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The Senseless

Pop culture had always talked about immortal killers that enjoyed the thrill of the kill, to see their victims flail around uselessly or to watch them run only to run them through with a glove of knives or to carve them into pieces. It’s quite the thrill for a modern person, for an immortal killer is a monster who takes pleasure and watching such scenes of horror can be seen with a grain of disbelief, knowing that monsters like that don’t exist. If they did, however, one can at least no longer feel pity in their end, for they enjoy the rush that flood their five senses; the taste of blood in their mouths, their victims’ screams, the warmth of their corpses as they expire, the smell of their blood’s iron content, and the terrified looks on their faces. Beware them, yes, but worse still is an immortal killer that has no access to the five senses. Beware those killers that the Devil has deemed too dangerous for Hell.

At the end of the American Civil War, a former plantation owner had lost all his assets thanks to his slaves being freed. While other plantation owners went into sharecropping with their former slaves, thus chaining them again, this owner was not so willing to have those of darker skin tones in his life again. The South’s loss crippled him to the point that sharecropping was not a viable option. His wife and children abandoned him and went elsewhere to seek their fortunes, his overseers had died in the fighting, and his animals were sold for him to try and regain SOME financial security, but it wasn’t enough.

He was destitute and wanted revenge against the ungrateful slaves he had. He killed many African Americans under cover of darkness. Through every murder, he became gleeful. Soon, he started killing other people, not just former slaves. Even his former friends and family ended up under his knife. He enjoyed the rush of sensory information as he took their lives.

Killing became his only pleasure, more so than the clinking of money, the taste of food, the smell of tobacco smoke, the warmth of the sun on his skin, or seeing a black man whipped to death. The police could never catch him, so he lived out his days as a serial killer. As he got older, however, he soon realized that he would be too weak to lift the knife and continue killing, so he made a plan.

He decided that he would find a way to be an immortal killer. He knew God would never agree to such a deal, so he decided on making such a contract with the Devil. He also planned on having the ability to pass through Heaven and Hell freely without consequence. Soon enough, he found one of the Devil’s agents and told him of what he wanted out of the Devil. He said he was ready to give up what he most cherished.

The Devil, however, was hesitant to accept. If he took this man’s soul, as was the usual price for a contract such as this, the man would eventually usurp him and try to rule Hell. He then realized that the man was all too eager to give up his soul and was informed of his desires by his agent. The Devil knew exactly what to do.

He met the man a few nights later and decided to sweeten the deal, offering him the ability to regenerate his wounds instantly. The man was grateful for this generous offer and accepted. Then, both he and the Devil signed the contract and the man was ready for the Devil to take his soul…only that WASN’T the Devil’s target. No sooner had he set the pen down than the man’s tongue turned to dust, his eyes melted out of their sockets, his nose was torn off by the Devil’s claws, his ears burned away, and every single nerve that corresponded to touch shut down! Every single sense he valued was taken by the Devil!

The deed done, the Devil beat his wings and flew off into the night, laughing all the while. The man scrambled in the darkness, trying to find his knife. Just then, a woman entered the room. When she picked him up, he grabbed her throat and threw her onto the bed. The woman screamed…but he could not hear! He couldn’t feel the suppleness of her flesh! He couldn’t see her! He drove the knife into her head and licked it, but he couldn’t taste the blood! He couldn’t smell it either! He was senseless! The woman’s husband burst into the room and shot him, but the bullets simply passed through him and his flesh mended itself! The man leapt onto the woman’s husband and stabbed him, but it was no good! His body couldn’t tell him anything! He knocked over a lamp, setting the tavern ablaze and killing everyone…except him. His clothes were burned away, but his body’s burns healed and he fled into the nearby woods.

Occasionally, someone will venture into the woods to never be seen again, but after ten years of terror, the killings abruptly stopped. The people were confused. What happened to that man? Did he grow bored? If only that were true, for all across the United States, mass killings and wanton destruction plagued the country. From small towns to the biggest cities, the killer always made his return.

So, beware this man, for he is unable to be reasoned with. His name is never mentioned in any record as they burned while he killed in his old home. He cannot hear, cannot taste, cannot smell, cannot touch, and cannot see, but he always kills. He kills so mindlessly, he is now more like a fleshy machine than a man. Avoid him at all times and make sure you have an escape route, for if you don’t, then you will be another victim of the Senseless!

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Soundwave Singing

Soundwave has had enough of the nonsense that Megatron and Starscream put him and the Decepticons though! So, armed with his cassettes and his voice, he’s taken over the Decepticons!

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Combiner Wars Silliness Finale

Motormaster: Oh, I see! Running away, are we? YOU YELLOW-PLATED GLITCH SPAWNS! COME BACK HERE! I’LL BITE YOUR ANKLES OFF!

Stunticons: MOTORMASTER, NO!

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Combiner Wars Silliness 7

Superion: Now, the question is, how do we explain this to Optimus? I mean, I’m getting a processor-ache from all my components arguing over how to tell Prime that the supposed “Ultimate Decepticon Combiner” fell so easily.

Victorion: My components already agreed that we shouldn’t even try. We just tell him that our intel was wrong.

Superion: …I mean, I GUESS it ain’t a lie.

Victorion: Look, we’ll tell Prowl first, ask his advice on how to tell the Prime, then we follow through on it.

Superion: Yeah, that sits on my processor a lot better.

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Combiner Wars Silliness 6

Motormaster: *Looks around at his injured teammates* …All right, we’ll call it a draw.

Victorion: A…a dr…whu…I mean, whuzzu…I can’t…

Superion: Might I suggest we leave them? Their leader’s clearly delusional.

Victorion: …Yeah, I guess we should go.

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Combiner Wars Silliness 5

Menasor: …THAT’S IT! YOU AUTOBOOBS ARE SCRAP! I’LL RIP YOUR SPARKS OUT FOR THAT!

Superion and Victorion: YOU’LL WHAT?!

*Injured Stunticons moan in protest*

Menasor: *hops around* Come on!

Victorion: What are you gonna do, leak Energon on me?!

Menasor: I’m invincible!

Superion: You’re stupid, is what you are!

Menasor: Menasor cannot be beaten! Have at you! Come on!

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Combiner Wars Silliness 4

Victorion: HAH!

Menasor: Whuh?

Superion: Okay, you’re just hobbling around on one leg. Are we done here?

Drag Strip: Please! Say we’re done!

Wildrider: Menasor, PLEASE! Even Primus wants you to stop!

Dead End: Think of your remaining parts!

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Combiner Wars Silliness 3

*Menasor kicks Victorion as she stands up*

Victorion: Look, stop that!

Menasor: Chicken! You’re a chicken, whatever that is!

Wildrider: Please, stop! You’ll decombine at this rate!

Dead End: For once, listen to him!

*Menasor continues kicking*

Victorion: Listen to your friends, because I’m taking your leg if you don’t…*one more kick* RIGHT! THY LEG IS MINE!

Superion: And he’s supposed to be a more stable Combiner.

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Combiner Wars Silliness 2

Victorion: Victory is mine! *Kneels* We thank thee, Oh Solus Prime, that in thy mercy…

*Menasor kicks her over.*

Menasor: Come on, then!

Victorion: What?!

Menasor: Have at you!

Victorion: Thou art brave for a Decepticon, but this fight be mine!

Menasor: Oh, still in prayer mode, are we? Little lady had enough?

Superion: Look, you stupid bastard, you got no arms left!

Menasor: Yes, I have!

Superion: LOOK!!

Menasor: Just a mesh wound.

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Combiner Wars Silliness 1

Victorion: Now, stand aside, worthy adversary!

Menasor: This is just a scratch!

Superion: A scratch?! She just sliced your arm off!

Menasor: No, she didn’t!

Victorion: Then who’s that lying on the ground?!

Dead End: Oh, Primus! The pain! It’s terrible! Just kill me already! My life sucked already!

Menasor: I’ve had worse.

Victorion: You liar!

Menasor: Come at me, Toots!