Tag: technarain

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Kamen Rider Vortex Kamen Rider Vortex Movie Chapters

Chapter 13

After we rested up, we got into various vehicles, pickup trucks, camper vans, motorcycles, what have you. We then departed for Merasmus’ Carnival of Carnage. I reflected on how Merasmus owed $12,000 to the Japanese Mafia when he was making it. Then my thoughts drifted to when he crossed the Russian Mafia. “When’s he gonna learn?” I mumbled.

“What did you mutter?” rumbled the BLU Heavy driving the truck I was in.

“The Joker’s a crime boss,” I explained so he could hear me. “This would make him the third crime boss Merasmus crossed paths with.”

“Wizard is not too bright,” replied the BLU Heavy. “Not even Scouts of both teams would make stupid mistake.”

“…Did anyone ever comment how much you and the RED Heavy look alike?” I remarked, changing the topic.

“We are same,” answered the BLU Heavy.

“…Huh?” I quizzed.

“Both teams are clones of same people,” explained the BLU Heavy. “Our minds are linked to our original selves.”

“You guys are clones?!” I yelped.

“Administrator believes none of us know but both me and RED Heavy, both Spies, both Snipers, both Medics, and both Engineers know,” continued the BLU Heavy.

“What would happen if the Administrator found out?” I quizzed.

“No chance,” answered the BLU Heavy. “Joker killed her before she could. Her clone was placed on lockdown until this whole thing blows over, according to Spies.”

“I thought she had a life-extending machine powered by Australium,” I remarked.

“It only worked on age, not bullets,” replied the BLU Heavy.

“So, why do you lot persist in continuing a feud long after the two founders, Redmond and Blutarch Mann, died?” I asked.

“Enough talk,” grunted the BLU Heavy. “We are here.” The Carnival WAS in sight, but the answer I got meant that the conversation was at an end. He was right. Time to plan our strategy. As we set up camp outside the Carnival, I motioned the Spies and Scouts over.

“This is probably not gonna be like y’all are familiar with,” I explained. “I need you to case the place.”

“A question,” interjected the RED Spy. “Why are we joining with the Scouts?” I then motioned them to come nearer so I could whisper why. They leaned in and I explained.

“Those idiots will, in all likelihood,” I whispered, “try to outdo each other and the Joker is NOT an enemy where you can afford to do so. I know this is asking you to do the Scouts’ job as well as your own, but I need someone to get the job done.”

“Je comprends,” (I understand) replied the BLU Spy.

“We shall depart immediately,” declared the RED Spy. The Scouts and Spies then headed off.

“Someone got a map of the place?” I asked.

“Here,” replied the RED Sniper. He handed over a map that indicated where the teams would usually spawn.

“Now, any class tokens?” I requested. Pup-X5 then handed over black, red, and blue versions of each TF2 class’s symbol. “Good dog,” I praised as I laid them out. “Okay, red and blue will represent you guys while black will represent the enemy forces. Now, we wait for the report.” It took a good hour, but the Scouts and Spies told us where the enemy was hiding within the Carnival. “Perfect,” I praised as I placed the black tokens where the enemies were. We then started making a plan of attack.

It was simple, the Heavies and Soldiers would clear a path to the center while the Scouts pick off any ground forces still remaining. The Snipers would take care of any airborne enemies while the Demomen would hide sticky bombs near the enemy spawn, effectively trapping them for the foreseeable future. Once a path was cleared, the Engineers would set up their sentries and dispensers around the center while the Soldiers and Heavies joined them with the Medics. The Pyros would set fire to any areas that would serve as cover for the enemy while the Spies infiltrated the center of their operations and download any information from their computers. The rest of us would assist the Scouts and Snipers in picking off the enemy forces that manage to get past the Demomen’s sticky bombs. Us Riders had already changed into our Rider personas. We entered the battlefield with the Soldiers announcing our presence. “Last one alive, lock the door!” shouted the BLU Soldier.

“ATTACK!” shouted the RED soldier. We charged forward, our bloodlust at its peak…only to find no one. “…What?” asked the RED Soldier.

“Something is different!” remarked the BLU Heavy.

“Scouts!” I growled.

“There WERE people here!” protested the BLU Scout.

“I can confirm this,” supplied the RED Spy.

“Where in Sam Hill are they, then?!” asked the RED Engineer.

“Something isn’t right,” muttered Arch.

“Not right is putting it mildly,” shuddered Seeker. We took up our positions on a heightened state of alert. Seeker was near me as we scanned the area. This lasted for a good hour.

“This is ridiculous,” I whispered. “I’m starting to seize up from being in a constant state of tension.”

“I’m going through the same thing,” replied Seeker. “Where are they?”

“¿Qué tal?” (What’s up?) asked a voice. Given that it was Spanish and feminine, I looked at Seeker.

“Que no era yo,” she gulped.

“What do you mean that wasn’t you?!” I hissed.

“Exactly what it sounds like!” replied Seeker.

“¡Apagando las luces!” (Turning off the lights!) announced the voice. Just then, a horrible idea struck me.

“…It can’t be…” I breathed.

“SENTRY DOWN!” called one of the Engineers before eliciting a dying noise. We headed to the Engineers to see a woman appearing in purple light. She had half her head shaved to reveal some cybernetic circuits leading to her spine. Her main color scheme was purple. She had conjured up a holographic keyboard and typed in a few commands before spotting us, then miming a kiss before dismissing the keyboard.

“Sombra!” I breathed.

“Aw, you DO know me!” cooed the woman.

“But, how did you get to this universe?!” I protested.

“A little help from Shocker Rift,” replied Sombra. “By the way, you’re making the assumption that I came alone, amigo.” I then realized what was happening.

“GUYS! TALON’S IN THIS UNIVERSE!” I warned.

“Just once, keep that mouth of yours shut!” rasped a voice. Black smoke then came out of the center of the map and formed itself into a man dressed in a cowl with a skull like mask on his face. This was Overwatch’s Reaper, a member of the terrorist organization, Talon, the same one Sombra belonged to. He leveled two large shotguns at us and fired, causing us to scatter. The Joker’s laugh then rang throughout the map.

“Roll up! Roll up! Come see the crossover that should never exist!” he cheered. “A debate that’s just as emotion-inducing as Star Wars vs. Star Trek! The Joker presents to you Team Fortress 2 vs. Overwatch!” The rest of Talon then arrived, the leader; Doomfist, the Sniper; Widowmaker, the geneticist; Moira, and the astrophysicist; Sigma.

“TAKE COVER!” I shouted. “MAKE THEM LOSE!”

“Try us,” taunted Doomfist as we took cover. Unfortunately, Talon’s presence caused us to scatter. Widowmaker was sending us to the respawn rooms at too quick a rate by swooping through the air with her grappling hook and firing her gun in automatic mode, Doomfist’s signature gauntlet caused insane amounts of damage, Reaper just couldn’t stay down, Moira healed her allies and caused all sorts of havoc on us with her Biotic Orb of Discord, Sombra hacked anything mechanical on us, and Sigma kept slowing us down by altering our personal gravity fields. I respawned in the BLU spawn, as did the BLU Medic and Wyldstyle.

“We’re not winning this one, are we?” muttered Wyldstyle.

“Not yet,” I replied. “Isn’t there ANYTHING that can help us?” The BLU Scout then appeared.

“STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!” he protested.

“Take it easy!” I directed.

“This is unacceptable!” the BLU Medic snapped. “We’re getting killed left, right, and center! I can’t stay alive long enough to get the ÜberCharge ready! Neither can my RED colleague!”

“We’ll have to try again,” I remarked. “The mission’s still a go!” We departed the respawn and tried to take up positions that Talon couldn’t reach. A mistake, as we separated from each other, leaving a certain hacker to pull me aside.

“Well, well, well,” purred Sombra, “a little man all on his own.” I raised my gun. “¡Relájate! No hay por qué preocuparse.” (Calm down! There’s nothing to worry about.)

“No te creo,” (I don’t believe you.) I hissed.

“Oh, you DO know Spanish,” grumbled Sombra.

“My dad’s former superior has family in Mexico City,” I explained. “I took every available opportunity to learn Spanish from him, originally to wind up my grandfather.”

“Well, I suppose I can’t fault one for winding up a racist asshole,” she sighed.

“Let me say, you aren’t exactly doing my dad’s former superior any favors or helping him dispel any stereotypes,” I hissed.

“Are you sure you want to talk to me that way, kiddo?” chuckled Sombra. “Especially since, after scouring the databases hidden in your belts, I found some juicy secrets you’d rather leave hidden from the new guys you picked up?”

“…Tell Victor anything,” I threatened, “and your head will be mounted above my fireplace!”

“You’re not in a position to make threats!” laughed Sombra.

“I’m warning you!” I continued. Sombra activated her keyboards and keyed in a command with the biggest smirk on her face. The results…weren’t what either of us expected. O Canada played as a hologram of the Canadian Flag flapped.

“¿Qué?” (What?) squawked Sombra. A hand grabbed her shoulder, turned her around, and its partner slugged her in the jaw! The figure was Range in armor evoking her!

“The EMP of Sombra,” explained Range. “Grants me armor and your abilities. While you were talking, I was hacking your spinal graft!”

“But…but I programmed my graft’s security measures!” protested Sombra. “How did…?!”

“You didn’t quadruple check to see if you left a backdoor open!” answered Range as he fired on Sombra. She threw a translocator beacon at a safe spot as she ran from us and teleported to the beacon before throwing it again and teleporting away. Widowmaker then shot us and made us respawn in the BLU room.

“Range, I owe you a…!” I gasped.

“I know the secret she was talking about,” replied Range coldly. “What everyone on the team owes me is an explanation.” With that, he left to rejoin the fight. I was left with figuring out how I was gonna explain it all to him. Wyldstyle’s appearance snapped me out of my thoughts, as did the grin on her face.

“There’s a Chroma Lock design on the giant Strongman machine!” she reported.

“Then that’s our goal!” I declared, temporarily pushing my future conversation with Range to the back of my mind. I relayed the order to find the Chroma Discs, explaining what they are to the Mercenaries, as we fought. The Joker, evidently, saw that we were organizing and decided to join the fray to keep us in a chaotic state. He fired on us as we kept up our defenses. Range had heard about the Chroma Lock and found it on the machine’s backside. It had an orange circle, a green left L-shape, and a purple right L-shape.

“Over here!” called Arch. He was on the left of the RED respawn room with the blue Chroma Disc. The Joker then caught sight of the disc!

“I remember that Keystone!” he snapped. “Hand it over!”

“Oh no, you don’t!” argued Wyldstyle as she used a few bits of the Strongman machine to make a bazooka. “That’s mine!” She fired, knocking the Joker off his feet.

“Ah, so it’s magic we’re using!” giggled the Joker. “Oh, wizard!”

“Cower, fools!” cackled a voice as a man flew around us with a skull on his head and a staff in his hand. “Merasmus is here!”

“Merasmus! I am going to pull a rabbit out of your ass!” snarled the BLU Soldier.

“You are ten pounds of ghost crap in a five pound dress!” supplied the RED Soldier.

“Stop talking and start shooting!” I shouted. As I ordered that, Pup-X5 found the yellow Chroma Disc near the platform of the Strongman machine. Merasmus fired various spells and kept us running.

“Fellas!” called the RED Engineer as he found the red Chroma Disc near the wooden Merasmus head looking out at the map in a fortune teller machine.

“ENOUGH!” declared Merasmus. “By the power of the Bombinomicon!” He pulled out an eldritch book with a bomb fuse on the front.

“Everyone down!” warned the RED Soldier. “He’s got a book!”

“All right, stand back!” called the voice of the Bombinomicon. “Have some bombs, guys!” The book spat out large bombs at us, all of us, even Talon and the Joker.

“WATCH YOUR AIM!” roared Reaper as a bomb exploded near him.

“Oh, this is so wonderful!” laughed the Joker.

“Why did I join your ilk?” muttered Doomfist. Just then, the Wheel of Fate appeared!

“The Wheel!” announced Merasmus as it spun. “Come on… Set them all on fire.” The Wheel then chose our fate! “You are GODS!” The ÜberCharge Fate! Yes! “Aha,” gulped Merasmus, “that may SEEM good, but it WILL be bad. In the fullness of time.”

“IDIOT!” roared Doomfist as we took advantage of the effects of the mass ÜberCharge. Talon was trying to put us down but could no longer secure the advantage.

“Now’s a good time!” declared Wyldstyle. “Chroma Keystone, activate! Chroma lock, reveal!” The Lock design appeared on the ground. “Chroma! Red! Range! Chroma! Yellow! RED Engineer! Chroma! Blue! BLU Soldier!” The people she directed jumped into their respective paint blobs.

“Great, a permanent ÜberCharge for those nitwits!” wailed the Joker as he fired on those of us that weren’t painted. Range went into the circle, the BLU Soldier went into the right L-shape, and the RED Engineer took the left L-shape. Range then moved to the BLU Soldier’s position, convinced the BLU Soldier to take the RED Engineer’s place, and the RED Engineer took Range’s place, causing the lock design to match the one on the Strongman machine. A door opened to reveal a Gateway!

“Pup-X5, see if you can program the Gateway to suck in only Merasmus, the Joker, and Talon!” I directed. Pup-X5 gave a thumbs up and hurried off to do so. Just then, the Engineers ran from the field! “HEY!” I shouted.

“Need to check the respawns!” called the RED Engineer. “Sombra may have hacked them!”

“Be back soon!” supplied the BLU Engineer.

“COME BACK!” I shouted. Too late. They vanished. “And I thought the Spies were sneaky rats!” I hissed. We had to try and keep the enemy off Pup-X5’s back as he programmed the Gateway. It took a while, but Pup-X5 gave us the thumbs up. “Throw it!” I called.

“No, you don’t!” shouted the Joker as he shot the Gateway. Pup-X5’s optics went wide.

“The suction won’t be as strong unless they’re in the air!” read his tablet as the Gateway activated.

“How are we gonna get them into the air?!” I protested.

“Maybe I can help!” called the voice of an Engineer.

Categories
Kamen Rider Vortex Kamen Rider Vortex Movie Chapters

Chapter 3

The Gateway opened to reveal Scorpainia stepping through. She had Turretorg, Technarain, Discornia, and Sludgiona with her. “I see you’ve had this place redecorated since I was here last,” observed Scorpainia.

“Looks a little…bright,” muttered Batman.

“Yeah, we needed to make it brighter,” I replied. “A few of us would rather NOT stumble with only blue lighting in a dark place. Some plant life also benefitted us. The oxygen generators were pretty taxed during the Vortech Wars.”

“And with the new lighting,” helped Lukas, “came a source of vitamin C, essential for us humans.” At that moment, the lights went off. “…Apparently, we need a better power source,” muttered Lukas.

“No, dudes,” called a surfer dude’s voice. “Just rerouting power!” The lights came back on as an R9 Astromech wheeled himself in. “Had a gnarly idea,” continued the Astromech, “that we could route some power from the sensors to the GUUUUNNS!”

“New guys, this is R9-D7, the only Astromech I know of that can speak Basic,” I introduced. “R9, these are the new guys.”

“I think the new guys are already familiar with the most RADICAL Astromech in the multiverse!” boasted R9.

“Remind me of his backstory again?” asked Liam.

“After the Vortech Wars,” I explained, “Vader left him behind. He was stuck on Vorton for a few weeks until X-PO found him. We fixed him up and installed vocal components so we don’t have to guess his beeping.”

“And it’s been awesome ever since!” cheered R9.

“R9,” called Emily, “quick question. How are the defenses going to shoot any invaders WITHOUT the sensors?”

“…Okay, so there ARE some holes in my idea,” conceded R9. “No need to be bugging or anything.”

“We’ll save modifications AFTER this adventure,” I suggested.

“Buzzkill,” muttered R9.

“All right, is everyone here for the briefing?” I asked.

“Wait, where’s Pup-X5?” asked Emmanuel.

“And Lexicon, for that matter,” supplied Sheela.

“We’re here!” called a woman’s voice. A large, gunmetal grey can with an antenna on top came in with a humanoid dog robot walking it. The dog robot was about Snoopy’s height. He detached the leash from the can and petted Kit-10. “Sorry about the wait,” remarked the can, Lexicon, a mobile datastore. “Pup-X5 insisted on getting a bite to eat. How you lot managed to install a stomach that can process food like you do, I’ll never understand.” Pup-X5 rolled his eyes and folded his arms.

“Well, you got here anyways,” I dismissed, “so thank you for coming. Now that we’re all here, X-PO, you may begin.”

“Thank you,” bid X-PO. He started up a PowerPoint with the Gateway. “As many of you know,” he began, “five Tarlaxian Jabarda class scout ships were deployed to scout for potential universes in case the Omega Protocols needed to be deployed again.”

“A future Tarlax 15?” quizzed Wyldstyle.

“Indeed,” confirmed Scorpainia. “I would have called you lot a little later, but SOMEONE decided to force the issue!” She glared at X-PO.

“We’ll turn him into a coffee maker later,” I joked.

“Thanks,” snarked X-PO. “Anyway, in the most recent logs, I discovered that they were going near five universes containing the Sources.”

“What IS a Source?” I asked.

“In this instance,” interjected Famine as she paused her snacking, “it’s the source of an aspect the five of us Horsemen represent. Each looks like a crystal ball, about the size of a human’s head, in our colors. Mine’s yellow, Pestilence’s green, Death’s blue, War’s orange, and Lacey inherited the purple one of Chaos.”

“Chaos?” I muttered.

“An apocalypse IS rather chaotic,” replied Lacey. “Besides, chaos is common when life exists.”

“Fair point,” I conceded.

“Does that mean we should call Lacey ‘Chaos’ instead?” asked Richard.

“Please, no!” groaned Lacey.

“Focus, please!” snapped X-PO.

“The Source Universes?” muttered Scorpainia. “What were they doing near there? They’re WAY too close to Foundation Prime. Besides, we’ve long established that they were inhabited.”

“We always look for universes with no life aside from plants on ANY of that universe’s planets,” supplied Sludgiona.

“What are the universes’ identifier strings?” I quizzed.

“5-P-L-4-T-0-0-N, D-1-5-N-3-Y, 5-U-P-3-R-M-4-R-1-0, T-3-4-M-F-0-R-T-R-3-5-5-2, and 5-4-1-L-0-R-M-0-0-N,” replied Discornia.

“So, Splatoon, Disney, Super Mario, Team Fortress 2, and Sailor Moon,” I guessed.

“Bingo,” answered Death. “Splatoon hold my Source because they’ve invented a way to circumvent death in a weapon-using sport, Disney holds War’s as it’s very peaceful, given the chaos it usually brings, Super Mario has a cure for all, so it hides Pestilence’s Source, Team Fortress 2’s inhabitants don’t get hungry, so Famine could hide her Source there, and Sailor Moon brings order, so Lacey’s Source is safe.”

“So, the opposite aspects of your sources hides them,” I theorized.

“Exactly,” grunted War.

“But, as her Majesty asked, what were those ships doing there?” quizzed Technarain. “Their courses shouldn’t have taken them anywhere NEAR those universes.” Turretorg shuffled his feet. It’s not a quiet shuffle, given what his feet are made of.

“Turretorg,” hissed Scorpainia, “is there something you want to share with us?” No response. “Turretorg,” growled Scorpainia.

“I…I’m not at liberty to say,” stammered Turretorg.

“Not even to me?” snarled Scorpainia.

“…Sorry, but not even to you,” sighed Turretorg.

“That leaves us at liberty to speculate,” remarked Liam. He turned to Scorpainia. “You said they were near Foundation Prime, right?”

“They are,” confirmed Scorpainia. “As to why, I’ll let Death explain.”

“The Sources constantly project a barrier around Foundation Prime so no one, not even the Horsemen, could get to it,” explained Death. “However, if you’re clever enough you could find a chink in that barrier and get into Foundation Prime.”

“Vortech used me to that end,” remarked X-PO. “That’s how I got you guys into it.”

“So, when Vortech was beaten,” continued Death, “we reforged the barrier and shored up any flaws we could find. As such, using all five sources on the barrier will cause it to crumble and people could freely enter and exit Foundation Prime, restoring that square Vortech used to control the multiverse and bending it to their whims.”

“And, given the power we witnessed,” I guessed, “you didn’t WANT people to freely enter and exit that universe.”

“Exactly,” confirmed Death. “With all that in mind, those universes would make rather good defensive positions.”

“Hoping to control those universes?” Scorpainia asked Turretorg.

“Your Majesty,” sighed Turretorg, “I hope you’re not naïve enough to believe the Tarlaxian Senate DIDN’T want to use those universes.”

“No,” replied Scorpainia, “but I’m a little ticked that neither you nor the Senate brought the concern to my attention!”

“And?” quizzed Turretorg.

“And, if you didn’t tell her or your wife THAT,” hissed Moon-kyung as she nodded towards Discornia, “it makes us rather worried what ELSE you kept from her, or US, for that matter.”

“There wasn’t anything else to tell!” snarled Turretorg. “Their mission was to scout out potential universes in case the Omega Protocols were needed again. Yes, it WAS possible that they would pass by those universes. So, the Senate made it a secret parameter of said mission that, should they not find a threat to the Sources, they would gather data and intelligence relating to a defensive position to surround Foundation Prime. That is all!”

“It seems like a restructuring of the Senate is in order!” snarled Scorpainia. “I’d rather know about their concerns!”

“Well, from what I’ve picked up from a stray transmission,” interjected X-PO, “the crews of those ships weren’t too happy about that secret parameter either. Here’s something I picked up from the ship near 5-U-P-3-R-M-4-R-1-0.” He played a video of an apartment with three Tarlaxians in it.

“Wait, I thought you said that it’s from a scout ship,” recalled Richard. “That looks like Linkara’s old apartment.”

“With the stuff he had, too,” muttered Livia.

“My doing,” answered Technarain. “I heard about nerds in that universe turning a house into a spaceship, so I wanted to get a good look at any potential bridge designs. Linkara’s old apartment seemed like a more functional choice. He seemed okay with it.”

“If we could continue?!” grunted War.

“Thank you,” bid X-PO. He started the video. A two-headed, six-armed woman in a glossy, black exoskeleton, a spider’s rear end above her butt, eight eyes in a ring on each head with the two largest ones in the center, and claws on her fingers was at a workstation. The annotations identified her as Spidarachnimpa. A woman with a skirt that looked like a snail’s foot sat on Spidarachnimpa’s left. She had a snail’s antennae in place of her eyes, a snail’s shell, and secreted slime all over her body. It didn’t seem to affect her workstation. An annotation called her Escargripam. In the kitchen was a Tarlaxian man with a humanoid body shape, a skirt of eight octopus tentacles, a ring of eight tentacles around his shoulders, and the head of an octopus with a beak where a human’s mouth should be. He was called Octorpindar. Spidarachnimpa’s left head spoke into a communicator.

“This is the scout ship, Tranzek,” she called. “We have just entered Mushroom World territory and are ready to carry out our assignment. All lights are orange. No sign of any problems. We look forward to hearing from you in an hour. Tranzek out.” She switched the comms off.

“I still can’t believe it!” griped Octorpindar. “I mean, a year of planning this venture, three months to get to the universe we’re supposed to be at, then, just a few days before we get there, Tarlax calls saying, ‘Hey! Can you deviate from your flight plan by about 2 more months and check out a universe near Foundation Prime that holds Pestilence’s Source?’ I mean…!”

“Steady on, Octorpindar,” interjected Spidarachnimpa’s right head.

“We knew this was a possibility,” continued her left head.

“Yeah, but,” grumbled Octorpindar, “they didn’t need to wait until practically the last minute to tell us! I mean if we manage to encounter Vortech’s prison…!”

“We won’t!” countered Spidarachnimpa’s left head. “We’ll be moving in parallel to the loop pattern and matching the velocity of the rift loop.”

“Plus we have automatic sealants,” continued her right head, “to take care of any pinpricks in this baby’s hull should any debris be caught in the rift loop’s orbit and flung at us.”

“I wish I shared your confidence,” remarked Octorpindar as he grabbed a sandwich from the fridge.

“Don’t worry about it, dude,” remarked Escargripam. “We’re not gonna find anything. I mean, the Doctor…”

“The Doctor!” interrupted Octorpindar. “There’s a Gallifreyan that is THAT arrogant to think they can heal their…!”

“The Doctor had practically tied Vortech’s prison into a pretty little bow!” continued Escargripam. “He’s stuck!”

“If he manages to wiggle out…!” protested Octorpindar.

“I think somebody’s a little cranky this morning,” remarked Spidarachnimpa’s left head as both turned to him.

“Somebody needs to sit in the comfy chair,” continued the right head. She tapped the unoccupied console as Octorpindar rolled his eyes. He entered the living room and sat down at the console. He looked around the apartment-bridge and sighed.

“This will never NOT be weird,” he muttered.

“We’ve been doing this for practically all our lives,” groaned Escargripam, “and you choose NOW to complain?!”

“We’re sitting in an apartment that once belonged to some nerd!” complained Octorpindar.

“We are sitting,” both of Spidarachnimpa’s heads snarled in unison, “on the bridge of the most advanced scout ship and we’re ready to make history! Now, I don’t care if it happens in a toilet stall or a nerd’s basement dwelling, as long as it gets us there and gets us home! So, put on your grown-up explorer boots and give me a read-out on engine consumption!”

“Sorry, sorry,” sighed Octorpindar as he checked his station. “Engine consumption’s nominal. Look, I’m just saying the multiverse can get crazy and weird.”

“Better weird than boring,” remarked Escargripam. She checked her station’s readings. “We’re approaching the Source Universe. Should be smooth sailing.”

“Belay that thought,” interjected Spidarachnimpa’s left head.

“Why?” quizzed Escargripam.

“I’m detecting a power signature out there,” reported Spidarachnimpa’s right head. They all looked at the reading on her console.

“How can anything have power this far out?” muttered Escargripam.

“Well, let’s find out,” replied Spidarachnimpa’s right head. “It’s about 170 cm in length, 89 cm in width, and…and coming at us in an attack vector!!” At this point, both heads were speaking in unison. “Hard about! Raise the…!” The ship lurched and tossed the Tarlaxian crew over their consoles. An explosion made the video end in static. We stood there in silence.

“…Are they…?” gulped Emmanuel.

“We’re STILL getting bio-signs,” replied Technarain, “so I don’t think so.”

“Now we REALLY need to rescue them,” I declared. “I had already decided to split us up into teams according to After Academy house, but I think a Keystone Bearer on each team would help.”

“And a Tarlaxian on each team,” interjected Scorpainia.

“And a robot,” called Kit-10.

“All right, then let’s get organized,” I affirmed. The teams went like so: Death, Haitao, Livia, Sheela, Colleen, Sophie, X-PO, Turretorg, and myself would go to 5-P-L-4-T-0-0-N to check on her Source, War, Gandalf, Michael, Hiroki, Irina, Alesandro, Charline, Kit-10, and Discornia would go to D-1-5-N-3-Y to check that Source’s status, Pestilence, Hongo, Emily, Mikhail, Tanisha, Liam, Amelia, R9-D7, and Scorpainia would use the Virginia to go to 5-U-P-3-R-M-4-R-1-0 and use its sensors to check that Source out, Famine, Wyldstyle, Richard, Emmanuel, Xiomara, Victor, Brenden, Pup-X5, and Technarain will confirm the Source’s condition in T-3-4-M-F-0-R-T-R-3-5-5-2, and Lacey, Batman, Joshua, Lukas, Tonje, Moon-kyung, Flora, Lexicon, and Sludgiona would check out 5-4-1-L-0-R-M-0-0-N for her Source. “Are the team assignments clear?” I asked. Everyone replied yes. “Then let’s hit the hay for now,” I declared. “It’s late at night and I don’t want anyone fighting their own fatigue on top of fighting whoever’s behind this.”

“Sleep sounds heavenly right now,” muttered Moon-kyung. We all retired to our rooms and hit the sack.

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Kamen Rider Vortex Kamen Rider Vortex Movie Chapters

Chapter 12

My team ended up near a desert. There WAS civilization but I had a humanoid robot dog and a monstrous looking person with a scalp looking like an exposed brain with me, revealing ourselves would only cause a panic. Given the collective mental capacity of the town (Teufort), if I remember the comics correctly, a panic could only lead to disaster…and our being hanged. “Okay, guys, we stick to the outskirts,” I warned. “There’s a facility near here that keeps putting lead in the water supply. As such, the townsfolk aren’t too bright and are led by an idiot mayor. Pup-X5, I trust you have water filters?” Pup-X5 gave a thumbs up and held up a tablet. Since he couldn’t speak, his tablet communicated what he wanted us to know.

“Given the nature of this universe,” read Pup-X5’s tablet, “I figured a full emergency kit for everyone would do.”

“Good dog,” I praised. Pup-X5 wagged his tail at the compliment. Famine mumbled something.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full!” groaned Victor. Famine swallowed.

“I said, this is a town, right?” asked Famine.

“Yes,” I replied, a little confused.

“Meaning, it should have people, right?” continued Famine.

“Again, yes,” I confirmed.

“So, where ARE the people?” asked Famine. Our eyes went wide as we looked into Teufort. Sure enough, there were no people!

“Pup-X5! Technarain! Bio-readings!” I ordered. The two sent a probe into the air and scanned the area. After a few seconds, the probe announced the results.

“Bio-readings: negative,” it reported.

“Okay, change of plan! We’re going in!” I declared. We entered Teufort and started looking. The search took an hour until Emmanuel screamed in fear. The scream came from the town hall, so we headed in that direction. “Emmanuel! What happened?!” I barked.

“The enemy beat us to this universe!” he reported.

“How do you know?” asked Xiomara. Emmanuel revealed the body of the mayor of Teufort. His skin was chalk white, his lips were red, and he had a toothy grin on his face. Pup-X5 checked for life signs. His head and tail drooped, telling me what the man died of.

“Smylex!” I hissed. “The Joker’s here!” Said clown’s laugh then played throughout the building.

“So, you figured out who’s here!” he cheered. “Excellent! Since this recording didn’t pick up Bratman’s usual edge-lord rasp, I assume he’s not here! Pity, but it makes it all more fun to see a lesser man than him try and defeat me!”

“A recording?” muttered Emmanuel.

“Don’t bother looking for me here!” taunted the Joker. “I’m already somewhere else! All I can say is there’s a barn and a concrete building separated by a bridge! Might want to hurry if you want to save the mercenaries!” The Joker laughed as we heard a beeping. It didn’t take long for us to guess what that beeping was.

“RUN!” I shouted. We ran out of the building and out of the town before we heard the explosion. “Everyone all right?!” I called.

“We’re fine,” assured Brenden. “The Joker mentioned two buildings, right?”

“He has to be talking about 2Fort,” I replied.

“Then should we be there, like, YESTERDAY?!” remarked Wyldstyle.

“Steeds! Now!” We summoned our horses, converted them to bike mode, and took off.

We soon arrived at an area with two buildings called 2Fort, the first map of Team Fortress 2 and the mercenaries of both Reliable Excavation Demolition (RED) and Builders League United (BLU) were holed up in the BLU base. The Joker’s goons were sieging the BLU base from the RED base, neither allowing the REDs to return to their base nor letting the BLUs gain any intelligence. “Looks like we’re gonna do like the Spies are trying to do,” I declare as we witnessed both RED and BLU Spies being shot. “We’ll sneak in from the back and try and take out the goons so the teams can reclaim the base.”

“And HOW, pray tell, will we do that?” asked Emmanuel.

“The old fashioned way,” I replied. I held up my Vortex Driver. The others got the idea and got out their belts.

“Vortex Driver!”

“Chronicle Driver!” After those voices, we took out our i.d tags and Armor Auto-bio.

“Henshin!” we called.

“Open! Turn! Imagine!” announced Victor’s belt. “The Rifle of Range!” Victor’s Rider persona, Range, evoked a Canadian Mountie. Unfortunately, one of the goons heard the belts and spotted us.

“HEY! DOWN THERE!” he shouted. His buddies looked in the direction he was pointing at and fired on US! We scattered and had to resort to taking cover.

“You know,” grumbled Arch, “we should have Sludgiona install a stealth mode into these things!”

“A discussion for when we get back!” I replied. We were pinned as the Joker’s men kept us behind cover. What we didn’t know was that both mercenary teams took advantage of that opening.

“Ready to charge!” called a German voice. That could only mean one of the Medics was ready with the ÜberCharge, the temporary invincibility mode for a teammate.

“I am fully charged!” reported another Medic.

“Is team-time, Doctor!” declared a Russian voice, a Heavy, I would say.

“Ready for that charge, Doc!” announced an American Drill Sergeant’s voice. Just then, a Heavy and Medic team glowing red charged across the bridge and mowed down the goons at the entrances while a Soldier and Medic team glowing blue took care of the goons on top. The rest of the mercenaries followed the two teams and swarmed the RED base. We ran in and assisted.

“Now is coward-killing time!” cheered the RED Heavy as he mowed down his enemies. We all managed to get downstairs into the RED team’s intel room and found more goons. They raised their weapons at us but didn’t check for the Scouts. Both of them grabbed a purple and a green briefcase and made a mad dash for the BLU base.

“STOP THEM!” called a goon. Not a chance. We mowed down the lot of them. We then heard stomping up above.

“…They’re using OUR respawn?!” roared the RED soldier.

“CHARGE!” shouted the BLU soldier. We all headed topside to see the goons on the battlements shooting at the Scouts while other goons charged across the bridge after them. We kept fighting the ones on the battlements until…their weapons disappeared!

“Victory!” called the Administrator’s voice. We all mowed down the goons as they tried to run from us.

“Well, I reckon that’s that,” sighed the BLU Engineer as he activated a metal lounge chair and strummed his guitar.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” I replied as us Riders powered down.

“Son, you seem to know those maggots,” remarked the RED Soldier, guessing I was the one in charge. “Who are you?”

“I’m Richard Saunders,” I introduced, “better known as Kamen Rider Guard. This is Wyldstyle.

“Hey!” called Wyldstyle.

“Emmanuel Babineaux, Kamen Rider Arch,” I continued.

“Bonjour,” greeted Emmanuel.

“Xiomara Elizondo, Kamen Rider Seeker,” I went on.

“¡Hola!” cheered Xiomara.

“One of the new guys, Victor Young, Kamen Rider Range,” I introduced.

“Hello!” greeted Victor.

“Famine of the now FIVE Horsemen,” I went on.

“Hello!” she mumbled while eating a sandvich (the spelling IS on purpose).

“Brenden Patterson, Kamen Rider Herald Y,” I continued.

“Hello!” he greeted.

“Pup-X5,” I went on. The robot just waved, earning a glare from the Mercenaries. “He’s not of Gray Mann’s design, I promise!” I yelped. “Anyway, last but not least, Technarain.”

“Greetings,” he bid.

“Those maggots, as the RED Soldier described them, worked for a clown, and I mean that in the literal sense, called the Joker,” I explained. “He’s, to put it mildly, insane.”

“How insane are we talking?” asked the BLU Scout. “Like, Medic level? Gray Mann level? Cause it don’t matter! I’ll beat that dummy’s face in! You see these guns?” He flexed his wimpy muscles. “Yeah, they’re beautiful, ain’t they? And these?” he lifted his shirt to display his lack of pecs. “Yeah! You’ll be grinding meat on ‘em! I’ll be running circles around…!”

“Don’t you ever shut up?!” barked the RED Sniper. “You’re as bad as OUR Scout!”

“Hey! At least I actually have something!” protested the RED Scout. The RED Pyro then mumbled something. “Okay, repeat after me!” snapped the RED Scout. “Mmm mm mmm I’m dead!”

“He said you can’t pull your weight, you walking matchstick,” I translated.

“…You…understand Pyrospeak?” asked the RED Soldier.

“Yep,” I replied. “We all can. A multiversal translator in our belts.”

“Mmmph mmphmmph,” (Thank goodness.) sighed the BLU Pyro. “Mph mmph mh mmph mph mph mmph mph mpmphmmph mph mpmphmmmph mh.” (It’s nice to know it’s not just our Engineers that understand us.)

“Anytime,” I assured. “Now, the Joker is here on behalf of his organization called Shocker Rift, a terrorist organization that’s after something that belongs to Famine. He’ll most likely be trying to stir up chaos with someone skilled in that. Given that he sent his goons after you, I don’t think you Mercenaries are on his list.”

“I don’t know if I should feel relieved or insulted!” protested the BLU Medic.

“There ARE Gray Mann’s robots,” mused the BLU Sniper.

“And Merasmus,” interjected the RED Demoman.

“Come on, Merasmus always lays low when it ain’t October,” argued the RED Engineer.

“Besides, he’s still enjoying his house-warming gift,” supplied the RED Soldier.

“…House-warming gift?” asked the RED Spy, a little suspicious.

“Yes, house-warming gift!” confirmed the RED Soldier.

“What house-warming gift?” asked the BLU Engineer.

“Soldier,” hissed the RED Sniper, “I swear to God if you did something to anger him…!”

“All I did was give him a grenade!” protested the RED Soldier.

“Knowing you, hippie,” chuckled the BLU Soldier, “it was a dud. Your hair must have gotten in your eyes if you gave him a dud!”

“Do you really believe I’d do something so dumb as give Merasmus a non-functional grenade, Private?!” shouted the RED Soldier. “I pulled the pin to prove it worked! Merasmus can confirm what I’m saying is the truth since I showed him in his house!”

“YOU BLEW UP MERASMUS’ HOUSE?!” wailed Victor.

“YOU BLEEDING IDIOT!” shouted the RED Demoman.

“I’m going to saw through your bones!” threatened the BLU Medic.

“Gentlemen, please!” I called. Everyone stopped yelling at the RED Soldier. “Okay, it’s more than likely that Merasmus joined the Joker to get revenge on the RED Soldier for blowing up his house. That means the Joker and Merasmus will be based at one of the Halloween maps. Someone get me a list of said maps!” The RED Spy pulled out a list and handed it to me. “Thank you,” I bid. I then read off the maps. “All right, we got Cauldron, Cursed Cove, Gravestone, Monster Bash, Slasher, Harvest Event, Mann Manor, Eyeaduct, Ghost Fort, Ghost Town, Helltower, Carnival of Carnage, Gorge Event, Hellstone, Moonshine Event, Sinshine, Brimstone, Maple Ridge Event, and Pit of Death. That’s a lot.”

“Merasmus will want a map that he hangs out at,” guessed the BLU Demoman.

“All right, that narrows it down to Ghost Fort, Carnival of Carnage, Brimstone, Gravestone, and Slasher,” I replied as I crossed of the other maps.

“Why not start with Carnival of Carnage?” suggested Emmanuel.

“Mph MMMMPH mh mmmph mmph Mphmpmph mh Mphmmph?” (Why SHOULD we start with Carnival of Carnage?) asked the RED Pyro.

“If Merasmus teamed up with the Joker, then, knowing the Joker, he’ll want a base that resembles a theme park,” explained Emmanuel. “For all his boasting of being an agent of chaos, the Joker IS predictable.”

“That’ll get under his skin if you say that,” I replied. “Seems as good a place to start as any. Let’s rest up and head there. We’ll foil Merasmus and the Joker’s plans and things can get back to normal…whatever passes for normal in this universe.” Just then, Pup-X5’s eyes flashed green. He wagged his tail. “What’s going on?” I asked.

“I left a probe to investigate the town,” read Pup-X5’s tablet. “Hopefully, it discovered something useful. Data’s coming in!” As he read the data, his tail slowly stopped wagging, then it drooped as did his head.

“What’s wrong, boy?” I asked.

“The probe found the Tarlaxian scout ship with the crew displaying the effects of Smylex,” explained Pup-X5’s tablet. “They’re…they’re dead.”

“…Damn!” swore Technarain.

“The probe’s working on decoding the black box right now,” reported Pup-X5, “but initial reports are telling me that the Source was on board as well.”

“Then he got us,” I grumbled.

“The Joker?” asked Victor.

“Who else?!” I snapped. “The Joker attacked the ship after it picked up the Source and killed the crew! Now Shocker Rift has one and has a potential bargaining chip! We gotta…!” Pup-X5 tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to his tablet.

“The Joker doesn’t have the Source,” it read.

“No, I’m positive he…!” I continued. The text on the tablet changed.

“Decryption complete,” it reported. “The Tarlaxians got the Source out of this universe.”

“…What?” I asked.

“The Tarlaxians sent it away to a safer location,” explained Pup-X5. “In fact, it looks like it went into the Tarlaxian Black Vaults.”

“The safest place within Tarlax,” I realized. “Shocker Rift can’t get to them.”

“Then you can go now,” directed the BLU Soldier.

“The Joker’s still here,” I argued. “He won’t leave until he makes a chaotic, bloody mess out of this world. We need to stay and help you…gentlemen get him OUT.”

“Considering your knowledge on this ‘Joker’ person,” mused the RED Spy, “we would be fools not to accept your help.”

“If that’s the case, y’all need to stay with us until tomorrow morning,” offered the BLU Engineer.

“What if the Joker’s men come back?” rumbled the BLU Heavy.

“That’s what a Sentry’s for,” assured the RED Engineer.

“Thank you for the offer,” I bid. “I think we’ll take you up on it. Pup-X5, Technarain, see if you can help the Engineers set up whatever builds they need.”

“On it,” replied Technarain as Pup-X5 saluted. They followed the two Engineers out of the Respawn.

“The rest of us will catch some rest while one of us guards the place,” I declared.

“I’ll take first watch,” offered the RED Sniper.

“Good,” I praised. “Warn us if you see anything. The rest of us, let’s get some shuteye. RED Sniper, I’ll take your place in an hour.” We all headed off to get some rest while the RED Sniper headed off after the Engineers, Technarain, and Pup-X5.