Skyfall and Quake Hammer approached the makeshift office the F.N.S had constructed for Optimus during the break. If they had the ability to sweat, they would be doing so right now. “I’m gonna get stripped of the Autobrand, I just know it,” gulped Skyfall.
“Whatever happens,” assured Quake Hammer, “you have my aid and support.” They found the office and knocked on the door.
“Come in,” called Optimus’ voice. They entered the office and found him sitting at his desk. “Ah, Skyfall, Quake Hammer. I’ve been expecting you.”
“Sir, before you strip me of the Autobrand, I need to say this,” declared Skyfall. “You can’t argue with the results! I did what I felt was necessary to stop evil!”
“Lieutenant…” interjected Optimus.
“War was simply trying to protect the multiverse!” continued Skyfall. “You can’t fault her for that!”
“Lieutenant Skyfall!” snapped Optimus.
“I’m not going to stand by and…” Skyfall went on.
“I’M NOT STRIPPING YOU OF THE AUTOBRAND! PRIMUS!” shouted Optimus.
“…You’re not?” asked Skyfall.
“No!” replied Optimus. “I’m giving you a job as head of the Cybertronian Interdimensional Affairs Department.”
“When did Cybertron get such a department?” inquired Quake Hammer.
“Just a few hours ago,” answered Optimus. “In short, you’ll be the first line of defense if an extradimensional threat tries to take a stab at us. You’ll need to work closely with the F.N.S and keep us informed on a weekly basis. Now, with the job comes a promotion. All I need from you is a simple yes or no answer. Do you accept?” Skyfall’s Spark swelled with pride.
“…It’s been an honor to work directly with you, Sir,” thanked Skyfall. “I accept.”
“Then here’s your new commission letter!” declared Optimus as he handed her a pad. “Congratulations, Captain Skyfall!”
“Thank you, Sir!” bid Skyfall as they shook hands.
“Now, of course, given the current situation on Cybertron,” directed Optimus, “you’re not allowed to give Quake Hammer any information.”
“Understood, Sir,” confirmed Skyfall.
“As long as we understand each other,” replied Optimus. “Dismissed.” Skyfall saluted, then she and Quake Hammer left. Once the door shut, Quake Hammer kissed her on the lips. Skyfall didn’t offer any resistance as she kissed back.
“Congratulations, sweetie!” cheered Quake Hammer. “You’ve more than earned this!”
“I was a bit worried back there,” chuckled Skyfall. “Looks like Optimus really wanted to make it up to me.”
“Well, I’d say he did,” mused Quake Hammer. “Let us celebrate!”
Megumi was in her house, waking up from a much-needed nap. As she stretched, she lazily flicked the t.v. on. As usual, the first image was of Richard making his news broadcast. With the initial resistance of wearing his new dress having worn off a while ago, he looked a lot more comfortable in it. Megumi appeared to have caught him as he just began the broadcast. “Good afternoon,” he began. “Welcome to Multiverse News Network. I am Richard Saunders and we begin our segment with an update on the Convergence. All people that have ended up in different universes have been returned with no harm done. The universes have been identified as T-R-4-N-5-F-0-R-M-3-R-5-M-0-8-1-4-N-C-H-R-0-N-1-C-L-3-5 and T-H-3-T-H-R-3-3-R-3-4-L-M-5. Sheesh, there’s a mouthful.” He cleared his throat and returned to the news. “This is not the first time that T-R… Transformers: Mobian Chronicles has been involved in multiversal affairs. Indeed, a denizen of that universe, a version of Sonic the Hedgehog, has helped the Vortex Riders out on more than one occasion during the Vortech Wars. We simply had no idea there were Transformers in that universe. The Convergence has officially ended, but the 3V2R is still in effect. We’re still in a period of rest, but it WILL be back on within the next two years for our universe. In other news, a medical breakthrough has been made! The cure for the common cold has just been discovered! Here to tell us all about it is the eminent Dr. Alex Vansider!”
“Go, Dr. Vansider!” cheered Megumi. An elderly man came onto the screen.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!” called the man in a heavy German accent.
“Welcome, Doctor!” greeted Richard as they shook hands. “I understand this breakthrough is the result of thirty years of concentrated research.”
“Ja, it was,” confirmed Dr. Vansider. “I’m surprised it took me and my team that long because the answer was actually right under our noses! Can you believe that?”
“Can you tell us what to do?” asked Richard.
“Of course!” answered Dr. Vansider. “Oh, I can’t tell you how excited I am! First, the easiest step for introverts, stay away from sick people!”
“As you said, an easy step for introverts,” chuckled Richard.
“Step two,” continued Dr. Vansider, “is to wrap your head in a paper bag. Next, you pour hot coffee over yourself. Last, hold your breath for about a minute.”
“And this will cure the common cold?” asked Richard incredulously.
“Positively!” cheered Dr. Vansider. He then unleashed a loud torrent of sneezing. “Then again…” groaned the doctor as he wiped his nose.
“Well, thank you, Dr. Vansider,” bid Richard as he returned to his audience. “Remember, whenever big news breaks….you certainly won’t find it here.” Megumi had switched the t.v. off by then. She then remembered something.
“Tarantula feeding time,” she muttered to herself. As she went to get a fat cricket for her new Tarantula, she heard a noise. “…The vacuum cleaner?” she quizzed. She followed the noise to see a six-armed woman with a fuzzy spider’s rear and wearing a maid’s outfit. The woman was vacuuming the living room floor. “HEY!” shouted Megumi. The woman looked up as if there was nothing strange going on.
“Oh, hello, Madam Megumi,” she greeted. “Are you fully relaxed?”
“I was,” answered Megumi, “but then a strange woman entered my house and started doing my chores! Who are you and where did you come from?!”
“You don’t recognize me?” asked the woman. “I’m a little surprised. You DID buy me from that pet shop a while ago.”
“…No, I bought a Mexican Red-kneed Tarantula,” corrected Megumi.
“Yeah, me,” insisted the woman. Then she did something extraordinary! She shrunk and her limbs reformed themselves into spider legs while her head sunk into her torso, her eyes split into eight and bunched together while spider chelicerae sprouted from her mouth and pedipalps grew near the fangs. The woman had turned into a Mexican Red-kneed Tarantula and waved her pedipalp towards an empty cage where the spider Megumi bought once lived.
“…I bought a shape-shifter?” Megumi muttered. The spider then turned back into the woman and giggled.
“You can call me Lisa,” introduced the woman, “your new live-in maid!”
“Maid?!” yelped Megumi. “Wait a minute! What do you mean ‘maid’?!”
“Isn’t it obvious?” asked Lisa. “You’re gonna need help in keeping the house in order, especially since both you and Richard are working.”
“My house is just fine!” argued Megumi. “Besides, I haven’t had a maid my entire life. I don’t need one and, to be frank, I don’t WANT one.” Lisa’s face fell when she heard that. “Look, I’ll talk to the shop owner and explain what happened. Maybe he can get me a…”
“I’m not going back to that hell-hole!” hissed Lisa.
“Pardon?” asked Megumi.
“All my life, I spent my life in a cage!” explained Lisa. “I was denied my natural shape-shifting abilities as a Morphus Tarantula.”
“Wait a minute, he told me he never deals in your breed,” recalled Megumi.
“That’s a lie!” argued Lisa.
“So, he locks you all in your spider form?” asked Megumi.
“Uh huh,” confirmed Lisa.
“Right then,” muttered Megumi, “I think the police need to hear about this!”
“…but has assured us that future cases of furniture changing into monsters won’t be possible,” Richard continued on the news broadcast. Arsha and her spouses were watching. “…This just in, Mr. Harry Boomer, the owner of the Frightful Delights Exotic Pet Shop has just been arrested on charges of slave trading! It appears my wife had discovered that the Mexican Red-kneed Tarantula she bought a while ago was actually a Morphus Tarantula locked in her spider form. After Megumi reported the circumstances to the police, a task force obtained a warrant and tested all of the Tarantulas Mr. Boomer sells. It was discovered that over 65% of the Tarantulas were, in fact, Morphus Tarantulas. Native to one of Tarlax’s moons, Arachnus, the Tarlaxian government has long been against the sale of these spiders, considering it an act of slavery. Mr. Boomer’s trial is set for Monday and he is currently looking at a life sentence. That is all from Multiverse News Network. Good night.” The broadcast ended and Arsha switched the t.v. off.
“Just when you think slavery IS impossible in some part of the multiverse!” sighed Gorfanth.
“I wonder what’s going to happen to the shapeshifter?” quizzed Falnii.
“I hope she can go back to her people,” wished Malnar.
“Megumi told me about her,” remarked Arsha. “She’s asked to be Megumi’s live-in maid.”
“Why?” asked Lardeth.
“She’s not too fond of her people either,” explained Arsha. “Megumi’s thinking about it right now.”
“Well, for the spider’s sake, I hope she says yes,” sighed Foresna.
A few days had passed and everyone, even the Autobots, Endeavor crew, and Chizaran princesses, was gathering at Castle Nerd Skull for a celebration. The reason was known to all except Megumi. “Okay, don’t get me wrong,” Megumi whispered to Richard, “I like a party as much as anyone else, but I’d like to know the reason for it.”
“All in good time,” assured Richard.
“There she is!” called Rosadera. She and the other Princesses accosted her with hugs.
“Well now,” chuckled Megumi. “What’s the occasion?”
“Nothing special as of yet,” replied Moradelia. “Just greeting a friend.”
“I know we’re still a ways off,” mused Verdutha, “but have you and Arsha decided on your bout terms?”
“We’re thinking of a simple race,” answered Megumi. “My motorcycle against her broomstick.”
“That seems a tad unfair,” remarked Azuliterii.
“She’s modifying it so that it will remain level with my bike,” assured Megumi.
“And the race course will be?” asked Rojenthi.
“Arsha said she’d be speaking with Sonic on that one,” replied Megumi. “They’re still hammering out the options.”
“We’ll have to talk to her later, then,” mused Rosadera.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” called Richard as he and Lisa flanked a door, “it gives Lisa and I great pleasure to reveal the meaning of this party to Megumi.”
“So, you DID hire Lisa,” Arsha commented to Megumi.
“On the stipulation that we ALL share in the house work,” explained Megumi. “Hey, did you know the reason behind all this too?”
“We all do,” answered Arsha.
“Megumi Hishikawa, my lovely wife,” continued Richard, “tell me, do you know what day it is?”
“The day?” muttered Megumi. “It’s, er, Sunday, right?”
“I meant the actual day of the month,” replied Richard.
“Hold on,” called Megumi as she checked her phone. She got a good look at the date and her face lit up in surprise. “July 26?!” she yelped. “You mean this is all a…?!” Lisa and Richard opened the door as Moe, Larry, and Curly, in chef’s attire, wheeled in a large cake with 25 candles on it! Moe and Larry played a fanfare on imaginary trumpets, then all three started singing.
“We baked you a birthday cake!” began Moe.
“If you get a tummy ache,” continued Larry.
“And you moan and groan and woe,” supplied Curly.
“Don’t forget, we told you so!” finished the Stooges all together.
“Happy Birthday, Megumi Hishikawa!” cheered Richard.
“Oh, thank you!” called Megumi. “Thank you all! I…wait, you three baked this?”
“I oversaw the whole thing,” assured Lisa. “It’s a normal chocolate cake.” Megumi released a breath.
“Go on, make a wish!” urged Richard. Megumi shut her eyes as she wished. She then took in a breath and blew out the candles!
“All right!” cheered Lisa. “Now then, Birthday Girl, you pick out your slice.”
“I’ll take a corner,” declared Megumi.
“It’s always the corners or the sides with you, I’ve noticed,” mused Richard.
“They have the right balance of frosting and cake,” replied Megumi. Everyone got their slices as the dessert table was rolled out. As everyone already had the healthy stuff, it was time for the sweets, suitable for all diets. The Stooges had changed into formal suits and joined the guests. Curly managed to sneak a whole pie off the dessert table and went to a corner to eat it all. Moe saw the whole thing and grabbed Curly’s collar.
“You featherbrained imbecile!” he hissed. “You wanna get us thrown out?! Gimme that pie!” He took the pie and shoved Curly away. Curly barked in protest. “GO ON!” shouted Moe as he shoved Curly harder. Curly left and Moe looked for a decent hiding place for the pie.
“I tell you; they’ve cleaned up nicely since Curly won the 1,897th 3V2R,” remarked Amartonadii’s voice.
“Well, I simply MUST speak with them,” answered Sira’s voice. Moe flung the pie up to the ceiling and it stuck itself there. Moe looked up in horror. “Oh, there’s one of them now,” called Sira’s voice. “Excuse me, My Lady.” Sira then approached Moe. “Young Man, do tell me about yourself!”
“Well, you see…how it…er…well, that is…” stammered Moe as he glanced at the ceiling again and noticed the pie losing its grip. “If you’ll pardon me!” He tried to leave, but Sira wouldn’t hear of it.
“If you don’t tell me all about this metamorphosis,” she pleaded, “I shall always feel that I’ve missed something!” Moe glanced upward again as the pie slowly descended.
“Lady, if you don’t leave right now,” warned Moe, “you’re not gonna miss ANYTHING!” He tried to get away again, but Sira pulled him back.
“Young man, what’s wrong?” she asked. “You act as though the Sword of Damocles is hanging over your head!” Moe looked up one last time as the pie was just hanging by a thread of its contents.
“Lady, you must be psychic!” he yelped as he got away.
“I wonder what’s wrong with that young man?” Sira pondered to herself as she looked up. The pie fell from the ceiling and landed right on her face! She wiped some of the goop off of her face and flung it away. Unbeknownst to Curly, it was flying at him! He was busy talking to Amartonadii.
“And there we were,” he recalled. “In mud, up to here.” He bent over to put his hand level to his knee. Just as he ducked down, the goop that Sira wiped off of her face hit Amartonadii. She cried out in disgust. Curly got back up and saw her wiping her face off.
“Who did this?!” she wailed.
“I’ll find out!” declared Curly as he stormed off to find the perpetrator. Meanwhile, Larry was helping himself to a whole pie. Moe then tapped him on the shoulder.
“You gonna eat that by yourself?” he snapped.
“Nah,” answered Larry. “Maybe, if I wait, I’ll get some cream.”
“What kind?” asked Moe.
“Ice,” replied Larry.
“You got it!” snarled Moe as he shoved ice cubes down Larry’s back. Larry screamed as the frigid cubes chilled his back almost instantly. He instinctively tossed the pie away in Megumi, Richard, and Lisa’s direction.
“Drink, Your Majesties?” asked Lisa. The pie then hit Lisa in the face. Richard and Megumi looked behind to see Larry dancing to get the ice cubes out.
“Oh, monkey with us, huh?!” hissed Richard. War approached Larry and Moe.
“Stop it!” she demanded. “Stop it this instant! You disgraceful vagabonds!” Moe responded by pie-ing her! “…So, you want to play rough, do you?! Well then!” she grabbed a pie and reeled back for a throw!
“Wait a minute!” begged Moe as he ducked when War threw. The pie hit Arsha’s face.
“…So, that’s the game!” she declared as she fired off a pie shot at War. Unfortunately, Prowl’s holo-form was trying to step between the two and took the shot. Optimus saw the shot!
“Oh, mutiny, eh?!” called Optimus. His holo-form took a pie and flung it at Arsha. She took the hit, then moved her hairpiece to her waist.
“All hands to battle stations!” she announced, prompting her crew to rally to her.
“Form up!” called Megumi as her friends armed themselves with pies, minus Lisa.
“Autobots, attack!” ordered Optimus as the Autobots and their Mobian and human allies readied themselves. Soon, the Great Pie War began! Pies were flying through the air at an incredible rate!
“THIS MUST CEASE!” demanded Lisa. She was then pied by Ironhide. “…Well then!” she declared as she armed herself and joined Megumi’s side. Perceptor flung a pie at Moe’s face.
“Hey, fellas!” called Moe as he took off his suspenders and put them between his feet like a slingshot. Curly loaded a pie into the slingshot and Larry surveyed the field.
“Elevation: two meters,” he relayed. “Range: two and a half meters. Ready, aim, FIRE!” Moe released his end and the pie sailed through the air. It hit Gorfanth right in the face. “That was a shot, boy!” cheered Larry. As the battle wore on, all factions were getting tired. Soon, they all exhausted themselves of ammunition and surveyed the mess the hangar had become. Megumi stared in silence for a minute, then began chuckling, then giggling, then she was laughing!
“BEST! BIRTHDAY! EVER!” she cheered. Everyone else joined in the laughter as Megumi let herself fall backwards onto the goopy mess that covered the floor.
“Happy Birthday, sweetheart,” bid Richard. He and Megumi then kissed.