Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 7

Meeting of the Stars: Part 4

“You stole all the food in your kingdom?” Trini asked King Dedede.

“Yeah, not gonna lie, I was a feather-brained jerk back then,” answered King Dedede. “When you hang out with Kirby long enough, you learn a better way to do things. Although, gotta say, a lot of mysterious evil forces have a tendency to possess me!” By then, the TARDIS made its arrival sound.

“Did she win?” asked Bandee. Sty checked the computer.

“…That energy signature is moving towards us, so I’d say no!” she said. The TARDIS fully materialized and everyone rushed out.

“Doctor?” asked Jamie.

“King Dedede, raise all defenses!” the Doctor panted.

“Is it anything to do with that energy thing Sty found?” asked King Dedede.

“That ‘energy thing’,” replied the Doctor, “is a Transformer’s Spark! Specifically, it’s Starscream’s Spark! He’s rebuilt his body and-!”

“Starscream?! The Decepticon Second-in-Command?!” yelped King Dedede. He turned to Bandee. “Get every single fighter ready! I ain’t having no Decepticon flying around here! Especially not Starscream!”

“Yes, Sir!” replied Bandee.

“Sire, it’s worse than you know!” interjected Meta Knight. “He’s huge! And I mean huge for a Transformer!”

“Big enough to need us?” asked Jason.

“I’m afraid we cannot defeat him at our size,” replied Meta Knight.

“No, but the Rangers DO have a weapon roughly Starscream’s size!” realized the Doctor. “You lot suit up and summon your Megazord!”

“Got it!” replied Jason. “Guys, IT’S MORPHIN’ TIME!” The Rangers then pulled out their buckles and inserted their coins, then thrust their buckles out in front of them.

“MASTODON!” called Zack.

“PTERODACTYL!” announced Kimberly.

“TRICERATOPS!” shouted Billy.

“SABER-TOOTHED TIGER!” called Trini.

“TYRANNOSAURUS!” finished Jason. Spandex suits and matching helmets then appeared on them, Zack in a black Mastodon-themed suit, Kimberly in a pink pterodactyl one, Billy in a blue triceratops suit, Trini in a yellow Smilodon suit, and Jason in a red Tyrannosaurus Rex suit. The Sailor Senshi blinked.

“…I swear I saw those suits before,” said Sailor Mars.

“Hang on, the Power Rangers are real?!” asked Sailor Moon. “But they’re ripoffs of our Super Sentai teams!”

“Ripoffs?!” protested the Pink Ranger.

“Now now,” called the Doctor, “both Super Sentai and Power Rangers exist. And right now, the place and time to argue about who is better is not here, not now! Not with a Megazord-sized Starscream on his-!” There was a boom and the castle shook! “Correction, a Megazord-sized Starscream is already here!”


Starscream cackled as he sent Waddle-Dees outside the castle running in a panic. “Oh, when organics are so small!” he chortled. Just then, the earth shook again, making Starscream wobble. “What the-?! That’s not from my footsteps!” He was right. It came from five robots that rose from beneath the earth. There was a red T-Rex that reminded Starscream of the Dinobot leader, a blue triceratops, a yellow Smilodon, a black mastodon, and a pink pterodactyl. He then briefly saw the Rangers leap up into their respective beasts. The triceratops and the Smilodon then folded their tails back and their feet, then joined at the T-Rex’s legs, making tank treads, then the mastodon turned around and split its body in half so that massive guns linked up with the back of the T-rex while the head of the mastodon made armor that protected the linkages between the T-Rex, the triceratops, and the Smilodon. The pterodactyl then perched itself on the war machine’s back, then it opened fire! Starscream rolled out of the way and laughed. “You know, when you combine, you’re supposed to be a bigger robot!” he cackled. “Not a bigger vehicle!”

“Keep talking and we’ll show you!” replied the Red Ranger from the loudspeaker. “Activating Megazord Battle mode!” The tank treads then pulled the machine up to become legs, the guns folded into themselves to become arms, the pterodactyl folded its wings and became chest armor, and the T-Rex head folded down to reveal a head that had a mouthplate and a pair of curved horns pointing upwards. The completed Megazord then struck a pose. “POWER SWORD!” called the Red Ranger. A giant sword then fell from the sky and buried itself into the earth. The Megazord pulled the sword out and swung it, but Starscream leapt out of the way.

“HAH! A CLUMSY WEAPON FOR PRIMITIVES!” cackled the oversized Decepticon.

“HEY! SCREAMER!” called King Dedede’s voice. The Warp Star then flew straight at Starscream’s face before turning sharply upwards. It was carrying Kirby, Meta Knight, Bandee, and King Dedede! The Warp Star flew all around Starscream like an annoying mosquito! Starscream decided that the best way to deal with a mosquito like the Warp Star and its passengers was to swat it! The Warp Star stayed out of reach. The Rangers then heard the TARDIS arriving. The Doctor, her companions both past and present, and the Sailor Senshi then piled in.

“HEY!” protested the Yellow Ranger. “Kinda cramped in here now!”

“Doctor, what’s going on?!” asked the Red Ranger.

“Power Rangers, you need to let the Sailor Senshi charge up the Megazord’s sword!” replied the Doctor. “With their power augmenting the power of the Morphin Grid, it should be enough to destroy Starscream’s body!”

“How do you know?” asked the Blue Ranger.

“I don’t. I’m hoping,” replied the Doctor. She got to work as the Sailor Senshi charged their magic.

“Hey, Doctor!” called Jamie. “That star of Kirby’s is getting slower!”

“Doctor, you tied the wrong wires together!” Tysar yelped. “You must concentrate!”

“I AM concentrating!” insisted the Doctor.

“Doctor, we have to unleash our power now!” warned Sailor Mercury. The Sailor Senshi WERE looking a little pained.

“Right! NOW!” called the Doctor. The Sailor Senshi channeled their powers into the sword.

“All right! Here we go!” called the Red Ranger.

“Kirby, BACK AWAY!” warned the Doctor over the loudspeaker.


“Poyo?” asked Kirby as he looked back. His eyes bugged out and he flew the Warp Star away from the sword!

“That’s it! Run, you-!” taunted Starscream. The sword then sliced through Starscream, the energies of the attack coursing through his body. He then faded to gunmetal gray and exploded! His Spark was flung beyond Popstar’s atmosphere.


“YES!” cheered the Doctor.

“We did it!” called the Red Ranger.

“That…was…AWESOME!” cheered Sailor Moon. “Girls, maybe we should get Luna and Artemis to get us a robot!”

“Usagi, you can’t be serious!” protested Sailor Mars. “We don’t need a giant robot!”

“But what if Godzilla attacks us?!” argued Sailor Moon.

“Godzilla’s a piece of fiction,” replied Sailor Mars.

“…Um, actually-,” interjected the Doctor.

“We met the big guy before,” said the Black Ranger. “Rita Repulsa’s doing.”

“WHAT?!” yelped Sailor Mars. “But someone would have noticed! I’d have heard about it!”

“…Did you learn about the Zygon Gambit with the Loch Ness Monster?” asked the Doctor. “Or the Yetis in the London Underground? Or all the Kamen Riders running around? Or the Ultramen? Or about the Dalek Civil War in Shoreditch, London?”

“…What?” asked Sailor Moon. The Doctor rolled her eyes.

“Your species has the most amazing capacity for self-deception matched only for its ingenuity when trying to destroy itself!” she muttered.


The Rangers and Sailor Senshi powered down after the fight and everyone returned to Castle Dedede for a huge feast. Usagi felt right at home, sitting next to King Dedede and Kirby and eating as much as they did. Rei just rolled her eyes. “You know, the future Queen of Earth over there,” she said to Kimberly, “is gonna need a big dress size.”

“Hopefully she’ll rule with grace still,” remarked Kimberly.

“Ah, let the lass eat!” protested Jamie. “We all earned it!”

“King Dedede, your chefs should be proud!” praised Zoe. “This is delicious!”

“You should take some home with you!” offered King Dedede. “Even a big guy like me can’t eat it all!”

“That is a remarkable turnaround from your first meeting with Kirby,” said Meta Knight.

“Let’s say I learned how to be a proper king over the years,” replied King Dedede.


After the feast, King Dedede had the leftover food packaged up and distributed among his friends. The Doctor then took her companions back to the TARDIS. “Farewell, King Dedede!” she called. “Your rule will be a long one and a prosperous one!”

“You sure you should be telling me my future like that?” asked King Dedede.

“Trust me, I’m securing history by telling you,” replied the Doctor. She then shut the TARDIS door as Kirby called out “POYO!” in a happy farewell. Jason and his friends were in disbelief at the size of the TARDIS interior.

“It really IS bigger on the inside!” said Trini.

“Always has been,” replied the Doctor. “Aha! Angel Grove! All set!”

“All right!” cheered Jason. “Can’t wait to tell Zordon and Alpha about all this!”

“Give them my regards, will you?” asked the Doctor. She then set the switch and the Power Rangers and the food they took vanished. “Now, you girls!” she said to the Sailor Senshi.

“Hey, Doctor,” interjected Minako, “do you know Setsuna personally?”

“Oh yes,” replied the Doctor. “In fact, she was one of the Grouping Victims. Tysar can confirm that one.”

“Ugh, we had to tour my people’s ancestral home world of Skaro,” grumbled Tysar. “All while dealing with a Krynoid!”

“There we are!” called the Doctor once she finished. She then flicked the switch. “Good luck!” she called. The Sailor Senshi waved as they and the food they took vanished.

“I guess it’s us next,” remarked Jamie.

“So it is,” replied the Doctor. “But this time, no memory erasure.”

“Good, because I don’t think I can forgive the Time Lords for that,” said Zoe.

“I still haven’t,” said the Doctor.

“Hey, Doctor…” said Jamie, “do you…well…do you ever check on your friends?”

“Constantly,” answered the Doctor. “Yes, even you two. Nineteen grandchildren? Your five daughters really made the family big!” Jamie beamed with pride.

“Aye, and a joy they all are!” he said. “Come visit when you can! I’d be more than proud!”

“Will do, Jamie McCrimmon! Live your life and live it well!” Jamie waved goodbye as he and his share of the food vanished. “And Zoe, did you really name your son after-?”

“I did!” confirmed Zoe. “It’s funny, I didn’t know it at the time, but all those adventures we had were at the back of my mind throughout my life!”

“No method of mind-wiping is perfect, Zoe. And our friendship is proof of that. Good luck in your third term, Madame President! You’re the perfect leader for Earth!”

“Do come visit!” replied Zoe as she and her last share of food vanished. The Doctor smiled as she recalled all the adventures she had during her second incarnation. She then frowned as she recalled Omega.

“Come along, you two,” she said to Tysar and Sty. “That whole adventure gave him the time he needed to cause another mess!” She set the TARDIS in motion!


In the depths of space, Starscream’s Spark floated helplessly. “I’LL BE BACK!” he promised. “EVEN IF IT TAKES A THOUSAND YEARS, I WILL BE REVENGED ON YOU ALL!!!”

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 7

Meeting of the Stars: Part 3

The remaining team members were back at Castle Dedede on Mt. Dedede. “So the whole idea behind that Gourmet Race you lot were doing,” said Jamie, “was to eat as much as you can while going as fast as you can?”

“Yeah, it’s been that way since my early years with Kirby,” remarked King Dedede. “And hoo BOY! The guys making antacids make quite a tidy profit!”

“I can imagine,” said Billy Cranston. “That sounds…rough on your stomach.”

“Sire,” said Bandee, “the results of the race came in. Looks like the race was ended early when we all crashed into the TARDIS.”

“Of course,” sighed King Dedede. “All right, Bandee, rip the band-aid off. Say Kirby won.”

“Well, that’s the thing,” said Bandee, “all four of us were the lowest scoring racers. You were last place, Kirby was 15th, Meta Knight was 14th, and I was 13th-.”

“Wait, Kirby lost too?!”

“Yeah, the winner was Rick. He and those clones of his counted as one racer, according to the judges.”

“HOW DO THEY FIGURE THAT?!” protested King Dedede.

“Well, the hive-mind nature of him and the clones,” said Bandee, “made it so that they all could plan more effectively. The judges decided to add up all the totals he and his clones each ate and combine them into one grand total.”

“Okay, I ain’t putting up with this!” snapped King Dedede. “From now on, no more cloning to try and win a Gourmet Race! That’s a Royal Decree!”

“Sounds fair,” remarked Kimberly. As the discussion went on, Sty was working on a computer. Billy looked over.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“The computers on Meta Knight’s ship,” explained Sty, “detected an energy signature at the Doctor’s position. I’m cross-referencing it with the computers in my PAK to see if the Irkens encountered this before.” Just then, the computer beeped. “AHA! There IS a match! Let’s see-!” Her face fell. “…By Tak!”

“That sounds bad,” said Jason.

“My people more than encountered the energy signature…we fought it once!” explained Sty. “Well, at least a faction!”


The Doctor and Zoe were a bit surprised. This didn’t look anything like the room they entered on the Gonds’ homeworld when they last took the test. There were Waddle-Dees everywhere and they seemed to be building something. There was scaffolding surrounding the object in a square fashion. The object was roughly 40 to 41 meters tall, at least by the Doctor’s estimates, but it was covered by some cloth. “Well, at least we know why the Krotons weren’t draining the mental energy of those that passed the test anymore,” remarked Zoe.

“That’s a lot of welding tools,” observed Sailor Mercury.

“Something crystalline Krotons shouldn’t need,” said the Doctor. “Whatever that is, it’s not being grown like the Dynatrope was.”

“Then are we really sure it IS the Krotons?” asked Zoe.

“No, no we’re not,” confirmed the Doctor. She then approached the scaffolding and climbed up. She stopped on the middle walkway and reached for the cloth. She grabbed a bit of it, then pulled as hard as she could. The cloth slid off the object and reached the floor. The Doctor looked up and gasped! It was a humanoid robot with jet parts attached to it! The red-orange trim on the otherwise white and blue body as well as the evil-looking purple face on the wings was all she needed to know. “…He scavenged Kroton technology!” she whispered. “He’s alive and he scavenged Kroton technology to get a slave force to rebuild his body!”

“Doctor?” called Zoe.

“We’re all in great danger!” replied the Doctor. “We have to destroy this thing!”

“Ah ah AH!” cackled a nasally voice. “Naughty naughty! You Time Lords should know better than that!” An orb of pulsating light appeared.

“…Rebuilding your body after it was destroyed?” the Doctor asked the orb. “You know that they’re techno-organic these days, right?”

“Now you see why I’m not eager to go back!” replied the orb.

“Doctor, do you know this energy being?” asked Sailor Mercury.

“It’s not an energy being, not really,” replied the Doctor. “…It’s the Spark of a Transformer.”

“A Transformer?” asked Sailor Mercury. “You mean like those toys of robots turning into vehicles that the Americans made out of the Diaclone and Microman lines?”

“TOYS?!” spluttered the orb. “WE ARE MORE THAN MERE TOYS, GIRL!”

“And their war was VERY real,” continued the Doctor. “…Thankfully, it’s past events in this time.”

“Yes, my beloved metal world is a techno-organic wasteland, thanks to those Maximals!” snarled the Spark.

“You mean paradise,” corrected the Doctor.

“So you’re from Cybertron’s Great War?” asked Zoe.

“Indeed,” replied the Spark. “Permit me to introduce myself. …AIR COMMANDER STARSCREAM OF THE DECEPTICON BATTLEFLEET!”

“How did you come to control Kroton technology?” asked the Doctor. “They won’t like that.”

“The Krotons were long dead by the time I discovered their technology, Doctor,” explained Starscream. “It was just enough to figure out the brightest minds, at least among the Waddle-Dees. I have to admit, they can apply the Energon Refining Formula like no one’s business.”

“So you use the Krotons’ learning machines to suss out the brightest Waddle-Dees to build you a new body. But that must take a phenomenal amount of Energon! I mean, look at the size of it! Your original body was only 5 meters! And how do you solve the shifting of limbs, internal mechanics, and armor rearrangement without a Transformation Cog?”

“Who says I don’t have one? BEHOLD!” A mechanical arm carrying a cog-like device then descended from the ceiling and inserted it into the hip. The Waddle-Dees then quickly adjusted everything and closed the opening.

“T-Cog integration complete, Master,” reported a Waddle-Dee. “The cloned T-Cog works well.”

“Excellent!” praised Starscream as his Spark pulsed with pride.

“Starscream, you need to come with me and be returned to your own time!” insisted the Doctor.

“Actually, Doctor, I AM in my own time,” corrected Starscream. “That chronal surge brought me back from Earth’s prehistoric past and put me back here, where and when I belong.”

“I don’t think I understand why you need to build a body in the first place,” said Sailor Mercury. “What happened to the original?”

“Glad you asked,” replied Starscream. “I always like recounting this thrilling tale. Tell me, what time do YOU come from?”

“…From the 1990’s.”

“Ah, so us Decepticons restarted our war with the Autobots a decade before your time! This happens in your future and led to the downfall of the Decepticons, so for me, it’s ancient history. I fell defending my leader, Galvatron, against the most powerful enemy of all; the planet-sized Transformer and Dark God of our pantheon, UNICRON! My original body was destroyed, but, miraculously, my Spark endured! Drifting helplessly through the depths of space, beyond the reach of time itself! It was maddening, seeing the Decepticons lose the Great War and the Autobots claiming Cybertron! Even when both factions evolved into the respective Predacons and Maximals, it still went nowhere! Not even the transwarp aperture the Darksyde opened could bring victory! I followed the ship and the pursuing Axalon and participated in the Beast Wars during Earth’s prehistoric past, but it was all for naught and I was stuck! …At least, until a chronal surge brought me back to this time.”

“That is all a lie!” called a voice with a Hispanic accent! The Doctor, Zoe, and Sailor Mercury turned to see Kirby, Meta Knight, and the rest of the Sailor Senshi in the room!

“Get out of here!” protested the Doctor.

“SECURITY!” shrieked Starscream. “DON’T YOU WADDLE-DEES PRACTICE IT?!”

“My apologies, Doctor,” said Meta Knight, “but we needed to get inside and help you defeat this Decepticon while he lied!”

“Not everything he said was a lie,” replied the Doctor. “Galvatron and Unicron were involved, yes, but here’s the truth; Galvatron was the reconstruction and warping of the original Decepticon leader, Megatron, through Unicron’s efforts. Megatron was tossed out of an airlock by Starscream after being brutally wounded. When he was rebuilt into Galvatron, he returned to Cybertron and shot his treacherous second in command here, turning his body to brittle metal that fell apart.”

“WHETHER HE’S GALVATRON OR MEGATRON, HE WAS STILL A FOOL!” shrieked Starscream. “THE AUTOBOTS WOULD HAVE LOST EONS AGO HAD I BEEN THE ONE CALLING THE SHOTS! CYBERTRON WOULD HAVE REMAINED A METAL WORLD!”

“Master!” called a Waddle-Dee. “We have integrated your royal attachments to your body! They will attach themselves when you assume robot mode and detach and follow you when in alt-mode!”

“Excellent!” praised Starscream. “Begin Spark Integration!” The body’s Spark Chamber opened and Starscream’s Spark flew into it. The chamber closed, then the optics switched on to shine blood-red! A smirk crossed the face as Starscream examined himself. “A perfect fit!” Shoulder armor then attached itself to his shoulders as a gold crown with red gemstones fitted itself onto his head and a cape was attached to his back. The Doctor then addressed the team.

“No arguments now,” she said. “When I tell you to run…”

“We run,” confirmed Zoe. “I see that hasn’t changed.”

“Unfortunately,” sighed the Doctor. Starscream then addressed the Waddle-Dees.

“Thank you all for your dedication and wonderful service. But I am more suited to the exclusive company…of TITANS!” He aimed his new Null Ray at the Waddle-Dees. Sailor Mercury then summoned a harp.

“MERCURY AQUA RHAPSODY!” she announced. Streams of water then sailed through the air and struck Starscream. Ordinarily, it would have knocked someone over, but for someone of Starscream’s current size…he just blinked as he looked at his now wet foot.

“…You realize that it would take a long time for water to do any damage to me?” he scoffed.

“I don’t know, it served as the perfect distraction,” replied Sailor Mercury.

“Distraction for what?” asked Starscream.

“MOON TIARA ACTION!” called Sailor Moon’s voice. Starscream looked to see Sailor Moon fling her tiara like a frisbee as it turned into a white energy crescent. The attack struck him in his left optic!

“ARGH!” he cried aloud as he covered his optic. He then snarled. “Why you platinum-furred ape! PREPARE FOR OBLIVION!” He then raised his fist!

“RUN!” shouted the Doctor. Everyone dashed for the TARDIS. It took off quickly as the Waddle-Dees ran from the facility. Starscream snarled.

“Running away won’t help you, Doctor!” he promised. His cape, shoulder armor, and crown flew off as he transformed and burst out through the facility’s roof, his garb following close behind. He set a course for Mt. Dedede.

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 7

Meeting of the Stars: Part 2

The Doctor finally broke off the hug. “But…but how?!” she asked. “The Time Lords wiped your memories of our adventures!”

“We can’t exactly explain it,” replied Zoe. “One moment, we fell asleep, then the next, we woke up in some strange room in the TARDIS with all our memories restored.”

“And this room had different control panels and all sorts of screens and roundels and-!” continued Jamie.

“The Remembered TARDIS!” gasped the Doctor.

“The what?” asked Jamie.

“It’s how I remember the TARDIS, Jamie,” replied the Doctor. “It was created when UNIT made a Time Window. And it’s powered by memories of past and future adventures. During an adventure where I had to deal with a destroyer, it must have latched onto everyone’s memories, from my past lives to all the companions I traveled with. The added side effect must have been to restore your memories.”

“Well, all the clutter certainly matched the TARDIS,” remarked Jamie.

“You really could have spent some time dusting it when we were travelling with you,” agreed Zoe.

“OI!” protested the Doctor.

“Not much has changed,” remarked Tysar. “There’s still some odds and ends everywhere inside.”

“See here-!” snapped the Doctor. Her sonic screwdriver then beeped. She checked it and blinked. “…Well, that’s a bit odd,” she said.

“What’s wrong?” asked Sty.

“It turns out there was a chronal surge here earlier,” explained the Doctor. “Not sure where it came from and who it plucked. …How about this, let’s introduce ourselves.”


Soon, everyone knew everyone else’s names. The Sailor Senshi were Usagi Tsukino as Sailor Moon, Ami Mizuno as Sailor Mercury, Rei Hino as Sailor Mars, Makoto Kino as Sailor Jupiter, and Minako Aino as Sailor Venus. The other teenagers were Jason Lee Scott the original Red Power Ranger, Zack Taylor the original Black Ranger, Kimberly Hart the original Pink Ranger, Billy Cranston the original Blue Ranger, and Trini Kwan the original Yellow Ranger. It was decided that the Rangers would stay with King Dedede, Sty, Jamie, and Bandee while Kirby, the Doctor, Tysar, the Sailor Senshi, Meta Knight, and Zoe would investigate the remaining chronal surge victim. Given the passenger limitations on Kirby’s Warp Star, The Doctor’s team opted for the TARDIS. Naturally, the Sailor Senshi, having never been in a TARDIS before, didn’t initially think they would all fit inside and were astounded by Time Lord Dimensional Engineering! “Impossible!” gasped Sailor Mercury. “The sheer amount of power alone-!”

“Aye,” confirmed Jamie as he and Zoe looked around the TARDIS. “That’s what was going on in our heads when we each first stepped into this bonnie blue place.” He patted the console as if greeting an old friend. The TARDIS beeped appreciatively.

“Even though you’ve redecorated, Doctor,” said Zoe, “it still feels like I’ve come home!” A smile crossed her face.

“Now, Ms. Mizuno,” said the Doctor, “I’d love to give a lecture on how the TARDIS is bigger on the inside, but we’re pressed for time.”

“Good luck, Doctor,” said Jamie as he headed to the doors. “And do try to give the new ones a smooth takeoff, aye?” He then left the TARDIS as the Doctor bridled at that remarked.

“A smooth takeoff?!” she protested as she set the coordinates. “A smooth takeoff?! Infernal cheek!” She pulled the takeoff lever and the TARDIS made its usual noise. Zoe looked around with a smile on her face as memories came flooding to the forefront of her mind.

“This thing’s moving?!” asked Sailor Venus.

“Only a short distance, relatively speaking,” replied the Doctor. “I figured we should at least stay in the current time zone.” The TARDIS then made its usual arrival noise. “And there we are!” She switched on the scanner and got a view of being inside a building. “Right then!” she declared. “Let’s go see!”


The group stepped out to see a Waddle Dee standing next to a door. “Hello there!” called the Doctor. “We’re here to help!” The Waddle-Dee was gobsmacked at the whole thing.

“How did you get here?!” he demanded. “This is the Learning Hall! Only authorized students may enter here!”

“Learning Hall?” repeated Zoe. She then looked at the Doctor with a nasty theory. “Doctor, you don’t think-?”

“I’m hoping not, Zoe,” replied the Doctor, correctly guessing Zoe’s theory. Just then, a Waddle-Dee stepped out.

“High Mind Waddle-Dee!” yelped the guard Waddle-Dee.

“High Mind?” asked Zoe. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“Yes, if it IS them,” recalled the Doctor, “then their High Minds should have had their mental energy drained.”

“Doctor, Zoe, do you know who’s behind this?” asked Sailor Jupiter.

“Yes, but something just doesn’t make sense,” replied the Doctor.

“Would they have made this kind of machine?” asked Sailor Mercury as she pointed out a machine with a headset, buttons, and a screen. The Doctor and Zoe’s eyes went wide.

“I’m afraid they would,” remarked the Doctor. “That test machine all but confirms it, doesn’t it, Zoe?”

“The Krotons,” confirmed Zoe. “But how is one of their victims still alive?”

“Maybe something went wrong with their Dynatrope.”

“Three this time?!” The Guard Waddle-Dee said to his compatriot. “We’d have to kidnap them from Mt. Dedede itself!”

“There’s no other way!” replied the High Mind Waddle-Dee. “Our master was most insistent.”

“…Singular,” observed the Doctor. “Maybe it’s just ONE Kroton.”

“It’s still dangerous,” remarked Zoe. “And we may not be able to obtain enough sulfuric acid.”

“Perhaps we don’t need it yet,” mused the Doctor. She then waved her arm to attract the Waddle-Dees’ attention. “Excuse me! Is your master functioning on a Waddle-Dee only High Mind policy?”

“Well, no,” replied the High Mind Waddle-Dee.

“Splendid,” declared the Doctor as she turned to sit at the test machine…only to see Zoe already there! “ZOE!” she protested.

“Don’t argue, Doctor!” retorted Zoe. “I’m too old for that these days!” She pressed the start button and a series of mathematical symbols rotating in two rings appeared on the screen. Zoe then pressed a sequence of buttons and some of the symbols vanished while the others arranged themselves into a formula. Zoe smiled, then pressed the start button again and performed a different formula. This went on for a while until the test was over. She took off the headset and sighed. “…Maybe this is related to the Krotons’ brainwashing,” she said, “but it’s nice to know I’ve still got it!”

“…No, I think we can chalk that up to appropriately-applied pride to your skills, Zoe,” remarked the Doctor.

“That seems really simple,” said Sailor Mercury. “I want to try it.” Zoe’s smile vanished.

“Sailor Mercury, you can’t-!” she protested.

“The Kroton asked for three this time,” reminded the Doctor. “And as she’s the smartest of the Inner Sailor Senshi, Mercury IS needed. Sailor Mercury, good luck. Simply put on the headset and press the start button.” That’s when a gong sounded.

“…Dinnertime,” shuddered Zoe. The Guard Waddle-Dee then headed to a hole in the wall near the door. The hole opened and he was given a tablet.

“What’s going on?” asked Sailor Moon.

“It’s our master,” replied the Guard Waddle-Dee. “There’s a message for me.”

“What does it say?” asked Tysar. The Guard Waddle-Dee then read the message aloud.

“Class 2-2-4-7. Selected: Female. Zo-Dee.”

“Zo-Dee?!” spluttered Zoe. “Haven’t they updated those learning machines to detect whether or not someone is a native of the species they conquered?!”

“Evidently not,” remarked the Doctor.

“DONE!” called Sailor Mercury. A definite smile was on her face. “It’s like they were pleased with how I did!”

“Sailor Mercury, do be careful!” warned Zoe. “That’s how the Krotons brainwash someone.”

“I always knew school was nothing more than brainwashing!” laughed Sailor Moon. “When I become queen, I’m abolishing schools forever!”

“She doesn’t,” the Doctor muttered to Zoe and the rest of the team. She then sat down at the learning machine, then put on the headset and pressed the start button. She then arranged the symbols…but the symbols bounced back into their circles before the formula could be completed. “Oh, good heavens!” she groaned. “There I go, working in square roots again!” As the Doctor worked on the next question, the message gong rang. The Guard Waddle-Dee retrieved the tablet and read it aloud.

“Class 2-2-4-8. Selected: Female. Ami-Dee.”

“They really don’t know that I’m not a Waddle-Dee?” Sailor Mercury asked Zoe.

“That machine’s quite primitive compared to the TARDIS,” replied Zoe.

“GOT IT!” called the Doctor. “It really is funny, how the Krotons are pleased with you when you answer right.”

“Does that mean they’re not as bad as you say?” asked Sailor Venus. That snapped the Doctor out of it!

“No, no, of course, they’re as bad as I say!” she insisted. The gong rang one more time. “And I’m betting I’m the third course,” muttered the Doctor. The Guard Waddle-Dee read the last tablet aloud.

“Class 2-2-4-9. Selected: Female. Doctor-Dee.”

“‘Doctor-Dee’! IDIOTS!” snapped the Doctor. The door then slid upwards. “…Well, are you two ready?” she asked Zoe and Sailor Mercury.

“Do we really-?” asked Tysar.

“I’m afraid Krotons demand complete obedience,” replied Zoe. “If not, they’ll destroy the Waddle-Dees.”

“Zoe’s right,” said the Doctor. “We’ll play along for now.” The three chosen women steeled themselves, then entered the room. The door slid down behind them.

“…It feels wrong,” muttered Tysar.

“Poyo,” said Kirby comfortingly as he put a hand on hers.

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 7

Meeting of the Stars: Part 1

On an island-sized city, it seemed quiet for the moment. Then…various hover machines raced down the street. On four of the machines were a giant blue penguin in red and gold robes, a navy-blue ball with hands, feet, a mask, a cape, and a sword, an orange blob with eyes, stubs for hands, feet, a spear, and a blue bandana, and a pink ball with eyes, a mouth, stubs for hands, and feet. These were King Dedede, Meta Knight, Bandana Waddle Dee (Bandee to his friends), and Kirby. “POYOYO!” called Kirby.

“Buzz off, punk!” retorted King Dedede. “I’ve been winning Gourmet Races for years!”

“None of them involved Air Ride Machines!” argued Meta Knight.

“Come on, pick up the pace!” laughed Bandee.

“You watch it, boy,” warned King Dedede before he scooped up a cake and scarfed it down, “or Imma throw you in the dungeon!”

“POYO!” snapped Kirby.

“Should have been faster!” laughed King Dedede. Meta Knight then scooped up a burger. “HEY!”

“Apologies, Sire,” replied Meta Knight, “but I am NOT losing this race!” The racers then turned a corner…and a familiar blue box struck the ground along with some strange machine! The racers were sent spinning and the crowd gasped in shock!

“Oogh! No, Escargoon,” mumbled King Dedede, “you’ve got dust in your brain!” He then shook his head and got a better look at what landed in front of him!

“Poyo?” asked Kirby.

“I’m fine, Kirby!” King Dedede dismissed. “But if that box is what I think it is-!”

“It has the same shape as the Doctor’s TARDIS,” said Meta Knight. “But what would her purpose here be?”

“Maybe that Grouping thing Kirby talked about?” asked Bandee.

“Well, whatever it is,” decided King Dedede, “she’s gonna answer for ending the Gourmet Race like that!” He pounded on the TARDIS door. “HEY! OPEN UP! THAT’S A ROYAL-!” The Doctor poked her head out.

“Could you stop bellowing?” she groaned.

“DOCTOR!” called Kirby happily.

“Wait, huh?” asked King Dedede. “Did you just call her-?” He then blinked. “…Doc, did you do that regenification thing Rassilon pulled last time?”

“…You mispronounced that on purpose,” hissed the Doctor. “But yes.”

“Well, in that case…WHAT’S THE IDEA STOPPING A GOURMET RACE LIKE-?!”

“SIRE!” interrupted Meta Knight and Bandee. King Dedede subsided under Meta Knight’s withering gaze but grumbled all the while.

“…Now, Doctor, what IS your reason for coming here?” asked Meta Knight. The Doctor then spotted the machine.

“That ramshackle TARDIS over there,” she replied. “It’s piloted by a madman from my home and I was in pursuit. HE’S the reason behind the Grouping.”

“So he’s why Kirby vanished a while ago?” asked King Dedede. He then summoned his hammer. “Sounds like I need to clobber that there-!” The ramshackle TARDIS opened its door and out stepped the pilot. He was in green robes with a bronze chest piece and a tall bronze helmet with elongated eye slits and a mouth slit. He looked around as if he were a king. “You make a habit of interrupting important stuff?!” snarled King Dedede as he raised his hammer. The pilot caught the hammer as King Dedede swung it down, then he drove his fist into the penguin’s beak! King Dedede squawked in pain and clutched his beak.

“…That…felt…good!” said the figure in perverted happiness. “Nothing like putting an inferior life-form in their place to settle your hearts!”

“I always found that phrase to be an ugly one,” remarked the Doctor. The pilot whirled around and snarled.

“Doctor!” he hissed.

“That’s him?” asked Tysar when she and Sty stepped out.

“Tysar, Sty, get back in the TARDIS!” hissed the Doctor. “This is between me and him!”

“But is that really him?” asked Sty. “Is that…?”

“…Omega,” confirmed the Doctor. “The Mad God.”

“I will simply be addressed as a god, thank you very much!” retorted Omega.

“No, you’re just proving you’re mad. Why don’t you take off your helmet?”

“True, true, it IS rather hot in here.” Omega took his helmet off and revealed a man with long, cascading, blonde hair.

“…You know, I was rather hoping there was nothing there,” remarked the Doctor. “Omega, you need to stop! Your slipshod TARDIS journey is causing chronal surges to spread throughout time and space!”

“And?” asked Omega carelessly.

“…And, it’s causing damage! If you want to get to Gallifrey-!”

“That’s the point, I DON’T need Gallifrey’s coordinates now, especially not from YOU!” The Doctor blinked in surprise.

“…You don’t need Gallifrey’s coordinates? Why?” she asked.

“There are some things I cannot do, not alone,” replied Omega. “One of them is taking on any armed forces on our home world.”

“…This whole mess is just a method of distraction!” realized Tysar. “You caused a mess that plucked me from New Davius and tossed me into a hellhole of a city just because you wanted Gallifrey distracted! You knew they wouldn’t ignore all the chronal surges!”

“Interesting that someone so…exotic would correctly guess the plan,” remarked Omega.

“By ‘exotic’, you mean primitive!” hissed the Doctor. “A nasty word to use against any person or their culture!”

“How else do you describe the lesser races?”

“I don’t call non-Gallifreyans lesser for a start! Save that idiocy for the Daleks!”

“This is all well and good, Doctor,” dismissed Omega, “but you have a mess to clean up.” He scurried into his ramshackle TARDIS and dematerialized, the take-off noise being horrendous. The Doctor rushed towards his TARDIS, but it had already vanished, then an energy wave knocked everyone off their feet. The group picked each other up, but not everyone got out of it with a clear head.

“Oogh! Someone stop the guitar!” mumbled Meta Knight. “It is Fire Dedede, our hero!” He then shook his head, realizing what he said. “I would never say that!”

“Okay, everyone,” groaned the Doctor, “being near the origin of a chronal surge is painful. Have we all learned that lesson?” She then heard multiple groans…some of them from new voices! “…That was quick,” she muttered. She rushed over to the new people. There were twelve in total, Five of the twelve were Japanese girls in their high school ages and seemed to be in sailor-fuku style outfits! The Doctor blinked. “The original Sailor Senshi?” she muttered. She then examined five more. They were American High-schoolers, three boys and two girls. She then found a strange buckle in one of their pockets! “…The original Power Rangers?” She then checked on two more. They were an old man and an old woman. The woman was in a shimmering green cloak and the man was in traditional Highland dress! The Doctor stumbled as she looked past the wrinkles and gray hair. “…Oh my word,” she said. The old man and old woman groaned and the Doctor eased them up. “Easy. …Easy now.”

“Thank you kindly,” said the old man in a Scots brogue. He looked around and goggled in surprise when he saw the old woman. “I don’t believe it!” The old woman looked back and gasped.

“Jamie!” she said.

“Zoe!” replied the old man. The two hugged like old siblings. “I never-!” stammered Jamie. “I-I mean, I thought, after all that wee bit of story time-!”

“I was afraid of that too!” replied Zoe. She then got a good look at her surroundings. “…It looks like whatever took you from your home took me as well!” By now, those that were conscious were giving the two their full attention, the Doctor amazed that Jamie and Zoe were acting the way they were. By then, the Sailor Senshi groaned. Tysar helped them up.

“It’s all right,” she assured. “We’ll get you home.”

“My head!” grumbled Sailor Moon. Her stomach then growled. “Dang it! And I’m hungry too!”

“Always thinking with your stomach, huh?” muttered Sailor Mars.

“Better that than wearing heels in battle!” snapped Sailor Moon. That’s when the remaining teenagers groaned.

“My head!” complained the young man in red clothing. He and his friends then saw everyone. “HOLY-!”

“All right, is that everyone conscious?” asked the Doctor.

“I think so,” replied Sailor Mercury as she nervously smoothed her blue hair.

“Then it’s time for a little rundown,” decided the Doctor. “There’s a lunatic from my home planet’s history. He was once stuck in a place called the Underverse, but he’s escaped and fully corporeal now. He’s created a ramshackle TARDIS that, every time he takes off, creates these energy waves called chronal surges. They have a tendency to pluck someone from their native point in space-time and put them somewhere else.”

“Poyo,” muttered Kirby as he raised his hand.

“Yes, Kirby can tell you how annoying that is,” continued the Doctor.

“But with this mess going on with a TARDIS,” said Jamie, “won’t the Time Lords pick up on it?”

“…That’s twice now, Jamie,” remarked the Doctor. “You shouldn’t know anything about the Time Lords, not after…well…”

“That business with the War Chief and his War Lord pals?” asked Jamie.

“Oh, we remember, all right,” confirmed Zoe. “…And following that logic, if you know that specific event…”

“Hey, hang on!” said Jamie as he finally saw the TARDIS. “That’s OUR TARDIS! THE TARDIS!” Jamie then gave his full attention to the Doctor. “Does that mean-?! …I mean, the Doctor I traveled with and I met up with someone in a patchwork coat that said HE was the Doctor!”

“What?!” asked Zoe.

“That was before we met you,” explained Jamie. “Those two said that a Time Lord can change their face and personality when they’re about to die.”

“But the memories of our previous life stay intact,” continued the Doctor. “I had forgotten you met my sixth incarnation as well as my second, Jamie McCrimmon. I seem to recall we faced the Androgums and Sontarans in that little adventure.”

“Och, it IS you!” cheered Jamie.

“Doctor!” gasped Zoe.

“It’s great to see you again, Jamie and Zoe Heriot!” replied the Doctor as she pulled them into a hug. The three old friends had happy tears streaming down their faces.

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 6

The Warrior’s Cell: Part 4

“…Y-You mean, everything the Doctor and Kirby said…is true?!” stammered Whis, his world crumbling around him.

“Yes,” replied Grand Zeno matter-of-factly. “I’ve long learned that there’s no such thing as a perfect being and who would want that? You look at the history of all the universes, and you’ll find that only tyrants say that and I don’t wanna be a tyrant. I’ve made mistakes and I learned from them. You’d be wise to learn from yours, Whis, not just cover them up in our usual indifference to mortals.”

“DONE!” called the Doctor. Everyone gave their attention to her and Kirby.

“All done!” confirmed Kirby. He then spotted Grand Zeno. “Oh! Hi!” The Doctor looked up and goggled.

“G-Grand Zeno?!” she yelped. “S-Sir, this matter with Cell is just a mortal trifle-!”

“I know,” replied Grand Zeno. “I’m gonna be going anyways. Beerus and Whis just needed to know that what you and Kirby said about me was right.” The Doctor smiled.

“Very kind of you to say, Grand Zeno,” she said.

“Oh, before I go, Doctor,” Grand Zeno handed the Doctor a button.

“Hey! You can visit him too!” called Goku.

“No, Goku, this is different to the button I gave you,” corrected Grand Zeno. “It’s only for emergencies that the rest of the gods and I think require a mortal touch, and the Grouping is one such mess. It only works in your TARDIS, Doctor. Press the green button when it flashes to get the briefing of whatever trouble we need your help with and press the yellow button to get to the spot where that trouble started. Squeeze the border of the device to teleport you back into this universe wherever you started once the trouble is over and you’re back in your TARDIS.”

“You of all people are asking for my help?” asked the Doctor. “The Grouping MUST be bad, then.”

“In the meantime, if you’re really done with your machine,” said Grand Zeno, “you’d better get on with it. I’ll see you around, Doctor!” He then vanished, leaving Whis and Beerus very shaken.

“…Well, it came from your highest superior, you two,” remarked the Doctor. “Perfection is best left for tyrants to flail around for. …Speaking of tyrants, we need to get to Cell.”

“I got a lock on him!” called Goku. “He’s outside of South City! Everyone, grab ahold!”

“Oh no, you don’t, Kakarot!” protested Vegeta. “I’m not doing that instant-!”

“Come on, Vegeta! We can’t always rely on Whis!” argued Goku.

“Goku, what is Vegeta talking about?” asked the Doctor.

“My Instant Transmission technique,” replied Goku.

“…That’s a Yardrat technique! How did you-?!”

“It’s a long story,” interrupted Goku. “Let’s just go. Everyone, get close!” Everyone gathered near to Goku and put a hand on him. Goku then put his pointer and middle finger onto his forehead and concentrated. In just a matter of milliseconds…the group vanished!


Cell was charging up an attack, ready to cause terror to summon Goku, when the group appeared. “Ah! So you just came running at the sound of potential terror!” laughed Cell. “Well, better be ready, Son Goku!” Cell fired, then Kirby leapt into the attack’s path and inhaled it. He then changed from Time Lord Kirby to Fighter Kirby.

“POYO!” he challenged.

“…Is that gonna be a thing these days?” muttered Cell. He then saw Goku adopt a familiar stance.

“Ka…me…ha…me…HAAAAAA!” shouted Goku as he thrust his hands forward and fired the Kamehameha Wave at Cell. Cell batted it aside.

“Goku, you DO remember that your DNA is a part of me, right?” asked Cell.

“RISING BREAK!” called Kirby as he delivered an uppercut to Cell’s jaw. Cell let himself get knocked into the air, planning on frying the pink menace, then he saw Goku put himself against the sun and put his hands to his head.

“SOLAR FLARE!” shouted Goku. A bright light filled Cell’s eyes and blinded him. Kirby took advantage of Cell’s blindness.

“VULCAN JAB!” Kirby jabbed Cell in the stomach, winding him. Cell collapsed to the ground.

“H-How-?!” he gasped.

“SPIN KICK!” shouted Kirby. He spun around and delivered multiple roundhouse kicks to Cell’s face.

“And for good measure!” called Goku. He then slammed his elbow into Cell’s gut, winding him again.

“NOW!” called the Doctor. Goku and Kirby broke off as the Doctor switched the machine on. An energy cage surrounded Cell. “Now, let’s see if I can actually send him back unlike what happened on Earth last time.” She pressed a few buttons. “Let’s see…aha! So, he came from then! Let’s send him back there!” She then flicked a switch. “Erasing his recent memories and…” Cell and the energy cage then vanished. “And there we go! Whis, could you double-check things?”

“Very well, Doctor,” replied Whis. He looked into his staff. “…Well, looks like time unfolded as it’s supposed to. Cell’s still in Hell.”

“In that case, Kirby, you ready?” “Kirby knew what the Doctor was driving at.

“Poyo!” he agreed.

“What’s going on?” asked Goku.

“A victory dance!” replied the Doctor. “Just follow along with Kirby!” She pulled Goku into the group and the two of them danced along with Kirby.

“HAI!” Kirby called at the end of the dance.

“That was actually fun!” chuckled Goku. “I gotta do a victory dance sometimes!”

“And look more ridiculous than you do right now, Kakarot?” scoffed Vegeta.

“Oh, don’t be such a sourpuss, Vegeta!” complained Goku. His stomach then growled. “…Hey, before we send Kirby back, maybe we could get some food in us?”

“Poyo,” agreed Kirby as his own tummy grumbled.

“I’ll take us back,” offered Whis.


After Whis took them all back to Capsule Corp, everyone was eating well. The Saiyans were in an impromptu eating contest with Kirby when they discovered how much he could eat! “How much do you want to bet they’ll lose?” Beerus asked Whis.

“That’s too easy of a bet to make, Lord Beerus,” remarked Whis. The Saiyans finally stopped.

“Phew! That hit the spot!” said Goku. “What do you think, Vegeta? …V-Vegeta?”

“Kakarot, LOOK!” yelped Vegeta as he pointed at Kirby. Goku goggled in surprise at seeing Kirby still going! By now, everyone was looking at the little pink puffball.

“…He just ate 57 Saiyan-sized full-course meals!” gulped Bulma.

“I lost count at 40,” replied the Doctor. Kirby finished his meal and sighed.

“…Poyo?” he asked the Capsule Corp waiter as he held out his bowl. Everyone yelped.

“Kirby, I think you’ve had enough!” gulped Tysar. Kirby looked at the bowl, then nodded. He then pulled out the dessert menu.

“Poyo!” he said. Everyone yelped again.


After the banquet, Goku and Vegeta joined with Beerus and Whis. “So long!” called Goku. “We’re doing some training!”

“Be careful, you two, all right?!” called Bulma.

“Kirby,” said Whis, attracting Kirby’s attention. Kirby looked at the Angel. “…Keep up the good work, will you? The universe needs some joy these days.”

“Poyo!” replied Kirby with a smile. Whis then transported himself, his master, and the Saiyans away from the planet.

“And then there was you, Kirby,” mused the Doctor. “I’ve disabled the memory-wipe, since you only traveled a few seconds into the past instead of years into the future and space-travel isn’t unusual for you. You’ll be able to remember your adventures here.” She fixed up the machine she and Kirby built and switched it on.

“It was fun having you, Kirby!” cheered Bulma. “See you later!”

“Poyo!” bid Kirby as the machine took him back.

“…And now there’s us,” said the Doctor. “That’s these chronal surges fixed up.”

“Doctor, you sure you don’t want to stay a bit longer?” asked Bulma.

“I can’t, Dr. Briefs,” replied the Doctor. “Tysar needs to get back to New Davius, and I need to continue fixing up the Grouping.”

“Just keep us informed if any chronal surges take anyone, okay?” asked Tysar.

“Will do,” promised Bulma. “Of course, that’s if I don’t wish on the Dragonballs to fix that.”

“I don’t think Shenron can undo the Grouping, but you’re welcome to try,” remarked the Doctor. She and Tysar returned to the TARDIS, and it took off.

“Bye, Doctor!” called Bulma. That was when the waiter arrived.

“The bill for that banquet, Ma’am,” he said.

“Oh, yeah, that. Let’s…” Bulma paled when she saw how much money it cost. “…That’s…triple…my usual…food budget!” she whimpered.


“I had heard Saiyans can eat a lot,” remarked Tysar, “but I didn’t think they ate that much.”

“Well, it’s a bit to do with biology,” replied the Doctor. “The Saiyans can burn through calories faster than most humanoid species. The food on the planet of Vegeta was rich in calories, so the normal human portions would have filled their bellies if they used their ingriedients. Sadly, those ingriedients died along with the planet and species.”

“I heard about the Vegeta Catastrophe,” said Tysar.

“If you heard it was a catastrophe, then you didn’t get the full story,” corrected the Doctor. “Those in the know call it the Saiyan Genocide.”

“…Daleks?”

“No, but that WOULD be their MO. No, this was the result of an Ice-jin mutant called Frieza.” As the Doctor explained, the TARDIS spun through the Time Vortex, probing for the next chronal surge.

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 6

The Warrior’s Cell: Part 3

“YOU GAVE THAT THING THE ABILITIES OF A TIME LORD?!” protested Beerus.

“And granted him speech, by the look of it!” remarked Whis in terror.

“What are you two so afraid of?!” demanded Vegeta.

“We can discuss that later, Prince Vegeta,” replied Kirby. “Right now, we have a problem.”

“Yes, Cell’s appearance in this time and how we can’t kill him or it would cause a bigger mess than the Grouping,” remarked Beerus.

“I’m surprised the Grouping’s not a myth,” remarked Vegeta.

“Oh, it’s real, Vegeta,” replied the Doctor. “It was a chronal surge that took Cell out of his time and put him here and did the same for Kirby.”

“And we gotta stop it!” declared Goku.

“And how do we do that, Kakarot?” asked Vegeta. “You know Beerus and Whis’ views on time travel! Just look at what they did to Bulma’s time machine!”

“We’ll discuss their hypocrisy later,” said the Doctor.

“Excuse me?!” snarled Beerus.

“Like I said, later,” insisted the Doctor. “Right now, Kirby and I need to work on sending Cell back as he’s the most dangerous.”

“Agreed,” said Kirby.

“Now, let’s pool our experiences,” directed the Doctor.

“Telepathically?” asked Kirby.

“Seems the best way.”

“…All right. Contact.”

“Contact.” As the Doctor and Kirby had their telepathic conference, Beerus snarled.

“Hypocrisy?!” he ranted. “Of all the disrespectful-!”

“Well, you didn’t really destroy HER time machine, Beerus,” remarked Goku.

“Watch it, Goku, or I’ll destroy you!” warned Beerus as he summoned a ball of purple and black energy. Goku wisely backed off.

“Besides, Grand Zeno has ordered that Gallifrey is untouchable, as is the society of Time Lords,” remarked Whis.

“All right!” declared the Doctor once she and Kirby were finished.

“We have an idea,” explained Kirby, “but we’ll need Bulma’s notes on her time machine.”

“What?!” yelped Bulma. “Are you trying to get me in trouble with Beerus and Whis here?!”

“You kept notes on that thing?” asked Beerus menacingly.

“They’ll be properly destroyed when we’re done, Lord Beerus,” assured Kirby. “Now, come on, Dr. Briefs. Let’s get those notes.”

“Right, come on,” said Bulma. She led Kirby to the lab. Whis and Beerus shuddered once Kirby left.

“Beastly thing!” gulped Whis.

“What’s your problem with him?” asked Goku.

“They’re afraid of what he represents,” replied the Doctor.

“I fear nothing, Doctor!” snarled Beerus.

“That’s a lie, you fear the ultimate truth that even someone like Grand Zeno is capable of a mistake and Kirby is living proof of that.”

“BLASPHEMY!” shouted Whis.

“Truth,” retorted the Doctor. “Why else would Grand Zeno look for new experiences?”

“She’s right, you know,” said Kirby as he and Bulma returned with the notes. “Now, I made sure Bulma purged every single paper relating to time travel from her computers and backups, but we need to keep these physical copies until the machine the Doctor and I will build is complete. Let’s get to work, Doctor.”

“Right.” The Doctor and Kirby got to work.


It was taking a long time and Goku and Vegeta amused themselves with sparring. The shockwaves and noises of their blows and banter caught the Doctor’s attention. “Goodness,” she said. “The Saiyan desire for dominance comes to the fore when those two play.”

“They haven’t fully gotten along,” remarked Whis. “Now, Doctor…”

“Make it quick, Whis,” directed the Doctor. “Kirby and I are busy.”

“It’s about what you said about Grand Zeno,” explained Whis. “You seriously believe even the Omni-king is imperfect like you mortals?”

“The Omni-king I heard about,” explained the Doctor, “at least during the childhood I remember, always sought new playmates because he wanted to learn about how his creations functioned. That was sometime after he destroyed six universes because of his sour mood. …But he can’t do that if his attendants are so…clinical.”

“I’ll have you know that my father is the Grand Minister,” warned Whis.

“A being that needs to improve,” remarked Kirby. “ALL beings need to improve.”

“Then why devour them before they get the chance?” asked Whis coldly.

“You’re talking as if the void my stomach is connected to acts like Hakai energy or something,” said Kirby. Whis arched an eyebrow. “…Ah, so that’s why you feared me.”

“But Fecto Elfilis-,” muttered Whis.

“He’s being subjected to an emotion he forgot about…joy. He’ll come back when he relearns it, as will all my previous enemies. Some of them take multiple attempts while others, like Susie or Magalor, rediscover that for themselves.”

“You’re saying they’re coming back?” asked Whis.

“As better versions of themselves,” confirmed Kirby. “Ask any Waddle-Dee and they’ll tell you how they came back. Gods seem to forget what makes life fun and happy, focusing too much on cosmic threats and doom and gloom. But there’s more to life than that. Heck, look at Beerus, he’s become friends with the Saiyans and I’ll bet you, deep down, he enjoys it because it reminds him what his job is supposed to be about.”

“…I suppose that IS true, but myself-.”

“You’ve become friends with Bulma, haven’t you?” asked the Doctor.

“…W-Well, yes, but-.”

“Then you’ve personally been made better,” said the Doctor. “A person is defined by more than enemies or allies. There’s something stronger than that…friends. I had to learn how to make friends outside of my family during my first incarnation and Susan proved to be the best teacher in that regard. She helped me along in eventually becoming friends with Ian and Barbara. I know, I know, their lives are brief compared to mine, but the way I see it, having worthwhile friends despite brief lives makes my own life all the more fulfilling. It looks like the same could be said for you, but your indoctrination has been holding you back.”

“B-But-!” Whis was floundering. Never, in all his existence, had he been challenged like this!

“Whis,” said Kirby, “life’s better with friends, otherwise there’s no point to existence. Now, if you’ll excuse us, the Doctor and I need to finish this thing.” Kirby and the Doctor resumed their work. Whis…just stood there for a while, then had to walk away. What they said had managed to set what he learned on its ear.


Beerus overheard the whole conversation. He pondered his next move and realized that what he had in mind would be so easy. He looked up to the sky to see Goku and Vegeta sparring as they were wont to do. “…Hmmm. …He DOES have that button,” the God of Destruction said to himself. “…Yes, I think that will do.” He then cupped his hands to his mouth. “HEY! GOKU! VEGETA! QUIT FIGHTING AND COME DOWN HERE!” Goku and Vegeta looked down…and promptly punched each other in the jaw, making them plummet down to earth. Beerus pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. The two Saiyans then approached Beerus.

“What’s up, Beerus?” asked Goku.

“Is it about Cell?” quizzed Vegeta.

“Goku, you still have that button Grand Zeno gave to you?” asked Beerus.

“Yeah, why?” replied Goku.

“I need to ask him something. Could you use it?”

“What could you possibly need to ask him personally, Lord Beerus?” asked Vegeta.

“That will be revealed in time,” replied Beerus. “Now, Goku, if you please.”

“It must be important if you of all people want to talk to him,” remarked Goku as he pulled out a purple circular device with a blue button on one side and a red button on the other. Goku pressed the blue button and a being the size of a child appeared. He wore light purple and white robes with gold trim, had blue skin, and his head had purple areas on each side, framing his childish face. Right now, the being was confused.

“Huh?” he asked. “What’s going on?” He looked at Goku and brightened up. “Oh! Hi Goku!”

“Hi Zenny!” replied Goku, using the being’s nickname.

“Did you want to play?” asked the being, Grand Zeno. “Because, for once, I can’t play. There’s something called the Grouping going on.”

“Actually, Lord Beerus wanted to ask you something,” answered Goku. Beerus bowed low to Grand Zeno.

“My apologies for distracting you from whatever work you were doing in response to the Grouping the Doctor is engaged with,” said Beerus.

“The Doctor? You mean the Time Lord known as the Doctor?” asked Grand Zeno. “So they’re working on the Grouping? Good.”

“Grand Zeno, the Grouping has brought the Devourer here and-.”

“Why do you call Kirby the Devourer?” asked Grand Zeno.

“…His appetite precedes him, my Lord. He’s recently gained a Copy Ability based on the Time Lords and got the ability to speak and I overheard a conversation between him, Whis, and the Doctor.”

“What was the conversation about?” Beerus then told Grand Zeno everything.

“…Bit bold of the Doctor and Kirby to say all that to an Angel,” remarked Vegeta.

“…Whis, could you come here for a second?” called Grand Zeno.

“Oh! My Lord Zeno! My apologies!” chuckled Whis as he approached. “How are you doing today?”

“Whis, it sounds like you were hit hard with the truth of the Doctor and Kirby’s words,” replied Grand Zeno. …Time stood still for Whis at that revelation.

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 6

The Warrior’s Cell: Part 2

The group arrived at an open area near the city. “Sorry, my Lord,” said Whis, “what were you-?”

“YOU BROUGHT KIRBY!” shouted Beerus. Whis goggled when he realized his mistake.

“Oh dear!” he gulped.

“I can’t fathom how a member of an extradimensional species,” remarked the Doctor, “can be afraid of Kirby.” Before Whis could protest, the Doctor turned to Goku. “Goku, you can sense energy, yes?”

“Yeah, and he’s right ahead of us!” warned Goku, a determined look crossing his face. And he was. The Doctor arched an eyebrow, her scientific curiosity at the forefront.

“Most intriguing,” she muttered about the figure ahead of them. “Exo-skeletal structure, vague cross between a humanoid and an insect…and a stinger as well, hidden under the wings-.”

“A perfect creature,” remarked the figure, the bio-android, Cell!

“That’s relative,” dismissed the Doctor as she examined the horn-like crown. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were the result of the Daleks’ mutant phase.”

“You shouldn’t be here, Cell!” snarled Goku as he got into a fighting stance.

“Oh, come on, Goku,” chuckled Cell. “I can go where I wish.”

“Yeah, well it didn’t get you far now, did it?!” taunted Bulma. “This is Age 782 and-!”

“BULMA, ZIP IT!” shouted Tysar as she clamped her hand over Bulma’s mouth.

“Thank you, Tysar,” called the Doctor.

“Age 782?” asked Cell. “Wait a minute, I came from that era! Why isn’t Earth a bunch of ruins and-?! …No! No, I’m not-!”

“You are, insect,” replied Beerus as he stepped forward with the usual swagger of a god. “But I’m halfway tempted to just destroy you right here and now.”

“Insect?! You say that so derogatorily to the Perfect Being?!” snarled Cell.

“Trust me, you’re as imperfect as a human.” Beerus raised his hand. “Hakai.”

“BEERUS, NO-!” called the Doctor. Then…painful feedback ripped up Beerus’ arm.

“What in-?!” spluttered the God of Destruction. “How-?!”

“His death IS set in stone, my Lord,” reminded Whis. “Hakai can’t be used on someone who is fated to die.”

“DEATH?! IMPOSSIBLE!” shouted Cell.

“Whis, you-!” The Doctor ran her hand down her face in frustration.

“Welp, cat’s out of the bag,” remarked Bulma. “Yeah, Cell, you died in Age 767, at the hands of Gohan. He destroyed everything, right down to your nucleus. We used the Dragonballs to wish everyone back, and that included Androids 17 and 18.”

“Gohan is a coward who hates fighting!” argued Cell. “I couldn’t possibly die to him!”

“Well, believe it or not, your acceptance doesn’t matter,” said the Doctor. “Your memory of this time will be wiped and you’ll be returned to your proper point in time.”

“I don’t think so, Madam!” Cell conjured energy in his fingertips. “MAKANKŌSAPPŌ!”

“EVERYBODY OUT OF HERE!” shouted Goku. Cell fired a beam of energy with a spiral around it. Everyone except Kirby leapt out of the way. Kirby simply opened his mouth and inhaled the attack. Cell goggled at the scene in front of him. Kirby swallowed the attack and leapt into the air, spinning for a bit before a red ribbon with a star on it appeared and tied itself into a headband for Kirby. Kirby then punched the air in front of him and assumed a fighting stance.

“And the Copy Abilities come into play!” complained Beerus as Whis looked into his staff.

“It looks like, on his native Popstar, that form’s called Fighter Kirby,” remarked the angel.

“Fighter Kirby?!” asked Goku excitedly.

“Now look what you’ve done, Whis!” grumbled Beerus.

“Oh dear,” sighed Whis as he realized his mistake.

“Goku, save your fighting instincts for Cell,” directed the Doctor.

“Is he always looking for a fight?” Tysar whispered to the Doctor.

“It’s Saiyan nature AND nurture,” sighed the Doctor.

“Oh, a Saiyan. Yeah, that makes sense.” Tysar nodded as she recalled what Thal Intelligence said about Saiyans.

“You’re seriously throwing a pink puffball at me?” scoffed Cell.

“Did you not see him swallow your attack?!” protested Beerus.

“I’ll take him on!” insisted Cell as he threw a punch at Kirby…only for Kriby to roll out of the way.

“RISING BREAK!” called Kirby as he delivered an energy charged uppercut to Cell’s jaw. Cell was sent flying, much to his surprise. He caught himself in the air and goggled.

“Okay, time! Time out!” he called. “How is that pink puffball capable of that level of strength?!”

“I’d rather not explain,” replied the Doctor. “Whis, we need to retreat. He’s the exact opposite of cooperative.”

“Yes, I quite agree,” remarked Whis. The Doctor then grabbed Kirby. “Oh no! Not this time!” insisted Whis.

“Whis, get over your cowardice of Kirby and get us out of here!” snapped the Doctor.

“See here-!” protested Whis.

“Ka…me…” said Cell. Everyone looked back to see that he had stretched his arms out and cupped his hands. He then pulled the hands to the right of his waist. “Ha…me…”

“WHIS! NOW!” called Goku. Whis surrounded everyone, even Kirby, in a bubble.

“HAAAAAAAA!” Cell thrust out his hands and fired a huge stream of energy. Thankfully, the bubble vanished in time. Cell growled to himself. “So that’s a thing! …Well, I’d better fix things and not waste time on the Cell Games in this new era!


The group ended up in another part of the plains outside the city. “Not exactly ideal, but the best we can do, given the circumstances,” muttered the Doctor.

“Poyo?” asked Kirby.

“Right, we’d better fill you in, Kirby,” said the Doctor. “You see, you were taken out of your time and place, just like Cell. You came from this world’s future while Cell came from the past. We’re trying to send Cell back and wipe his mind so history can proceed as normal. With you, we don’t need to wipe your mind. …And Whis and his ‘Master’, Beerus, seem to be afraid of you, for some reason.”

“Ask Kirby about Nightmare! Dark Matter! Zero!” insisted Beerus.

“Or Dark Mind! Dark Nebula! Star Dream!” continued Whis.

“Void Termina! Fecto Elfilis! Galactic Nova!” finished Beerus.

“All of those had rather wicked ambitions, right?” asked the Doctor. “I know Fecto Elfilis did. …Kirby, did you really beat Fecto Elfilis?” Kirby nodded. “Ooh, I’d like the details!”

“Doctor, do we really have time to do that?” asked Tysar. “We still need to figure out how to deal with Cell.”

“…I should have something to help in that regard,” mused the Doctor. “But I’d need another Time Lord to help and they’re all on Gallifrey trying to help with the Grouping.”

“Then Rassilon was successful?” asked Whis.

“She asked for my help, but yes. …Wait a minute…” The Doctor then snapped her fingers. “I need to get back to the TARDIS!”

“Doctor?” asked Tysar.

“Trust me, there’s something in there we can use to solve this situation!”

“Right then, back to Capsule Corp,” said Beerus. “Whis-.”

“Good heavens, my lord! I’m not a taxi service!” complained Whis.

“Whis, please!” insisted the Doctor.

“Oh, very well. But when we fight Cell, it’s going to be Goku bringing us there.” Whis made his bubble and everyone vanished.


At Capsule Corp, a short, black-haired man with his hair pulled up to the sky and wearing blue spandex and white armor was looking around the place. “Earth Woman, where are you?!” he demanded. He arrived at the balcony and saw the TARDIS. “…What’s Bulma bought now?!” growled the man. Whis’ bubble then appeared and everyone arrived. “There you are!” snapped the man when he saw Bulma. The Doctor goggled when she saw the man.

“That’s impossible!” she whispered. “Y-You perished along with your planet, King Vegeta!”

“…You know of my people, then?” asked the man. “I’m not my father. I’m Prince Vegeta.”

“Ah, yes, the crown prince,” realized the Doctor.

“Bulma, what’s with the blue box?!” Vegeta demanded.

“That’s not mine,” replied Bulma. “That’s the Doctor’s.” She pointed out the Doctor.

“A doctor, huh?” scoffed Vegeta.

“Not A doctor, Prince,” corrected Whis. “THE Doctor. From Gallifrey.”

“WHAT?!” Vegeta goggled in surprise.

“You know about the Time Kings, Vegeta?” asked Goku.

“It’s Time LORD, Kakarot!” snapped Vegeta.

“Thank you, your Highness,” said the Doctor. “One second! Er, could someone fill Vegeta in on the current crisis?” She dashed into the TARDIS. As she searched for…whatever it was she was searching for, everyone filled Vegeta in.

“…I always thought the Grouping was a myth,” remarked Vegeta, “but if it really IS happening…”

“That’s how the Devourer got here,” shuddered Beerus as he pointed at Kirby. Whis took a step to the side.

“…Is he related to Majin Buu?” asked Vegeta.

“I don’t think so,” replied the Doctor as she came out, carrying a Time Lord Collar.

“…Erm, Doctor, what’s that uncomfortable thing supposed to do?” asked Whis.

“It’s not for me,” replied the Doctor. “Kirby, if you please?”

“Poyo!” replied Kirby as he gave up the Fighter Copy Ability. He then swallowed the collar, spun in the air, then the collar appeared on his shoulders, a skull cap fitted onto his head, and robes came out of the collar. “TIME LORD KIRBY!” called Kirby.

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 6

The Warrior’s Cell: Part 1

It was a warm, sunny day in West City. People were going about their business as usual. Over in a large, dome shaped building, a group of people were relaxing and eating on a balcony. One of the people, a man with spiky, black hair, was chowing down with no signs of stopping. Given that his biology required a lot of calories, it was no surprise. The owner of the building, a blue-haired woman, was off to the side with a blue-skinned man with white hair. “I’m surprised you could find some time in your schedule to visit, Whis,” remarked the blue-haired woman.

“Well, Lady Bulma,” sighed the blue-skinned man, Whis, “when you serve someone like Lord Beerus,” he indicated the humanoid, purple, hairless cat with an Egyptian motif in his clothes that was napping in the sun, “you tend to have a lot of free time. Then again, a visit to your world is ALWAYS delightful when you invite us.”

“Yeah, barring any threats,” muttered the blue-haired woman, Dr. Bulma Briefs.

“I don’t know, you and your friends seem to handle them quite well.”


Meanwhile, Beerus lazily reached for something…only to realize that what he was reaching for wasn’t there. “Hm?” He lazily opened an eye. His eyes bugged out when it hit him. “HEY! WAIT A MINUTE! WHERE’S MY CASHEW PORK?!” he demanded.

“Oops! Sorry!” replied the black-haired man childishly.

“You glutton, Goku!” snarled Beerus. “That was my naptime snack! I ought to destroy you for this!”

“Oh, come on!” complained Goku. “That’s not fair! It was just so good!”

“Keep talking, let’s see how far-!” Beerus’ ear twitched. “…On second thought, there’s something that requires investigation. Whis!”

“I hear it too, my Lord,” replied Whis.

“Isn’t that the TARDIS?” asked Bulma.

“Well, with Gallifrey having come back, it’s certainly A TARDIS,” said Whis.

“Hey! Over there!” called Goku as the Doctor’s TARDIS materialized.

“What’s going on here?” mused Beerus as something more interesting than food held his attention for the moment. “Why are they coming here?”

“Well, we can always ask,” replied Whis. The TARDIS doors opened and the Doctor and Tysar stepped out.

“You took off after those readings like the Daleks were chasing us, Doctor,” said Tysar. “What’s wrong?”

“Two chronal surges centered around here according to Gallifrey, that’s what,” replied the Doctor. “That means the Grouping’s starting to get worse.”

“Ah! Lady Doctor!” greeted Whis. The Doctor looked up and goggled.

“Whis!” returned the Doctor. “And Lord Beerus! Good to see you again!” She then spotted Goku and Bulma. “And you, Goku and Bulma!”

“…I don’t think we met before,” remarked Goku.

“I KNOW we never met before,” said Bulma. “Where’s the Doctor?”

“That IS the Doctor,” said Beerus.

“Huh?!” yelped Goku and Bulma.

“Don’t you remember?” asked the Doctor. “That whole business with Frieza wanting to make a wish on the Dragon Balls but you and Amy made your own wishes, Bulma?”

“Good grief, it IS you!” called Bulma. “But how?! You’re completely different!”

“Time Lords tend to change their physical makeup when they’re about to die somehow,” replied Whis. “Now, Lady Doctor…what’s this about the Grouping? Surely it already happened?”

“…I’m afraid there’s a new one and…I’m partially to blame,” replied the Doctor. “You see, Amy was encouraged by her future to come with me, then a whole thing surrounding the TARDIS happened on Gallifrey, resulting in the TARDIS’ heart bi-generating so the old heart becomes the new Eye of Harmony-.”

“And that released its stabilization over the paradox surrounding Amy,” finished Whis, “resulting in chronal surges. I see you have a Thal with you. Does that mean Amy told her past to go with you?”

“Yes, and she’s on Mobius. Her return there is another thing that I really don’t have time to explain. I’m trying to send people back to their native times like Tysar here.”

“Hello,” said Tysar. “Turns out the frequency of chronal surges is happening faster. I got plucked from New Davius and landed in Gotham, then we had to save Martin Luther King Jr.”

“Hm, that IS a worry,” remarked Whis. He then summoned his staff out of thin air and peered into it. “Hm, You’re right, two chronal surges are on approach. One is centered around this planet, the other…I’m not too sure I-.” That was when the chronal surges washed over everyone.

“Oh heavens!” gulped the Doctor.

“They arrived at the same time,” shuddered Whis. “It really IS getting worse!”

“Doctor, what does that mean?!” asked Tysar.

“Time is unravelling,” replied the Doctor. “All we’re doing is treating the symptoms when we should be finding the cause.”

“I’m afraid I can’t help you much there,” sighed Whis as he peered into his staff again. “While that paradox surrounding Amy was the seed, I don’t think it’s your TARDIS’ old heart becoming the new Eye of Harmony that’s the source.”

“We’ll discuss those theories later,” said the Doctor. “Right now, we need to find who was taken or brought here and bring them back to their original points in space/time.”

“Now that, I CAN help you there,” smiled Whis. “It looks like no one from the present was taken. It looks like one chronal surge took someone from the past and put them here while the other surge took someone from just a few seconds in the future to right here. …It looks like that last one-.”

“Poyo?” asked a childish voice.

“Hm?” Beerus looked down at his feet…then yowled in terror and scrambled up to a higher place!

“Lord Beerus, why are you acting-?” Whis trailed off when he saw what Beerus was freaking out over. It was a pink ball with a face, stumps for arms, and big feet!

“Kirby?!” yelped the Doctor.

“LORD BEERUS, MOVE OVER!” Whis shrieked in terror as he tried to join his master.

“NO! FIND YOUR OWN BUTT SHELTER!” shouted Beerus in a panic. Everyone just stared at the God and Angel scrambling to get away from Kirby.

“…Lord Beerus, Whis, what on Earth is wrong with you?” asked the Doctor. “Kirby’s got an appetite, yes, but-.”

“Don’t you know that thing’s reputation, Doctor?!” yelped Whis girlishly.

“Doctor?” asked Kirby as he tilted his face in confusion.

“Yes, Kirby, it’s me,” replied the Doctor. “Remember when we fought the Weeping Angels on Popstar? You sucked up Rassilon’s regeneration energy and became Time Lord Kirby. And we won against the Angels too.”

“Doctor!” cheered Kirby happily as he leapt into the Doctor’s arms.

“It’s good to see you too, Kirby!” replied the Doctor happily.

“Doctor, you’re friends with a Star Warrior?” asked Tysar.

“Oh, you know about them?” quizzed the Doctor. “I met Kirby when I was on a quest for the Key to Time. I remember Kirby being a hungry boy.”

“Doctor, that pink menace eats and eats and eats! Even gods have been consumed by him!” protested Beerus. “My Hakai technique won’t do any good!”

“For your own safety, please get away from him and let me send him back!” urged Whis.

“Oh, come now!” dismissed the Doctor as she set Kirby down. “He’s not dangerous to his friends and he’s made many friends!”

“Hold on, Beerus,” said Goku, “he’s scary to you and Whis?”

“Goku, you’re not thinking of fighting that horror, are you?!” argued Whis. “Even Grand Zeno wouldn’t dare!”

“Whis, you’re just exciting Goku!” snarled Beerus.

“I wouldn’t bother picking a fight, Goku,” said the Doctor. “Kirby’s not a fighter by nature.”

“Aw!” complained Goku. “But I wanna know how strong he is!” Kirby then saw the food and gurgled happily. He then opened his mouth and inhaled! The food flew into his mouth and Kirby only stopped when it was all gone! Bulma and Goku goggled in surprise.

“That was enough to feed ten Saiyans!” yelped Bulma.

“He’s called the Devourer among us gods and angels for a reason!” called Beerus. “Now let Whis get rid of him and-!”

“Absolutely not!” defended the Doctor. “We might need him to help out with the other fellow that got caught up in the chronal surge.”

“Doctor, that’s no longer your call to make!” replied Whis. “Now move aside so-!”

“Hang on!” interrupted Goku as he looked to the north. “Something’s just popped up.”

“Oh? And what’s that?” asked Beerus. “What’s more important than getting rid of a menace?!”

“…IT’S CELL!” yelped Goku.

“What?! Cell?!” Bulma’s eyes widened in fear. “But how?!”

“Might I ask who this Cell person is?” asked the Doctor.

“A Bio-android with the DNA of Goku and all his friends!” explained Bulma. “Designed by a Red Ribbon army scientist to kill Goku!”

“But my son, Gohan, killed him years ago!” said Goku.

“Whis, can you-?” asked Bulma.

“Let me have a little looksee,” replied Whis as he looked into his staff. “…Oh my! It IS that Cell monster your son killed, Goku! It looks like he ended up in the ruins of that arena he made.”

“We gotta get there now!” urged Goku.

“And send him back to when he’s supposed to die,” remarked Beerus. “Whis-!”

“Yes, I know, Lord Beerus,” sighed Whis. He raised his staff, surrounded everyone in a green bubble, then everyone vanished.

“WAIT! YOU BROUGHT THE PINK-!” Beerus’ warning came too little, too late.

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 2

Angels of Popstar: Part 4

Everyone at the door dashed inside and shut it. “They’re outside!” warned Amy.

“Hoo boy!” muttered the Doctor. “We’re not ready yet! Where are Rassilon and William?!”

“Right here!” called Rassilon as she and William brought two more boxes.

“Thank goodness! Where have you been?!”

“We had to cannibalize a lot of old machines for half these parts!” protested William. “Rassilon had to walk me through the parts’ description! It took her ages to describe the Epsilon Reticular Gauge in a way I could understand it!”

“I had to keep reminding myself that he’s a medical man, not an engineer,” said Rassilon. The TARDIS then rocked, then a bell rang!

“Laudable effort to explain things, Rassilon,” said the Doctor as she began emptying the boxes in a hurry, “but that may prove academic! That’s the Cloister Bell, everyone!”

“Of all the times to cannibalize the H.A.D.S!” complained Kirby as he got to work connecting and calibrating the parts.

“H.A.D.S?!” asked William.

“Hostile Action Displacement System!” explained the Doctor.

“Something that usually keeps the TARDIS from being destroyed?!” asked Amy.

“An emergency dematerialization away from any destructive force, yes!” replied the Doctor. “But we needed key components from them for this to work!”

“TARDIS computer’s ready for the estimates!” said Rassilon. “200 strong army’s been detected!”

“200 Weeping Angels,” shuddered the Doctor as she fed figures into the console. “That’s pushing it! We’ll have to give it everything! Computer’s calculated the projections! Kirby, Rassilon, it’s time!” The two Time Lords and the Star Warrior wired the segments of the Key to Time to a slapdash machine that seemed to stretch its wires into the console. “Powering up!”

“Feeding through the boosters!” announced Rassilon. The console sparked.

“Potential temporal feedback loop building!” called Kirby. “Projecting perma-lux barrier! No, wait! That’s too early! The flux comparative’s interfering!”

“William! That purple button right there!” called the Doctor. “Press it like you did with Miss Tarae’s TARDIS! 112 BPM!”

“Another one bites the dust then! Here we go!” replied William. He began pressing the button to the beat of Another one Bites the Dust, even singing along.

Another one bites the dust!

Another one bites the dust!

And another one gone, and another one gone,

Another one bites the dust! (yeah)

Hey, I’m gonna get you too!

Another one bites the dust!” The Time Rotor then started glowing.

“We’re compensating well!” called Rassilon. “Five! Four! Three! Two! One! NOW!”

“WILLIAM, STOP!” called the Doctor. As William stopped TARDIS CPR, The Doctor pulled the take-off lever. The console sparked for a bit, then the TARDIS made its arrival noise and thud. Smoke came out of the console. The Doctor waved it away with her hat and checked the scanner. The other instruments then rebooted. Kirby checked them.

“…We’re just a few yards away from the Angels’ outer perimeter,” he said. The Doctor then smiled.

“Your idea worked, Kirby!” she said.

“Really?!” asked Kirby.

“Let’s take a look outside!” called the Doctor.


Everyone stepped out of the TARDIS to see the Weeping Angels inside a transparent ball of yellow light, being jostled around. “…Wh…What is this?” asked William.

“That, William,” said the Doctor, “is the Weeping Angels gorging themselves on the potential energy of their own lives whilst looking at one another forever! And the TARDIS checked to make sure there weren’t any more Angels! Popstar is clear!”

“…So what do we do with them?” asked Bandee.

“No worries,” said Kirby. “That problem’s about to solve itself.” The bubble then vanished, taking the Angels with it!

“Where’d they go?!” yelped Dedede.

“To a lifeless planet,” replied the Doctor. “We had to convince our potential time energy bubble to go there instead of staying here on Popstar.”

“I’d rather not have any Angels on my lawn,” chuckled Kirby. “…And now that this adventure is over…” He, Dedede, Bandee, and Meta Knight then posed.

“Ooh boy!” said Amy. “Here comes the victory dance!” The four Popstar Warriors then performed a short victory dance before making a final pose. As they posed, Kirby gave up his new Copy Ability and returned to being normal Kirby.

“HAI!” he said.

“Doctor, I’m a grateful king!” said Dedede. “We’ll be holding a feast in your honor!”

“Oh, we appreciate that, King Dedede,” said Amy, “but we have to-.”

“Erm…we can’t really leave yet,” sighed the Doctor. “That trick damaged the TARDIS so much that the old girl needs to rest and recharge its power cells.”

“…Oh.”

“…Well, I think we could do with a short rest,” said Rassilon. “And I’m going to take this opportunity to get myself a new outfit.”

“How about after the feast, Rassilon?” asked Amy. “I could do with some food.”

“Me too,” agreed William.

“…Yes, food IS more important right now,” conceded Rassilon.

“That settles it, then!” declared the Doctor.


At Castle Dedede, the Waddle-Dees prepared a magnificent spread with meats, veggies, and sweets. Kirby and Dedede were the ones eating the most, given their shared love of food. Rassilon blinked. She ate a lot to recover the energy she spent in regenerating, but nowhere near as much as Kirby and Dedede. “It’s a thing with them,” said Bandee.

“I see,” remarked Rassilon.

“Man, that’s good food!” sighed William happily as he patted his belly. “I needed that!”

“You’re telling me!” said Amy. “That was delicious!”


After the feast, the TARDIS crew was brought back to the TARDIS. It looked a lot better now. “Thank you all!” called the Doctor.

“You’re welcome back to Popstar any time!” called Dedede.

“Poyoyo!” said Kirby as everyone waved.

“Bye, Kirby! See you in the next Smash Tournament!” replied Amy. Everyone was back inside the TARDIS and it took off.

“…Goodbye, Doctor,” said Meta Knight to himself. “And good luck.”


As the TARDIS entered the Time Vortex, the Doctor inserted the tracer into its slot. “All right, old girl,” she said to the TARDIS, “you take your time in calculating the next destination. Rassilon, you think you could-?” She noticed she was alone in the console room. “…Rassilon? Amy? William?”

“In the wardrobe!” called Amy’s voice.

“…Ah! Yes! Rassilon!” recalled the Doctor. She headed to the wardrobe. She knocked on the door.

“Come in,” called Rassilon. The Doctor entered to see Rassilon in a blue shirt, skirt, brown jacket, and a brown trilby. “Well?”

“…I think the blue would work better,” remarked the Doctor, “but the rest of the ensemble makes you look like a comedy internet reviewer.”

“…Well, I suppose…” Rassilon ducked behind a curtain, then came out looking like a blue Queen of Hearts. “…What do you think?”

“…Too stuffy,” remarked William.

“…No, then,” sighed Rassilon. She went behind another curtain, then came back out in a patchwork coat!

“Now you’re just mocking me!” hissed the Doctor.

“Yes, I am, aren’t I?” chuckled Rassilon.

“You…you wore that, Doctor?!” asked Amy.

“Yes, during my sixth incarnation,” sighed the Doctor. “My Mid-lives crisis, as it were.”

“You’d fit in at a Pride Parade in that,” remarked William.

“Oh, no doubt,” agreed the Doctor. Rassilon ducked behind another curtain, then came out wearing a blue flamenco dress with a blue rose and bow pinned to the left of her hair.

“I think we have a winner!” she said.

“…Rassilon, we do a lot of running here,” remarked William.

“Oh, don’t worry,” replied the Doctor. “I had a companion that always wore the wrong shoes and she got herself out of plenty of trouble.”

“…Something’s missing,” muttered Rassilon. She then saw a makeup kit. “Lipstick! That’s it!” She got out blue lipstick from the kit and applied it. She then examined herself in the mirror.

“I’m guessing Meta Knight’s accent had an influence,” chuckled Amy.

“Yes, this is the one!” declared Rassilon. “Now, where to next?”

“Rassilon, there’s a mystery here,” remarked the Doctor.

“Doctor?” asked William.

“How did the Angels know where to base themselves?” continued the Doctor. “And how did they know we were after the Key to Time?”

“…Come to think of it, the Autons were after it as well,” recalled Rassilon. “Almost as if…as if someone told them!”

“The Black Guardian,” said the Doctor. “It’s the only logical explanation. They want you to fail.”

“What would be the Black Guardian’s endgame in making me fail, though?” muttered Rassilon. “Unless they view my seeking your help as cheating.”

“Questions, questions, where are the answers?” muttered the Doctor. “We’d better find them by the time we assemble the Key.”

“Agreed,” said Rassilon. William and Amy stood by.

“…I really hate it when they act this way,” muttered William.

“Don’t knock it,” said Amy. “It looks like Rassilon is changing for the better. The Doctor DID call her a tyrant at one point and Rassilon’s not so high-handed and Time Lordish.”

“…It really has been fun,” mused William.

“Hm?” asked the Doctor.

“Nothing,” replied William.

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 2

Angels of Popstar: Part 3

“KIRBY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” protested the Doctor as Kirby inhaled the excess regeneration energy. “THAT’S NOT SAFE FOR YOU!” Rassilon’s glowing then died off and Kirby stopped inhaling. He then flipped in the air and a skull cap appeared on his head with a collar that wrapped around where his shoulders would be and a semi-circle grew above his head at the back. A curve then sunk in at the top of the semi-circle. The strange collar and skull cap turned scarlet while scarlet fabric covered Kirby’s body. “…He…He turned the regeneration energy…into a combat form!” breathed the Doctor.

“He has become Time Lord Kirby!” announced Meta Knight. Everyone looked at the adult Star Warrior. “…Don’t ask,” he mumbled.

“And he’s wearing Prydonian robes!” said the Doctor. “That’s my chapter!”

“Ooooggghhh!” moaned a new voice. There was a new woman in Rassilon’s dress and she was collapsing.

“Rassilon!” yelped the Doctor. She caught the newly regenerated Rassilon in time. The hat tumbled away to reveal curly brown hair that went to her shoulders and lightly-tanned skin.

“That regeneration must have drained a lot of her energy upon release,” remarked a voice.

“Holy crap! Move aside!” called William. He brought out his stethoscope and listened to Rassilon’s hearts-beat. “…Okay, it’s stabilizing, but we gotta get her out of here!”

“Right,” agreed the Doctor. She got Rassilon to wrap her arms around hers and William’s shoulders. “Kirby, Amy, think you two can scout ahead? Make sure there aren’t any Weeping Angels?”

“Sure thing!” said the two pink people. …Amy goggled when she heard another voice agree with her. She slowly turned to Kirby.

“…Was…that you?” she asked.

“…I think it was!” replied Kirby. “Amazing! This new form not only gave me the intelligence and abilities of the Time Lords, but the speech of them! I can say things besides ‘Poyo’!”

“Erm, Kirby, laudable,” said the Doctor, “but could you please hurry?”

“Yeah, the new Rassilon’s not getting any lighter,” said William.

“Right, sorry!” replied Amy. She and Kirby looked outside.

“Oof! That’s bright!” said Kirby as he blinked hard.

“You’re telling me!” agreed Amy. Once their vision cleared, they looked around.

“…I’m not seeing any Angels,” said Kirby.

“Nor am I,” said Amy. She called to everyone. “We’re good!” Everyone rushed out into the sunlight.

“Still a sunny day,” remarked the Doctor.

“Yeah, days are a bit longer on Popstar,” replied Kirby. “Now, we need to get to your TARDIS. I think I have an idea.”

“Can you tell me telepathically?” asked the Doctor.

“Sure. It’s a bit involved anyways,” said Kirby. “Contact.”

“Contact.” Kirby and the Doctor shut their eyes and concentrated. After a few seconds and some walking, the Doctor grinned. “There’s an idea!” she said.

“Think it will work?” asked Kirby.

“We’ll need the fourth segment to be sure,” said the Doctor.

“What are you planning?” asked Meta Knight.

“We’re going to make the Weeping Angels gorge themselves on potential time energy,” explained Kirby. “But we need the segments of the Key to Time.”

“Three’s probably enough to make it work,” said the Doctor, “but four would really make it a certainty.”

“Hang on,” said Amy as she checked Rassilon’s dress. “The tracer should be around here! Aha! Here it is!” Amy pulled the tracer out of Rassilon’s sleeve and pointed it in different directions. It crackled louder when it was pointing at what looked like a tomato plant.

“…The Maxim Tomato patch?” asked Kirby.

“Maxim Tomato?” asked William.

“Whenever someone eats one raw,” explained Kirby, “it restores them to full strength.”

“Raw?! Ugh!” shuddered William.

“Don’t knock it!” said Bandee. “It works!” The group approached the Maxim Tomato plant. Upon closer inspection, William could see that there were big, black M’s on the tomatoes themselves. Amy waved the tracer near the Maxim Tomatoes until it crackled at its fastest frequency.

“That one!” said Amy as she touched the tracer to it. The Maxim Tomato then turned into its natural form as a segment of the Key to Time and fell to the ground. By then, Rassilon groaned. Her eyes fluttered open and revealed themselves to be blue.

“My head!” she groaned. She then breathed deeply. “…Okay, recap. I landed on Popstar with the Doctor. We were cornered by Weeping Angels. We were thrown into prison by King Dedede acting on the Angels’ orders. I then used my regeneration to blow a hole in the wall.” She then looked around. “…And it worked.”

“Rassilon?” asked William. “How are you feeling?”

“…Sore all over, Dr. Davies,” replied Rassilon. “But I should be able to walk. …Where did Kirby-?”

“Your excess regeneration energy,” explained Kirby, “gave me this new Copy Ability.”

“…So you’re a Time Lord?”

“Well, in the loosest sense of the title, yes. I can’t regenerate, only come back to life twelve times.”

“Twelve?” asked Amy. “That makes thirteen lives in total.”

“Yes, the Doctor and I,” explained Rassilon, “are special cases. We can regenerate ad infinitum, but when I gave that ability to the others, I made it so the average Time Lord is limited to thirteen lives. Didn’t want Gallifrey to be overcrowded.”

“Hey!” called Dedede’s voice. The King then ran up to them. Meta Knight and Bandee drew their weapons.

“Hang on!” called Kirby. “…King Dedede?”

“…Kirby?!” yelped Dedede. “When did you start talking?!”

“It’s a Copy Ability thing. What are you doing here?”

“I saw you guys escaping and realized I was tired of listening to statues,” explained Dedede. “Those things killed my Waddle-Dees! I won’t stand for it! Doctor, you said you can get rid of them!”

“And thanks to Kirby’s new Copy Ability, I can make good on that promise,” said the Doctor. “But we’re going to need a show of good faith from you.”

“Doctor, Dedede’s just misguided at times,” said Amy. “The only time he was evil was when he was mind-controlled.”

“…Well, there WAS my first encounter with him,” said Kirby, “but that’s neither here nor there. The point is, Doctor, we could use his help. He’s more of a hero than you realize.”

“Kirby speaks the truth,” said Meta Knight. “He’ll pull through when push comes to shove.”

“He kept the Beast Pack from the Forgotten Land off our backs so we could escape and defeat an eldritch horror,” said Bandee. “He’s a hero where it counts.”

“And if saving the life of even one of my loyal subjects means my sacrifice,” promised Dedede, “then I choose to die a King!”

“…I appreciate the sentiment,” said the Doctor, “but no one else is dying to feed the Angels today. Kirby, your Warp Star! We have to get to the TARDIS!”

“Right!” replied Kirby. He summoned the Warp Star and it took everyone back to Kirby’s house. Dedede blinked.

“That is your TARDIS, Doctor?” asked Meta Knight. “I thought it would blend in.”

“Broken Chameleon Circuit,” explained the Doctor.

“Looks kinda small,” remarked Dedede.

“If I got my new intelligence right,” said Kirby, “it’s not as snug as it looks.”


To say Dedede was gobsmacked about the inside of the TARDIS would be an understatement. Bandee was just as surprised. Meta Knight, having heard about a TARDIS before, wasn’t AS surprised, but was honored to be allowed inside one. “H…HOW?!” spluttered Dedede.

“Dimensional transcendentalism,” replied Kirby.

“It…It’s…bigger on the inside!” whispered Bandee.

“Like I said, dimensional transcendentalism.”

“Kirby, we have a lot of work to do,” said the Doctor. “Could you run your plan by Rassilon?”

“Sure thing. Rassilon? You good for pooling our experiences?”

“You can do that?” asked Rassilon. “I think your new Copy Ability is a bit overpowered.”

“Well, I’ll be giving it up when all this is over,” promised Kirby.

“Right, well,” sighed Rassilon, “we better get started. Contact.”

“Contact.” The Star Warrior and the Time Lord spoke telepathically.

“…Amy, you think the Doctor and Miss Tarae did that concerning the roboticized TARDIS?” William asked Amy.

“Probably. They were in there for a short time,” said Amy. “Too short for a verbal workshopping of the plan.”

“Kirby, that’s a great idea!” said Rassilon once she and Kirby were finished. “But we have to work fast. Doctor, where’s the parts storage?”

“William, take Rassilon to the parts storage,” directed the Doctor. “We have until the evening, considering the Angels like darkness.”

“What can we do in the meantime?” asked Meta Knight.

“You all can act as watchmen,” replied the Doctor. “Don’t engage the Angels, you hear? You come back inside the instant you see a wing!”

“Got it!” replied Dedede.


The work was taking a good chunk of the day. Night was starting to fall. King Dedede and Amy were outside with Bandee and Meta Knight standing at the door. By now, it was getting dark enough to risk flashlights. “…Why the heck does the Doctor call these things torches?” asked Dedede.

“I think it’s a British thing,” replied Amy. She then saw his confused face. “…From Great Britain, on Earth.”

“How big IS Earth?” muttered Dedede. …His light then flickered. “Erm, Amy!”

“Mine too!” gulped Amy. The lights came back on in time to see the outline of multiple Weeping Angels ready to strike!