Dad and I landed in Springfield as arranged. A parade was going through, evidently one of the current president we, thankfully, missed. I was sure Dad was about to throw away his career and assassinate him, even though it wasn’t the one from OUR universe. While I can’t say I’M a big fan of him, I’ve found other methods of resisting him. In any case, we found Homer chasing Bart with Krusty right after him. “Dad, please tell me you have a plan!” I whispered.
“Oh, I may have one!” Dad chuckled as he brought out beer and doughnuts.
“Ah, a lure!” I guessed. Homer stopped and sniffed. He then followed the smell and saw us.
“Mr. Simpson, we require your help,” Dad reported.
“Oh god! Not more aliens!” yelped Homer.
“No, not aliens,” I assured him, “but we’re fighting a creature that wants to rule your world. He wants to do the standard stuff, enslave your women, eat your dogs, ruin life as we know it.”
“What can I do?” asked Homer, not interested. I was trying to come up with an answer.
“This guy also wants to keep all the beer and doughnuts to himself,” replied Dad. That got Homer’s attention.
“Like I said!” growled Homer. “What can I do to help?!”
“Follow us,” replied Dad. “We’ll fill you in.”
I had made it to Sensei Wu’s dojo and entered to see the Ninjago team training with Wu. I politely cleared my throat and got their attention. “Pardon me for the interruption,” I said, “but I have grave news.”
“You are one of the competitors that interrupted Chen’s tournament,” observed Sensei Wu.
“Correct,” I confirmed. “I am Hiroki and I need your help. The creature that was the reason for my being in that tournament, he’s about to unleash his masterplan to cover all universes in darkness.”
“That sounds bad, Sensei,” gulped the Red Ninja, Kai.
“What’s our move here?” asked Cole, the Black Ninja.
“It seems we have no choice,” replied Sensei Wu. He turned to me. “We shall join you.”
“Excellent!” I cheered. “This way!”
I was once enemies with Dorothy and now? Here I am, getting her to Vorton. Of course, our meeting went as well as you expected. “You again?!” yelped the little brat. The Cowardly Lion was hiding behind her.
“Me again,” I grumbled.
“What are YOU doing here?” asked the Tin Man.
“Look, I’m not here to cause trouble, not this time,” I replied.
“What exactly ARE you here to do?” asked the Scarecrow.
“She HAS to be lying!” argued Dorothy. Toto was barking at me.
“With Vortech attacking? I have no reason to lie,” I countered.
“Vortech?” asked Dorothy. “You’re not working with him?”
“He intends to cause all realities to collapse,” I replied. “I need something to rule. Right now, I…oh grief…I need your help!”
“W-w-what’s in it for us?” stammered the Cowardly Lion.
“Well, what do you lot want?” I asked.
“I want a brain!” said the Scarecrow.
“I need a heart,” responded the Tin Man.
“I-I-I’d like s-some courage!” gulped the Cowardly Lion.
“I just want to go back to Kansas,” replied Dorothy.
“I think, with Glinda, I can help you on all counts,” I said. “Help me beat Vortech, and your hearts’ desires are fulfilled.” They took some time to consider.
“All right,” affirmed Dorothy, “we’ll help. But, no tricks now!”
“Wouldn’t dream of it, my pretty,” I said.
I was back at the gates of Jurassic World, finding Owen Grady and an Asset Containment Unit Trooper arguing. “Oh, Sure. You get the tranq rifle and I’m stuck with that stun rod. That’s fair,” griped the ACU Trooper.
“You snooze, you lose!” laughed Owen.
“Gentlemen,” I called. The two looked towards me. “Forgive the intrusion, but I need your help. You recall the last mess in this park? The one with Heather and the flood?”
“I remember,” replied Owen. “Weren’t you there?”
“I was,” I confirmed. “I’m here to tell you that the person behind this mess is making his move.”
“All right,” said the ACU Trooper, “who needs poking with a stun rod?” He picked up said tool as Owen unsheathed his knife.
“Well, that was easier than I expected,” I remarked. “Come with me, please.”
I had arrived at the Lion Temple where Laval, Cragger, and Eris were chatting with each other until they saw me. “Tonje!” called Laval.
“Greetings, everyone!” I said as I was hugged on all sides.
“What brings you back to Chima?” asked Cragger.
“I need your help,” I replied. “Vortech is making his move!”
“That’s not good,” gulped Eris. “How can we help?”
“We’re gathering on Vorton,” I answered. “We’ll discuss the plan there.
While everyone had gone off, I, Irina, had reminded Megumi about our deal with Deadpool. She remembered and Rusty sent me to his apartment door. I knocked and Deadpool, in only his underpants and mask, leveled a gun at me. “You better not be selling bibles!” he snapped. “Because I don’t like books!”
“Deadpool, I’m here to give a message,” I told the Merc with a Mouth.
“Anything to do with Jesus?” he snapped. “Because I already told you…”
“More like Vortech making his move,” I replied. He then lowered the gun and sighed.
“He HAD to do it when it was a ‘No Pants for Wade’ day!” he griped. “I’ll be right out. This dive’s not looking good for company.” He shut the door and went to get changed. I looked at my watch a few times before he came out, fully suited up. “All right, off to Vorton!” he cheered as he did a ridiculous Power Rangers like pose.
I arrived back in Cloud Cuckoo Land and found Benny, Emmett, and Unikitty having another dance-off. I joined in and got cheers. “Wyldstyle’s back!” called Unikitty.
“Welcome back, Lucy!” cheered Emmett.
“Lucy? Who’s Lucy?” asked Benny.
“Guys, I need your help,” I said. I gave a cliff notes version of my adventures. “So, wanna come with?”
“I think we can do a little more world-saving,” replied Emmett.
“So, no leaving us behind this time?” snarled Unikitty, her colors briefly going fiery.
“Not this time,” I replied.
“Mind if I help?” asked an Irish voice. Bad Cop then came up to us. “I recently passed my Master Builder’s exam,” he explained. “I want to help you save the world.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way!” I cheered.
“Any second now,” mumbled Master Gamgee as I approached. “Yep, any second now.”
“How about now?” I asked as I revealed myself to the Fellowship.
“Le abdollen,” (You’re late) joked Legolas.
“You grey rascal!” called Gimli. “A fine bit of worry you put us through and then you stroll in as if nothing has happened!”
“Where’s Frodo?” asked Pippin.
“He’s safe,” I replied, “but now our quest leads us beyond Middle-Earth, beyond any land known in this world.”
“The Ring?” asked Boromir.
“Under guard of the Enemy,” I replied, “but not enough to sway us. We have a new enemy, Lord Vortech, the one who has brought Sauron down to lesser levels.”
“If he can bring Sauron down,” guessed Aragorn, “he will surely target us.”
“Exactly,” I confirmed, “which is why I need you to come with me.”
I had arrived at the arcade’s basement to see Jake playing a game. I stepped down the stairs and witnessed him use up his last life. “Man, that was fun,” he said.
“Mind if I take a crack at it?” I asked. He whirled around to see me.
“Sure!” he said. He was playing Defender. I gave it my best shot but didn’t get the high score. Jake whistled. “That’s a lot better than my first time around,” he said. “Good work.”
“Grazie,” I thanked him. “However, this isn’t a social call. My friends and I, we need your assistance. Everything, everywhere, is at risk.”
“Final boss making his move?” asked Jake.
“Bingo,” I confirmed.
“One minute, I learned a new power to allow us to get help,” replied Jake. He then opened a purple pixel portal to let the rocket from Defender out. “We’re fighting a new boss monster,” Jake said to the rocket. “Wanna join?” The rocket did a flip. “All right!” cheered Jake. He turned to me. “That’s his way of saying ‘yes’,” he explained.
“Molto bene,” (Very well) I said.
I arrived at the Watch Tower, the Titans and other League members, Wonder Woman, Green Arrow, Green Lantern, Supergirl, Superman, Aquaman, and the Flash, were already there, as well as the guy who raised me! “Alfred, what are you doing here?!” I yelped.
“It was Mr. Kent’s idea that I be informed of your battles with that brute, Vortech,” explained Alfred. “I do apologize if I have intruded into any of your brooding areas.”
“Sarcasm as usual?” I quizzed.
“Mild teasing, at best,” elaborated Alfred. “I’m being unusually chatty as I have not seen you in some time and have been fraught with worry.”
“You have an honorable father-figure,” commented Wonder Woman.
“I hope I make it obvious that I value him and his advice,” I remarked.
“Every day, Master Bruce,” assured Alfred. “You don’t mind if I join you as part of the support staff on this venture?”
“Vorton would actually be the safest place for you right now,” I said. “Vortech’s making his move.”
“Then, by Hera, let us end his reign of terror!” cheered Wonder Woman.
I was in Hill Valley, 1985, when I saw the Time Machine arrive. An elder Doc and Marty stepped out of the DeLorean and looked around. “Man, I’m getting nostalgic!” remarked Marty.
“That Flux Capacitor should be around here somewhere!” called Doc, not paying attention to what Marty said.
“Excuse me!” I called. The two men looked at me. “Looking for a Flux Capacitor?”
“You know where one is?!” yelped Doc.
“Just follow me and I’ll tell you what’s going on along the way,” I responded.
“Doc, who is this guy?” asked Marty.
“Name’s Josh, Vortex Rider,” I explained. “Let me tell you two a tale.”
The Mystery Machine had broken down on the side of the road when I arrived. They hadn’t seen me before, so I had to be tactful. “Like, of all the times for us to break down!” wailed Shaggy. “Now the Flaming Scarecrow’s gonna hunt us down!”
“Flaming Scarecrow!” shuddered Scooby.
“There’s no such thing as a living scarecrow that can shoot fire from its head!” argued Velma.
“After all the things we’ve witnessed, you still wanna say that?!” countered Shaggy.
“Excuse me!” I called. Scooby leapt into Shaggy’s arms at the sound of my voice. “…Sorry,” I mumbled as everyone turned to me. “Forgive me for interrupting, but I need your help. See, I’m from a universe where your adventures are fiction and I’m a huge fan of yours. Regretfully, though, I’m not here for your autograph, I need your help to take down a man by the name of Vortech.”
“See?” Velma said to Shaggy. “This guy knows what monsters really are.”
“You’d think twice if you saw Vortech,” I replied. “In any event, I need allies. Would you like to come?”
“Uh uh!” grumbled Scooby.
“Come on, Scooby!” protested Daphne. “He needs our help!” Scooby still said no.
“Would you do it for a Scooby snack?” asked Velma. Scooby was tempted, but still said no.
“Two Scooby snacks?” asked Fred. Tempted a little further, but still no.
“Three Scooby snacks?” I asked. That did it.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah!” responded Scooby.
“Excellent! Follow me!” I called.
Of all the places I had to land in, why was it GLaDOS’ chamber?! “You came back,” said the aforementioned a.i, now back in her usual state. “Have you missed me?”
“There’s no easy way to say it,” I said. “My friends and I…we need your help.”
“Help?” asked GLaDOS. “Ha. Ha. Ha. Tell it to my morality core.” She indicated a hole in the wall that held a core with a red eye. “Oh, that’s right, it was removed and replaced with an amorality core instead, which will make what I am about to do to you so much easier.” She summoned turrets and they targeted me! I ducked and weaved around the bullets all the way to the amorality core, replacing it with a core with a purple eye.
“I guess I’ll be seeing a nicer side of you from now on!” I cheered.
“And that is because you are a fool,” snarled GLaDOS. “A rose obsessed, overweight fool with stupid hair.”
“What?!” I said. “HEY!”
“The morality core merely restrains my physical actions,” explained GLaDOS, “not my thoughts. Take it out. It’s unbearable.”
“Only if you help me and my friends,” I snarled.
“…Very well,” grumbled GLaDOS.
I had arrived at Godzilla’s usual hangout, now that he was a Kaiju-man. He blinked when he saw me. “What are you doing back here?” he asked.
“Trouble’s after us,” I explained. “You remember Heather?”
“What about her?” asked the Monster King.
“The guy who gave her the knowledge to travel dimensions,” I elaborated, “is after us. He’s probably going to be a giant. Wanna bring a Kaiju Riser and help me fight him?”
“I’m wearing my Kaiju Riser right now,” explained Godzilla as he showed me his watch. “Fill me in.”
“Rusty, I need a ride back,” I said into the comms. “I have Godzilla with me.”
“Excellent!” cheered Rusty on the other end. “The others are successful in their missions. We’re ready and waiting!” The rift opened for us and we stepped through to see Vorton packed with people and machines.
“Minna-san,” I announced, “here’s what’s going on.”