A blonde man in a green tunic and hat swung his sword at a wooden dummy. He usually kept his skills up to par as he didn’t want any surprises from his usual enemy. As he practiced, he heard a woman politely clear her throat. He turned around to see his beloved princess standing outside his training field. “Princess Zelda!” called the man. “What can I do for you?”
“One of my royal friends has organized a party,” explained Zelda. “I was wondering if you would be my plus one, Link.”
“Come on, you know I’m not so good with parties,” groaned Link. “Besides, Ganondorf’s been a little too quiet and I need to figure out why.”
“I think THIS particular party will make you forget Ganondorf safely,” mused Zelda as she showed him her invitation. The symbol made Link think for a second.
“…Then again, I haven’t seen him since the Ultimate Smash Tourney,” remarked Link. “…All right! I’m in!”
Two squids and an octopus arrived at a landing site after launching themselves with tons of ink pressure. After landing, the cephalopods morphed and changed into humanoid creatures with tentacles for hair. The octopus was a girl with her tentacles’ suckers facing out while the squids, a boy and a girl, had smooth tentacles. They approached another octopus girl and three squid girls. “Agent 1, Agent 2,” greeted the squid boy.
“Andrew, I thought I told you we’re using our names,” remarked a squid girl in a kimono.
“Apologies, Marie,” replied Agent 3 gruffly.
“Hi Callie! Hi Marie!” called Agent 4, the squid girl.
“Hi, Bella!” called the long-haired squid girl, Callie.
“Greetings, Pearl, Marina,” greeted the octopus girl, Agent 8.
“Hello, Octavia,” returned the other octopus girl Marina.
“So, what’s the sitch?” asked the last squid girl, Pearl.
“We all got invited,” explained Marie, “to a party with your new Smash friends.”
“A party?” asked Andrew. “What for?”
“See for yourself,” replied Marie as she showed the New Squidbeak Splatoon the invitation. Their eyes goggled when they read the invitation.
“Oh, we’ve gotta go!” begged Bella.
“I agree,” affirmed Octavia, “let us go!”
“Eh, why not?” mused Andrew.
An armored bounty hunter sat by her ship. After a long, tedious mission from the federation, she couldn’t wait to just do nothing for a while. Unfortunately, Samus Aran, the hunter, couldn’t do nothing for long before thinking about her late parents, both biological and adopted. While she thought, her armor’s computer told her that her ship received a message. Samus rolled her eyes. “Just ONE vacation!” she hissed before entering her ship. She made it to the controls and opened her messages, reading the newest one before she relaxed slightly. “You know, that might JUST be what the doctor ordered,” she mused to herself.
A giant, brown-furred gorilla in a red tie snoozed in his hammock. He was enjoying a nice nap after a large banana lunch. His hammock gently rocked as he listened to the waves gently crash against the shore of his home island. He slept soundly…until a monkey in a red shirt and baseball cap kicked the door in. “HEY! DONKEY!” called the monkey. “WE’RE INVITED!” The gorilla, Donkey Kong, yelped and his hammock spun him around a few times before dumping him onto the floor, HARD! The monkey, Donkey Kong’s best friend, Diddy Kong, seemed slightly oblivious to Donkey’s accident. “Oh man, this is such a huge milestone!” cheered Diddy. “I wonder how big the cake’s gonna be?! Ooh! You think they’ll have bananas?! Maybe New Donk City’s…!” Donkey picked Diddy up by the tail and held him in the air.
“Diddy, what ARE you talking about?” grunted Donkey.
“We got an invitation to a party this morning!” explained Diddy as he handed Donkey the invitation. Donkey set Diddy down and read the invite.
“…Like I wanna miss this!” he decided. “Get yourself washed up, Diddy! We’re DEFINITELY going!”
A small pink ball with large feet, big eyes, and a mouth strolled through the meadow of his home. He didn’t have any major threats to deal with, so he could just enjoy the day. As he strolled, someone ran up to him. “Poyo?” quizzed the pink creature.
“Kirby! There you are!” gasped the person as he caught his breath. “Got a message for you!” He pulled the message out of his postman’s sack and handed it to the creature, Kirby. Kirby opened the message as the person left. He smiled wide when he read the contents and summoned a warp star.
A woman in a pale blue dress walked around her observatory, contemplating the choices she made to become the guardian of the cosmos. Rosalina, the woman, watched the stars as they danced by her home, the Comet Observatory. As she looked, she felt a sense of boredom. When the stars are your backyard, that’s all they are, a backyard. Rosalina sighed. “I hope you and your special someone are all right,” she whispered.
“Mama!” called a star with eyes, a Luma. Rosalina snapped out of her thoughts and focused on the Luma.
“Yes, Lumeeli?” she asked.
“We got a transmission inviting us to a party! Look who it’s from!” urged the Luma, Lumeeli. Rosalina checked the main monitor and saw the message’s address.
“…That long?” she mused. “Well, we’ve been an important part in his life. Polari, set course for the Mushroom World!”
A woman in a yellow dress with orange trim sat on her throne, after listening to various cases. While she enjoyed being a princess and helping the people, it got tiring. One of her guards then entered the throne room. “Well?” asked the woman, Princess Daisy.
“A man in green has approached the gate,” explained the guard. “He seems to carry himself like a plumber and…”
“LUIGI!” cheered Daisy. “Let him in!”
“My lady, I fail to see your infatuation with a commoner…” the guard trailed off as he noticed his princess’s mood turn sour at the comment. “…Er, then again, it’s not my place to question your heart,” he gulped. “I’ll just…go get him.” He dashed out of the room.
“Smart,” remarked Daisy. She sat for a few seconds until a voice came through the throne room.
“H-Hello?” stammered the voice. A plumber in green then entered the room and stepped forward for a few steps until Daisy leapt off the throne and tackled him into a bear hug.
“LUIGI!” she cheered as she squeezed the plumber, Luigi.
“N…Nice to…see you…too!” gasped Luigi. Daisy then released the younger Mario brother, letting him catch his breath.
“What are you doing here?” asked Daisy. “I mean, not that I don’t mind seeing you, but I didn’t summon you here.”
“I came here to deliver a message to you,” explained Luigi. He handed her a letter. Daisy read the letter to herself, then her eyes widened.
“…He’s been doing this for THAT long?!” gasped Daisy. “He definitely deserves a party! You better believe I’m coming! We’ll take my plane!”
“I guess I’ll…” sighed Luigi.
“Oh no, I said WE!” declared Daisy. “You’re coming with me!”
“R…Really?” stammered Luigi.
“Yeah! You’re my boyfriend, right?” asked Daisy.
“Well, yeah, but…” gulped Luigi.
“Then it’s settled!” declared Daisy.
A short plumber in red walked towards a castle. He had gotten a summons from his home’s princess and was confused at how short it was. “Did I do something wrong?” he pondered to himself. He approached the main gate after crossing the bridge over the moat.
“Ah, Mario!” greeted the guard, a Toad with a spear. “Her Highness, Princess Peach, is expecting you. Please come in.” The Toad opened the gate and the plumber, Mario, entered the castle. He was led to the main ballroom. It was dark inside.
“Hello?” asked Mario. The lights suddenly came on and Mario gasped. Princess Peach, Luigi, and all their friends appeared from behind a large cake!
“SURPRISE!” everyone called.
“What in…?!” yelped Mario.
“HAPPY 35th, MARIO!” everyone cheered.
“But I’m not 35!” gulped Mario.
“No,” replied Peach, “but you’ve been fighting Bowser and other various evils for 35 years.”
“…It’s been THAT long?” realized Mario. “Mama Mia!”
“Just think,” chuckled Donkey Kong, “ages ago, you and I were fighting over Pauline!”
“How IS Pauline, by the way?” asked Peach. “I haven’t seen her since I went on my world tour after Bowser tried to marry me on the moon.”
“She’s doing all right,” replied Mario.
“I’m surprised she’s not here,” mused Donkey Kong.
“She had to decline,” explained Peach sadly. “Her city’s in a power crisis.”
“I thought New Donk City got its Power Moons back,” remarked Mario.
“Something or someone’s leeching off Power Moons,” answered Peach.
“Yikes,” winced Mario.
“I’ve already offered assistance,” assured Peach, “I just haven’t gotten a reply. Oh well, enough of that, this is a party for you!”
“Speech!” called Link.
“Link!” protested Zelda. Too late, the call for a speech was taken up. Mario thought about a small speech for a few seconds before holding his hand up for quiet.
“Miei amici,” he began, “it’s really an honor to be around friends and family. Before Luigi and I came to this world, we were Brooklyn plumbers who had a few jobs. At that time, I had met Donkey Kong and he kidnapped my then-girlfriend, Pauline.
“I still remember the barrels you kept leaping over,” snickered Donkey Kong.
“Then, after saving her,” continued Mario, “Luigi had quite a job that opened our eyes to this world. I think you remember that job, Luigi!”
“I had Shellcreepers, Sidesteppers, and Fighter Flies coming out of those pipes!” grumbled Luigi.
“So THAT’S where the song came from!” realized Daisy.
“Please, NO!” wailed Luigi. Too late, nothing was stopping Daisy from singing.
“Something’s gumming up the plumbing,
Poor Luigi’s in a bind!
Giant turtles out to get him,
Creepy crabs are right behind!
Fighter Flies, jeepers, yikes!
They’re all coming out the pipes!
Mario, where are you?!”
“And someone used the theme for an old sitcom to make that song,” mused Mario. Luigi grumbled as Mario continued. “That incident, though, led us to this world. While we DID get a better plumbing job here, you guys helped me be a better person. You didn’t let me and Luigi be nameless nobodies. Yes, we’ve had our ups and downs, but I don’t see myself trading the life I’ve led so far for anything else. To friends and family!”
“To friends and family!” repeated the crowd. The party lasted well into the night, with everyone watching the old cartoons made about each other. Link winced when the Legend of Zelda cartoon came on. He hated how the show depicted him as a jerk and the phrase “Well, excuse me, Princess!” really got on his nerves. As the evening wound down, everyone retired to bed.
When Mario woke up, he was acutely aware of Toads screaming in a panic. “What now?!” he grumbled to himself. He put on his usual outfit and went downstairs, joining his friends.
“MARIO!” screamed a Toad. “IT’S TERRIBLE! THE PRINCESS HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED AND…”
“Which one?” asked Peach’s voice as she, Daisy, Rosalina, and Zelda came into the room. The Toads stopped panicking and looked at the princesses in confusion.
“Wait, Peach, you…WEREN’T kidnapped?” asked another Toad.
“No, I was sleeping peacefully,” answered Peach.
“But…but the tape says…” mumbled the second Toad.
“What tape?” asked Mario. He was then handed a video cassette tape with the phrase “Kidnapped Princess” on it. “…Did anyone watch it?” quizzed Mario. The room was silent.
“…Someone get a t.v. in here,” sighed Peach. A pair of Toads wheeled a t.v. into the room and Mario put the tape into the v.c.r. The tape showed a little static before it cleared to reveal…
“GANONDORF?!” yelped Link and Zelda.
“My apologies,” began Ganondorf in the video, “were you planning a relaxing time, heroes? Well, forget it! I, Ganondorf Dragmire, the King of Thieves, the Great King of Evil, the Emperor of the Dark Realm, and the Dark Lord, have made this message to have you all watch my greatest triumph! To prove, once and for all, that darkness will prevail, I will…!”
“What are you doing?!” called a voice that the Mario Brothers and their princesses knew.
“…Er, nothing, Lord Bowser,” replied Ganondorf, slightly embarrassed as Bowser stomped into view. “What are YOU doing?”
“You’re not making a video to tell our enemies,” growled Bowser, “what our plans are, are you?!”
“You presume me to be that stupid?” asked Ganondorf.
“But weren’t you going to tell the heroes about how we were gonna kidnap the Elemental Princesses?” asked the cameraman.
“Shut up!” hissed Ganondorf.
“Yeah, you were gonna tell them,” continued the cameraman, oblivious to what Ganondorf ordered, “about how you villains were gonna take the Elemental Princesses and drain them of their power and…”
“SHUT UP AND GET ANOTHER TAPE!” ordered Ganondorf.
“I don’t have any more cassette tapes,” rumbled Bowser. Ganondorf sighed as he slumped in his throne. “Ganondorf, I thought you said stealth was key! If this tape reaches the heroes, there’s a good chance they’ll beat us to the punch!”
“I understand your frustration, Lord Bowser Koopa,” grumbled Ganondorf, “but I already told your troops to make this tape and send it to our enemies! Now, if I DON’T, I’ll end up looking stupid!”
“A little late for that now, isn’t it?” grunted Bowser. Ganondorf then rose from his throne and summoned a ball of shadowy energy in each hand, growling at Bowser. “…Was that out loud?” gulped Bowser. Ganondorf fired one ball at Bowser and used it to lift the Koopa King into the air. “HELP!” cried Bowser. “I TAKE IT BACK! SEND THE TAPE! SEND THE TAPE!” Ganondorf then fired the other ball at the camera and the video ended in static.
“Elemental Princesses?” asked Daisy once the tape was ejected. “I never heard of them.”
“I have,” replied Zelda. “They command the four basic elements, water, earth, fire, and air. They keep our worlds in balance.”
“Well, if it’s the kidnapped princess business,” declared Luigi, “Mario and I are the best heroes!”
“Wait, I’ve rescued Zelda plenty of times!” argued Link.
“…You know, there’s a good point,” mused Luigi.
“Then let’s pack our bags and…” began Mario.
“Hold on!” called Donkey Kong. “Who said anything about just you guys? Diddy and I wanna come!”
“Besides, that cameraman,” remarked Marie, “said all the villains are involved.”
“Meaning you WILL need our help if it’s OUR villains,” supplied Samus. Kirby squeaked his desire to come along.
“And I’m frankly tired of the constant kidnapping and being sidelined!” proclaimed Peach. “This time, I want to save princesses!”
“…We COULD use the help,” mumbled Luigi.
“Then it’s settled!” declared Mario. “It’s time for an adventure! Let’s-a go!” He led everyone out of the castle. “HERE WE GO! SUPER MARIO HEROES!”