Back in the Endeavor’s brig, Markulak was going through a small recharge cycle and, because he was a good prisoner, he was allowed to watch some entertainment. He was watching a Three Maidens short where the Three Maidens had climbed aboard an enemy ship and had to disguise themselves as Imperial crew members. It was near the end of the short as the Captain of the vessel was berating his men. “Such Officers!” he shouted. “What would the Doctor say if she heard about this?! Three Realmfleeters making fools of a whole shipload of Imperial forces!” Just then, the “Doctor” and two of her “Top Specialists” came in. One of them was carrying a case that advertised her as the Minister of Propaganda, Specialist in Lies and Bunk. The Captain and his Officers saw them and swallowed the disguise as they saluted her. The “Doctor” spoke in agitated mock Fae. She then spoke in the combined Realm language.
“You failed to catch three Realmfleeters!” she barked. “Blow out your brains!”
“But, my Lady Doctor, we’re part of the Empire!” replied the Captain. “We have no brains!”
“Then blow out what passes for your brains!” continued the “Doctor.” “When my Field Marshal counts three,” she pointed to the large woman in a decorated Officer’s outfit, “start blowing out your heads!” The Officers saluted and drew their wands.
“One!” barked the “Field Marshal.” She then turned to the “Doctor.” ‘What comes after one?”
“Two!” the “Doctor” spit in the “Field Marshal’s” eye as she said it. “Never mind, fat girl! I’ll count myself! One!” The Officers then raised their wands again. “Two!” The Officers pointed their wands at their heads. “Th…Th…Threeah! Ah! AH! ACHOO!” As the “Doctor” sneezed, the white mophead that served as the wig flew off, revealing her real hair to be black and long!
“My Doctor!” yelped the Captain as he handed her the wig back.
“Ah, my personality,” said the fake Doctor. “Thanks, Bub.” The Captain then realized that the three women WEREN’T the Doctor and her specialists, but Moru, Larima, and Curlandii! The Three Maidens then realized the jig was up! They yelped in terror and fled the Captain’s Ready Room.
“GET THEM!” shouted the Captain. The Three Maidens led them on a merry chase around the ship. They made it to the ship’s exterior and held the door closed. Moru then spotted oil and coated a path from the door in it.
“Okay, let them out!” she told her friends. They opened the door and the Captain and his Officers slipped on the oil, sliding down the ship. They landed in the mud below and caused a big enough splash to hit the Three Maidens. “Why, you…Trippy Trinnies!” She threw the oil container on their heads, knocking them out. “SUCCESS!”
“SUCCESS!” agreed Larima.
“PARTY TIME!” cheered Curlandii. She then kissed Moru on the lips. Moru gagged.
“I told you to stop that!” Moru then poked Curlandii’s eyes. When the end credits rolled, Markulak was laughing.
“Man, if Imperial forces were as incompetent as you guys say,” he said to the guard, “we’d deserve to have three idiots make fools of us!”
“I’m surprised you’re laughing at it,” remarked the guard. “With all the insults thrown around, I figured you’d be offended.”
“It’s something to boost morale,” replied Markulak. “The Empire’s got similar media.”
“So, you’re not taking it seriously?”
“Should I take comedy that seriously?”
“…I’ll leave that up to you. …Hey, are you aware of Skain taking over the Mid-realm?” Markulak’s eyes flickered.
“News to me. The Empire wants nothing to do with that asshole.”
“Why’s that?”
“We’ve got Black people as equals.”
“Ah.” Arsha then entered the brig.
“May I help you?” asked Markulak.
“I have a test for you to prove yourself,” replied Arsha.
“What would this test entail?”
“Help my dad knock a pretender off the throne.”
“Without delay.”
“Good. Now, what can you tell me about the Imperial robot forces stationed in Largandra?” Markulak’s optics flickered.
“To my knowledge, there aren’t any.”
“Intelligence reports say otherwise.” She nodded to the guard. He lowered the energy bars and Arsha handed Markulak a tablet. Markulak looked at the intelligence reports and his optics became brighter when they rested on an image.
“He’s gonna try and contact you!” he gulped as he pointed to the robot in the image.
“We’ll scramble it,” assured Arsha. Just then, the comms rang.
“Bridge to Captain! Enemy forces trying to force a call through!” reported Shalvey.
“Scramble it,” ordered Arsha.
“I’m trying, but they’re descrambling faster than I can-!” Shalvey’s call was cut off as an image appeared on the guard’s console. It was Markulak: Model 8!
“Captain Royana,” purred the robot. “It’s an honor to meet you.” Arsha motioned for Markulak: Model 7 to join in the call. “Ah, there he is!” growled Markulak: Model 8.
“I’m aware that certain robot lines are practically clones of the previous one,” remarked Arsha, “but I’m not sure the Realms are ready for TWO Markulaks.”
“I quite agree,” said Model 8.
“So, you’re my successor,” grunted Model 7.
“Once I kill you, yes.”
“That’s not gonna happen!” snarled Arsha. “Model 7 has been an excellent ally to me!”
“And what a dreary day that was for the Empire!” growled Model 8. “Model 7 disgraced Markulak: Model 6 the day he defected to you! Model 6 was a great man, a real patriot! His death in a ship explosion was most unfortunate.”
“And still under investigation!” reminded Model 7.
“Actually, the investigation’s over,” corrected Model 8. “There was no evidence of foul play, merely poor maintenance.”
“So, why were you activated if your predecessor’s still alive?” Arsha asked Model 8.
“Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have been,” replied the robot, “but when a duplicated robot’s discovered to have a defect in their duplicate line-”
“I’m not defective!” argued Model 7.
“Of course, you are!” countered Model 8. “How else can you explain your behavior? Leaving your post! Defecting to Realmfleet!”
“What next, you’re gonna order him to trigger his payload?” asked Arsha.
“…I was getting to that,” replied Model 8.
“What payload?” asked Model 7.
“Don’t play coy with your better! You know exactly what I’m talking about! Your Detonium payload! Prove your loyalty to the Empire! Activate your self-destruct!”
“I would, but there’s a small problem.” Model 7 then showed his exposed left knee to the screen. “Realmfleet was a little…heavy-handed when it came to disarming me. I’m afraid they allowed oxygen to enter my insides and oxidize the Detonium to uselessness.”
“…That’s why she made that comment!” realized Model 8. “You told her! You’re a dead man, whether you kill yourself or not! Dr. Borg doesn’t tolerate traitors and I don’t tolerate disgraces to our line!” He then addressed Arsha. “Captain, there’s really no need for you to be involved in this petty dispute. If you would just convince him to return to us-”
“I have no intention of releasing my prisoner to you!” snarled Arsha.
“If you don’t, I can’t be held responsible for the consequences.”
“An empty threat! Your predecessor told me about the Markulak line’s talents in intelligence gathering! You wouldn’t dare lose a chance to get all the information you can from us!”
“Maybe I wouldn’t, but the forces surrounding Largandra would. Think it over, Captain. Your home is about to kill itself and it would be easier on your conscience if they died by their own hands.” The call ended, giving Arsha and Markulak a very nasty suspicion of why robots were surrounding Largandra.