“Now, where’s that knock-off of you?” a blue Hedgehog said to a Black Widow Spider as they patrolled a rocky shore.
“Her Spark signature said she was here somewhere,” muttered the Spider. “Still, I would think Teletraan’s new sensors were more tuned than his previous ones.”
“He’s still getting used to them.” That was when the Hedgehog, Optimus Prime, felt something.
“…Prime?” asked the Spider, Blackarachnia.
“Something’s scuttling near us.”
“Crystal Widow?”
“It has to be!” The two stopped talking and dashed back to their real selves in their alt-modes. They looked around and then heard laughter, similar to Blackarachnia’s but more twisted. They then found Crystal Widow in her robot mode and pointing a gun at their alt-modes.
“Well, well, well, well!” laughed the anti-Blackarachnia. “Let me get a look at the happy couple! How’s your date going?!”
“Going fine, thank you,” replied Optimus. “How’s Unicron taking the news that he’s down five generals?”
“Believe it or not, taking it rather well. Let me guess, you’ve got the legendary Star Saber with you?”
“Bingo,” replied Blackarachnia. “It’s thirsty for you and Nemesis Prime’s heads.”
“Aw, poor little butter knife, gonna have to be thirsty forever.”
“I don’t know, you’re giving us a real good opportunity to slake its thirst,” observed Optimus.
“I have a gun to you guys!” As Crystal Widow laughed, she leveled her gun at Optimus’ vehicle mode.
“Exactly. A gun.”
“And there’s another thing,” mused Blackarachnia.
“What’s that?” asked her doppelganger.
“If you were smart…you would have put a mode lock on both of us the instant you found us!” The two Autobots then transformed and kicked her away. Crystal Widow then recovered and pulled out what looked like a Cyber Key.
“THAT’S IT!” she declared. She flicked it into the air and then sent a stream of energy into it. “FORCE CHIP IGNITION!” The device inserted itself into her back and the piping on her upper arms rotated to face her opponents.
“Oh, that is just precious!” chuckled Blackarachnia. She and Optimus then twirled out of the way as Crystal Widow fired. She continued blasting until her Force Chip was spent. Once she finished, she admired the dust cloud…for a moment until Blackarachnia spoke. “You call that a Spider Gatling? Dear Primus, girl, get it together!” Blackarachnia then charged out of the dust could and swung a punch into Crystal Widow’s face. Crystal Widow stepped back to try and regain her vision. Blackarachnia then drove her knee into her opponent’s abdomen, causing her to gasp. “You know, if you ACTUALLY did some training, I might be a little worried.”
“Forgetting Chun-Nan, are we?!” gasped Crystal Widow.
“Neither of us won that day, remember? I still remember wasting you on that mountainside. You’re nothing but a pale imitation of me.” Blackarachnia then raked her talons across Crystal Widow’s face…then Crystal Widow whipped out the Dark Saber and slashed across Blackarachnia’s torso.
“ELITA!” called Optimus.
“Did you really think Nemesis Prime wouldn’t take precautions with me?!” giggled Crystal Widow as Blackarachnia covered her wound. “He was really insistent on bringing this thing and training me to use it!” She raised the Dark Saber over her head, but her downward swing was blocked by another sword! Optimus then shoved Crystal Widow back and leveled the Star Saber at her.
“That was your last error!” he growled. The two then dueled, their swords trying to score a blow on the opponent. The blades then glowed, the Star Saber in blue and the Dark Saber in purple. As the blades locked, the resulting energies mixed, creating a massive clash of order and chaos.
“At last, we take our rightful places, Optimus! As GODS! Wielding the power of the cosmos!”
“I am but a soldier, Crystal Widow! And you and your cohorts and master…are prisoners of your own twisted delusions!” Optimus decked Crystal Widow, then ran the Star Saber through her Spark Chamber. Crystal Widow gasped, then looked down at the blade going through her.
“…Bu…but I…” She didn’t finish her sentence as she went limp and faded to gunmetal gray. Optimus then took the Star Saber out and sheathed it as he ran to Blackarachnia.
“I’ll be all right,” she grunted. “It’s really not as bad as it looks.”
“It’s still enough for Ratchet to fix you up!” declared Optimus as he called the base. “Teletraan, bridge us directly to the Repair Bay!”
“On it!” replied Teletraan. The Ground Bridge appeared for them, and Optimus picked up Blackarachnia before running through the portal.
“SIX TERRORCONS DOWN!” Nemesis Prime shouted at Unicron. “WE’RE LOSING THIS WAR! WE HAVE TO CALL OFF THE GAMES!”
“We will do no such thing!” snarled Unicron. “This is the classic Transformer playbook. This little bit of assassination is just the beginning. The more power we gain, the more others will seek to challenge us. When the games are done, I will resurrect the slain Terrorcons.”
“Then we’ll kill every single Transformer!”
“No, Optimus must be made an example of, or others will rise to take his place.”
“Then we’ll kill THEM as well!”
“Nemesis Prime, answer your old master this: why kill countless challengers when you can stop it all by breaking the greatest?”
“Because we’re trying to win a war, not play politics!” Nemesis then stormed off.
“With the Transformers,” Unicron called to him, “war and politics are one and the same.” As the doors shut, Unicron sat on his throne. He then thought about what he wanted in the more immediate future, then picked up the phone and dialed a number. He heard ringing. “A nice pizza should do me some good,” he mused to himself. Someone then picked up. “…Yeah, sure, I can hold,” Unicron said in response to the recipient’s request. He waited for a few seconds, then someone else took the call over. “Yes, I’d like to place an order for delivery. …Unicron. …Come on, it’s been…yes, that’s me! I’d like the usual large. …You guys offer stuffed crust now?! I’ll take that! …Yeah, add some breadsticks to that and a 2 liter. …Chaos Cola, I’ve got a sponsorship with them. …30 minutes or it’s free? SPLENDID!” He cackled as he hung up. Just then, the doorbell rang. He made his way to the front door and opened it to see the delivery girl from the pizzeria. “…That’s impressive speed.” He handed her the cash, with a sizeable tip, and then headed back inside to eat his food.