“Captain’s Log: Stardate 4062.8. If I might allow personal feelings to get into this, I don’t know what the hell Starfleet was thinking of when allowing those three to become Ensigns! The entire crew is on edge thanks to their antics, myself included!”
“It took DAYS to reorganize everything in my cabinet!” snarled McCoy. “DAYS!”
“And Scotty’s running himself ragged trying to fix their messes!” supplied Uhura. “They’re a menace to Starfleet!”
“I must concur with Lieutenant Uhura,” said Spock. “Those three men are not the prime examples of humanity’s intelligence or technical skill. I have yet to come up with any answers, logical or otherwise, why Starfleet would allow them aboard a starship.”
“You’re looking for ILLOGICAL answers, Spock?” asked McCoy. “That’s it! It’s the end of times!”
“Where are those three men?” quizzed Kirk. “I want to see them.”
“At the moment, they are sweeping the corridors,” said Spock. “I pray they do not fail that task.”
As Spock said, Moe, Larry, and Curly were busy sweeping the halls of the Enterprise. Larry looked to make sure no one was looking, then swept the dust into an open wall panel. Unfortunately for him, Moe saw him. “Hey! You know better than that!” snarled Moe.
“Uh, do I?” asked Larry nervously.
“No.” Moe then slapped Larry’s scalp. “Get outta here!” While that went on, Curly saw an attractive-looking brunette woman in a gold command uniform.
“Oh!” he said. The woman looked to Curly and arched an eyebrow. Curly chuckled to himself and mimed slicking hair back. He then approached the woman. “Where have you been all my life, Toots?” he asked.
“Over on the other side of the Federation,” replied the woman.
“Well, good thing you came over on this side! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!” He then took her hand and danced with her. Moe saw this and growled.
“Wise guy! Dancing on the job!” He headed to Curly and tapped his shoulder. “May I cut in?” he asked sweetly.
“Soitenly!” replied Curly. He then danced with Moe. “Say, you ain’t a bad dancer!” Moe forgot about hitting Curly, giving the lady enough time to get away.
“You dance like you got your legs on backwards!” Moe said.
“Oh, I bet you tell that to all the boys!” giggled Curly. Moe then realized what was going on and smacked Curly’s cheeks.
“Get out, you!” he said. “Didn’t you see the stuff on her sleeves?! That was a Lieutenant!” Curly realized his mistake.
“I flirted with someone higher on the totem pole?!” he gulped.
“Hey, you think she’s gonna tell Starfleet?!” gulped Larry.
“Yeah, she would!”
“And you guys didn’t stop me in time!” gulped Curly.
“By golly, you’re right!” realized Moe. “She’ll have our commissions for this! Come on, we gotta get to the shuttle bay!”
The woman WAS going to the communications room to make a call. She gave the guards her clearance and reason for calling. The guards let her pass and she met the man running the room. “Hey, Kayley!” he said.
“Hey, Brandon!” replied the woman. “I gotta make a call to my folks at Starfleet Headquarters.”
“Sure thing! You want me to set up the line?”
“I can do it myself but thank you.”
“All right, see you later!” Brandon left and Kaylee looked to make sure no one was listening. She then put a tape in and pressed the necessary buttons. An alien voice then came out of the speaker. Kaylee then spoke in the same language! It was most unfortunate that a guard overheard that and recognized it as Klingonese! He pulled out his phaser, then Kaylee fired a disruptor at the poor man, making his heart burst and killing him!
Kaylee’s actions triggered an alarm. Kirk, McCoy, and a security team ran to the communications room and found the body. McCoy waved his tricorder over the body and got the readings. “…He’s dead, Jim,” he reported. “Klingon Disruptor.” Kirk activated the intercom.
“All hands, this is the Captain. Red alert. We have a Klingon spy aboard the ship. Repeat, we have a Klingon spy. Red alert.” The Red alert sirens then flashed.
“A Klingon spy?” Larry asked his partners.
“On the ship?” asked Curly.
“We gotta find that spy and fast!” said Moe. They dashed down the hall and bumped into Kaylee! “Lieutenant!” yelped Moe. He and his friends then tried to dust her down. “We’re sorry, Ma’am! Very sorry!”
“Wrong rank, you idiots!” snarled Kaylee as she leveled her disruptor at the three men.
“Hey! That looks like a Klingon weapon!” observed Curly.
“Why, so it does,” said Kaylee.
“Then that means-!” yelped Larry.
“That’s right!” replied Kaylee. Kirk and his team then rounded the corner. Kaylee grabbed Curly by the neck and put her Disruptor to his head. “Phasers down, boys!” she said. “Much as I would love to spatter this moron’s brains all over the walls, my revenge needs as many people alive as possible.”
“Revenge?” asked Kirk.
“On you, Kirk! For embarrassing my brother on Organia!”
“…Kor? You’re Kor’s sister?!”
“Indeed, Kirk! I am Ka’Liegh!” Everyone’s eyes widened in terror. They all knew exactly who this Klingon was and what she could do!