{"id":6517,"date":"2022-12-28T18:50:44","date_gmt":"2022-12-28T23:50:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/?p=6517"},"modified":"2022-12-28T18:50:44","modified_gmt":"2022-12-28T23:50:44","slug":"act-iv","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/act-iv\/","title":{"rendered":"Act IV"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cCaptain\u2019s Log: Stardate 4129.84. After several days in a Klingon brig, those three idiots managed to break myself and the crew out. We\u2019re making our way to their position now, then we\u2019ll be getting back to the Enterprise<\/em> and get out of Klingon space as fast as possible.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moe, Larry, and Curly were still in the torpedo bay when the Klingon medic approached them. \u201cAll right, you three,\u201d she grunted. \u201cYou got physicals to complete. Let\u2019s start with a baseline scan.\u201d She pulled out her own tricorder and waved it around them. She got the readings and arched an eyebrow. She then tapped her main unit and tried again, still getting the same results. \u201c\u2026Heartbeat\u2019s all wrong. \u2026Your blood pressure\u2019s\u2026\u201d Her eyes widened. \u201cHUMANS! FEDERATION SCUM! SPIES!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJiggers!\u201d said Moe. He and his friends then grabbed her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGET OFF!\u201d she roared as she flung the three off her. She then pressed the alarm!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Ka\u2019Liegh and her subordinates heard the alarms. \u201cWhat in-?!\u201d asked the Petty Officer. Ka\u2019Liegh got the report and her eyes widened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYOU IDIOT! THOSE WEREN\u2019T NEW MEN! THEY\u2019RE PART OF THE ENTERPRISE<\/em>! CHECK THE PRISONERS!\u201d An officer then burst into the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCaptain!\u201d he said. \u201cKirk and his men escaped! They\u2019re making their way to the transporter room!\u201d Ka\u2019Liegh then activated the intercom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAll hands!\u201d she ordered. \u201cKirk and his men are NOT to go back onto their ship! That includes three funny-looking humans disguised as Klingon men!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019d hate to be those guys!\u201d chuckled Curly as he and his friends heard the announcement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShut up, Sponge-brain! They\u2019re talking about us!\u201d hissed Moe. \u201cThey\u2019re gonna be giving us a haircut down to here!\u201d He drew his finger across his neck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh no!\u201d begged Curly. \u201cI can\u2019t die! I never got to see Andor! I\u2019m too young to die! Too young and handsome!\u201d He then looked at himself in the mirror and yelped at his reflection. \u201c\u2026Well, I\u2019m too young.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHey, we better find Jimmy and get out of here!\u201d said Larry. \u201cShe said they broke out!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBy golly, you\u2019re right! I\u2019ll lead the way!\u201d Moe then shoved Larry and Curly ahead of him. \u201cGo ahead!\u201d The three men quickly got out of the room, then bumped into Ka\u2019Liegh, her First Officer, and the Petty Officer!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere you are!\u201d snarled Ka\u2019Liegh. The three humans yelped and tried to get away. Ka\u2019Liegh grabbed Curly. \u201cThis is for your atrocious dancing!\u201d She then smashed Curly in the chin repeatedly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWait a minute!\u201d said Curly after a good minute. \u201cThis is getting monotonous!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, monotonous, eh?!\u201d She then punched Curly in the gut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s different!\u201d he said once he recovered. He then flexed his arm. \u201cYou see that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d Curly then punched her with his unwatched fist. \u201cWHY YOU!\u201d Ka\u2019Liegh drew her knife and was about to stab Curly!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCAPTAIN KA\u2019LIEGH!\u201d called Kirk\u2019s voice. She turned to see Kirk and the crew having saved Moe and Larry. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you pick on someone your own size?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2026Quite right,\u201d replied Ka\u2019Liegh. \u201cThis fat one can\u2019t even kill a wounded Targ!\u201d She and Kirk began circling each other. Spock got everyone except Kirk to the transporter room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

The Enterprise<\/em> still had Klingons aboard, so the three Ensigns had volunteered to clean them out. \u201cOkay, you rats! Come on in here!\u201d Moe shouted down the hall. Larry and Curly hid behind each side of the door with steel poles. A Klingon arrived, then Larry and Curly hit him! Moe shoved the unconscious Klingon to the Transported. Scotty beamed him back to the Klingon ship. \u201cHey, you worm eaters! This is the beginning of the second front!\u201d Moe shouted down the hall. Two Klingons arrived and were promptly knocked out and beamed back to their ship. \u201cOkay, skunks! Come on!\u201d This process was repeated as Sulu, Chekov, Uhura, and Spock made their way to the bridge. Soon, the ship was cleaned of Klingons and a shirtless Kirk was beamed back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

\u201cFEDERATION TREACHERY!\u201d shouted Ka\u2019Liegh as she returned to the bridge. \u201cArm weapons and raise shields! I\u2019ll blow the Enterprise<\/em> out of the sky if I have to!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCaptain, there\u2019s no sky in-\u201d said a pedantic Klingon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSILENCE!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTorpedoes armed!\u201d called the tactical officer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFIRE!\u201d An explosion then rocked the ship. \u201cREPORT!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTorpedo explosion in Tube 3!\u201d said the tactical officer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThose three!\u201d snarled the Petty Officer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe\u2019re venting too much plasma!\u201d reported an engineer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

\u201cCaptain!\u201d called Sulu. \u201cThe Klingons! Their torpedo tube just blew up!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019d say discretion is the better part of valor,\u201d replied Kirk. \u201cScotty, are you in Main Engineering?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAlready here, Sir! Everything\u2019s fixed up for an escape at maximum warp!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cChekov, set course for Federation Territory and punch it!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAye, Sir!\u201d replied Chekov. He followed his orders quickly and the Enterprise<\/em> escaped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

\u201cCaptain, the Enterprise<\/em>-!\u201d called the Klingon helmsman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI have eyes!\u201d snarled Ka\u2019Liegh. She slumped in her chair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe can\u2019t pursue in this condition,\u201d grunted the First Officer. \u201cI\u2019ll find the idiots responsible for letting those three men aboard and execute them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBelay that,\u201d said Ka\u2019Liegh. \u201cNo executions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2026Protocol explicitly states-!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBlast your protocol! Tra\u2019gh, do you really think ANYONE on this ship will survive this blemish on our honor if this gets back home?! As far as you\u2019re aware, it was a mechanical error that caused the torpedo to blow up in the tube. Make sure EVERYONE aboard shares that understanding. We NEVER went into Federation territory and I NEVER wore a blasted miniskirt!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2026Aye, Captain.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Back on the Enterprise<\/em>, Moe, Larry, and Curly were in the conference room with Kirk. \u201cGentlemen, I don\u2019t know how, but you\u2019ve managed to save the ship and its crew. For that, Starfleet thanks you and wishes to reward you with command of your own outpost.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOur own command?!\u201d cheered Moe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhere?!\u201d asked Larry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cA top-secret research station on Telarin IV,\u201d explained Kirk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh boy! We\u2019re gonna be commanders!\u201d cheered Curly. \u201cI can see it now! Me and my men, all ready to charge!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah, charge double for the stuff you buy!\u201d snarked Moe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGentlemen, please,\u201d said Kirk. The three stopped arguing. \u201cNow, we\u2019re approaching the planet and you\u2019ll be beamed down whenever you\u2019re ready.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCome on, boys!\u201d called Moe. \u201cWe gotta start packing!\u201d The three men then sped out of the room. McCoy sighed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTelarin IV,\u201d he muttered. \u201cNo one\u2019s interested in that planet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI presume,\u201d said Spock, \u201cthat this was your recommendation, Jim?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, it was Captain McIntyre\u2019s,\u201d replied Kirk. \u201cShe knows more about remote planets than me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell then, Captain,\u201d chuckled McCoy, \u201cI think we all could do with some shore leave to recover from this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAn excellent idea, Bones!\u201d agreed Kirk. He then called the bridge. \u201cMr. Sulu, once we\u2019re done here, set course for a nearby vacation planet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAye, aye, Captain,\u201d replied Sulu. The call ended and Kirk, McCoy, and Spock headed for the door. They all tried to leave at the same time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSpread out!\u201d snapped McCoy. He then realized what he said. Kirk couldn\u2019t resist a jab.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDoctor, I believe Mr. Spock\u2019s the only one with the hair for that phrase,\u201d he chuckled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCaptain,\u201d replied Spock, \u201cI do not see Moe Howard with Vulcan ears.\u201d The three then left the room in an orderly fashion as Moe, Larry, and Curly were beamed down to the planet.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cCaptain\u2019s Log: Stardate 4129.84. After several days in a Klingon brig, those three idiots managed to break myself and the crew out. We\u2019re making our way to their position now, then we\u2019ll be getting back to the Enterprise and get out of Klingon space as fast as possible.\u201d Moe, Larry, and Curly were still in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6509,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[905],"tags":[910,555,906,553,908,552,911,907,171,185,909],"class_list":["post-6517","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-a-taste-of-stupidity","tag-chekov","tag-curly","tag-kirk","tag-larry","tag-mccoy","tag-moe","tag-scotty","tag-spock","tag-star-trek","tag-three-stooges","tag-uhura"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6517","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6517"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6517\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6518,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6517\/revisions\/6518"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6509"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6517"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6517"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6517"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}