Phury was being fanned in her throne room and being fed fruit as she lounged on her chair. “Angarr,” she called, “where’s Amavorte? She’s supposed to bring me to my opponent.”
“I don’t know, my Queen,” answered Angarr.
“…Well, I suppose that’s the default for you males,” sighed Phury.
“I find that males and females both function better when both are treated as equals,” called Amavorte’s voice. She was right behind the Appoplexian fanning Phury.
“Do you NEED to do that?!” snapped Phury.
“Chizarans prefer to be unexpected in some capacity,” replied Amavorte. “Your opponent is ready.”
“As am I,” purred Phury. Yellow-green light enveloped the two ladies and they appeared in After Academy’s gym. Megumi had exchanged her usual outfit for workout clothes.
“I hope you’re ready to answer for your men’s crimes,” growled Megumi.
“You’re the one who has committed a crime against one of my men,” hissed Phury, “thus insulting me.” The two ladies took their places on opposite corners of the ring and Megumi turned into Tora-Onna. Amavorte took to the center of the ring as a camera appeared.
“I am Amavorte,” she announced, “the yellow-green princess of Chizara and the earth leader. Representing her new home of 8-3-Y-0-N-D-C-1-T-Y and a permanent student of the multiverse’s leading educational institute, After Academy, we have Megumi Hishikawa with home-turf advantage! Representing G-W-3-N-1-0, we have Queen Phury of Appoplexia! This bout is a test of physical strength. Both of them will fight in this ring until one of the opponents is thrown out of the ring. No weapons may be used and Megumi must stay in her currently fuzzy state as Tora-Onna. Tora-Onna, are you ready?”
“Let me at her!” growled Tora-Onna.
“Queen Phury, are you ready?” asked Amavorte.
“Always. That’s a female Appoplexian’s default,” purred Phury. Amavorte then swung her hand down.
“Hajime!” (Begin!) she announced as she teleported out of the ring. The yellow-green flash distracted Tora-Onna just enough to allow Phury to slam her fist into Tora-Onna’s face. Tora-Onna was rendered dizzy by the punch and couldn’t regain her vision fast enough. Phury kept punching her opponent at every available open spot before flooring her. Phury stomped over to Tora-Onna, ready to pick her up and throw her out of the ring, when Tora-Onna caught Phury’s foot as it was coming down and pushed it up, causing Phury to fall and hit the floor hard. Tora-Onna then flung her opponent headfirst into the pole holding the ropes, making Phury just as dizzy as Tora-Onna was. Unfortunately, Phury recovered quickly and grabbed Tora-Onna’s hand and flung her over the ropes! Tora-Onna hit the floor hard.
“MEGUMI!” called Richard.
“NO!” shouted Arsha.
“That can’t be legal!” protested Optimus.
“YOU defeated Vortech?” scoffed Phury as Tora-Onna picked herself up and turned back into Megumi. “You must have relied on your minions too much.”
“They’re not my minions!” hissed Megumi. “They’re my friends! My power!”
“And your weakness, if the rumors about you going against War are any indication,” purred Phury. “Amavorte, I don’t believe there was a round limit.”
“No, that wasn’t agreed upon,” sighed Amavorte. “It’s understood that you only needed one round. This contest is over. The winner is…!”
“STOP!” shouted a voice. Angarr stormed in, madder than ever. “PHURY, I OUGHT TO SHRED YOUR CLOTHES, YOU SAND-COVERED CHEATER!”
“I beg your pardon!” snarled Phury. “What did you call me?!”
“YOU HEARD ME!” roared Angarr. “LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, QUEEN PHURY, DISGRACED LEADER OF APPOPLEXIA…!”
“I WILL NOT!” shouted Phury. “GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I…!”
“HOLD ON!” called Amavorte. “General Angarr, why did you call Phury a cheater?”
“BECAUSE I FOUND A PILE OF NIP OUTSIDE HER DOOR!” explained Angarr.
“…And, ‘nip’ is…?” quizzed Megumi.
“Catnip,” elaborated Amavorte. “The Appoplexian equivalent of the human drug called ‘speed’. General Angarr, what more proof do you have that Phury took nip?”
“HER DOCTOR TOLD ME SO!” answered Angarr. “LET ME AT HER! I’LL MAKE SURE SHE’S COVERED IN SAND FOREVER!”
“I will not stand here and be insulted by a male!” snarled Phury. “I’ve taken no drugs! Megumi must have planted some to try and hide the fact that she took some!”
“I most certainly did not!” argued Megumi. “Have the best doctors check me over! They’ll find no drugs in me!”
“The only way to settle this,” declared Amavorte, “is to have your doctors check you over and send us the results while your respective police forces search your living spaces.”
“I am Queen of Appoplexia and will not be subjected to this brand of barbarism!” roared Phury.
“Since the Chizarans are god-like,” requested Megumi, “ and in the interest of fairness, I must ask that you have YOUR doctors check us over and YOUR police search our living quarters.”
“…I shall have to obtain the warrants for both,” replied Amavorte, “but I believe that you’re speaking as a woman with nothing to hide. That doesn’t mean you are exempt, but I believe your words.”
“Megumi,” stammered Phury, “I think it best for both of us if I go with you. I formally request asylum.”
“I will certainly grant you asylum,” answered Megumi, “when you have been absolved of this crime.” She headed to the locker room to change back into her dress.
“The nerve of her!” snarled Richard. “Accusing you of drug-usage! I ought to smack her! I’ll declaw her, that’s what I’ll do!”
“The best way to disgrace an Appoplexian, from what I’ve read,” mused Megumi, “is to destroy their clothes. Appoplexians consider their sense of shame to be the most highly advanced in the universe.”
“…You shouldn’t be condoning what I say in anger,” Richard remarked.
“I’m a grown woman and an immortal,” argued Megumi. “I’ll condone whatever I damn please.” The two then heard a knock on the door. “That must be the Chizaran Police.” Richard headed to the door and found men and women in yellow-green police outfits. One of the officers handed Richard a search warrant with Legowltor’s signature on it.
“You guys must place this case very high on your priority list if you’ve got Legowltor to authorize this,” mused Richard. “Please, come in.” He stood aside and allowed the Chizaran officers into the house. Every nook and cranny was checked and rechecked ten times over with Megumi and Richard watching them closely in case someone decided to plant evidence. There was another knock on the door. “Now who could that be?” asked Richard.
“Hopefully, Amartonadii with Megumi’s drug test results,” replied an officer. Another officer opened the door and it was Amartonadii as predicted. “Well?” asked the first officer.
“Not even a milligram of any drug of any kind,” reported Amartonadii.
“We haven’t found anything that would implicate her either,” answered a third officer.
“We’re done here,” called the first officer. “Clean this place up.” The Chizaran officers and Amartonadii snapped their fingers and the house looked as it did before the officers searched the place. “Thank you for your cooperation,” bid the first officer as everyone left in both yellow and yellow-green lights.
“Goddamn, having your house searched is tense, even when the officers are good and you’re innocent!” shuddered Richard.
“I’m feeling a little stressed myself,” gulped Megumi.
“I’ll make us some tea and strawberries,” offered Richard.
“I’ll make whipped cream to go with it,” sighed Megumi as their lives were coming back into order.
The investigation had ended and Amavorte had called both Phury and Megumi to the ring in After Academy’s gym. She paced in front of the pair of them. “I suppose you know the warrants authorized us to check other records as well,” she began. Both Megumi and Phury nodded. Phury had a smug look on her face for some odd reason. “Both of your records say that neither of you purchased any form of drugs. Megumi, I believe your records are accurate.”
“As are mine,” chuckled Phury.
“Normally, I WOULD believe that,” hissed Amavorte. “I would say your records were accurate…if they didn’t have evidence of Galvan levels of TAMPERING!” Phury gasped when she realized she was found out! “PHURY OF APPOPLEXIA, ANGARR WAS RIGHT! YOU HAVE CHEATED!”
“Wait, my princess!” begged Phury. “I can explain…!”
“No, you can’t!” shouted Amavorte. “As far as I’m concerned, no explanation will save you! Article 2 of the General Rules of Combat: no chemical enhancements are accepted unless it is determined that they need such enhancements to survive! You were determined not to need them! How dare you attempt to deceive us!”
“That wand is mine! I will not allow failure to stain me again!” argued Phury, dropping her façade of civility.
“Well, this was a poor way to win!” snarled Amavorte. “Megumi will be the one going to the final round while YOU will fight Optimus over Third Place Prize! If you DO win, the prize will be delivered to you in a year’s time, relative to your universe’s time-scale!”
“YOU CAN’T DENY ME THE MASTER WAND!” roared Phury.
“CAN AND WILL!” Amavorte roared back. “Quite frankly, I cannot begin to describe my disgust at you! Break another rule and you will not be welcomed back to the Verse Vs. Verse Rumble Royale!” She snapped her fingers and they all went back to their respective homes. Megumi met with Arsha and Optimus in the Gateway Room.
“Well, that sours the experience,” muttered Arsha.
“Why would she go that far?” quizzed Optimus.
“Maybe she’s sick of her losses,” guessed Megumi. “In any case, sorry for saddling you with a cheater, Prime.”
“I’ll teach her to cheat!” promised Optimus. Just then, R9 rushed past everyone.
“Whoa!” yelped Arsha. “Hey! R9! Where’s the fire?!”
“Dudes! What are you doing standing around for?!” called R9. Kit-10 then came up to them. “Kit-10, did you confirm it? I don’t want this to be like the retirement home on Tarlax! I think one of the old ladies from it is stalking me!”
“It’s confirmed!” reported Kit-10. “I’ve also received corroboration from Discornia about strange dimensional rifts!”
“Then we need the Brigadier with us to coordinate things!”
“Er, are we having a major processor-trip here?” asked Optimus. “What am I missing?”
“Prime, we need the Autobots’ help on this!” continued R9. “I’ll call in that favor Megatron and his allies owe us after saving their lives!” He contacted Megatron.
“Ah, R9-D7, correct?” greeted Megatron. “What can I do for you?”
“Dude, we’re calling in that favor!” announced R9.
“Let me hear it from Optimus!” snapped Megatron.
“Would someone explain to us what’s going on?!” called Megumi.
“We found them!” replied Kit-10.
“Who?!” quizzed Arsha.
“Mickey! Caan! Eggman!” elaborated Kit-10. “We’ve found them! They’re fighting Metaltron and that Cyberman version of Usagi!”
“…Well, Megatron,” mused Optimus, “looks like R9’s right. We ARE calling in that favor.”
“All I need to help you out,” declared Megatron, “are the Nemesis, the Scorpion, and the remainder of the Shocker Rift fleet.”
“We’ll get you there,” offered Megumi, “then bring you and your ships over to Caan’s location. R9, give the coordinates to the Brigadier. Megatron, rally your men. We’ll meet you there.”
“See you then,” replied Megatron. The call ended and Megumi made a general broadcast.
“Everyone, prepare for battle!” she called. “Caan has been located! Repeat, Caan has been located! Assemble in the Gateway Room for a plan of attack!”
“All Autobots, this is Optimus!” declared Prime. “We’re getting in on this fight too! Assemble in the Gateway Room!”
“Endeavor, this is the Captain!” announced Arsha. “Assemble in the Gateway Room! We’re participating in this fight as well!”
“War!” called Skyfall. “We’ve got him! Caan’s been located!”
“Excellent!” cheered War. She made a broadcast to all ships. “We move out! Caan will not escape us and Mickey will answer for his betrayal!” Quake Hammer thumped his console in rhythm and started singing.
“Qoy qeylIs puqloD. (Hear! Sons of Kahless.)
Qoy puqbe’pu’. (Hear! Daughters too.)
yoHbogh matlhbogh je SuvwI’ (The blood of battle washes clean)” By then, Skyfall and War had joined in.
“Say’moHchu’ may’ ‘Iw. (The Warrior brave and true.)
maSuv manong ‘ej maHoHchu’. (We fight, we love, and then we kill.)
nI’be’ yInmaj ‘ach wovqu’. (Our lives burn short and bright,)
batlh maHeghbej ‘ej yo’ qIjDaq vavpu’ma’ DImuv. (Then we die with honor and join our fathers)
pa’ reH maSuvtaHqu’. (In the Black Fleet where we battle forever,)
mamevQo’. maSuvtaH. Ma’ov. (battling on through the Eternal fight.)”