Kamen Rider Vortex Kamen Rider Vortex Chapters

Chapter 15

Dear Lord, can this day…no, shouldn’t even think that. The multiverse has creative ways of making it worse. First, we end up in a rift loop, then we get a headache from a lecture of the bootstrap paradox, then we end up in a base of more elegant looking Borg, and now we’re catching our breath in a graveyard, trying to pursue a giant head with an emotionless brain inside. Oh yeah, and one of the elegant Borg, the Cybermen, as they call themselves, helped us out and we met another Kamen Rider with a space shuttle motif. The Cyberman that helped us came to me. “Are you all right, young lady?” he asked in that same synthesized man’s voice that changed tone and showed emotion.

“Not really,” I answered. “I’m still reeling from that chase your people gave us. Why were they trying to kill you, anyways?”

“One,” argued the Cyberman, “they’re not my people, humanity is. Two, they don’t like individuals. You probably heard them say we’ll be like them.”

“I’d rather not,” muttered Gentarō.

“Do you have a name?” I asked.

“You might not know it, but I used to a part of the United Nations Intelligence Task force, UNIT for short,” explained the Cyberman. “Nowadays, in this time, the year 2487, I lead the Unified Nebular Intelligence Task force.”

“Ah, UNIT becomes a space army!” cheered Michael.

“It was around 2342,” continued the Cyberman. “They even let me keep my old title of Brigadier and my old codename of Greyhound One, head of my personal unit in UNIT, the Growling Greyhounds.”

“Wait,” interrupted Michael, “were you knighted for your service in the early 2000’s?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact,” confirmed the Cyberman. “Why? Do you know me?”

“In my world, you and your adventures with the Doctor were a work of fiction,” replied Michael.

“Then tell me, what was my wish and was it fulfilled?” asked the Cyberman.

“Your wish was to see your old friend and scientific advisor, the Doctor from Gallifrey, salute you,” explained Michael. “It was fulfilled as you took off to the skies into parts unknown. Your cybernization happened after you had died in bed. A female form of a rival of yours, the Master, now calling himself Missy and preferring female pronouns, had taken the dead of earth and made them into Cybermen. You had kept your emotions as well as a soldier called Danny Pink, who commanded the Cybermen there to self-destruct. You then saved the Doctor the trouble of shooting Missy by doing so yourself, although she survived.”

“What?!” snapped the Cyberman. “Even after she got rid of that absurd beard, she still slips away!”

“You can get her later,” assured Michael. He then turned to the rest of us. “Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present Sir Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart.”

“I AM a Brigadier again,” explained Lethbridge-Stewart as he put on decorations signifying his rank, even a metal hat. “You can call me as such.” We then explained our backstories to the Brigadier. It took a while to take in for the man, but he got the idea of the situation.

“Very well, Brigadier,” answered Michael. “Shall we pursue the Cyber-King?”

“Yeah, pursue a head through a creepy graveyard,” I moaned.

“Let’s hope the dead do not rise on this surface,” muttered Gandalf. We got up and started opening a rusty gate. A Keystone transmitter was beyond the gate. The red chroma disc was also located, but we need to release it from its prison and find the others. As we approached an area that looked like a seed was coming out, a Cyberman stomped towards us. The Brigadier dispatched it easily. “My thanks,” reciprocated Gandalf. “Let’s see, Element of earth, Brigadier!” A green aura surrounded the Brigadier.

“What on Earth?” he yelped.

“Hold your hands together and point them at the seedling,” instructed Gandalf. The Brigadier stared at the wizard for a second, then he did as instructed. The seedling moved and sprouted two platforms and a mound of earth popped up with a boulder on top. “A curious arrangement,” mused Gandalf. He used his magic to jostle the boulder out of the mound, rather explosively. It sailed towards the crypt the Cyber-King was trying to hide on and chased it away to another base. Meanwhile, Gandalf had managed to calm the mini-volcano down and jumped on the next platform to the entrance of the crypt. The Brigadier followed. “Element of water, Gandalf!” called the wizard. As the blue aura surrounded him, Gandalf doused the flames to reveal a Chroma Lock design. The left L shape was blue, the circle was yellow, and the right L shape was red. Wyldstyle had managed to jimmy the lock surrounding the red chroma disc. A statue near us fell, revealing more Cybermen. Gandalf used his magic to throw rocks at their heads and knock them inoperable. He then started a search for the rest of the chroma discs.

“Gandalf, old chap,” called the Brigadier, “I believe what you’re looking for is under that grave.” Gandalf saw the grave Lethbridge-Stewart was talking about.

“I believe this will take more than an Elvish incantation to solve,” muttered the wizard.

“Let us help,” I answered. Lukas, Emily, and I got out our i.d tags.

“Henshin!” we announced. As we became our Rider selves, we swapped out our i.d tags for Gandalf’s.

“Gandalf Steel!” called our belts. Once the wardrobe dissolved, Lethbridge-Stewart rubbed his eyes.

“This is something the Doctor would appreciate,” mused the Brigadier. We then helped Gandalf with lifting the grave out and revealing the yellow chroma disc.

“Gandalf,” I called, “I believe that the statue the Cybermen knocked over could help us, if we can get it upright.”

“I do believe you’re right!” replied Gandalf. He, Kämpfer, Touché, and I got to work and set the statue upright. It was too high for us to reach, but Hongo and Wyldstyle got up easily. There was a dark area.

“Hongo, did you bring a flashlight?” asked Wyldstyle.

“I thought you did,” replied Hongo.

“Looks like we need to bring Gandalf up here,” muttered Wyldstyle.

“How?” asked Hongo.

“Let’s just say I can see a way,” answered Wyldstyle. She then used the debris where they were to build a small UFO. It hovered over Gandalf, brought him up using a tractor beam, set him down where Hongo and Wyldstyle were, and then whizzed off into a wall, exploding into a dozen or so pieces. Gandalf then lit up the dark area and brought out the blue chroma disc. “That’s all of them!” cheered Wyldstyle. “Chroma Keystone, activate! Chroma lock, reveal! Chroma! Blue! Gandalf!” Gandalf jumped into the blue paint and landed on the left L shape. “Chroma! Red! Royal!” I headed to the red paint, jumped in it, and landed in the shape next to Gandalf. “Chroma! Yellow! Brigadier!” The Brigadier jumped in as we did and landed in the circle. As the Brigadier admired his paint job, the lock design in the crypt made its surroundings shimmer and fade. The tombstones, the gate, the crypt, the creepy gate guarding the base on the other side of the graveyard, it all faded to reveal a hologram projector. “What?!” said Wyldstyle. “This whole thing was just a hologram?! I can’t help but notice that those statues are still here though.”

“Statues?” gulped Michael, a little worried.

“What, is there a…wait, Joshua, where are you?” I called. Our strong, silent Australian wasn’t with us. We started calling out his name. A horrible thought struck me. If we left him in the Cybermen’s base, oh please tell me that’s not true!

“Someone call?” shuddered a voice. The Australian accent made me breathe easy. We turned to see Joshua looking a little pale. I told everyone else to stay put as Emily and I ran up to him.

“Josh, are you alright?” Emily asked.

“Not particularly,” he answered. “Meg, Em, what are we doing?”

“I’m…not sure I understand,” I replied, flinching at being called ‘Meg’.

“What are we doing running around the dimensions?” asked Joshua. “We’re a pack of nerds! We’re activists of basic human rights, be they for gay rights, race rights, gender rights, or educational rights! We dress up for fun! We’re not warriors! We should be critiquing plot lines of our favorite shows, not be a part of one big plot that spans other universes! We don’t even know why we’re fighting Vortech! We don’t know how to beat him, much less stand against him! All we know is that he’s gathering artefacts to make universes collide! We don’t even know if there’s one of those artefacts in our universe and if our parents have it in their possession! I…” I noticed that his right hand was shaking. “This hand has been shaking ever since our belts came to our dimension. I’m scared and I hate myself for feeling it! Part of me is screaming that my routine has been irreparably disturbed, and routine is BIG for autistic people like myself! The other part is sure that even neurotypicals would feel the same! All parts are asking why we’re the ones who are saving the multiverse!” He then shook his head. “Sorry, I just feel…”

“No worries,” Emily assured him. “We’ve all had a long day.”

“If this is taking its toll on you,” I said softly, “you could return to our universe. We could have the gateway return you home and no one will think ill of you for it.”

“I can’t do that,” argued Joshua. “My dad needs help. When people need my help, I can’t just rest easy. I’ve only lasted so long because I’ve put my energy into trying to get some answers about this mess.”

“When we get back to Vorton,” I replied, “I promise we’ll get some answers. We may not get all the answers, but we can get some.”

“You promise?” asked Joshua.

“I promise on my honor as the reigning monarch of the Feudal Nerd Society,” I swore. Joshua smiled. When I make an oath like that, it means that I will see that oath through to the end. Josh looked at his hand. It stopped shaking.

“Thank you,” said Joshua, “for everything.” He got up. “Let’s go rejoin the others.” He walked to rejoin the rest with Emily and I high-fiving each other. Score one for the princess and medic. When we reunited, we headed to the other Cyber-base and opened the doors. Well, the Brigadier did. We couldn’t get the terminal that operates the door to work, so we needed a Cyberman’s key code

“So, Brigadier, what should we expect?” asked Michael.

“Nothing, if we’re lucky,” replied the Brigadier. “The Cybermen cleared this area out about five years ago. The team that was sent to retrieve any and all machinery that was labeled sensitive disappeared though. The three investigative teams did the same when they tried to retrieve the retrieval team, so the Cyber-King we’re after declared it unsafe and warned the rest of New Mondas to stay away.”

“Creepy,” gulped Sheela. Then our vision went dim with the lights.

“Hey, who turned out the lights?” called Batman.

“Everyone still alive?” asked Michael. We all responded with a confused tone. “Okay, no psycho Vashta Nerada, then.”

“Va-what?” I muttered.

“Microscopic organisms that live in the darkness,” explained Michael. “They’ve been given the name Piranhas of the Air. They tend to eat meat and will strip their prey down to the bone, literally.”

“And, there might be some here?” gulped Joshua.

“None of the psycho kind,” assured Michael. “They would have to be starving or driven mad before they attack humans.”

“And given that we’re all alive,” guessed Gandalf, “I’d say we’re safe from these beasts.”

“Exactly,” confirmed Michael.

“Even so,” rasped Batman, “given that danger could be in the next steps we take, anything could jump out of the shadows. Be on your guard.” We tensed up and got into defensive stances. What I saw were statues.

“More statues?” I quizzed. These statues looked like human-sized angels covering their faces as if they were crying. “They look kind of lonely.” I said, taking pity.

“If they’re alive,” gulped Michael, “then their title ‘The Lonely Assassins’ is apropos.”

“Michael, you’ve said nothing but doom and gloom since we got here!” I snapped. “What’s dangerous about a statue?”

Doctor Who has an innate ability of turning something as harmless as a window dummy into a killer!” protested Michael.

“Don’t remind me,” muttered the Brigadier.

“Evil shop dummies?” quizzed Gentarō. “That’s a new one.”

“Guys,” called Wyldstyle, “I think I see some batteries to help with the lights!” There were three on the floor and we could see the slots above us that they would fit in. Gandalf put one in. The lights flickered. When they came back on, the statues were looking at us!

“Michael,” I gulped, “what are these things?”

“They’re called the Weeping Angels!” explained Michael. “They’re a race of quantum locked humanoids that only move when no one, not even members of their own species, is looking at them! The only defense is not to blink! Once they touch you, you are sent into the past and will live out the rest of your life there, losing all motivation to get back! The Angels feed off the residual time energy the displacement causes!”

“Nobody blink!” I commanded. “Surround Gandalf as he puts the batteries in!” As Gandalf put the remaining batteries in, the lights flickered to reveal the expressions on the Angels change to a vicious roaring face with clawed fingers and sharp teeth. Gandalf had put the last battery in and the lights gained that much more power but were on a continual flicker loop!

“The statues are chasing us!” yelped Wyldstyle. “And the flickering lights aren’t helping!”

“Chaps,” called the Brigadier, “the doors here are magna-sealed! I can’t get them open!”

“That terminal looks like it powers the door,” observed Batman. “We need to charge it up with that battery near it.” It was a square like battery with wheels on the bottom.

“Problem, we need to charge it!” wailed Michael.

“Let me do that,” called Wyldstyle. “Bring it over here!”

“Surround the battery!” I ordered. “Keep an eye on the Angels!” We moved with the battery so the ones pushing it won’t get caught. The flickering lights made me nervous. While we were moving, Wyldstyle had built a charger and plugged it into the battery once it was finished. It didn’t take long to charge, but an Angel was about to grab my face when we started moving again! We got the battery to the terminal near the door. The Brigadier typed in a code and got it open.

“Quickly!” he shouted. “This way!” We got into the next room and shut the door.

“What did I tell you?” snapped Michael.

“If the Cybermen that were sent here to get sensitive equipment were taken into the past,” guessed the Brigadier, “then they may face a foe greater than the Doctor.”

“We need to go deeper into the base,” I muttered. “Wyldstyle, can you find the Keystone?”

“It’s past the doors in the next room,” reported Wyldstyle, “but we need to get past the security cameras. That panel over there should turn them off.”

“Allow me,” said Gentarō. He then took out the Fourze Driver and put it on. He swapped the Launcher switch with Switch number 21.

“Stealth!” called the Driver. He then flipped the tab switches and got into his Henshin pose. “Three! Two! One!”

“Henshin!” announced Gentarō. He pulled the lever and transformed into Fourze. “Uchū KITĀĀĀĀĀ!”

“Must you do that?” asked Hongo.

“If you don’t shout about things that are awesome,” quizzed Fourze, “how can you enjoy them?” He flipped the stealth switch on.

“Stealth on!” announced the Driver. A device appeared on Fourze’s right leg that was shaped like an F-117 Nighthawk. He stomped it and turned invisible. It took five seconds for him to run into the room and pull a lever on the terminal that deactivated the cameras and opened the door. Hongo shook his head.

“I swear, I’ll never understand the Heisei Riders,” he muttered.

“We got the door open,” I mused, “I see no reason to complain.” That soon changed when the door started shutting and opening on its own accord. Gandalf forced them open with his magic. “Thank you,” I said as I curtsied. We went into a hallway which had flickering lights and more Angels! Forget walking, we ran! As we approached an open door, we saw the Cyber-King scuttle off into another hallway. We shut the door. Sadly, there were Angels there as well. The lights were stable, thank goodness. We tried to open the door the Cyber-King had shut, but it was locked. I then saw a battery up on the ceiling. Fans were keeping it up there. I got an idea. “Find a Keystone transmitter!” I directed. “Batman can use it to warp someone up there!”

“Good idea!” responded Batman. We got to searching. As he searched, Richard had a bit of trouble.

“I can’t find it anywhere!” he snapped as he leaned on a control panel. It had a long lever that was pushed up when he leaned on it. It snapped. I just gave him a look. The lights flickered, letting the Angels move!

“Found it!” called Michael.

“Shift Keystone, activate!” announced Batman. “Magenta, near the battery on the ceiling! Yellow, in the control room on the ceiling! Cyan, near the transmitter!” The portals were placed. “Shift! Yellow! Hongo!” Hongo was to turn the fans when the battery approached them. “Shift! Fourze! Magenta!” Fourze pushed the battery towards the dock it needed to go into with Hongo helping him. You would think that the Angels would use this time to attack us, but they were looking up once the lights flickered again, looking confused. The next flicker, they started forming a ladder. Fourze inserted the battery into the slot, letting the door open. “Shift! Hongo! Fourze! Cyan!” They returned to normal ground. We escaped that place quickly. We entered a crossroads but found them blocked by Weeping Angels.

“Oh boy,” I gulped.

“What a way to go,” wailed Xiomara.

“Maybe not,” observed Batman. He pointed to a control panel and then pointed to the floor.

“You’re not suggesting dropping us through the floor, are you?!” asked Michael. Batman threw a batarang at the panel, opening the floor beneath us. The Angels were now frozen where they were, forever.

While we were falling, the Cyber-King was trying to get some machines to work. We ended up landing on top of the Cyber-King, taking it offline for a bit. We got up and investigated the machines. They looked like they traveled on some sort of bump studded skirt with a mid-section holding an egg whisk on its left and a toilet plunger on its right. It had a pair of lights on its dome as well as a spherical thing on a stick with discs behind the sphere. “Whoa,” quizzed Wyldstyle. “What are they?” She slammed her fist on one of the machines. It echoed.

“I don’t know,” answered Batman.

“At least they aren’t those statues,” mused Gandalf.

“No, they’re worse than the Weeping Angels,” moaned Michael.

“How bad are they?” I asked.

“Take any sort of hate group,” hissed Michael, “like the Klan, or the Nazis, or any such group, liquefy its flesh, remove all feelings except hatred for other life forms, and slap it into a tank!”

“That’s how bad they are?” I gulped.

“No, they’re a thousand times worse,” elaborated Michael.

“Guys,” called Fourze as he transformed back, “I think I found something!” he pointed to a terminal with a screen. I pressed a button to play some security footage. The image was of a bunch of soldiers, some in white conical hats while the others had the Swastika, burst into the room. The leaders stepped forward to one of the things.

“I am General Thomas of the Neo Klan,” introduced the person in the white conical hat. “This is General Richard of the Nova Nazis. We have reactivated you so you can help us clean our people.” The creature he was addressing just stared as its sphere illuminated blue, confirming that the sphere was some sort of camera for the thing inside. “We need your power,” elaborated Thomas. “You need our resources. Are you listening? Do you understand? Now that we have freed you, you must help us.”

“We do not take orders from inferior life forms!” screamed the creature in a grating, harsh, metallic tone that crescendoed. The lights on the dome flashed with each syllable. “You are impure! Exterminate!” The whisk turned out to be a laser gun as it fired blue bolts of energy at the soldiers, who turned into green x-rays before slumping over, dead.

“Good Grief!” swore the Brigadier as he watched the creatures slaughter the combined hate groups. “Even I wouldn’t wish such a fate on these chaps!”

“Given that the Ku Klux Klan has been the bane of Mom’s Southern roots,” hissed Emily, “I can’t find any sympathy.”

“Neither can I for the Nazis,” growled Lukas.

“What does that laser do?” I asked.

“Massive internal displacement,” muttered Michael.

“Meaning?” I quizzed.

“The insides are scrambled,” explained Michael. “Some would say it’s like being hit by lightning, while others say it’s like a burn, given that some victims were charred.”

“I set you free!” begged Thomas from the recording, the last survivor. “We planned this!”

“Your attempt at control is noted,” screeched the creature, “but humans cannot control the Daleks! You are nothing more than organic refuse! Exterminate!” He was gunned down and fell over the edge. The Dalek, as the creature called its species, then shut down.

“Reactivating! Reactivating!” rumbled a Dalek from behind us. It twitched as it examined us. “Hostiles located! Do not move!”

“Who, us?” asked Wyldstyle. “We’re not hostile, we’re friends of the Doctor!”

“WYLDSTYLE, THAT’S THE LAST THING YOU SHOULD SAY TO THEM!” yelled Michael. All Daleks then turned towards us.

“The Doctor must be exterminated!” screamed one Dalek.

“Well, more like acquaintances, really,” stammered Wyldstyle, digging us deeper. “I didn’t mean ‘friend’.”

“Wyldstyle, button it!” I demanded.

“Daleks conquer and destroy!” squawked another Dalek.

“You will be exterminated!” screeched a third.

“Obey the Daleks!”

“Locate the Doctor!”

“Exterminate! Annihilate! Destroy!”

“We are the supreme beings!”

“Enemies of the Daleks will be exterminated!”

“Do not move!”

“Silence,” boomed a deep Dalek voice. We all turned to see a giant Dalek dome with a tube of liquid holding a blob of flesh (Yuck!) with tentacles, a visible brain, and a single yellow eye, and giant panels extending from the tube hover in with red and black Daleks. Apparently, these things can fly. One of the brownish gray Daleks on the ground zoomed in, distracted in a rant.

“That is why I want to be a red Dalek…” its peers were looking at it, giving it the stink eye. “…Sorry,” it mumbled. Michael smirked. I guess Daleks don’t usually mumble.

“Am I addressing the Dalek Emperor?” asked the Brigadier to the giant Dalek as he put his arms behind his back.

“Correct, but you are not displaying usual Cyberman behavior,” observed the Dalek Emperor.

“I am Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart of the Unified Nebular Intelligence Task force!” snapped the Brigadier. “I demand to know why you are engaged with the Cybermen as they rebuild their home world! Be warned, for failure to comply will result in Alexandra Jones, card carrying Prime Minister of Nova Britain…”

“Yes, we know who Alexandra Jones is,” interrupted the Dalek Emperor. “Her ancestor, Harriet Jones, displayed such an annoyance when we took Earth into the Medusa Cascade. We will tell you nothing of our project. You, on the other hand, will tell us everything you know about the Doctor’s plans. You have been identified as one of the Doctor’s oldest ‘friends’, Sir Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart. We shall interrogate you first!”

“To be honest, we don’t really know anything,” replied Gandalf.

“Then you will be exterminated!” boomed the Emperor.

“Guys, look! A Keystone!” called Michael. The Emperor had a Keystone that had one small green circle on top of a large white one and both circles connected by two lines with broken sections in between.

“What can that thing do?” asked Wyldstyle.

“Initiating scaling stratagem!” called the Emperor.

“I think we’re about to find out,” guessed Batman.

“Enlarge scale of Dalek Lieutenant!” announced the Emperor. A Dalek became a giant at least half the size of the Emperor. “Protect the Keystone! Exterminate hostile life forms!”

“I obey!” obliged the giant Dalek.

“No!” countered a Dalek as it fired on the giant. The laser bounced off harmlessly, but the Emperor didn’t like that.

“Explain! Explain!! EXPLAIN!!!” it shouted at the traitor.

“All Daleks must be exterminated!” replied the renegade Dalek.

“Rusty, old chap!” cheered the Brigadier.

“Rusty? The one that the Doctor converted to the side of the humans?” called Michael, grinning.

“Correct!” confirmed Rusty. “Initiating anti-weapons field!” A dome of light surrounded us. “You may transform without the risk of extermination!”

“Very kind of you, Rusty-san,” I replied. “Arigatou.” (short thank you)

“Dōitashimashite,” (you’re welcome) responded Rusty. I grinned as the Vortex riders took out our i.d tags, Gentarō took out the Fourze Driver, and Hongo struck his pose. Gentarō then flipped the tab switches and struck his pose.

“Three! Two! One!” counted the Fourze Driver.

“Rider…” began Hongo.

“Henshin!” we shouted. We transformed into our Rider forms.

“Uchū KITĀĀĀĀĀ!” said Fourze.

“Explain this behavior!” said the Emperor.

“Kamen Rider Outback! Better watch your backs, mates!”

“Kamen Rider Claw! My weapons shall turn you into ribbons!”

“Kamen Rider Swing! I’ll be taking your legs!”

“Kamen Rider Hunt! I shall always get my prey!”

“Kamen Rider Clash! A duel with me shall end in your defeat!”

“Kamen Rider Climb! Mountains are a warrior’s best friend!”

“Kamen Rider Gallop! My riding skills are unmatched!”

“Kamen Rider Sengoku! You shall get a taste of Feudal Japan!”

“Kamen Rider Royal! Evil will ultimately bow to me!”

“Kamen Rider Guard! None shall harm my friends, family, and lady!”

“Kamen Rider Touché! En Garde, thing of evil!”

“Kamen Rider Zhànshì! Try and stop my quest!”

“Kamen Rider Arch! My skills outdo Robin Hood!”

“Kamen Rider Kämpfer! Your defeat will be certain at my hands!”

“Kamen Rider Seeker! It’s not gold I seek, but your end!”

“Kamen Rider Battle! For friends and family, I shall be victorious!”

“Kamen Rider Fourze! Taiman harasete morau ze!”

“I am Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart! For the sake of humanity, I shall bring the whole of UNIT down on your heads!”

“I am Rusty the Dalek, head of UNIT’s Extraterrestrial Branches! All evil will fall at my manipulator arm!”

“I am Gandalf the Grey! Prepare to see some fireworks!”

“I’m Wyldstyle! Time to think outside the box!”

“I’m Batman! The Dark Knight rises!”

“I am the start of a group of warriors! I am Kamen Rider!”

“EXTERMINATE THEM!” bellowed the Emperor. The giant Dalek hovered over us with its gunstick trained on us.

“Maximum extermination!” it announced. We dodged its laser blasts. The Emperor decided to talk at that time.

“You will tell us the location of the Doctor, or you will be destroyed!” it ordered. “You are no match for the power of the Daleks! Cease your attempts to stop us!”

“You know, The Power of the Daleks was what we call the adventure the second Doctor had when you lot tried to fool a human colony so you could destroy it,” called Battle. The laser blasts the giant Dalek had fired had exposed some machinery.

“You will bear witness to our true power as the supreme beings!” boomed the Emperor.

“Daleks may conquer and destroy,” intoned Rusty, “but I conquer and destroy the Daleks!”

“Guys, keep me covered!” called Wyldstyle. She’s got a Master Build up her sleeves, I just know it! Fourze then swapped out the Drill switch with switch number 19.

“Gatling!” announced the driver. Fourze then flipped the switch on. “Gatling on!” A Gatling gun appeared on his left leg as he fired 10 rounds per second at the Dalek. The rounds bounced off.

“Eh?” yelped Fourze. “It usually pierces concrete!”

“Dalekanium is 10 times stronger than steel!” explained Battle.

“‘Dalekanium’?” I said. I’d laugh if the situation wasn’t tense. Wyldstyle, meanwhile, had constructed a giant remote controller with two joysticks.

“Gandalf, lift it up and move the joysticks!” directed Wyldstyle.

“At once!” called Gandalf. The Vortex riders converted their weapons to ranged mode and gave the wizard covering fire. Wyldstyle had programmed it to mess with the giant Dalek!

“My controls are being overridden! Weapons malfunction?! HELP MEEEEEE!” it shouted. Gandalf sent the giant Dalek into the Emperor. It started changing size rapidly.

“Alert! Alert! I am under attack!” it yelled. As the Emperor changed size, we just shrank! “Keystone malfunctioning! HELP MEEEEEE!” squawked the Emperor.

“System malfunction!” screamed a Dalek. “Critical damage detected!”

“Fourze, the eyestalk is the weak point!” called Battle. “Do you have something to damage it?”

“Not at this size, but the pen switch may cover it,” replied Fourze.

“Pen switch?” I asked.

“When it’s on,” replied Sengoku, “Fourze can use the pen module that attaches to his right leg to draw things that solidify into pure carbon.”

“Then use it to blind a Dalek!” called Battle.

“Got it!” confirmed Fourze. He swapped out the stealth switch for switch 25.

“Pen!” announced the Driver. Switch on! “Pen on!” Fourze jumped up and used a booster pack on his back to reach the eyestalk. He quickly coated the blue light until it was completely black.

“My vision is impaired! I cannot see!” squawked the Dalek. It started freaking out and fired on other Daleks. Rusty shot the Dalek’s undercarriage and blew it up. Soon, everything went back to its normal size.

“Hostility will not be tolerated!” boomed the Emperor. “Enlarge scale of Dalek Supreme!” A black Dalek grew. “Exterminate!” ordered the Emperor.

“I obey!” confirmed the giant Dalek Supreme. It hovered over us and spoke as it fired. “The Keystone will demonstrate the might of the Dalek race!”

Might of the Daleks,” muttered Outback as he dodged a shot. “The BBC should use that!”

“No!” argued Battle as he plunged his blade into a normal sized Dalek. “Any episode title with the structure of Thingy of the Wossname is a bad episode!”

“Even Resurrection of the Daleks?” countered Outback.

“Can we talk about this later?!” I interrupted. The shot I dodged had revealed an electric coil.

“You are prisoners of the Daleks now!” boasted the Emperor. “You will obey or you will be exterminated!”

“Would you actually try!” I taunted. Wyldstyle built a radio with the electric coil attached.

“Daleks do not take orders from lower life forms!” boomed the Emperor. “The Doctor’s associates will be exterminated!”

“Guys, where’s the Keystone transmitter?” asked Touché.

“Oh dear,” gulped Gandalf. “I can’t give anyone lighting powers without it!”

“If it’s electricity you want,” replied Fourze, “I have a switch for that!” He took out both magnet switches and inserted switch 10 where the N magnet was and switch 11 where the S magnet was.

“Elec!” announced the Driver for switch 10. “Scissors!” it said for switch 11. He switched Elec on. “Elec on!” Yellow lightning surrounded Fourze while metal circles with black rubber appeared. The circles attached to Fourze’s chest while his whole body gained a yellow and black lightning motif. His eyes turned blue and a stun rod with three plug sockets on the cross guard and a cord with a plug at the bottom of the handle appeared in his hand.

“Fourze Elec states!” called Sengoku. “And the form’s main weapon, the Elec Module Billy the Rod!”

“Billy the Rod?!” I snickered, holding back laughter. Fourze then plugged the plug into the top socket. He then took out the Elec switch and put it into the rod’s base.

“Limit break!” called the weapon.

“Rider Ten Billion Volt Shoot!” announced Fourze. He slashed at the air which caused an arc of electricity to rush towards the coil. The radio soon got enough charge to play some strange music. It sounded alien, like it was played in the 60’s for an old show for a while. The giant Dalek Supreme then started losing control.

“What is this noise?!” it screamed. “Make it stop! MAKE IT STOOOOPPPPPPPPP!”

“The first Doctor’s theme!” cheered Battle. “The radio is playing the first iteration of the Doctor Who theme that played on November 22nd, 1963!”

“The day Kennedy was assassinated!” remembered Guard.

“Looks like these hateful things don’t like good music!” quipped Battle. The Giant Dalek Supreme crashed into the Emperor.

“Under attack! Under attack!!” it squawked as it started shifting size again. This time, we grew! We stomped around, crushing Daleks without any fancy moves.

“Whoever uses this thing is gonna enjoy this!” I cheered. I then inspected the bottom of my boots. “Ew! I think there’s something in these things!” I whined as I wiped bits of something gooey off the boots.

“That would be the organic occupants of these things,” explained Battle as he kicked a few away.

“Disgusting!” I groaned.

“No!” shouted the Emperor. “This cannot be!! THIS CANNOT BE!! EXPLAIIN! EXPLLAAAAAIIIIN!!!”

“Classic villain trope!” I laughed. “Next thing you know, you’ll be saying that you’re immortal!”

“Its predecessor already did!” called Battle. Then the Emperor regained control over the Keystone.

“Bring forth more Daleks!” it ordered. A new Dalek came up. It had just a dome and a giant cannon on the front.

“A Special Weapons Dalek?!” yelped Battle.

“Enlarge scale of Special Weapons Dalek!” ordered the Emperor. It swiveled its dome around to address the rest of the Daleks. “My brethren, you must exterminate these intruders!” The giant Special Weapons Dalek fired on us. Its shots were even more devastating than the normal Daleks’ guns.

“We have to get the Keystone away from the Emperor!” called Rusty.

“The Keystone belongs to us!” boomed the Emperor. Burning debris fell as the Special Weapons Dalek fired. Another shot revealed the Keystone transmitter.

“Gandalf, I think I should be using water since Fourze is in a form that doesn’t really work well with water,” I called.

“Elemental Keystone, activate! Element of water, Royal!” announced Gandalf. As I doused the debris, the Emperor spoke.

“Secure the unlimited rice pudding!” Wait, what? The Emperor realized what it had said. “Alert! Alert! Vocabulary bank malfunction!”

“You need to update your anti-virus software!” observed Rusty. His plunger arm was in a terminal that connected to the Emperor. Wyldstyle got an idea. She constructed a bomb launcher and made a special connection for Rusty.

“Rusty, want to fire a catapult at a Dalek?” she asked.

“With pleasure!” cheered Rusty as he saw the payload. He connected and calculated the arc the bomb needed to go to hit the Special Weapons Dalek. “Initiating launch!” The catapult launched the bomb at the Special Weapons Dalek. The bomb attached and made warning noises.

“Emergency! Emergency!” yelped the Special Weapons Dalek. It exploded.

“What is the meaning of this?!” demanded the Emperor. “Failure is not in Dalek nature!!”

“Oh, yes, it is!” said the Brigadier. He and Wyldstyle used the remains of the Special Weapons Dalek, bar the gooey bits, to construct a cannon. The Brigadier fired it at the Emperor.

“What is happening to me!” it screamed as it started rapidly shifting size again. Wyldstyle took advantage to construct something that looked like an old telephone.

“Gandalf, raise the top part!” called Wyldstyle. “Rusty, connect with the phone and dial this number! We need his help!”

“At once!” confirmed Gandalf.

“I obey!” obliged Rusty. Gandalf lifted the giant handset while Rusty plugged in and dialed the number Wyldstyle had given him. The dial flashed the numbers Rusty put in. A Dalek voice came out of the receiver as it transmitted.

“Calling…The Doctor!” it droned. “Ring Ring! …Ring Ring! Is anybody there?” The ringtone sounded again. Another Special Weapons Dalek appeared. This one brought its gun to bear on us. Ichigō, Fourze, and Outback leapt into the air. Fourze swapped out the Elec and Gatling switches out and put in the Rocket and Drill switches.

“Rocket! Drill!” announced the driver. He switched them on. “Rocket on! Drill on!” A drill appeared on the left foot and a rocket attached to his right arm. He then used his left hand to pull the lever on the side. “Rocket! Drill! Limit break!”

“RIDER KICK!” shouted Ichigō.

“RIDER OUTBACK KICK!” announced Outback.

“RIDER ROCKET DRILL KICK!” called Fourze. They tore into the Special Weapons Dalek and made it explode. We were getting tired.

“I think our time is at an end,” gulped Gandalf as more Daleks surrounded us.

“Yeah, I don’t think the Doctor’s making house calls today!” observed Wyldstyle.

“Come on…!” urged Batman. The Emperor was about to use the Keystone it had when we heard a familiar Vworp! The TARDIS spun around and reflected the shrink ray the Keystone fired. It shrunk the enemy Daleks and the Emperor! Batman caught the new Keystone as it fell from the Emperor. The TARDIS then landed on one of the tiny Daleks. The doors opened and the Doctor came out with a big fat grin! The now tiny Emperor Dalek floated towards the Doctor.

“Doctor!” it screeched in a tiny voice. The Doctor showed no sympathy to the Emperor.

“Look,” he taunted, “before you start on me,” he bopped the Emperor with that wand of his, “if you WILL fire a shrink ray at a dimensionally transcendental time-machine, these accidents are going to happen.” Gandalf took the time to whack the Emperor with his staff.

“Exterminate him!” ordered the Emperor to his tiny forces. The tiny Daleks opened fire. All they did was give the Doctor tiny zaps.

“Hey, sorry about the shrinking,” said the Doctor, “but YOU called ME, remember?”

“About time, Doctor,” hissed Batman.

“Cutting it a bit close, weren’t you?” quizzed Fourze as all riders cancelled their transformations.

“What?!” yelped the Doctor. “Wait, do I know you?”

“Yes and no,” answered Wyldstyle. “I’m Wyldstyle. We’re the ones who called you.”

“Not the Daleks?” asked the Doctor. “Ah, that explains why they’re so tetchy. All right, get in.” The Brigadier and Rusty were about to go first. “Hold on, not you!” snapped the Doctor.

“Oh, come now, Doctor,” chuckled the Brigadier, “surely you wouldn’t deny an old friend a trip?”

“Old friend?” asked the Doctor. “Wait, you’re not speaking in a monotone. …Sir Alistair?”

“Back to Brigadier now, old chap,” answered the Brigadier. “You’re still in the UNIT files as Chief Scientific Advisor. If you need proof, I remember your salute on Earth in the 21st century.”

“You were responsible for giving me a new perspective on the Daleks,” replied Rusty. “I believe I said that I am not a good Dalek, YOU are a good Dalek.”

“Rusty?” quizzed the Doctor.

“You called the Doctor a Dalek?” the Brigadier asked Rusty.

“I let him look into my mind, but apparently, my hatred of the Daleks made him start to hate Daleks,” muttered the Doctor, sadly. “All I did was give him hatred. He joined the humans, but at a cost.”

“That IS a rather Dalek way of thinking, focusing on hatred towards a species, Doctor,” observed the Brigadier.

“We can point the finger later,” I interjected. “Let’s just get out of here. We’ve got a tale to tell.” We all boarded the TARDIS.

“You will pay for this, Doctor!” promised the Emperor. The Doctor couldn’t resist.

“Don’t worry,” he taunted. “You’ll be fine! Just eat plenty of vegetables! Excellent for growth!”

“Speaking of excellent,” observed the Brigadier, “Cyber-King head in-bound!” The Doctor closed the doors as the Cyber-King tackled the tiny Dalek Emperor. They engaged in a fight that consisted of bumps and sideswipes.

“Right,” called the Doctor as he shut the doors and worked the console, “one of you, start talking! And you can start with why that one’s got pointy ears!” He was talking about Batman as the TARDIS dematerialized and went through the rift.

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