Blackarachnia was in her new lair, setting up a Black Widow style web. She hummed to herself as she attached a new trap line from the mess above to the floor and reinforced it with another strand going up. She then went from humming to singing.
“Oh, the taste of your lips, I’m on a ride!
You’re toxic, I’m slipping under!
With a taste of a poison paradise,
I’m addicted to you, don’t you that you’re toxic?
And I love what you do, don’t you know that you’re toxic?”
“Britney Spears?” called a voice. Blackarachnia looked down to the floor to see Optimus trying to free himself from a trap line.
“I like some of her music,” replied Blackarachnia, giggling at Optimus’ attempt to break free. She dropped down from a line like Spider-man and kissed him while she was upside down.
“Er, mind letting me out of here?” asked Optimus. Blackarachnia giggled, then sprayed something on Optimus’ armor, allowing him to escape the trap line and letting him slide through the others. She set herself onto the floor, then wrapped her arms around Optimus’ shoulders.
“Do you mind helping me clean my lair?” she requested. “I could use a big, strong mech like you.” She then batted her optics.
“All right,” replied Optimus. The embrace broke and they headed off to organize the lair. Optimus found a box and managed to see the contents. “Legs,” he called to Blackarachnia, “when did you become a fan of Sailor Moon and why do you have so much Sailor Moon junk?”
“I CAN QUIT WHENEVER I WANT!” snapped Blackarachnia. “GET BACK TO WORK!”
“Fine, addict!” snarked Optimus. As he moved the box to another location, he noticed a teal glow. “Er, Lieutenant, what’s glowing in your room?”
“What color is the glow?” called Blackarachnia.
“Teal,” replied Optimus. Blackarachnia then joined Optimus and opened the door to see her Chrono-knife as the source of the glow.
“That indicates someone from another time zone’s coming here!” she yelped.
“Past? Future?” asked Optimus.
“It doesn’t tell me that,” explained Blackarachnia, “only that Vector Prime’s going to have a quantum fubar to clean up.” The glow then faded. “Okay, now we gotta figure out…” She was interrupted by a scream. The two Autobots raced over to find…a rather hilarious sight. Vector Prime was in vehicle mode and tangled up in Blackarachnia’s trip lines. The two young bots laughed as Vector Prime tried to transform in the mess.
“It’s not funny!” snapped Vector Prime. “Get me down!”
“I got you, my Prime,” giggled Blackarachnia. She sprayed his armor down with the same stuff she sprayed Optimus with and Vector Prime fell to the floor. Optimus couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Laugh it up, young one!” grumbled Vector Prime as he transformed to robot mode.
“My Prime,” interjected Blackarachnia, “my Chrono-knife glowed teal. I think you have a quantum fubar to deal with.”
“Since I authorized three time-travelers from the future to come to this time,” replied Vector Prime, “I already took care of any potential problems.”
“You let people from the future go to their past?!” yelped Optimus. “But I thought…!”
“I know I wrote my views on time travel in the Covenant of Primus,” interrupted Vector Prime, “but their time-zone, your future, was too ghastly. It needs to change. One of them is currently with Megatron. The other two will be with you shortly. However, I’d watch out for one of them. He seems a little…off.”
“Well, we better find our time-travelers before the Decepticons do,” declared Optimus. “Thanks for the heads-up, Vector Prime.”
“My pleasure,” replied Vector Prime before he summoned a teal portal and went into it.
“If he’s authorizing time-travel,” muttered Blackarachnia, “the future must affect even the other Primes.”
“We better find our new friends and fast!” remarked Optimus.
“Teletraan, we need a bridge back to base,” Blackarachnia called.
“Coming up,” replied Teletraan. A Ground Bridge opened and they returned to base. Optimus then switched the comms on.
“Autobots, Blackarachnia and I just had a little chat with Vector Prime,” he announced. “We’ve got three time-travelers, one already found by the Cons and the other two needing to come to us. We’ve all had drills for this, so it’s time to start looking for temporal anomalies and chroniton radiation. That is all.” At the end of the call, Jazz and Sonic came in.
“Time-travelers?” asked Jazz. “Do we know which era?”
“From a ghastly future, according to Vector Prime,” explained Blackarachnia. “So ghastly that he allowed time-travel.”
“So, it’s time to enact all protocols relating to this kind of thing,” declared Optimus.
“You guys have protocols for time-travel shenanigans?” asked Sonic in disbelief.
“Well, one of our demi-gods IS the Guardian of Time,” replied Blackarachnia, “so, why not?”
“I just feel like you guys are needlessly protocol-driven nowadays,” muttered Sonic.
“Sonic, I don’t know if you remember,” remarked Optimus, “but we ARE at war! While I don’t like him, Tower IS right in one respect: we need some form of procedure to keep focused.” Just then, music started playing. “…the Frack?”
“It ain’t me!” yelped Teletraan.
“Is that…Redbone?” asked Jazz.
“Come and Get Your Love, I think,” remarked Blackarachnia. The lyrics confirmed it.
“Hail! (Hail!)
What’s the matter with your head? Yeah!”
“There’s someone in the underground storage!” reported Teletraan.
“Show us!” ordered Optimus. The screen showed the underground storage with an unknown Transformer dancing.
“Hail! (Hail!)
What’s the matter with your mind,
And your sign an-a, oh-oh-oh?!” The bot was red with a yellow flame design and had a fancy yellow spoiler fashioned into a set of wings. He had three exhaust pipes on his arms travelling all the way up to the shoulders.
“Oh, Primus, no!” groaned Optimus.
“Why one of them?!” wailed Blackarachnia.
“I didn’t call Velocitron!” yelped Jazz. The bot was still dancing.
“Hail! (Hail!)
Nothin’ the matter with your head!
Baby, find it, come on and find it!”
“Who is he?” asked Sonic. Optimus drew in a breath before answering.
“Hail, with it baby,
‘Cause you’re fine,
And you’re mine, and you look so divine!”
“A Velocitronian!” Optimus finally answered. At that point, the bot grabbed a spare tool and started using it like a microphone!
“Come and get your love!
Come and get your love!
Come and get your love!
Come and get your love!”
“Teletraan, stop the music!” ordered Optimus. The music cut off, but the Velocitronian continued dancing and singing.
“Hail! (Hail!) What’s the…huh?” He then noticed the music had stopped. “HEY!” he called. “What’s the idea?!” Optimus activated the comms to the storage area.
“Get your aft up here!” he snarled.
“Hey, Prime-boy!” called the bot.
“That’s Optimus to you, hot shot!” snapped Optimus. The bot flinched, then ran out of the room at an incredible speed!
“Did he just…?” spluttered Sonic.
“The bots of Velocitron,” explained Optimus, “live for speed.”
“..Sounds like a little slice of heaven to me!” chuckled Sonic. The bot appeared with a snarl on his face.
“It’s…Hot…ROD!” he growled. “Don’t mistake me for that slow-as-scrap stooge!”
“Hot Rod?” asked Jazz. “As in, Hot Rod, the new co-host from Alien Hunt!?”
“Hey, someone’s seen our streams!” cheered the bot, Hot Rod.
“Alien Hunt!?” asked Blackarachnia. “I thought that was cancelled.”
“It’s back on!” explained Jazz.
“Er, could someone explain what’s going on?” asked Sonic.
“Alien Hunt! is a live-show,” answered Optimus, “where the hosts find aliens and explain the myths and legends around them and then find the facts. It was originally just hosted by two Autobots, Meteorfire and Cosmos. After the incident with the Alovan Meteor, it was cancelled by order of the Black Block Consortia, the peace-keepers of the Galactic Council.”
“Well, it’s back on! Meteorfire and Cosmos took me under their wing,” continued Hot Rod, “and we’re pursuing the biggest story of all time, right here on Earth!”
“Mobius,” corrected Optimus. “Hot Rod, I’m gonna level with you right now, we’ve got three time-travelers from our future. As long as you and your friends are here, you’re going to remain on call. Last I checked, Velocitron was still an Autobot ally.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll help out,” replied Hot Rod. Just then, a portal opened up, revealing a figure stepping through. “What in the name of the Speedia 500?!” yelped Hot Rod. The figure came out of the portal as it shut, revealing an older-looking Hot Rod. This one looked grim-faced and battle-scarred and was more bulky than the original Hot Rod.
“Are you one of the time-travelers?” asked Optimus.
“I am,” replied the older Hot Rod. “I am Hot Rod from 50 years later, your successor, Optimus Prime.”
“…This annoyance?!” yelped Optimus as he pointed to Hot Rod. “He’s gonna replace me in your timeline?!”
“If unaltered, that IS how the future will proceed,” confirmed the older Hot Rod. “You will die in an attempt to take down Megatron, only to succeed in taking his right arm. He then learns more about dark magic and restores his arm with Dark Energon-based crystal mail, making him my enemy once you passed the Matrix on to my younger self. I accepted the Matrix, reluctantly, and became what I am now. I am Rodimus Prime, and I’m here to save the future.”
“…So COOL!” cheered Hot Rod. “Alien Hunt!’s got a whole hashtag dedicated to time-travel shenanigans!”
“I forgot how poor my attention span was,” sighed Rodimus. He then returned his gaze to Optimus. “Have you enacted all time-travel protocols?”
“I gave the order a minute before Hot Rod appeared on our sensors,” explained Optimus. “Vector Prime told me and Blackarachnia that there are three time-travelers. Who are the other two?”
“Megatron’s future self, called Galvatron,” replied Rodimus, “and a young, psychokinetic hedgehog named Silver. By now, Galvatron should be telling Megatron about this.”
“Then we need to find Silver,” declared Optimus. “Come with me, we need to plan out a search for Silver.”
“Make sure you drop by my new quarters for an Alien Hunt! interview with me and my mentors!” called Hot Rod. “Man, the amount of clicks we’ll get!” Rodimus rolled his optics as he followed Optimus. “…What?” asked Hot Rod.