Rokalla was on a bed in a local hospital. His legs were gone, and his eye and ear were missing, thanks to Yamta’s torture. His other eye was closed, and he was breathing shallowly. Arsha was sitting near his other ear, trying to get him to wake up. “Admiral?” she asked. “…Sir, it’s me. It’s Arsha.” It was taking every scrap of willpower she had not to shake him awake after the doctors told her not to. “…Sir, we won.” No response. She then tried a real stretch of an attempt. “That fruitcake you gave me didn’t have enough gravel in it.”
“…G…l,” mumbled Rokalla. Arsha arched an eyebrow, then pressed on.
“Yeah, and it didn’t have any tomatoes in it either.”
“T…mato…hey, wait a minute!” His eye shot open, and he sat bolt upright. “I don’t put tomatoes OR gravel in my fruitOW!” He clutched his head as he became dizzy. “Oh…ONES! My head!”
“Admiral!” yelped Arsha as she handed him the painkiller potion. He drank it and gagged at the taste.
“Mordek! Couldn’t they make these things sweeter?!” He then realized something. “…Something’s wrong with my eyes! Speak up! What’s happened?! He turned to see Arsha. “…Captain Royana?!” he asked. “…Was that you doing the whole fruitcake thing?”
“Sorry, Sir, but I had to try something to get you out of it,” explained Arsha.
“Well, it got me out of that coma Yamta put me into…Yamta.” He then remembered what happened to his vision. “That’s right! She took my eye and legs! She-!”
“Can’t hurt you anymore, Sir.” Rokalla arched an eyebrow. Arsha smiled. “It’s over, Sir. The Final War…is over. We won.” Rokalla goggled in surprise.
“…No fooling?!” Arsha showed him the back of her hand as proof, as it no longer held her signature.
“I wouldn’t dare make that joke around you, Sir. Oyed, Dr. Borg, and the Realm Trinity Imperial Council are dead!” Rokalla cheered.
“STICK THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT, YAMTA! YOU FAILED IN BREAKING MY SPIRIT!” He then fell back onto the bed, letting the tears finally come and chuckling softly. “…She tried to break me! She wanted me to scream! …I stayed silent!” Arsha said nothing. Rokalla looked down at the stumps where his legs were. “…I hope she enjoyed taking my legs in that moment! It proved to be nothing more than a small, fleeting moment!” They stayed there in silence. “…I’m gonna need prosthetic limbs soon…though I don’t know how comfortable I’ll be.”
“If you need help, the Divine Ones are there.”
“The Divine Ones were drained, hardly as great as losing limbs.”
“The draining made them as mortal and susceptible as the rest of us. Some of them lost their extremities when we rescued them from Frigandor’s elements.”
“So, they went back down the evolutionary ladder, hm?”
“Not how Mordek sees it, at least.”
“…He’s fine with being mortal?”
“He called it the best step as it meant he’s no longer running the risk of staying stagnant.”
“But he’s gonna die now.”
“He doesn’t care. He believes it’s his chance to finally live.” Rokalla smiled.
“If it wasn’t coming from you, your Highness, I’d say someone replaced Lord Mordek with a more optimistic clone.” Arsha grinned as well.
“He’s asked us to just call him Mordek now. Mr. Mordek, at most.”
“That’s gonna take some time to get used to. So, how did we win?”
“By the skin of our teeth, truth be told.”
“So, nothing out of the ordinary.” Arsha chuckled before she told him the story of how Realmfleet won. Rokalla DID arch an eyebrow in a slight bit of pain at the mention of a certain slime suit wearing woman.
“While I AM glad that the war is over and that you and your lovers are all the Champions,” he admitted, “I can’t say as I fully agree with you telling Reb it was okay to poison someone. …Speaking of which, what happened to her after our victory?”
“She resigned her Protectorate Pirate Commission,” explained Arsha. She pulled out a letter and read it aloud, mimicking Reb’s usual style of speech. “‘My DEAR Captain Royana, it was a pleasure to hand you the means of victory. But, alas, our time together must SIMPLY conclude, as must my time as a Protectorate Pirate. I took the liberty of relieving you of that ELUSIVE Royal Map you and your fellows kept a secret, thus your ancestors’ buried treasure will be ours! So, if I ever catch you or any ship belonging to that DRATTED Realmfleet of yours, my new Scarlet Stream Pirate fleet will blow you out of the sky and you will ALL perish, no chance of returning as a HORRID Revenant! Lovingly yours, the newly reinstated Admiral Rebarisal ‘Reb’ Rojam of the Scarlet Stream Pirate Fleet.’”
“Oh, perfect!” groaned Rokalla. “Now we have to get to those spots and guard the treasure! You know, the rulers of the past had them hidden away so pirates WON’T find them! Now that they have the map-!”
“You mean THIS map?” Arsha pulled out a rolled-up map from the pockets of her dress. The map was kept in a rolled state by a ribbon and a wax seal with the Realmfleet symbol on it. Rokalla grinned.
“Arsha, what did you do?” he asked. Arsha giggled as she anticipated what would befall Reb.
Back at Plunder Island Stronghold, Reb, Melgem, and the rest of the pirates under their command burned their Protectorate Pirate jackets. She then held up her Protectorate Pirate Commission letter. “Ladies and Gentlemen!” she called, “the All-realm Royals have served us well! But now, by the now mortal Divine Ones, we’re free once more!” Everyone cheered. “Come, my DARLING pirates! Let us show those stuffy, pompous fools how REAL people make money!” Her crew cheered. After that speech, she and Melgem retired to their room.
“By the now mortal Ones, it’s been too long!” sighed Melgem. He then pulled out a cylinder. “And the treasures the previous rulers left behind, oh, we’ll all retire early!” He then hugged her from behind. “You’re wicked, my crimson beauty!”
“Why, thank you, my DARLING husband!” purred Reb. She then took the cylinder. “Now, let’s see where-!” The instant she opened the cylinder’s top, laughing worms sprung out, like the kind of worms you’d get from a joke shop. Reb yelped and Melgem turned her away from the can, putting himself between his wife and the worms. Once the worms fell to the ground, still laughing, Reb’s suit gingerly extended a tendril from the main mass touching the floor and picked one of the worms up. The worm was a green one with black spots, but it had a head on one end sticking its tongue out. The head looked like a certain Kitsune/Human Blender the two pirates knew. Reb rolled her eyes. “Arsha!” she hissed.