Kamen Rider Vortex Kamen Rider Vortex Movie Chapters

Chapter 13

After we rested up, we got into various vehicles, pickup trucks, camper vans, motorcycles, what have you. We then departed for Merasmus’ Carnival of Carnage. I reflected on how Merasmus owed $12,000 to the Japanese Mafia when he was making it. Then my thoughts drifted to when he crossed the Russian Mafia. “When’s he gonna learn?” I mumbled.

“What did you mutter?” rumbled the BLU Heavy driving the truck I was in.

“The Joker’s a crime boss,” I explained so he could hear me. “This would make him the third crime boss Merasmus crossed paths with.”

“Wizard is not too bright,” replied the BLU Heavy. “Not even Scouts of both teams would make stupid mistake.”

“…Did anyone ever comment how much you and the RED Heavy look alike?” I remarked, changing the topic.

“We are same,” answered the BLU Heavy.

“…Huh?” I quizzed.

“Both teams are clones of same people,” explained the BLU Heavy. “Our minds are linked to our original selves.”

“You guys are clones?!” I yelped.

“Administrator believes none of us know but both me and RED Heavy, both Spies, both Snipers, both Medics, and both Engineers know,” continued the BLU Heavy.

“What would happen if the Administrator found out?” I quizzed.

“No chance,” answered the BLU Heavy. “Joker killed her before she could. Her clone was placed on lockdown until this whole thing blows over, according to Spies.”

“I thought she had a life-extending machine powered by Australium,” I remarked.

“It only worked on age, not bullets,” replied the BLU Heavy.

“So, why do you lot persist in continuing a feud long after the two founders, Redmond and Blutarch Mann, died?” I asked.

“Enough talk,” grunted the BLU Heavy. “We are here.” The Carnival WAS in sight, but the answer I got meant that the conversation was at an end. He was right. Time to plan our strategy. As we set up camp outside the Carnival, I motioned the Spies and Scouts over.

“This is probably not gonna be like y’all are familiar with,” I explained. “I need you to case the place.”

“A question,” interjected the RED Spy. “Why are we joining with the Scouts?” I then motioned them to come nearer so I could whisper why. They leaned in and I explained.

“Those idiots will, in all likelihood,” I whispered, “try to outdo each other and the Joker is NOT an enemy where you can afford to do so. I know this is asking you to do the Scouts’ job as well as your own, but I need someone to get the job done.”

“Je comprends,” (I understand) replied the BLU Spy.

“We shall depart immediately,” declared the RED Spy. The Scouts and Spies then headed off.

“Someone got a map of the place?” I asked.

“Here,” replied the RED Sniper. He handed over a map that indicated where the teams would usually spawn.

“Now, any class tokens?” I requested. Pup-X5 then handed over black, red, and blue versions of each TF2 class’s symbol. “Good dog,” I praised as I laid them out. “Okay, red and blue will represent you guys while black will represent the enemy forces. Now, we wait for the report.” It took a good hour, but the Scouts and Spies told us where the enemy was hiding within the Carnival. “Perfect,” I praised as I placed the black tokens where the enemies were. We then started making a plan of attack.

It was simple, the Heavies and Soldiers would clear a path to the center while the Scouts pick off any ground forces still remaining. The Snipers would take care of any airborne enemies while the Demomen would hide sticky bombs near the enemy spawn, effectively trapping them for the foreseeable future. Once a path was cleared, the Engineers would set up their sentries and dispensers around the center while the Soldiers and Heavies joined them with the Medics. The Pyros would set fire to any areas that would serve as cover for the enemy while the Spies infiltrated the center of their operations and download any information from their computers. The rest of us would assist the Scouts and Snipers in picking off the enemy forces that manage to get past the Demomen’s sticky bombs. Us Riders had already changed into our Rider personas. We entered the battlefield with the Soldiers announcing our presence. “Last one alive, lock the door!” shouted the BLU Soldier.

“ATTACK!” shouted the RED soldier. We charged forward, our bloodlust at its peak…only to find no one. “…What?” asked the RED Soldier.

“Something is different!” remarked the BLU Heavy.

“Scouts!” I growled.

“There WERE people here!” protested the BLU Scout.

“I can confirm this,” supplied the RED Spy.

“Where in Sam Hill are they, then?!” asked the RED Engineer.

“Something isn’t right,” muttered Arch.

“Not right is putting it mildly,” shuddered Seeker. We took up our positions on a heightened state of alert. Seeker was near me as we scanned the area. This lasted for a good hour.

“This is ridiculous,” I whispered. “I’m starting to seize up from being in a constant state of tension.”

“I’m going through the same thing,” replied Seeker. “Where are they?”

“¿Qué tal?” (What’s up?) asked a voice. Given that it was Spanish and feminine, I looked at Seeker.

“Que no era yo,” she gulped.

“What do you mean that wasn’t you?!” I hissed.

“Exactly what it sounds like!” replied Seeker.

“¡Apagando las luces!” (Turning off the lights!) announced the voice. Just then, a horrible idea struck me.

“…It can’t be…” I breathed.

“SENTRY DOWN!” called one of the Engineers before eliciting a dying noise. We headed to the Engineers to see a woman appearing in purple light. She had half her head shaved to reveal some cybernetic circuits leading to her spine. Her main color scheme was purple. She had conjured up a holographic keyboard and typed in a few commands before spotting us, then miming a kiss before dismissing the keyboard.

“Sombra!” I breathed.

“Aw, you DO know me!” cooed the woman.

“But, how did you get to this universe?!” I protested.

“A little help from Shocker Rift,” replied Sombra. “By the way, you’re making the assumption that I came alone, amigo.” I then realized what was happening.


“Just once, keep that mouth of yours shut!” rasped a voice. Black smoke then came out of the center of the map and formed itself into a man dressed in a cowl with a skull like mask on his face. This was Overwatch’s Reaper, a member of the terrorist organization, Talon, the same one Sombra belonged to. He leveled two large shotguns at us and fired, causing us to scatter. The Joker’s laugh then rang throughout the map.

“Roll up! Roll up! Come see the crossover that should never exist!” he cheered. “A debate that’s just as emotion-inducing as Star Wars vs. Star Trek! The Joker presents to you Team Fortress 2 vs. Overwatch!” The rest of Talon then arrived, the leader; Doomfist, the Sniper; Widowmaker, the geneticist; Moira, and the astrophysicist; Sigma.


“Try us,” taunted Doomfist as we took cover. Unfortunately, Talon’s presence caused us to scatter. Widowmaker was sending us to the respawn rooms at too quick a rate by swooping through the air with her grappling hook and firing her gun in automatic mode, Doomfist’s signature gauntlet caused insane amounts of damage, Reaper just couldn’t stay down, Moira healed her allies and caused all sorts of havoc on us with her Biotic Orb of Discord, Sombra hacked anything mechanical on us, and Sigma kept slowing us down by altering our personal gravity fields. I respawned in the BLU spawn, as did the BLU Medic and Wyldstyle.

“We’re not winning this one, are we?” muttered Wyldstyle.

“Not yet,” I replied. “Isn’t there ANYTHING that can help us?” The BLU Scout then appeared.

“STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!” he protested.

“Take it easy!” I directed.

“This is unacceptable!” the BLU Medic snapped. “We’re getting killed left, right, and center! I can’t stay alive long enough to get the ÜberCharge ready! Neither can my RED colleague!”

“We’ll have to try again,” I remarked. “The mission’s still a go!” We departed the respawn and tried to take up positions that Talon couldn’t reach. A mistake, as we separated from each other, leaving a certain hacker to pull me aside.

“Well, well, well,” purred Sombra, “a little man all on his own.” I raised my gun. “¡Relájate! No hay por qué preocuparse.” (Calm down! There’s nothing to worry about.)

“No te creo,” (I don’t believe you.) I hissed.

“Oh, you DO know Spanish,” grumbled Sombra.

“My dad’s former superior has family in Mexico City,” I explained. “I took every available opportunity to learn Spanish from him, originally to wind up my grandfather.”

“Well, I suppose I can’t fault one for winding up a racist asshole,” she sighed.

“Let me say, you aren’t exactly doing my dad’s former superior any favors or helping him dispel any stereotypes,” I hissed.

“Are you sure you want to talk to me that way, kiddo?” chuckled Sombra. “Especially since, after scouring the databases hidden in your belts, I found some juicy secrets you’d rather leave hidden from the new guys you picked up?”

“…Tell Victor anything,” I threatened, “and your head will be mounted above my fireplace!”

“You’re not in a position to make threats!” laughed Sombra.

“I’m warning you!” I continued. Sombra activated her keyboards and keyed in a command with the biggest smirk on her face. The results…weren’t what either of us expected. O Canada played as a hologram of the Canadian Flag flapped.

“¿Qué?” (What?) squawked Sombra. A hand grabbed her shoulder, turned her around, and its partner slugged her in the jaw! The figure was Range in armor evoking her!

“The EMP of Sombra,” explained Range. “Grants me armor and your abilities. While you were talking, I was hacking your spinal graft!”

“But…but I programmed my graft’s security measures!” protested Sombra. “How did…?!”

“You didn’t quadruple check to see if you left a backdoor open!” answered Range as he fired on Sombra. She threw a translocator beacon at a safe spot as she ran from us and teleported to the beacon before throwing it again and teleporting away. Widowmaker then shot us and made us respawn in the BLU room.

“Range, I owe you a…!” I gasped.

“I know the secret she was talking about,” replied Range coldly. “What everyone on the team owes me is an explanation.” With that, he left to rejoin the fight. I was left with figuring out how I was gonna explain it all to him. Wyldstyle’s appearance snapped me out of my thoughts, as did the grin on her face.

“There’s a Chroma Lock design on the giant Strongman machine!” she reported.

“Then that’s our goal!” I declared, temporarily pushing my future conversation with Range to the back of my mind. I relayed the order to find the Chroma Discs, explaining what they are to the Mercenaries, as we fought. The Joker, evidently, saw that we were organizing and decided to join the fray to keep us in a chaotic state. He fired on us as we kept up our defenses. Range had heard about the Chroma Lock and found it on the machine’s backside. It had an orange circle, a green left L-shape, and a purple right L-shape.

“Over here!” called Arch. He was on the left of the RED respawn room with the blue Chroma Disc. The Joker then caught sight of the disc!

“I remember that Keystone!” he snapped. “Hand it over!”

“Oh no, you don’t!” argued Wyldstyle as she used a few bits of the Strongman machine to make a bazooka. “That’s mine!” She fired, knocking the Joker off his feet.

“Ah, so it’s magic we’re using!” giggled the Joker. “Oh, wizard!”

“Cower, fools!” cackled a voice as a man flew around us with a skull on his head and a staff in his hand. “Merasmus is here!”

“Merasmus! I am going to pull a rabbit out of your ass!” snarled the BLU Soldier.

“You are ten pounds of ghost crap in a five pound dress!” supplied the RED Soldier.

“Stop talking and start shooting!” I shouted. As I ordered that, Pup-X5 found the yellow Chroma Disc near the platform of the Strongman machine. Merasmus fired various spells and kept us running.

“Fellas!” called the RED Engineer as he found the red Chroma Disc near the wooden Merasmus head looking out at the map in a fortune teller machine.

“ENOUGH!” declared Merasmus. “By the power of the Bombinomicon!” He pulled out an eldritch book with a bomb fuse on the front.

“Everyone down!” warned the RED Soldier. “He’s got a book!”

“All right, stand back!” called the voice of the Bombinomicon. “Have some bombs, guys!” The book spat out large bombs at us, all of us, even Talon and the Joker.

“WATCH YOUR AIM!” roared Reaper as a bomb exploded near him.

“Oh, this is so wonderful!” laughed the Joker.

“Why did I join your ilk?” muttered Doomfist. Just then, the Wheel of Fate appeared!

“The Wheel!” announced Merasmus as it spun. “Come on… Set them all on fire.” The Wheel then chose our fate! “You are GODS!” The ÜberCharge Fate! Yes! “Aha,” gulped Merasmus, “that may SEEM good, but it WILL be bad. In the fullness of time.”

“IDIOT!” roared Doomfist as we took advantage of the effects of the mass ÜberCharge. Talon was trying to put us down but could no longer secure the advantage.

“Now’s a good time!” declared Wyldstyle. “Chroma Keystone, activate! Chroma lock, reveal!” The Lock design appeared on the ground. “Chroma! Red! Range! Chroma! Yellow! RED Engineer! Chroma! Blue! BLU Soldier!” The people she directed jumped into their respective paint blobs.

“Great, a permanent ÜberCharge for those nitwits!” wailed the Joker as he fired on those of us that weren’t painted. Range went into the circle, the BLU Soldier went into the right L-shape, and the RED Engineer took the left L-shape. Range then moved to the BLU Soldier’s position, convinced the BLU Soldier to take the RED Engineer’s place, and the RED Engineer took Range’s place, causing the lock design to match the one on the Strongman machine. A door opened to reveal a Gateway!

“Pup-X5, see if you can program the Gateway to suck in only Merasmus, the Joker, and Talon!” I directed. Pup-X5 gave a thumbs up and hurried off to do so. Just then, the Engineers ran from the field! “HEY!” I shouted.

“Need to check the respawns!” called the RED Engineer. “Sombra may have hacked them!”

“Be back soon!” supplied the BLU Engineer.

“COME BACK!” I shouted. Too late. They vanished. “And I thought the Spies were sneaky rats!” I hissed. We had to try and keep the enemy off Pup-X5’s back as he programmed the Gateway. It took a while, but Pup-X5 gave us the thumbs up. “Throw it!” I called.

“No, you don’t!” shouted the Joker as he shot the Gateway. Pup-X5’s optics went wide.

“The suction won’t be as strong unless they’re in the air!” read his tablet as the Gateway activated.

“How are we gonna get them into the air?!” I protested.

“Maybe I can help!” called the voice of an Engineer.

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