Everyone returned to Beyond City in grand style. The TARDIS arrived the instant the Transformers exited the rift and Health and Death were the first ones out. “Lady Health, welcome!” greeted Megumi. “I’m Megumi Hishikawa, head of the Feudal Nerd Society!”
“A pleasure to meet a friendly face,” said Health. “And a welcome change from having to deal with the Daleks.”
“Daleks?” asked Megumi. “What happened?”
“I think,” called the Doctor, “you’re in for quite a story.”
“In the meantime,” said Death, “I need to reacquaint Health with our sisters and introduce her to Lacey.”
“You go ahead,” replied Megumi. “And after the story, Doctor, could you PLEASE convince my husband his project needs a lot of work!”
“…Project?” asked the Doctor with trepidation.
Death and Health arrived at the Horsemen’s mansion. Health took a deep breath, then released it slowly. “…Home, sweet home,” she sighed happily.
“All that’s left is Order,” said Death, “then the sisterhood is reunited!”
“Minus Chaos,” remarked Health.
“Minus the original Chaos, yes, but there’s a new Chaos.”
“There is?!” Health opened the door. She almost crashed into Pestilence.
“Hey, easy there, la-!” Pestilence stopped when she saw her opposite. “HEALTH!” By now, everyone heard her voice.
“Health, welcome back!” said Bounty.
“Great to have you back!” greeted Life.
“It’s great to BE back, girls!” replied Health. She then saw Lacey. “…A human?”
“FORMER human,” said Lacey. “I’m Lacey Thanatos Atmadja, the new Chaos.”
“You’ve clearly adjusted well to being the new Chaos!”
“It took some training, but I used to come from The Simpsons and-.”
“That world with mustard yellow people with overbites?” asked Health. “The chaos there must have helped you adjust.”
“Never really liked my old home,” remarked Lacey, “and was raised by an asshole dad, so it wasn’t that big of a decision to leave my old life.”
“Ah, that makes sense. …So, why the Indonesian surname?”
“That would be because I’m married to a Mobian Komodo Dragon, Dr. Agus Atmadja.”
“…And…he’s okay with you not being a normal-?” Health stopped her question abruptly when she saw Famine trying to stealthily accept something. Everyone else turned to see that Famine was still getting pasta dishes! Once Famine shut the door, she turned and realized everyone saw the whole thing.
“What?!” she protested as she tried to hide the comically tall stack of pasta dishes behind her.
“‘What?’” Death repeated mockingly. “Got a boyfriend delivering it all to you?!”
“How many has she had?” asked Health.
“20 dozen stacks that tall, so far,” muttered Lacey. “We’re gonna go bankrupt at this rate!”
“Richard, this looks like it was built by Ogrons!” The Doctor said once she examined the Spectacular. Batman, Gandalf, and Wyldstyle were standing next to Megumi’s Legacy.
“Oh, come on!” protested Richard. “I thought you of all people would appreciate it!”
“Because of the jury-rigs she used to fix the TARDIS on numerous occasions?” snarked Batman. “At least they work until she can make proper repairs!”
“Yeah, there’s no way this thing should move at all!” agreed the Doctor.
“Your assessment, Doctor?” asked Megumi when she joined the group.
“Well-,” said the Doctor. Richard didn’t let her finish.
“While the Doctor found a few minor issues,” he said, “she agreed that if I were to put the Spectacular into production, I would make a fortune!”
“…Doctor?” asked Megumi incredulously.
“No, I didn’t say that,” replied the Doctor.
“Look, I did the math!” protested Richard. “The Grand Caravan was 2,500 studs, the Chrysler Pacifica was 3,000, the Tesla was 60,000, and the work was 70,000, that’s 135,500 studs in total. I could sell this thing for 500,000 a pop.”
“No, you couldn’t,” muttered Wyldstyle.
“I could!” insisted Richard.
“I must agree with Wyldstyle,” remarked Gandalf. “You couldn’t.”
“Yes, I could! A 2023 Phantom sells for almost 500,000 studs here!”
“A 2023 Phantom,” argued Batman, “is a proper car built by Rolls-Royce!”
“Exactly! What you have, Richard,” said the Doctor, “is three scrap cars glued together by a Muppet with no engineering know-how!”
“Look, the van isn’t designed for people like you!” snapped Richard.
“What, people with eyes?” asked Megumi.
“People who dress themselves in the morning?” asked the Doctor.
“I’ll tell you exactly who’ll buy this!” declared Richard.
“Orcs from Núrn?” asked Gandalf.
“No, baseball players!”
“No, they won’t!” protested Wyldstyle.
“Baseball players like Fords and Chevies!” agreed Batman. “Especially their respective lines of pick-up trucks! Not that hunk of junk!”
“What’s going on here?” asked a voice. A Jaguar Mark X then arrived, and Michael stepped out of the driver’s side.
“See, THAT’S a proper car!” said Batman.
“Ah, discussing the Spectacular, hm?” guessed Michael. “Oh, good lord, and you brought the Doctor.”
“Didn’t exactly give it a ringing endorsement,” remarked the Doctor. “…Now, your Jaguar…” Michael smiled and opened the hood (excuse me, bonnet) so the Doctor could see what’s underneath. “Is that a bi-radial catalyst engine?!” she asked, clearly impressed.
“It IS a bi-radial catalyst engine!” replied Michael. “I took some design ideas from your car, Bessie.”
“And you paid homage to her really well!” said the Doctor. “Though that engine’s not a cheap one.”
“No, building my Jag wasn’t cheap. But it wasn’t as expensive as I thought. In all, it took me about 385,000 studs.”
“What?!” yelped Megumi and Richard.
“I know! That’s a lot of car for only 38 and a half purple studs! Look at the size of it!”
“Michael, that’s about 150,000…” Richard rechecked his math. “No, 250,000 studs more than I paid to get the Spectacular built!”
“That people carrier you cobbled together,” replied Michael, “is your embarrassing attempt to reinvent the wheel, the classic pitfall of American technology! My Jag is definitive, your van…is derivative!”
“Michael, not to give Richard any leeway here,” said Megumi, “but a Jaguar, especially a Mark X, that’s something a Bond Villain would drive.”
“Well, I got the goatee and the dark clothing,” replied Michael, “so why not indulge in a bit of that feeling?”
“…Your car, your attitude, I guess,” muttered the Doctor.