Tag: donkey kong

The firefight was not going well for Bowser and King K. Rool’s armies. The Cybermen were downing each and every one of them! “Shoot straight, you miserable miscreants!” ordered King K. Rool.

“Lakitus, we need air support!” shouted Bowser. Lakitus and their clouds arrived and hurled Spinies, but it did no good!

Meanwhile, the Doctor saw the situation. “This is our chance!” she said.

“We’re really leaving them to fight?” asked Peach.

“Doctor-,” said Amy.

“The sooner we use the Banandium Root against the Cybermen, the sooner this mess is settled,” replied the Doctor. “Donkey Kong, lead on!”

“This way!” urged Donkey Kong as everyone stepped into the swirling gold sphere. Inside was a ball of light with bananas orbiting it like a biblically accurate angel’s eyes.

“Hello again,” said Pauline.

“That’s the Banandium Root?” asked Mario.

“A powerful wish granting thing,” replied Donkey Kong. “It got Pauline home and gave me all the bananas I could ever want.”

“Great Banandium Root,” Pauline said to the Root, “please, grant our wishes! Make it so that anyone with evil intentions can never abuse you!”

“And if you’ll permit me to wish,” interjected the Doctor, “destroy the Cybermen! They would take over this planet and deprive it of emotions!”

“Oh, Great Banandium Root, grant our-!” Peach couldn’t get far with her wish as Bowser and King K. Rool were tossed inside as the Cyber Leader led his forces into the Banandium Root’s chamber.

“Doctor,” said the Cyber Leader.

“Cyber Leader,” replied the Doctor.

“Surrender control of the Banandium Root to us, Doctor.”

“I can’t.”

“Then we will kill Pauline.” The Cyber Leader aimed his Cyber Gun at Pauline. “Donkey Kong cannot access his Bananza forms without her.”

“Didn’t you hear me?” asked the Doctor. “I can’t even if I wanted to! This is power beyond the comprehension of the Cybermen! It can’t be merely reprogrammed!”

“You will order it to remain on this planet, then.”

“That will solve nothing! Any Cybermen would be destroyed if they set foot on this planet!”

“The Cybermen AND the planet,” remarked the Cyber Leader. “The choice is yours, Doctor.”

“…That’s cold!” hissed Amy.

“The Doctor cannot destroy any of her enemies if her friends are in the line of fire.” The Cyber Leader spoke as if it were simply reading off an essay.

“…Everyone, it’s over,” sighed the Doctor. Amy and Lurra Rus looked…to see a look of defeat on the Doctor’s face! It was so alien to them, not even her previous incarnation displayed such a face. “My battles, all my battles…I can only surrender.”

“Doctor!” protested Lurra Rus.

“You will order the Banandium Root to align with the incoming fleet,” ordered the Cyber Leader. The Doctor turned to the Banandium Root.

“Do you understand the Cyber Leader’s instructions?” she asked it. The Banandium Root flickered in understanding.

“Deploy,” ordered the Cyber Leader. The Doctor nodded to the Banandium Root and it flew out of the chamber!

“What have you done?!” wailed Peach.

“We will monitor its progress,” said the Cyber Leader. His men set up monitoring equipment and it was all on display once it was switched on.

Entering high orbit above Nokiko was a fleet of modern-day Cyber Carriers. The Cybermen aboard had received a transmission about ancient Cybermen discovering an object that would ensure the permanent survival of the Cyber Race. Aboard the flagship was the Cyber Controller. “Controller,” reported a Cyberman running scanners, “energy signature detected. Readings match with data concerning the object known as the Banandium Root.”

“Our predecessors were correct,” remarked the Cyber Controller. “Align with the-.” Alarms then blared. “Report!”

“Banandium Root has destroyed two Cyber Carriers!” replied the scanner operator. “It is destroying the entire fleet! Unable to-!” The Banandium Root tore through the flagship, detonating its power core and destroying all hands.

The destruction of the Cyber Fleet was on full display. Amy and Lurra Rus were confused…then recalled what the Doctor said. “…You could have said something!” hissed Lurra Rus.

“Not with the Cybermen around,” replied the Doctor.

“But…how-?!” spluttered Mario.

“Simple,” replied the Doctor.

“The Banandium Root was under Cyber Control!” protested the Cyber Leader. “I ordered it to align with our fleet!”

“Ah, but I already wished for it to destroy any Cybermen that would approach,” explained the Doctor. “And Pauline asked for it to be more discriminating in its ability to grant wishes.”

“The Doctor simply asked if the Root understood your orders,” continued Amy. “She didn’t say anything about it obeying you.”

“…Then you will all join the Cyber Fleet. Prepare arms.” The Cybermen were about to obey, then were savagely attacked by the Koopa/Kremling army remnants grinding gold into their chest units. As the fight raged on, Bowser stirred awake and saw that only the Cyber Leader was left.

“…Hey! Soft shells!” he growled as he swiped King K. Rool’s crown. “You missed a spot!” He then ground the crown into the Cyber Leader’s chest unit. The Cyber Leader screamed and collapsed as its chest unit exploded. After it fell, its face cover exploded, revealing the human man it used to be.

“…Bowser…thank you,” breathed the Doctor.

“…This whole thing was a waste of time!” snarled Bowser. “I heard Pauline’s wish! You’re gonna pay for making it not grant my wishes! …But not today. Koopas! We’re leaving!” Bowser stomped out of the chamber as Donkey Kong knuckled his way to King K. Rool. The reptile looked…rather still. Donkey Kong raised his hand…then slapped King K. Rool repeatedly.

“Get up, you walking suitcase!” he said. “I’m not falling for that again!” King K. Rool got away from Donkey Kong.

“You were dumb enough to fall for it twice before!” snapped King K. Rool. He turned to address his army. “Return to the surface! I’ll deal with you toothless and useless banana thieves later!” The Kremlings gulped before making their way back to the surface. When all the armies left, the Doctor and her allies breathed a huge sigh of relief.

“That,” said the Doctor, “could have been so much worse.”

“So this was what you went through when you were 13, Pauline?” asked Mario.

“Oddly enough, journeying through the Underground world helped me overcome my stage fright,” replied Pauline.

“Speaking of journeys,” interjected Amy, “want a lift back to the surface?” Pauline considered, then shook her head.

“We’ll use the Banandium Root,” she said.

“Hey, Pauline,” interjected Donkey Kong, “we just beat a major boss, there’s something we need to do. For old time’s sake.” Pauline smiled.

“Let’s get to it then!” She and Donkey Kong then flexed their arms and hopped towards one another a bit, then they danced before pounding their chests and hooting in victory!

“…Erm, Doctor, you’ve been…Doctor?” Peach looked around to see that the Doctor and her friends had vanished! “…Without so much as a goodbye!” she grumbled.

The Doctor and her friends were back in the TARDIS and had just taken off. “What was with the departure without a goodbye?” asked Lurra Rus.

“The TARDIS had finished calculating where the next chronal surge is going to take place,” replied the Doctor. “I had it calculating it when we first arrived and it fed the data into the sonic screwdriver when we arrived at the Planet Core.”

“So, where are we going?” asked Amy.

“…That’s why I had us hurry. I forgot what it said.”

“Doctor!”

“Don’t worry, I’m punching it up on the scanner,” assured the Doctor as she keyed in a few commands. The scanner then opened and displayed a sphere.

“A planet, I’m guessing,” said Lurra Rus.

“Sure is,” replied the Doctor. “Now, let’s see what planet it is, hm?” She fed the data into the scanner. Blue, green, and brown appeared on the sphere and Amy’s eyes widened. The Doctor checked the readings and she goggled in horror as well.

“…Doctor? Amy?” asked Lurra Rus. “You recognize that planet?”

“It’s Mobius!” breathed Amy. “My home!” She turned on the Doctor. “You mean the next chronal surge is taking place on Mobius and you forgot about it?!”

“I was busy with the Cybermen like you were,” replied the Doctor.

“How long have you known?”

“…Well, in strictly linear terms as the chronometer flies, I’ve known since Susan had that chat with me and the Owner.”

“When on Mobius will it take place?” asked Lurra Rus. “In Amy’s time?”

“No, somewhere in her future. Roughly…200 years from then.”

“200 years?” asked Amy. “…Silver!”

“Pardon?” asked the Doctor.

“Silver the hedgehog! He usually travels back in time to try and avert some future catastrophe!”

“…That indicates multiple attempts,” remarked the Doctor. “How on Earth can he still do that? Unless this is multiverse theory at play. …Right, time to answer some questions!” The Doctor then set the coordinates and the TARDIS whizzed off towards its destination.

“Hoo boy,” muttered Pauline. “We’d better step in.”

“Come on!” called Donkey Kong as he led the way.

“Buddy, do you have any idea who you’re talking to?!” shouted Bowser. “I’m-!”

“Not worthy of learning the Kong Bananza,” interrupted the Kong Elder. “And neither is K. Rool.”

“KING K. Rool, you appalling-!”

“Appalling ape?” interrupted Donkey Kong as everyone approached the villains and the Elder they were harassing. The Kong Elder’s face lit up.

“Now THERE’S someone who proved worthy of learning the Kong Bananza!” he said. “As well as the other four! Welcome back, DK and Pauline!”

“Oh for-! And Mario too!” complained Bowser.

“Nice to see you too, Bowser,” muttered Mario.

“Bowser, we don’t have time to argue!” urged Peach.

“Oh! Peachy!” replied Bowser, his voice attempting a sexy purr.

“Bowser, we have a bigger problem that would destroy this planet!” continued Peach. “There’s a group of people called the Cybermen that intend to sieze control of the Bananzas!”

“They do not have the full power of the Bananzas they stole, your Highness,” soothed the Kong Elder. “But they DID disrupt Donkey Kong’s connection with them by using their own frequencies.”

“Bananza: the Cyber-Remix, hm?” asked the Doctor.

“That’s exactly what it is, Doctor.” The Doctor blinked.

“…I seem to be at a disadvantage,” she remarked.

“I know of you, Doctor. Your travels in time and space, your TARDIS, they are known to me.”

“Hang on, THAT’S the Doctor?!” yelped Bowser. “The same one that had to help me during that mess with the Daleks?!”

“The same Doctor that upended my plans with the Tiki Tak Tribe?!” continued King K. Rool.

“Yes to both,” replied the Doctor, “no, I’m not explaining regeneration, I did enough of that today. Kong Elder, we need to keep the Cybermen from learning the Kong Bananza.”

“The solution is simple,” answered the Kong Elder. “DK, you remember where I store my Ancient Record, yes?”

“Yeah,” replied Donkey Kong.

“Hold on, a Bananza ceremony? Now?” asked Pauline.

“Bananza ceremony?” asked Lurra Rus.

“Um, whatever it is, better get started now!” warned Amy. “They’re right behind us!” The heavy footsteps of the Cybermen needed no explanation.

“Be right back!” yelped Donkey Kong as he knuckled away at top speed. Bowser, King K. Rool, Mario, and Amy got ready to fight.

“Doctor, you will surrender the Kong Elder to us,” demanded the Cyber Leader.

“No chance!” replied the Doctor.

“You will surrender the Kong Elder or we will take him and learn his Bananza as we’ve learned the others.”

“Not the full powered Bananza!” scoffed Pauline.

“Incorrect,” replied the Cyber Leader.

“How about I show you the full power of a Bananza?!” called Donkey Kong as he returned with a giant record with a red Kong symbol in the center. He put it onto a DJ table at the Kong Elder’s feet. The record then spun and glowed as ancient music played for a bit. Just then, domed walls grew around everyone!

“WHAT IN-?!” yelped the Doctor.

“It’s okay! We’ll be fine!” assured Donkey Kong as the immediate area went dark as the last of the dome was filled in.

“All units, activate search lights,” ordered the Cyber Leader.

“Calm down,” replied the Kong Elder. “DK, Pauline, combine your power once more and show me that you’ve still got it!” Spotlights then shone down on Donkey Kong and Pauline as they were on a stage. Their friends realized that they were now surrounded by Salvager Monkeys hooting in anticipation. “BANANZA!” roared the Kong Elder. A beat then played. Pauline snapped her fingers in time to the beat.

“…Ready, DK?” she asked.

“You know it!” replied Donkey Kong. He then pounded his chest in time to the beat and hooted.

“Time for some nostalgia!” said Pauline. She then grabbed the microphone in front of her, took a breath, then shouted “DK!” Donkey Kong then glowed…and punched hard! Music played as Donkey Kong revealed that he was now black-furred with grey exposed skin, like a normal gorilla, wore a banana headdress and bracelets, and had red eyes. Everyone, minus the Cybermen, started dancing like it was a nightclub! Pauline sang a song in a language no one recognized as the Kong Elder held his headphones to make sure the song was just right while he vibed.

“HOHO!” laughed the Kong Elder. “It’s the Kong Elder, coming at you live! I can feel it! You’ve still got it, DK and Pauline! Now, show these Cybermen the true power of the Kong Bananza!” The area changed into a strange light-filled void with metallic platforms floating and holding everyone up. Pauline hopped onto Donkey Kong’s back, still singing, and Donkey Kong wound up for a punch.

“Activate-.” The Cyber Leader couldn’t finish his order as Donkey Kong threw his punch and created an energy wave that changed the bits of terrain and the Cyber Leader’s chest unit into gold! The Cyber Leader’s chest unit exploded as he screamed and fell to the ground. A Cyberman activated a scanner.

“…Gold!” he warned.

“YEAH! How do you like them apples?!” shouted Donkey Kong.

“That’s…the full power of a Bananza?!” yelped the Doctor. “You can turn things into gold?!”

“When I want to, yes,” replied Donkey Kong.

“Deputy, we must retreat!” urged one of the Cybermen.

“No,” replied the Cyber Deputy. “We must learn the skills of a Bananza at full power.”

“All it will take for us, Deputy,” the Cyberman went on, “is for one misplaced attack! The Cyber Race cannot utilize golden weapons at this stage and the terrain will be turned against us! We must focus on the Banandium Root!”

“…Your logic is correct,” agreed the Cyber Deputy. “We must use the Banandium Root first. Retreat.” The Cybermen gave covering fire as they managed to escape. The world around everyone then returned to the Lagoon Layer and the Kong Bananza faded, turning Donkey Kong back to normal.

“We have to go after the Banandium Root!” urged Pauline. “If the Cybermen get ahold of it, the Root will grant their wishes!”

“Come on, everyone, into the TARDIS!” called the Doctor. “And that means you too, Bowser, King K. Rool!”

“Them?!” protested Peach.

“Yes, them! We’ll need their strength!” replied the Doctor. She led everyone into the TARDIS and the two villains goggled.

“…Unbelievable!” whispered King K. Rool.

“Donkey Kong, you’re sure the Banandium Root’s at the core of the planet?” asked the Doctor.

“Positive,” replied Donkey Kong.

“Right then, here we go!” The Doctor set the controls and the TARDIS took off.

The Planet Core, the layer with the most sublayers of the Underground World, the resting place of the Banandium Root, and, right now, the source of a massive army of Koopas and Kremlings! Surrounding the army was a flowing sphere of gold with a walkway allowing access. The TARDIS landed on the walkway and everyone stepped out. “Woo! Feel that power!” cheered Donkey Kong. “This is one of those areas where I can stay in a Bananza forever!”

“Really?” asked Amy.

“The gold here,” explained Pauline, “has something called bananergy, similar to Star or Moon power. Ordinarily, DK would run out of bananergy unless he scooped up enough gold.”

“Lord Bowser! King K. Rool!” called a Koopa. “We managed to secure the sinkholes, Sirs! We thought you’d be using them!”

“A good show of initiative,” replied King K. Rool, “but we secured alternate transport with the Doctor’s TARDIS.”

“And now, after all this…” said Bowser.

“THE BANANDIUM ROOT IS MINE!” shouted both villains. They then glared at one another. “…The Banandium Root is MINE!” they both protested.

“Is now REALLY the time for stabbing each other in the back?!” argued the Doctor. “The Cybermen are on their way here!”

“They don’t know about the sinkholes connecting the layers!” scoffed King K. Rool. “They’re taking the long way around and I’ll have used my wishes against them!”

“I’m the one getting my wishes granted here!” argued Bowser. “Koopas! Form up!”

“Make turtle soup out of them, you pilfering-!” King K. Rool didn’t get the chance to finish his order as a Cyber Gun fired on them all, scattering them.

“You were saying?!” said Amy. The Cyber Driller had arrived and the Cybermen opened fire. The Cyber Deputy was upgraded into the new Cyber Leader during the trip.

“Leader,” reported the new Cyber Deputy, “the highest concentration of bananergy is within that structure. Logic dictates the Banandium Root is inside. As long as our chest units are protected, we shall withstand the concentration of gold.”

“Excellent,” replied the Cyber Leader. “Proceed. Eradicate all opposition. Bananzas are no longer required.” The Cybermen increased the frequency of their shots, downing Koopas and Kremlings alike.

“So we’ve got robots to deal with?” asked Donkey Kong.

“Not robots, cyborgs,” corrected the Doctor.

“What’s that Hammer Bro doing?!” yelped Amy. The Hammer Bro threw his hammer…but it bounced off the Cyberman that was his target.

“Eradicate them,” ordered the Cyber Leader. The Cybermen pulled out their guns and fired! The Koopas and Kremlings took cover and fired back. The battle prevented the Doctor and her group from helping.

“Dang it, that’s too much!” complained Donkey Kong.

“At this rate, they might as well be using bows and arrows!” muttered the Doctor. Then…it happened. As a Cyberman advanced on them, a hammer struck it in the chest unit. The chest unit sparked and exploded, then the Cyberman screamed before collapsing.

“…But…but how?!” yelped Amy, the first attempt from a Hammer Bro still fresh in her mind.

“A Cyberman killed by a hammer?! That’s absurd!” remarked the Doctor. Her eyes then widened as she got an idea. “…Unless…” she turned the corpse over and pulled out the hammer. It was a golden one. A smile crossed the Doctor’s face. “Of course! These are later-model Cyber Neomorphs! Far more primitive than the ones we met in Earth’s 30th century!”

“What’s that mean?” asked Amy.

“The line we met,” explained the Doctor, “was the result of our universe’s Cybermen and Cybermen from another universe coming together and upgrading one another to make more advanced models. These Cybermen are from before that time, so they haven’t kept up to date on current models! The union of those two Cybermen lines removed a glaring weakness from the Cybermen of our universe, a weakness that these Cybermen still have!”

“What’s that?” asked Donkey Kong.

“Gold!” replied the Doctor. “Because of how non-corrosive it is, if you introduce gold into the breathing apparatus on the chest units, the Cybermen suffocate and either just collapse or, with these models, the chest units explode to fatal effect.”

Unbeknownst to the Doctor, a Kremling heard her explanation. “…Gold, huh?” he muttered. He then pulled out a slingshot and a gold coin. A nearby Koopa saw that.

“This is no time for games!” he protested. “We’re wasting our 1-Ups!”

“Trust me!” replied the Kremling as he loaded his slingshot. He then pulled back, aimed at a Cyberman, then fired! The gold coin sailed through the air and hit the Cyberman in the chest unit! The chest unit sparked, then the Cyberman screamed and collapsed.

“What the-?!” spluttered the Koopa.

“Gold’s their weakness!” called the Kremling. “Fire anything gold at their chests!” The tide turned…briefly.

“Leader, the enemy is using gold projectiles,” warned the Cyber Deputy.

“Engage Serpent abilities,” ordered the Cyber Leader. The Cyber Deputy transmitted the order to all Cyber forces, then the Cybermen took the combined Koopa/Kremling army by surprise! Their legs turned into serpent tails and coiled like springs! They then jumped out of the way. The Cybermen’s eyes then glowed and the Koopas and Kremlings slowed down!

“DK, did you-?!” spluttered Pauline.

“That’s the Snake Bananza!” replied Donkey Kong. “Those guys learned the Snake Bananza!”

“Knockoffs is what they are!” hissed Pauline.

“Darn right! Hop on!” directed Donkey Kong. Pauline then got onto DK’s back and held tight. Donkey Kong then charged into the fray!

“DONKEY KONG, GET BACK HERE!” protested the Doctor. Donkey Kong then pounded his chest as if to set a beat!

“SNAAAAAAAKE!” shouted Pauline. Donkey Kong hooted, then posed as Pauline sang. No one could recognize the language…and everyone stared as Donkey Kong blinked.

“…Erm, Kiddo,” said Donkey Kong. Pauline’s singing faltered.

“…You should be scaly right now,” remarked Pauline.

“That is the gorilla that had mastered all five Bananzas, Leader,” remarked a Cyberman as it turned its tail back into legs.

“Given that it is accompanied by a human female,” replied the Cyber Leader, “logic dictates that both are needed to learn the Kong Bananza. Take them. Engage Zebra abilities.”

“Uh oh!” gulped Donkey Kong.

“QUICK! IN THERE!” called the Doctor as she waved to the TARDIS.

“We can’t-!” protested Donkey Kong.

“Don’t argue, DK!” insisted Pauline. “Get in there! Hurry!” Donkey Kong then knuckled towards the TARDIS at top speed while the Cybermen were trying to intercept him. They had circled in front of him, but Donkey Kong knocked them aside and entered the TARDIS. The Doctor shut the doors behind him once everyone was inside. She then dashed towards the console and took off. Donkey Kong goggled in surprise.

“It’s…It’s…bigger on the inside!” he gasped.

“That’s right, you never went inside on Kong Island, did you?” recalled the Doctor.

“You’ve redecorated,” said Mario. “…I like it!”

“Wh-what is-?!” spluttered Donkey Kong.

“It’s the TARDIS,” replied the Doctor. “Anywhere…and anywhen! …But right now, we have bigger problems. Namely, how the Cybermen got those powers.”

“They must have taken the Underground Elders somehow,” said Pauline.

“Underground Elders?” asked Amy.

“I can’t say as I’ve heard of them,” remarked Mario.

“They’re the leaders of five different underground animal tribes,” explained Donkey Kong. “There’s the Snakes, the Elephants, the Ostriches, the Zebras, and a whole tribe of Kongs. They live in different layers of the Underground World and can make their own sunlight.”

“When I was a little girl,” continued Pauline, “I was kidnapped by the president of the once biggest mining company, Void Co. His name was Void Kong and he was obsessed with finding something called the Great Banandium Root at the Planet Core to wish for infinite gold and he didn’t care how many lives he ruined.”

“King K. Rool had tried a similar plan earlier and was trapped by the Banandium Root, but we accidentally released him and he hijacked Void Kong’s plan,” Donkey Kong went on. “But the whole journey resulted in Pauline returning here via the Banandium Root.”

“So the core of this planet isn’t made of molten earth,” remarked the Doctor. “Very interesting. What IS it made of if people can survive in it? …Discussion for another time. Right now, I need to know, what are these Bananzas the Cybermen mentioned?”

“Short term transformations for DK that are usually activated by my singing,” said Pauline. “…But something went wrong. I’m pretty sure I sang the lyrics to the Snake Bananza song right.”

“Maybe the Cybermen are blocking your access to them,” remarked the Doctor. “Counter-frequency, perhaps? Questions, questions.”

“Doctor, maybe we should check on the Elders,” suggested Donkey Kong.

“…If the Cybermen captured them…” mused the Doctor as a look of worry crossed her face.

“Doctor, the Cybermen said they needed Donkey Kong and Pauline to learn the Kong Bananza,” recalled Lurra Rus.

“Then maybe the Kong Elder can help us!” said Pauline.

“Where is the Kong Elder?” asked the Doctor.

“In the Lagoon Layer,” replied Donkey Kong. “Sublayers…100 to 102. He’s specifically at Sublayer 101.”

“Right,” declared the Doctor. “Off we go!” She set the coordinates and the TARDIS took off.

The Cybermen forced the Koopa/Kremling army into a retreat as the TARDIS dematerialized. “Prediction of the Doctor’s movements,” ordered the Cyber Leader.

“She has most likely been briefed on Bananzas,” replied the Cyber Deputy. “She will attempt to reach the Kong Elder.”

“We must reach the Lagoon Layer,” declared the Cyber Leader. “We must learn the Kong Bananza and use the Banandium Root for the survival of the Cyber-race of this time. The Doctor must not interfere. Return to the Cyber Driller and set course for Sublayer 101.”

“Yes, Leader,” obliged the Cyber Deputy.

“I shall begin transmission of our progress,” said a Cyberman as they all entered the Cyber Driller.

“No,” replied the Cyber Leader. “We will run the risk of transmitting incomplete data if you do. Maintain communications silence with any Cyber Factions until we have learned all the Bananzas and obtained the Banandium Root.”

The Lagoon Layer, a peaceful, water-filled area with yellow grass, green and blue primates, and scrap metal used to make structures, inhabited by blue and green furred primates that fish for scrap, quite literally. The TARDIS arrived and the local Salvager Monkeys backed up from the sudden blue box that just appeared. The Doctor led everyone out and the Salvager Monkeys’ faces lit up when they saw Donkey Kong and Pauline. “DK! PAULINE!” said the lead Salvager Monkey. “Welcome back! It’s been way too long! …Those guys, on the other hand!”

“What about us?” asked Peach.

“DK and Pauline are welcome, outsiders like you-!”

“Your xenophobia is misplaced, sir,” replied the Doctor.

“These guys are with us,” explained Donkey Kong.

“We need to speak to the Kong Elder,” said Pauline. “Creatures called Cybermen are after him and the secrets of the Kong Bananza!”

“Oh for-! He’s already harassed by that lizard king and that turtle with the spiky shell!” grumbled the lead Salvager Monkey. “He doesn’t need these Cyber whatsits!” Mario and Donkey Kong could make a pretty good guess at who the aforementioned Lizard King and Spiky-shelled Turtle were.

“We can prevent his secrets from being stolen,” offered Pauline. “Is he still at the Elder’s Court?”

“Naturally,” replied the lead Salvager Monkey.

“Then that’s where we’re going!” declared Donkey Kong. “All of us! This way!” Donkey Kong led everyone down to a container ship that had run aground years ago with a bridge connecting it to the landmass they were on. They crossed the bridge to find a massive gorilla with red headphones, a headdress made of bananas, banana bracelets, and a banana beard arguing with King K. Rool and Bowser!

“And this situation has become more complicated,” sighed the Doctor.

The hustle and bustle of the city can’t be beat for some people. On another planet, far off in our future, that idea is no exception. A brunette woman wearing a stunning red suit with a floppy brimmed hat was the mayor of one such city! The woman breathed deeply as she took in the sounds of her city, the Big Banana itself, New Donk City! Modeled after New York City of the old homeworld of Earth, New Donk City was filled with taxis, humans, and the Crazy Cap home store! The mayor, Pauline, then heard a taxi getting closer. She looked to her left to see a taxi pull up. The taxi’s passengers then got out. One was a short, fat man with a moustache, blue overalls, and a red shirt and cap with the letter M on it. The other was a tall blonde woman in a pink skirt, a white blouse, and a floppy brimmed hat. “Mario! Peach!” greeted Pauline.

“Pauline! Great to see you again!” called the blonde woman, Princess Peach.

“It’s been way too long!” the short man, the famous hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario, chimed in. The three of them hugged each other.

“I’m so glad we could find time in our busy schedules to do this!” said Pauline once the hug broke off. “So, where shall we start?”

“You’re the mayor,” replied Mario. “You decide!”

“Mario’s right! This IS your…hang on…” Peach trailed off.

“Peach? Is…hang on, is that-?!” yelped Mario.

“The TARDIS?!” asked Pauline. It was, indeed, the TARDIS. It fully materialized on the sidewalk where Mario, Peach, and Pauline stood. The doors opened and Amy stepped out first.

“This place looks…” she muttered.

“AMY!” called Mario and his group. Amy looked up to see them!

“MARIO! PEACH! PAULINE!” The hedgehog girl hugged them all!

“Still travelling with the Doctor, hm?” asked Mario.

“Oh yeah! …But I’m afraid this isn’t a social call.”

“It isn’t?” asked Peach once the hug broke off. At that moment, the Doctor and Lurra Rus stepped out.

“Hey, Doctor! Lurra! Look where we are!” called Amy. The Doctor looked ahead to see Mario, Peach, and Pauline.

“Ah! Back on Nokiko!” realized the Doctor.

“…Amy, did you call that woman…the Doctor?” asked Peach. Amy explained regeneration to Peach, something she felt she did a lot after New York.

“…You’re seriously the Doctor?” Mario asked the Doctor.

“The same one that helped you lot deal with the Daleks,” confirmed the Doctor. “With Luigi, Daisy, and Rosalina, if I recall. They duplicated Luigi and Amy as part of their war against a sect of humanized Daleks.”

“Okay, I’m convinced,” replied Mario. “Welcome back, Doctor!”

“Yes, welcome to New Donk City, the Big Banana!” greeted Pauline. “And your friend is…?”

“I’m Lurra Rus,” replied Lurra Rus.

“Nice to meet you. What brings you here, if not a social call?”

“We’re tracking something called the Grouping,” explained the Doctor.

“I…accidentally started it,” said Amy.

“What makes you-?” Pauline couldn’t finish her question as passersby warned her to look out. Pauline looked up…and a big, hairy thing landed near her, scattering everyone on impact. The hairy thing groaned, then howled in pain as Pauline landed on his back.

“Why my back?!” protested the hairy thing. “Why always my back?!” The hairy thing turned out to be a brown-furred gorilla with a red tie with the letters DK in yellow on it.

“Sorry about that, Sir,” apologized Pauline. “I…no way!” The gorilla turned, then yelped in surprise.

“PAULINE?!” he said.

“DK!” cheered Pauline.

“Donkey Kong?” asked Mario. The gorilla, Donkey Kong, looked over.

“Mario!” he growled. “You realize I’m blaming YOU for this!”

“Blaming him?” asked the Doctor. “For what?”

“…I’m sorry, who are-?”

“Hey, DK!” called Amy.

“AMY! Good to see you again! And you, Lurra Rus! …Where’s the Doctor? I assume you’re still travelling with her?”

“Right there, apparently,” replied Pauline. “She can change her body, from what Amy said.”

“Hello, Donkey Kong!” greeted the Doctor. “Now, my original question?”

“Oh, yeah! Bowser’s teamed up with King K. Rool for some odd reason and I bet it has something to do with Mario!”

“ME?!” protested Mario. “I didn’t do anything to either of them! …At least, not recently!”

“Oh yeah?!” challenged Donkey Kong. “Then why did they boast about destroying us both when I was fired out of that cannon?!”

“Hold on, I rather think we need some context here!” called the Doctor. “What happened?”

“…All right, all right,” sighed Donkey Kong as he calmed down. “I was chilling on Kong Island, having some bananas, then all of a sudden, King K. Rool’s ship, the Gangplank Galleon, fired on the island. I swam over there and jumped aboard, then got attacked by Hammer Bros instead of Kremlings. Then King K. Rool and Bowser stepped out of the Captain’s cabin, made the ship fly, and then stuffed me into a cannon all while boasting that they’ll destroy us.”

“And destroy you we shall, you mumbling, moronic mammal!” called a voice from the sky.

“Oh no,” groaned the Doctor. “And all while a chronal surge happened!” Everyone looked up to see a fleet of sailing vessels with propellers instead of masts.

“Bowser’s air fleet!” gulped Peach. Amy readied her hammer as Mario got into a fighting stance while Donkey Kong thumped his chest and hooted. Koopas and Kremlings then leapt from the ships and attacked! Peach and Pauline stayed well out of the way, since they weren’t combat capable at the moment. The Doctor and Lurra Rus joined Peach and Pauline as Mario, Amy, and Donkey Kong fought back.

“This is absurd!” grumbled the Doctor. “I can’t fix the chronal surge in this state!”

“Chronal surge?” asked Pauline.

“An energy wave washing over time and space and plucking people or things out of their native point in space-time and putting them into a new one in either their past or future,” explained Lurra Rus. “There’s a series of them happening in an event the Time Lords call the Grouping.”

“Nobody’s gone missing from what I can tell,” said Peach.

“We were trying to stay ahead,” explained the Doctor, “but I overshot the target. Navigational systems need a complete overhaul!”

The fight still raged on, but Mario, Amy, and Donkey Kong were starting to tire out. “I can’t believe this!” complained Donkey Kong. “This is how I go out?!”

“Come on, DK!” retorted Amy. “Show some positivity!”

“I AM being positive! I’m positive we’re gonna get a permanent game over!”

“Not while I’m breathing!” replied Mario. That was when the earth shook. “H-hey! What’s going on?!”

“Something’s digging its way up here!” yelped Amy.

“The Banandium Root?” muttered Donkey Kong. Something then erupted from the ground. It was metallic and had a huge rotary drill on the front like one would see on an oil rig. The vehicle then tilted to its side and opened a ramp.

“What on earth-?!” yelped Peach.

“We better check on them!” suggested Pauline. Lurra Rus then spotted the Doctor’s worried face.

“…Doctor?” she asked.

“…They’ve been buried for millions of years,” whispered the Doctor. “So they were caught up in the chronal surge! Oh no!”

“Doctor, what’s wrong?” asked Pauline.

“Come on! We’ve got to get our friends away from that mining ship!” declared the Doctor as she broke cover. “AMY! AMY, GET AWAY FROM THERE!” Amy whirled around and saw the Doctor.

“Come on!” she called to Mario and Donkey Kong. The three of them rejoined their friends as the Koopas and Kremlings surrounded the mining ship.

“Doctor, what’s wrong?” asked Mario. “They saved our lives!”

“Don’t thank them yet,” directed the Doctor grimly. “We might live to regret it.”

“Why? Do you know that ship?” asked Amy.

“…A Cyber Driller,” replied the Doctor.

“Cyber-? …No!” Amy goggled in horror as she realized the implications. A door opened from the side of the Cyber Driller and out stomped silver humanoids with metal helmets and a handle on each side of their head going up from the ear, turning ninety degrees, and joining on the top of the head. Their leader’s handles were painted black. Amy then called out to the Koopas and Kremlings. “GET AWAY FROM THEM! THEY’RE DANGEROUS!”

“Bite me, Pinky!” retorted a Boomerang Bro. “We can handle these robots!” They all readied their weapons!

“They’re gonna be slaughtered!” gasped Amy.

“There’s nothing we can do, Amy,” replied the Doctor. “And I think we just found who got caught up in the chronal surge.”

“Them,” realized Amy. “…They seem…different to the ones I met.”

“Yes, they do seem to take their design cues from their Neomorph cousins,” remarked the Doctor.

“Doctor, Amy, what ARE they?” asked Lurra Rus. The leader of the handle-headed creatures had locked eyes with the Doctor and ran bio-scans as the Doctor revealed who they were.

“…Cybermen!” she hissed.

“So, Doctor,” remarked the Cyber Leader, “a new appearance. Otherwise, our predictions about you tracking the chronal surge that took us is entirely accurate.”