Presenting the TARDIS Console currently used by the Doctor in Doctor Who: Crossings!
Categories
TARDIS Console Layout
Month: June 2025
The hum of ancient machinery echoed throughout a room with hexagonal designs on the walls and a central hexagonal console with a transparent cylinder moving up and down in the center. The room was the control room for a machine capable of traveling through time and space. As the cylinder moved up and down, a pink hedgehog girl stormed in and glared at the console. “…Where?” she asked it. The console beeped in surprise. “Don’t ‘Where’s what?’ me!” snapped the hedgehog. “I know what happened! I just came back from the bathroom (thanks for that ugly hologram of Eggman, by the way), and went back along my usual path to MY bedroom, only it was WILLIAM’S room that replaced it! Where’s MY bedroom?!”
“A rather good question, Miss Rose,” replied a voice. A brunette woman in a nightgown stormed up to the console.
“…The TARDIS moved YOUR bedroom too, Doctor?” asked the hedgehog, Amy Rose.
“Yes, unfortunately,” sighed the woman, the Time Lord known as the Doctor. She faced the console of the machine, the TARDIS. “So, dear? Where are our bedrooms?” The scanner in the wall then displayed a map. “…Oh, very funny,” groaned the Doctor. “She put them near the zoo, just past the default console room.”
“The zoo? The TARDIS has a zoo?!” asked Amy.
“The TARDIS is bigger on the inside, remember?” reminded the Doctor.
“How much bigger inside IS the TARDIS?!”
“How big is big? Remember what the RD stands for in TARDIS. Relative Dimensions.”
“That’s not an answer!” chuckled Amy.
“Well, how big are you?” asked the Doctor.
“Just an inch shy of three feet, and that’s still not an answer!”
“Listen, listen,” interjected the Doctor, “there are no measurements in infinity. You Mobians and Humans have such limited little minds! I don’t know why I like you so much!”
“Because you have good taste!”
“True, true,” conceded the Doctor. “I…now that’s odd.” She saw something on one of the console panels. It looked like a gold-plated fob watch. “…Now that IS peculiar.”
“Where’d that watch come from?” asked Amy.
“I’m not sure this is just a watch,” replied the Doctor. “I think…yes, there’s some form of temporal radiation from it. Harmless to us, but…” The Doctor’s brain raced. It wasn’t a chameleon arch, otherwise there’d be circular Gallifreyan on it. She had to figure it out. She wired the watch into the TARDIS console and took some readings. “…A chrononavigator!” she yelped.
“A what?” asked Amy.
“A chrononavigator! It’s a personal time travel device! So much better than a Vortex Manipulator! It can even cross the boundaries between universes! …But there’s only one and the person that has it is-!” She then realized something. “…That’s why our rooms were moved! There’s an intruder in the TARDIS! And I think I know who!”
“Hammer time?” quizzed Amy.
“Not with this person, he’s a time-travelling hero,” assured the Doctor. “Although sneaking into the TARDIS is a bit rude of him! He could have knocked! Now where is he? …Aha! In the default Console Room! Come on, Amy!” The Doctor led Amy out of the Console Room.
“Madame, I must protest this!” argued a man in a white coat as he stood in a white room with roundels in the walls and a hexagonal console in the center. The console in this room was a bit more…simplistic compared to the one in the current Console Room. At that moment, the Doctor and Amy entered the room.
“BRIGHT!” yelped Amy.
“I had forgotten why I went with mood lighting,” grumbled the Doctor. Once their eyes adjusted, the Doctor looked at the man. “Professor Paradox, what an unexpected pleasure. You should have knocked.” She tossed the chrononavigator to the man, Professor Paradox.
“So that’s why your TARDIS teleported it away, to get your attention. My apologies, Doctor,” said Professor Paradox. He then pulled out a bag. “Gumball?”
“Before I go accepting any gumballs,” said the Doctor, “perhaps you can explain what you’re doing here?”
“I’m a bit confused on that point myself,” supplied Amy Rose.
“Ah, so you must be Miss Amy Rose! …But where’s William?” asked Professor Paradox. “Still sleeping?”
“He parted company a few weeks ago,” replied the Doctor.
“Ah. No matter, there IS a reason why I’m here.”
“If you’re here to assign me a mission, I won’t do it! I’m not an errand girl!”
“Sontarans,” answered Professor Paradox.
“…The Sontarans?” asked the Doctor, her expression changing to a serious one. “What are they up to that’s got YOU of all people worried?”
“The Sontarans are after the Hand of Eon, my old nemesis,” explained Professor Paradox. “General Skrem the Avenger of the 10th Sontaran Battle Fleet wishes to use it to undo your victory over them in 2009, during the Atmos Crisis. They’ve teamed up with Vilgax and Dr. Psychobos to retrieve the Hand.”
“Skrem? I wasn’t aware he was promoted,” remarked the Doctor.
“He was only given the position in a bid to regain his ancestor’s honor. He’s a clone descendant of Staal.”
“Oh dear, that WOULD be a good reason for a Sontaran to go after a time travel device.”
“Right now, the Hand is in Bellwood, the United States of America,” explained Professor Paradox. “If unchecked, the Sontarans will conquer Bellwood in late June of 2025.”
“Any safe points we should make for?” asked the Doctor.
“Well, early June of 2025 would be best,” answered Professor Paradox.
“…All right. Just one thing, the coordinates. Give them to me and I’ll get us there.”
“Oh, no need, Doctor,” said Professor Paradox. The TARDIS then made its usual arrival thud. “I’ve learned Gallifreyan from the Time Lords after the Last Great Time War before the Master performed his heinous act against them. Toodle-oo!” He then vanished!
“OI! DON’T GO PLUCKING TARDIS’S OUT OF THE TIME VORTEX!” shouted the Doctor. She then groaned at Paradox’s antics. “…Right, well, we’d better get dressed and go. Our bedrooms should still be near here.”
“Now we gotta go all the way back to the current Console-,” grumbled Amy.
“Oh, no need for that,” assured the Doctor. “I’ll just move the door to here. But let’s do that after we get into our normal clothes, hm?”
The Doctor and Amy stepped outside the TARDIS once they were in their usual clothes. “You can move rooms around?” asked Amy.
“Oh yes. Like I said, infinity. No measurements. And, maybe this is a bit unhealthy, I always save the bedrooms of previous companions.”
“Hey, whatever helps you bring them to the front of your mind when you want to re-.” Amy’s reassurance was cut off when high-energy weapons switched on. The two women found themselves staring down the barrels of energy blaster rifles from people in white armor. One of them, a furry humanoid, wore blue armor.
“Hands where we can see them!” said the person in blue armor.
“…You’re a Revonnahgander, aren’t you?” remarked the Doctor as she raised her hands.
“And you are one of those cursed Time Lords,” replied the Revonnahgander. “I presume that is your TARDIS, given the means of arrival and the noise it made.
“I can assure you, whatever damage we caused to Revonnah, it was purely unintentional-!”
“It still happened!”
“Sir, much as I wish to fix what we’ve done to your people, there’s a Sontaran-!”
“Paradox told us about these Sontarans,” dismissed the Revonnahgander. “We will deal with them.”
“He also told ME about them! We have to work together!”
“My people will never work with Time Lords! And neither will the Plumbers! Time Lord, in accordance with Paragraph 2, Subsection 6 of the code that unites both the Plumbers and the Shadow Proclamation, you are under arrest!”
Up in space on an approach to Earth’s solar system, an immense ship, brown in color with orange egg-like constructs all around, used to accent the body and some used as portholes, shaped almost like a taser or stapler, with the two long extended pieces making up the bow constantly generating orange electricity between them, a propulsion system that resembled wires holding a ball of red energy, and visible turrets and antennae, was leading a fleet of Sontaran Battle Spheres and a Sontaran Command Ship. On the bridge of the brown and orange ship, the Chimeran Hammer, a green, muscular figure with a tentacle beard and glowing red eyes was sitting in his chair as a hologram of the Sontaran General spoke to him. “You are sure the Hand of Eon is on Earth, Vilgax?” asked the Sontaran General.
“I have seen it with my own eyes, General Skrem,” replied the muscular alien, the alien warlord, Vilgax. “It is within the Plumbers’ Vault.”
“I shall take your word for it for now,” said the Sontaran, Skrem. “Your predilection for betraying more…organic and free-spirited allies is legendary.”
“The Hand of Eon is not my prize, as you well know, General,” insisted Vilgax. “I’m still after the Omnitrix.”
“…Very well. We’ll leave you to your prize, Vilgax.” Skrem ended the call.
“Once the invasion starts, confirm the Hand of Eon is still in the Plumbers’ Vault, then destroy it!” Vilgax ordered his robot crew. “I will not let the Omnitrix be accidentally discovered by those bumbling walking root vegetables!”
Ssylphiel often has to leave her Queendom for certain reasons. For this occasion, she was visiting her father, a former human turned Divine Naga by Coilzette, William Freeman Goldcoil, God-King of the Forested Kingdom of Arborias, Master of the Sect of Emancia, and Liberator of the Mines of Subeartas. He was a tinkerer at heart. Those that joined his harem were willing, like Ssylphiel’s and Coilzette’s respective harems. Ssylphiel had already visited William earlier this month in taking down Anacassandra, but she felt that a happier visit was in order. William’s harem head, an Elf man named Dalvin, was surprised. “Lady Ssylphiel,” he said as he let her into the forested palace of her father’s home, “we had no idea you were coming. We’re honored by your visit. I must personally apologize for the mess.”
“What mess?” asked Ssylphiel with a playful smirk. “Is Daddy in his workshop?”
“He is, indeed,” replied Dalvin. “May I ask why you’re here?”
“Well, I assume you know what today is.”
“Yes, it’s…ah.” Dalvin then saw the box in Ssylphiel’s hands. “Do you wish for me to announce your presence or-?”
“I’d prefer this to be a surprise,” replied Ssylphiel.
“Very good, Your Magnificence.” Dalvin led Ssylphiel to a workshop with six trees growing out of it. He opened the doors to reveal William.
“Something that needs my attention?” he asked while still concentrating on his project.
“More like someone, Daddy,” replied Ssylphiel. William dropped his project and turned to Ssylphiel with a grin.
“Visiting your old man, hm?” he asked.
“Well, in light of today, I thought it would be appropriate.” She revealed the box. “Happy Father’s Day, daddy!”
“Aw, you sweet little girl!” replied William. He slithered up to Ssylphiel and hugged her. After the hug, he opened his present. “…The new Switcheroo Hammer?!” he gasped. “This thing can switch from combat to craftwork in a heartbeat!”
“Got it from an old Dwarf that used to do smith work for Anacassandra,” explained Ssylphiel. “Do you know the name Stephen Stone-breaker?” William goggled.
“Blonde beard?” he asked. “Crystal ball replacing his right eye? Built a mechanical hand for himself?”
“That’s the one,” confirmed Ssylphiel. “He and his whole colony were freed last week thanks to him rallying enough people for a revolt and I figured you would like to know his address. He’s making a name for himself in the new prosthetic limb business.”
“That’s great to know!”
“…But…there is SOMETHING that doesn’t make sense about his methods.”
“What’s that, kiddo?” asked William.
“He tried to explain his method for getting out of a creative funk,” explained Ssylphiel, “but I didn’t understand and he said you could explain.”
“Oh, that’s easy. People like him and me just go outside and grab something. I’m pretty sure, after all he’s taught me, I can squeeze an idea out of anything.” Ssylphiel arched a confused eyebrow.
“Not sure if I’m following,” she said.
“Well, this morning, I knew I was gonna make something, but I didn’t know what, so I went outside and I grabbed this.” He pulled out what he grabbed. …It kicked its webbed feet as William kept its wings restrained while it poked its bill around in confusion.
“…A…duck,” remarked Ssylphiel.
“A duck,” confirmed William.
“…How does that help?” asked Ssylphiel. William then showed off the duck further.
“…Duck,” he said.
“…Okay, but I’m afraid I don’t-.”
“Duck.”
“…But Daddy-!”
“Duuuuuuuuck.” At this point, Ssylphiel groaned in confusion and frustration.
“Daddy, you’re not making any sense! I know it’s a duck-!”
“Who said anything I do has to make sense?” asked William as he set the duck down and let it wander. “My mission is to not only free those that were in the same position I was before I met your mother, but to help them forget all that for just one second. Everyone with me right now is not here to get one bit of wisdom, but to forget their lives and just indulge in wonderful nonsense, even if it lasts only a minute.”
“…Why couldn’t you just say that earlier? That’s something I can understand,” muttered Ssylphiel.
Categories
Fahter’s Day Nuttiness
Presenting Ssylphiel’s father and Coilzette’s husband, the former human turned Divine Naga, William Freeman Goldcoil, God-King of the Forested Kingdom of Arborias, Master of the Sect of Emancia, and Liberator of the Mines of Subeartas. Ssylphiel loves her father, but sometimes she has to put up with him being “wise”.