Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms Cast

Feymay

Queen Feymay Felompha, on top of being Queen of the entire Over-realm, is also a member of the Wysper City Hooded Artist’s Guild, swearing an oath to keep her head covered and create as much artwork as she can. She’s the one who carried Lardeth in her womb. At age 13,087, she’s known as one of the more free-spirited women of the Felomphas. Happily married to 7 other Zephyr women and an Elf man, you can always find her at her easel.

Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms Cast

Elgrad

The King of the Entire Mid-realm himself, Elgrad Royana is very dedicated to his job and his family. He’s Hanako’s husband and Arsha’s father, actually, more than just a father, he’s definitley a dad, making sure he was active in raising Arsha with Hanako. He’s 7,799 right now and rules the Mid-realm from his home, the Mid-realm capital of Largandra. One flaw he has, his grasp of color theory is…not so good, especially when it comes to clothes.

Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms Cast

Termaf, Tufarmem, and Yunfeen

The Feisty Felansi Forsorna Family, the 4 F’s, is a nomadic family of entertainers whose acts consist of singing, comedy sketches, fashion designing, modeling, and their specialty, Felansi Dancing, much like Flamenco Dancing. They are divided into 10 groups with colors matching the Divine Ones and each generation is a mix of those born in the caravan (Caravan Babies) and those that married into the family (Welcomed Outsiders). While the groups are easiest to keep track of the family, there’s no rule saying you can’t mix and match with spouses and the Forsornas are ALWAYS encouraged to have lots of spouses. These three ladies are well known for their comedy acts, so we shall meet them from left to right.

Termaf Forsorna is the 302 Succubus in purple. She’s a Caravan Baby and usually writes the scripts for the trio’s comedy sketches. As her dress indicates, she’s a part of the Plentiful Purples.

Tufarmem Forsorna is a 307 year old Zephyr who is a Welcomed Outsider and became a Beautiful Blue. She’s the one who schedules rehearsals for her group’s acts.

The 304 year old human, Yunfeen Forsorna, is actually Malnar’s younger sister. Her marriage into the 4 F’s caused a slight stir, but she was declared a Welcomed Outsider and joined the Ravishing Reds. She mainly tends to the trio’s advertising front.

Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms (Book 3: The First Strike)

3 Realms 3-28

The day of Elmpam’s sermon had arrived. Arsha, her lovers, Elmar and Calandra, Elmpam’s family, King Lektem and Tegnar, Lady Gramfar, one of the five Green Divine Ones of Earth, and many other people were in the pews as Elmpam went through with her sermon. “We always seek answers from the Divine Ones,” she preached, “but what good is it if they simply hand us the answers? How do we learn? Remember that Lord Glaktem once said that our discoveries of how the Realms work are what improve the Realms, and I see evidence of that every day. More often than not, our prejudice is made less when we discover the answer ourselves than if Lord Slameek tells us how the waves work or if Lady Alpira hands us the answer on why casting a curse feels like your soul is freezing. And thus, we all must remember that our Pantheon, like parents, would want us to find things out for ourselves. We are all children of the Divine Ones, from the first species that went extinct to the ones that rise up today, and we must make them proud by finding the answers ourselves. Let us also remember that even we have surprised the Divine Ones at various points in time. The most famous incident that leaps to my mind is when Lady Gramfar heard the news about Blenders. She thought it impossible for different species to be together and create hybrid children, yet Blenders are such a common sight now. With that, I would like to finish with this prayer.” All the churchgoers declined their heads and closed their eyes. “Divine Lords and Ladies, bless us with continuing to expand our knowledge and keeping our sense of wonder alive. Amen.”

“Amen,” repeated the church. Elmpam then looked to Lady Gramfar.

“My Divine Green Lady, do you wish to add something?”

“Only my prayer for you all,” replied Gramfar. “Bless us with continual surprises, because they make the Realms better.”

“We’ll certainly do so,” chuckled Elmpam.

“What tripe!” called a voice. Gramfar’s face contorted into a snarl.

“WHO DARES?!” she bellowed as she whirled towards the back of the church.

I dare!” barked the voice’s owner. It was a damaged Oltor. “I may be no fan of Oyed, but he IS right about one thing!”

“And what would that be, O Wayward Child?!” challenged Gramfar.

“The Realms are too messy as they stand!”

“Your Majesties, My Divine Lady, could you get everyone out?” asked Elmpam. “I must deal with Oltor.”

“Mama, you’re gonna get hurt!” protested Malnar.

“That IS a possibility,” conceded Elmpam. “However, I’m bound by my morals to stop him and I don’t want anyone else’s pain on my conscience.”

“…Be careful, my child,” urged Gramfar. She and the Kings then herded everyone out through the back, leaving Elmpam at the altar and Oltor at the door. They both then strode down the aisle.

“You’re better than this, Oltor!” growled Elmpam.

“Even parents need to let their children go!” replied Oltor. “The Divine Ones and Oyed can’t grasp that we don’t need them! Their fight fractured a perfect world! Now look where we are! Thieves, rapists, murderers, black magic being used in the Over-realm, and the Final War’s gonna start soon! That’s the trouble with fighting for diversity, we lose sight of where we came from!”

“And killing Out-realmers will make us remember? First Lektem’s dad, now this? When does it stop?”

“When the other Realms understand that the Over-realm is superior in its attitudes! When they understand that light MUST triumph over darkness, the two can’t be balanced! We want the same thing, Elmpam!”

“You misunderstand what I want. When I first came to the Under-realm, I once believed that their use of dark magic was too liberal. I really did. I got over that prejudice when I discovered how many steps one needs to memorize to cast a curse. There are actually so many opportunities not to go down that path and Under-realmers take them, they’re not the all-necromancer society you think they are!”

“Your best friend and name mate died by an Incubus’ hands!”

“And, for a while, I wanted to avenge Elmpam Roosheef’s murder. I really did. I wanted to kill that Incubus so bad, but it’s not the life she would want me to lead and this isn’t the life your wife and son want you to lead.”

“Don’t you DARE put that on me!” Oltor was about to swing his clenched fist when Elmpam pulled a metal cylinder out of her dress’s waistline. “…A TNG?”

“To block your powers and level the playing field. Your ability to talk someone to death IS magic based. You need to stop. Take time to learn before it’s too late.”

“You wouldn’t dare set that thing off!” Elmpam wasn’t bluffing. She pressed a button on the TNG and dropped it. The button flashed before the whole thing exploded, knocking the two Inus back. TNG, short for Thaumic Nullifier Grenade, designed to temporarily block any magical abilities. Unfortunately, it doesn’t differentiate between people, so both Inus lost their powers. They got up and Oltor snarled as he tore pieces of the pews off and twirled them like stakes. “You’re supposed to be my sister!”

“Which is why I have to stop you.” Elmpam took off her skirts, leaving her in nothing more than her bodice and pantaloons, and grabbed a candelabra, twirling it like a staff. Oltor roared in rage and charged at Elmpam. Elmpam swung the candelabra and kept him at a distance. She then threw a non-lit candle at Oltor’s eye, but Oltor rolled out of the way and threw his stakes. They buried themselves into a pair of Elmpam’s arms, and she yelped in pain. He then dashed forward and drove an uppercut into her jaw. Elmpam tried to shake off the pain, but Oltor slammed her head into a column. Elmpam then noticed a cloth near her and grabbed it. She then swung her tail into Oltor’s face, getting some loose fur into his eyes, and he howled in agony as he tried to get the fur out. Elmpam then got behind him and got the cloth around his neck before she grabbed both ends in one hand and pulled hard. Oltor then slammed Elmpam into walls in an attempt to get her off before he passed out. He gasped and panted until…he fell, unconscious. Elmpam checked his heartbeat, sighed in relief when she heard it, then looked mournfully at him as the sentence for what he did was death. “…I’m sorry.” She then used the cloth to bind his arms, then got another cloth to muzzle his mouth. Gramfar and Arsha with her lovers dashed into the church to see how the fight ended. It was then Elmpam felt the pain of the stakes in her arms again. Gramfar and Malnar dashed over to her and cast pain-numbing spells while Arsha called for a prisoner pick-up. Officers and medics arrived at the church as Oltor was waking up. The officers picked him up roughly and fear took over his heart. He knew what was coming.


The next day, Roolpam was pleading with the Kings to mitigate Oltor’s sentence, but they were deaf to her pleas. “Your Majesties, please! I’m his mother!” she wailed.

“He was disowned by your family, according to official records,” reminded Lektem.

“He has personally killed 429 people in his bloody career,” supplied Tegnar, “one of them being Lektem’s father.”

“He has also attacked other monarchs, Fae Empress Rellmeer being the most famous.”

“We’re sorry, Mrs. Tonsur, but Oltor is to be hanged tomorrow.”

“Please, I beg you!” pleaded Roolpam. “He’s let grief dictate his actions!”

“His mistake,” hissed Tegnar. “We had a report saying that Rentir’s house had been destroyed in an explosion and a bomb’s remains were discovered amongst the wreckage, on top of Rentir and Glanfu’s dead bodies. We may not like Rentir, but killing him disrupted elections, another capital offense.”

“Your Majesties!” begged Roolpam.

“We do not wish to detain you with a futile effort!” Lektem pointed towards the throne room’s door, meaning that they were certain of their decision. Roolpam’s tail drooped as did her head. She left the throne room in a somber manner.


Because of his threat level, all Over-realm monarchs attended the execution, as did Oltor’s family. The gallows stood in the center of the execution yard and awaited a person to choke out their breath. Oltor was dragged to the gallows and was held near the noose. “Hear ye, all in attendance!” called a robed man. “Let it be known that on this 1497th day of Rafem in the 4006300080th year of the Three Realms’ Third Age of Unity, Over-Splitter Supreme Oltor Tonsur is found guilty of the following charges: mass-murder, destruction of Multi-realm facilities, attacking Realmfleet, and disruption of politics. Let it be known that the judges have deemed he is too dangerous to be kept alive! Let it be known that he is to be hanged until dead by a former accomplice of his so the Realms may rest easier! Let it be known that none in attendance are to discuss what happens here unless at the Felomphas’ discretion! Your Majesties, will you follow the judges’ recommendation?”

“We have spoken and have agreed that we shall heed the judges,” replied one of Lardeth’s moms, Queen Jeefef Felompha. “Who is the former associate of the Condemned?”

“A Mermaid that has had her trial, Halfam Malfee,” answered the robed man. Oltor’s eyes goggled as Halfam, in her human form, strode towards the gallows.

“You?!” snarled Oltor.

“Me,” confirmed Halfam.

“Let it be known,” called the robed man, “that, because of Halfam Malfee actively mitigating the damage the Over-Splitters have done and proving repentance of being part of a terrorist organization, her sentence is temporary banishment from the Over-realm. If the Final War does not begin, she will live somewhere else for 100 years. If it does and she proves bravery, she will return sooner. Before that, she has requested to be the one to carry out the execution.” Oltor fixed Halfam with a look of burning hatred as the noose went around his neck and was tightened. “Has the Condemned any final words?”

“Halfam Malfee, you are a traitorous fish!” snarled Oltor.

“And you’re a cousin-banging freak!” replied Halfam as her hand went onto the lever. She turned to the robed man. “I am ready!”

“Hang him!” called the robed man. Halfam pulled the lever and the trapdoor beneath Oltor opened. The noose tightened further and Oltor flailed as he tried to get air into his lungs. That futile battle lasted about 11 minutes before he stopped moving. An Inu doctor moved towards the gallows and checked Oltor’s breathing and pulse.

“…It is done,” pronounced the doctor. The silence was deafening as the yard emptied and Oltor’s body was removed from the noose and taken to the morgue.

Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms (Book 3: The First Strike)

3 Realms 3-27

“And thus…” floundered Elmpam a few mornings before her sermon. “…And thus…” She then growled to herself before sitting on the bed and looking at her notes. “… ‘And thus, we all must remember that our Pantheon, like parents, would want us to find things out for ourselves.’ Why in the Depths can’t I remember that line?! I wrote the damn thing!”

“THEY CAN’T BE SERIOUS!” howled Lensarn’s voice.

“Daddy?” asked Elmpam. She left the room and went downstairs to see Lensarn and Roolpam in the kitchen. Lensarn was ranting and holding a newspaper while Roolpam checked on breakfast. “Daddy, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?! Our kingdom’s people, that’s what’s wrong!” ranted Lensarn. “Look at the polls!” He handed Elmpam the newspaper and she saw the section concerning the upcoming election for the Coliamdii Kingdom’s new Prime Minister, the right hand of the Royal Family. Elmpam’s eyes went wide as she saw the results.

“Rentir’s a candidate?!” she yelped. “And he’s the people’s choice?! The guy’s a face-eating leopard!”

“No kidding!” agreed Lensarn as he helped Roolpam set the table.

“I can understand that we all need to be diverse,” supplied Roolpam, “but I hardly see how enforcing diversity makes it appealing.”

“Exactly!” agreed Elmpam.

“Elmpam, maybe you can convince our Kings to not let Rentir into office?” asked Lensarn.

“Daddy, you KNOW the All-realm Constitution forbids me from doing that.”

“But you’re from the Coliamdii Kingdom!”

“I’m considered an Under-realm Royal now. I help Orbak rule a foreign Realm and Article 7 expressly states that Royals of a foreign country or Realm may not interfere in another’s politics. I’m sorry, but my vote no longer has weight.”

“…Dammit!” swore Lensarn.

“Hey, guys!” called Malnar’s currently sunny voice. She bounded into the kitchen. “Did you catch the latest?!” she asked.

“…On what?” asked Roolpam.

“That mermaid we found and discovered to be an Over-Splitter!” answered Malnar, referring to Halfam. “She’s given up the secret base and all Over-Splitter secrets!”

“You’re kidding!” gasped Lensarn, his mood brightening.

“Get a load of this!” Malnar pulled out a newspaper, the All-Realm Times, and displayed the headline. “Over-Splitters now smashed!” He then read the article explaining that, last night, after being identified and turned over to police custody, former Mermaid Over-Splitter, Halfam Malfee, revealed that Oltor was planning a two-person assassination attempt on the Kings of the Coliamdii Kingdom. Thanks to her cooperation, their base and arsenal was found and all data relating to the attack was unlocked. Given light of this turn of events, and that Halfam only acted as a spy and actively mitigated the damage the Over-Splitters had done, the police were pushing for a lighter sentence. When asked why she did that, she had said that she only joined because she was taken in by lies that it was an Out-realmer who killed her parents and she only discovered the truth that it was Oltor himself who did the deed because they were top diplomats that brought ideas from other cultures into the Over-realm.

“Well,” mused Roolpam after she and Lensarn read the article, “I suppose that’s a mercy.”

“How did she get past the weaponized conversation?” asked Lensarn.

“… ‘Weaponized conversation’?” repeated Malnar.

“Oltor has an ability where he can literally talk a person to death,” explained Roolpam. “Pretentious sounding, yes, but he can modulate the timbre of his voice so it falls into step with the listener’s heart and then, by gradually lowering his voice, he could eventually coax the heart into stopping.”

“…Yeah, definitely glad I haven’t met him.”


Over in Rentir’s house, Rentir stirred from his bed and yawned. He figured it was another day, another gold for him. He got up from his bed and made his way to his wife’s hammock. His wife, Glanfu, was a Drider from the Under-realm and preferred sleeping in hammocks. She snored peacefully, but loudly. Still, Rentir slept well, he was a deep sleeper. He lightly stroked Glanfu’s hair before heading to his closet and putting a bath robe on. It was his turn to make breakfast and he had an idea in mind. He then went downstairs to the kitchen and found Oltor at the table. “…You DO know you’re a wanted man, old friend,” muttered Rentir.

“Have you seen the latest polls?” asked Oltor as he looked at the newspaper. “Looks like the people want you to be our new Prime Minister.”

“I wouldn’t bet against me.” Rentir headed to the coffee maker.

“No, it wouldn’t be prudent.” As Rentir started the coffee, Oltor continued. “I want you to understand something, Rentir; although my current hatred for you over betraying the Over-Splitters is enough to make Oyed fear me, what I’m about to do is impersonal.”

“What are you babbling about?” Rentir continued showing his back to Oltor and kept his gaze fixed on the coffee pot’s usual area. Knife block, coffee pot, mugs, potholders, they all rested in their usual place.

“Everything that exists has a specific nature. Each entity exists as something in particular and has characteristics that are a part of what it is. ‘Fam’ is ‘Fam’. And, no matter what he does, ‘Rentir’ is ‘Rentir’. If I’m to save the Over-realm from the evils of the other Realms, you and your wife’s existence must come to an end before you approach the Kings with your election petition.”

“You’re going to kill us and give your usual speech that diversity is hollowing out the Over-realm’s morals?”

“I live up to my name’s meaning. I’m a soldier of purity and am dedicated to spreading purity across the Over-realm.” By this point, Oltor had pulled out a garrot wire.

“Interesting plan. Unfortunately for you…it’s not really an option, neither is using a trick I had taught you against me.” Rentir grabbed a knife from the block, held it in a grip so the blade ran parallel to his arm, then turned and slashed upwards, slicing the wire in two and cutting Oltor’s muzzle. Oltor yelped and backed into the table, touching the wound and drawing his hand back to see his blood on his fingers. The commotion caused Glanfu to wake up and scurry downstairs to see the whole altercation.

“Rentir, are you all right?!” she asked.

“Better than Oltor right now,” replied Rentir. “He tried to talk me to death.” He then blocked Oltor’s punch and slashed across his chest. Oltor stumbled backwards as he drew in a breath and covered the wound. The cut only scratched the surface of the skin under his fur, but the spread made it look a lot worse. “Prime Minister?” scoffed Rentir. “That would mean my wife’s talents would be overlooked, she would have been reduced to a trophy wife!” He then slammed the knife’s handle into Oltor’s eye. “Prime Minister? Foolish Cousin Fornicator! My campaign is a sham! A better way to observe the culmination of Dr. Borg’s research!” He then grabbed Oltor’s head and drove his knee into his opponent’s chest. “Prime Minister? Do you know how much power I’d have to give up to be the Kings’ Prime Minister?” He then slapped Oltor a few times, then threw him over the table. “Tell me, did you ever wonder how those assassins even found your wife and son?” Oltor’s single good eye went wide when he started putting two and two together. “That’s right, and I chose my insult carefully. I looked through medical records before you joined the Over-Splitters and noticed that your wife was your cousin on your mother’s side! You two brought an inbred monster into the Realms! That’s why I’m so determined to enforce diversity! When I heard you had joined the Over-Splitters, I decided that I needed a safer place to observe the experiment, so I turned myself in and gave up the location of the base! After that, I was granted amnesty as a Sheriff and made sure to funnel the money I had taken from you lot and put it into my campaign.”

“Ex…periment?” strained Oltor.

“Experiment, auditions,” remarked Glanfu, “whatever flies your skyship. We wanted to prove to Dr. Borg that we were worthy to join her cause and she approved, saying we could even become Revenants if we ever died.”

“And the chance of having a child would still be there,” continued Rentir. “We witnessed a Revenant and a Live One give birth, as well as two Revenants! With the Revenant/Live One Blenders, the child’s dominant traits are the Revenant ones.”

“You mean…this whole thing…!” gasped Oltor in pain.

“That’s right, old friend!” laughed Rentir as he hoisted Oltor up by the neck. “I spent 95 million golds, from the Over-Splitters’ coffers to my pocket, on a fake Prime Minister Campaign, all just to see you go mad!” Oltor then head-butted Rentir and dashed around trap lines Glanfu had laid down so he could escape. Glanfu then tended to her husband as he steadied himself. It was then that the two heard beeping.


Oltor was a good distance away before the explosion engulfed the house. Given its remote location, rescue crews couldn’t get there in time to save Rentir and Glanfu Ental. Oltor howled to mark that the architects of his wife and son’s death were dead. He then dashed away.

Categories
Weaver's Journey

Weaver’s Journey 1

I sat in my chair at my desk, ready to make another story. My fingers hovered over the keyboard…but nothing came to them. No words, no sentences, no letters, they all just blurred out, forcing me to get up and try to act out the scene. It still ended up a jumbled mess. I sighed. No ideas were coming to me tonight. I then heard a knock on the door upstairs. “Oh, for the love of…!” I groaned as I went upstairs. If it was a solicitor, I was gonna strip down to my birthday suit and scare the s*** out of them! What stopped me? The guy dressed like Vegeta of Dragonball fame. I opened the door. “Nice costume,” I remarked. “What brings you here?”

“Come on, you know already,” replied the guy, sounding EXACTLY like Vegeta.

“Look, I’m not the most social guy,” I explained, “so I don’t know where Comic Con is. I can certainly look it up for you.”

“I’m not looking for a convention,” dismissed the guy. “You reached the milestone, so ask me.”

“Ask you what?” I quizzed.

“You ARE Optimusthemobian on DeviantArt, right?” asked the guy.

“…How did you piece that together?” I demanded, a little scared.

“I’m an alien, I know things,” answered the guy. “Look, we all know your pageview count, so, go on. Ask me.”

“My…pageview count?” I asked.

“…Do you REALLY not know your pageviews?!” yelped the guy.

“What are you…?!” I replied before something hit me on the back of the head, making me black out.


When I came to, so did the guy. We were in some sort of web cocoon. Another guy in a black cape and dark-colored armor was working a machine. “All right, I didn’t consent to this cheap James Bond-esque villain trope!”

“I didn’t ask for your consent, twerp,” replied the second guy. I then realized the voice sounded like…mine! The second guy turned around and it was like I was looking in a mirror, albeit, a dark one.

“…Mirror universe?” I asked.

“Not totally,” replied my double. “Just an alternate path for YOU specifically.”

“So, what, did the Terran Empire need to research alternate universes to get a leg up on the competition?” I joked.

“You barely speak to anyone in real life,” growled my double, “and yet, you love the sound of your voice!”

“That’s what makes me lovable!” I chuckled.

“As opposed to you writing fanfic day in and day out that no one cares about?!” argued my double.

“Hey, I have people faving my stories!” I countered, feeling attacked.

“Worthless bots!” dismissed my double. “You call yourself the navigator of Anansi’s web, yet your major fanfic, one that you completed, is just a mere retelling of a video game!” That struck a little too close to home. “Oh, that touched a nerve, didn’t it? I will say this, at least you were honest about saying that on your page. Why do you still cling to your childhood treasures?! Because remembering the simplicity of the past makes you stronger! Remembering how it was so easy back then and desiring to bring that into the present day makes you more powerful! You’re just like me! The only difference is I became something worthwhile; the ruler of my world!”

“You? Conquer?” I asked.

“Manipulate all the governments into hating each other, and they will kill one another,” replied my double. “The U.S. President was the easiest to manipulate, given that orangutan’s predilection to spew hatred.” No change from my universe’s version of him. “Then came Russia, then China, then the U.K. and so on and so forth. Eventually, Earth’s population shrank from 7.7 billion to 147.8 million. More land for the people, more chance for animals to spring back, and more chance for the forests to grow to their full splendor. Each nation spent over a trillion dollars in weapons. I denied them that indulgence. The money is now used to suppress hunger, disease, poverty, all the problems that plagued us. Our ozone layer is now stronger than ever. We now use cleaner sources of energy, keeping all fossil based fuels as a last resort. The poorest person in the poorest country can pay off a very decent car and pay their house off in a reasonable time. My world is in a golden age, the likes of which has never been seen before!”

“With your flunkies controlling the masses and you controlling the flunkies!” I snapped.

“Is that really so bad in the long run?!” argued my double. “People need a clear idea of who’s in charge! The system America functions on has each area of the government blaming one another and never getting anything done! Laws can be passed or vetoed by the President and yet Congress can override that decision and, just to muddy the waters more, the Supreme Court is wrapped up in cases concerning such weakness that last for years and leave the people to fight amongst themselves! Under my rule, people know who made the laws, why they were made, and how they can best obey! True unity!”

“What about unity’s other half, freedom?!” I shouted.

“There are those starving who would rather have food than freedom,” replied my double.

“You’re talking as if they’re mutually exclusive!” I protested.

“They ARE,” answered my double. “Vegeta can attest to that.” He pointed to the guy I thought was a cosplayer.

“You mean, you’re…” I gulped, realizing who it was.

“…Did you think I was a mere fanboy?!” snarled Vegeta.

“A dense idiot,” remarked my double. “I have an empire under my command while you sit in your grandparents’ basement writing worthless drivel.”

“We’ll see if it’s worthless!” I challenged. “Why tell me all this?”

“Because I need to make sure there’s only ONE of us in this universe,” explained my double. “Back home, my conquest of the planet was swift! Quick! Easy! …I gained little satisfaction.”

“So you’re here to do it again, but a little slower?” I scoffed.

“Yes,” confirmed my double.

“…I’m getting some Atop the Fourth Wall vibes here,” I remarked.

“There’s never enough time before you shut up, is there, you annoying retard?!” snarled my double.

“Oh, A**hole,” I hissed, “that’s the wrong thing to call me!” I then burst out of the cocoon and leapt onto my double. He yelped and shoved me off. “Besides, if you’re my double, don’t YOU have autism too?!”

“Unimportant to me!” argued my double. Unlike me, this guy could hit hard. Vegeta managed to break out of his cocoon by going Super Saiyan and swung a punch at the guy who effortlessly caught it. “Did you seriously learn nothing?” he muttered as he tossed the Saiyan Prince aside. “There you are, Prince of all THREE Saiyans and their hybrid children, and he’s nothing more than a ragdoll against me.”

“Well, ain’t YOU a Mary-Sued up villain?” I snarked. He grabbed my neck and flung me aside.

“I take what power I need,” he scoffed. “Look at you. You never conquered, never fought, never took the initiative, you drifted throughout your life. My life is in focus. You claim to be a disciple of Anansi when, in all truth, that spider is under my command. Anansi, kill him. …Anansi? …Anansi, your master…” Big mistake! He doubled over in pain as he clutched his foot. Angry fang marks were evident on his ankle. The offending creature that delivered the bite was a mechanical spider, roughly the size of a belt buckle. “ANANSI, YOU JUDAS!” shouted my double. The mechanical spider turned to face him.

“You can’t keep me under your heel forever, Enslaver!” it hissed in a thick Ghana accent. “You tried to take the Stories from me, a poor error in judgement! They’re called Anansesem (spider stories) for a reason!” The spider, the African Story Keeper, Anansi then leapt onto my waist and moved his legs to the side, causing a belt strap to form. Some handle-like device then appeared on the right side of my waist. It had two buttons on top and two triggers on the grip. “You ARE a Kamen Rider fan, right?” asked Anansi. I then saw where this was going.

“Hey! Mirror-me!” I called. My double then got up, frothing with rage. “Get a load of this!” I held the device to my mouth.

“What’s the word?!” called Anansi.

“Henshin!” I announced. I then pressed the buttons on top, making the device split in half. I then plugged the halves underneath Anansi’s legs with the triggers facing down. Anansi temporarily jumped off the belt and wove a cocoon around me while I made a spider with my hands, my thumbs near my face. The suit formed and I threw my fists to the side, breaking the cocoon as Anansi returned to the belt. A HUD showed what I looked like on the outside. My two eyes were split into four to evoke a spider’s eyes. I had a pair of legs going above my head and a pair of legs reaching my actual legs. Coattails resembled spinnerets and my mouthplate evoked a spider’s mouth. “Oh, I very much LIKE!” I chuckled.

“Fancy armor won’t save you!” dismissed my double.

“I think it will, in this case!” I argued. “You face Kamen Rider Weaver, the author of your defeat!” I tried to make a cool pose.

“…I think the Ginyu Force auditions are that way!” laughed Vegeta as he pointed behind my house.

“OH SHUT UP!” I protested.

“And that catchphrase, UGH!” groaned Anansi.

“You zip it too!” I snapped.

“Uh, HELLO?! FIGHT?!” shouted my double. Vegeta joined me as we took a defensive stance. My double took out a device similar to the one that I used to change. He then spoke into it. “Belua!” (Beast!) he announced. He then split the device into two and jabbed them into his pectorals. They sunk into him and he turned into a monstrous, humanoid spider! He then charged at us while we rolled out of the way and delivered a kick to his backside. He swung wildly with his arms, hoping to hit us. “WHERE?!” he bellowed when he missed us. “WHERE ARE YOU?!”

“What’s his deal?” asked Vegeta. “He’s got quadruple the eyes a human does.”

“He’s based off of a tarantula,” I observed. “Their eyesight is very poor. They hunt via vibration. Considered by scientists to be one of the least evolved spiders on Earth. My suit, on the other hand, is based off of more advanced spiders. Excellent eyesight, web-weaving, impressive speed and jumping power, it’s all here!”

“You won’t be boasting about it for long!” shouted my monstrous double. “You win, and you’d have nothing! No one even remembers your DA page!”

“I’m connected to it now!” I argued. “My pageview count begs to differ. I know why Vegeta came here! So, let’s get that meme out of the way! Vegeta, what does the scouter say about my pageview count?” Vegeta checked his scouter, then held it in his hand.

“IT’S OVER NINE THOUSAAAND!” he shouted as he crushed the scouter.

“Way over that, if I’m reading this correctly!” I supplied, stunning my double. “19,276 at last count, with 677 deviations, 42 journals, and 30 people watching me!”

“THAT’S NOT TRUE!” argued my double. “YOU DID NOTHING SPECTACULAR! HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY HAVE ANY FANS?!”

“That’s the thing,” I replied, “being a conqueror tends to turn people away from you in the long run. An artist, on the other hand, one who creates, they tend to be more popular!” My double screamed in rage, unable to accept that I did anything worthwhile in my life. “True,” I continued, “my anatomy needs work and I could use the occasional brush-up on grammar, but I still enjoy what I do! Assholes like you are NOTHING to me!” That set him off as he charged at us.

“Kid, out of the way!” shouted Vegeta as he shoved me aside. “GALICK GUN, FIRE!” He fired off his Galick Gun and hit my double square in the chest. I rotated a dial on Anansi’s rear to an image of a hornet’s nest.

“MMOBORO BLASTER!” he called. A gun evoking a hornet’s nest appeared in my hand as I fired. The shots went into my double’s exoskeleton and he started writhing in pain.

“GET THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!” he squealed. “I’M ON FIRE!” Not true, but the Mmoboro hornets had stings that acted like red-hot needles. I then turned the dial to a python’s image. 

“ONINI SABER!” called Anansi. A sword shaped like a python replaced the gun. I pressed a button on the sword’s hilt and it became a thick whip. I swung it and it wrapped around my double, squeezing him. His exoskeleton cracked and fell, as did his real shape. He then pressed a button on his arm and surrounded himself in a nasty purple aura before slamming his fists into me and Vegeta. I turned the dial to the image of a leopard. “OSEBO CLAWS!” announced Anansi as my sword was replaced with clawed gloves in a leopard pattern. I pressed a button on the dial, indicating that I wanted my current weapon to stay while I used another. I then turned the dial to a small fairy in traditional Ghana dress. “MMOATIA CLOAK!” called Anansi. I turned invisible to my double.

“WHERE?! WHERE?!”

“Right behind you!” I replied in a French accent as my claws raked across his back. I pressed the dial’s button again, cancelling my invisibility and claws while I pressed the triggers on the handles of my belt.

“FINAL STRIKE!” shouted Anansi. I leapt into the air, then fired a rope of silk from my palms, making sure they were on either side of my double. I went higher, making the ropes go taut. “SPIDER BREAK!” called Anansi as I pulled, making me fall at an incredible rate. My foot impacted with my double and I landed behind him. The armor he wore exploded. I decided to follow the ‘Cool Guys Never Look at Explosions’ rule. He fell to the ground, breathing heavily and in pain.

“I’ll take him back,” remarked Vegeta.

“Really?” I asked. “How do you intend to accomplish that?”

“‘A portal then opened behind me, surprising both of us,’” answered Anansi.

“…What?” I quizzed. Vegeta was just as confused. A portal then opened behind me, surprising both of us.

“That’s the thing about all stories belonging to me,” chuckled Anansi, “I tend to see where a story goes.”

“Dude, spoilers!” I protested. Vegeta picked up my double and went through the portal.

“You know,” mused Anansi, “I may stick around for a while.”

“…No tricks then, okay?” I asked, knowing Anansi.

“No promises,” replied Anansi.

“I wouldn’t believe you if you said no tricks,” I answered. “Let’s do this, then!” With that, I reaffirmed my own faith in Anansi’s job and my duty as a writer.

Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms (Book 3: The First Strike)

3 Realms 3-26

Elmpam and Malnar enjoyed a nice day with Elmpam’s parents and siblings. Despite living in the Under-realm for a long time, Elmpam still knew how to ice-fish. Roolpam, Elmpam’s mother, led Elmpam, Malnar, and the remaining daughters, Turpam and Yuspam, out onto the lake. Elmpam helped Turpam cut holes into the ice while Malnar helped Roolpam and Yuspam ready the fishing lines. Malnar was eager to catch some fish. “Maybe I’ll catch an Ice Marlin!” she giggled.

“I’m afraid they’re not in season right now,” sighed Yuspam.

“Aw,” whined Malnar comedically.

“Now, the Snow Bass, on the other hand…”

“Snow Bass?! I haven’t had it in years!”

“Well, this is the season for it!”

“Come on, you two!” called Roolpam. “Elmpam and Turpam should have the holes ready by now!”

“Coming, Mom!” replied Yuspam. She and Malnar gathered up the lines as Roolpam got the bait. Soon, everyone picked a hole and took up their lines. After baiting the hooks, they dropped them into the holes and sat on their chairs, waiting for a nibble.

“You know, Mama,” mused Malnar as they all waited, “it just occurred to me that you and your sisters’ names have the same last syllable as Grandma, but all your brothers’ end in ‘tor’. Why is that?”

“…You know, I never asked,” remarked Elmpam. “Mom, why ARE we named the way we are?”

“It’s a bit of vanity on your father’s part,” explained Roolpam. “His name means ‘soft brain’ in the old tongue and he was teased because of it. He didn’t want any of his children to suffer like that, so he insisted on names that would denote some tough characteristic. ‘Pam’ is a feminine word that means ‘dedicated’, so he insisted that our daughters have ‘pam’ in their names. ‘Tor’ is the masculine version of ‘Pam’, so he wanted ours sons to have that syllable.”

“Well, the syllables suit y’all,” remarked Malnar. “So, what’s the meaning of your names?”

“Elmpam, you never told her?” asked Turpam.

“She never asked until today,” replied Elmpam. “To answer your question, Malnar, my name means ‘dedicated speaker’, Mom’s name is ‘dedicated beauty’, Turpam means ‘dedicated entertainer’, Yuspam’s meaning is ‘dedicated fisher’, then Rentor is ‘dedicated enforcer’, and Tuntor means ‘dedicated priest’.”

“…What about Oltor?”

“… ‘Dedicated soldier’.”

“He seems to have forgotten that.”

“He has.” Elmpam’s line then bounced! “Oh?” The line bounced some more! “I got a bite! I got a bite!”

“Haul him out!” called Roolpam. Elmpam had two sets of her hands on the line and tugged as hard as she could! The last tug revealed what she caught! It…wasn’t a fish she expected. If anything, it was a pair of starfish strung together by a strap. “…That shouldn’t be in the lake,” muttered Roolpam.

“No kidding, this is fashionable for Over-realm Mermaids,” remarked Turpam.

“Er, excuse me?” called a voice. Everyone turned to see a woman’s head poking out of the water, not even exposing her shoulders. The woman was Halfam in her usual Mer-form. “That’s mine,” explained Halfam.

“…You got a fish tail below the waist?” asked Malnar.

“…Yeah, why?” asked Halfam.

“Madam, this is a non-Sentina fish-only lake,” growled Roolpam. “No Sentina fish or Merfolk allowed! Come on out of there!” She and Yuspam hauled Halfam out as she covered her breasts with her arms. “I’ll have you put away for this!” snapped Roolpam. “This is a high offense, you know! Swimming in a main source of food for us!” As Halfam was handed her bra, she was taken over to the sled. “Yuspam, help me get her back home. Turpam, Elmpam, Malnar, you girls go ahead and continue fishing.” Yuspam helped her mother carry Halfam to the sled, laid her down and covered her in blankets, then they boarded the sled and urged their dogs homewards. Once they disappeared, Malnar, Elmpam, and Turpam resumed fishing.

“The nerve of some people!” grumbled Malnar. “Can’t believe someone would…” she then noticed her line bouncing. “This better be a fish!” She tugged on the line hard and pulled a large, cyan colored Bass out of the water. “Look at the size of that thing!” cheered Malnar.

“That’s a whopper, all right!” praised Turpam. “A few more of those, and we’ll eat well tonight!”

“I’m gonna try again!” declared Malnar.

“I’m surprised you wanted to fish instead of be part of Calandra and Elmar’s wedding today,” remarked Elmpam.

“I’ve never ice-fished before. Besides, I’ve seen weddings before, and they promised to record it, so I’m not missing out on much.”


Speaking of Calandra and Elmar’s wedding, it had just begun on the Endeavor. It took place in the chapel with Arsha officiating it and flanked by the Pink and White Divine Ones. Lord Benthe and Lady Sentriam were accompanied by Lady Lamsar, Lady Olpen, and Lord Galmik and stood to Arsha’s right, all in pink outfits. On Arsha’s left, in their white outfits, were Lord Clompofenta, Lady Seemeertii, Lady Reemiltee, Lord Galtrak, and Lady Bolmola. Arsha awaited the bride and groom as the organ played. At a certain musical cue, Elmar approached the altar and stood to Arsha’s right. The music then changed once he took his place and, walking down the aisle, in a large, white dress, with a veil covering only the eyes, held by a white rose crown, much of the veil bunched at the back of her head, and the remainder draping behind her, was Calandra. She slowly walked to the altar, then took her place at Arsha’s left. The music then ended and Arsha began her speech. “Beloved friends, we are all privileged to witness the union of Princess Calandra Narven and Lieutenant Elmar Rotem. Both come from totally different worlds in more ways than one, but, as the Divine Ones can attest, especially the ones in attendance,” the Divine Ones chuckled, “different worlds often come together. Such unions bring about changes for good or ill, today is one of the good changes. Elmar and Calandra, have you decided what your family name will be?”

“We have,” answered Calandra.

“We shall be the Narvens,” continued Elmar.

“Splendid,” praised Arsha. “Since the first wooden sea-faring vessels, the Captain has enjoyed the privilege of uniting two people in holy matrimony. I am honored to exercise that privilege today with you two. I know your future together will be long and happy. Princess Calandra Narven, do you take this man to be your husband and future King through disaster and prosperity until the Black Divine Ones must separate you on the mortal plains?”

“I do!”

“Lieutenant Elmar Rotem, do you take this woman to be your wife and future queen through disaster and prosperity until the Black Divine Ones must separate you on the mortal plains?”

“I do!”

“Divine Lords and Ladies, have you any words to say?” The Pink Divine Ones began.

“I am Lord Benthe, and I bless this couple with eternal love.”

“I am Lady Sentriam, and I bless this couple with eternal love.”

“I am Lady Lamsar, and I bless this couple with eternal love.”

“I am Lady Olpen, and I bless this couple with eternal love.”

“I am Lord Galmik, and I bless this couple with eternal love.”

“May you always feel peace and happiness throughout your days as you do on this day,” bid all the Pink Divine Ones. The White Divine Ones then took over.

“I am Lord Clompofenta, and I bless this couple with a new beginning.”

“I am Lady Seemeertii, and I bless this couple with a new beginning.”

“I am Lady Reemiltee, and I bless this couple with a new beginning.”

“I am Lord Galtrak, and I bless this couple with a new beginning.”

“I am Lady Bolmola, and I bless this couple with a new beginning.”

“May your new beginnings in your new joined life be pleasant and happy as today,” blessed all the White Divine Ones.

“Arsha, you may unite them,” bid Lamsar.

“By the power vested in me by the Divine Ones of Love and Beginnings,” declared Arsha, “I hereby pronounce this couple married by law, love, and beginning! Elmar and Calandra Narven, you may kiss!” Calandra leapt to Elmar’s face and planted her lips on his. He returned the kiss with equal passion as the audience applauded.


Far away from the ship, Oltor was trying to contact Halfam. “Halfam! Halfam, come in! Where are you?!” He gave up soon afterwards. “Stupid fish! Spent too long in the Under-realm, that’s what’s wrong!” He then heard barking. “Dammit!” He ducked behind an ice formation, then climbed it high enough for dogs to be unable to reach him. A search party then arrived with their dogs sniffing the whole area. Leading the whole thing was the Sheriff of the Coliamdii Kingdom, Rentir Ental. The party searched the area as Oltor stayed on his icy perch, not daring to make a noise. This lasted for a good hour until one of the officers approached Rentir.

“Sir, we’re not turning up anything,” she reported, “and it’s getting dark.”

“Very well,” decided Rentir. “Call off the search for now. We’ll sweep this area again in the morning.”

“Yes, Sir,” replied the officer. She then turned to her squad mates. “Pack it up and pack it in, boys and girls. We’re gonna continue in the morning.” The search party then left the area and Oltor got an idea.

“Well,” he mused once he was alone and down from his perch, “I DID post a bounty on that traitor about a year ago and it WOULD be a shame if a candidate for Prime Minister were to meet an…accident.”

Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms (Book 3: The First Strike)

3 Realms 3-25

The Endeavor made it to the Coliamdii Kingdom, the Over-realm’s most frigid area. Elmpam sighed happily as she put on her old Coliamdii clothes. She DID have a bit of a time trying to match her arms to their proper sleeves, but she got them correct. As she, Arsha, and Malnar went down the entrance ramp, her tail was wagging happily. “Back to the old fisher’s grounds!” she yipped.

“You always light up whenever we visit here,” observed Malnar.

“You’d do the same if you spent most of your adult life in another place outside your home,” answered Elmpam.

“…Fair point.” Malnar then turned to Arsha. “You coming?”

“Sorry, but I can’t,” replied Arsha. “I still need to help set up for Elmar and Calandra’s wedding in a few days. You two enjoy yourselves.”

“We will,” promised Elmpam. She then led Malnar in one direction as Arsha waved them off. She then went back into the ship and made her way to where the wedding banquet would be held, Barmek’s Bar and Grill. Mr. Barmek and Jaltor were discussing some final edits to the menu with Calandra and Elmar.

“So, the sausage became too expensive,” Calandra summed up what Mr. Barmek and Jaltor told her. “Are there any acceptable substitutes?”

“Unless you’re fine with losing the spicy flavor, no,” sighed Mr. Barmek.

“What else has that kick that can be made quickly?”

“Well, there IS a salmon dish…”

“You’ve got Galdredan salmon?” asked Elmar.

“Yeah, a whole shelf of it,” replied Jaltor.

“…You know, I haven’t had salmon since my 300th birthday,” mused Calandra.

“And fish IS part of a Merperson’s usual diet,” agreed Elmar.

“And you like fish too.”

“Indeed.”

“So, is that a ‘yes’ on the fish?” asked Jaltor. The future bride and groom looked at each other, then nodded.

“Go ahead with a salmon dish!” declared Calandra.

“Perfect!” declared Mr. Barmek.

“Wait a minute,” called Arsha, attracting their attention, “how did the sausage get so expensive?”

“Remember that outbreak of foot and mouth?” asked Calandra.

“…It was that bad?” quizzed Arsha.

“Yep. Farmers had to raise the price on their healthy livestock to turn a decent profit.”

“Yikes.” Just then, Shalvey came up. “Commander, what can I do for you?”

“A message from Realmfleet,” reported Shalvey. “Oltor’s been spotted here.”

“…Oltor?!” repeated Arsha. “The Over-splitter Supreme?!”

“The same. All ships are being searched by order of King Tegnar and King Lektem Yantoru. Yes, even Realmfleet ships are being searched. They don’t want him leaving this place.”

“Well, if the search party has a warrant, we’ll happily cooperate.”


The Search Party’s commander presented the warrant to Arsha when they arrived an hour later. Once everything checked out, Arsha bade them to carry out their search. The stereotype for Inus is that they’re able to smell a criminal from across a continent in any Realm. They’ve cultivated that for a while by joining law enforcement organizations. The commander stayed behind to speak with Arsha. “I know you’re Elgrad’s daughter and that the Royanas aren’t known for being nice to Splitters,” he remarked, “but we cannot afford any chances.”

“I understand, Sir,” assured Arsha. The search lasted for a good two hours, each room being turned upside-down, restored, turned upside-down again, and restored again to really make sure Oltor wasn’t on the ship. The search turned up nothing, so the Search Party pulled out, the commander thanking Arsha for her and the crew’s cooperation. When gone, the whole ship shuddered, no matter where the crew member was. After the whole thing, Arsha spoke with Denstra and Dalengor about it.

“I have to say, I almost panicked,” muttered Denstra.

“How so? You’re not a pirate anymore,” replied Dalengor.

“I’ve been one long enough to flinch whenever someone even utters the phrase ‘search the ship’.”

“That engrained into your skull, huh?” mused Arsha.

“Yeah, being a former pirate has its disadvantages.”

“It also has its advantages. I mean, you DID help us beat Reb back on your first days here.”

“…Yeah, I guess it does.”


Malnar and Elmpam’s carriage arrived at Elmpam’s childhood home and released them at the foot of a marked path to the door. Elmpam paid the driver and he left as Malnar and Elmpam headed up the path. As they got closer, Elmpam could see people coming to a shed, people that wore police uniforms! “What in all the Realms?” she muttered.

“There’s been a lot of police activity around here,” remarked Malnar. “What’s going on?”

“No idea. I’m going to get to the bottom of this.” Elmpam approached an officer talking to her father, Lensarn. “Excuse me,” she called. Lensarn and the officer turned.

“Elmpam!” greeted Lensarn. “And is this little Malnar?! Sweet Heights, my girl! Last time I saw you, you were up to my waist!”

“Good to see you too, Grandpa,” replied Malnar. “What’s all this?”

“Oltor’s been spotted in this kingdom, Your Highness,” explained the officer. “We have no intention of letting him get away.”

“Oltor?!” yelped Elmpam. “Why would he be here?!”

“Gathering what few allies he has left alive, I would guess. Dr. Borg’s been killing Splitters all across the Realms.”

“Erode public trust in us, I see,” mused Malnar.

“I’ve already spoken to this officer about a warrant and he produced one,” assured Lensarn. “Given Oltor’s past, I’m not surprised they want to search here.”

“Why? What connection does your home have to Oltor?” asked Malnar.

“…Elmpam, you told her, right?”

“I swear, I did!” answered Elmpam.

“Tell me what?” asked Malnar.

“Malnar, Oltor’s my eldest brother.”

“…No.”

“Yes.”

“…You mean your eldest brother…is the Over-Splitter Supreme?!”

“Yeah, that’s why we don’t really talk about him,” remarked Lensarn. “I disowned him when I got the news.”

“But why would he want to join the Over-Splitters in the first place?!”

“Grief,” answered Elmpam. “He had a wife and son, but a pair of humans from the Mid and Under-realms killed them. They managed to escape justice and he joined the Over-Splitters, feeling slighted by the Over-realm and promising to bring a new era of peace in our time. He rose through the ranks quickly and soon became the Over-Splitter Supreme.”

“…I’m sorry for his loss,” mumbled Malnar.


“By the Ones, it’s FREEZING here!” shivered a Mermaid as she sat on the icy shores of the Over-realm’s Eastern Continent.

“Next time, wear more than a mere fluffy skirt!” growled Oltor unsympathetically. “Now whip up a warming spell for yourself and then prepare the arsenal, Halfam.”

“What for?!” argued Halfam, an Over-Splitter spy that entered into the Scarlet Stream Pirates two years ago. “Oltor, we’re the last Over-Splitters! We need to consolidate our…!” Oltor then slapped her!

“Yours is not to reason why, just to obey orders!” he growled. “Now get that arsenal prepped!” He then stormed off across the snow. “Stupid fish!”

“Pure-blooded mutt!” snarled Halfam as she turned her tail into a pair of legs, then cast a warming spell around her. She then got up and moved to the pile of weapons, getting them ready for a confrontation.


Their arrival was NOT unnoticed. Remsu and Yamta saw the whole thing. “Oh, wow,” muttered Yamta.

“Sheesh, Ansark held women in higher regard than that,” remarked Remsu. “…Can’t believe I just said that.”

“He’s gonna lose an ally if he keeps that up.”

“If she leaves him, she’s safe.”

“Wait, your wife was serious?”

“Of course. No need for people to die if they see sense.”

“…Fair enough.” Yamta’s communicator then vibrated. She opened it to see Femfaf’s face. “What’s going on?” asked Yamta.

“Girls, there’s a complication,” reported Femfaf. “Elmpam’s in the Coliamdii Kingdom.”

“Elmpam? Here?” asked Remsu. “What for?”

“Unknown. My guess is a family visit.”

‘Well, this IS her home,” remarked Yamta.

“Keep us posted,” continued Remsu.

“Will do. Femfaf out.” The call ended.

“This isn’t good,” muttered Yamta. “Elmpam’s presence will make it harder to get rid of Oltor.”

“Not if we play our cards right.”

“What do you have in mind?”


As that exchange went on, a trio of people camped a little further away from them. They all had blankets draped over their bodies and huddled around a fire. One of the people, a woman with blood-red hair and an equally colored floral hairpiece, was moaning her lot in life. “GLORIOUS Pirate Admiral one minute, a homeless BUM the next! What happened?!”

“You know the answer as well as we do, Reb,” grunted the second person, a male Mega-shark. He then shivered. “Grief, cold air is different to cold water!”

“You know, this may be our punishment,” muttered the last person, a male, cybernetic Sea Elf. He then pulled out a book and read a bit. “Maybe we SHOULD be cleansing our immortal souls.”

“How’s a book gonna help us?!” snapped the Mega-shark.

“It’s the Divine Codex!” remarked the Sea Elf. “It’s just a starting point!”

“I’d be more religious if a most DIVINE miracle happened right now,” muttered the woman, the former Admiral of the Scarlet Stream Pirates, Reb Rojam. She then leaned onto the Sea Elf, Melgem’s, shoulder. Jargoon, the former Mega-shark King, just snorted before turning his head away. He no longer cared enough to mutter any racial epithets, given his current company. He turned his gaze upwards…to see something coming towards them. He alerted his current companions to what was going on. The something was a team of sled dogs pulling their owner on the sled. The lead dog signaled for the team to stop and the sled braked to a halt. The owner, their features obscured by their clothes, approached them.

“Need a lift to civilization?” asked the person in a feminine voice.

“…You DO know who we are?” asked Melgem.

“All I see are a trio of people needing warmth,” remarked the sled driver. “Considering that symbiote slimes don’t do well in the cold, I think you could use a roof over your heads.”

“…We’ll take your offer,” declared Reb.

“Perfect, climb aboard!” directed the sled driver.