Kamen Rider Vortex Kamen Rider Vortex Chapters

Chapter 9

Homer was asleep at his post, the nuclear rod in his butt. He tossed and turned. “It’s not selling out!” he yelped. “It’s co-branding! Co-branding!” I’m surprised he slept through the crash. In any case, we picked ourselves up out of the wreckage.

“What do you suppose these infernal contraptions want here?” asked Gandalf as he brushed himself off.

“And why are there rivers of glowing green ooze flowing all around this place?” quizzed Hongo, a little worried.

“I wouldn’t worry,” assured Richard. “This thing gets reactor leaks all the time and the radiation doesn’t bother the residents.”

“They’re probably used to it!” I yelped. “We, on the other hand, aren’t!”


“Good idea!” I agreed. “But what about Gandalf, Wyldstyle, and Batman?”

“Never mind us,” assured Batman as we said Henshin and put our suits on. “If we don’t go anywhere near anything radioactive, we should be good. Wyldstyle, your scanner.”

“There’s something at the other end of the plant,” reported Wyldstyle, “maybe the Keystone?”

“Let’s check it out,” called Batman. We went across a catwalk to a locked room with a dial that clearly wasn’t set to keep the steam from leaking. Homer had finally woken up and was apparently informed of the steam leaks somehow. The intercom was still on, so we heard what he was saying.

“What do I do?!” he wailed. “What do I do?!” He even had the instructions in his hands! Even then, he just fiddled with random controls! After a few button presses, he looked back at the book. “All right, brain,” he encouraged said organ, “it’s all up to you!” He read aloud, “check core temperature.” I figured that there was no way he’d screw that up. Too much to hope for. He fiddled with more controls and then went to a black button. “I just press this button…” in reality, no, he shouldn’t have. That button made the steam pipes burst, causing the bridge over a vat of nuclear waste to collapse, and eliciting a “D’oh!” from Homer.

“I get the feeling this guy isn’t quite up to speed on nuclear safety,” muttered Wyldstyle. She then saw some parts. “Hey, Swing, Claw, help me out!”

“If you’re sure,” shrugged Claw. They swapped out their i.d tags for the Wyldstyle one. Once Wyldstyle Steel was activated, they started building a claw that was rolled up with a grapple hook. Batman pulled it with the grapple gun, switching it on and sending a Keystone Transmitter near us from the waste.

“That helps,” called Batman. “Shift Keystone, Activate! Cyan, near the wall outside the window! Yellow, inside top level! Magenta, inside bottom level! Shift! Ichigō! Magenta! Shift! Royal! Yellow!” Ichigō and I went to our respective places. The steam from the pipes in my area blocked my progress. Batman told Ichigō to turn the valve in his area. He did so, thus lowering the pressure so the steam won’t block my path. I then signed to Batman asking if I should go and pull the lever at the end of my area. He gave me the thumbs up and so I pulled the lever. It drained away some of the waste so it could reveal the remains of the bridge. “Shift! Ichigō! Cyan! Shift! Royal! Cyan!” We came out through the cyan portal. Thank goodness. We crossed the bridge, with Arch, Lukas, and I carrying Batman, Gandalf, and Wyldstyle, much to Batman’s annoyance, and saw a guy in a green business suit with an extended upper lip, liver spots on top of his head, and a scheming look to his eyes, and named, I believe, Mr. Burns, take down the zero on the billboard that indicated the days without an accident. It went from zero…to…three?! This whole thing isn’t an accident?!

“Um, excuse me?! Hello?! Thank you?!” yelped Touché. She only says that when something that defies logic happens or when someone says something incredibly dumb. Mr. Burns then turned the billboard that indicated the…days without an otherworldly invasion?! Apparently, it was three hundred twenty-three days without such an occurrence before this one. Mr. Burns changed it to zero, sighed while shaking his head, and walked out slowly. Meanwhile, we were running on a conveyor belt with a bunch of barrels coming out and almost squashing us. We managed to get to the other side when we heard Homer speak.

“Vent radioactive gas? N-O,” he said to himself.

“Homer,” I shrieked internally as I saw people in hazmat suits trying to escape, “anata wa bakada!” (you are an idiot!)

“Homer, you genius!” praised Homer to himself.

“Why is this guy in charge of safety?!” asked Wyldstyle. “He couldn’t cross the road!”

“We need to get across to save those people,” I resolved. The main problem with that was that there were massive covered vents in our way. We could easily reach the first vent, but the second and last were too tall for us to reach, well, maybe not Ichigō, but the rest of us aren’t…wait a minute, that’s it! “Wyldstyle!” I shouted. “Wall jump up there! I think the controls to make this easier are over there!”

“What?” yelped Wyldstyle.

“Just trust me!” I assured. Wyldstyle shrugged as she did as I requested. She found the controls and pulled a lever down. Some steam raised the cover of a vent at different intervals. She got the idea and pulled the other levers. There wasn’t an exact pattern to when the platforms raised, but that was unimportant. Clash then leapt up and landed on a vent cover when it went down. She was then lifted by the steam and raised to another platform. After a few jumps, she gave the thumbs up that our weight would be supported if we went one at a time. I wish she didn’t do that. She’s too valuable to me. We all made it to the other side and heard Homer speak.

“This is my chance to show everyone how professional I am!” he cheered. He then ran around his seat, smashed his fists on the buttons, then banged his head once, then went to sleep! Those actions resulted in a power generator holding door locks to malfunction and release the door latch. Barrels then came out of the door and onto a conveyor belt. They were then put right-side up and put under squashers. Thankfully, that wasn’t our problem at the moment. We had to get the people trapped in the gas out. Ichigō and I punched the glass, got our hands, and opened it from the other side. The people got out as we got something to block the door. Once that was done, we realized our only path was through the squashers. The controls were inside a locked room. Batman’s gauntlet light started glowing green. We looked all around until Gandalf lit up a room in total darkness in a lower level. We brought the transmitter into the light, giving Batman his Keystone Powers.

“Shift Keystone, activate!” he announced. “Magenta, on white panel inside room! Cyan, on scaffolding! Yellow, on the raised platform!”

“Oh yes?” asked Battle. “You’re just going to put the portal on a white panel?”

“Yes,” confirmed Batman.

“On a lower level panel?” quizzed Battle.

“Yes,” replied Batman.

“And people are supposed to reach the controls that way?” asked Battle.

“Yes,” sighed Batman, annoyed.

“…How?” asked Battle. Batman opened his mouth when he realized he was too eager to place portals.

“Batman, you may need me on the scaffolding,” said Gandalf. “The way I see things, there are two components that relate to the door over there. It seems locked for the person that goes in the magenta portal. However, if I were to undo the power that holds the door and transfer to the yellow portal, thus putting me on the platform, I can push something down to Madam Wyldstyle and she can build something to get that panel at a higher elevation.”

“Good idea,” I praised. “Batman, if you please?”

“Shift! Gandalf! Cyan!” announced Batman. Gandalf ended up on the scaffolding, undid the components, unlocking the door for the room and shutting the door that was spewing barrels under the crusher. He was then transferred to the yellow portal and shoved a crate off. Wyldstyle used the parts to build a giant joystick. Battle had changed into Gandalf steel and used magic to move the panel to the upper level. “Shift! Ichigō Gandalf! Wyldstyle! Outback! Hunt! Claw! Swing! Clash! Climb! Gallop! Sengoku! Royal! Guard! Touché! Zhànshì! Arch! Kämpfer! Seeker! Battle! Batman! Magenta!” called Batman, trying a different approach. Tedious, yes, but it worked. We went through the portal and walked along the conveyor belt to end up in front of a hallway with a security camera. I saw the door controls and figured I’d just waltz up and use them. My arrogance proved me wrong as the door controls locked at the sight of me. I turned on my heel and walked back.

“Any suggestions?” I asked, open to ideas.

“Allow me,” replied Batman. He then pulled his cape in front of his face and started going transparent. He went down the hall, fiddled with the controls and deactivated the camera and door locks. That door led to an area filled with toxic waste and a bunch of Micro-managers trying to yank something out of the wall, their boss, I assume, given that it spoke. He was a man in a gray business suit, had an elaborate red and black headdress with a red coffee cup on each side, a chest plate in black with shoulder pads and a red tie in the middle, a long red cape, and black boots with red light up sections that alter his height according to his whims. Judging by the look on Wyldstyle’s face, I’d say it was a certain business lord she’s been on the run from in the past.

“So,” asked the man, “what I’m saying is, why didn’t you just cut a bigger hole?!”

“Just wasn’t in the budget,” joked Rogue’s voice. The business lord didn’t appreciate the joke as Rogue walked in, laughing at the man’s predicament. The business man was the pulled out by the Micro-managers and set upright.

“Lord Business!” hissed Wyldstyle.

“Wyldstyle?” exclaimed Lord Business. “It WAS you meddling!”

“This is impossible!” snapped Wyldstyle. “You were about to graduate from the Master Builder Academy! Why are you up to your old tricks?!”

“Hey, I’d love to catch up,” replied Lord Business, “but I have to grab something and then destroy you and your friends. Mmkay? Mmkay.”

“Short, and to the point,” praised Rogue. “I like that. How about an assist for you? The element’s up there in that man’s hands!” He pointed to Homer who was looking on from an observation window.

“Get the element!” Lord Business ordered his Micro-managers. One of them chased Homer throughout the facility.

“Ow! Hoo-hoo! Ow, my thingies!” screamed Homer. He was then brought into the room in the Micro-manager’s grip. He screamed for a bit, then realized he had a drumstick in his hand, the edible kind, chomped on it, then saw Lord Business and Rogue. “I’m not normally a praying man,” wailed Homer as the Micro-manager threw the drumstick into the ooze, dissolving the meat and leaving the bone, “but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman!” Batman visibly winced at this. Homer then got the wrong idea about Rogue and Lord Business. “Oh my gosh, space aliens! Don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids! Eat them!” He was then taken away.

“Right,” chuckled Lord Business, “that’s the grabbing done. Now, what was the other thing?” A wicked grin appeared on his face.

“You’re going nowhere with this plan!” I snarled.

“And who’s going to stop us, you?” asked Rogue.

“Well, it was nice of you guys to drop by,” said Lord Business, “but Rogue and I don’t have time to play. We’re a little busy.” Batman studied the area.

“Those toxic waste pumps look useful,” he mused, “IF we can get to them.”

“HIT THE DECK!” shouted Guard. As we ducked, a red laser beam swept over us, destroying a gold apparatus, revealing parts that Wyldstyle picked up with Master Builder vision. The laser beam terminated automatically, making Lord Business growl in frustration.

“Look,” he hissed, “this is a new gun, okay! It needs a little time to recharge, so my goons will distract you, all right?”

“Don’t tell them the plan!” snapped Rogue. He summoned Turretorg again.

“There you are!” snarled the monster as it fired on us. We had to dodge its weapons as it fired. Another gold apparatus was destroyed as we dodged shrapnel.

“Do you mind!” shouted Rogue. He swept the area with another laser, destroying the last gold apparatus. “Well, I can safely be called an idiot,” muttered Rogue.

“Darn right!” agreed Wyldstyle as she built a pump, pulled the lever, and spewed toxic waste at Lord Business. After he fell into the pool of the stuff, he got back up, destroyed the pump, and sent parts of the ceiling down on our heads! It destroyed the platform we were on, so we had to use the ceiling panels to stay out of the toxic waste. Lord Business got the gun working again, but we dodged the laser until it ran out of juice again. He grunted in frustration at this.

“Why are you so difficult?!” snarled Lord Business. “Just stay still and let me get you already!” As more of the SWAT-bots came back, Zhànshì activated Wyldstyle Steel, rebuilt the pump, and pumped more toxic waste onto Lord Business. He destroyed the thing again, but Batman saw a Keystone transmitter in the vicinity.

“Shift Keystone, activate!” he announced. “Cyan, on upper left platform! Yellow, on upper middle platform! Magenta, on upper right platform!”

“Really?” asked Lord Business. “It’s like you’re just asking me to attack you in lots of different and interesting ways!”

“If I may use the Cyan portal, please?” I asked Batman.

“Shift! Cyan! Royal!” announced Batman. I went into the portal and got to a control panel for a toxic waste pump.

“Let’s see,” I mused as I looked over the controls. My eyes stopped at a lever. It asked if I wanted to activate the pump. “Y-E-S,” I exclaimed as I pulled the lever. Green ooze spilled onto Lord Business. The flow automatically cut itself off.

“Do you mind?” protested Lord Business. “This is a new suit!”

“I see waste pump controls at the magenta portal!” called Guard.

“Shift! Guard! Magenta!” announced Batman. Guard was transported to the waste pump controls and pressed a button to activate it. More green ooze spilled onto Lord Business.

“We all know that toxic waste gives you awesome super powers,” called Turretorg as it plunged its hand into the stuff, “so you just keep on trying that. Thanks!”

“What are you doing?!” shouted Rogue. At that moment, Turretorg started glowing green. Sickeningly yellow claws appeared on its hands. Its eyes started glowing yellow as well.

“Now, I am Turretoxorg!” announced the new monster. His bullets were like acid as it started melting the metal of the walls!

“Shift! Arch! Yellow!” Arch was sent through the yellow portal, activated Batman Steel, and used the grapple gun to pull the end of a waste pump towards him. It unblocked the flow of waste as it spilled onto Lord Business. He managed to get away from the stuff and switched a walkie-talkie on.

“Tell him ‘It’s showtime!’” he ordered to his forces. Meanwhile, a Micro-manager was chasing Homer as he escaped its grip. He was climbing the walls, swimming in the waste, and hiding among us in funny glasses. He was then caught by a Micro-manager as he gripped the pipes while the black box tugged at his pants, trying to get the nuclear rod stuck in them. It managed to remove the pants and send the rod flying everywhere. It bounced on the Micro-manager and towards Gandalf who used his staff as a bat and hit the rod…right into Rogue’s hands.

“Look at that!” he gloated. “Right into my hand!” Homer was distracted in the meantime.

“Hey! Get your own pants!” shouted the head of the Simpson household before he covered his crotch and shuffled off in embarrassment.

“Hey, it’s been great seeing you catch up with your old friend Lord Business, Madam Wyldstyle,” called Rogue, “but I have somewhere less exploding to be.”

“What about me?” asked Lord Business.

“What about you?” asked Rogue as he took out a remote and pressed a button. Something sparked on the back of Lord Business’ neck. He then looked around the place and saw Wyldstyle.

“Oh, hey, Wyldstyle!” he said pleasantly. “What are you doing here? Er…where IS here, exactly?”

“Don’t even try to play dumb here!” snapped Guard.

“He’s not,” replied Rogue. He held up the remote he had used earlier. “I had originally suggested to my Shocker buddies that they use a mind control chip in your cybernetics, Hongo, but they felt the usual brainwashing methods were still valid.”

“Hey, you said you came to me with a business deal!” protested Lord Business.

“And look where that latent greed got you,” chuckled Turretoxorg. It turned to a Micro-manager. “You know what to do.” Rogue took that as his cue to leave while the Micro-manager advanced menacingly towards us. Turretoxorg made a swipe with its claws as the Micro-manager grabbed a batarang and grabbed the panel we were on. We tried to steady ourselves as Turretoxorg tried to shift the weight around. The Micro-manager took us all up to an ornate office with a model of Springfield inside. Judging by the statues, I’d say that it was Mr. Burns’ office. Gandalf straightened his hat as we looked around. Turretoxorg just looked at us.

“Aren’t you going to fight us?” I asked.

“Now how selfish do you think I am?” quizzed Turretoxorg. I shrugged, and then resigned myself to looking around. I clapped eyes on a strange machine with a Keystone on top. It seemed to have a cone on each end and had a design with a red square, a blue L-shape on the left, and a yellow reverse L-shape on the right. I saw three switches and tried very hard to resist the temptation to touch them. I failed miserably as I turned the machine on. The machine then generated three portals that seemed to suspend a paint blob each, one red, one yellow, and one blue.

“Okay, what’s the power of this Keystone?” I asked to myself. My belt apparently doesn’t pick up on rhetorical questions.


“Okay, thank you,” I interrupted. “I’ll get an explanation later.” A cackle rang through the office.

“Oh no, not him!” moaned Batman.

“Roll up!” announced the voice. “Roll up and witness the hysterically hilarious, the riotously ridiculous, the marvelously mirthful…” a certain clown Batman knew too well slid on his knees on the desk. “…me!” He caught sight of the Dark Knight. “Well, if it isn’t my old pal, Batsy!”

“Joker!” hissed Batman.

“Ding-ding-ding!” replied the Joker. “One point to the Dork Knight!” He let out a laugh. “But, can you tell me what THIS is?” He started looking at a pocket watch as Batman glared at the Joker. Sengoku turned to Turretoxorg.

“I ain’t telling!’ it exclaimed. The pocket watch started ringing as the Joker made a buzzing noise

“Too late!” sniggered the Clown Prince of Crime. “My experts say it’s a power unit! So, let’s see if it’s got enough juice to wake up an old friend of yours, Bat-brain!” The room started trembling. “Ooo hoo hoo! I think it does!” said the Joker.

“Joker, what are you doing?!” rasped Batman.

“Is there a reason behind the Joker’s actions?!” asked Seeker. The Joker blew a kiss at us, then jumped out the window!

“While he’s getting Batman’s old friend prepped,” called Turretoxorg, “how about I summon some of yours, Hongo-san?” It pulled out a radio from a concealed pouch in its chest. “Come forth, Combatmen!” A bunch of men in black uniforms with a skeletal motif and a silver belt buckle with the symbol of an eagle holding Earth came out of the woodwork, literally! They came out of the walls and drew their machete like swords, surrounding us! They kept saying “Yee!” for some odd reason.

“Shocker!” exclaimed Ichigō.

“Let me guess, these are Shocker’s grunts,” theorized Touché.

“Yep,” confirmed Sengoku. “They prefer to attack en masse. You can guess their max strength from there.” The building started shaking again. This time, a giant metallic flower on the lapel of some robot passed by to reveal a mammoth sized metal version of the Joker’s face.

“Oh, not this again!” groaned Batman. “Duck!” A giant, green, four fingered hand grabbed the power unit and attached to the back of the robot the head was attached to. The Joker Robot then lifted the ceiling and a good chunk of the walls, which I believed to be impressive since the right arm was a massive cannon.

“Ready for round two?!” asked the Joker.

“More than ready,” hissed Batman.

“No catchphrases?” asked Turretoxorg.

“Oh, catchphrases?” called the Joker. “Let me hear them!”

“As you wish,” obliged Outback. “Kamen Rider Outback! Better watch your backs, mates!”

“Kamen Rider Claw! My weapons shall turn you into ribbons!”

“Kamen Rider Swing! I’ll be taking your legs!”

“Kamen Rider Hunt! I shall always get my prey!”

“Kamen Rider Clash! A duel with me shall end in your defeat!”

“Kamen Rider Climb! Mountains are a warrior’s best friend!”

“Kamen Rider Gallop! My riding skills are unmatched!”

“Kamen Rider Sengoku! You shall get a taste of Feudal Japan!”

“Kamen Rider Royal! Evil will ultimately bow to me!”

“Kamen Rider Guard! None shall harm my friends, family, and lady!”

“Kamen Rider Touché! En Garde, thing of evil!”

“Kamen Rider Zhànshì! Try and stop my quest!”

“Kamen Rider Arch! My skills outdo Robin Hood!”

“Kamen Rider Kämpfer! Your defeat will be certain at my hands!”

“Kamen Rider Seeker! It’s not gold I seek, but your end!”

“Kamen Rider Battle! For friends and family, I shall be victorious!”

“I am Gandalf the Gray! I shall weave a spell of defeat over you!”

“I’m Wyldstyle! And I am not a DJ!”

“I’m Batman! The Dark Knight rises!”

“I am the start of a group of warriors! I am Kamen Rider!”

“…That was long,” observed Turretoxorg. The robot then grabbed an I-beam and swung it at us. We got out of the way, but barely, what with the Shocker Combatmen something into the air. They turned out to be giant wind up teeth with the Joker’s goons and some strange beings made up of space. They were featureless and had no way to discern their gender. My belt started warbling in an alarming manner.


“Oh, look!” cheered the Joker. “Everyone has come out to see me! Little old me! Too bad there’s no Keystone transmitter for you!”

“You want to bet, clown?!” snarled Batman. “Shift Keystone, activate! Cyan, on the cannon! Yellow, on top of the head! Magenta, on the left arm!”

“Hey, where did they come from?!” called Turretoxorg. It looked around and saw a transmitter near the cannon. “The enemy’s getting aid! Destroy the transmitter!”

“You guys protect the transmitter!” directed Batman. “The Joker’s mine! Hitting him will interrupt his sequence and do some damage, but he’s too far away unless that thing stays online!”

“Just try and hit me, Bratman!” boasted the Joker. “Chroma! Yellow! Joker!” The Joker then jumped into the yellow paint blob on the left arm and was covered in yellow paint.

“Shift! Batman! Magenta!” commanded Batman. He appeared in front of the Joker and attacked him, but the Joker seemed to laugh it off.

“Ah, the wonders of a Keystone!” cheered the Joker. “This baby has given me a very powerful shield, making me immune to enemy attacks!”

“Enemy attacks, eh?” mused Batman. “Shift! Shocker Minion! Magenta!” The Shocker Minion he was referring to was trying to make a flying chop with that blade of his before the magenta portal caught him.

“Yee!” he yelped before he appeared on the Joker Robot’s left arm. Batman used him as a club and made the Joker revert back to his, er, “normal” self.

“Hey!” protested the Joker. “Now that’s not very nice!”

“Yee! Yee!” said the Shocker minion as he smacked the Joker. The Joker threw him off, causing the poor mook to crack his skull when he hit the floor. He died on impact. A couple of Shocker minions saw this and started attacking the Joker’s goons. The Joker, in the meantime, had left a bomb that just spat out a flag that said “BOOM!” on it.

“Simple fix!” chuckled Batman as he rebuilt it to actually explode. Once he got clear, the bomb went off and destroyed the shoulder armor of the robot.

“That’s it!” declared Wyldstyle. “He’s weakening!” A Vortexon tried to jump her, but she kicked it into a Shocker minion’s backside. Soon, the Shocker minions were trying to get rid of the Vortexons and the Joker’s goons.

“WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING!” shouted Turretoxorg. It was then hit with eyebeams that came out of the Joker Robot’s optics, reverting it back to Turretorg. “WHAT’S THE IDEA!” it roared to the Joker.

“Don’t forget to go out with a smile!” called the Joker. More of his goons appeared. “Nice of you to come out and play!” praised their boss. This time, he saw the chaos with the minions. “HEY! CUT THAT OUT!” he shouted. “Chroma! Blue! Joker!” This time, he took a blue coloration.

“Shift! Batman! Turretorg! Cyan!” called Batman. Turretorg was taken by surprise.

“HELP!” it shouted as it was sucked in. Once they were on the cannon arm, Batman started taunting the Joker.

“Of all the unfunny jokes you’ve made, Joker, this has to be the worst!” taunted the Dark Knight. “How is this demonstrating that chaos is eternal? All I see is your ultimate defeat!”

“That’s it,” whispered Turretorg, “keep talking!” It swung a punch to the rear of Batman’s head, but the Dark Knight ducked, allowing the punch to hit the Joker, making him lose his color again.

“Will you just PLAY NICE!” shouted the Joker as he set another bomb. This time, Batman had a little trouble reconfiguring it to actually explode as Turretorg laid down suppressing fire.

“Shift! Kämpfer! Cyan!” called Batman. Kämpfer jumped in and took care of the bomb. It blew up, damaging the cannon arm’s armor. The robot the shot its eyebeams at us again.

“You know something,” hissed the Joker, “having a gun obsessed mole like you help me obtain the Keystone was bad comedy!”

“MOLE?!” roared Turretorg. “YOU’VE GOT A LOT OF NERVE, YOU COURT JESTER! I’LL BLOW A HOLE INTO YOUR STOMACH FOR THIS! VORTEXONS, SLAY THEM!” The Vortexons started overpowering Shocker and the Joker’s goons. “As for you,” it continued saying to the Joker, “it’s time for me to take control of this show!”

“It’s not a show without the Joker! That’s me by the way,” called the Joker. The flower on the robot’s lapel started spewing purple goo. I didn’t know what it was, but it felt toxic to me.

“This metal giant appears to have a strange contraption attached to it!” observed Gandalf as he attacked his foes with Glamdring. He was referring to something that had escaped my notice! It was next to the Keystone power unit and seemed to be patterned like a circuit board!

“I think that’s the robot’s brain!” I declared.

“Oops!” said the Joker. “Forgot to patch that! Chroma! Joker! Red!” He landed on the head to protect the brain.

“Not this time, clown!” called Batman. “Shift! Batman! Vortexon! Yellow!” Batman grabbed a Vortexon and jumped in, swinging the poor creature on the Joker. The Joker had lost his shield and set one last bomb. The Vortexon tried to keep Batman at bay but failed as he reconfigured it to explode. The brain was destroyed as the robot went to a standstill to expose the belly.

“Claw! Hunt!” exclaimed Ichigō. “With me!” They jumped into the air. “RIDER KICK!”


“RIDER HUNT KICK!” The robot wobbled from the impact. It then proceeded to fall on its face! We got out of the way quickly. The minions of the enemy, not as lucky. The Joker popped out of the bloody wreckage with the Keystone in hand.

“Ooh, this looks valuable!” he cheered.

“MORON!” roared Turretorg as it punched the Joker. Batman was about to grab the Keystone, but the Joker brought out his tommy-gun. Batman backed off. The Joker got out his walkie-talkie.

“Hi,” he said, “I’m going to need a taxi from the roof of Springfield Nuclear Power Plant!”

“Add me to the list of passengers as well!” called Turretorg. A portal opened for the Joker and Turretorg.

“Oh, never mind,” laughed the Joker. “One’s here. Be seeing you around, Bat…” As he picked up the Keystone, Gandalf whacked the Joker with his staff and tripped up both the clown and Turretorg, making them fly into the vortex.

“I’ll be taking that, thank you!” snapped the grey wizard as he grabbed the Keystone. A portal opened for us. “Shall we?” asked Gandalf. I pressed the vehicle summon button to get Shadowfax, the Batmobile, the Cyclone, Wyldstyle’s bike, and the F.N.S’s horses. All riders then powered down and adopted our human forms.

“After you, good Sir Gandalf,” I said as I mounted my horse. Lord Business had caught up to us. He had apparently built himself a decontamination room and then converted it to a car. He explained that Shocker had kidnapped him after he was fooled by Hiro’s idea of a business negotiation and planted the mind-control chip on him when he was still in Octan Tower after getting his graduation invite. After accepting his request to join us until he could get home, we all boarded our vehicles and Gandalf led the charge out of Springfield. Thank goodness. I was going to enjoy a nice long bath to wash my entire body of this whole affair! I didn’t want to stay in Springfield a minute longer!

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