The day of the party arrived. It would be held in the afternoon, so Lardeth and his lovers milled around a bit. Malnar took care of a few matters of state concerning the Under-realm, but there was nothing that needed her immediate presence there. Lardeth was in his new outfit and taking things easy. He simply snuggled with Arsha and Malnar on the balcony as they waited for Falnii’s portrait sitting to be over. Like Gorfanth, she chose the most important thing to her family. “…You know,” he mused, “there IS something on my mind.”
“What’s that, Princess?” asked Arsha.
“When we get married, how are we gonna split our time up among the Realms? I mean, how will we go from castle to castle?”
“You know that personal Realmgate network Dr. Borg had?” asked Malnar.
“What about it?”
“We’re making one for the castles. That way we can go from castle to castle without a ship.
“Well, that will make things-” Arsha stopped as she looked across the grounds. “…Er, Lardeth, what are you doing over there in your old outfit?” There, coming across the grounds and looking shifty, was Lardeth in his old dress. The Lardeth Arsha and Malnar snuggled with then got a sour look on his face.
“Temnobal!” he hissed.
“I thought he was a full Zephyr,” muttered Malnar.
“He’s supposed to be an actor,” recalled Arsha.
“There’s no way we can get rid of him in time!” groaned Lardeth. Arsha then snapped her fingers.
“Lardeth, does he have any food allergies?” she asked. Lardeth then grinned.
“As a matter of fact, he does! He’s lactose intolerant AND he’s got a peanut allergy!”
“Well, the REAL Lardeth can’t say no to Peanut Butter Ballet ice cream, can he?”
“No, he can’t!”
“You two stall him,” said Arsha. “I’ll get the ice cream!” Arsha dashed off to the kitchens as Lardeth and Malnar then approached Lardeth’s copycat, Temnobal. Temnobal saw Malnar and saw this as an opportunity.
“Malnar, my love!” he called in a dramatic fashion. He then ‘fainted’ in her arms. “Oh, my lovely inferno! It’s horrible! A most vile man is impersonating me and-!” He saw the actual Lardeth. “YOU FIEND!” He got out of Malnar’s arms and pointed an accusing finger at him. “Don’t believe a word he says! He’s an imposter!”
“Oh, come on!” argued Lardeth. “Of all the roles you played, this has to be the least researched!” Malnar decided to play along.
“Oh no!” she mockingly wailed. “Which Lardeth is which?! They’re both the same!”
“Help is on the way!” called Arsha as she brought two custard dishes of ice cream. Temnobal saw it and goggled in horror.
“NOPE!” he yelped and dashed off.
“GUARDS!” called Lardeth. The guards arrived and chased after Temnobal. He jumped into the pond, washing his make up off. Archers fired arrows near him, intending on warning shots. He then fired a magic rope, wrapping it around Malnar, and pulling her to him. He then held a sword at her throat.
“Your letter shamed me in front of my agent!” he shouted at Lardeth. “If I don’t get invited, then no oneARGHAHAHA!” Malnar shoved her hand onto his face and cast a branding spell on him. Her handprint was seared onto his face. He dropped his sword and released Malnar from the pain.
“Now no sane theater will have you!” snarled Malnar. “Hold the Under-Queen hostage, you WILL suffer at her hands!”
“Guards, throw my traitorous ex-boyfriend into the dungeon!” ordered Lardeth. The guards quickly dragged Temnobal away. A few stayed behind to make sure Malnar was okay.
“Your Majesty, I swear-!” Malnar cut the guard off with a raised hand.
“I’m well aware this isn’t normal for the castle,” she said reassuringly. “I’ve been here numerous times. You lot already dealt with the problem. Lardeth’s gonna be well protected when he becomes King.”
“You flatter us, Your Majesty,” said another guard.
“I’m telling it like it is.” The trumpets then sounded.
“The guests are arriving!” realized Arsha.
“Let the party begin!”
Lords and Ladies from all over Wysper City arrived to bid Happy Birthday to Lardeth. Once the day was done, the kings and queens arrived the next day and made their way to the throne room for the Royal Tradition. The future ruler would be the monarch presiding over a comedy trial, then they would be crowned after the trial was completed. This one was a special one as the Three Maidens would be involved. When everyone assembled, Lardeth thumped the Ruling Staff. “We hereby call this court to order!” he called, using the Royal We. “This court shall determine the innocence or guilt of Ms. Sho Girla as she stands accused of murdering her lover, Mrs. Milnaf Wilnurma! Ms. Girla, approach the throne!” A priest stood by with the Codex as a Zephyr woman in a rather flashy outfit placed her hand on it and raised her free hand.
“Doyousolemnlysweartotellthetruththewholetruthandnothingbutthetruth?” the priest said in one breath.
“I do,” said Ms. Girla. The prosecutor, another Zephyr woman, then approached the stand as Ms. Girla sat down.
“What is your name?” she asked.
“Sho Girla,” replied Ms. Girla.
“What is your occupation?”
“I’m a dancer.”
“On the night of Jamfaf the forty-second, were you working at the Flights of Fancy café when this murder was committed?”
“Yes, but I didn’t do it!”
“Then who killed Milnaf Wilmurna?!” The prosecutor was trying to get a reaction.
“I don’t know!” pleaded Ms. Girla.
“Perhaps you’re trying to-!”
“I object, Your Majesty!” called the defense lawyer, an Elf man named Bujamiso, Curlandii’s husband. “I ask that such a question be stricken from the records! It is merely an attempt to influence this intelligent, broad-minded, and most intellectual jury assisting you.” He was referring to the fifty Lords and Ladies seated to Lardeth’s left.
“Objection sustained,” replied Lardeth.
“Thank you, Your Excellency,” said Bujamiso. The prosecutor looked back at Ms. Girla.
“That is all,” she grunted, her strategy discovered. Ms. Girla sat back with her lawyer. A parrot-sized wyvern in a cage screeched.
“Find the letter!” it called.
“Quiet, Wacky,” commanded Bujamiso. He then turned to Lardeth. “If it pleases Your Grace, I would like to introduce my three main witnesses; Hanorfal, Finbragill, and Hanorfal.” He turned to see that their seat was empty. Annoyance crossed his face. “They were here a minute ago! Would you pardon me, Your Majesty? I’ll be right back!” He ran out of the throne room to find her witnesses. After a few minutes, they ran into the throne room. They were the Three Maidens dressed in gowns instead of their usual Elven peasantry clothes. Curlandii’s ensemble included a bowler hat and a cane for fashion’s sake. They ran through the gate at the end of the aisle with the gate knocking into Moru’s knees. Curlandii dodged it and stuck her tongue out. Bujamiso then locked the gate and swung himself over it. Curlandii then rattled the gate and tried to swing herself over it but ended up falling to the floor. As Moru and Larima picked her up, Lardeth thumped the Staff of Ruling to call order.
“Will you ladies,” he said, “please try to be a little more quiet in this court?”
“Certainly, Kingaloo!” replied Curlandii. “The gate is locked!”
“Will you please step forward?” Bujamiso asked Curlandii. She stepped forward one step. “No, no, no! Prepare yourself for the witness box!” Curlandii then dusted herself off and pointed the end of her cane at Bujamiso while rapidly knocking her bowler against her scalp. Moru then shoved her to the stand. The priest then approached her with the Codex.
