The saucer arrived at a spaceport near Olympus Mons. Amy was surprised at something. \u201c\u2026Doctor, how are we breathing and walking like we\u2019re on Earth?\u201d she asked. \u201cI thought the air was different to Earth and the gravity\u2019s supposed to be lighter.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cA combination of technology and something that people like you and Bugs tap into,\u201d replied the Doctor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCartoon physics, the reason why you can pull your hammer out of thin air.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEarth Creature and extra-temporal friends,\u201d greeted Marvin as he arrived with two lizard people. The Doctor goggled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026You stole their armor!\u201d she hissed. \u201cThe Ice Warriors place a lot of honor in their armor and you stole it!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThose are Ice Warriors without armor?\u201d asked Amy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes, and Marvin\u2019s playing with fire!\u201d replied the Doctor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI have my means of keeping these Ice Warriors on a leash,\u201d dismissed Marvin. \u201cNow, to finally clear my view of Venus! Warriors! Ready the Illudium Q-39 Explosive Space Modulator!\u201d A massive cannon rose from the floor and was aimed into the Martian sky. Marvin carefully adjusted the cannon and centered Earth in the targeting lens. An Ice Warrior then handed Marvin a red stick of dynamite. Marvin inserted the explosive into the end of the cannon with the fuse sticking out, then pulled out a lighter. He had a bit of trouble getting the lighter to light. \u201cOh, drat this lighter! It\u2019s so stubborn!\u201d he grumbled. \u201cI could pinch it!\u201d A flame then appeared. \u201cOh goody! Everyone, plug your ears and close your eyes! It\u2019s going to be loud and bright!\u201d Everyone except the Doctor and her friends did so. Bugs licked his fingers, then extinguished the fuse, then twisted the dynamite out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCome on! We gotta scram!\u201d hissed Bugs. The Doctor and Amy nodded and followed him, leaving all the Martians assembled still with their eyes closed and their ears plugged. Marvin then blinked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026Where\u2019s the kaboom?\u201d he asked. \u201cThere was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!\u201d He then spotted where the explosive should have been. His eyes bugged out when he realized what happened! \u201cThe Illudium Q-39 Explosive Space Modulator! The Time Lord and her friends have stolen the Space Modulator!\u201d He pulled out a walkie-talkie. \u201cDelays, delays!\u201d he grumbled as he made his call. \u201c\u2026Gossamer, there is an Earth creature with a Time Lord and her companion from the future at liberty within the base and carrying the Illudium Q-39 Explosive Space Modulator! Return them and the explosive to me and I shall reward you with that spider goulash you like so much!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAll right, Doc! What\u2019s the plan?!\u201d asked Bugs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, obviously,\u201d replied the Doctor, \u201cwe have to keep Earth from being blown up so Amy can be born five billion years after Earth\u2019s natural death. We also need to free the Ice Warriors and get Marvin and his ilk off this planet. Too many things happening at once!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll have to split up somehow,\u201d muttered Amy. The Doctor skidded to a stop when she saw a pair of Ice Warriors, one male and one female. She goggled in surprise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026I recognize that face!\u201d she said. The male Ice Warrior looked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cA new slave?\u201d he muttered, his spirit broken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026I recognize that voice!\u201d whispered the Doctor. \u201cYou remember, sir? On that sub? 5,000 years in the ice? You and I stared each other down in that mad state.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026It cannot be!\u201d realized the Ice Warrior man. \u201cDoctor?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGrand Marshal Skaldak,\u201d replied the Doctor. \u201cBy the moons, I honor thee.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou know this guy, Doc?\u201d asked Bugs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSovereign of the Tharseesian Caste and Vanquisher of the Phobos Heresy,\u201d replied the Doctor. \u201cHe is THE greatest hero the Ice Warriors have ever produced! \u2026Who is she?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe woman with me?\u201d asked the old Ice Warrior. \u201c\u2026She is the Empress\u2019s daughter, Princess Taxona.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cTaxona?!\u201d gasped Amy. \u201c\u2026Now we REALLY need to save the Ice Warriors!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhy bother?\u201d asked the young Taxona.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBecause we\u2019ve seen your future,\u201d replied the Doctor. \u201cAnd it is an honorable and glorious one for not only Mars, but the entire solar system.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026We break the chains?\u201d asked Taxona.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes. But we need to rearm the Ice Warriors,\u201d replied the Doctor. \u201cSkaldak, Taxona, do you know where your armor was stashed? Or if they were destroyed?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMarvin and his ilk couldn\u2019t destroy our armor,\u201d replied Taxona, \u201cso he displays them in the lower gallery.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBe warned, Doctor,\u201d said Skaldak, \u201cthere is a monster lurking around down there that guards the place. Marvin calls it Gossamer.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGossamer?\u201d asked Bugs. \u201cBig hairy monster with sneakers and bad fingernails?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s him,\u201d replied Skaldak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe gotta split up,\u201d muttered Amy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026All right, here\u2019s what I\u2019ve got,\u201d said the Doctor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Amy ran through the lower levels, trying to find the gallery where the armor was stashed. She barreled down a corridor, then skidded to a stop when she saw a trapdoor open ahead of her! Her toes were just hanging over the edge of the hole as she quickly regained her balance. She looked down to see strange monsters snapping like starving alligators in a moat! Amy clasped her hands in prayer, thanking Chaos that she was blessed with good brakes as she backed up. Her progress backwards was halted by something\u2026furry. She then noticed that the shadow being cast was bigger than her! She looked up into the eyes of a monster that had red-orange fur all over the body, burly arms with ugly fingernails, sneakers, and angry eyes! The fur covered its mouth. \u201c\u2026G\u2026Gossamer?\u201d asked Amy. The monster nodded. \u201cHoo boy! Think fast, Amy!\u201d She then turned fully to face Gossamer. \u201cSweet Chaos, what is that smell?! It\u2019s coming from your feet!\u201d Gossamer blinked in confusion, then pulled one of his sneakers off and sniffed inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWHOOO!\u201d he yelped, realizing that she was right! Amy immediately sat Gossamer down in a chair and began giving him a pedicure. As she rubbed a pumice stone over Gossamer\u2019s feet, Amy spoke as if she were a salon worker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSuch an interesting monster you are!\u201d she said. \u201cMy stars, if an interesting monster can\u2019t have an interesting foot care routine, then I don\u2019t know what this world is coming to! In my business, you meet so many interesting people! But the most interesting people are the monsters!\u201d She finished rubbing the stone over his feet and getting rid of the dead skin. \u201cNow let\u2019s give our feetsies a little wash!\u201d She brought out a dish of water. Gossamer dipped his feet in\u2026then the mousetraps in the dish snapped shut on his feet<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEEEYYYOOOWW!\u201d screamed Gossamer. Amy took advantage of Gossamer\u2019s predicament to escape. After running down a corridor for a while, Amy saw a sign. It read \u201cLower Gallery. Do not use the display pieces to rearm the lizards.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026No way are they really in there,\u201d said Amy in disbelief. She tried the handle. \u2026The door wasn\u2019t even locked. \u201c\u2026Complacency or a trap?\u201d Amy looked inside to see various suits of Ice Warrior armor and a big red button that read \u201cLizard Armor Recall.\u201d She decided pressing the button from a distance would be a good idea, so she summoned her hammer and threw it at the button. \u2026The suits then teleported and she could hear happy Ice Warrior roars from far off in the mines of Olympus Mons. \u201c\u2026Complacency!\u201d cackled Amy. \u201cNo wonder Bugs beats him so often!\u201d She pulled out a comms unit the Doctor had constructed. \u201cDoctor, Bugs, this is Amy. Did you hear those roars?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMore than that,\u201d replied the Doctor. \u201cSkaldak and Taxona just slipped into their suits. They\u2019re ready to go on your signal, Bugs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat might be a problem,\u201d said Bugs. \u201cMarvin\u2019s just watered his instant Martians. I\u2019ll have to disguise myself somehow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026You know about that show Daffy made about him in the 24\u00bdth Century?\u201d asked the Doctor, shuddering at the unfortunate butchering of a century\u2019s name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou mean Duck Dodgers<\/em>? That old Cartoon Network show? What about it?\u201d asked Bugs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe Martian Leader there is real.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201c\u2026I see what you\u2019re saying, Doc! Give me a sec!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat is taking so long?!\u201d Marvin complained to one of his Instant Martians, a green, bird-like creature. \u201cCan\u2019t you capture an Earth Creature?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThis Earth Creature displays a level of intelligence not usual to the rest of the planet,\u201d replied the Instant Martian.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSir!\u201d called another Instant Martian. \u201cWe just received a transmission! Her Majesty is here!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe Queen?!\u201d yelped Marvin. \u201cRoll out the carpet now! Royal Guard, fall in!\u201d The Instant Martians lined up as a carpet rolled out from the door. The door opened and in stepped Queen Tyr’ahnee Mirkin, the Ruler of Mars. She had the Egyptian-style royal clothes, inky-black body, and the transparent purple skirt of the Martian Queen, but something seemed off. No matter. Marvin had other things to tend to than oddities. \u201cYour Majesty!\u201d greeted Marvin. \u201cWelcome home! I trust your mission was successful?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGiven what I heard was happening to my planet,\u201d hissed Tyr\u2019ahnee, \u201cI had to leave the mission\u2019s cleanup in the care of the commander I took. What is happening? Why are the Ice Warriors\u2019 suits missing from the lower gallery?! And why is Venus still obstructed by Earth?!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The saucer arrived at a spaceport near Olympus Mons. Amy was surprised at something. \u201c\u2026Doctor, how are we breathing and walking like we\u2019re on Earth?\u201d she asked. \u201cI thought the air was different to Earth and the gravity\u2019s supposed to be lighter.\u201d \u201cA combination of technology and something that people like you and Bugs tap […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6809,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[959,1057],"tags":[515,35,962,1058],"class_list":["post-7343","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-doctor-who-crossings","category-series-3","tag-amy-rose","tag-doctor-who","tag-fan-doctor","tag-looney-tunes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7343","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7343"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7343\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7344,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7343\/revisions\/7344"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6809"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7343"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7343"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7343"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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