Standalones Super Mario Heroes

Super Mario Heroes: Ch 3

Ganondorf walked through the canyon that served as Kakariko Village’s southern entrance. He was dragging a man in chains behind him. Like his main foe, the man wore green. Normally, the man would be shouting at Ganondorf to release him or suffer the consequences, leading Ganondorf to scoff at the man and say that he wouldn’t be able to do much since the man was blind. Ganondorf wished the man WOULD say something, because his travelling companion, a fat, blue penguin in royal robes with the “peace” hand sign and a large hammer, would not STOP saying something, and his southern drawl was getting on Ganondorf’s last nerve. “So then, I told him, ‘If you ever talk that way to me again, you’ll be a Waddle Dee pancake and I’ll make sure there’s plenty of tasty syrup on you before I feed you to the dogs!’ The Waddle Dee then high-tailed it faster than Kirby! Hey, did I ever tell you about the time Kirby…”

“Please say something!” Ganondorf hissed to his prisoner.

“And miss out on the entertainment?” chuckled the man. “No way!”

“…and I had just finished a full breakfast too, so I wasn’t…” continued the penguin.


“Hey! I was telling a story here!” snapped the penguin, King Dedede. “You know, it’s very rude to interrupt someone when they’re spinning a yarn!”

“It’s ruder still,” growled Ganondorf, “to keep talking and talking and talking! I think I just learned what being ‘talked at’ means!”

“Will you zip it?!” snarled King Dedede. “At least my talking got the people of Popstar to respect me!”

“I highly doubt that, you gluttonous hog!” retorted Ganondorf. “Unlike you, I don’t conquer things just to get to the head of an all-you-can-eat buffet!”

“Yeah, well, conquest is hardly enjoyable without a tasty reward!” argued King Dedede.

“We’ll see how you enjoy even a carrot,” growled Ganondorf, “when I slice your useless head off!”

“Oh man, if I only had popcorn!” chuckled the man.

“SHUT UP!” shouted Ganondorf.

“You wanted me to say something earlier,” giggled the man. “Now you don’t? Man, so confusing.”

“You won’t be laughing when we use the Elemental Princesses’ power to control this universe!” growled Ganondorf.

“You can’t even control the Elemental Stars yet!” laughed the man. “What makes you think you can control the Princesses?”

“Oh, we have our ways,” chuckled Ganondorf darkly. “Dedede, would take over dragging him? …Dedede?” Ganondorf then looked to King Dedede to see the penguin distracted by his foot. “Dedede, will you PLEASE pay attention?!” snapped Ganondorf.

“I am,” replied King Dedede. “My corn hurts. It must be starting to snow.”

“Your ‘corn’ must be broken, then!” snarled Ganondorf. “It’s the middle of summer! How can a hurt foot even detect snow?!” That was when a huge pile of snow landed on the two villains.

“…Ask a silly question, get a silly answer,” chuckled the man.

“Terraxila!” called Aqualixar’s voice. She and the Heroes then approached the site at top speed.

“Aqualixar!” cheered the man, Terraxila. “Thank the stars you’re here! Who’s with you? My magic glasses are gone and I can’t feel the earth all that good. My feet are covered.”

“I didn’t get all their names,” explained Aqualixar as she summoned an ice knife to cut the chains. “The names I DO know are because one rescued me and the other’s an old friend of ours.”

“I believe you recognize my voice,” called Rosalina.

“Your dulcet tones CAN’T be mistaken, Rosalina,” replied Terraxila. “Good to hear you, since I can’t see you.”

“Hold on, let me just make some new magic glasses,” declared Rosalina. She waved her wand and summoned a pair of glasses, handing them to Terraxila. He unfolded the glasses and set them onto his face. His eyes then started tracking movement.

“And there’s the old black and white vision,” sighed Terraxila happily.

“I can forge glasses that can help you see color, if you wish,” offered Rosalina.

“That won’t be necessary, old friend, but thank you,” bid Terraxila. He undid the crude shoes and stood up. “Ah, sweet earth’s touch, how I’ve missed you,” he sighed in another happy tone. The instant Terraxila was freed, Ganondorf and King Dedede freed themselves from the snow.

“How in the…?!” spluttered Ganondorf.

“I told you my corn’s never wrong!” snarled King Dedede. He then saw the Heroes. “What the?! I thought you said they couldn’t get past that goop monster without water!”

“They must have freed that woman and she assisted them!” snarled Ganondorf.

“Well, there’s always the Nightmare Enterprises monsters to deal with them!” declared Dedede. He pulled out a small stone cube, then tossed it into the air. The cube grew until it was as large as a hill. It then grew eyes, arms, and legs and glared menacingly at the Heroes.

“Blocky?!” gulped Kirby.

“Have fun, kiddoes!” laughed Dedede as he and Ganondorf made their escape.

“Kirby, you know this guy?” asked Mario. Kirby nodded. “Then you can easily swallow him, right?” Kirby shook his body side to side to indicate “no”.

“Blocky’s a living being made of earth,” groaned Terraxila. “We can’t control beings made of the elements; it would cause a painful feedback!”

“Even controlling beings that are 80% water is uncomfortable for me,” muttered Aqualixar.

“However, I think I can still beat this thing,” mused Terraxila. “Star Warrior, any advice?” Kirby then swallowed a rock and became Stone Kirby. “…Er, what good’s THAT going to do?”

“Hurl him!” called Samus. “Throw Blocky off balance!”

“Say no more!” declared Terraxila. He then employed a stance that was almost Kung Fu like and made a stone pillar to launch Stone Kirby into Blocky. Blocky was struck on his topmost edge and toppled into a large stone spike, causing both the spike and Blocky to shatter. Kirby returned to normal and cheered. “Good work, Star Warrior!” praised Terraxila. He then turned to Samus. “I take it this is a young Star Warrior, one who’s yet to master speech?”

“Bingo,” confirmed Samus.

“And your power armor,” mused Terraxila, “is that of Chozo design?”

“Yep,” answered Samus.

“Then we’ll definitely need your help, Ma’am,” declared Terraxila. “A Space Pirate by the name of Ridley has taken Ventarix, the Knight of Air, as his hostage.” Under her suit’s helmet, Samus’ eyes went wide at the name of Ridley.

“…How long?!” she whispered in a dangerous tone. “…How long have I got to fight that mutant dragon?!”

“Then you two have a history,” realized Terraxila.

“We’ve all faced him once or twice,” interjected Mario, “Samus having the most encounters out of all of us.”

“Well, Ridley’s holding my fellow knight in a town outside this world’s castle,” explained Terraxila.

“Castle Town!” realized Link.

“My people!” called Zelda. “Hurry, everyone!”

“Wait, we need the…!” yelped Donkey Kong.

“Got a green star here!” replied Luigi. Terraxila goggled in shock.

“H…How did you not…?!” he gulped. “I mean…you should be a stone statue after touching the Earth Star!”

“That was my reaction when they all safely touched a Water Star!” answered Aqualixar.

“Could you lot be…the Legendary Heroes?” mused Terraxila. He then shook his head. “Never mind. Let’s go!” The Heroes then took off, with Zelda and Link leading the way to Castle Town.

A giant, winged creature, looking like a cross between a Western Dragon and a Pterodactyl, held a woman in cyan clothing in his grasp and looked down at Ganondorf and Dedede. “What was THAT all about?!” snapped the creature. “You just threw a giant block in the Heroes’ way?!”

“What are you complaining about, Ridley, you turkey?!” argued Dedede. “Blocky can hold them off!”

“How many times did Kirby beat him?!” thundered the creature, Ridley. “You do know what the clinical definition of insanity is?!”

“Blocky’s been upgraded!” snapped Dedede. “He’ll beat Kirby this time!”

“With his current allies?!” argued Ridley.

“Good grief, and people call ME a windbag,” muttered the woman in his grasp. Ridley clenched his fist, nearly crushing the woman.

“Personally, I can’t wait to pop you like a zit!” snarled Ridley. “Your blood will make a nice decoration to the ground!”

“Save your sadism,” advised Ganondorf. “It looks like you were right, Ridley.”

“Why’s Ridley right?!” argued Dedede. Ganondorf said nothing, he just pointed to the Heroes running up to them. “…Those Heroes are just like taxes; they just don’t know when to stop!”

“Let me handle this,” directed Ridley. He stomped forward and brandished the woman. “Not one more step, Heroes!”

“Or what, monster?!” snarled Samus.

“Or I crush this woman and her entrails litter the ground as your mother’s did on K-2L!” replied Ridley.

“How many times must I kill you?!” growled Samus as she readied her arm cannon.

“Oh, Samus, I am eternal!” bragged Ridley. “Let’s see, how many names did I get? There’s just Ridley, Meta Ridley, Omega Ridley, Little Birdie, Neo Ridley, heck, I might as well be called Cyclone Ridley now!” He then revealed the cybernetic implant on his chest. Inside a small dome was a cyan star.

“Ventarix, don’t worry!” called Aqualixar to the woman in Ridley’s grip. “We’ll get you down!”

“Take your time,” snarked the woman, Ventarix.

“It’s clear that the Air Star is powering him right now,” observed Terraxila. “We must break the implant and…”

“He’s mine!” shouted Samus as she morphed into a metal ball and rolled up the side of a house, then unfurled and fired her arm cannon at the implant. The shot hit and Ridley roared in rage, dropping Ventarix.

“Thank you, Ma’am,” bid Ventarix as Samus continued firing on Ridley. Ridley took to the air as Ganondorf and Dedede personally fought the other Heroes. Ventarix looked up to Ridley and decided on her actions. Utilizing moves that were like the Baguazhang style of martial arts, Ventarix created a vacuum bubble and maneuvered it around Ridley’s head. It was then that Ridley felt his breath being sucked out of his lungs! Ridley lost concentration and plummeted to the ground, desperately trying to regain his breath. Unbeknownst to Ventarix, Dedede saw the whole thing. He rushed to the rescue by swinging his hammer into her side, making her lose concentration.

“Now what, I say, WHAT was that all about?!” he ranted as Ventarix recovered from the blow. “Ridley may be a space monster, but even he can’t hold his breath forever! He ain’t someone who can breathe in space! He’s gotta have air, like you and me! His lungs crave air! You gotta think of things like that!”

“I did!” hissed Ventarix. “That’s why I declared myself his Angel of Death!”

“You can’t kill him!” protested Dedede. “You heroes have moral codes!”

“I’m a knight, not a hero!” snarled Ventarix as she adopted a ready stance. “I’ll do whatever it takes to protect my ruler, even in exile!”

“You’re a nice girl,” muttered Dedede as he readied his hammer, “but you’ve got more nerve than a bum tooth.” The two then dueled. For a man of his bulk, Dedede was surprisingly fast, never giving Ventarix the chance to take his breath. They soon entered the battle between Ridley, Ganondorf, and the Heroes. Ridley’s implant had cracked where it held the Air Star. Samus saw it and readied a shot. She fired and the implant exploded, damaging Ridley and causing the star to fly out of the implant, into Daisy’s hands. Ventarix was amazed at how Daisy could safely handle the star.

“How is that…?!” she gasped before Dedede knocked her into a building. He then rejoined Ganondorf and Ridley.

“I don’t wish to sound like a coward,” gulped Dedede, “but we’re all starting to look like two miles of bad road! We better head for the hills!”

“Are you kidding?!” snarled Ridley. “The Air Knight tried to kill me! I won’t rest until her blood coats my teeth!”

“Enough!” shouted Ganondorf. “We will consolidate our power at the castle! The book is still the goal! Retreat!” He and Dedede hopped onto Ridley’s back and spurred him on.

“I’m not a horse, you know!” grumbled Ridley as he took off in the direction of the castle.

“We have to go after them and put them in the ground for…!” Ventarix didn’t get far as she was splashed with a tremendous amount of water. She spluttered, then glared at Aqualixar. “…Explanations?” she hissed.

“We all swore an oath!” snarled Aqualixar. “We will not kill anyone unless it’s absolutely necessary!”

“What’s gotten into you?!” snapped Terraxila. “You wouldn’t hurt a fly normally!”

“After I heard that my Princess was being targeted,” replied Ventarix, “I had to put aside my personal feelings and do what I needed to do to protect her.”

“What, by giving the enemy a way out?!” argued Aqualixar.

“No one will have closure if you kill them!” continued Terraxila.

“Far be it for me to interrupt,” called Rosalina, “but we DO have a mission to complete.”

“She’s right,” agreed Zelda. “There’s a book we need and it’s at the castle! We MUST retrieve it to stop our nemeses!”

“…You know them?” asked Ventarix. The Heroes nodded. “…Very well, I will accompany you.”

“Good, but no killing!” declared Mario. “Your friends are right.”

“Very well,” grunted Ventarix. The Heroes then dashed towards Hyrule Castle.

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