Homer was asleep at his post, the nuclear rod in his butt. He tossed and turned. \u201cIt\u2019s not selling out!\u201d he yelped. \u201cIt\u2019s co-branding! Co-branding!\u201d I\u2019m surprised he slept through the crash. In any case, we picked ourselves up out of the wreckage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat do you suppose these infernal contraptions want here?\u201d asked Gandalf as he brushed himself off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd why are there rivers of glowing green ooze flowing all around this place?\u201d quizzed Hongo, a little worried.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI wouldn\u2019t worry,\u201d assured Richard. \u201cThis thing gets reactor leaks all the time and the radiation doesn\u2019t bother the residents.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThey\u2019re probably used to it!\u201d I yelped. \u201cWe, on the other hand, aren\u2019t!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
+THIS UNIT WOULD RECOMMEND WEARING YOUR ARMOR IF YOU\u2019RE SO CONCERNED+ suggested my belt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGood idea!\u201d I agreed. \u201cBut what about Gandalf, Wyldstyle, and Batman?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNever mind us,\u201d assured Batman as we said Henshin and put our suits on. \u201cIf we don\u2019t go anywhere near anything radioactive, we should be good. Wyldstyle, your scanner.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThere\u2019s something at the other end of the plant,\u201d reported Wyldstyle, \u201cmaybe the Keystone?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLet\u2019s check it out,\u201d called Batman. We went across a catwalk to a locked room with a dial that clearly wasn\u2019t set to keep the steam from leaking. Homer had finally woken up and was apparently informed of the steam leaks somehow. The intercom was still on, so we heard what he was saying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat do I do?!\u201d he wailed. \u201cWhat do I do?!\u201d He even had the instructions in his hands! Even then, he just fiddled with random controls! After a few button presses, he looked back at the book. \u201cAll right, brain,\u201d he encouraged said organ, \u201cit\u2019s all up to you!\u201d He read aloud, \u201ccheck core temperature.\u201d I figured that there was no way he\u2019d screw that up. Too much to hope for. He fiddled with more controls and then went to a black button. \u201cI just press this button\u2026\u201d in reality, no, he shouldn\u2019t have. That button made the steam pipes burst, causing the bridge over a vat of nuclear waste to collapse, and eliciting a \u201cD\u2019oh!\u201d from Homer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI get the feeling this guy isn\u2019t quite up to speed on nuclear safety,\u201d muttered Wyldstyle. She then saw some parts. \u201cHey, Swing, Claw, help me out!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIf you\u2019re sure,\u201d shrugged Claw. They swapped out their i.d tags for the Wyldstyle one. Once Wyldstyle Steel was activated, they started building a claw that was rolled up with a grapple hook. Batman pulled it with the grapple gun, switching it on and sending a Keystone Transmitter near us from the waste.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat helps,\u201d called Batman. \u201cShift Keystone, Activate! Cyan, near the wall outside the window! Yellow, inside top level! Magenta, inside bottom level! Shift! Ichig\u014d! Magenta! Shift! Royal! Yellow!\u201d Ichig\u014d and I went to our respective places. The steam from the pipes in my area blocked my progress. Batman told Ichig\u014d to turn the valve in his area. He did so, thus lowering the pressure so the steam won\u2019t block my path. I then signed to Batman asking if I should go and pull the lever at the end of my area. He gave me the thumbs up and so I pulled the lever. It drained away some of the waste so it could reveal the remains of the bridge. \u201cShift! Ichig\u014d! Cyan! Shift! Royal! Cyan!\u201d We came out through the cyan portal. Thank goodness. We crossed the bridge, with Arch, Lukas, and I carrying Batman, Gandalf, and Wyldstyle, much to Batman\u2019s annoyance, and saw a guy in a green business suit with an extended upper lip, liver spots on top of his head, and a scheming look to his eyes, and named, I believe, Mr. Burns, take down the zero on the billboard that indicated the days without an accident. It went from zero\u2026to\u2026three?! This whole thing isn\u2019t an accident?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cUm, excuse me?! Hello?! Thank you?!\u201d yelped Touch\u00e9. She only says that when something that defies logic happens or when someone says something incredibly dumb. Mr. Burns then turned the billboard that indicated the\u2026days without an otherworldly invasion?! Apparently, it was three hundred twenty-three days without such an occurrence before this one. Mr. Burns changed it to zero, sighed while shaking his head, and walked out slowly. Meanwhile, we were running on a conveyor belt with a bunch of barrels coming out and almost squashing us. We managed to get to the other side when we heard Homer speak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cVent radioactive gas? N-O,\u201d he said to himself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHomer,\u201d I shrieked internally as I saw people in hazmat suits trying to escape, \u201canata wa bakada!\u201d (you are an idiot!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHomer, you genius!\u201d praised Homer to himself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhy is this guy in charge of safety?!\u201d asked Wyldstyle. \u201cHe couldn\u2019t cross the road!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe need to get across to save those people,\u201d I resolved. The main problem with that was that there were massive covered vents in our way. We could easily reach the first vent, but the second and last were too tall for us to reach, well, maybe not Ichig\u014d, but the rest of us aren\u2019t\u2026wait a minute, that\u2019s it! \u201cWyldstyle!\u201d I shouted. \u201cWall jump up there! I think the controls to make this easier are over there!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d yelped Wyldstyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJust trust me!\u201d I assured. Wyldstyle shrugged as she did as I requested. She found the controls and pulled a lever down. Some steam raised the cover of a vent at different intervals. She got the idea and pulled the other levers. There wasn\u2019t an exact pattern to when the platforms raised, but that was unimportant. Clash then leapt up and landed on a vent cover when it went down. She was then lifted by the steam and raised to another platform. After a few jumps, she gave the thumbs up that our weight would be supported if we went one at a time. I wish she didn\u2019t do that. She\u2019s too valuable to me. We all made it to the other side and heard Homer speak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThis is my chance to show everyone how professional I am!\u201d he cheered. He then ran around his seat, smashed his fists on the buttons, then banged his head once, then went to sleep! Those actions resulted in a power generator holding door locks to malfunction and release the door latch. Barrels then came out of the door and onto a conveyor belt. They were then put right-side up and put under squashers. Thankfully, that wasn\u2019t our problem at the moment. We had to get the people trapped in the gas out. Ichig\u014d and I punched the glass, got our hands, and opened it from the other side. The people got out as we got something to block the door. Once that was done, we realized our only path was through the squashers. The controls were inside a locked room. Batman\u2019s gauntlet light started glowing green. We looked all around until Gandalf lit up a room in total darkness in a lower level. We brought the transmitter into the light, giving Batman his Keystone Powers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShift Keystone, activate!\u201d he announced. \u201cMagenta, on white panel inside room! Cyan, on scaffolding! Yellow, on the raised platform!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh yes?\u201d asked Battle. \u201cYou\u2019re just going to put the portal on a white panel?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes,\u201d confirmed Batman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOn a lower level panel?\u201d quizzed Battle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes,\u201d replied Batman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd people are supposed to reach the controls that way?\u201d asked Battle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYes,\u201d sighed Batman, annoyed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026How?\u201d asked Battle. Batman opened his mouth when he realized he was too eager to place portals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBatman, you may need me on the scaffolding,\u201d said Gandalf. \u201cThe way I see things, there are two components that relate to the door over there. It seems locked for the person that goes in the magenta portal. However, if I were to undo the power that holds the door and transfer to the yellow portal, thus putting me on the platform, I can push something down to Madam Wyldstyle and she can build something to get that panel at a higher elevation.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGood idea,\u201d I praised. \u201cBatman, if you please?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShift! Gandalf! Cyan!\u201d announced Batman. Gandalf ended up on the scaffolding, undid the components, unlocking the door for the room and shutting the door that was spewing barrels under the crusher. He was then transferred to the yellow portal and shoved a crate off. Wyldstyle used the parts to build a giant joystick. Battle had changed into Gandalf steel and used magic to move the panel to the upper level. \u201cShift! Ichig\u014d Gandalf! Wyldstyle! Outback! Hunt! Claw! Swing! Clash! Climb! Gallop! Sengoku! Royal! Guard! Touch\u00e9! Zh\u00e0nsh\u00ec! Arch! K\u00e4mpfer! Seeker! Battle! Batman! Magenta!\u201d called Batman, trying a different approach. Tedious, yes, but it worked. We went through the portal and walked along the conveyor belt to end up in front of a hallway with a security camera. I saw the door controls and figured I\u2019d just waltz up and use them. My arrogance proved me wrong as the door controls locked at the sight of me. I turned on my heel and walked back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAny suggestions?\u201d I asked, open to ideas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAllow me,\u201d replied Batman. He then pulled his cape in front of his face and started going transparent. He went down the hall, fiddled with the controls and deactivated the camera and door locks. That door led to an area filled with toxic waste and a bunch of Micro-managers trying to yank something out of the wall, their boss, I assume, given that it spoke. He was a man in a gray business suit, had an elaborate red and black headdress with a red coffee cup on each side, a chest plate in black with shoulder pads and a red tie in the middle, a long red cape, and black boots with red light up sections that alter his height according to his whims. Judging by the look on Wyldstyle\u2019s face, I\u2019d say it was a certain business lord she\u2019s been on the run from in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo,\u201d asked the man, \u201cwhat I\u2019m saying is, why didn\u2019t you just cut a bigger hole?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJust wasn\u2019t in the budget,\u201d joked Rogue\u2019s voice. The business lord didn\u2019t appreciate the joke as Rogue walked in, laughing at the man\u2019s predicament. The business man was the pulled out by the Micro-managers and set upright.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLord Business!\u201d hissed Wyldstyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWyldstyle?\u201d exclaimed Lord Business. \u201cIt WAS you meddling!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThis is impossible!\u201d snapped Wyldstyle. \u201cYou were about to graduate from the Master Builder Academy! Why are you up to your old tricks?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey, I\u2019d love to catch up,\u201d replied Lord Business, \u201cbut I have to grab something and then destroy you and your friends. Mmkay? Mmkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShort, and to the point,\u201d praised Rogue. \u201cI like that. How about an assist for you? The element\u2019s up there in that man\u2019s hands!\u201d He pointed to Homer who was looking on from an observation window.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGet the element!\u201d Lord Business ordered his Micro-managers. One of them chased Homer throughout the facility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOw! Hoo-hoo! Ow, my thingies!\u201d screamed Homer. He was then brought into the room in the Micro-manager\u2019s grip. He screamed for a bit, then realized he had a drumstick in his hand, the edible kind, chomped on it, then saw Lord Business and Rogue. \u201cI\u2019m not normally a praying man,\u201d wailed Homer as the Micro-manager threw the drumstick into the ooze, dissolving the meat and leaving the bone, \u201cbut if you\u2019re up there, please save me, Superman!\u201d Batman visibly winced at this. Homer then got the wrong idea about Rogue and Lord Business. \u201cOh my gosh, space aliens! Don\u2019t eat me! I have a wife and kids! Eat them!\u201d He was then taken away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRight,\u201d chuckled Lord Business, \u201cthat\u2019s the grabbing done. Now, what was the other thing?\u201d A wicked grin appeared on his face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou\u2019re going nowhere with this plan!\u201d I snarled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd who\u2019s going to stop us, you?\u201d asked Rogue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, it was nice of you guys to drop by,\u201d said Lord Business, \u201cbut Rogue and I don\u2019t have time to play. We\u2019re a little busy.\u201d Batman studied the area.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThose toxic waste pumps look useful,\u201d he mused, \u201cIF we can get to them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHIT THE DECK!\u201d shouted Guard. As we ducked, a red laser beam swept over us, destroying a gold apparatus, revealing parts that Wyldstyle picked up with Master Builder vision. The laser beam terminated automatically, making Lord Business growl in frustration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLook,\u201d he hissed, \u201cthis is a new gun, okay! It needs a little time to recharge, so my goons will distract you, all right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDon\u2019t tell them the plan!\u201d snapped Rogue. He summoned Turretorg again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThere you are!\u201d snarled the monster as it fired on us. We had to dodge its weapons as it fired. Another gold apparatus was destroyed as we dodged shrapnel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDo you mind!\u201d shouted Rogue. He swept the area with another laser, destroying the last gold apparatus. \u201cWell, I can safely be called an idiot,\u201d muttered Rogue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDarn right!\u201d agreed Wyldstyle as she built a pump, pulled the lever, and spewed toxic waste at Lord Business. After he fell into the pool of the stuff, he got back up, destroyed the pump, and sent parts of the ceiling down on our heads! It destroyed the platform we were on, so we had to use the ceiling panels to stay out of the toxic waste. Lord Business got the gun working again, but we dodged the laser until it ran out of juice again. He grunted in frustration at this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhy are you so difficult?!\u201d snarled Lord Business. \u201cJust stay still and let me get you already!\u201d As more of the SWAT-bots came back, Zh\u00e0nsh\u00ec activated Wyldstyle Steel, rebuilt the pump, and pumped more toxic waste onto Lord Business. He destroyed the thing again, but Batman saw a Keystone transmitter in the vicinity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShift Keystone, activate!\u201d he announced. \u201cCyan, on upper left platform! Yellow, on upper middle platform! Magenta, on upper right platform!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cReally?\u201d asked Lord Business. \u201cIt\u2019s like you\u2019re just asking me to attack you in lots of different and interesting ways!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIf I may use the Cyan portal, please?\u201d I asked Batman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShift! Cyan! Royal!\u201d announced Batman. I went into the portal and got to a control panel for a toxic waste pump.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLet\u2019s see,\u201d I mused as I looked over the controls. My eyes stopped at a lever. It asked if I wanted to activate the pump. \u201cY-E-S,\u201d I exclaimed as I pulled the lever. Green ooze spilled onto Lord Business. The flow automatically cut itself off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDo you mind?\u201d protested Lord Business. \u201cThis is a new suit!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI see waste pump controls at the magenta portal!\u201d called Guard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShift! Guard! Magenta!\u201d announced Batman. Guard was transported to the waste pump controls and pressed a button to activate it. More green ooze spilled onto Lord Business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe all know that toxic waste gives you awesome super powers,\u201d called Turretorg as it plunged its hand into the stuff, \u201cso you just keep on trying that. Thanks!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat are you doing?!\u201d shouted Rogue. At that moment, Turretorg started glowing green. Sickeningly yellow claws appeared on its hands. Its eyes started glowing yellow as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNow, I am Turretoxorg!\u201d announced the new monster. His bullets were like acid as it started melting the metal of the walls!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShift! Arch! Yellow!\u201d Arch was sent through the yellow portal, activated Batman Steel, and used the grapple gun to pull the end of a waste pump towards him. It unblocked the flow of waste as it spilled onto Lord Business. He managed to get away from the stuff and switched a walkie-talkie on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cTell him \u2018It\u2019s showtime!\u2019\u201d he ordered to his forces. Meanwhile, a Micro-manager was chasing Homer as he escaped its grip. He was climbing the walls, swimming in the waste, and hiding among us in funny glasses. He was then caught by a Micro-manager as he gripped the pipes while the black box tugged at his pants, trying to get the nuclear rod stuck in them. It managed to remove the pants and send the rod flying everywhere. It bounced on the Micro-manager and towards Gandalf who used his staff as a bat and hit the rod\u2026right into Rogue\u2019s hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLook at that!\u201d he gloated. \u201cRight into my hand!\u201d Homer was distracted in the meantime.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey! Get your own pants!\u201d shouted the head of the Simpson household before he covered his crotch and shuffled off in embarrassment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey, it\u2019s been great seeing you catch up with your old friend Lord Business, Madam Wyldstyle,\u201d called Rogue, \u201cbut I have somewhere less exploding to be.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat about me?\u201d asked Lord Business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat about you?\u201d asked Rogue as he took out a remote and pressed a button. Something sparked on the back of Lord Business\u2019 neck. He then looked around the place and saw Wyldstyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, hey, Wyldstyle!\u201d he said pleasantly. \u201cWhat are you doing here? Er\u2026where IS here, exactly?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDon\u2019t even try to play dumb here!\u201d snapped Guard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHe\u2019s not,\u201d replied Rogue. He held up the remote he had used earlier. \u201cI had originally suggested to my Shocker buddies that they use a mind control chip in your cybernetics, Hongo, but they felt the usual brainwashing methods were still valid.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey, you said you came to me with a business deal!\u201d protested Lord Business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd look where that latent greed got you,\u201d chuckled Turretoxorg. It turned to a Micro-manager. \u201cYou know what to do.\u201d Rogue took that as his cue to leave while the Micro-manager advanced menacingly towards us. Turretoxorg made a swipe with its claws as the Micro-manager grabbed a batarang and grabbed the panel we were on. We tried to steady ourselves as Turretoxorg tried to shift the weight around. The Micro-manager took us all up to an ornate office with a model of Springfield inside. Judging by the statues, I\u2019d say that it was Mr. Burns\u2019 office. Gandalf straightened his hat as we looked around. Turretoxorg just looked at us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAren\u2019t you going to fight us?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNow how selfish do you think I am?\u201d quizzed Turretoxorg. I shrugged, and then resigned myself to looking around. I clapped eyes on a strange machine with a Keystone on top. It seemed to have a cone on each end and had a design with a red square, a blue L-shape on the left, and a yellow reverse L-shape on the right. I saw three switches and tried very hard to resist the temptation to touch them. I failed miserably as I turned the machine on. The machine then generated three portals that seemed to suspend a paint blob each, one red, one yellow, and one blue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOkay, what\u2019s the power of this Keystone?\u201d I asked to myself. My belt apparently doesn\u2019t pick up on rhetorical questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
+THE KEYSTONE IS CALLED THE\u2026+<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOkay, thank you,\u201d I interrupted. \u201cI\u2019ll get an explanation later.\u201d A cackle rang through the office.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh no, not him!\u201d moaned Batman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRoll up!\u201d announced the voice. \u201cRoll up and witness the hysterically hilarious, the riotously ridiculous, the marvelously mirthful\u2026\u201d a certain clown Batman knew too well slid on his knees on the desk. \u201c\u2026me!\u201d He caught sight of the Dark Knight. \u201cWell, if it isn\u2019t my old pal, Batsy!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJoker!\u201d hissed Batman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDing-ding-ding!\u201d replied the Joker. \u201cOne point to the Dork Knight!\u201d He let out a laugh. \u201cBut, can you tell me what THIS is?\u201d He started looking at a pocket watch as Batman glared at the Joker. Sengoku turned to Turretoxorg.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI ain\u2019t telling!\u2019 it exclaimed. The pocket watch started ringing as the Joker made a buzzing noise<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cToo late!\u201d sniggered the Clown Prince of Crime. \u201cMy experts say it\u2019s a power unit! So, let\u2019s see if it\u2019s got enough juice to wake up an old friend of yours, Bat-brain!\u201d The room started trembling. \u201cOoo hoo hoo! I think it does!\u201d said the Joker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJoker, what are you doing?!\u201d rasped Batman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIs there a reason behind the Joker\u2019s actions?!\u201d asked Seeker. The Joker blew a kiss at us, then jumped out the window!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhile he\u2019s getting Batman\u2019s old friend prepped,\u201d called Turretoxorg, \u201chow about I summon some of yours, Hongo-san?\u201d It pulled out a radio from a concealed pouch in its chest. \u201cCome forth, Combatmen!\u201d A bunch of men in black uniforms with a skeletal motif and a silver belt buckle with the symbol of an eagle holding Earth came out of the woodwork, literally! They came out of the walls and drew their machete like swords, surrounding us! They kept saying \u201cYee!\u201d for some odd reason.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShocker!\u201d exclaimed Ichig\u014d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLet me guess, these are Shocker\u2019s grunts,\u201d theorized Touch\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYep,\u201d confirmed Sengoku. \u201cThey prefer to attack en masse. You can guess their max strength from there.\u201d The building started shaking again. This time, a giant metallic flower on the lapel of some robot passed by to reveal a mammoth sized metal version of the Joker\u2019s face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, not this again!\u201d groaned Batman. \u201cDuck!\u201d A giant, green, four fingered hand grabbed the power unit and attached to the back of the robot the head was attached to. The Joker Robot then lifted the ceiling and a good chunk of the walls, which I believed to be impressive since the right arm was a massive cannon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cReady for round two?!\u201d asked the Joker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMore than ready,\u201d hissed Batman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo catchphrases?\u201d asked Turretoxorg.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, catchphrases?\u201d called the Joker. \u201cLet me hear them!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAs you wish,\u201d obliged Outback. \u201cKamen Rider Outback! Better watch your backs, mates!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKamen Rider Claw! My weapons shall turn you into ribbons!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKamen Rider Swing! I\u2019ll be taking your legs!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKamen Rider Hunt! I shall always get my prey!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKamen Rider Clash! A duel with me shall end in your defeat!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKamen Rider Climb! Mountains are a warrior\u2019s best friend!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKamen Rider Gallop! My riding skills are unmatched!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKamen Rider Sengoku! You shall get a taste of Feudal Japan!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKamen Rider Royal! Evil will ultimately bow to me!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKamen Rider Guard! None shall harm my friends, family, and lady!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKamen Rider Touch\u00e9! En Garde, thing of evil!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKamen Rider Zh\u00e0nsh\u00ec! Try and stop my quest!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKamen Rider Arch! My skills outdo Robin Hood!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKamen Rider K\u00e4mpfer! Your defeat will be certain at my hands!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKamen Rider Seeker! It\u2019s not gold I seek, but your end!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKamen Rider Battle! For friends and family, I shall be victorious!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI am Gandalf the Gray! I shall weave a spell of defeat over you!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m Wyldstyle! And I am not a DJ!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m Batman! The Dark Knight rises!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI am the start of a group of warriors! I am Kamen Rider!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2026That was long,\u201d observed Turretoxorg. The robot then grabbed an I-beam and swung it at us. We got out of the way, but barely, what with the Shocker Combatmen something into the air. They turned out to be giant wind up teeth with the Joker\u2019s goons and some strange beings made up of space. They were featureless and had no way to discern their gender. My belt started warbling in an alarming manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
+VORTEXONS DETECTED!+ it warned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, look!\u201d cheered the Joker. \u201cEveryone has come out to see me! Little old me! Too bad there\u2019s no Keystone transmitter for you!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou want to bet, clown?!\u201d snarled Batman. \u201cShift Keystone, activate! Cyan, on the cannon! Yellow, on top of the head! Magenta, on the left arm!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey, where did they come from?!\u201d called Turretoxorg. It looked around and saw a transmitter near the cannon. \u201cThe enemy\u2019s getting aid! Destroy the transmitter!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou guys protect the transmitter!\u201d directed Batman. \u201cThe Joker\u2019s mine! Hitting him will interrupt his sequence and do some damage, but he\u2019s too far away unless that thing stays online!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cJust try and hit me, Bratman!\u201d boasted the Joker. \u201cChroma! Yellow! Joker!\u201d The Joker then jumped into the yellow paint blob on the left arm and was covered in yellow paint.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShift! Batman! Magenta!\u201d commanded Batman. He appeared in front of the Joker and attacked him, but the Joker seemed to laugh it off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAh, the wonders of a Keystone!\u201d cheered the Joker. \u201cThis baby has given me a very powerful shield, making me immune to enemy attacks!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEnemy attacks, eh?\u201d mused Batman. \u201cShift! Shocker Minion! Magenta!\u201d The Shocker Minion he was referring to was trying to make a flying chop with that blade of his before the magenta portal caught him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYee!\u201d he yelped before he appeared on the Joker Robot\u2019s left arm. Batman used him as a club and made the Joker revert back to his, er, \u201cnormal\u201d self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey!\u201d protested the Joker. \u201cNow that\u2019s not very nice!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYee! Yee!\u201d said the Shocker minion as he smacked the Joker. The Joker threw him off, causing the poor mook to crack his skull when he hit the floor. He died on impact. A couple of Shocker minions saw this and started attacking the Joker\u2019s goons. The Joker, in the meantime, had left a bomb that just spat out a flag that said \u201cBOOM!\u201d on it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSimple fix!\u201d chuckled Batman as he rebuilt it to actually explode. Once he got clear, the bomb went off and destroyed the shoulder armor of the robot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s it!\u201d declared Wyldstyle. \u201cHe\u2019s weakening!\u201d A Vortexon tried to jump her, but she kicked it into a Shocker minion\u2019s backside. Soon, the Shocker minions were trying to get rid of the Vortexons and the Joker\u2019s goons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING!\u201d shouted Turretoxorg. It was then hit with eyebeams that came out of the Joker Robot\u2019s optics, reverting it back to Turretorg. \u201cWHAT\u2019S THE IDEA!\u201d it roared to the Joker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDon\u2019t forget to go out with a smile!\u201d called the Joker. More of his goons appeared. \u201cNice of you to come out and play!\u201d praised their boss. This time, he saw the chaos with the minions. \u201cHEY! CUT THAT OUT!\u201d he shouted. \u201cChroma! Blue! Joker!\u201d This time, he took a blue coloration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShift! Batman! Turretorg! Cyan!\u201d called Batman. Turretorg was taken by surprise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHELP!\u201d it shouted as it was sucked in. Once they were on the cannon arm, Batman started taunting the Joker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOf all the unfunny jokes you\u2019ve made, Joker, this has to be the worst!\u201d taunted the Dark Knight. \u201cHow is this demonstrating that chaos is eternal? All I see is your ultimate defeat!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s it,\u201d whispered Turretorg, \u201ckeep talking!\u201d It swung a punch to the rear of Batman\u2019s head, but the Dark Knight ducked, allowing the punch to hit the Joker, making him lose his color again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWill you just PLAY NICE!\u201d shouted the Joker as he set another bomb. This time, Batman had a little trouble reconfiguring it to actually explode as Turretorg laid down suppressing fire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShift! K\u00e4mpfer! Cyan!\u201d called Batman. K\u00e4mpfer jumped in and took care of the bomb. It blew up, damaging the cannon arm\u2019s armor. The robot the shot its eyebeams at us again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou know something,\u201d hissed the Joker, \u201chaving a gun obsessed mole like you help me obtain the Keystone was bad comedy!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMOLE?!\u201d roared Turretorg. \u201cYOU\u2019VE GOT A LOT OF NERVE, YOU COURT JESTER! I\u2019LL BLOW A HOLE INTO YOUR STOMACH FOR THIS! VORTEXONS, SLAY THEM!\u201d The Vortexons started overpowering Shocker and the Joker\u2019s goons. \u201cAs for you,\u201d it continued saying to the Joker, \u201cit\u2019s time for me to take control of this show!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not a show without the Joker! That\u2019s me by the way,\u201d called the Joker. The flower on the robot\u2019s lapel started spewing purple goo. I didn\u2019t know what it was, but it felt toxic to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThis metal giant appears to have a strange contraption attached to it!\u201d observed Gandalf as he attacked his foes with Glamdring. He was referring to something that had escaped my notice! It was next to the Keystone power unit and seemed to be patterned like a circuit board!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI think that\u2019s the robot\u2019s brain!\u201d I declared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOops!\u201d said the Joker. \u201cForgot to patch that! Chroma! Joker! Red!\u201d He landed on the head to protect the brain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNot this time, clown!\u201d called Batman. \u201cShift! Batman! Vortexon! Yellow!\u201d Batman grabbed a Vortexon and jumped in, swinging the poor creature on the Joker. The Joker had lost his shield and set one last bomb. The Vortexon tried to keep Batman at bay but failed as he reconfigured it to explode. The brain was destroyed as the robot went to a standstill to expose the belly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cClaw! Hunt!\u201d exclaimed Ichig\u014d. \u201cWith me!\u201d They jumped into the air. \u201cRIDER KICK!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRIDER CLAW KICK!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cRIDER HUNT KICK!\u201d The robot wobbled from the impact. It then proceeded to fall on its face! We got out of the way quickly. The minions of the enemy, not as lucky. The Joker popped out of the bloody wreckage with the Keystone in hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOoh, this looks valuable!\u201d he cheered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMORON!\u201d roared Turretorg as it punched the Joker. Batman was about to grab the Keystone, but the Joker brought out his tommy-gun. Batman backed off. The Joker got out his walkie-talkie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHi,\u201d he said, \u201cI\u2019m going to need a taxi from the roof of Springfield Nuclear Power Plant!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAdd me to the list of passengers as well!\u201d called Turretorg. A portal opened for the Joker and Turretorg.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh, never mind,\u201d laughed the Joker. \u201cOne\u2019s here. Be seeing you around, Bat\u2026\u201d As he picked up the Keystone, Gandalf whacked the Joker with his staff and tripped up both the clown and Turretorg, making them fly into the vortex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ll be taking that, thank you!\u201d snapped the grey wizard as he grabbed the Keystone. A portal opened for us. \u201cShall we?\u201d asked Gandalf. I pressed the vehicle summon button to get Shadowfax, the Batmobile, the Cyclone, Wyldstyle\u2019s bike, and the F.N.S\u2019s horses. All riders then powered down and adopted our human forms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAfter you, good Sir Gandalf,\u201d I said as I mounted my horse. Lord Business had caught up to us. He had apparently built himself a decontamination room and then converted it to a car. He explained that Shocker had kidnapped him after he was fooled by Hiro\u2019s idea of a business negotiation and planted the mind-control chip on him when he was still in Octan Tower after getting his graduation invite. After accepting his request to join us until he could get home, we all boarded our vehicles and Gandalf led the charge out of Springfield. Thank goodness. I was going to enjoy a nice long bath to wash my entire body of this whole affair! I didn\u2019t want to stay in Springfield a minute longer!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Homer was asleep at his post, the nuclear rod in his butt. He tossed and turned. \u201cIt\u2019s not selling out!\u201d he yelped. \u201cIt\u2019s co-branding! Co-branding!\u201d I\u2019m surprised he slept through the crash. In any case, we picked ourselves up out of the wreckage. \u201cWhat do you suppose these infernal contraptions want here?\u201d asked Gandalf as […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":102,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[96,8],"tags":[14,16,13,25,9,17,23,12,21,24,15],"class_list":["post-98","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kamen-rider-vortex","category-kamen-rider-vortex-chapters","tag-batman","tag-gandalf","tag-hiro-adachi","tag-joker","tag-kamen-rider","tag-kamen-rider-ichigo","tag-lord-business","tag-megumi-hishikawa","tag-the-simpsons","tag-turretorg","tag-wyldstyle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/98","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=98"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/98\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":99,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/98\/revisions\/99"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/102"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=98"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=98"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/samueljvinton.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=98"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}