grinding meat on \u2018em! I\u2019ll be running circles around…!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDon\u2019t you ever shut up?!\u201d barked the RED Sniper. \u201cYou\u2019re as bad as OUR Scout!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey! At least I actually have something!\u201d protested the RED Scout. The RED Pyro then mumbled something. \u201cOkay, repeat after me!\u201d snapped the RED Scout. \u201cMmm mm mmm I\u2019m dead!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHe said you can\u2019t pull your weight, you walking matchstick,\u201d I translated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c…You…understand Pyrospeak?\u201d asked the RED Soldier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYep,\u201d I replied. \u201cWe all can. A multiversal translator in our belts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMmmph mmphmmph,\u201d (Thank goodness.) sighed the BLU Pyro. \u201cMph mmph mh mmph mph mph mmph mph mpmphmmph mph mpmphmmmph mh.\u201d (It\u2019s nice to know it\u2019s not just our Engineers that understand us.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnytime,\u201d I assured. \u201cNow, the Joker is here on behalf of his organization called Shocker Rift, a terrorist organization that\u2019s after something that belongs to Famine. He\u2019ll most likely be trying to stir up chaos with someone skilled in that. Given that he sent his goons after you, I don\u2019t think you Mercenaries are on his list.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know if I should feel relieved or insulted!\u201d protested the BLU Medic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThere ARE Gray Mann\u2019s robots,\u201d mused the BLU Sniper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd Merasmus,\u201d interjected the RED Demoman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCome on, Merasmus always lays low when it ain\u2019t October,\u201d argued the RED Engineer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBesides, he\u2019s still enjoying his house-warming gift,\u201d supplied the RED Soldier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c…House-warming gift?\u201d asked the RED Spy, a little suspicious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes, house-warming gift!\u201d confirmed the RED Soldier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat house-warming gift?\u201d asked the BLU Engineer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSoldier,\u201d hissed the RED Sniper, \u201cI swear to God if you did something to anger him…!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAll I did was give him a grenade!\u201d protested the RED Soldier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKnowing you, hippie,\u201d chuckled the BLU Soldier, \u201cit was a dud. Your hair must have gotten in your eyes if you gave him a dud!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDo you really believe I\u2019d do something so dumb as give Merasmus a non-functional grenade, Private?!\u201d shouted the RED Soldier. \u201cI pulled the pin to prove it worked! Merasmus can confirm what I\u2019m saying is the truth since I showed him in his house!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYOU BLEW UP MERASMUS\u2019 HOUSE?!\u201d wailed Victor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYOU BLEEDING IDIOT!\u201d shouted the RED Demoman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to saw through your bones!\u201d threatened the BLU Medic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGentlemen, please!\u201d I called. Everyone stopped yelling at the RED Soldier. \u201cOkay, it\u2019s more than likely that Merasmus joined the Joker to get revenge on the RED Soldier for blowing up his house. That means the Joker and Merasmus will be based at one of the Halloween maps. Someone get me a list of said maps!\u201d The RED Spy pulled out a list and handed it to me. \u201cThank you,\u201d I bid. I then read off the maps. \u201cAll right, we got Cauldron, Cursed Cove, Gravestone, Monster Bash, Slasher, Harvest Event, Mann Manor, Eyeaduct, Ghost Fort, Ghost Town, Helltower, Carnival of Carnage, Gorge Event, Hellstone, Moonshine Event, Sinshine, Brimstone, Maple Ridge Event, and Pit of Death. That\u2019s a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMerasmus will want a map that he hangs out at,\u201d guessed the BLU Demoman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAll right, that narrows it down to Ghost Fort, Carnival of Carnage, Brimstone, Gravestone, and Slasher,\u201d I replied as I crossed of the other maps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhy not start with Carnival of Carnage?\u201d suggested Emmanuel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMph MMMMPH mh mmmph mmph Mphmpmph mh Mphmmph?\u201d (Why SHOULD we start with Carnival of Carnage?) asked the RED Pyro.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIf Merasmus teamed up with the Joker, then, knowing the Joker, he\u2019ll want a base that resembles a theme park,\u201d explained Emmanuel. \u201cFor all his boasting of being an agent of chaos, the Joker IS predictable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019ll get under his skin if you say that,\u201d I replied. \u201cSeems as good a place to start as any. Let\u2019s rest up and head there. We\u2019ll foil Merasmus and the Joker\u2019s plans and things can get back to normal…whatever passes for normal in this universe.\u201d Just then, Pup-X5\u2019s eyes flashed green. He wagged his tail. \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI left a probe to investigate the town,\u201d read Pup-X5\u2019s tablet. \u201cHopefully, it discovered something useful. Data\u2019s coming in!\u201d As he read the data, his tail slowly stopped wagging, then it drooped as did his head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, boy?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe probe found the Tarlaxian scout ship with the crew displaying the effects of Smylex,\u201d explained Pup-X5\u2019s tablet. \u201cThey\u2019re…they\u2019re dead.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c…Damn!\u201d swore Technarain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe probe\u2019s working on decoding the black box right now,\u201d reported Pup-X5, \u201cbut initial reports are telling me that the Source was on board as well.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThen he got us,\u201d I grumbled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe Joker?\u201d asked Victor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWho else?!\u201d I snapped. \u201cThe Joker attacked the ship after it picked up the Source and killed the crew! Now Shocker Rift has one and has a potential bargaining chip! We gotta…!\u201d Pup-X5 tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to his tablet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe Joker doesn\u2019t have the Source,\u201d it read.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo, I\u2019m positive he…!\u201d I continued. The text on the tablet changed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDecryption complete,\u201d it reported. \u201cThe Tarlaxians got the Source out of this universe.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c…What?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe Tarlaxians sent it away to a safer location,\u201d explained Pup-X5. \u201cIn fact, it looks like it went into the Tarlaxian Black Vaults.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe safest place within Tarlax,\u201d I realized. \u201cShocker Rift can\u2019t get to them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThen you can go now,\u201d directed the BLU Soldier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe Joker\u2019s still here,\u201d I argued. \u201cHe won\u2019t leave until he makes a chaotic, bloody mess out of this world. We need to stay and help you…gentlemen get him OUT.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cConsidering your knowledge on this \u2018Joker\u2019 person,\u201d mused the RED Spy, \u201cwe would be fools not to accept your help.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIf that\u2019s the case, y\u2019all need to stay with us until tomorrow morning,\u201d offered the BLU Engineer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat if the Joker\u2019s men come back?\u201d rumbled the BLU Heavy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s what a Sentry\u2019s for,\u201d assured the RED Engineer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThank you for the offer,\u201d I bid. \u201cI think we\u2019ll take you up on it. Pup-X5, Technarain, see if you can help the Engineers set up whatever builds they need.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOn it,\u201d replied Technarain as Pup-X5 saluted. They followed the two Engineers out of the Respawn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe rest of us will catch some rest while one of us guards the place,\u201d I declared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ll take first watch,\u201d offered the RED Sniper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGood,\u201d I praised. \u201cWarn us if you see anything. The rest of us, let\u2019s get some shuteye. RED Sniper, I\u2019ll take your place in an hour.\u201d We all headed off to get some rest while the RED Sniper headed off after the Engineers, Technarain, and Pup-X5.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My team ended up near a desert. There WAS civilization but I had a humanoid robot dog and a monstrous looking person with a scalp looking like an exposed brain with me, revealing ourselves would only cause a panic. Given the collective mental capacity of the town (Teufort), if I remember the comics correctly, a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":567,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[96,104],"tags":[249,9,221,247,258,15],"class_list":["post-566","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kamen-rider-vortex","category-kamen-rider-vortex-movie-chaoters","tag-famine","tag-kamen-rider","tag-richard-saunders","tag-technarain","tag-tf2","tag-wyldstyle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/566","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=566"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/566\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":570,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/566\/revisions\/570"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/567"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=566"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=566"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=566"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}