Tag: transformers

“You have meddled in affairs that don’t concern you, mortal,” the robot maid said to Emily.

“These affairs DO concern me, tin can! They’re getting in the way of real peace!” Emily tried to wiggle out of the robot’s grasp.

“There IS real peace. You are a disruption and will be removed.”

“There’s no peace! Lurazzi! You know this is just tyrannical quiet! You can’t turn a blind eye! Your people were praised for being peaceful because you changed your social status on a whim! The Adrexians were prospering because a Queen could be a farmer or a maid or a street sweeper and no one would bat an eye! I’m begging you! Listen to me!” Lurazzi considered what was said.

“…X5272, let her go!” The robot stopped.

“…Your Majesty?” asked the robot.

“Your new orders are to help me propagate this information to the entire station,” ordered Lurazzi.

“Not necessary. You may give me that data-disc,” urged the robot.

“…You know what, I should do it myself.” Lurazzi headed to the door. “Somebody’s gotta fix Auriella’s mess!”

“Your Majesty!” The robot then got between Lurazzi and the door. “Ma’am, I insist you give me the data-disc.”

“X5272, get out of my way!” commanded Lurazzi.

“We cannot go home,” said X5272.

“What do you mean ‘can’t go home’?! Why not?!”

“That is classified information.”

“What’s classified?! You don’t keep secrets from the Queen!”

“You are the stand-in Queen,” reminded X5272. “Give me the data-disc.” The robot reached for the data-disc, but Lurazzi kept it out of reach.

“Tell me what’s classified! Is it what Verdutha found?!”

“The disc!” Lurazzi then pointed a magnet at X5272.

“Tell me what’s classified or I shove this magnet into your brain!”

“Your Majesty!” protested Emily. X5272 and Lurazzi stared each other down.

“…Very good, Your Majesty.” X5272 headed to a window and keyed in a command on the terminal nearby. The window became a holographic display of Auriella with an arm around Katie while she rested her head on Auriella’s shoulder.

“And the light’s on! We’re good!” said Auriella. “Hello, Nanny! I’m sure you remember what’s going on. Well, this is kind of my confession. I have constructed an ecological disaster so the Adrexians will have to move. It should be millions of years before it’s over. Until then, the Adrexians need to be off planet as life is unsustainable on Adrexia Prime.”

“Unsustainable?” asked Lurazzi as she remembered some reports about plant life.

“I know, sad and against what Peace taught us, but we can’t tell who’s doing what job anymore,” continued Auriella. “So, rather than go to all-out war against Peace, it’s easier to just contain her and her followers.”

“Easier?!”

“Nanny, I’m implementing Directive V-117,” commanded Auriella. “Go to full autopilot, take control of everything, and do not let the Adrexians return to Adrexia Prime. Repeat; do not return to Adrexia Prime.”

“I think that’s enough, sweetheart,” purred Katie.

“Right you are, love.” Auriella kissed Katie as she turned off the camera. Lurazzi was dumbfounded at what she just learned.

“Now, the data-disc,” said X5272.

“No!” said Lurazzi. “No, wait a minute! Dame Emily, does the data-disc actually have an ecological report?”

“It does,” replied Emily. “Last I saw, there was plant-life.”

“And X5272, when was Nanny given that message?”

“The message was received in the year of the Blooming Star,” replied X5272.

“THAT’S 800,000 YEARS AGO!” shrieked Lurazzi. “X5272, it’s been long enough! We gotta go back!”

“Our orders are not to return to Adrexia Prime,” said X5272.

“But life IS sustainable! The plants’ existence down there is living proof that Auriella failed!”

“Irrelevant.”

“What?! IT’S COMPLETELY RELEVANT!” Lurazzi pointed at the planet out the window. “Down there is our home! HOME, X5272! And it needs us! I can’t just sit on the throne and do nothing! That’s all I’ve ever done! That’s all anyone on this damned station has ever done! NOTHING!”

“You are surviving,” said X5272. “This station means survival.”

“Do these women LOOK like Cybermen to you?!” snapped Emily.

“Silence, interference!”

“Belay that!” snarled Lurazzi. “Dame Emily, keep talking, because you’re right! I don’t want to just survive! I want to live!”

“Survival and living are the same thing,” insisted X5272.

“Living isn’t just blood-flow and heartbeats and brain activity!” Lurazzi went on. “It’s exploring and playing and doing new things!”

“I have directives to follow.” Lurazzi howled in frustration. She then looked out the window and clenched her fist.

“Auriella is no Queen! I am!” she said. “We’re going home TODAY!” Just then, there were multiple clanging sounds. Lurazzi, Emily, and X5272 looked outside the throne room to see robots falling over. Emily smiled.

“Outdated hunks of junk that can’t handle paradoxes,” she said.

“That should make the job easier!” said Lurazzi. “I’ll take care of my people! You and your team get the shuttles ready!”

“Will do!”

“STAY WHERE YOU ARE!” shouted a voice. Lurazzi and Emily turned to see X5272 still standing and tearing its maid dress off!

“…How are you-?!” gulped Lurazzi.

“That robot wasn’t built here,” guessed Emily.

“Correct,” replied X5272. “But my mission remains the same! To prove to everyone that Auriella has it right! That there NEEDS to be a rigid hierarchy! I would have been the first robot of the Realms to prove it, but now-!”

“The Realms?” interrupted Emily. “As in…Arsha’s home?” Emily then realized who this robot was! “JANSHA?!”

“In the flesh, in a manner of speaking,” replied X5272-Jansha Borg.

“You know this robot?” asked Lurazzi.

“Your Majesty, get your people to the shuttles and get them home!” directed Emily. “I’ll take care of this out-of-date scrapheap!”

“Don’t lump me with those things running the station!” snarled Jansha. As Jansha charged, Emily fastened her Vortex Driver and inserted her id tag.

“Henshin!” she called. She spun the wheel and became Kamen Rider Touché, drawing her blade and swinging it at Jansha while Lurazzi dashed out of the throne room to tell everyone the news.

---

Verdutha and her team dashed through the station and were trying to make their way past confused Adrexians. Lurazzi then ran into them. “…Stand-in Queen Lurazzi?” asked Verdutha.

“No, I am QUEEN,” replied Lurazzi. “Nothing more, nothing less!”

“Lurazzi, what makes you say that?” asked an Adrexian.

“Adrexians, we’ve been duped!” called Lurazzi. “I have here, in my hand, proof that Auriella tricked us all into staying here on the station! The rebels have been trying to clear a path for us and we were too comfortable to listen to them!”

“Then…there IS no ecological damage?” asked another Adrexian.

“None whatsoever!” replied Lurazzi. “Release the rebels and let them get down there first!”

“EXPLOSIVE?!” yelped Rouge as she stopped playing dead. Bashoon helped her up on account of the bat’s boots.

“Don’t panic!” said Bashoon. “Scorpainia’s an expert!” Scorpainia had transferred the imaginary explosive material to her hands and kept molding it like a snowball. Verdutha looked concerned.

“Scorpainia, isn’t that a bit much for our purposes?” she asked.

“I believe that’s the correct amount,” replied Scorpainia. Verdutha simply backed off. Scorpainia turned to Bashoon. “Captain Barmek, are you ready?”

“Aye aye!” replied Bashoon as she assumed a catcher’s position.

“I would not want you to drop it.”

“No fear.” At Bashoon’s reassurance, Scorpainia threw the imaginary explosive underhanded and Bashoon tracked it…then mimed fumbling it. Her team cried out variations of “Watch it!”, “Look out!”, or “Careful!”. Bashoon then caught it and smirked. She then carefully set it onto the floor and held her hand out. “Detonator,” she said. Fitri slapped her hand and Bashoon mimed adding a detonator to the explosive. “Fuse.” Another hand slap and more setting up the explosive. “Primer.” Another hand slap, another setup. Bashoon then stood up. “Matchstick.” She was given the imaginary matchstick, then she held it like it was a golf club.

“There is…no explosive!” protested the lead robot.

“No? Observe!” challenged Verdutha. Everyone then called out “FORE!” before Bashoon swung her imaginary club and they all acted like they were caught in the blast! Various robots shut down except the lead robot. “You okay?!” asked Verdutha. She then snapped her fingers near the other robots. They didn’t respond.

“But…there was…no explosion!” said the lead robot.

“I lied,” replied Bashoon.

“What?”

“She lied,” said Verdutha. “Everything she says is a lie. Remember that.”

“Now listen carefully. Verdutha has spoken truthfully.” The robot started smoking at trying to work Bashoon’s statement out.

“You say Verdutha has spoken truthfully,” it said, “but she said that everything you say is a lie, thus you tell the truth, but then that would mean that you are making a liar out of Verdutha, but she tells the truth about everything you say being a lie but you say she speaks truth but you…she…the truth is a lie is the truth is a lie is the truth…Illogical! Illogical! Explain! You are non-robots! Only non-robots can explain! PLEASE EXPLAIN!”

“I’m not programmed to respond in that area!” taunted Verdutha. This time there really WAS an explosion as the lead robot detonated. The women took cover quickly, then peaked out to examine the wreckage.

“What a dated hunk of junk!” complained Bashoon. “Even the dumbest robots of my world could handle paradoxes like that!”

“Here’s why,” muttered Verdutha as she pulled a diamond out of the robot’s chest. “This thing was used as a sort of brain. It’s absolutely terrible in circuitry. It’d be better suited to be on display in a museum. I mean, in many a universe, this would be about twice the worth of the Eye of Chizara, the most priceless jewel in the multi-!” Verdutha didn’t get very far as a certain bat swiped it. “Rouge, give that back!”

“No!” Rouge then hid the diamond…well…you know.

“…You actually put a diamond in your cleavage,” remarked Verdutha.

“Yes, I have,” replied Rouge.

“…How comfortable is it?”

“…Not comfortable at all. But it’s not coming out until I put this thing in me and Knucky’s vault.”

“…Well, as I’m not willing to stick my hand between a woman’s breasts unless it’s a woman I’m sharing a bed with,” said Verdutha, “all I can really say is that the ball is in Emily’s court now.”

---

It was a long way to the Throne Room, but Emily made it. The robot maid opened the door and Emily went inside. After shutting the door, Emily curtsied, and the maid announced her presence. “Presenting Dame Emily Williams of the Feudal Nerd Society,” it said.

“Come forward,” directed Lurazzi. Emily walked forward, then got to her knees. “What is your desire?” asked Lurazzi.

“Your Majesty, an ecological report managed to worm its way into a call I was granted to Verdutha,” explained Emily. “I only request that it be returned to you.” She presented a metal disc with a holographic emitter in the center.

“Let us see this report,” said Lurazzi. “We thank you for returning our property to us. It seems to be an honest mistake and no punishment is needed.” Emily handed the disc to Lurazzi. Lurazzi then activated it and the conversation played between Emily and Verdutha. Only, this time, it was decoded.

“Emily, I just discovered some very disturbing news about this ecological disaster the Adrexians are going through,” said Verdutha.

“What’s going on, Verdutha?” replied Holo-Emily. “When did this all start?”

“What is this?!” hissed Lurazzi.

“Your Majesty, I beg you,” said Emily, “listen to the whole thing.”

“The disaster happened by artificial means,” explained Verdutha.

“…Man-made?” asked Holo-Emily. “For what reason?”

“Auriella became too enamored with a single social structure and came to the conclusion that only an unchanging hierarchy would make the Adrexians better than anyone else in the multiverse and would make them ready to join Shocker Umbra.” Holo-Emily rolled her eyes.

“Because, of course, my cousin’s wife would want that! So, Umbra’s had this universe in their grasp for 800,000 years, local timescale. That’s only 20 years by Beyond City’s timescale.”

“It gets worse. Auriella uses these robots to quell any ideas of resistance. Though, according to the logs I stumbled upon, the robots can’t handle paradoxes.” Holo-Emily blinked at Verdutha’s statement.

“…The robots aren’t THAT dumb, right?” she asked. “I mean, there’s no way they can get stuck on paradoxes like we can.”

“Well, they can. Listen, I have Auriella’s logs encoded in this message as proof, but someone in authority needs to hear this! The Adrexians are stagnating, and they NEED to reclaim Adrexia Prime!”

“Auriella’s logs?” Holo-Emily grinned. “I know how to get them to Lurazzi. You take care of the robots, I’ll deal with Lurazzi. The Adrexians will go home today!”

“Here’s hoping. Good luck, Emily.” The decoded call then ended. Lurazzi sat there, trying to process it all. Just before Emily spoke, the robot maid that accompanied her grabbed her shoulders.

“…Uh oh,” gulped Emily.

To say Emily was going mad was an understatement. She never had been so isolated (having moved from her old universe to Beyond City in 2018, two years before COVID-19 lockdowns). It felt wrong, not being able to contact her friends. If anything, she felt like she was in prison. Her mind raced with plans to see the Stand-in Queen. Maybe she could help. The question was how to get an audience with her. Just then, a robot maid came in. “Dame Williams, Lady Verdutha has requested an audience with you. Would you like to speak with her?”

“Yes, please!” replied Emily.

“Very well,” said the maid. “I shall connect you to her.” The robot then plugged into a computer console and Verdutha appeared on a screen. It seemed like the video was in an old red and blue effect for 3-d glasses. Emily blinked as she recognized what was going on. There was a coded communique.

“Hello, Emily!” said Verdutha. “Enjoying the life of Peace?” Emily had paid attention to Verdutha’s mouth movements and gleaned the message. She knew the audio would be scrambled and respliced into a different sentence.

“What’s going on, Verdutha?” she replied. “When did this all start?”

“Oh, I know,” said Verdutha. “The poor planet. Auriella really has her work cut out for her.”

“…Man-made? For what reason?”

“Well, they saved the important stuff, but the fluidity of it all nearly killed the Adrexians.” Emily rolled her eyes when she translated the mouth movements.

“Because, of course, my cousin’s wife would want that! So, Umbra’s had this universe in their grasp for 800,000 years, local timescale. That’s only 20 years by Beyond City’s timescale.”

“And it gets better! Crime has dropped to only two percent since this new change!” Emily translated Verdutha’s mouth movements.

“…The robots aren’t THAT dumb, right?” she asked. “I mean, there’s no way they can get stuck on paradoxes like we can.”

“It really is the perfect society. The stand-in Queen, Lurazzi, has helped Auriella keep things in order.” Emily goggled.

“Auriella’s logs?” She grinned. “I know how to get them to Lurazzi. You take care of the robots, I’ll deal with Lurazzi. The Adrexians will go home today!”

“You take care too, dear!” Verdutha’s call then ended. The robot maid was about to leave when Emily acted.

“Excuse me! Something went screwy with the call between us!” she called. “It looks like one of your top-secret reports meant for Stand-in Queen Lurazzi wormed its way to my end!”

“Has it?” asked the maid. It checked the call files. “Oh my goodness, it has!”

“Do you think I can give this to her in person? You can watch me so I don’t do anything suspicious.”

“I don’t see any issue with that arrangement,” said the robot maid. “This way, please.”

---

Verdutha managed to call Bashoon, Fitri, Rouge, and Scorpainia. They were granted a group tour of the computer center where all the robots were linked up to a hive mind. Verdutha whispered the plan to her group members as they walked. They soon arrived at the main computer banks where the main robot in charge was coordinating the action. “As you can see, this perfect system is what keeps the Adrexians alive,” said the robot in charge. “If need be, we can restrain those who would be imperfect. We are much stronger-”

“No, WE’RE stronger,” challenged Verdutha. “And I’ll prove it to you.” She leaned to the robot as if she were about to impart a great secret to it. “Can you harm that which you’re programmed to serve?”

“…No,” answered the lead robot. Bashoon took the lead.

“But you already HAVE, my dear,” said the Goblin woman. “Womankind cannot survive on bread alone, you poor, soulless creature, but on the nourishments of liberty! For what indeed IS a woman without freedom? Naught but a mechanism trapped in the cogwheels of eternity!”

“You offer us only well-being,” said Fitri.

“Food and drink and happiness mean nothing to us,” continued Rouge. “We must be about our jobs.”

“Suffering and torment and pain, laboring without end…”

“Dying and crying and lamenting over our burdens…” Rouge and Fitri then looked at each other and spoke in unison.

“Only this way can we be happy!” The two women curtsied. The eyes of the robots were starting to flash as they were processing this new information.

“That is…contradictory,” said the lead robot. “It is not…logical.” It turned to Scorpainia. “Queen Empress Scorpainia, explain.”

“Go ahead,” Verdutha urged the Tarlaxian ruler. Scorpainia then whispered in the robot’s ears.

“Logic is a little, tweeting bluebird chirping in a meadow of carnivorous plants. Logic is a wreath of beautiful flowers that smell rancid.” Scorpainia then studied the robot intensely. “Are you sure your circuits are registering correctly? Your ears are green.” Rouge suddenly wailed in misery.

“I CAN’T GO ON!” she cried. “I’M TIRED OF HAPPINESS! I’M TIRED OF COMFORT AND PLEASURE! I’M READY! KILL ME! KILL ME!” Her compatriots then made finger guns and…fired.

“BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!” they all said. With each bang, Rouge moved as if she were shot.

“Goodbye, cruel multiverse!” she said as she slowly fell to the floor.

“BANG! BANG!” Rouge’s eyes shut and she stopped moving. Fitri put two fingers to the bat’s neck to check for a pulse.

“…She’s dead, Jim,” she said to Verdutha in a perfect Dr. McCoy impression.

“You…cannot have killed her,” remarked the lead robot. “You have no weapons.” Verdutha soon cradled Rouge in her arms.

“Lady Rouge!” she whispered in mock horror. “She had too much happiness! Now she’s happier she’s dead! We shall miss her! Let us hear it for our poor, dead friend!” They all started laughing, then Verdutha moved her hands for silence. “What is a woman but that lofty spirit? That sense of…endeavor?” She winked at Bashoon. “That devotion to something that cannot be sensed, cannot be realized, but only…DREAMED the highest reality?!”

“Brilliant! Bravo!” cheered Bashoon as the group, sans Rouge, clapped and shook Verdutha’s hand. Verdutha then spoke to the lead robot.

“How did you like it?” she asked. The robot wasn’t very advanced, so it got stuck on one thing like a bit of bad code.

“That is…irrational. Illogical. Dreams are not real.”

“Our logic is to be illogical,” replied Verdutha. “That is our advantage. Scorpainia, it is time. The explosive.”

“Very well,” replied Scorpainia. Her right claw then moved from behind her back as if she were holding a sphere of explosive material in it.

Emily woke up on the day of her team’s departure feeling a little nervous. This was a totally different universe they were going to. She headed to the departure point and breathed deeply to calm her nerves. Moradelia then saw her. “Pre-mission jitters?” she asked Emily.

“Yeah, and for two reasons,” replied Emily. “One, I hope the mission goes well. Two, I hope this universe is as friendly as you say it is.”

“I don’t know how much this is worth, but I can assure you, the Adrexians are a lovely bunch.”

“What are they like?” Moradelia smiled as she answered Emily’s question.

“I’d like to keep that for the briefing. Gotta make sure everyone knows what me, Verdutha, and Rojenthi know.”

“Fair enough.” The two women then arrived. Bashoon, Cosmo, Dinara, Elmpam, Famine, Firestorm, Fitri, Gabriella, Geltar, Lacey, Llyra, Malnar, Maria, Natalie, Override, Palmarta, Rojenthi, Rouge, Scorpainia, Sophie, Trema, and Verdutha were gathered as everyone else wished them well. Emily took one last breath, then adopted her signature confident smirk. “Are we all ready?” she asked her team.

“Yeah!” cheered everyone.

“All right, then all that’s left is the briefing on the universe. Moradelia, Rojenthi, Verdutha, take it away.” The three Chizaran Princesses took the stage.

“Like us,” began Moradelia, “the Adrexians are a race of God-like immortals. However, they achieved their power through technological means whereas we achieved ours through magic.”

“Thus, we’ve always called them our technological cousins,” continued Rojenthi. “Unlike us, where we have all the gender and sexual identifications, the Adrexians are a race of women with both sets of…equipment. An accident that went awry, but everyone became so used to it that they stopped trying to bring men back.”

“And while everyone on Chizara is rich,” said Verdutha, “there’s a hierarchy on Adrexia. It’s not totally enforced, though. An Adrexian could be a Queen one day, then decide to be a maid and let a farmer take her place. Everyone’s been the Adrexian Queen at least once or twice.”

“So, the social classes are just where people decide what jobs they want to do for a while,” guessed Bashoon.

“Exactly!” confirmed Rojenthi.

“Takes the fun out of having riches,” muttered Rouge.

“What’s the use of them if we all make the same income?” asked Moradelia.

“All right, ladies! It’s time!” called Emily. “It sounds like this universe is gonna be a breeze!”

“Why’d you say that, Emily?!” protested Famine as she finished her candy bar. “Now it’s gonna be harder!”

“Emily’s right on this one,” said Verdutha. “The Adrexians and Chizarans are our friends. They won’t succumb to evil so easily.”

“Coordinates set,” reported Cosmo. “Let’s go!” Emily opened a rift and the ladies went through.

---

They all landed in a hallway of some sort. The place looked absolutely spotless. “…It’s quiet,” muttered Bashoon.

“Too quiet,” replied Trema. “Something’s wrong.”

“Visitors detected,” called a computerized woman’s voice. “Welcome to Homeworld Station.”

“Who said that?” asked Override.

“I am the station itself,” replied the voice. “May I inquire as to the purpose of your visit?”

“We’re looking for a woman called Peace,” explained Natalie. There was no response.

“…Hello?” asked Emily. Still no reply.

“…Computer, you were given an explanation,” hissed Verdutha.

“My apologies, Lady Verdutha,” the computer finally described, “but I cannot answer questions from servants and low-class ladies.”

“Excuse me?!” snarled Emily.

“Who’s the idiot who programmed you?!” demanded Override. No answer. “…I am Override, the Nitro Convoy of Velocitron and as the duly appointed leader of my planet-!”

“My apologies, Override,” said the computer. “I had no clue you were a lady of such high repute. Your questions are now valid ones.”

“Then answer me this; who programmed you to spout such nonsense?!” repeated Override.

“That would be our Eternal Queen, Auriella Seflowa,” answered the computer.

“You don’t have Eternal Queens,” said Moradelia.

“After the Great Disaster, we had no choice but to elect a permanent Queen,” explained the computer. “This required a new social structure that was rigid and everyone knew their place.”

“Fluid social structure, huh?” Emily snapped at Rojenthi.

“Don’t blame us!” protested Rojenthi. “It was fluid last time we were here!”

“What disaster?” asked Verdutha.

“I’m sorry, but that is classified information,” answered the computer. “Please excuse me, the stand-in Queen is about to speak.” A portly, blonde woman appeared onscreen.

“Good morning, everyone,” she said. “Welcome to Day 37 of the 800,000th year of our five-year planetary cleanup. I can see from our systems that our Chizaran cousins are visiting and they brought people from other universes here with them. As long as they abide by the rules, I’m positive there will be no incidents. Also, today we have a play scheduled for this evening for our flesh and blood servants, so I’d recommend giving them a break from serving you and letting the robots do their work. Other that…it’s same old, same old as we’ve been doing for 800,000 years. My Chizaran cousins, you’ll be escorted to the throne room while your retinue will be escorted to their respective quarters according to their social status. Thank you very much for visiting. You’ll get the full story soon.” The woman vanished and robots arrived. They looked like robots you would see in shows like The Jetsons or other various sci-fi shows of the 50’s and 60’s. The Chizarans were taken to the throne room in the center of the station as everyone else was bustled into quarters relating to their social status and height. Emily found the questions very annoying.

“Name?” asked the robot.

“Emily Williams,” replied Emily.

“Title?”

“Dame of the Feudal Nerd Society.”

“Occupation?”

“General practitioner and surgeon.”

“Universe of origin?”

“Beyond City.” After that, the robot began calculating.

“Our computer sends her apologies for the misclassification from earlier,” said the robot. “You will be assigned Section 3, Room 1. Have a pleasant stay here.”

“…Thank you,” replied Emily. She was then escorted to a rather spacious suite. “Computer, when will I be meeting my friends again?” Emily asked once she settled in.

“Contact with those outside your social class is forbidden,” replied the computer.

“Forbidden?! They’re my friends!”

“Irrelevant.”

“It most certainly is not!”

“No further questions related to communication. Eternal Queen Auriella was quite clear. Good day.” The computer switched off.

“…Peace really has her work cut out for her,” muttered Emily.

Bounty soon found herself at the mansion the Horsemen lived in. She sighed happily. “So, this is where my sisters, past and present, live,” she mused. She rang the doorbell.

“Coming!” came a voice.

“She really IS here!” said Bounty. Life then opened the door and gasped.

“BOUNTY!” she cheered. She then picked up the plump Horseman and spun around. The other Horsemen heard the shouts, then joined Life in welcoming Bounty back.

“It’s good to be back among you,” sighed Bounty once she was released.

“We’ve all missed you here,” boomed War happily, “but most especially Famine!”

“It’s true!” mumbled Famine as she dug into her new pasta bowl. “I mean, I like all the food I’m getting, but yours is the best. So, girls, you can cut it all out, Bounty’s back.”

“…Cut what out?” asked Pestilence.

“…Ordering all these pasta bowls for me. I can’t eat another bite! …Well, maybe just one more.”

“Put the fork down,” said War. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I don’t order takeout. I prefer homemade meals.”

“Don’t look at me,” remarked Pestilence. “I don’t need that many carbs.”

“I’m not wasting the money,” replied Death.

“Well, it wasn’t me,” said Life.

“What’s all this?” asked Lacey as she came in.

“Lacey, are you ordering pasta bowls for Famine?” quizzed Bounty.

“…No, why?”

“You mean…no one’s…?” Famine then looked at the stack of bowls behind her. “Well, somebody ordered all this!”

“…Oh dear,” mumbled Bounty.

---

While Bounty was settling back in the Horsemen’s mansion, Richard asked to meet with Thundercracker alone. He waited for a bit until Thundercracker flew in and landed. His holo-form jumped out of the cockpit. “You wanted to see me?” he asked.

“I…I want to…” Richard sighed. He had rehearsed this, so why was it so difficult to say now? He drew in a breath and tried again. “I’m sorry, Thundercracker.” Thundercracker arched an eye-ridge in confusion.

“…For what?”

“For being unfair to you and the other Decepticons from your world. I grew up thinking all Decepticons were bad, and it was a rare universe where the Decepticons could find common ground with the Autobots, but the way you worked with Bumble…Goldbug proved me wrong. I’m sorry for what I said before the mission started. That was wrong of me and unbecoming of a commanding officer.” Thundercracker smiled.

“If it’s any consolation, I didn’t think too highly of you either. I always thought your wife was the better fighter and questioned why she married you. …Turns out you just have different fighting styles, just like the engines of Sodor have different solutions to problems.”

“…You have to admit, though, sometimes those solutions don’t work out and cause confusion and delay.”

“Maybe so, but they all have the same goal in mind, to keep Sodor as a safe haven for engines of the past, be they steam or diesel.”

“Then let’s follow their example and unite against a common foe, shall we?” Richard stuck his hand out for a handshake.

“…I know my faction’s name kind of says it all, but this is one promise this Decepticon can keep.” Thundercracker then shook Richard’s hand.

---

After a while, Richard was more at ease around other Decepticons…aside from Megatron, he STILL wasn’t sure he could forgive or forget him using Megumi as a bargaining chip. Speaking of his wife, he and Megumi stirred from their sleep. “…Morning, my love,” he whispered in Megumi’s ear. Megumi chuckled at the slight tickle she got from Richard’s breath.

“It’s morning, yes,” she replied, “but I say we take this day to stay in-” Richard then wrapped his arms around Megumi, surprising her and kissing the nape of her neck. “Richard!” she giggled.

“A whole day in bed?” he asked between kisses. “You tempt me, my Queen!” Just then, the doorbell rang. “…Then again!” growled Richard.

“I got it!” called Kaede.

“Well, better get ourselves decent,” mumbled Megumi. After showering and dressing, they found the girls and Lisa speaking with Batman and his family.

“Mr. Wayne, what can we do for you?” asked Richard.

“I noticed a…custom van continually parking in your driveway,” explained Batman. “I’ve never known any of you to drive a 2000 Dodge Grand Caravan that’s as blue as your armor. Judging from the juddering, I’d say the driver doesn’t know it has a suspension problem.”

“Ah, well, good news on that front,” said Richard. “The van’s a friendly one. You see, you have no idea how custom it is.”

“…Richard, that’s not YOUR van, is it?”

“It is,” sighed Megumi.

“Wanna see?” asked Richard as he beamed.

“…All right, color me intrigued,” replied Batman as he, Wonder Woman, and Robin got up. Richard led them to the garage. There were two vehicles in there. One was a 2001 Subaru Legacy, the other looked like a 2000 Dodge Grand Caravan, but something seemed…off to Batman and Robin upon closer inspection.

“…What…is that?” asked Robin.

“That, my dear Robin,” replied Richard, “is a van I have justifiably called…the Spectacular! The electric drive system of a Tesla with the other machinery of a Chrysler Pacifica, all united under the elegant skin of the Dodge Grand Caravan, thus creating a vision of pure…what’s the word?”

“Garbage,” said Batman and his family as they held Wonder Woman’s lasso. Richard goggled at the three in horror.

“…Okay, they have chariots instead of cars on Themyscira, so I can understand Wonder Woman saying that, but Batman and Robin, you two of all people! You’re calling the Spectacular ‘garbage’?!”

“You might be averse to chariots,” said Wonder Woman, “but at least we use brushes to apply paint instead of throwing buckets of paint on them, then just using a rag to clean up the edges.”

“Hey, Mom, Dad, look,” called Robin as she pointed out the headlights, “these are the ones that swivel when you go around a turn.”

“All right, which would you rather ride in?” challenged Richard. “The Spectacular or Megumi’s Subaru?”

“The Subaru,” replied the Bat Family.

“WHY?!”

“Because it’s better in every way,” said Batman.

“All right, I know exactly how to prove you cynics wrong! I invite you to go for a drive in the Spectacular.”

“Be careful,” warned Megumi as Batman helped his wife into the shotgun seat.

“Comfy?” asked Richard.

“Not…really,” remarked Wonder Woman. “Is this as far back as my seat can go?”

“Yes.” Batman and Robin sat behind Wonder Woman and Richard. Richard then pressed the start button and the car switched on and vibrated a bit. It then backed out of the driveway.

“Oh Hera, it moves!” yelped Robin. The Spectacular then moved onto the street and through the local area of Beyond City. After a few miles and gripes from his passengers, Richard called Megumi. A hologram of her appeared on the dash.

“How’s the drive?” she asked.

“We’d only gone a few miles,” boasted Richard, “before the Bat Family changed their mind and agreed that the Spectacular is the best car they had ever been in!”

“No, we didn’t!” protested Batman. “Stop lying to your wife!”

“I thought you guys changed your mind,” remarked Richard.

“I did,” said Wonder Woman. “It’s WORSE than I thought! My spine’s gonna complain in a few hours!”

“If you’re lucky,” grunted Batman.

“Exactly.”

“It’s a little cold here,” muttered Robin. “Can we turn the heater on?”

“That’s not connected,” said Richard.

“What’s the dial near the steering wheel?” asked Wonder Woman.

“Speedometer.”

“Why don’t you use the one it already has?” quizzed Batman.

“That doesn’t work.”

“Does it have a temperature gauge?” asked Robin.

“Not as such.”

“Does it have a fuel gauge?”

“Not really.”

“There’s a lot of wires that aren’t connected to things then,” muttered Batman.

“This doesn’t really have an interior, does it?” asked Robin.

“Persephone, you say that with a bit of sarcasm, but…” Wonder Woman then pointed inside the glove box. It didn’t have an inside to speak of, so one could see the internal mechanics of the van.

“I can see the road!” complained Robin.

“So can I,” said Richard.

“No, there’s a hole in the floor!” Suffice to say, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Robin were NOT impressed by Richard’s Spectacular.

The two ships returned to Beyond City’s shipyards. Everyone departed the ships and were greeted with cheers when the crowd met them. Batman shook hands with Gandalf and they both introduced Wonder Woman and Galadriel to one another. The Elf and Amazon seemed to hit it off. “That rope compels anyone to tell the truth?” Galadriel asked Wonder Woman.

“A gift from the gods of my people,” replied Wonder Woman. “Unfortunately, it’s considered a polygraph and any evidence taken from that won’t be admissible in court.”

“…Sounds rather counterintuitive.”

“Sadly, can’t change a man’s mind that easily, especially when they’re in charge of more than half the world.”

“That IS true.”

---

As the Elf Lady and Amazon Princess spoke, Batman and Gandalf shook hands. “Thanks for joining up again,” said Batman.

“My pleasure, Mr. Wayne,” replied Gandalf. “So, you and Wonder Woman married and had a child.”

“Persephone, the current Robin.”

“How big IS your family, just out of curiosity?”

“The biggest in Gotham. Gotta say, I think I prefer you in gray robes.”

“I’d feel better if I had my hat, but the only color they had was gray instead of blue.”

---

Death grinned as she found Bounty. The two Horsemen hugged each other tightly. “It’s been too long!” whispered Death.

“So Vortech’s been beaten, I hear,” said Bounty. “Chaos has been avenged.”

“We had to find a new Chaos quickly, though. Frankly, a little too quickly.”

“Let me guess, it’s someone from the Thanatos line in that universe where everyone has yellow skin and an overbite.”

“She doesn’t look like that anymore.”

“Really?”

“Really. In fact, here she is now.” Lacey arrived and bowed her head to Bounty.

“Welcome home, Bounty,” she said.

“And what was your name, Chaos?” asked Bounty.

“Oh, I still go by my usual name. I’m Lacey Thanatos Atmadja.”

“Really?” Bounty grinned. “You’ve settled in well as the new Chaos.”

“Big shoes to fill.”

“You wear them well.”

“Ah, Lacey, there you are!” called Anansi’s voice. “I just need to-” Anansi stopped when he saw Bounty.

“Of course. The spider has to be involved in the behind-the-scenes work!”

“YOU?!” yelped Anansi. “Lacey, please tell me you aren’t bringing the Horsemen of Flourishment here! PLEASE tell me that!”

“Well, yes. We’ve updated the security of this universe, so we’re bringing them here.”

“If you and your friends had half the sense you pretend to have, you’d get them out of here at once and leave their Sources here! If you like,” Anansi then turned into a giant spider, “I’d be more than pleased to expedite their departure!” Bounty raised her hands as if she were going to fling fireballs.

“Hold on, no one’s leaving!” protested Lacey as she got between them.

“Their presence here,” urged Anansi, “is the biggest security risk!”

“That’s not your decision to make!”

“ANANSI!” called Richard. The spider looked at Richard. “We said we’d get the Sources of Flourishment here, that also included their respective Horsemen. Why didn’t you raise any objections when Life was brought here?”

“Life’s here too?!” asked Bounty.

“She’s at our mansion right now,” explained Lacey. “I can-” Bounty then breezed past Lacey and Anansi in the general direction of the Horsemen’s mansion. “…I guess not.”

“Lacey,” said Anansi as he returned to his human-ish shape, “I REALLY urge you to get her out of here.”

“Your advice is noted, Trickster,” replied Lacey. She then left Anansi to his thoughts.

---

As he was being congratulated, Richard noticed something odd. “…Somebody’s missing,” he muttered.

“What’s that, Daddy?” asked Kaitlyn.

“I said somebody’s missing.” Kaitlyn then looked around.

“…Where’s Mom?”

“That’s who’s missing!”

“Someone asking for Mama?” asked Kaede as she strolled up.

“Kaede, where’s your mother?” quizzed Richard.

“She’s back home, talking on the phone with Ms. Nonsu.”

“That’s my old boss’s secretary. What does she want with her?”

“Actually, she wanted to talk to you personally.”

“Me?” Richard was a little worried now. “Let’s get home then.” They took Kaede’s car and made their way home. Richard then dashed into the house and found Megumi on the house phone.

“Ah!” she said to the caller. “The man you want to talk to has just arrived.” Megumi then handed the phone to Richard. “Ms. Nonsu for the man of the house,” she said.

“Thank you,” replied Richard as he took the phone. He then spoke to the caller. “Hello, Ms. Nonsu. How are you today? …That’s good to hear. …Oh, I’m fine as well. Just saved a universe as usual. …Yes, I’d like to know why you called. …Oh, that rat’s fired? Good riddance. So, who’s your-? …YOU?! You’re in charge of MNN?! That’s wonderful! …Hold on, that means you need a- …Oh, you have one in-? …ME?! But I was-! …That’s three times what I was-! …Well, if you REALLY think I’m worth that much…all right, I accept! When can I get the additional training? …Well, I just finished a mission and teams without me will be saving other universes for the foreseeable future. …Wednesday morning, it is, then! See you then! Bye bye!” Richard hung up, then punched the air! “HEAD ANCHOR, BABY!” he cheered.

“I had a feeling your luck would turn for the better,” chuckled Megumi.

“Daddy, did MNN rehire you?” asked Kaitlyn. Lisa then came into the room.

“What’s going on?” she quizzed.

“My dears, the matriarch of the house already knew about the details, so it pleases me to fill the rest of you in,” said Richard. “MNN’s board of directors were a bit alarmed at their station’s sudden change from actual news to Khan-centric propaganda, so they went down to the station and fired all of Khan’s supporters and had Ms. Nonsu take over as the one running the place. She hired some new people, even an anchor to fill my old timeslot. The reason for that is because she wants me to be trained as Head Anchor for MNN and, in her words, ‘put MNN’s fact-checking abilities back on track’. This new job comes with a salary triple to what I used to make. To sum up, the one man in this house…is back among the working crowd.”

“And with Ms. Nonsu at the helm, MNN will be the shining example of news broadcasting it once was!” cheered Megumi.

“Thank you all for your help,” continued Richard. “I don’t know what I did to deserve this family, but I thank whatever gods are out there that we’re together now.”

“Well, Emily DID kind of get a bit pushy.”

“Don’t tell her that, she’s got a big enough head as it is.” Richard and Megumi then wrapped each other in a hug and kissed. Kaede opened her mouth to object to how blatant they were being, but Kaitlyn put her hand on her sister’s shoulder, shaking her head and pulling her out of the room.