Here are Megumi and Richard embracing and enjoying a quiet moment together before the next fight against Hiro, Vortech, and the rest of Shocker Rift.
Tag: richard saunders
Kamen Rider Battle! For friends and family, I shall be victorious!
Kamen Rider Guard! None shall harm my friends, family, and lady!
“Ah, beshrew me, Lord Michael, you’re in good humor!’
“Don’t tell me to beshrew you or mention that I’m in ‘good humor’, Richard, you absurdly tall Hobbit! It’s just a tiny step from all of that to ‘Hey Nonny Nonny’, and then I’m calling the nearest psychiatric ward.”
Bio: (left)
Hailing from Upper Class London, Michael has been classically trained since birth. A student of Shakespeare, of Tudor history, and of the great English novelists, he has a few hobbies involving the comedies dealing with dry humor, his favorite being Blackadder, and a few sci-fi shows, Doctor Who being chief among them.
Bio: (right)
Richard Saunders is Emily’s brother, one who had his fair share of fat shaming and has helped Emily through a time of crisis. It was he who spearheaded Emily’s obsession with roses.
Bio: (together)
With Michael’s help of understanding court systems, he, Richard, Emily, Hiroki, and Megumi had formed the Feudal Nerd Society. Now, with Michael as Kamen Rider Battle and Richard as Kamen Rider Guard, these men protect the multiverse from Vortech’s sinister plans.
After we rested up, we got into various vehicles, pickup trucks, camper vans, motorcycles, what have you. We then departed for Merasmus’ Carnival of Carnage. I reflected on how Merasmus owed $12,000 to the Japanese Mafia when he was making it. Then my thoughts drifted to when he crossed the Russian Mafia. “When’s he gonna learn?” I mumbled.
“What did you mutter?” rumbled the BLU Heavy driving the truck I was in.
“The Joker’s a crime boss,” I explained so he could hear me. “This would make him the third crime boss Merasmus crossed paths with.”
“Wizard is not too bright,” replied the BLU Heavy. “Not even Scouts of both teams would make stupid mistake.”
“…Did anyone ever comment how much you and the RED Heavy look alike?” I remarked, changing the topic.
“We are same,” answered the BLU Heavy.
“…Huh?” I quizzed.
“Both teams are clones of same people,” explained the BLU Heavy. “Our minds are linked to our original selves.”
“You guys are clones?!” I yelped.
“Administrator believes none of us know but both me and RED Heavy, both Spies, both Snipers, both Medics, and both Engineers know,” continued the BLU Heavy.
“What would happen if the Administrator found out?” I quizzed.
“No chance,” answered the BLU Heavy. “Joker killed her before she could. Her clone was placed on lockdown until this whole thing blows over, according to Spies.”
“I thought she had a life-extending machine powered by Australium,” I remarked.
“It only worked on age, not bullets,” replied the BLU Heavy.
“So, why do you lot persist in continuing a feud long after the two founders, Redmond and Blutarch Mann, died?” I asked.
“Enough talk,” grunted the BLU Heavy. “We are here.” The Carnival WAS in sight, but the answer I got meant that the conversation was at an end. He was right. Time to plan our strategy. As we set up camp outside the Carnival, I motioned the Spies and Scouts over.
“This is probably not gonna be like y’all are familiar with,” I explained. “I need you to case the place.”
“A question,” interjected the RED Spy. “Why are we joining with the Scouts?” I then motioned them to come nearer so I could whisper why. They leaned in and I explained.
“Those idiots will, in all likelihood,” I whispered, “try to outdo each other and the Joker is NOT an enemy where you can afford to do so. I know this is asking you to do the Scouts’ job as well as your own, but I need someone to get the job done.”
“Je comprends,” (I understand) replied the BLU Spy.
“We shall depart immediately,” declared the RED Spy. The Scouts and Spies then headed off.
“Someone got a map of the place?” I asked.
“Here,” replied the RED Sniper. He handed over a map that indicated where the teams would usually spawn.
“Now, any class tokens?” I requested. Pup-X5 then handed over black, red, and blue versions of each TF2 class’s symbol. “Good dog,” I praised as I laid them out. “Okay, red and blue will represent you guys while black will represent the enemy forces. Now, we wait for the report.” It took a good hour, but the Scouts and Spies told us where the enemy was hiding within the Carnival. “Perfect,” I praised as I placed the black tokens where the enemies were. We then started making a plan of attack.
It was simple, the Heavies and Soldiers would clear a path to the center while the Scouts pick off any ground forces still remaining. The Snipers would take care of any airborne enemies while the Demomen would hide sticky bombs near the enemy spawn, effectively trapping them for the foreseeable future. Once a path was cleared, the Engineers would set up their sentries and dispensers around the center while the Soldiers and Heavies joined them with the Medics. The Pyros would set fire to any areas that would serve as cover for the enemy while the Spies infiltrated the center of their operations and download any information from their computers. The rest of us would assist the Scouts and Snipers in picking off the enemy forces that manage to get past the Demomen’s sticky bombs. Us Riders had already changed into our Rider personas. We entered the battlefield with the Soldiers announcing our presence. “Last one alive, lock the door!” shouted the BLU Soldier.
“ATTACK!” shouted the RED soldier. We charged forward, our bloodlust at its peak…only to find no one. “…What?” asked the RED Soldier.
“Something is different!” remarked the BLU Heavy.
“Scouts!” I growled.
“There WERE people here!” protested the BLU Scout.
“I can confirm this,” supplied the RED Spy.
“Where in Sam Hill are they, then?!” asked the RED Engineer.
“Something isn’t right,” muttered Arch.
“Not right is putting it mildly,” shuddered Seeker. We took up our positions on a heightened state of alert. Seeker was near me as we scanned the area. This lasted for a good hour.
“This is ridiculous,” I whispered. “I’m starting to seize up from being in a constant state of tension.”
“I’m going through the same thing,” replied Seeker. “Where are they?”
“¿Qué tal?” (What’s up?) asked a voice. Given that it was Spanish and feminine, I looked at Seeker.
“Que no era yo,” she gulped.
“What do you mean that wasn’t you?!” I hissed.
“Exactly what it sounds like!” replied Seeker.
“¡Apagando las luces!” (Turning off the lights!) announced the voice. Just then, a horrible idea struck me.
“…It can’t be…” I breathed.
“SENTRY DOWN!” called one of the Engineers before eliciting a dying noise. We headed to the Engineers to see a woman appearing in purple light. She had half her head shaved to reveal some cybernetic circuits leading to her spine. Her main color scheme was purple. She had conjured up a holographic keyboard and typed in a few commands before spotting us, then miming a kiss before dismissing the keyboard.
“Sombra!” I breathed.
“Aw, you DO know me!” cooed the woman.
“But, how did you get to this universe?!” I protested.
“A little help from Shocker Rift,” replied Sombra. “By the way, you’re making the assumption that I came alone, amigo.” I then realized what was happening.
“GUYS! TALON’S IN THIS UNIVERSE!” I warned.
“Just once, keep that mouth of yours shut!” rasped a voice. Black smoke then came out of the center of the map and formed itself into a man dressed in a cowl with a skull like mask on his face. This was Overwatch’s Reaper, a member of the terrorist organization, Talon, the same one Sombra belonged to. He leveled two large shotguns at us and fired, causing us to scatter. The Joker’s laugh then rang throughout the map.
“Roll up! Roll up! Come see the crossover that should never exist!” he cheered. “A debate that’s just as emotion-inducing as Star Wars vs. Star Trek! The Joker presents to you Team Fortress 2 vs. Overwatch!” The rest of Talon then arrived, the leader; Doomfist, the Sniper; Widowmaker, the geneticist; Moira, and the astrophysicist; Sigma.
“TAKE COVER!” I shouted. “MAKE THEM LOSE!”
“Try us,” taunted Doomfist as we took cover. Unfortunately, Talon’s presence caused us to scatter. Widowmaker was sending us to the respawn rooms at too quick a rate by swooping through the air with her grappling hook and firing her gun in automatic mode, Doomfist’s signature gauntlet caused insane amounts of damage, Reaper just couldn’t stay down, Moira healed her allies and caused all sorts of havoc on us with her Biotic Orb of Discord, Sombra hacked anything mechanical on us, and Sigma kept slowing us down by altering our personal gravity fields. I respawned in the BLU spawn, as did the BLU Medic and Wyldstyle.
“We’re not winning this one, are we?” muttered Wyldstyle.
“Not yet,” I replied. “Isn’t there ANYTHING that can help us?” The BLU Scout then appeared.
“STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!” he protested.
“Take it easy!” I directed.
“This is unacceptable!” the BLU Medic snapped. “We’re getting killed left, right, and center! I can’t stay alive long enough to get the ÜberCharge ready! Neither can my RED colleague!”
“We’ll have to try again,” I remarked. “The mission’s still a go!” We departed the respawn and tried to take up positions that Talon couldn’t reach. A mistake, as we separated from each other, leaving a certain hacker to pull me aside.
“Well, well, well,” purred Sombra, “a little man all on his own.” I raised my gun. “¡Relájate! No hay por qué preocuparse.” (Calm down! There’s nothing to worry about.)
“No te creo,” (I don’t believe you.) I hissed.
“Oh, you DO know Spanish,” grumbled Sombra.
“My dad’s former superior has family in Mexico City,” I explained. “I took every available opportunity to learn Spanish from him, originally to wind up my grandfather.”
“Well, I suppose I can’t fault one for winding up a racist asshole,” she sighed.
“Let me say, you aren’t exactly doing my dad’s former superior any favors or helping him dispel any stereotypes,” I hissed.
“Are you sure you want to talk to me that way, kiddo?” chuckled Sombra. “Especially since, after scouring the databases hidden in your belts, I found some juicy secrets you’d rather leave hidden from the new guys you picked up?”
“…Tell Victor anything,” I threatened, “and your head will be mounted above my fireplace!”
“You’re not in a position to make threats!” laughed Sombra.
“I’m warning you!” I continued. Sombra activated her keyboards and keyed in a command with the biggest smirk on her face. The results…weren’t what either of us expected. O Canada played as a hologram of the Canadian Flag flapped.
“¿Qué?” (What?) squawked Sombra. A hand grabbed her shoulder, turned her around, and its partner slugged her in the jaw! The figure was Range in armor evoking her!
“The EMP of Sombra,” explained Range. “Grants me armor and your abilities. While you were talking, I was hacking your spinal graft!”
“But…but I programmed my graft’s security measures!” protested Sombra. “How did…?!”
“You didn’t quadruple check to see if you left a backdoor open!” answered Range as he fired on Sombra. She threw a translocator beacon at a safe spot as she ran from us and teleported to the beacon before throwing it again and teleporting away. Widowmaker then shot us and made us respawn in the BLU room.
“Range, I owe you a…!” I gasped.
“I know the secret she was talking about,” replied Range coldly. “What everyone on the team owes me is an explanation.” With that, he left to rejoin the fight. I was left with figuring out how I was gonna explain it all to him. Wyldstyle’s appearance snapped me out of my thoughts, as did the grin on her face.
“There’s a Chroma Lock design on the giant Strongman machine!” she reported.
“Then that’s our goal!” I declared, temporarily pushing my future conversation with Range to the back of my mind. I relayed the order to find the Chroma Discs, explaining what they are to the Mercenaries, as we fought. The Joker, evidently, saw that we were organizing and decided to join the fray to keep us in a chaotic state. He fired on us as we kept up our defenses. Range had heard about the Chroma Lock and found it on the machine’s backside. It had an orange circle, a green left L-shape, and a purple right L-shape.
“Over here!” called Arch. He was on the left of the RED respawn room with the blue Chroma Disc. The Joker then caught sight of the disc!
“I remember that Keystone!” he snapped. “Hand it over!”
“Oh no, you don’t!” argued Wyldstyle as she used a few bits of the Strongman machine to make a bazooka. “That’s mine!” She fired, knocking the Joker off his feet.
“Ah, so it’s magic we’re using!” giggled the Joker. “Oh, wizard!”
“Cower, fools!” cackled a voice as a man flew around us with a skull on his head and a staff in his hand. “Merasmus is here!”
“Merasmus! I am going to pull a rabbit out of your ass!” snarled the BLU Soldier.
“You are ten pounds of ghost crap in a five pound dress!” supplied the RED Soldier.
“Stop talking and start shooting!” I shouted. As I ordered that, Pup-X5 found the yellow Chroma Disc near the platform of the Strongman machine. Merasmus fired various spells and kept us running.
“Fellas!” called the RED Engineer as he found the red Chroma Disc near the wooden Merasmus head looking out at the map in a fortune teller machine.
“ENOUGH!” declared Merasmus. “By the power of the Bombinomicon!” He pulled out an eldritch book with a bomb fuse on the front.
“Everyone down!” warned the RED Soldier. “He’s got a book!”
“All right, stand back!” called the voice of the Bombinomicon. “Have some bombs, guys!” The book spat out large bombs at us, all of us, even Talon and the Joker.
“WATCH YOUR AIM!” roared Reaper as a bomb exploded near him.
“Oh, this is so wonderful!” laughed the Joker.
“Why did I join your ilk?” muttered Doomfist. Just then, the Wheel of Fate appeared!
“The Wheel!” announced Merasmus as it spun. “Come on… Set them all on fire.” The Wheel then chose our fate! “You are GODS!” The ÜberCharge Fate! Yes! “Aha,” gulped Merasmus, “that may SEEM good, but it WILL be bad. In the fullness of time.”
“IDIOT!” roared Doomfist as we took advantage of the effects of the mass ÜberCharge. Talon was trying to put us down but could no longer secure the advantage.
“Now’s a good time!” declared Wyldstyle. “Chroma Keystone, activate! Chroma lock, reveal!” The Lock design appeared on the ground. “Chroma! Red! Range! Chroma! Yellow! RED Engineer! Chroma! Blue! BLU Soldier!” The people she directed jumped into their respective paint blobs.
“Great, a permanent ÜberCharge for those nitwits!” wailed the Joker as he fired on those of us that weren’t painted. Range went into the circle, the BLU Soldier went into the right L-shape, and the RED Engineer took the left L-shape. Range then moved to the BLU Soldier’s position, convinced the BLU Soldier to take the RED Engineer’s place, and the RED Engineer took Range’s place, causing the lock design to match the one on the Strongman machine. A door opened to reveal a Gateway!
“Pup-X5, see if you can program the Gateway to suck in only Merasmus, the Joker, and Talon!” I directed. Pup-X5 gave a thumbs up and hurried off to do so. Just then, the Engineers ran from the field! “HEY!” I shouted.
“Need to check the respawns!” called the RED Engineer. “Sombra may have hacked them!”
“Be back soon!” supplied the BLU Engineer.
“COME BACK!” I shouted. Too late. They vanished. “And I thought the Spies were sneaky rats!” I hissed. We had to try and keep the enemy off Pup-X5’s back as he programmed the Gateway. It took a while, but Pup-X5 gave us the thumbs up. “Throw it!” I called.
“No, you don’t!” shouted the Joker as he shot the Gateway. Pup-X5’s optics went wide.
“The suction won’t be as strong unless they’re in the air!” read his tablet as the Gateway activated.
“How are we gonna get them into the air?!” I protested.
“Maybe I can help!” called the voice of an Engineer.
The pair of them returned with another Kamen Rider wearing a Chronicle Driver.
“Who’s the new guy?!” I asked. The Engineers pulled me aside.
“Do you know how we keep coming back?” asked the BLU Engineer.
“The BLU Heavy told me you guys are clones,” I answered. “Wait, did you guys make a third Engineer?”
“One that needs the belt more than we do,” replied the RED Engineer. “It works for both of us, but neither of us want to abandon our team.”
“So, we made him so he can travel the multiverse while we help out our teams,” continued the BLU Engineer. “He’s taken to going by our real name, Dell Conagher.”
“He want to help you out against the Joker’s boss,” finished the RED Engineer, “if you’ll have him.” I thought for a few seconds, then decided.
“Engineers, I would gladly have him,” I answered. I relayed where the new Rider came from and we took up positions to kick the enemy into the air.
“What makes you think you can stop us?!” laughed the Joker.
“We have our ways,” I replied, “blending order and chaos seems to work.”
“Order and chaos CAN’T be blended!” argued the Joker.
“That’s why you constantly get sent back to Arkham,” I countered. “They ain’t mutually exclusive! Doomfist can attest to that!”
“He IS correct,” remarked Doomfist. “Only through chaos can order flourish. Or, as I prefer to say it, only through conflict do we evolve.”
“You, zip it!” snapped the Joker.
“In any case, it’s about to get real chaotic for you,” I chuckled, “since you’re right where we want you! Kamen Rider Guard! None shall harm my friends, family, and lady!”
“Kamen Rider Arch! My skills outdo Robin Hood!”
“Kamen Rider Seeker! It’s not gold I seek, but your end!”
“Kamen Rider Herald Y! I bring news of your defeat!”
“Kamen Rider Famine! I shall starve you of victory!”
“Kamen Rider Range! I’ve got you right where I want you!”
“I’m Wyldstyle! Time to think outside the box!”
“I am Technarain, the genius wanderer!”
“I am Pup-X5!” called a prerecorded message that X-PO made for Pup-X5. “I shall dig up success!”
“Kamen Rider Construct!” called the Engineers’ third clone. “Let’s do this Texas style!”
“You’re gonna do it DEAD style soon!” laughed the Joker. “GET THEM!” They leapt into the air to attack us.
“NOW!” I called. We spun the wheels and pressed the buttons.
“Final attack!” announced the Vortex Drivers.
“Final Pen Stroke!” supplied the Chronicle Drivers.
“RIDER GUARD KICK!”
“RIDER ARCH KICK!”
“RIDER SEEKER KICK!”
“RIDER HERALD Y KICK!”
“RIDER FAMINE KICK!”
“RIDER RANGE KICK!”
“RIDER CONSTRUCT KICK!” Our kicks landed on our opponents and pushed them towards the portal!
“NOOOO!” screamed Merasmus as the enemy was sucked in. “SOLDIER! YOU WERE THE WOOORST ROOOOMMAAAATE!” The portal disappeared once everyone was sucked in.
“Victory!” called the Overwatch announcer.
“…That ain’t the Administrator,” mused the RED Engineer.
“Play of the Game,” continued the Overwatch announcer. The Gateway then projected a screen with Arch posing. The caption read “Emmanuel Babineaux as Kamen Rider Arch.”
“What?!” I protested. “Why are YOU getting Play of the Game?!” We soon got our answer. While he was fighting Reaper, he had separated his bow into his blades and leapt up into the air before inserting his i.d. tag into the one in his right hand.
“Final attack!” it announced.
“RIDER ARCH SLAM!” he shouted. The impact caused Reaper to fly across the map.
“…Okay, you get Play of the Game,” I grumbled.
“Well, the moment has passed,” muttered the RED Spy.
“Agreed,” supplied the BLU Spy. “We have work to do over at Thunder Mountain.”
“Thunder Mountain?!” squawked the RED Soldier. “I don’t know how you knew that’s where we’re going, but you BLUs won’t take it from us!”
“We’ll be throwing our payload at your ass all day long!” snarled the BLU Soldier.
“I am going to strangle you with your own frilly training bra!” threatened the RED Soldier. He then chased the BLU Soldier out of the carnival with their compatriots following close behind, save for Construct. Once it was just us, we all powered down. The third Engineer clone, Dell as the original two called him, was wearing a purple Engineer’s outfit.
“Welcome to the team, Mr. Conagher,” I bid as I stuck my hand out for a handshake.
“Please, son, Mr. Conagher is my father’s name,” replied Dell as he shook my hand. “Just call me Dell.”
“Well then, welcome, Dell,” I greeted. We then finished and I turned to Pup-X5. “Get into contact with Vorton. Tell them the Tarlaxian crew gave their lives successfully getting the Source out of harm’s way. It should be in the Tarlaxian vaults. Tell them we’re on our way with a new member!”
“Belay that!” snapped Victor. “You lot still owe me an explanation as to why you decided it was a good idea to keep Megumi’s emotional collapse a secret!”
“…Pardon?” asked Dell. I sighed.
“During our first trip through the multiverse,” I explained, “we kept information about the enemy from our new allies, Wyldstyle included. When it was revealed that the one who gathered us MEANT for them to be with us, Megumi realized her mistake and had an emotional breakdown at her mistake. We kept it from our recent additions to the team because we didn’t want their views of us tainted. …But we still tainted them anyways.”
“Yeah, you did,” remarked Victor.
“Victor, I’m sorry,” I sighed. “The majority vote was that we wouldn’t tell you. We thought we were doing this for the greater good. …That was the first mistake, thinking we were doing this for ANY kind of good. I understand if you want to leave us.”
“I appreciate that, I really do,” muttered Victor. “Maybe…maybe we need a little more forgiveness here. A little more compassion than hatred. It’s just…why did you vote on this in the first place?”
“I raised the issue, saying that it would turn away any potential new members,” replied Emmanuel. “We debated and then voted.” Pup-X5 raised his hand, indicating he had something to say.
“Apparently,” read his tablet, “your arguments swayed Richard.”
“…No, they didn’t,” I replied. “I voted no.”
“…No, you didn’t,” argued Pup-X5.
“Yes, I did!” I insisted. “You can see that I voted no!”
“No, it says you voted yes!” replied Pup-X5. He displayed the results and they baffled me.
“Okay, I KNOW Emily voted no!” I declared.
“Something seems screwy with your voting,” mused Victor. “We need to check this out.”
“‘We’?” I repeated.
“I’m still mad at you all,” replied Victor, “but it looks like someone wants to drive a wedge into us. We need to settle this before I make any decision.”
“All right,” I declared. “Pup-X5, get us home.”
Richard’s team arrived after telling us what happened in the universe he and his team went to and we told him the news about the Rose clone and the Doctor’s involvement. “We’re coming up with nothing,” I explained as I held my crown in my hand. “The Doctor is unavailable to help right now, she’s busy trying to figure out why she’s forgetting an adventure.”
“Did Emily find anything?” asked Richard.
“She DID find something chemical in her,” I explained, “but that’s probably part of Gallifreyan biology.” At that point, the Doctor approached us. She was fanning herself with her hand.
“Could someone lower the heat?” she griped. “Far above what Time Lords are used to!” She then noticed something. “Wait, shouldn’t you be fanning yourselves as well? It IS 41.8⁰C.” (107.3⁰F)
“No, it’s a comfortable 23.8⁰C,” (75⁰F) I argued. The Doctor then seemed to let her attention get grabbed elsewhere.
“…I think my right heart is ARRGH!” She then doubled over in pain, clutching her chest at her right heart. “I’ve been poisoned!” she gasped. She then ran off for the cafeteria. We followed to find her grabbing Michael by the shoulders. “Ginger beer!” she gasped.
“Doctor!” protested Michael, presuming that to be the insult version of the phrase.
“I need ginger beer!” explained the Doctor. Michael hurried off and replicated the drink. The Doctor guzzled it down.
“Doctor, what’s going on?!” yelped Michael. “You’re acting like you need to go through detox!”
“Protein!” called the Doctor.
“Will walnuts do again?” sighed Michael.
“Doctor, how are any of this gonna stop whatever poison’s inside you?!” I protested.
“Wait, the Doctor’s poisoned?!” yelped Michael. He hurried along replicating walnuts and handed them to the Doctor who greedily devoured them. She then mimed shaking something.
“I can’t understand!” I yelped as Michael was trying to replicate something else. However, his panic was making his fingers make mistakes. The Doctor held up one finger. “One word. Shake, shake,” I floundered. “Milk shake? No, not milk, cocktail shake! What do you want, an orange screwdriver?!”
“ORANGE SCREWDRIVER?!” protested the Doctor when she finally swallowed the walnuts.
“WELL, I DON’T KNOW!” I shouted back.
“HOW IS ‘ORANGE SCREWDRIVER’ ONE WORD?!” continued the Doctor.
“She was miming salt!” called Michael as he got the desired dish. “She needs something salty!”
“What is that?!” I yelped.
“Anchovies!” replied Michael.
“Brilliant!” praised the Doctor as she scarfed down the anchovies.
“Why not just salt?!” I asked.
“That’s too salty!” answered Michael as he tried replicating something else. The Doctor finished off her anchovies and mimed a flash with her hands.
“A song?!” I guessed. “Er, I don’t know! ‘Turkey in the Straw’?!”
“‘TURKEY IN THE STRAW’?!” protested both Michael and the Doctor.
“Oh, all right, ‘American Pie’!” I snapped.
“Doctor!” called Michael when he finished with the replicator. “Close your eyes and pucker your lips!” The Doctor did so and Michael held a piece of paper to her lips. The Doctor felt the taste of paper on her lips and opened her eyes, yelping in surprise at seeing whatever was on the paper and jumping back before leaning back, opening her mouth, and letting something smoky come out. The smoke cleared and the Doctor leaned on the table before regaining her strength and standing upright to glare at Michael.
“Dearest Michael,” she hissed, “when I’m going through detox and ask for a shock, just get a defibrillator! Do not, under any circumstances, make me kiss A PICTURE OF BLOODY DAVROS!”
“Detox?” I asked. “Time Lords can get rid of poison?”
“Not every poison, just certain poisons,” explained the Doctor. “Especially THAT poison used on me. It’s Sparxotylin, a Time Lord developed poison that inhibits certain memories, especially the memory of being injected with the stuff. Lasts a long time, even throughout regenerations, before it starts to kill the Time Lord.”
“When were you poisoned?” I asked.
“Just before I was imprisoned within my confession dial,” replied the Doctor.
“The Time Lords poisoned you before imprisoning you?!” snapped Michael. “Your own people?!”
“So, this ISN’T connected to the Rose clone?” I asked.
“No, it isn’t,” replied the Doctor.
The multiverse, so large, so imaginative, so…beautiful in diversity. I have traveled through universes of pure majesty and those constructed of filth. I have seen more than any human is usually granted in their lifetime. I have made friends with creatures of light and darkness. Through it all, I have been one of 20 beings that saved the multiverse from total stagnation. I am Megumi Hishikawa, Queen, Mutant Cyborg, and Kamen Rider. At the moment, I was leaving my history class at After Academy, taught by my House Head, Death herself, after learning about the 13th Tarlaxian King Emperor, Skrandepede. He wasn’t the most popular King Emperor, giving the Tarlaxians a bad rap for centuries as Monstrous Conquerors. It took at least 20 of his successors to dispel that stigma. I had arrived back at the dorm apartment Richard and I had shared on campus and headed on to our bedroom. While I DO like how fluffy the skirt for the girl’s uniform was and how it could allow me to write a paper on it, it DOES get a little heavy after a while. I had changed into a loose skirt and a shirt that exposed my midriff and flopped onto the couch, idly flicking on the t.v. to see my boyfriend and future husband, Sir Richard Saunders, doing his job as a news reporter on MNN, Multiverse News Network.
“…thus ending the strike at the Enchanter’s union peacefully,” he had just finished. “In recent Mad Scientist News, the search for the missing Dr. Linksano has finally yielded results. He has been located on Earth in universe 1-N-T-3-R-N-3-T-R-3-V-1-3-W-3-R, far from his native universe. Dr. Linksano is a version of his current home’s Dr. Insano, a mad scientist that has, on numerous occasions, tormented or killed The Spoony One, or Spoony for short. Unlike Dr. Insano, Dr. Linksano has retired from the evil community and now works for that universe’s champion, Linkara, an internet comic book reviewer, as his scientific advisor aboard Linkara’s spaceship, Comicron One. The ship was once under the command of Lord Vyce, Linkara’s arch nemesis and well-know conqueror. After being bribed with the holo-deck onboard the ship, to which Linkara admits a threat near the end of his offer to join, Dr. Linksano retired from being evil and now works to help Linkara defend his universe. Linkara, a current contestant of the Temlins’ 1,049th Contest of Champions, has been labeled as a Champion after defeating Lord Vyce four times over now, thus allowing him to be invited and accepted into the Contest of Champions. In related news, Pilo has won against…” I switched the t.v. off as Richard went into the Contest of Champions. I never really got into it, not after Ace Corgi: Attorney at Paw lost to Jenny Everywhere. I stretched on the couch, letting my eyes shut. It was naptime. A little later, the phone rang, waking me up. I stretched, then headed to the phone, picking it up.
“Moshi moshi,” (Japanese “hello” over the phone) I mumbled as I held it to my ear.
“G’day, Megumi. Did I wake you?” asked an Australian man’s voice.
“A bit, Joshua, yeah,” I replied, recognizing the voice. “Enjoyed your date with Emily?”
“She was over the moon when she set foot on Sodor,” answered Joshua Williams. “How about you and Richard?”
“We’re doing all right,” I replied. “He helped me buy the F.N.S’ private universe and I helped him buy his car.”
“That’s nice,” commented Joshua. “Anything romantic?”
“A little hanami and a baseball game,” I answered.
“Aces,” cheered Joshua. “Now, about Shocker Rift…”
“Did you find them?!” I asked, whatever sleepiness I had being banished.
“I was gonna ask you that,” replied Joshua. My mood went down as I sighed.
“Hiro only attacked our home ONCE!” I groaned. “With an organization that big, you’d think we’d find him by now!”
“Livia and Mikhail thought at least the Joker would attack the universe they were searching, given the craziness that accompanies it,” sighed Joshua.
“What universe was that?” I asked.
“M-U-P-P-3-T-5,” answered Joshua.
“Whereabouts were they?” I pressed.
“The main entertainment venue, the local theater,” clarified Joshua.
“That venue’s chaos is kind of tame, compared to the Joker’s brand of chaos,” I figured. “What seats did they have?”
“They didn’t have seats,” corrected Joshua.
“I thought you said they were at the theater?” I quizzed.
“I did,” replied Joshua. “Their acts almost brought the house down. Statler and Waldorf tried to finish the job from their box.”
“They were onstage?!” I realized.
“The Muppets were doing a Little Mermaid theme for their show,” explained Joshua. “Mikhail sang Under the Sea, Livia did Part of Your World, and they both did a duet of Kiss the Girl. Livia tried out her new mer-form for the show.”
“Lucky girl!” I cheered. I then went back to business. “So, you and Emily didn’t see anyone from Shocker Rift on Sodor?”
“Sorry,” replied Joshua. “The only thing I saw was a Dalek cosplayer as there was a convention at Knapford, near its harbor. Gordon wasn’t too thrilled. I believe his exact words were ‘Driver, get me out of here and away from that ridiculous thing!’ Gordon’s not the biggest Doctor Who fan, I’ve noticed.”
“I suppose not everyone in Great Britain’s a fan,” I chuckled. “Much like how not everyone in Japan is a Kamen Rider fan.”
“In any case, sorry we couldn’t find Shocker Rift,” sighed Joshua.
“It’s all right,” I replied. “See you tomorrow.”
“Cheers,” bid Joshua. I hung up and idly went to the bedroom. I pulled out a drawer that held a pair of Vortex Drivers. I pulled mine out and grabbed the i.d tag that sat near it. I went back to the living room and held the Vortex Driver to my waist as it made the belt strap and fastened itself around my waist.
“Vortex Driver!” it announced. I then made a fist with my right hand, crossed it over my front, and held my left hand to my hip.
“Henshin!” I called. I then inserted the i.d tag into the belt and the new wardrobe, a blue cylinder that attached my armor pieces and external clothing as my undersuit formed, put my suit on and disappeared in a cloud of blue smoke that I waved off with one hand in one sweep. “Kamen Rider Royal!” I announced to no one. “Evil will ultimately bow to me!” …No one responded as no one else was there. I sighed, then let off a scream of frustration, not hearing the door open. Richard had come in with the groceries.
“Er…did I come in at a bad time?” he asked.
“Two years!” I hissed.
“…Pardon?” asked Richard as he set the groceries on the counter.
“Two years,” I continued, “since Hiro attacked our home universe! Only once! Two years and not a single peep from one of his Combatmen, one of the Daleks under his command, or from one of his newly-christened ‘Hell Generals’! Two years since we were accepted at After Academy and we’re still in our dorms!”
“We all agreed,” countered Richard as he started putting the groceries away, “that living on campus would increase our chances of getting educated and help us find Hiro better.”
“Yes,” I replied, “but I thought he’d do something by now! Not just sit wherever he is while we go to class, then our, admittedly well-paying, part time jobs, then return to our dorms to just do nothing except the occasional date!”
“You were the one,” reminded Richard, “who told us that patience would be a virtue.”
“Yes! A virtue for you!” I argued. “Not me! I hate patience! Patience is for wimps!”
“Need I remind you,” remarked Richard, “that one of our guest speakers, the late Mr. Rory Williams, waited 2000 years for his wife before they married?! Besides, are you telling me you’re exempt from patience?!” I groaned in frustration.
“I simply can’t live like this!” I sighed. “I can’t! I need to be busy!”
“Then go be busy!” snapped Richard. “I’ll watch for any Shocker Rift activity!”
“…All right, good luck!” I cheered as I barreled out the door and out of the dorm complex. I had summoned my mechanical horse and converted it to bike mode, speeding down the street on patrol for any wrong-doing. Just then, my radio tuned into a police call.
“All units, converge on the Beyond Graves Bank!” urged the dispatcher. “An armed robbery is in progress and it looks like the robber originated from the Kamen Rider Universe. Kamen Rider Build could use some assistance!”
“Armed robbery?!” I cheered. “Away I go!” I sped off to After Academy’s bank, the Beyond Graves Bank. When I arrived, Build and the police were at the entrance, leveling their weapons at the door. “What’s the situation?” I asked when they saw me.
“A new Smash was created,” explained Build. “It’s able to go to any place within a 2 block radius from itself about a few seconds into the future. Because of that, it’s called the Chronos Smash.”
“So it’s a time-based Smash,” I simplified.
“Yep,” replied Build. Another Kamen Rider then approached us. He was from the current series, Kamen Rider Zi-O. He wore white armor with what looked like a black and green-trimmed watch strap going down his front. His helmet had a smartwatch appearance and his eyes looked like the katakana for “Rider” (ライダー). His antennae were a pair of clock hands and he had shoulder pads and a green gauntlet on each arm held by watch straps.
“Woz, right?” I asked. The new Rider nodded. “Might I ask why you’re here and not on Zi-O’s heels?”
“Oh, but I am,” replied Kamen Rider Woz. “Who do you think is the Chronos Smash?”
“It’s Sougo Tokiwa?!” yelped Build. “How did he…?!”
“That’s unknown to me,” replied Woz. “What’s important is that we save my King.”
“Right then, off we go!” I declared. As we charged, the Chronos Smash came out of the bank. It was green, had clock hands for arms, and a watch for a face. The Smash was swinging its arms wildly and causing a lot of damage. As we tried to hit it, it vanished, then appeared behind us a few seconds later. I kicked, but the same result happened.
“Brute force isn’t working!” observed Build. Just then, the Smash spoke.
“Help…me!” it strained.
“What, help you rob a bank?” snarked Build.
“That’s not the Smash talking! That’s Sougo!” I realized. “He’s trying to gain control!”
“A Sisyphean effort, I can promise you that!” called a voice. A new Smash then entered the area. It looked like a guy in a brown coat and floppy hat.
“Who are you?!” I demanded. The new Smash laughed like a mad scientist.
“I thought, in Japan,” he cackled, “it was rude to ask questions without introducing yourself! In any case, I’m the Wander Smash!”
“Well, you’re gonna be wandering to the nearest hospital if you’re behind this!” I hissed.
“Chronos Smash, get rid of them already!” ordered the Wander Smash. The Chronos Smash attacked us through no will of his own. He was trying not to hurt us.
“The Wander Smash seems to be the source,” I figured aloud as said Smash took the sacks of cash. I charged at the Wander Smash and decked the back of his head. The Chronos Smash briefly stopped himself, then went back to his assault. “Theory confirmed!” I chuckled. The Wander Smash then recovered from the blow.
“Whatever happened to striking your enemy when he’s facing you?!” he protested.
“This coming from a petty crook,” I argued.
“PETTY CROOK?!” roared the Wander Smash. “I am no mere crook! I am the greatest scientist in all the multiverse! I have conquered time, hypertime, and the worst comic, Warrior! I am…”
“Dr. Insano!” I realized, remembering a few history lessons from Death and a few scoffs about him from Pestilence. “So, decided to use the methods of Evol to turn yourself into a Smash?”
“Excellent guess!” cheered the Wander Smash. “And, with Sougo Tokiwa under my command as the Chronos Smash, I will rule the world!”
“You can try!” I taunted. “I’m gonna desmashify you!”
“Er…desmashify?” quizzed the Wander Smash. “I don’t think that’s a word.” I stopped talking and started hitting. The Wander Smash was keeping me at bay with a staff. I managed to knock it away while switching my i.d tag out for Build’s. I selected his default form.
“Build RabbitTank Steel!” announced the Vortex Driver. The wardrobe came back and attached Build related armor onto me and changed my left eye to a blue color and my right eye red.
“HAGANE NO MOONSAULT!” called the Build Driver’s voice. “RABBITTANK! YEAH!” I went onto a harder offensive and kept up the assault. The Wander Smash was trying to keep his defense up but I found a way around it. I kicked the staff he had been using as a weapon away from him and caused him to lose balance by tripping him up. Once he tried to pick himself up, I spun the wheel, making the Vortex Driver gather energy.
“Final Attack!” announced the Vortex Driver.
“Rider Royal RabbitTank Kick!” I ordered. The Vortex Driver directed the energy towards my foot as an energy graph grabbed the Wander Smash.
“READY, GO!” shouted the Build Driver’s voice from the Vortex Driver as I jumped. As I travelled down the line, the Driver continued. “VORTEX FINISH! YEAH!” My foot connected and the Smash exploded. As I landed, the Smash fell on the ground in green fire, which Build has called the perfect opportunity to get its essence. The new Vortex Drivers have a small bag of holding on each hip, so I could put whatever I wanted into them. I pulled out an empty Fullbottle and pointed it at the moaning Wander Smash, taking its essence and sucking it into the bottle. Once I got it all, I closed the cap as a black web appeared on it. The Smash’s real form of Dr. Insano was a little groggy. He had black hypno-goggles on his face and a white lab coat with “Dr. Insano” on it. He had a stethoscope hanging around his neck and wore gloves, boots, and some sort of harness with a gun on each shoulder. He got up as the Chronos Smash managed to get Woz and Build to stop hitting him.
“Guys, I’m all right!” he said.
“Waga Maō!” (My Demon King!) cheered Woz.
“Sougo! You’re okay!” called Build.
“Not quite,” countered the Chronos Smash. “I’m still a Smash. Is there any way you could take the Smash essence away without kicking me?”
“Okay, THAT’S gonna be tough,” remarked Build. “Maybe sonic vibrations can move the molecules binding themselves to your human form, but it’s never been tested before.” I looked at Insano, checking to see if he was still concentrating on his physical form, which he was, then turned to the three men.
“I think I can help in that regard,” I called. I swapped out the Build i.d tag for the Doctor one and chose her current incarnation.
“13th Doctor Steel!” announced my belt. As the armor attached itself, my blade gained a new function.
“96 decibels SHOULD do it,” I mused as I set the new function. I pressed a button on the blade and the sound of the sonic screwdriver came through the air as I pointed the sword at the Smash. He started vibrating, then became a little misty as Build pulled out an empty Fullbottle, taking the essence. The Smash then reverted back into a young Japanese man, looking like he just got out of high school! This was Sougo Tokiwa. I switched off the sword and Build closed the cap while I handed him the bottle of the Wander Smash’s essence. “You may get a Best Match with those, given that Insano was controlling Sougo here,” I guessed. We then heard insane laughter as Insano picked himself up.
“You fools!” he giggled. “I’m NOT without a back-up plan!” Sougo rolled his eyes as he pulled out a device. It was white with a slot on each side and a screen in the middle. There was a button on top as well. Sougo set the device to his waist and it formed a belt strap.
“Ziku Driver!” it announced. The screen showed the words “Ziku Driver” as they scrolled from Sougo’s left to his right. He then took out a watch which had the year 2018 on the bottom. He turned the face to make a Kamen Rider’s face. The watch’s face had a clock theme as the hands were the antennae and, like Woz, had the katakana for “Rider” instead of eyes. Sougo then pressed the button on top and the watch beeped before speaking.
“Zi-O!” it called. Sougo then inserted the watch into the Ziku Driver’s right hand slot and pressed the button on top of the Driver to make it tilt towards his right. He then let his right hand point towards the ground while his left arm went across his chest as the hand pointed to the sky. A giant analog clock spun its hands behind him.
“Henshin!” he announced. He then spun the Ziku Driver until it arrived back in its original position. The clock’s hands then stopped at 12:00. The Ziku Driver then rang a bell.
“Rider Time!” it called. It then sang “Kamen Rider Zi-O!” His suit formed silver chest armor and a black undersuit with pink gauntlets and greyish-blue boots. The front looked like a watchband went through the head, looking exactly like the face on the watch.
“Iwae!” (Rejoice!) called Woz as he opened a book. “Zen Rider no chikara o uketsugi, jikū o koe kako to mirai o shiroshimesu toki no ōja. Sono na mo Kamen Rider Zi-O!” (The one to inherit all Rider powers, the time king who will rule over the past and the future. And his name is Kamen Rider Zi-O!)
“King nothing!” taunted Dr. Insano.
“Knock it off, Insano!” called Zi-O as we advanced. “We know how this is going to end! We’ll go over there, beat you up, and…!” He didn’t get far as Insano shoved him backwards into a wall, causing some of the building to crumble!
“The Hell?!” I yelped.
“Something wrong, Riders?!” giggled Insano. “You came here, prepared to fight a madman, and instead, you find a GOD!” He then devolved into laughing madly again.
“What are those things?!” I demanded.
“Power enhancing energy gloves,” explained Insano, “the guns on my harness are twin OMG-WTF 9000’s that follow my eye movements so I can shoot at what, or WHO, I see, and the boots… power enhancing rocket boots! Not my designs, really, but I made a few improvements!”
“That’s JesuOtaku’s stuff!” I protested.
“You wanna go a few rounds?!” giggled Insano as he slammed his hands together, causing a shockwave. “Come get some!” He fired from his guns, scattering us.
“We need a plan!” called Build.
“I have an idea!” I replied. “Woz! Build! Flank his sides! I’ll get his backside! Zi-O, Rider Kick on my signal!”
“Got it!” called the Riders. Build and Woz summoned their respective weapons, the Drill Crusher and the Zikan Despear. They kept his glove-based attacks at bay while I snuck around and smashed the powerpack for his harness.
“Break off!” I called. “Zi-O! Now!” Zi-O pressed the watch’s button again.
“Finish Time!” announced the Ziku Driver. He pressed the button on top and spun the driver again. “Time Break!” it called. A series of pink Japanese characters for “Kick” (キック) surrounded Insano as Zi-O leapt into the air. He flew down with his right foot outstretched while all the characters united and imprinted on his foot. His kick connected with Insano’s face, causing the gear to short out and explode. Insano picked himself up, then fell back down, moaning in pain.
After I gave my statement to the police while they arrested Dr. Insano, I was sent back to my dorm apartment and the visiting Riders went back to their own universe. Richard was just about to start dinner. “That’s better,” I sighed as I cancelled my transformation. “Nothing like a little activity to pass the time. How long was I gone?”
“About an hour,” replied Richard.
“And did Hiro do anything?” I asked.
“Nope, not a peep,” answered Richard as he chopped some carrots.
“…I can’t do it!” I wailed. I then shoved my face into the cushions of the couch and screamed, kicking my feet like a petulant child. Richard just sighed and went back to chopping veggies for his signature stir-fry.
My team ended up near a desert. There WAS civilization but I had a humanoid robot dog and a monstrous looking person with a scalp looking like an exposed brain with me, revealing ourselves would only cause a panic. Given the collective mental capacity of the town (Teufort), if I remember the comics correctly, a panic could only lead to disaster…and our being hanged. “Okay, guys, we stick to the outskirts,” I warned. “There’s a facility near here that keeps putting lead in the water supply. As such, the townsfolk aren’t too bright and are led by an idiot mayor. Pup-X5, I trust you have water filters?” Pup-X5 gave a thumbs up and held up a tablet. Since he couldn’t speak, his tablet communicated what he wanted us to know.
“Given the nature of this universe,” read Pup-X5’s tablet, “I figured a full emergency kit for everyone would do.”
“Good dog,” I praised. Pup-X5 wagged his tail at the compliment. Famine mumbled something.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full!” groaned Victor. Famine swallowed.
“I said, this is a town, right?” asked Famine.
“Yes,” I replied, a little confused.
“Meaning, it should have people, right?” continued Famine.
“Again, yes,” I confirmed.
“So, where ARE the people?” asked Famine. Our eyes went wide as we looked into Teufort. Sure enough, there were no people!
“Pup-X5! Technarain! Bio-readings!” I ordered. The two sent a probe into the air and scanned the area. After a few seconds, the probe announced the results.
“Bio-readings: negative,” it reported.
“Okay, change of plan! We’re going in!” I declared. We entered Teufort and started looking. The search took an hour until Emmanuel screamed in fear. The scream came from the town hall, so we headed in that direction. “Emmanuel! What happened?!” I barked.
“The enemy beat us to this universe!” he reported.
“How do you know?” asked Xiomara. Emmanuel revealed the body of the mayor of Teufort. His skin was chalk white, his lips were red, and he had a toothy grin on his face. Pup-X5 checked for life signs. His head and tail drooped, telling me what the man died of.
“Smylex!” I hissed. “The Joker’s here!” Said clown’s laugh then played throughout the building.
“So, you figured out who’s here!” he cheered. “Excellent! Since this recording didn’t pick up Bratman’s usual edge-lord rasp, I assume he’s not here! Pity, but it makes it all more fun to see a lesser man than him try and defeat me!”
“A recording?” muttered Emmanuel.
“Don’t bother looking for me here!” taunted the Joker. “I’m already somewhere else! All I can say is there’s a barn and a concrete building separated by a bridge! Might want to hurry if you want to save the mercenaries!” The Joker laughed as we heard a beeping. It didn’t take long for us to guess what that beeping was.
“RUN!” I shouted. We ran out of the building and out of the town before we heard the explosion. “Everyone all right?!” I called.
“We’re fine,” assured Brenden. “The Joker mentioned two buildings, right?”
“He has to be talking about 2Fort,” I replied.
“Then should we be there, like, YESTERDAY?!” remarked Wyldstyle.
“Steeds! Now!” We summoned our horses, converted them to bike mode, and took off.
We soon arrived at an area with two buildings called 2Fort, the first map of Team Fortress 2 and the mercenaries of both Reliable Excavation Demolition (RED) and Builders League United (BLU) were holed up in the BLU base. The Joker’s goons were sieging the BLU base from the RED base, neither allowing the REDs to return to their base nor letting the BLUs gain any intelligence. “Looks like we’re gonna do like the Spies are trying to do,” I declare as we witnessed both RED and BLU Spies being shot. “We’ll sneak in from the back and try and take out the goons so the teams can reclaim the base.”
“And HOW, pray tell, will we do that?” asked Emmanuel.
“The old fashioned way,” I replied. I held up my Vortex Driver. The others got the idea and got out their belts.
“Vortex Driver!”
“Chronicle Driver!” After those voices, we took out our i.d tags and Armor Auto-bio.
“Henshin!” we called.
“Open! Turn! Imagine!” announced Victor’s belt. “The Rifle of Range!” Victor’s Rider persona, Range, evoked a Canadian Mountie. Unfortunately, one of the goons heard the belts and spotted us.
“HEY! DOWN THERE!” he shouted. His buddies looked in the direction he was pointing at and fired on US! We scattered and had to resort to taking cover.
“You know,” grumbled Arch, “we should have Sludgiona install a stealth mode into these things!”
“A discussion for when we get back!” I replied. We were pinned as the Joker’s men kept us behind cover. What we didn’t know was that both mercenary teams took advantage of that opening.
“Ready to charge!” called a German voice. That could only mean one of the Medics was ready with the ÜberCharge, the temporary invincibility mode for a teammate.
“I am fully charged!” reported another Medic.
“Is team-time, Doctor!” declared a Russian voice, a Heavy, I would say.
“Ready for that charge, Doc!” announced an American Drill Sergeant’s voice. Just then, a Heavy and Medic team glowing red charged across the bridge and mowed down the goons at the entrances while a Soldier and Medic team glowing blue took care of the goons on top. The rest of the mercenaries followed the two teams and swarmed the RED base. We ran in and assisted.
“Now is coward-killing time!” cheered the RED Heavy as he mowed down his enemies. We all managed to get downstairs into the RED team’s intel room and found more goons. They raised their weapons at us but didn’t check for the Scouts. Both of them grabbed a purple and a green briefcase and made a mad dash for the BLU base.
“STOP THEM!” called a goon. Not a chance. We mowed down the lot of them. We then heard stomping up above.
“…They’re using OUR respawn?!” roared the RED soldier.
“CHARGE!” shouted the BLU soldier. We all headed topside to see the goons on the battlements shooting at the Scouts while other goons charged across the bridge after them. We kept fighting the ones on the battlements until…their weapons disappeared!
“Victory!” called the Administrator’s voice. We all mowed down the goons as they tried to run from us.
“Well, I reckon that’s that,” sighed the BLU Engineer as he activated a metal lounge chair and strummed his guitar.
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” I replied as us Riders powered down.
“Son, you seem to know those maggots,” remarked the RED Soldier, guessing I was the one in charge. “Who are you?”
“I’m Richard Saunders,” I introduced, “better known as Kamen Rider Guard. This is Wyldstyle.
“Hey!” called Wyldstyle.
“Emmanuel Babineaux, Kamen Rider Arch,” I continued.
“Bonjour,” greeted Emmanuel.
“Xiomara Elizondo, Kamen Rider Seeker,” I went on.
“¡Hola!” cheered Xiomara.
“One of the new guys, Victor Young, Kamen Rider Range,” I introduced.
“Hello!” greeted Victor.
“Famine of the now FIVE Horsemen,” I went on.
“Hello!” she mumbled while eating a sandvich (the spelling IS on purpose).
“Brenden Patterson, Kamen Rider Herald Y,” I continued.
“Hello!” he greeted.
“Pup-X5,” I went on. The robot just waved, earning a glare from the Mercenaries. “He’s not of Gray Mann’s design, I promise!” I yelped. “Anyway, last but not least, Technarain.”
“Greetings,” he bid.
“Those maggots, as the RED Soldier described them, worked for a clown, and I mean that in the literal sense, called the Joker,” I explained. “He’s, to put it mildly, insane.”
“How insane are we talking?” asked the BLU Scout. “Like, Medic level? Gray Mann level? Cause it don’t matter! I’ll beat that dummy’s face in! You see these guns?” He flexed his wimpy muscles. “Yeah, they’re beautiful, ain’t they? And these?” he lifted his shirt to display his lack of pecs. “Yeah! You’ll be grinding meat on ‘em! I’ll be running circles around…!”
“Don’t you ever shut up?!” barked the RED Sniper. “You’re as bad as OUR Scout!”
“Hey! At least I actually have something!” protested the RED Scout. The RED Pyro then mumbled something. “Okay, repeat after me!” snapped the RED Scout. “Mmm mm mmm I’m dead!”
“He said you can’t pull your weight, you walking matchstick,” I translated.
“…You…understand Pyrospeak?” asked the RED Soldier.
“Yep,” I replied. “We all can. A multiversal translator in our belts.”
“Mmmph mmphmmph,” (Thank goodness.) sighed the BLU Pyro. “Mph mmph mh mmph mph mph mmph mph mpmphmmph mph mpmphmmmph mh.” (It’s nice to know it’s not just our Engineers that understand us.)
“Anytime,” I assured. “Now, the Joker is here on behalf of his organization called Shocker Rift, a terrorist organization that’s after something that belongs to Famine. He’ll most likely be trying to stir up chaos with someone skilled in that. Given that he sent his goons after you, I don’t think you Mercenaries are on his list.”
“I don’t know if I should feel relieved or insulted!” protested the BLU Medic.
“There ARE Gray Mann’s robots,” mused the BLU Sniper.
“And Merasmus,” interjected the RED Demoman.
“Come on, Merasmus always lays low when it ain’t October,” argued the RED Engineer.
“Besides, he’s still enjoying his house-warming gift,” supplied the RED Soldier.
“…House-warming gift?” asked the RED Spy, a little suspicious.
“Yes, house-warming gift!” confirmed the RED Soldier.
“What house-warming gift?” asked the BLU Engineer.
“Soldier,” hissed the RED Sniper, “I swear to God if you did something to anger him…!”
“All I did was give him a grenade!” protested the RED Soldier.
“Knowing you, hippie,” chuckled the BLU Soldier, “it was a dud. Your hair must have gotten in your eyes if you gave him a dud!”
“Do you really believe I’d do something so dumb as give Merasmus a non-functional grenade, Private?!” shouted the RED Soldier. “I pulled the pin to prove it worked! Merasmus can confirm what I’m saying is the truth since I showed him in his house!”
“YOU BLEW UP MERASMUS’ HOUSE?!” wailed Victor.
“YOU BLEEDING IDIOT!” shouted the RED Demoman.
“I’m going to saw through your bones!” threatened the BLU Medic.
“Gentlemen, please!” I called. Everyone stopped yelling at the RED Soldier. “Okay, it’s more than likely that Merasmus joined the Joker to get revenge on the RED Soldier for blowing up his house. That means the Joker and Merasmus will be based at one of the Halloween maps. Someone get me a list of said maps!” The RED Spy pulled out a list and handed it to me. “Thank you,” I bid. I then read off the maps. “All right, we got Cauldron, Cursed Cove, Gravestone, Monster Bash, Slasher, Harvest Event, Mann Manor, Eyeaduct, Ghost Fort, Ghost Town, Helltower, Carnival of Carnage, Gorge Event, Hellstone, Moonshine Event, Sinshine, Brimstone, Maple Ridge Event, and Pit of Death. That’s a lot.”
“Merasmus will want a map that he hangs out at,” guessed the BLU Demoman.
“All right, that narrows it down to Ghost Fort, Carnival of Carnage, Brimstone, Gravestone, and Slasher,” I replied as I crossed of the other maps.
“Why not start with Carnival of Carnage?” suggested Emmanuel.
“Mph MMMMPH mh mmmph mmph Mphmpmph mh Mphmmph?” (Why SHOULD we start with Carnival of Carnage?) asked the RED Pyro.
“If Merasmus teamed up with the Joker, then, knowing the Joker, he’ll want a base that resembles a theme park,” explained Emmanuel. “For all his boasting of being an agent of chaos, the Joker IS predictable.”
“That’ll get under his skin if you say that,” I replied. “Seems as good a place to start as any. Let’s rest up and head there. We’ll foil Merasmus and the Joker’s plans and things can get back to normal…whatever passes for normal in this universe.” Just then, Pup-X5’s eyes flashed green. He wagged his tail. “What’s going on?” I asked.
“I left a probe to investigate the town,” read Pup-X5’s tablet. “Hopefully, it discovered something useful. Data’s coming in!” As he read the data, his tail slowly stopped wagging, then it drooped as did his head.
“What’s wrong, boy?” I asked.
“The probe found the Tarlaxian scout ship with the crew displaying the effects of Smylex,” explained Pup-X5’s tablet. “They’re…they’re dead.”
“…Damn!” swore Technarain.
“The probe’s working on decoding the black box right now,” reported Pup-X5, “but initial reports are telling me that the Source was on board as well.”
“Then he got us,” I grumbled.
“The Joker?” asked Victor.
“Who else?!” I snapped. “The Joker attacked the ship after it picked up the Source and killed the crew! Now Shocker Rift has one and has a potential bargaining chip! We gotta…!” Pup-X5 tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to his tablet.
“The Joker doesn’t have the Source,” it read.
“No, I’m positive he…!” I continued. The text on the tablet changed.
“Decryption complete,” it reported. “The Tarlaxians got the Source out of this universe.”
“…What?” I asked.
“The Tarlaxians sent it away to a safer location,” explained Pup-X5. “In fact, it looks like it went into the Tarlaxian Black Vaults.”
“The safest place within Tarlax,” I realized. “Shocker Rift can’t get to them.”
“Then you can go now,” directed the BLU Soldier.
“The Joker’s still here,” I argued. “He won’t leave until he makes a chaotic, bloody mess out of this world. We need to stay and help you…gentlemen get him OUT.”
“Considering your knowledge on this ‘Joker’ person,” mused the RED Spy, “we would be fools not to accept your help.”
“If that’s the case, y’all need to stay with us until tomorrow morning,” offered the BLU Engineer.
“What if the Joker’s men come back?” rumbled the BLU Heavy.
“That’s what a Sentry’s for,” assured the RED Engineer.
“Thank you for the offer,” I bid. “I think we’ll take you up on it. Pup-X5, Technarain, see if you can help the Engineers set up whatever builds they need.”
“On it,” replied Technarain as Pup-X5 saluted. They followed the two Engineers out of the Respawn.
“The rest of us will catch some rest while one of us guards the place,” I declared.
“I’ll take first watch,” offered the RED Sniper.
“Good,” I praised. “Warn us if you see anything. The rest of us, let’s get some shuteye. RED Sniper, I’ll take your place in an hour.” We all headed off to get some rest while the RED Sniper headed off after the Engineers, Technarain, and Pup-X5.
“First Rusty, now our magic users!” I grumbled on the last day of the trial.
“I thought Elkrandek was supposed to be better than that!” griped Richard.
“This is the last day of the trial,” replied Edgeworth. “We need to press on.”
“The trial’s about to begin,” called the Bailiff.
“Here we go,” I muttered. We entered the courtroom to hear the chatter of the audience.
“All rise for the Honorable Judge Legowltor!” called the Bailiff as Legowltor entered the courtroom.
“Please, be seated,” he directed. As we sat, he banged the gavel. “Court will now reconvene for the trial of the Experimental Portal Operator. This WILL be the last day as we need answers NOW.”
“The Prosecution is ready, Your Honor,” declared Edgeworth.
“The Defense is ready, Your Honor,” answered Elkrandek.
“The Prosecution will give their opening statement,” directed Legowltor.
“We all remember what caused a stir yesterday,” began Edgeworth. “The Defense claimed that magic had influenced the Defendant over time. The Prosecution is more than willing to disprove that theory.”
“Defense, your rebuttal?” requested Legowltor.
“Your Honor, we have examined the Defendant,” answered Elkrandek. “It looks like there was a crack in his power source’s shielding. Even if the Prosecution can prove that the F.N.S’ magic users were as responsible as they claim, that still doesn’t prove that magic didn’t affect my client!”
“Objection!” called Edgeworth. “Your Honor, there IS a way to disprove the Defense’s theory.”
“Oh, this I gotta hear,” grumbled Elkrandek.
“We’ve examined all of Vorton and tested every member for stray magic,” continued Edgeworth. “One of the officers during the examination mentioned the crack in X-PO’s power source shielding, confusing Ms. Saunders and a Mr. Lukas Ackermann as they were being examined.” Elkrandek arched an eyebrow. “After obtaining a warrant from the police, the two gave us the Defendant’s examination records. They were verified, so we can easily confirm this is true. The most recent record was a few minutes after Ms. Saunders’ team returned from retrieving the Source of Pestilence. The Prosecution can assure this court that the Defendant had no crack in his shielding during that examination! Therefore, there is no possible way that magic has affected the Defendant!”
“Objection!” called Elkrandek. “Your Honor, my client has told me otherwise and gave me a copy of those records!”
“Then they must be forged by your client to cover his tracks!” argued Edgeworth.
“The copy my client has given me was verified by the police, just like the Prosecution’s copy!” countered Elkrandek. “It was deemed correct!” That caused a stir, us witnesses added to the chatter.
“ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT!” bellowed Legowltor as he banged his gavel. “How can both copies be correct?!”
“Your Honor, the Prosecution requests that both copies be examined!” called Edgeworth.
“The Defense has no objections to that! I want to find out myself! I hope the records are given maximum scrutiny!” agreed Elkrandek.
“If I recollect,” mused Legowltor, “that will take some time.”
“Plenty of time for us to hear the last Witnesses and the Defendant,” replied Edgeworth.
“Very well,” affirmed Legowltor. “Bailiff, give both records to the investigators at once! Maximum scrutiny!”
“At once, Your Honor!” replied the Bailiff as he hurried off with both records.
“Now, while that’s going on,” rumbled Legowltor, “we shall hear from the last Witnesses.”
“We shall start with the first ally the F.N.S has made,” began Edgeworth. Hongo took the stand. “State your name and occupation for the Court Record.”
“Takeshi Hongo,” introduced Hongo. “I am a hero that fights against Shocker as the first Kamen Rider.”
“Would you please tell the Court what your relationship with the Defendant was like?” asked Edgeworth.
“It began much like Gandalf and Batman’s,” testified Hongo. “The F.N.S appeared as one of my friends was kidnapped by Vortech. Although, in my case, it was through his agent at the time; Adachi Hiro, a former member of Shocker, now head of the multiversal terrorist organization, Shocker Rift. I was chosen to aid the F.N.S in their fight against Vortech, but I was never told about how dangerous Vortech was. When it finally came to light what X-PO was trying to do, well, we all saw what happened on the first day. I will admit, I allowed my pride to get in the way during the start of the Vortech Wars.”
“Your witness,” directed Edgeworth to Elkrandek.
“Takeshi-san,” began Elkrandek, “you said that you have allowed your pride to get in the way during the start of the Vortech Wars.”
“I did,” confirmed Hongo. “Much like Megumi, I didn’t tell my allies why my friend was important to me. You see, he’s the second Kamen Rider, altered by Shocker in the same manner as me.”
“And X-PO did not display any signs of chronic manipulation?” asked Edgeworth.
“Objection!” Elkrandek shouted.
“Now what?!” groaned Edgeworth.
“Your Honor, it is clear to me,” answered Elkrandek, “that the Prosecution is trying to lead the Witness!”
“Objection sustained,” replied Legowltor. “Mr. Edgeworth, this IS Elkrandek’s cross-examination period.”
“Very well,” sighed Edgeworth.
“Takeshi-san, when you were picked up by X-PO to fight against Vortech,” inquired Elkrandek, “were you aware that X-PO was trying to save the multiverse?”
“We all were,” replied Hongo, “but I saw no evidence that he was a manipulator!”
“If you saw no evidence, then why this shameless attack on my client’s good name?!” demanded Elkrandek.
“Hardly shameless if there’s been evidence that he’s been manipulating us these past few days!” shouted Hongo.
“Perhaps in your eyes, but not in the eyes of…!” replied Elkrandek.
“Objection!” called Edgeworth. “Your Honor, the Defense is trying to provoke an emotional reaction from the Witness! It is an attempt to influence an intelligent, broad-minded, and most intellectual jury!”
“Objection sustained,” replied Legowltor. “Mr. Elkrandek, provoking emotional reactions is not a welcome action in these proceedings.”
“I apologize,” answered Elkrandek. “No further questions, Your Honor.” Hongo sat back down with us.
“Your Honor, I would like to call a woman that has more than enough reason to base a verdict on the Defendant,” declared Edgeworth. That was Wyldstyle’s cue. She took the Stand. “Your name and occupation for the Court Record,” he directed.
“Wyldstyle,” she introduced. “Master Builder and teacher at the new Master Builder Academy.”
“A Master Builder?” asked Legowltor. “It is said you can create anything out of anything.”
“Would the Court mind a demonstration?” offered Wyldstyle.
“By all means,” replied Legowltor. Wyldstyle then used the Witness Stand, the gavel, and the Prosecutor and Defense’s respective benches to make a mini-gun like the Heavy’s! “Okay, that is quite the demonstration,” mused Legowltor. “Now, one simple request.”
“Yes, Your Honor?” asked Wyldstyle.
“Give me my gavel back!” hissed Legowltor. “In fact, put all of the materials back!” Wyldstyle did so and grinned nervously. “All right, perhaps we can continue,” muttered Legowltor.
“Ms. Wyldstyle,” requested Edgeworth, “kindly tell us your relationship with the Defendant.” Testimony time.
“To be honest,” answered Wyldstyle, “there’s not much to tell. I never really trusted him. The way he held a snarky attitude over us, it kind of put me off of interacting with him. I thought, as the years went by, that was just his way of showing friendship. After what I’ve heard before today, though, I can’t say as I see him in a positive light. Why would he hide anything from us?”
“A valid question,” replied Edgeworth, “one that will be answered today. Elkrandek, your Witness.”
“Ms. Wyldstyle, you asked why my client would hide anything from you,” recalled Elkrandek. “Tell me, aren’t you also guilty of hiding something? Your real name, Lucy, perhaps?”
“Objection!” called Edgeworth. “What the Witness prefers to call herself has no bearing on these proceedings!”
“Objection sustained,” answered Legowltor. “She is known throughout the multiverse as Wyldstyle, so she will be addressed as such here.”
“Thanks, Mr. Court!” cheered Wyldstyle. She instantly winced when she realized what she said.
“…Kindly address this Court as ‘Your Honor’!” hissed Legowltor.
“Yes, Your Honor!” gulped Wyldstyle.
“…No further questions,” muttered Elkrandek.
“That leaves only one last witness,” declared Edgeworth. Richard and Wyldstyle swapped places. “Your name and occupation for the Court Record, please,” directed Edgeworth.
“Richard Saunders,” began Richard. “Freshman at After Academy and Anchorman for the Multiversal News Network.”
“Saunders?” asked Legowltor. “Are you related to Emily Saunders?”
“I’m her twin,” replied Richard.
“Ah, twins,” mused Legowltor. “I remember my twin brother very fondly. Thick as thieves, we were. But, then again, that has no relevance to these proceedings.”
“Mr. Saunders,” inquired Edgeworth, “what, exactly, is your role in the F.N.S?”
“I’m third in command at the moment,” answered Richard. “Although, that may change when I marry Megumi.”
“As being part of the Chain of Command, you must have had some interaction with the Defendant,” replied Edgeworth. “Please tell the Court how these interactions went.”
“They usually centered around developing strategies against our enemies,” testified Richard. “We would discuss defenses for Vorton, which DID help us in some measure against Shocker Rift and allowed us all to survive their siege. After the Vortech Wars, though, our contact fizzled out. There wasn’t much for us to talk about since we moved to After Academy.” Elkrandek arched an eyebrow.
“Your Witness,” declared Edgeworth.
“Mr. Saunders,” inquired Elkrandek, “by your last statement, this court can assume that the F.N.S is living on campus at After Academy?”
“This court would be right,” replied Richard.
“Then I think the reason has been made clear,” chuckled Elkrandek. “Your Honor, the Defense postulates that my client was abandoned by the F.N.S! As the Witness had proclaimed, my client’s contact with the F.N.S fizzled out! If he’s so valuable to you, then why did you not bring him with you to After Academy?!”
“Objection!” called Edgeworth. “You Honor, the Defense has forgotten a certain passage from the first day of these proceedings!”
“What passage is that?” asked Legowltor.
“It comes from Batman’s recording,” explained Edgeworth. “Let me remind the Court that it has been verified and declared free of tampering. Alesandro was referring to the Defendant’s reasons for doing what he did. The quote is as follows: ‘You gathered us here with a lie from long ago! You decided to play the long game with us and waited for some grand adventure! We’ve sent you numerous invitations for those things you mentioned. If you REALLY wanted to continue feeling that, then you would have accepted them!’ Those last two sentences are most important! It can easily be presumed that the F.N.S had been trying to reestablish contact with the Defendant for some time before their recent adventure! The Prosecution postulates that the Defendant chose to stay on Vorton and was the culprit behind severing communications!”
“Objection!” called Elkrandek. “Your Honor, we have no proof that the Defendant chose to remain behind! We could just as easily assume that the F.N.S imposed that loneliness onto him!”
“Then there is only one way to settle this,” declared Edgeworth. “We have yet to hear from the Defendant.”
“Agreed!” replied Elkrandek. “His testimony will close this case once and for all!”
“Then the Defendant will take the Stand,” instructed Legowltor. Richard sat down as X-PO hovered to the Stand. “Your name and occupation, please,” directed Legowltor.
“The Experimental Portal Operator,” introduced X-PO, “better known as X-PO. As my full name suggests, I’m the main operator of the Vorton Gateway.”
“Mr. X-PO, did you actually receive the invitations for social interaction with the F.N.S?” asked Edgeworth.
“I did, but I was too busy finding Shocker Rift to respond to them,” replied X-PO.
“Could you explain that?” asked Elkrandek.
“Happily,” answered X-PO. “Near the end of the Vortech Wars, Shocker Rift fled Vortech’s company when he gathered the Foundation Elements. We split up to cover more areas of search, since After Academy offers more in terms of multiversal travel. I am best suited for monitoring the Gateway. As per our arrangement, they would contact me and report to me if they found anything. Unfortunately, as Richard mentioned, our contact had dried up. I’m still trying to fathom why.”
“Isolation can make a person do many odd things,” mused Edgeworth. “Perhaps…”
“Objection!” called Elkrandek. “Your Honor, the Defendant just left a glaring contradiction!”
“…Your own client?” muttered Legowltor.
“My client had told me,” explained Elkrandek, “that the Gateway is the most advanced form of multiversal travel, not even After Academy can boast anything more.”
“He told us that too!” I interjected.
“But…but he just said that After Academy offers more in terms of multiversal travel!” spluttered Legowltor.
“My point exactly!” replied Elkrandek. “Mr. X-PO, I trust you’re not committing perjury!”
“If I could explain that statement,” answered X-PO hotly, “you’ll find that I did NOT commit perjury!”
“Perhaps you should,” rumbled Legowltor.
“After Academy may have more ways in terms of passage to other universes,” explained X-PO, “but none of those ways are as advanced as the Vorton Gateway. Not even the Virginia can boast the kind of computer the Gateway has. As someone who was, quite literally, bonded to the Gateway for a time, I can easily say that nothing compares to the Gateway.”
“Hold it!” called Elkrandek. “What do you mean by being bonded to the Gateway?”
“After Vortech found me out,” replied X-PO, “I returned, in pieces to Vorton. I still had some control over the pieces, so I managed to attach those pieces to the Gateway seamlessly.”
“Objection!” answered Edgeworth. “Seamlessly? That is NOT what I heard from Megumi! Did the Gateway not collapse the instant the F.N.S and their allies arrived on Vorton?”
“What’s your point with that?” asked X-PO.
“Megumi, kindly explain what you did the instant you arrived,” directed Edgeworth.
“After learning how the prototype Vortex Drivers gave us armor based on certain people,” I explained, “we all got to work in rebuilding the Gateway. However, it was still a bit shaky, and I mean that in the literal sense, because the Keystones were sent to different universes. We got the Shift Keystone first from Elphaba in Oz.”
“I can vouch for that,” replied Elphaba.
“So, in other words, not as stable as you claimed!” answered Elkrandek as he pointed to X-PO.
“Well you can hardly find any other stable means of multiversal travel!” argued X-PO.
“Objection!” replied Elkrandek.
“Now what?!” snarled X-PO.
“Mr. X-PO, were you not the one who suggested to Vortoranii, the Queen of Vorton in its heyday, that giving the plans of the Gateway would make multiversal travel easier?” asked Elkrandek. “Did we not use such a minor Gateway to get here?”
“The point still stands,” countered X-PO, “that Gateway travel is more stable!”
“So why were you not open about things, hm?” quizzed Legowltor.
“Because that’s what cost us Vorton, okay?!” snapped X-PO. Just then, the bailiff entered the Courtroom, glaring daggers at X-PO.
“You lying, cheating, spying, two-faced…!” he snarled at the robot.
“Bailiff, the results, please?” interjected Legowltor.
“I’m afraid Elkrandek was lied to,” sighed the Bailiff. “The crack in X-PO’s shielding only occurred after yesterday’s proceedings.”
“Wh…WHAAAAT?!” squawked Elkrandek.
“Mr. X-PO, you lied to your own lawyer?!” boomed Legowltor. “You made him present forged evidence in my court?! That says a thing or two about your ability to trust other people!”
“No…you need…I mean, I…” X-PO was floundering. “…I…I………”
“…X-PO?” I asked, a little uncomfortable at the silence.
“………rrrrrrrrRRRRRRAAGAAGHAAHGAAHHHH!” X-PO’s roar of anger and subsequent rant still haunts me to this very day. “I trusted Vortoranii to keep Vorton intact and now it’s just three rocks in space with life support! I trusted Vortech to be sensible with the Foundation Elements and he still gathered them! I trusted the F.N.S to keep to the mission and they got distracted by side quests! I trusted Elkrandek to get me out of this mess and he turns on me! This all proves one thing; trust is only going to get you killed in the long run! I was right when I first came online! Everyone and everything is just the means to an end!”
“…The jury will now deliberate on the Defendant’s innocence or guilt,” declared Legowltor. “Unless there are any objections?”
“None, Your Honor,” grumbled Elkrandek, the truth stinging him horribly.
“No objections, Your Honor,” replied Edgeworth. As the 12 Cendeberons floated off to debate their decision, Elkrandek spoke to X-PO.
“You DO have the chance to change your plea,” he advised.
“I did it out of necessity,” X-PO replied obstinately. “The Cendeberons will understand that.”
“I somehow doubt that,” sighed Elkrandek.
It took an hour of deliberation for the Cendeberon jury before they returned with their decision. “Does the jury have a verdict?” asked Legowltor.
“We, the Jury,” answered one of the Cendeberons, “find the Defendant, the Experimental Portal Operator of Vorton, guilty of willfully endangering students of After Academy.”
“Then, as Judge presiding over this case,” boomed Legowltor, “I sentence X-PO to the maximum prison sentence. A full century in Multi-Max with no chance of parole.” The resounding bang of his gavel echoed throughout the courtroom, affirming his decision. “Court is adjourned.” The Bailiff disabled X-PO’s ability to move on his own and carried him off to Multi-Max, where the worst criminals of the multiverse were incarcerated. We filed out after him, our heads hanging low. Never had I felt so betrayed. Richard had his hands on my shoulders in reassurance. X-PO was taken into the police car and it sped off, disappearing into a portal. Legowltor then approached us. “I understand how hard it is,” he sighed. “His role in the Vortech Wars is known to me. I do regret what I had to do…”
“Like you said,” I mumbled, “you had to do it.”
“…Yes, I did,” confirmed Legowltor sadly.
“Oh, for the love of…!” groaned a voice. It was Edgeworth’s.
“Is there a problem?” asked Legowltor.
“My multiversal plane has been cancelled due to a convergence of two universes about to occur!” explained Edgeworth.
“Well, my ship can get you home safely,” I offered.
“Hold it!” called Edgeworth. “Does it have a cloaking device like a multiversal plane would?”
“Well, we haven’t installed one yet, but it WILL get you home,” I replied.
“Objection!” dismissed Edgeworth. “Any vessel outside of my native universe that has no means of getting me there discreetly is a no-go!”
“Objection overruled, Mr. Edgeworth,” I replied. “It’s better than the alternative.”
“I don’t see how,” remarked Edgeworth.
“Well, it involves this first class ticket on a plane that CAN get you home…” I began.
“Now that sounds delightful!” interrupted Edgeworth. “Why wouldn’t I want that?”
“Because you’d be sitting next to the person who bought it for the entire trip,” I answered.
“Edgy-poo, I’m here!” called a voice. “Come to Wendy!”
“Permission to come aboard!” decided Edgeworth.
“All traffic will end!” barked a Dalek’s voice. A couple of people were then shot with a Dalek gunstick! They fell as us Riders got ready.
“Rider…” began Hongo.
“HENSHIN!” we called. As we transformed, we dashed towards the source of the shots. There was a new Dalek themed Kamen Rider, but the belt looked different to Caan’s. It had a miniature version of a Dalek’s limbs that stuck to the side of a wheel while the Dalek Gaia Memory rested behind the wheel. I could guess who was wearing the suit.
“Metaltron, I presume,” I guessed.
“I am Kamen Rider Ex!” barked the Rider in a Dalek voice. “Multiversal traffic will cease unless you surrender the Experimental Portal Operator!”
“I hate to spoil your fun…actually, no, I don’t, X-PO’s on his way to Multi-Max,” I replied.
“Bring him to me!” commanded Metaltron, Kamen Rider Ex.
“Not a chance!” I declared. “He’s betrayed my trust in him, he’s going to suffer the consequences!”
“…Then you are of no use!” barked Ex as she leveled her new gun. Just then, she was tackled by Elkrandek! As she picked herself up, Elkrandek stood in defiance of her.
“Trying to get my former client under your wing?” he hissed. “I think not!”
“You are a Defense Attorney!” barked Ex. “Your duty is to your client, no matter its verdict!”
“My duty is to the truth!” argued Elkrandek. “Given what X-PO revealed about himself in court earlier today, I see no reason to continue this farce!” He took out a belt similar to Den-O’s and fastened it to his waist. Mountaineer music played as he held out his pass. “Henshin!” he called. He then swiped the pass.
“Rampage Form!” called the belt. His armor appeared and a moose traveled down the face before folding in such a way that the antlers became his eyes.
“The truth above all!” he declared. “You face Kamen Rider Stampede!”
“EXTERMINATE!” shouted Ex as she fired. We all got out of the way, then managed to get in close so she wouldn’t use that gun of hers. Elkrandek, Kamen Rider Stampede, swung a punch to her gut while Batman kicked her head. She was momentarily disoriented until she took her Gaia Memory out and inserted it into the gun.
“DALEK! MAXIMUM DRIVE!” called the gun. She pulled the trigger and a large blast of energy hit behind us, knocking us off our feet!
“This is getting us nowhere!” hissed Stampede.
“We have to keep her still!” I planned aloud. “Can you distract her?”
“Permit me!” called Legowltor’s voice. He charged in while his gavel grew and he slammed it into Ex.
“…That works,” I replied. “GUYS! NOW!” We activated our respective gimmicks while Ichigō leapt into the air.
“Final attack!” called the Vortex Drivers.
“Full Charge!” announced Stampede’s belt. Energy gathered around his foot as he ran towards Ex.
“RIDER KICK!”
“RIDER ROYAL KICK!”
“RIDER GUARD KICK!”
“RIDER TOUCHÉ KICK!” Rusty fired a low yield blast from her gun, Gandalf fired a magic blast, Batman threw a batarang, Wyldstyle had built a large cannon and fired, Legowltor slammed his giant gavel onto the ground and created a shockwave, and we Riders kicked our target, causing Ex to explode and the Dalek Memory to fall out of the Driver, making her revert back into Metaltron. She grabbed the Memory again and took out a communicator.
“Requesting immediate retrieval!” she shouted into it. A portal then opened beneath her and she fell into it. We returned to our civilian forms and caught our breath.
“I must admit,” panted Legowltor, “that was exciting! I’ve never had a decent fight in ages, not since I came across a fair maiden. She was a human of Edgeworth’s universe, a beautiful girl by the name of Wendy.”
“Leggy?” asked a woman’s voice. We turned up to see an old woman in a security guard’s outfit in an embrace with Edgeworth who was trying to get away. This was Wendy Oldbag from the Ace Attorney franchise. Legowltor’s eyes went wide.
“Sweet Wendy?” he gasped. Wendy let Edgeworth go as she and Legowltor ran up to each other. They ran a hand down the other’s cheek before committing to a kiss. “Wendy, it’s really you!” cheered Legowltor.
“Oh, Legowltor, it’s been too long!” replied Wendy, the tears of happiness forming in her eyes. “I’m so sorry you have to see me like this, an old, grey woman.”
“Come now,” countered Legowltor. “You are as radiant as when we first met! That, I promise!” While they were catching up, we motioned for Edgeworth to join us. He had no objections to that.
“Oh, Leggy, why did you not come to see my folks that night?” asked Wendy.
“I went to Apartment 2B like you said,” replied Legowltor, “but you and your folks weren’t…”
“2B?!” yelped Wendy. “YOU DEAF IDIOT! I NEVER SAID 2B!”
“Oh, yes, you did!” insisted Legowltor. The argument continued long after we returned to the Virginia to take Edgeworth home. Elkrandek had decided to use the train he was living on.
No Sources, no new allies, no belt, no dead Vortex Riders, my situation was NOT good. The Daleks were getting angrier and angrier by the minute, the Combatmen’s morale was sub-par, and my fleet was still in the process of replenishing its numbers. To be frank, I just sat there in a stew. As I stared, my comms chimed. “Speak,” I grumbled.
“This is Igura,” replied a voice I loved hearing. “We have something for you in the Science Lab.”
“On my way,” I declared as I left my office. I strode through the corridors and passed by a couple of Combatmen.
“Hiro-sama,” said one. …What?
“You there!” I barked. The Combatman stopped and turned to face me. I noticed that his armor looked a lot more sturdy. “Did you say something?” I asked.
“I did,” replied the Combatman. “Igura-sama upgraded all of our vocalizers. Now we’re not stuck saying ‘YEE!’ all the time.”
“I take it she upgraded the armor?” I guessed.
“She did,” answered the Combatman.
“…Very well,” I finished. “Carry on.” Just a few more turns in the corridors and I arrived at the Science Lab where she and a few Scientist Daleks were working on something. Their blue casings gleamed in the lights of the Lab. I cleared my throat to announce my presence. Igura turned to face me. “I just spoke to an upgraded Combatman,” I revealed. “Concern for our numbers?”
“We can’t afford any more casualties,” explained Igura. “We need better armor until our numbers are at acceptable levels.”
“Understandable,” I mused. I then noticed what they were working on. “…That’s an Android Phone,” I observed.
“No, it’s your new Conquest Driver,” corrected Igura. “The a.i in the thing is limited, so no unhelpful commentary.”
“That’s a plus,” I replied. “So, how does it work?”
“Scientist 3387948,” called Igura to one of the Scientist Daleks, “activate the presentation.”
“I obey!” barked Scientist 3387948. It keyed in a command and a screen came down from the ceiling. It then started projecting how it works while Igura explained the pictures.
“First, slide back the panel on the phone’s back and insert your i.d. tag,” she instructed. “Next, key in the three-digit numeric passcode that you are going to set up when first activating the phone. Then, press the button on the bottom of the screen to have it summon your suit. It won’t put itself on until you say ‘Henshin!’ Once you say it, insert the phone onto the swivel and swing it down, then to the left until the phone clicks in the harness. The suit will then put itself onto you.”
“Is it ready for testing?” I asked.
“Whenever you are,” replied Igura as she handed me the belt with the phone harness for the buckle. My guns rested at their usual places. I set up the phone, inserted the i.d. tag into the back, typed in my new passcode (073), and pressed the button before thrusting it out in front of me.
“Henshin!” I called. I then put it onto the swivel and moved it until the phone’s screen was facing outwards. The suit then formed. “A perfect fit!” I praised. “And the Super Charge and Dai Super Charge sequences?”
“Press the button once for Super Charge,” explained Igura. “Press it again for Dai Super Charge. Press it twice in rapid succession while in your base form to immediately activate Dai Super Charge. Try it out.” I pressed the button twice as Igura instructed.
“Dai Super Charge!” I announced. My armor bulked up and exploded off of me to reveal my Kamen Rider Rift armor. “Perfect! You’ve done remarkably!” I then noticed a new device. “And what’s this, hm?”
“The Daleks had gotten schematics on that Sonic Screwdriver the Doctor uses,” replied Igura. “So, in the interests of science and our arsenal, I decided to make some for the troops. I’m just adding a few features the Doctor would never approve of.”
“Ah, so the troops are getting their own magic wands?” I mused.
“…Like I said, Sonic Screwdriver,” corrected Igura.
“Call it whatever you will,” I replied, “I say it’s a magical device that can perform a multitude of tasks with a simple spell, such as unlocking doors or acting as a crude laser. It’s a magic wand.”
“Well, what you’re holding,” grumbled Igura, “is one of our failed attempts. …Don’t give me that look! I tried studying Gallifreyan technology under the circumstances, but if it’s beyond the Daleks, it’s beyond us!”
“Nothing is beyond the…!” argued another Scientist Dalek.
“You, shut up!” ordered Igura. She turned back to me. “In any event,” she continued, “half of the circuitry inside a Sonic Screwdriver is actually bigger than the shell. Much like the TARDIS, it’s bigger on the inside and, while the Daleks HAVE dabbled in engineering dimensions, they’ve just been proceeding on what little bits they’ve taken from the Time Lords.”
“Yeah, the Time Lords don’t really share their scientific secrets,” I conceded. “Er, how do I…?” I gestured at the suit.
“Hold the button down for three seconds,” instructed Igura. “That’s standard for whatever form or Steel you’re in.” I did so and my suit disappeared.
“How are we doing on conventional weapons?” I asked.
“Much better in that area,” reported Igura. “If you would come with me to the firing range.” We went out of the Lab.
“Tell me, again, why we needed this place?!” I growled at Caan.
“Come now,” replied Caan, “don’t you want to turn your prison into a palace?” We had set up shop in the GeoComTex Vault, Van Statten’s base of operations. We had to exterminate anyone still dwelling there.
“What I want,” I argued, “is to return to my original form!”
“And you WILL,” assured Caan, “once we destroy Vortech.”
“We’ve lost our chance of having a portal operator to find him!” I hissed.
“Not really,” replied Caan. “There are OTHERS, others that I have contacted.”
“…Can we trust them?” I asked.
“We can trust them to do their job in finding Vortech,” answered Caan. “When the time is right, we will strike. Hopefully, they will stand with us and not against us.”
“Can we really trust that this…‘Convergence’ is going to happen?” I muttered.
“We can,” chuckled Caan. “On top of me seeing it, her future straight up confirmed it for us. I can still see it. She will be fighting Vortech with a childish red robot and a black kitsune.”
After Edgeworth was returned home, we had a celebration party on Vorton. At least, everyone else did. I just sat in my normal clothes and stared off into space on the upper level, the minor Gateways behind me. My mind was reeling from what happened after we retrieved the Sources the first time. Just then, a voice interrupted my thoughts, Alesandro’s voice, to be precise. “Megumi, what are you doing just sitting alone for?!” he asked. “We defeated Shocker Rift! That’s cause for celebration, ¿verdad?” (True?)
“I don’t feel like celebrating,” I mumbled.
“…¿Por qué?” (Why?) asked Alesandro.
“Alesandro, I hurt you in so many ways,” I replied.
“That was X-PO’s doing,” answered Alesandro. “We’ve all learned that.”
“I still acted against my conscience,” I countered. “I kept something from you new guys and it almost tore us apart. X-PO may have orchestrated it, but most of the time, I was the one who made the decision and I was the one who made you feel manipulated. X-PO saw us as the means to an end and I swore I would never view you guys as such. Now, here we are because I broke my vow.”
“You’re not X-PO,” replied Alesandro. “You’re not Hiro. You’re not Vortech. The best way to NOT be any of them is to wake up and hang out with your friends. Come on down and celebrate with us.” I considered, then grinned.
“Let me get dressed up,” I answered. I headed down to my old room during the Vortech Wars and got into my more regal dress. First came the top of the gown, then the skirts, then my sleeves, then my makeup, and finally the crown. I then joined everyone and danced the night away with Richard. He then pulled me to the center of the Gateway room.
“Everyone,” he began, “we’ve all had our ups and downs here. Together, we’ve persevered. However, Megumi and I can’t do this as we are.” Richard, what are you saying? “Not when we can take it a step further. Megumi, as you know, I’m terrible with fancy words. So, I’ll just ask plainly.” He then got down on one knee and pulled out a little box. My eyes went wide as I guessed what was going to happen next! He then slowly opened the box and revealed…a ring with a little diamond on it! “Hishikawa Megumi, will you be my wife?” The tears of joy came down my face as I held Richard in a tight embrace!
“YES! YES! A THOUSAND TIMES, YES!” I answered. I released him so he could put the ring on my finger. The crowd cheered and clapped at the scene before them. Kaitlyn, Kaede, hang on just a minute longer! Mommy and Daddy have a wedding to plan!
Day 1: 1st Party
A year later, Richard and I were waiting in our respective areas at opposite ends of After Academy. A wedding there is an extravagant affair. Richard was on the western end of the campus while I was getting ready at the eastern end. To give you a bit of perspective, the main campus sits at the center of a 953,280 square mile city, 30 times that of China’s city of Chongqing. Because of how big it is, it’s not practical to walk all the way there. Both Bride and Groom are transported to the Campus Gates by carriage. It’s a 13 hour drive at both ends, with each carriage going about 65 miles an hour. It’s spaced out over three days to allow both Bride and Groom to walk around a bit and stretch, get some food in, talk to friends and family, get some sleep before being driven again, all that stuff. The driver for my carriage, a Mr. John Clayton, the cab driver Sherlock Holmes asked after during The Hound of the Baskervilles, came to the bridal mansion I was living in for a week, being pampered and dressed for the big day. He was directed up to my room and knocked before I bid him to come in. “The carriage is ready, Ma’am,” he announced.
“As am I!” I replied as I pinned my white rose hairpiece to the left of my head. “Lead on!” He led the way to the carriage, account for my top speed as I wore my dress, a massive one, I can tell you. It rustled and softly crinkled as I came down the steps and across the foyer to the front door. The maid running the mansion opened the door for us. “Thank you!” I bid.
“Good luck, Dear!” bid the maid. Mr. Clayton continued leading the way down the driveway to the carriage and opened the door for me. It was a large carriage, enough to accommodate my dress. I got myself in and Mr. Clayton helped me get the rest of my skirts in. Once that was done, he shut the door and climbed up to his seat. He made a clicking noise and the horses moved off, their hooves clicking against the road. The speed increased as we got onto the road. I pressed a button that opened a channel between me and Mr. Clayton.
“How long have you been driving these kinds of carriages?” I asked.
“Since I passed on,” replied Mr. Clayton. “It took a while to get used to. No horse in London ever went this fast.”
“It’s a pity you’re not going to see the wedding,” sighed one of the horses. “Just another day at the office, where the open road IS the office. …Hey, that’s pretty deep! I ought to write that…!” The carriage was drifting!
“EYES ON THE ROAD, YOU IDIOT!” shouted the other horse. The carriage then righted itself. “Every dent on this thing is coming out of YOUR salary!”
“I think I’ve heard enough,” I remarked as my hand hovered over the button.
“Don’t want to distract you on your big day,” agreed Mr. Clayton. I pressed the button and closed the channel. We got to our first stop, right on time and with no further incident. Emily, Tanisha, the Apocalypse Riders, Peach, Wyldstyle, Xiomara, Tonje, Moon-kyung, Charline, Discornia, and Usagi I were waiting for the carriage. Emily, Tanisha, and Moon-kyung were in their Bridesmaid dresses, blue and very fluffy. Emily had the honor of being the Maid of Honor. Wyldstyle and the Apocalypse decided to forgo the clothes they usually wear and contented themselves with dresses of brighter colors.
“There she is!” cheered Emily. Everyone ran towards me.
“Whoa now!” I yelped. Too late. I was buried under ladies that were happy for me as they were trying to hug me.
“Stand back and give her some air! For crying out loud!” protested Lacey. Everyone got off of me and let me breathe. “You look great!” praised Lacey.
“I feel great!” I replied. “Richard will be an excellent husband, I know it!”
“I couldn’t agree more,” answered Emily. “Now, come on! There’s a party dedicated to you today and we need to celebrate it!” With that, the music and party began. This was one of the two Bridal Parties, where the Bride dances and hangs out with some of her friends and Bridesmaids. We all danced, ate, sang, and had a good time. Tanisha and Tonje seemed to be all right with dancing with me. I have to admit, Wyldstyle can really dance! Soon, it was evening and time to check into our rooms. We laid ourselves down, changing into our nightwear while our dresses were washed and cleaned for tomorrow.
Day 2: 2nd Party
We all woke up and had breakfast before changing into our dresses. A new, larger carriage approached the hotel we stayed at. I was holding my bouquet as I waited. Emily, Tanisha, and Moon-kyung were to join me on the next leg of the journey. We saw the carriage driver step down and reveal himself to be… “STRAX?!” yelped Tonje. It was, indeed, Commander Strax, Madame Vastra’s Sontaran butler!
“Commander, what are you doing here?” I asked.
“As I understand the mission briefing,” replied Strax, “Mr. Clayton would be taking you to the first checkpoint, then returning to his place of residence once you have been safely delivered to said checkpoint. Once it has been confirmed that you spent the night in safety at the first checkpoint, I would bring you and your fellow warriors to the next checkpoint. It is clear that the checkpoint has not suffered a siege during the night and you are intact…although I must question your choice of armor. It seems…flimsy.” He then shook his head. “But, that is none of my concern. I shall be taking you on a four hour journey to the next checkpoint and intend to perform as admirably as Mr. Clayton had done yesterday. Once there, we shall lie in wait for any Rutan scum and…!”
“There aren’t any Rutans coming,” I explained.
“…Pardon?” asked Strax.
“This isn’t some battle tactic,” I continued. “Me and my Bridesmaids are just going to my wedding and need to stop at the next hotel so we can have fun, the HUMAN definition of fun, and spend the night. We’ll pick up my remaining Bridesmaids and proceed to the Altar tomorrow.”
“…No shooting at Rutan scum?” inquired Strax, a little disappointed.
“No shooting at Rutan scum or ANYONE,” I confirmed.
“…Very well, Ma’am,” grumbled Strax as he opened the door for us. Emily, Tanisha, Moon-Kyung, and I entered the carriage and Strax shut the door before stomping off to the front of the carriage and taking his seat. “Ruddy weddings!” he griped. “Don’t have any targets for me to shoot!” He took the reins and we set off.
“See you at the campus!” called Wyldstyle. We waved goodbye as the carriage pulled off.
“So, when should we expect you and Joshua’s wedding?” asked Tanisha to Emily.
“We haven’t gone that far yet,” replied Emily.
“Maybe we should have a double wedding!” suggested Tanisha. “You and Josh with me and Tonje!”
“That sounds lovely,” sighed Moon-kyung happily.
“I don’t think Joshua will go for that,” muttered Emily.
“Why not?” I asked.
“He’s not exactly all that big on crowds,” explained Emily.
“Oh, yeah, he gets anxious in crowds,” I recalled.
“I think a small wedding with just friends and immediate family will do him better,” continued Emily. “But, enough about us! This is YOUR day!” The three of them were then gushing over how lucky I was, how this was going to be a perfect day, all that stuff. I never took anything as perfect these days, not since X-PO’s betrayal. A healthy understanding that nothing is perfect kept me from becoming a Bridezilla. The journey, like yesterday, passed without incident. We arrived at our next stop and Strax let us out.
“Good luck, Sirs!” he called once we came out. We all glared at him. “…Good luck, Ma’ams!” he corrected himself. “May you partake in glorious battle and either live or die honorably.”
“And you,” I replied, deciding to let him have that, at least. We came into the hotel to see Livia, Sheela, Irina, Colleen, Kit-10, Amelia, Scorpainia, Flora, Lexicon, and Sludgiona. Flora, Livia, and Scorpainia were in their Bridesmaid dresses. I must admit, I was surprised when she asked to be a Bridesmaid. I decided to ask the question once everyone stopped hugging me. “Aren’t you married?” I asked.
“On Tarlax, much like Earth,” explained Scorpainia, “a Bridesmaid does not need to be single. Besides, I wish to bring good fortune to your day as you have brought good fortune to my people on numerous occasions.”
“I do what I can to protect my friends,” I answered with a smile.
“As would I,” replied Scorpainia. “Now, I believe we have a celebration to begin!” There was more dancing, more singing, more eating, just wonderful happiness. It lasted until the evening. Like last night, we checked into our rooms and changed into nightwear so our dresses could be tended to for the morning.
Day 3: The Ceremony
The last leg of the journey and I was bouncing up and down after we had breakfast. I was wearing my veil now, the see-through fabric obscuring my features until I reached the altar. This time, all of my Bridesmaids were coming; Emily, Tanisha, Moon-kyung, Flora, Livia, and Scorpainia. They looked down the street with me to look for the carriage. Soon enough, it arrived, the biggest one to accommodate for the sizes of our respective dresses. The driver of the carriage, Alfred Pennyworth, opened the door for us and helped us in. “Batman made a request, I take it?” I guessed.
“He did, Ma’am,” confirmed Alfred. “I trust the past two days had no incident?”
“Not a one,” I replied.
“Then, let’s hope our luck continues,” mused Alfred. Everyone was in and the doorway was clear of any loose dress sticking out. Alfred then shut the door and took his position at the driver’s seat. The carriage then took off as we began our five hour journey to the Campus. At the Northern Entrance was the aisle I would walk down, the Eastern Entrance would be where the Bridesmaids came in, the Groomsmen came in at the Western Entrance, and the Groom would come in at the Southern Entrance. We chatted the entire time until Alfred announced the stop. We came out and headed for our respective Entrances.
“See you inside!” called Emily. As they left, …I became nervous. I didn’t know why, I WANTED to marry Richard, long before it was revealed that I would carry his children…so why is my stomach churning? I continued to the Entrance to see Okaa-san (Mother) waiting there, happy tears coming down her face.
“My little girl,” she sighed happily, “all grown up and making her own way!” She hugged me tightly. She then noticed something and correctly guessed what was going on. “Nervous?” she asked.
“Did YOU get nervous before you married Hiroki’s dad?” I inquired.
“My dear Megumi, both of us were nervous wrecks!” replied Okaa-san. “I almost considered backing out!”
“What changed your mind?” I asked.
“Seeing him at the Altar,” explained Okaa-san. I briefly remembered that she and her late husband had a European style wedding, white dress and all. “He looked so wonderful, looking down the aisle as I came down. One look at him and all nerves were gone. He admitted to me after the ceremony that he was nervous as well, but banished those nerves at seeing me. We both resolved to handle any hardships together.” As she spoke, I became less nervous.
“Arigatou, Okaa-san,” (Thank you, Mother) I bid. The entrance doors opened and Okaa-san walked me down the aisle. The onlookers turned to see me, as did Richard and the one presiding over the wedding, Woz. The onlookers were the Kamen Riders we had fought with during the Vortech Wars, Tokiwa Sougo, the Doctor, the allies of the Vortex Riders, the Apocalypse Riders, those that weren’t my Bridesmaids, those that were not the Groomsmen, our families, and the Gateway Team. My Bridesmaids came in as followed: Emily, Scorpainia, Livia, Tanisha, Moon-kyung, and Flora. Richard’s Groomsmen came in at the same time as the Bridesmaids. The Best Man was Michael and the other Groomsmen followed in this order: Emmanuel (wearing a suit for once), Joshua, Mikhail, Alesandro, and Turretorg. Much like what Okaa-san described, the instant I saw Richard, my nerves were gone. Judging by his expression, so were his. As I walked, the familiar tune of “Here Comes the Bride” rang out. We then stood together, facing each other at the Altar. Woz opened his book before speaking.
“Dearly Beloved,” he proclaimed, “we are gathered here to witness a truly auspicious moment in the history of the multiverse! We gather now to witness the union of Richard Saunders and Hishikawa Megumi, two veterans of the Vortech Wars! If any wish to object, speak now, or forever hold your peace!” No one said a word. “Do the Bride and Groom have any words to say?” asked Woz.
“We do,” we both said in unison. This was the time for our vows. We decided that Richard would start.
“Megumi,” he began, “when I first laid eyes on you, my heart kept telling me to pursue my affections to you. Granted, it took a certain someone to shove us both along on that path during the Vortech Wars,” we looked at Emily who stuck her tongue out at us, “but my feelings did not change that day. I want to be with you as long as we’re together. I swear to support you in all of your endeavors and help provide for us both so we may be happy.”
“Richard-chan,” I vowed, using the nickname I gave him when we were dating, “our lives, since we first met, were not easy. I seem to recall butting heads with you a lot. However, that is irrelevant as I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to do my part in supporting us and making our lives happy.”
“I know this is a little redundant,” mused Woz, “but, Richard Saunders, do you take Hishikawa Megumi to be your lawfully-wedded wife, to keep solely to her in sickness and in health, for rich or poor, until death do you part?”
“I do,” answered Richard. The smile on his face showed he intended to follow through on that vow.
“Hishikawa Megumi,” asked Woz, “do you take Richard Saunders to be your lawfully-wedded husband, to keep solely to him in sickness and in health, for rich or poor, until death do you part?”
“I do!” I replied, my conviction equaling Richard.
“Have you the rings?” asked Woz. A pillow floated towards us with the rings on it. Richard and I took one each. I then held out my hand. Richard took it and placed the ring on my finger.
“With this ring, I do thee wed,” he promised. He then held out his hand. I took it and placed the ring on his finger.
“With this ring, I do thee wed,” I vowed. We held hands as Woz gave his speech.
“Iwae!” (Rejoice!) he called. “The ones who have united in holy matrimony! The Bride and Groom who shall be forever as one in the fight against evil! The Riders who stand together and lead the fight to bring peace throughout time and space! And their names are Hishikawa Megumi and Richard Saunders, Kamen Riders Royal and Guard, Queen and King of the Feudal Nerd Society! This is the day where you two kiss to finalize your union!” At that, Richard lifted my veil. We couldn’t embrace each other for the kiss fast enough! It felt like hours for us, but it must have been 10 seconds. When we parted, we noticed the crowd cheering! I felt a happy tear come down my face as I took in the overwhelming support of my union with Richard.
Day 3: Reception
Richard and I were in a carriage for just us two as we led the way to the reception. Richard and I danced with all eyes on us. I must say, Richard can REALLY dance! He lifted me into the air a few times, causing us to laugh. After the dance, it was time for the dinner. We sat together and chatted before Mr. Fred Saunders, my new father-in-law, rang his glass. It was time for a speech. “My friends,” he began, “this is truly a joyous occasion. We have all wanted to see them unite in some fashion, but, now that it’s happened…” a wicked smile crossed his features. Here comes the funny, “I suppose it never occurred to you two or your friends what you were doing to your poor, aged parents? Of course, you’re happy, but what about OUR needs? Hm? All of you? I heard that you lot intend to be permanent students at After Academy! Leaving us behind? I must say, it’s all a damned inconvenience!” His expressions were exaggerated, so he wasn’t being serious on what he was saying. “While you lot are happily settling in on campus,” continued Fred, “we’ll be retiring alone! You all know a bit about Saunders’ domestic life! My wife can be tyrannical around the house! It can only increase once she retires from the force!” He gave an exaggerated frown and did the peely-carrot-of-shame motion at his wife, Linda. She stuck her tongue out and flipped him off, causing Richard, Emily, and I to chuckle, as well as a few of our friends. “Now, there’s still time to reconsider, yes?” We all looked at each other, then shook our heads. “No? All right, then.” He then dropped the joking attitude. “In all seriousness, you two have earned this. You always deserve happy moments, no matter what your enemies say. I wish you nothing but the best of luck.” He smiled as he said this. “All right, I’ve taken away enough time from the Maid of Honor and the Best Man.” He sat back down as Emily stood up.
“Well, thanks for the entertainment, Daddy,” she began, making us chuckle. She then turned to me and Richard. “Richard, there ARE moments where you can infuriate me and moments where I infuriate you. Just know that, even though I make fun of you, I never stopped loving you, nor will I stop loving you. We both manage to make one another mad, but that’s just the give-and-take that accompanies twins sometimes. What else accompanies us is the fact we know each other so well and I’ve been seeing that closeness between you and Megumi. Megumi, you have been there for me in cases where no one else could. You’ve helped me face my demons and it got me to deal with them alone, knowing how you helped me. I wish you two nothing but happiness throughout your days. To the Bride and Groom!” She raised her glass.
“The Bride and Groom!” repeated the crowd. A sip of our drinks later, it was Michael’s turn.
“Richard, there ARE moments where I feel like Blackadder dealing with one of his, er, ‘friends’,” he began, “most recently when you told me to beshrew you and mentioned I was in good humor. As I warned, it was a tiny step to ‘Hey Nonny Nonny’, and then I’d call Arkham. However, you have been an excellent friend to me since we met. I began as the stereotypical rich brat and you got me down to earth very fast. Megumi, you brought us all together and revealed to me all of the problems and viewpoints in the world. I would have been a fool if I didn’t change. You two have been an excellent steady hand on my moral path and I wish you nothing but the best life together. To the Bride and Groom!”
“The Bride and Groom!” replied the crowd. Another sip, then we ate and talked. Soon came the cutting of the cake. Richard and I both held the knife and cut into it, getting a slice for each other. We then took our slices, then fed them to each other. Afterwards, we danced a little more before tiring out. We heard a moan and turned to see Mikhail with his head in his hands.
“Mikhail?” asked Richard.
“Daijōbudesuka?” (Are you okay?) I asked.
“Romulan ale should be illegal!” growled Mikhail.
“…It IS,” I replied. The music came back on and we went back to dancing!
Kimi wa STAR Mabayuku SHINE (You are a star with a blazing shine!)
(O-O-O-O-O, O-O-O-O-O)
Jibun ja Kizukenai (You cannot notice it yourself!)
(O-O-O-O-O, O-O-O-O-O)
Kokoro RELAX shite Asu wo IMAGE (Relax your mind and picture the future,)
Yukue, Jiyuujizai (jizai) (Whereabouts and freedom! (Freedom!))
Akirame kake chatta Yume ni REBENJI (Giving up and challenging in your dreams again,)
Rounayaku nannyuo no PRIDE (The pride of young and old, men and women!)
Everybody SHUFFLE shiyou, Sedai (Everybody, Let’s shuffle!)
rensa suru SMILE (Generations all linked with smiles!)
Let’s Party ENJOY shinakya mottainai (Let’s Party! Don’t waste it and just enjoy it,)
datte, jinsei wa ikkai (Because you only live once!)
RAINBOW wa sora dake janai (Rainbows aren’t just only in the skies,)
Mune ni mo kakaru ze (Party P.A.R.T.Y) (but also in our hearts! (Party P.A.R.T.Y))
Donna MIRACLE mo oki houdai (Any miracle can happen!)
UNIVERSE FESTIVAL! (Party P.A.R.T.Y)
Rashisa ga (tsumari jizentai) soudai (Being unique is (basically oneself) exhilarating!)
(O-O-O-O-O, O-O-O-O-O)
Shourai wa kimi ni naritai (I wanna be like you in the future!)
(O-O-O-O-O, O-O-O-O-O)
Sude ni dare mo ga motteru yasashisa idenshi (Everyone already has kindness in their genes,)
Toki ni miushinai (shinai) (and sometimes it may be lost! (Lost!))
Kizutsukeba ttemo Kizuna ni CHANGE (Even if we hurt each other, we can change with our bonds!)
Jinrui mina kyoudai (All of humanity are brothers and sisters!)
Everybody Zettai teki sonzai (Everybody, we’re an absolute being!)
Zenin nanka no tensai (All are geniuses in something!)
Let’s Party Senpai kouhai to kanpai (Let’s Party! Seniors and juniors toasting to each other!)
RIVAL mo issai (Rivals are also outstanding!)
Tsuzukeru koto ga daijisa (The most important thing is to keep going,)
suki koso jouzu nare (Be good at what you like!)
Tsumazuita tte kamawanai (It’s okay if you stumble somewhere,)
Nanakorobi yaoki style (Just do it Fall Down 7, Get up 8-style!)
Meguriai zutto tsuzuku sekai (A world of constant encounters,)
Guuzen nanka janai (Nothing is a coincidence!)
Let’s Party Ten ga tsunagari ai (Let’s Party, connect all the dots,)
sen ni naru issai (All join into a single line!)
Everybody SHUFFLE shiyou, Sedai (Everybody, Let’s shuffle!)
rensa suru SMILE (Generations all linked with smiles!)
Let’s Party ENJOY shinakya mottainai (Let’s Party! Don’t waste it and just enjoy it,)
datte, jinsei wa ikkai (Because you only live once!)
RAINBOW wa sora dake janai (Rainbows aren’t just only in the skies,)
Mune ni mo kakaru ze (Party P.A.R.T.Y) (but also in our hearts! (Party P.A.R.T.Y))
Donna MIRACLE mo oki houdai (Any miracle can happen!)
UNIVERSE FESTIVAL! (Party P.A.R.T.Y)