Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms (Book 6: The Eternal Age of Unity)

3 Realms 6-26

One of the tests needed for restoring a pirate to Protectorate Pirate status was dinner with the Royal Family they’re pleading their case to. Since Reb was asking the Royanas, the dinner was…awkward to say the least. Arsha and Reb spent half the meal glaring at one another. Rikuna decided to break the silence. “Isn’t this nice?” she asked. “When’s the last time we got together like this, hm?”

“The only meal I remember sharing with her,” replied Arsha, “was when she drugged me and my crew and tried to ransom us!”

“It cost me a FRIGHTFUL amount of people,” recalled Reb. “We never fully recovered from the Splitters’ actions on MY island.” Rikuna gulped.

“Eh heh, good times?” she mumbled.

“No,” said Arsha and Reb together.

“Would somebody please pass the potatoes?” asked Elgrad.

“There…aren’t any potatoes, sweetie,” reminded Hanako.

“Well,” said Elgrad, “I figured the pirates who kidnapped our daughter and had five of her crew killed to be turned into Revenants by Dr. Borg could PULL POTATOES OUT OF THEIR ILL-GOTTEN GAINS!” By the time he was shouting, he was pointing his fork at the pirates.

“Uncle Elgrad!” snapped Rikuna. “We’re here for a nice family dinner, not to fight over who killed who or who stole what!”

“No, let’s have that conversation!” hissed Melgem. “Perhaps we can discover why those fool peasants seem to like you so much!”

“Fool peasants?!” snapped Foresna. “As a peasant, I take offense to that!”

“But why?! You emulate the rich too much! Putting sunglasses on dogs, taking photos of meals, and DON’T get me started on data crystals filled with nothing but recorded plays!”

“At least we’re not fool enough to attack a cruise ship!”

“Now, you see here! We do NOT attack cruise ships!” snapped Reb.

“Not what I read from the news. What ship did you guys attack again? The Monkey Business?” Arsha and Foresna high-fived each other, then Arsha got an idea.

“Is that what this is about?” she asked. “You two are too embarrassed by that and so you felt like you permanently lost your touch at actual piracy?” Reb’s face went as red as her hair in embarrassment and fury. “…Your silence says yes.”

“Look, it’s not REALLY that,” said Melgem, trying to help his wife. “It’s…that prophecy.” Reb sighed.

“The Final Prophecy,” she elaborated. “New Realms, unlimited resources, untold wealth, everyone with full bellies, it’s not all that great for pirate business.”

“Then, by that logic, the Protectorate Pirate job’s gonna go the same way,” remarked Arsha.

“No, it won’t,” said Reb. “While Protectorate Pirates won’t be attacking actual pirates, we DO get paid in making sure the minor threats, like stowaways, are taken care of.”

“Look, Rebby and Melly,” said Rikuna, “what you need is to spend some quality time with average people instead of famous ones like Arsha, and I know just how to do it!” She then held up a flyer. “Who wants to join me as we see the new Mechanica engine for the railway tomorrow? It’s a new type of engine!” Arsha sighed.

“Fine, I’ll do it,” she grumbled.

“Arsha, wait!” interjected Elgrad. “You’re not seriously suggesting-?!”

“My crew’s gonna hear about this, and I’m telling them to take the proper precautions concerning them!”

“…Well, I guess I can’t ask for more than that.”


“REB ROJAM?!” yelped Denstra when the news reached her.

“Unfortunately,” confirmed Dalengor. “However, she’s not doing anything bad at the moment.”

“Keep security on standby when she does!” ordered Denstra. “I am NOT gonna suffer her a second longer than I need to!”

“That’s exactly what Arsha asked me to pass along.”

“Good. Make the necessary arrangements.”

“Aye, Ma’am.” Dalengor then headed off.


Four Mechanica engines were standing in front of their berths at the Largandra Railway sheds, awaiting their controller, Arsha, Reb, Rikuna, and Melgem. The railway was a small one at the western ends of Largandra, so there was no need for a massive fleet of engines. One of the engines, a Mechanica Tank Engine woman named Dulna, looked at her watch. “What’s keeping him?!” she grunted.

“Relax,” soothed the express engine, a Mechanica Tender Engine woman named Gornula. “If anything, an arrival now would make him early.”

“You know how much of a stickler he is for timetables,” said a Mechanica Tender Engine man named Jarnathu. “I’m sure he’ll be here.”

“There’s a saying on my old railway,” retorted Dulna, “if you’re not early, you’re late!”

“Sounds a little stressful, if you ask me,” said the last Tender Engine, a Mechanica man named Henurya.

“In my eyes, there are two ways of doing things!” snapped Dulna. “The Great Varshenta Way or the Wrong Way! At heart, I’m still an engine of the Great Varshenta Railway and-!”

“Don’t we know it!” groaned all three Tender Engines. Just then, they heard a horn.

“Is…is that a new…heavy goods type of horseless carriage?” asked Jarnathu.

“What’s that purring noise?” quizzed Gornula.

“If I were a betting engine,” remarked Dulna, “I’d say it’s the engine arriving on the turntable!” The engine was a Mechanica woman, but she had a different shape to the steam engines. She looked boxy and had no funnels on her shoulders, just radiator grills. There was no visible mana crystal supply and there was nothing for water storage. There WAS a cab, as the controller, a human man named Tophan, stepped out with Arsha, Reb, Melgem, and Rikuna.

“Hello, Engines!” called Tophan.

“Hello, Sir,” replied the Engines.

“Sir, if I may,” asked Dulna, “is she the new engine?”

“She is, indeed!” replied Tophan. “Her name is Crysna.”

“Where are her funnels?” asked Henurya.

“I don’t have any,” replied Crysna. “I don’t run on steam power.”

“You don’t?!” yelped Gornula. “How do your pistons move?!”

“I don’t have pistons.”

“Then how do your wheels move?!”

“I have a crystal-drive engine. One or two mana crystals a day and I’m off.”

“You mean, the mana crystals are wired into you?!” asked Jarnathu.

“They are.”

“It’s kind of like how a ship’s engines work,” explained Arsha, “just smaller, thus needing fewer mana crystals.”

“As such, my type of engine is called a Crystal Engine,” Crysna said proudly. “I must say, I’m excited to work here!”

“Crysna is here on trial,” said Tophan, “to help with shunting work. Dulna, I know you can do the work alone, but what happens when you break down? Your larger co-workers are rather…clumsy when it comes to shunting.”

“Th-the term is awkward, not clumsy, thank you,” mumbled Gornula as she looked sheepishly at her buffers.

“In any event,” continued Tophan, “Crysna needs to learn. Please teach her, Dulna.”

“Yes, Sir,” replied Dulna.


As Crysna learned her duties and what branch line the two shunters run, Reb spoke with Arsha. “Their worthy Fat-”

“LARGE Controller to you!” hissed Arsha.

“…Their worthy LARGE Controller thinks Crysna needs to learn. Crysna’s a Mechanica. She doesn’t need to learn. Besides, she’s a new type of engine.”

“I’ve seen new types of ships that blunder their way through life unlike Endea. If Crysna wants to succeed, she’ll heed Dulna’s advice.

Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms (Book 6: The Eternal Age of Unity)

3 Realms 6-25

The Endeavor had to pick the supplies up at Galthar first, then went to Largandra. “Largandra,” called Shalvey, “this is the Endeavor, registry CRS-2784. Requesting permission to land.”

“Standby while we verify your clearance,” replied the person at flight control. Shalvey transmitted the clearance code. “…Clearance accepted. You are assigned to Flight Path 1 to Landing Pad 4. Welcome to Largandra and tell her Highness welcome back.”

“Will do,” answered Shalvey. She ended the call and fed the flight path and coordinates to Nazay. Nazay then guided the ship to the landing pad. As he did, Arsha looked distracted. Denstra saw this.

“Hey, are you okay?” she whispered. Arsha was snapped out of her thoughts.

“…I’m gonna miss you guys once this is over,” she whispered back.

“It’s not over yet. We still have a mission to complete and this one doesn’t exactly have a timetable.” Arsha smiled a bit.

“Yeah, there’s that.”


Once the Endeavor landed, Endea reported to the snooze room, a new addition to shipyards for Ship-type Mechanicas to comfortably sleep under the effects of purple water, the anesthetic for Mechanicas. An engineer and a doctor were on standby. “So, ready to get rid of any and all excess weapons?” asked the engineer.

“You have NO idea!” replied Endea. “I’ve been waiting for this day when I first got the initial overhaul that slapped the damn things on me in the first place.”

“Well, it’s time to get rid of them,” said the doctor. “Time for only the essential weapons to deter pirates.”

“…Yeah, pirates are my only threat now that the Splitters and Dr. Borg’s followers are gone.”

“We’re ready to administer the purple water,” reported the engineer. “You good to go?”

“Yep, put me under!” Once Endea tucked herself into the bed, the engineer called for the go ahead to administer the purple water. She fell fast asleep and the shipyards got to work.


Foresna decided to get to the castle before Arsha. He wanted to get familiar with it since it was gonna be his home at some point in the future. He was let in and wandered the halls, saying hello to everyone. “Hello, Irmalii!” he said to the Royana’s Royal Guard Captain.

“Hi, Foresna!” replied Irmalii.

“Hello, Domesta!” he greeted once the Head Maid floated by.

“Welcome, Foresna!” returned Domesta.

“Hello, Mr and Mrs. Rojam!” he said to a couple. He then realized what he said and grabbed their arms. Unfortunately, his eyes WEREN’T wrong, it WAS Reb and Melgem. “And just what, pray tell, are you doing here?” he asked.

“You wouldn’t believe us if we told you,” replied Reb evenly.

“Try me.”

“Okay, we snagged a BEAUTIFUL new lover. Rikuna, if you must know.”

“Arsha’s oldest cousin on her mother’s side?”

“That’s the one,” confirmed Melgem.

“And what’s your angle on it?”

“We love her, she loves us, that’s the angle.”

“Uh huh, sure. And do Elgrad and Hanako know about your presence?”

“Of course, otherwise we’d be in the dungeon by now.”

“Well, you don’t mind if I drag you two to the throne room and confirm that for myself, do you? And by that, I mean that I’m dragging you there anyway, regardless of your willingness or lack thereof.”

“Now, wait a minute, my DEAR Foresna-!” gulped Reb. Foresna then dragged the two away.

“That’s Mr. Falshenda to you!” hissed the red-headed man.


“And you’re SURE you can do this?” Hanako asked a nine-tailed Kitsune woman as the two and Elgrad spoke in the throne room.

“Positive!” replied the woman, Rikuna. The doors then opened.

“Your Majesties, are you aware that pirates are in here?” he asked.

“We are,” replied Hanako. “Let them go.”

“Why?!” protested Foresna.

“Because my eldest niece here,” explained Hanako, “somehow thinks she can change them with love.” Foresna released the two pirates and glared at Rikuna.

“Rikuna, explanations?”

“It’s simple, I love them!” replied Rikuna as she hugged the two pirates. The two smiled in her embrace.

“WHY do you love those cutthroats?”

“Well, pity, I suppose.”

“Gee, way to make a guy feel special,” grunted Melgem as his and Reb’s smiles faded.

“Oh, come now,” said Rikuna. “Were you two not suffering from your crew mocking you when they discovered you didn’t have a certain map that led to the buried treasures of all currently known royal families?”

“…Maybe,” mumbled Melgem.

“And were they not wishing to be Protectorate Pirates again?”

“…Perhaps,” muttered Melgem.

“And who set you up in style while you plead your case to become Protectorate Pirates once more?”

“…The WONDERFUL Dr. Positive,” muttered Reb.

“That’s right, Dr. Positive! The one who’s gonna turn Melgem from a bad guy to a glad guy! Turn Reb from a sad she to a happy she! Turn you both from Devil to A-Level, baby!” Foresna then grabbed Rikuna and dragged her to Elgrad and Hanako.

“You guys aren’t seriously considering this lunacy, are you?!” he asked the King and Queen. “Reb’s the only living one of Arsha’s arch enemies!”

“Look, all former Protectorate Pirates,” sighed Elgrad, “have the right to a second chance to regain favor with us. It’s a two-strike system, so if they waste it, they’re never gonna be Protectorate Pirates again. I don’t like them anymore than you do, but not even We are above the law. We have to give them one last chance.”

“With all the respect that’s due to you, that’s the most ridiculous thing I ever-!” Trumpets interrupted Foresna’s rant.

“Oh, please don’t let it be Arsha,” gulped Hanako. “Her presence will only make things more complicated!” Arsha went into the throne room.

“I heard there were a pair of new guys in here,” she said, “so I thought I’d w-w-w-WHAT IS THIS?!” She finally clapped eyes on the Rojams. “I thought I would be welcoming two new people to Largandra!”

“No,” replied Foresna. “Apparently, we’re all gonna be helping Rikuna in getting Reb and Melgem their Protectorate Pirate status back!” Arsha drew her wand.

“Told you she wouldn’t like it,” Hanako muttered as she held her hand out in front of Elgrad. Elgrad handed her 200 golds to pay off the bet.

“Oh no!” snarled Arsha as she leveled her wand. “I do NOT help my only mortal enemy get a damn apartment in MY home city!” Magic built up at the tip of her wand and she swung upwards, ready to fire a blast at the two pirates.

“LOWURDAL!” shouted Rikuna as she thrust her palm towards Arsha. A spark flew towards Arsha and hit her hand, making her drop the wand. “The Rojams aren’t enemies anymore! They’re family!”

“And how, pray tell, did you, my eldest cousin, arrive at THAT conclusion?” growled Arsha.

“She’s been dating them since your mother and I were looking for you,” muttered Elgrad.

“And once they get those warm, family-style feels,” continued Rikuna, “their icy shell will crack and we’ll all be chest-deep in sunshine!”

“…Whatever you’re on,” grunted Arsha, “you need to get off it now.”

Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms (Book 6: The Eternal Age of Unity)

3 Realms 6-24

“Now, Sho’s dance was over,” said Moru. “I stuck my head in the office door and I saw Milnaf and Dingbat arguing over by the wyvern cage.”

“What were they arguing about?” asked the prosecutor.

“I don’t know,” replied Moru, “but Dingbat was sizzling like a hot hamburger! He grabs Milnaf by the neck like that!” She grabbed Curlandii’s neck! “Then he drags her over to the paper press, see?” She dragged her to a paper press on the table. “Then he smacks her on the head like that!” Moru hit Curlandii on the head with a hammer. “Then he pokes her coconut into the paper press like that, see?” She stuck Curlandii’s head into the press and grabbed the wheel on top. “Then he says ‘I’ll squeeze the cider out of your Alalar’s Apple!’ Then he gives her the works like this!” She twisted the wheel and the press went down on Curlandii’s head. “And he keeps turning and twisting!” She then stopped. “And that, Lords and Ladies, is-” The press then rose so sharply that the wheel spun rapidly, then flew off its post and landed on Moru’s head. Curlandii managed to get out and indicated that she needed her jaws to work again. Moru smacked her jaw and she regained control of her mouth.

“What’s the matter, you wanna kill me?!” asked Curlandii.

“Quite preposterous!” snapped the prosecutor. “When the police broke into the office, they found the defendant, Sho Girla, standing over the body of a murdered woman clutching a wand-only crossbow in her hands!”

“Which only goes to prove that my client is innocent!” replied Bujamiso.

“Innocent?!”

“Yes, Ma’am, and I’ll prove it!” He picked up Exhibit A, a crossbow that only fired with a wand in its stock. “Lords and Ladies,” he said, “the action of this crossbow is so hard, it would take the strength of a Troll to pull the trigger!” He turned to Curlandii. “Try it.”

“I’m no Troll!” protested Curlandii.

“No, your jaw’s too small,” replied Moru. She then poked Curlandii’s eyes.

“So I’m a Troll,” said Curlandii once she recovered from the eyepoke.

“Pull the trigger!” directed Bujamiso. Curlandii tentatively took it. “Never fear, there’s no wand in there.” Curlandii tried to pull the trigger, but she was straining to do so. Her face was turning an alarming shade of purple in the attempt. Bujamiso, feeling secure on that front, turned to the jury. “Sho Girla’s strict exercise regimen has her focus more on her legs. So, tell me, how could her comparatively frail little finger pull the rusty trigger of that instrument of war?”

“Ain’t nothing in there,” sighed Curlandii. She then managed to pull the trigger and discovered that there WAS a wand in the stock! A magic blast leapt from the crossbow and strike Bujamiso in his rear end! He jumped in pain and ended up embracing a woman on the jury. The woman smiled, then leaned to him.

“Channel seven four three, extension nine nine seven two…after 40:00!” Bujamiso realized that she was flirting with him, then his attention as grabbed by Curlandii trying to get her finger out of the trigger guard. When he joined the struggle, she fired another shot that knocked the pendants off Moru and Larima’s necks.

“What did you do with my star pendant?!” Moru asked Larima.

“Give me that crossbow!” growled Bujamiso as Moru and Larima tried to help.

“DON’T POINT THAT THING AT ME!” yelped Larima. The crossbow fired one more shot and it took the priest’s toupee off, leaving a sear on his scalp. They finally got the crossbow away from her.

“You were called in to be a witness, right?!” Moru snarled at Curlandii.

“Certainly!” confirmed the larger Elf.

“So were you!” Larima said to Moru.

“What are you butting in for?!” Moru yanked on Larima’s hair. “You were supposed to be a good one!”

“Well, ain’t I?” asked Curlandii.

“Then what are you disturbing the Royal Court for?!” Moru tried to yank Curlandii’s hair, but it was too short. Curlandii gave her signature “Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk” and then blocked Moru’s eyepoke. Moru went for poking out a single eye. “Get going!” Moru pointed to the stand. Curlandii sat in the stand again and ate on a strip of gum. Lardeth rolled his eyes.

“Stop chewing that gum!” he called.

“Certainly!” Curlandii spat it out and started playing with it.

“WILL YOU THROW THAT GUM AWAY?!” Curlandii then tossed it.

“Look, I got rid of it!” She then saw that it landed on Moru’s nose. Larima then took a tissue and crept to Moru’s face.

“Hold still! I’ll get it!” She then closed her first on Moru’s nose. Moru protested, then Larima got all the gum off and stomped on it. She then cheered loudly. Moru grabbed her arm.

“You’re in the Royal Court, not in the woods, Talmazu!” She smacked Larima and dragged her away.

“Order in this court!” called Lardeth. As the Maidens sat down, the wyvern spoke.

“Find the letter! Find the letter!”

“What does this wyvern mean by ‘find the letter’?” asked Lardeth.

“There’s a whole pile of letters here,” said Moru. She and her friends then looked through the letters on the desk, then Moru saw something. “Look! There’s a note tied to the wyvern’s foot!” Moru opened the cage and held her finger out. “Come on, Wacky, Wacky, Wacky. Come on, Wacky, Wacky.” Her hand went for the note, then the wyvern bit her! “OUCH!” The wyvern flew off and buzzed the throne room. The Maidens armed themselves with hammers and tried to hit it, hurting the people in the process. It then perched itself on a light fixture.

“How are we gonna get it down?” asked Larima.

“Let’s get some salt and put it on his tail!” suggested Curlandii.

“That’s no way to get a wyvern!” said Moru. “You gotta wet its scales so it can’t fly!” Curlandii then got an idea.

“Don’t wait for me!” she said to her friends. Moru and Larima tried to climb the wall as Curlandii got the fire hose.

“I object, Your Majesty!” called the prosecutor as she was fed up. “This court! These proceedings!” The bailiff tried to stop Curlandii from using the hose, but it was too little, too late! Curlandii had already switched it on and a deluge of water erupted from the hose. The whole throne room got sprayed.

“What a night!” cackled the wyvern before the water knocked him off the fixture. As Curlandii and the bailiff tried to tie the hose, Moru took the note off the Wyvern’s foot.

“Get this!” she called. She then read the note aloud. “‘Who killed Milnaf? I killed Milnaf, and with my bow and arrow! Don’t try to find me and shove me off to Realmfleet Max. Signed Wingnut!’” Everyone cheered as Sho Girla’s name was cleared. Once Lardeth handed down the innocent verdict, the priest approached him and held out the Codex. Lardeth placed his left hand on it and raised his right.

“I, Lardeth Felompha, do solemnly swear,” began the Priest.

“I, Lardeth Felompha, do solemnly swear,” repeated Lardeth

“That I will execute my duties as King of the Over-realm faithfully.”

“That I will execute my duties as King of the Over-realm faithfully.”

“I will uphold the laws and dreams of my people.”

“I will uphold the laws and dreams of my people.”

“I will care for those that are in dire straits.”

“I will care for those that are in dire straits.”

“With the help of the now Mortal Divine Ones, I will not let evil corrupt my judgement.”

“With the help of the now Mortal Divine Ones, I will not let evil corrupt my judgement.”

“If necessary, I will give my life to save my people, should disaster strike.”

“If necessary, I will give my life to save my people, should disaster strike.”

“I hereby pronounce you King of the Over-realm!” The crowd cheered as Lardeth looked onwards.


At the port where the Endeavor and Malnar’s ship sat docked, Lardeth and Falnii saw Malnar, Gorfanth, Arsha, and Foresna off. “You call often, you hear?” urged Lardeth.

“Loud and clear, Princess,” replied Arsha. Her face then adopted a thoughtful look. “Wait, you’re the reigning monarch now. That nickname doesn’t suit you anymore.”

“Well, I don’t want it to change,” said Lardeth. “My lovers may still call me ‘Princess’.” He then adopted a pompous voice. “Thus is our Royal Decree!” That earned a laugh.

“Hey, Foxy, you’ll tell us when your coronation is, right?” asked Malnar.

“Of course!” replied Arsha. “Because after the ceremony, I have something for all of you.”

“Oh?” asked Gorfanth. “And what’s that?”

“That’s a secret for now,” replied Arsha.

“In the meantime, we’ll send you copies of our portraits,” promised Falnii.

“Gotta say, Princess,” mused Foresna, “the roses in your hairpiece really give it a nice splash of color. Why those colors, though?”

“Humor me for a bit and remind me what the national colors for each Realm are,” said Lardeth.

“Ah!” realized Foresna. Everyone then sighed.

“Well,” mumbled Arsha, “I’ll see you at my coronation.”

“Take care,” said Falnii. They all kissed one another, then Gorfanth and Malnar headed to their ship as Arsha and Foresna returned to the Endeavor.


“Captain on the bridge!” called Denstra as Arsha stepped onto the bridge.

“As you were,” directed Arsha. “Did our mission parameters come in?”

“Our mission,” reported Shalvey, “is to deliver supplies to the Largandra shipyards and then authorize the Endeavor’s peacetime overhaul.”

“That would be nice,” muttered Endea. “The weapons I got from my wartime overhaul are sticking into me!”

“Nazay,” said Arsha, “lay in a course for the Over-to-Mid Realmgate, then get us to the shipyards.”

“Course laid in,” replied Nazay.

“Nice and easy,” directed Arsha. The Endeavor rose into the air and flew off to the Realmgate.

Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms (Book 6: The Eternal Age of Unity)

3 Realms 6-23

“Take off your hat,” said the priest. Curlandii used her right hand to hold it. “Now raise your right hand.” She put the hat back on and raised her hand. “Now put your left hand here.” He pointed to the Codex. Curlandii then moved her cane into her right hand as she put her left onto the book.

“Take off your hat,” said Lardeth. Curlandii put her cane back in her left hand and used her right to take her hat off.

“Raise your right hand,” repeated the priest. She put the hat back on and raised her hand. “Now put your left hand here.” He pointed to the Codex. Curlandii then moved her cane into her right hand as she put her left onto the book.

“Please, take off your hat,” commanded Lardeth. Curlandii put her cane back in her left hand and used her right to take her hat off. The priest was losing patience.

“Raise your right hand!” he growled. Curlandii grunted in frustration as she put her hat back on and raised her hand. “Now put your left hand here!” She changed the cane’s position again!

“Will you please take off your hat?!” This time, Lardeth was losing patience. Curlandii took her hat off.

“Raise your right hand!” snarled the priest. Curlandii put the hat back on. “Now put your left hand here!” She changed the cane’s position again. At that moment, Lardeth had enough!

“TAKE OFF YOUR HAT!” Curlandii decided to solve the problem by putting the hat onto the cane’s handle.

“Raise your right hand!” growled the priest. She raised the cane. The priest grabbed the hat. “WILL YOU GET RID OF THAT HAT?!” he shouted. Curlandii put the hat on the priest’s head, hung the cane on Lardeth’s arm, and put both of her hands on the Codex.

“Raise YOUR right hand!” she said. The priest raised his hand, then realized what he was doing before he lowered his hand and took the hat off. He decided to hold both it and the Codex.

“Raise your right hand!” he snarled. She did so. “Doyousolemnlysweartotellthetruththewholetruthandnothingbutthetruth?” he asked.

“…Huh?” asked Curlandii.

“DOYOUSOLEMNLYSWEARTOTELLTHETRUTHTHEWHOLETRUTHANDNOTHINGBUTTHETRUTH?!”

“Are you trying to give me the double talk?” The priest tried to hold his tongue.

“Doyousolemnlysweartotellthetruththewholetruthandnothingbutthetruth?!”

“Why don’t you answer him?!” snapped Lardeth.

“He’s talking Boar-Fae!” replied Curlandii. “I don’t know what he’s saying!”

“He’s asking you if you swear-!”

“No, but I know all the words!”

“…He’s asking you if you promise to tell the truth!”

“Truth is stranger than fiction, Kingy-wingy!” Curlandii then waved at him.

“…Kindly address us as Your Majesty and take the oath!”

“Doyousolemnlysweartotellthetruththewholetruthandnothingbutthetruth?” asked the priest.

“Certainly! What have I got to lose?” replied Curlandii.

“Take the stand,” said Lardeth. Curlandii picked the chair up.

“Where do I put it?” she asked.

“No, no! Take the stand!”

“I got it, now what do I do with it?” The priest took the chair out of her hands and put it back onto the floor.

“SIT DOWN!” he said. Curlandii sat down, but she sat in a way that made her fall to the floor. Moru and Larima rushed to help her up.

“What’s the matter with you?!” snapped Moru. “You’re in the Royal Court, not in Clandii’s Pool Room!” She then bonked Curlandii on the head. “Sit down!”

“I’m a victim of circumstance!” argued Curlandii.

“Sit down!” said Larima as she smacked Curlandii’s head

“Who are you hitting?” snarled Moru as she poked Larima’s eyes. She then smacked Curlandii’s cheek before she and Larima returned to the bench.

“Proceed with the case,” ordered Lardeth as Curlandii put her bowler back on. Bujamiso then approached her.

“Were you in the Flights of Fancy café on the night of Jamfaf the forty-second?” he asked.

“Certainly!” confirmed Curlandii. As the questioning continued, Moru and Larima drew out a tic-tac-toe board on the bench.

“Did you, at that time, see the defendant, Sho Girla, in any way, shape, or form, commit or try to commit bodily harm to the deceased Milnaf Wilmurna?”

“I object, Your Majesty!” called the prosecutor. “The defense is trying to lead the witness!”

“Objection sustained,” replied Lardeth. As Bujamiso continued his questioning, the prosecutor sat on the tic-tac-toe game.

“Mrs. Hanorfal, did you see Ms. Sho Girla in physical fight with Milnaf Wilmurna?”

“If it pleases Your Grace,” interjected the prosecutor as she stood up, revealing the tic-tac-toe game on her rear end, “may I suggest that the defense allow the witness to testify as to what she saw.” Moru and Larima tried to end the game, but the prosecutor felt their hands and turned to see them. Moru and Larima tried to act like nothing happened.

“I say, Jasna,” said Moru, “what comes after 75?”

“76,” replied Larima.

“That’s the spirit!” agreed Moru.

“Request granted,” said Lardeth. “Proceed with the testimony.”

“Mrs. Hanorfal,” said Bujamiso, “kindly tell the Royal Court what you saw about the murder of Milnaf Wilmurna.”

“Well, it was like this, Mr. Royal-” began Curlandii.

“Address the King as Your Majesty!” hissed Bujamiso.

“Well, it was like this, My Majesty-”

“YOUR Majesty, not My Majesty!”

“Why, don’t you like him?”

“Allow the witness to proceed,” said Lardeth. “We understand her.”

“Thanks, Ol’ Kingaroo! You’re a pal!” After that, she gave her testimony. “Well, me and my gals, we’re musicians. We were tearing up some hot swing music in the orchestra. Sho over there was swinging her clouds. Her sweetie, Milnaf, was inhaling a bottle of hooch at a table,” she took her hat off, “and a hoofer by the name of Dingbat was getting ready to shake his tootsies.” With the amount of old Second Age slang in that sentence, everyone was left confused. The jury couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

“Kindly speak Realm Standard and drop the vernacular,” sighed Bujamiso. Curlandii looked at her hat.

“Vernacular? That’s a derby!”

“Drop the vernacular.” She dropped the hat. “No, no, not that! Talk so the jury can understand!”

“Is everybody dumb?! Say, Kingy, if you let me and my pals kinda act it out for you, we’ll show you just what happened!”

“If the Prosecution and Defense have no objections,” said Lardeth, “We think that’s a splendid idea.”

“No objections,” said the prosecutor.

“No objections,” agreed Bujamiso.

“No objections,” chuckled Curlandii. She then joined her friends on the other end of the throne room as Sho Girla changed her clouds so that everything below her knees and her stomach were exposed. She then formed a cloud boa. Moru put a harmonica in her mouth and blew a note. Larima took up her violin and ran the bow along the strings. Curlandii took up a pair of spoons. Moru then stomped her foot to set the beat, then they played their music as Sho Girla danced and stretched the cloud ball along her body in a teasing manner, giving flirty winks to everyone all the while. Soon, the Maidens stood up and Curlandii exchanged her spoons for a cello and attempted to run her bow across the strings, but it got caught on the strings. She released it and it flew across the room and into the priest’s mouth. She then spun the cello around before she just plucked the strings. Larima continued playing, getting lost in the music and, unbeknownst to her and the priest, used her bow to steal the poor man’s toupee. The toupee then touched her shoulder, and she got a look at it. Her eyes then widened in terror.

“A TARANTULA!” she cried. She swung her bow around, trying to get the toupee off. Moru managed to slap it off, then Curlandii found a hammer and swung it at the toupee. She also managed to smash Moru’s foot. After she hopped around to stop the pain, Moru smacked Curlandii.

“What’s the matter with you?!” she asked. The bailiff then approached the three and Moru swiped his wand from its holster. She fired five magic blasts and the priest realized what she was shooting at! “I killed it!” she announced.

“Stand back!” warned Larima as she used her bow to pick the remains up. “It’s liable to bite you!” Moru then realized what it really was and took it off the bow.

“Tarantula? Shot five holes in the divot!” She smacked Larima away. “Get out of here! Wasted five good sparks-!” The priest then took the ruined toupee out of her hands and put it back on his head.

“I’ll sue you for this!” he threatened.

“Oh, superstitious, eh?” replied Moru.

“Vice-eyed kid, huh?” agreed Curlandii.

“Ladies, you must control your killing instincts,” warned Lardeth. “Proceed with the testimony, please.”

“Proceed!” Moru ordered Curlandii before bonking her with her baton. She then blew into the harmonica and Curlandii plucked the cello’s strings. The two then finished their music as Sho Girla finished her dance routine. She then bowed before reforming her clouds into a slightly more conservative formation.

“That was sure hot, Moru!” said Curlandii as she slapped Moru’s back. Moru then swallowed the harmonica in surprise and coughed, making musical notes escape her. “Hey, Larima, listen!” called Curlandii. Once Larima joined them, Curlandii pressed an area on Moru’s tummy and made music come out. Larima tried and got the same results. They then played her like an old organ before she tried to cough the harmonica up. Curlandii gave her a swift kick and the harmonica came out. “You got it!” cheered Curlandii.

“Please omit the rest of the entertainment and continue,” ordered Lardeth.

Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms (Book 6: The Eternal Age of Unity)

3 Realms 6-22

The day of the party arrived. It would be held in the afternoon, so Lardeth and his lovers milled around a bit. Malnar took care of a few matters of state concerning the Under-realm, but there was nothing that needed her immediate presence there. Lardeth was in his new outfit and taking things easy. He simply snuggled with Arsha and Malnar on the balcony as they waited for Falnii’s portrait sitting to be over. Like Gorfanth, she chose the most important thing to her family. “…You know,” he mused, “there IS something on my mind.”

“What’s that, Princess?” asked Arsha.

“When we get married, how are we gonna split our time up among the Realms? I mean, how will we go from castle to castle?”

“You know that personal Realmgate network Dr. Borg had?” asked Malnar.

“What about it?”

“We’re making one for the castles. That way we can go from castle to castle without a ship.

“Well, that will make things-” Arsha stopped as she looked across the grounds. “…Er, Lardeth, what are you doing over there in your old outfit?” There, coming across the grounds and looking shifty, was Lardeth in his old dress. The Lardeth Arsha and Malnar snuggled with then got a sour look on his face.

“Temnobal!” he hissed.

“I thought he was a full Zephyr,” muttered Malnar.

“He’s supposed to be an actor,” recalled Arsha.

“There’s no way we can get rid of him in time!” groaned Lardeth. Arsha then snapped her fingers.

“Lardeth, does he have any food allergies?” she asked. Lardeth then grinned.

“As a matter of fact, he does! He’s lactose intolerant AND he’s got a peanut allergy!”

“Well, the REAL Lardeth can’t say no to Peanut Butter Ballet ice cream, can he?”

“No, he can’t!”

“You two stall him,” said Arsha. “I’ll get the ice cream!” Arsha dashed off to the kitchens as Lardeth and Malnar then approached Lardeth’s copycat, Temnobal. Temnobal saw Malnar and saw this as an opportunity.

“Malnar, my love!” he called in a dramatic fashion. He then ‘fainted’ in her arms. “Oh, my lovely inferno! It’s horrible! A most vile man is impersonating me and-!” He saw the actual Lardeth. “YOU FIEND!” He got out of Malnar’s arms and pointed an accusing finger at him. “Don’t believe a word he says! He’s an imposter!”

“Oh, come on!” argued Lardeth. “Of all the roles you played, this has to be the least researched!” Malnar decided to play along.

“Oh no!” she mockingly wailed. “Which Lardeth is which?! They’re both the same!”

“Help is on the way!” called Arsha as she brought two custard dishes of ice cream. Temnobal saw it and goggled in horror.

“NOPE!” he yelped and dashed off.

“GUARDS!” called Lardeth. The guards arrived and chased after Temnobal. He jumped into the pond, washing his make up off. Archers fired arrows near him, intending on warning shots. He then fired a magic rope, wrapping it around Malnar, and pulling her to him. He then held a sword at her throat.

“Your letter shamed me in front of my agent!” he shouted at Lardeth. “If I don’t get invited, then no oneARGHAHAHA!” Malnar shoved her hand onto his face and cast a branding spell on him. Her handprint was seared onto his face. He dropped his sword and released Malnar from the pain.

“Now no sane theater will have you!” snarled Malnar. “Hold the Under-Queen hostage, you WILL suffer at her hands!”

“Guards, throw my traitorous ex-boyfriend into the dungeon!” ordered Lardeth. The guards quickly dragged Temnobal away. A few stayed behind to make sure Malnar was okay.

“Your Majesty, I swear-!” Malnar cut the guard off with a raised hand.

“I’m well aware this isn’t normal for the castle,” she said reassuringly. “I’ve been here numerous times. You lot already dealt with the problem. Lardeth’s gonna be well protected when he becomes King.”

“You flatter us, Your Majesty,” said another guard.

“I’m telling it like it is.” The trumpets then sounded.

“The guests are arriving!” realized Arsha.

“Let the party begin!”


Lords and Ladies from all over Wysper City arrived to bid Happy Birthday to Lardeth. Once the day was done, the kings and queens arrived the next day and made their way to the throne room for the Royal Tradition. The future ruler would be the monarch presiding over a comedy trial, then they would be crowned after the trial was completed. This one was a special one as the Three Maidens would be involved. When everyone assembled, Lardeth thumped the Ruling Staff. “We hereby call this court to order!” he called, using the Royal We. “This court shall determine the innocence or guilt of Ms. Sho Girla as she stands accused of murdering her lover, Mrs. Milnaf Wilnurma! Ms. Girla, approach the throne!” A priest stood by with the Codex as a Zephyr woman in a rather flashy outfit placed her hand on it and raised her free hand.

“Doyousolemnlysweartotellthetruththewholetruthandnothingbutthetruth?” the priest said in one breath.

“I do,” said Ms. Girla. The prosecutor, another Zephyr woman, then approached the stand as Ms. Girla sat down.

“What is your name?” she asked.

“Sho Girla,” replied Ms. Girla.

“What is your occupation?”

“I’m a dancer.”

“On the night of Jamfaf the forty-second, were you working at the Flights of Fancy café when this murder was committed?”

“Yes, but I didn’t do it!”

“Then who killed Milnaf Wilmurna?!” The prosecutor was trying to get a reaction.

“I don’t know!” pleaded Ms. Girla.

“Perhaps you’re trying to-!”

“I object, Your Majesty!” called the defense lawyer, an Elf man named Bujamiso, Curlandii’s husband. “I ask that such a question be stricken from the records! It is merely an attempt to influence this intelligent, broad-minded, and most intellectual jury assisting you.” He was referring to the fifty Lords and Ladies seated to Lardeth’s left.

“Objection sustained,” replied Lardeth.

“Thank you, Your Excellency,” said Bujamiso. The prosecutor looked back at Ms. Girla.

“That is all,” she grunted, her strategy discovered. Ms. Girla sat back with her lawyer. A parrot-sized wyvern in a cage screeched.

“Find the letter!” it called.

“Quiet, Wacky,” commanded Bujamiso. He then turned to Lardeth. “If it pleases Your Grace, I would like to introduce my three main witnesses; Hanorfal, Finbragill, and Hanorfal.” He turned to see that their seat was empty. Annoyance crossed his face. “They were here a minute ago! Would you pardon me, Your Majesty? I’ll be right back!” He ran out of the throne room to find her witnesses. After a few minutes, they ran into the throne room. They were the Three Maidens dressed in gowns instead of their usual Elven peasantry clothes. Curlandii’s ensemble included a bowler hat and a cane for fashion’s sake. They ran through the gate at the end of the aisle with the gate knocking into Moru’s knees. Curlandii dodged it and stuck her tongue out. Bujamiso then locked the gate and swung himself over it. Curlandii then rattled the gate and tried to swing herself over it but ended up falling to the floor. As Moru and Larima picked her up, Lardeth thumped the Staff of Ruling to call order.

“Will you ladies,” he said, “please try to be a little more quiet in this court?”

“Certainly, Kingaloo!” replied Curlandii. “The gate is locked!”

“Will you please step forward?” Bujamiso asked Curlandii. She stepped forward one step. “No, no, no! Prepare yourself for the witness box!” Curlandii then dusted herself off and pointed the end of her cane at Bujamiso while rapidly knocking her bowler against her scalp. Moru then shoved her to the stand. The priest then approached her with the Codex.

Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms (Book 6: The Eternal Age of Unity)

3 Realms 6-21

The Fae Railways became a huge success for the Republic. After a few days, businesses and farms across the forest saw an uptick in their profits. Because of that, Realmfleet assistance was now lessened. Malnar and Gorfanth returned to their private ship and left the forest with the Endeavor. Arsha and Malnar stayed in communication with each other as both were asked to go to Wysper City. “You think Lardeth picked a coronation date?” asked Arsha.

“Why else would we head there?” replied Malnar.

“Well, it IS his birthday tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but…” Malnar trailed off as her eyes went wide.

“…YOU FORGOT?!” wailed Arsha.

“I WAS BUSY BEING QUEEN!” argued Malnar.

“IT’S LITERALLY THE BIGGEST SOCIAL EVENT OF EVERY FELOMPHA’S LIFE!”

“Well, did YOU get him something?!”

“Yeah, actually! So did Gorfanth, Falnii, and Foresna! Malnar, I can’t believe it!” She then drew in a breath. “Okay, when we land, we’re gonna have to spend the whole day looking for something to give him!”


Back at the castle, things were in a hectic plight. Lardeth’s sisters were trying to get everything set up for the party the next day. The twins, Welmaf and Eemaf, looked like they were gonna tear their hair out if their hair wasn’t made of clouds. “This is ridiculous!” wailed Welmaf. “We gotta get a birthday party AND a coronation going!”

“Why Lardeth and our parents picked THIS week,” grumbled Eemaf, “I’ll never understand. The kitchen staff are being rushed off their legs, the maids are gonna be sick after being around their cleaning supplies for so long, and the butlers are gonna lose their voice announcing the guests’ arrivals!” A butler then ran up to them.

“Your Highnesses, good news!” he cheered. “The cake is complete!”

“Oh, thank the Heights!” sighed Welmaf. She turned to Eemaf. “That cake’s gonna be the talk of the city! 306 layers and all of them a marbled cake!”

“Oh dear,” gulped the butler as the head baker wheeled the cake in.

“What’s with the ‘oh dear’?” asked Welmaf in a warning tone.

“Here we are, Your Highness!” called the head baker. “A marbled cake with 306 candles!”

“I said His Highness’s cake needs to have 306 LAYERS, not candles!” snapped the butler. “That looks more like a confectionary porcupine!”

“You call it what you like, I call it a fire hazard,” snarked Eemaf. “You said the cake IS marbled, yes?”

“That’s right,” said the head baker.

“Well, you’ve got one layer already,” said Welmaf. “Go tell the kitchens to make 305 more layers.” The head baker wheeled off and brought the mistake cake with him.

“There’s no WAY the cake will be assembled in time!” complained Eemaf. Just then, A Zephyr man (the Royal Troubadour) entered the room. “Sir, did you finish Lardeth’s birthday song?” The Troubadour strummed his lute before he answered in song.

I have cogitated

Correlated

Syncopated

And related

Orchestrated

And created

Songs to please your brother!

“…Does that mean you finished?”

I have finished.”

“Let’s hear it.” The Troubadour strummed again.

It’s Prince Lardeth’s date of birth

Let bells ring out the news!

We’ll celebrate with joy and mirth

And a party I suppoose!” Eemaf grabbed his shoulder.

“What was that last word?” she hissed.

Suppoose, Your Grace.”

“OUT!” The Troubadour fled the room, breezing past Lardeth as he came in.

“Grief!” gulped Lardeth. “Our parents leave the castle for one minute and you girls feel rushed!”

“Oh, ha HA!” snarled Welmaf. “You know, it ain’t exactly easy planning a birthday party and a coronation at the same time! Some of the potential guests still haven’t replied!”

“Speaking of potential guests, where are your lovers?” asked Eemaf.

“They’re looking around the city,” replied Lardeth. “If I had to hazard a guess, last-minute gift shopping. Perfect for me as I’m heading to South Beach for my Royal Portrait. I already got my dress all planned. Once that’s all done and Arsha and the others are finished with their errands, we’re just gonna tool around the entertainment district. Maybe some mini golf, the arcades, go see a play, something like that.” The twins sighed in relief.

“All right, that’ll give us some breathing-” Welmaf was interrupted by a maid rushing up to them with a letter in her hands.

“Your Highness!” she called to Lardeth. “Your Highness, a letter came for you!”

“Who’s it from?” asked Lardeth.

“From Lord Alomela Temnobal.” Lardeth’s face darkened at that name.

“As in my creepily possessive actor ex-boyfriend?”

“I’m afraid so,” said the maid. Lardeth took the letter from her hand and opened.

“‘Dear Sweet Lardy,’” Lardeth read aloud, “‘it has come to my attention that I have yet to receive an invitation to your upcoming birthday party and coronation. This is an understandable oversight as the mail delivery and your staff are saturated with-’” He didn’t even finish the insult as he just turned it to ash. The maid swept it up quickly.

“I’ll put this in the ice melt mixture, shall I?” she said.

“Please do,” replied Lardeth. The Troubadour came back.

My Lord, a singing message has made

Its way to the castle gates!” he sang.

“And it’s from?” asked Lardeth.

From Lord Alomela Temnobal

The one you won’t invite to your ball.” Lardeth’s face darkened again.

“Any insults towards you lot?”

The foulest.”

“Then don’t waste your singing talents on that. I don’t wanna hear it!”

Very wise, Your Grace.”

“Lardeth! Out the window!” called Welmaf and Eemaf.

“Now what?!” snarled Lardeth.

“Up in the sky! A broom rider making a smoke message!”

“‘I eagerly await your embrace, Lardy-pie’,” grunted Lardeth as he read the message aloud. He then fired a cloud dispelling charm, making the message vanish. “He can wait for all time and he won’t be in my embrace again! That insulting jackass isn’t allowed anywhere near the castle and that’s that! He’s not invited! In fact, I’m gonna make it plain to him! Ms. Lanya!”

“Yes, Your Highness?” asked the maid.

“Tell the Royal Painter I’m gonna be a few minutes late! I’ve got a letter to write!”

“Very good, My Lord.”


Lord Temnobal, a slender Zephyr man, was preening himself in his jewel-encrusted room. He twirled as he looked in the mirror, then shook his head. “No, a tutu-style dress just ain’t doing it,” he muttered. His clouds then shifted into another shape, a mermaid-style dress. “…I suppose that works, but with this hair?” He then ran his hands through the clouds that made up his hair, occasionally forming smaller ones and placing them in his hair. “…I think I got the general shape, but-” someone then knocked on each corner of his door. “My solitary palace is ready for visitors!” he replied. A plump Zephyr woman, his agent, then came into the room. “AH! My darling and wonderful agent! What news?! Tell me, is there a stage that requires my presence?”

“Actually, my news is bad,” answered his agent as she pulled out a letter. “A letter came for you and-”

“Darling, carrying letters is for my staff, not a lady of good-repute like you!”

“Well, it’s from Lardeth and, given the exposed cold greeting, I thought you would want to take care of it at once.”

“My beloved Lardy-cake?!” He took the letter and saw the cold greeting. “…That’s definitely his handwriting, but just ‘To Lord Temnobal’? My dear agent, you’re right, that IS cold.” He opened the letter and read the rest of it aloud. “You have written forty-two letters, made three singing messages, and sent a broom rider to harass my castle.’ Harass? ‘My family, the staff you insulted, and I have gotten your message, so I’ve taken the liberty of writing you an order to…’” Lord Temnobal goggled at the end of the sentence, “‘to STOP?!’ What?! ‘I gave my castle’s staff permission to open any and all mail from you and give me a quick summary of your messages before burning them.’ BURNING THEM?! ‘Your last few were way too threatening.’ Okay, I MAY have been a bit harsh. ‘You said you’d vandalize the castle, burn the countryside, poison the rivers, and turn everyone purple.’ Lardy-love, you know I never mean that. ‘In the short time I’ve known you, you have proven to never mean such threats, so you certainly don’t mean these ones.’ I DID TOO! ‘Whether or not you did is unimportant. No invitations were sent out to you as you’re NOT invited. You have insulted my parents, my staff, and my future spouses. You are too possessive and you are a coward who hides behind his makeup. If I catch you at my party, you WILL lose your financial status and I will see to it that you never act again, you oversized, lily-livered ham. Lardeth Felompha, Crown-prince of the Over-realm.’ OF ALL THE NERVE!” Lord Temnobal punched a hole in the wall in rage. “All right, Lardeth! You wanna play hardball?! We’ll play hardball!” He opened his makeup kit. “Time for my greatest role of all!”

Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms (Book 6: The Eternal Age of Unity)

3 Realms 6-20

Emfam, Lardeth, and his lovers met with Galnyar and Keshnakh in the throne room. “This is absolutely ridiculous!” snarled Galnyar. “Emfam, if I didn’t know better, I’d say that Baldra was once one of the Zephyrs’ old Fae Killers!”

“That was not of Over-realm design,” replied Emfam. “It was something that an Under-realm man built as a means of espionage for the first Under-Splitters during the War of Stars.”

“And you have proof of it?” asked Keshnakh.

“Malnar and Gorfanth are coming with that proof tomorrow morning,” replied Emfam. “I HAD intended for them to arrive in Wysper City on the day of Lardeth’s coronation, but this matter takes precedence.” Arsha and her lovers looked at each other, pondering on what could possibly prompt Malnar and Gorfanth’s presence.


Malnar and Gorfanth were led to the site of Baldra’s wrath by Lardeth’s parents. Malnar stepped forward and placed her hand on it for only a moment before she recoiled. “That’s the last of them, all right!” she confirmed. “We have to destroy it!”

“Destroy it?!” protested Galnyar. “That’s a cultural landmark!”

“With all due respect, Emperor Almaydia, that’s not important,” said Malnar. “Not with the last of the Splitter Seeing Stones sitting here.” Galnyar blinked.

“…A Seeing Stone?” he gulped. “You mean…the Lost Seeing Stone?!”

“It was never accounted for,” explained Malnar.

“What’s so bad about a Seeing Stone?” asked Arsha. “We use them every day to call someone.”

“Not this kind, Foxy,” corrected Malnar. “This is the more dangerous early one, the one powered by a soul!” As Malnar and the Felomphas gathered around it, Gorfanth explained the story behind it.

“Baldra,” he began, “was an Under-realm man who joined the first Splitters. He was so good at espionage, he fancied himself a great actor. While it COULD have been a boast, one thing he really was good at was magic.

“Back then, the original Seeing Stones were powered by their creator’s very essence. Baldra learned how to make them and poured his very malice into them, making four hundred of them. He gifted the Seeing Stones to the rulers of the other Realms, even going so far as to leave a few scattered around. When he became the head of the Under-splitters, he put his plan into action.

“He used them as an intelligence network, spying on the other Realms and forming plans to upend them. That was what ultimately started the War of Stars and ended the First Age of Unity. He effortlessly blended in with the humans of the other Realms and managed to manipulate them to his own ends. The Stones were used to plant his thoughts and desires into those that owned them and would kill those that tried to destroy them. What he didn’t know was that a few of his own local Splitters had given their enemies an idea.

“It was around then when the first skyships were built. They were used to conduct plans and soon were equipped with weapons capable of aerial bombardment. They used a Seeing Stone against him and quickly routed him, thus killing him, and ending the War of Stars. The All-realm Royals made a secret pact to find the other Seeing Stones, but they were never all accounted for…until today.” A man’s scream then erupted from the Seeing Stone before it crumbled to dust. “And thus, Baldra’s evil really is dead.”

“That did it,” agreed Emfam. Galnyar stared at the remains of the Seeing Stone.

“For so long, my family has allowed the Fae near something that hid itself as well as Baldra did,” he muttered. “Perhaps it planted Baldra’s name into the first Fae that discovered it long before my great-grandfather was born.”


The revelation of the former good-luck charm’s origins had shaken everyone in the Eastern District to their core. No one wanted to stay there anymore. The mass exodus led everyone to the other districts and the former politicians that ran the place (at the request of the people they served) had it cordoned off so that no one could resettle it until it was time once again. The rails and machines were ripped up, but the buildings were left to the elements, letting time dispose of them and returning the materials to nature. Galnyar was sitting on a couch as looked at a map of the Drelda Forest before he marked a red x over the Eastern District. “We should have left that part of the forest…alone,” he muttered. Keshnakh then glided up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You know, Mama always felt odd about the Eastern District.” He felt the train of her dress wrapping his legs in comforting clouds.

“Maybe it WAS a mistake to have the Eastern District form,” she said, “but time can heal that kind of wound.”

“You say that with such surety.”

“From experience. Oddly enough, this wasn’t my first encounter with a Seeing Stone. I was only 150 at the time when one tried to control my dads. Orbak had it destroyed with Elgrad’s help, but it took me a while to get over the experience.” She then snuggled onto the couch with him. They then laid themselves in a manner where they took up the whole couch and she rested on top of him. She stroked his chest and sighed contentedly. He then ran his hand through her cloudy hair and sighed happily. “Besides,” she continued, “no one got seriously hurt during its rampage. You allowing the Eastern District to be closed when the people who lived there asked for it to be closed proved you listen to the people that matter most to any civilization. This isn’t a setback to your rule of the Republic.” Galnyar then kissed her on the lips, even enjoying the feeling of her tusks on his mouth.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, my love,” he said as they repeatedly kissed, “but I thank the now mortal Divine Ones that our paths came together.”


It turned out that the abandoning of the Eastern District was both a societal and economic boon to the Fae Republic. New techniques were shared with the other districts and the railways didn’t have to stretch so far across the Drelda Forest. The Capital Tree served as the main hub for all the Fae Gauge Railways. As planned, there were five gauges for each railway: Fae Minimum, Fae Narrow, Fae Standard, Fae Wide, and Fae Maximum. The main station for every railway was the last to be built and the grand opening was a significant event. Galnyar and Keshnakh’s carriage was brought to a large red ribbon. Galnyar and Keshnakh left the carriage and shook hands with each of the politicians, railway board members, and railway controllers. Galnyar was then handed a set of massive scissors. He stood by the ribbon and began his speech. “Gentle-beings of the Realms,” he said, “it gives me great pleasure to announce the opening of the first Fae railways. We have had many trials and tribulations in getting here, but we prevailed in creating the newest forms of traffic for our wonderous Republic. To that end, I hereby declare Drelda Capital Station OPEN!” He used the scissors to cut the ribbon and the crowd cheered along with the engines whistling.

Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms (Book 6: The Eternal Age of Unity)

3 Realms 6-19

The rain stopped and work in the quarry resumed once the ground was dry enough. It was unfortunate that no one bothered to check up on Baldra, but it was a good thing Foresna visited the quarry that day. He looked up and goggled in horror. “Baldra’s moving!” he called.

“Don’t be so silly!” replied Velmar. “It can’t!” But it could…and it did! The boulder came tumbling down onto the track! The workers quickly got out of the way, but the machinery was crushed under Baldra’s weight. “…Sweet Steam Pipes!” gulped Velmar. “That was close!”

“Come on, we gotta raise the alarm!” urged Foresna. Velmar, her crew, and Foresna quickly made it to the signal box and told the signalwoman the situation. A warning was sent down the line, halting all traffic until the boulder could be moved. The signalwoman then got a bit of bad news concerning the repair crews and approached Foresna’s group.

“Guess who are laid up with their own problems in the Western District?” she grumbled.

“I don’t believe it!” complained Velmar’s firewoman. “You mean help won’t be coming?!” The driver tapped her chin in thought.

“…Tell you what, we’ll make a battering ram,” she said. “We load a train of freight cars up to their maximum weight tolerance and use them as a battering ram. That should knock Baldra aside.”

“Or knock us silly!” argued the firewoman.

“Do you have a better idea?” asked Velmar.

“Yes, we wait for the proper authorities to deal with this mess!”

“We can’t afford to wait,” replied Foresna.

“Mr. Falshenda’s right,” agreed the signalwoman. “We don’t know when or if the authorities will arrive. The longer we wait, the longer the Plan is halted. We have to get Baldra out of the way.”


Velmar got a train that was the heaviest she could push at high speeds. Normally, it would be too dangerous, but she only needed a few seconds to go fast. She got into position behind the train and was backed up to get a good run. “All right,” she said, “whenever we’re ready!”

“Three!” counted Foresna. “Two! One! CHARGE!” Velmar dug her wheels into the rails and charged the train at Baldra. The results…were disappointing. The freight cars and their contents were smashed, and their remains were scattered all over the tracks.

“Depths-fire and save matches!” fumed Velmar.

“Well, we had to try something,” remarked Foresna. Just then, Kelofel came up to them.

“What’s going on here?” she asked. “I heard Baldra landed on the tracks and is blocking the quarry.”

“You heard right,” said Velmar. “We tried to knock it aside, but only succeeded in smashing up freight cars.”

“Well, that’s why I’m here,” chuckled Kelofel. “I had express permission from the Emperor himself to clear it in…‘my preferred manner’, I believe he said.”

“That I did,” replied Galnyar’s voice as he came up to the group.

“Her preferred-?” The driver then realized what he and Kelofel were proposing! “No! Not explosives! My Lord, please reconsider it!”

“I initially did on the way here, then reconsidered it all over again when I heard about your battering ram incident. Good in theory, but it didn’t do so well in practice. Much as I hate to rob the Eastern District of their good luck charm, we have to blow Baldra up. Kelofel, get to it.”


Kelofel set the explosives near Baldra and wired them up to a fuse. “There we go!” she said once she was done. “One match strike and Baldra will be blown sky high!”

“Sky high is TOO high for my liking,” grumbled Foresna.

“All right, let’s light this sucker!” cheered Kelofel. She struck a match and lit the fuse, then joined the group while counting. She made it to six when she joined them. “Five! Four! Three! Two! One! FIRE!” The explosives went off. Baldra disappeared in a cloud of smoke and rubble. Once the aftershock passed, Kelofel motioned that it was okay to look. The cloud was still there.

“…Did…did it work?” asked Foresna.

“…my sleep…” whispered a voice.

“Whose sleep?” asked Galnyar.

“That wasn’t me!” gulped Foresna.

“…my sleep!” repeated the whisper in a harsher tone.

“Well, it’s definitely a man’s voice!” gulped Kelofel.

“You…disturbed…MY SLEEP!” The cloud suddenly vanished, revealing that Baldra was still standing, but it had a man’s face on it, contorted in rage! The face disappeared, then Baldra started moving!

“SWEET HEIGHTS! RUN!” shouted Galnyar. Velmar threw everyone into her cab and quickly reversed, putting some distance between her and the runaway boulder! She could still see it!

“Sweet Merciful Mordek! IT’S STILL ON THE LINE!” she wailed as she raced along the tracks. She rounded a bend and lost sight of Baldra. “…Okay!” she shuddered. “That was a-!”

“HOW DID IT GET BEHIND US?!” cried her driver. Velmar shot forward with Baldra in pursuit! She then saw a set of points with one path leading uphill. The signalman saw the danger and changed Velmar’s path to the uphill line. Baldra thundered down the other line. Velmar was relieved that she and her crew and passengers survived. The signalman called to her from his signal box.

“I already sounded the alarm!” he said. “Get after that thing!” She went back over the points and took off in pursuit, pouring every ounce of steam into her cylinders.


A team of ants pulled a carriage alongside the rail line, carrying Arsha and Lardeth to the quarry. It was a nice, sunny day and it felt perfect for a carriage ride. Arsha’s ears then flicked as she heard rumbling. “…Earthquake?” she muttered. She and Lardeth then looked out to see Baldra leave the tracks and roll down their road!

“YIKES!” shrieked Lardeth as the ants were turned around and urged to go at top speed. These were the fastest silver ants around and they easily pulled the carriage ahead of the boulder. The carriage driver saw an uphill road and got the ants to go up it. The road ran alongside the track. Once they stopped at a safe distance, Baldra continued on its path down the hill. Velmar rushed past them as Foresna explained the situation as quick as he could.

“Alarm’s already sounded! We’re after it!”

“Go get ‘em!” cheered Arsha.

“Arsha, the port’s down there!” yelped Lardeth. “My parents are supposed to be arriving there!”

“And Falnii’s supposed to meet them!” realized Arsha. “Quickly! After that boulder!” The carriage driver wasted no time in urging the ants on.


Rellmeer and Felfar were on an open-topped automatic coach as it coasted along the rail line. That section was up a hill, a hill that Baldra crested once it rounded the bend up on top. “Is that Baldra?!” gulped Felfar.

“It is! And it’s running loose!” Rellmeer quickly reversed the coach, but the speed wasn’t enough to outrun the boulder, just enough the maintain the gap. The coach then suddenly went on an upline. Baldra rolled by and smashed a water tower. Rellmeer released a breath. “Rather a smash than a squash.”

“That thing’s heading to the port!” gulped Felfar.

“You take the coach after it!” directed Rellmeer. “I’ll fly overhead!” Rellmeer flew out of the coach as Felfar took the controls, the pair of them chasing after it.


Falnii greeted all of Lardeth’s parents and was leading them out of the port when they heard rumbling. “This isn’t a tectonically active area,” muttered Endram.

“Runaway boulder!” warned Ufnamfa. Baldra’s rampage couldn’t be stopped!

“It’s heading right for us!” warned Falnii.

“GET OUT OF HERE!” shouted Emfam as she, Jeefef, and Olmarfa tackled everyone out of the way. Baldra then crashed into the port, smashing the buildings and ships. Fires sprang up everywhere. The uninjured people quickly cast fire extinguishing spells and fought the fires as the fire crews arrived. Once everything was put out, everyone could see the damage Baldra had caused. There, standing in the center of the ruined port, was an undamaged Baldra. More of its brown coating had fallen off and revealed an orb of obsidian with ruby ore flowing like lava through it. “…Baldra, your stones have caused enough damage at the end of the First Age of Unity!” hissed Emfam.

Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms (Book 6: The Eternal Age of Unity)

3 Realms 6-18

Foresna and Arsha went to the quarry to see the operation continuing. They both said “hi” to Baldra, but something felt…off, for lack of a better word. They didn’t feel lucky. Yes, the day went on with no incident, but there was an odd feeling surrounding them. Falnii continued her research but noticed that Arsha and Foresna’s expressions matched Lardeth’s whenever the subject of Baldra came up. She approached Lardeth one day. “Something I can do for you, Fluffy?” he asked.

“It…might not be fully legal,” replied Falnii.

“…What’s wrong?”

“Princess, I think I need to use your family’s library, all of it, even the forbidden section. The usual libraries and databases are only turning up the legends surrounding Baldra.”

“Falnii, I’m not so sure I can condone that. That knowledge has been taken out of the public eye for a reason. If you really want to use the forbidden section, you need to take that up with Mama Pofomofo, Mama Jeefef, and Dad. They’re the ones who have the keys to that section.”

“…All right, I’ll see what I can do.”


Falnii called up Pofomofo, Jeefef, and Endram later in the day. The two Queens and their King cheered when their future daughter-in-law popped up. “Falnii, it’s great to see you!” greeted Pofomofo.

“I heard that Galnyar’s got a big industrial project going,” remarked Jeefef. “What is it?”

“They’re making their first railways,” explained Falnii. “The quarry in their Eastern District is producing a lot of stone for ballast. They intend to have the railways run on the ground AND through the forest canopy.”

“Well! That’s certainly an ambitious aim!” chuckled Endram. “But why are you calling us? Couldn’t Galnyar have told us?”

“He was gonna tell you tomorrow,” replied Falnii, “but something that Arsha, Lardeth, and Foresna found near the quarry have put them on edge and I felt I needed to do some research on it.”

“What’s that?” asked Pofomofo.

“Well, there’s a massive boulder sitting on one of the cliffs above the quarry that’s, and I’m quoting what Arsha once said, watching the whole operation. It’s supposed to be good luck to say hello to it, but we’re not so sure.”

“It’s watching you?” asked Endram. “How can that be? Boulders stopped having eyes when the living rocks all faded into the After-realm.”

“Well, Your Majesty, there’s something strange about this boulder. The locals call it Baldra and-”

“Baldra?!” yelped Jeefef as panic struck her, Pofomofo, and Endram. “Where did they get that name?!”

“Y-Your Majesty?!” gulped Falnii.

“Ambassador Loftanaf, where did the Fae get that name?!” demanded Jeefef.

“Jeefef, easy!” urged Endram. He then turned back to Falnii. “Falnii, describe the boulder.”

“Er, i-it’s spherical, almost l-like it w-was carved!” said Falnii. “I-It’s brown thanks to t-time, but y-you can s-still see s-some sort of red and black ore!”

“It has to be!” muttered Pofomofo.

“Falnii, get the workers to leave the quarry until we can get ‘Baldra’!” ordered Endram. “All nine of us are heading to the forest!”


“Stop quarry production?!” Galnyar protested when Falnii told him and the Quarry Manager the news. “With all due respect, the Plan’s at too critical a stage for that to happen!”

“Emperor Almaydia, please,” urged Falnii, “I know it’s unorthodox, but the Felomphas think that Baldra’s dangerous!”

“That quarry’s the only place where we can get the best ballast! There are rail lines all across the canopy that need to be built! I can’t halt production now!”

“May I intrude?” asked Lardeth as he peeked into the throne room.

“Lardeth, your parents know about Baldra,” explained Falnii as Galnyar waved him in. “They’re all on their way.”

“All of them?”

“And they’ve asked me to halt quarry production!” explained Galnyar.

“What?!” said Lardeth. “Okay, that boulder gives me the willies, yes, but that shouldn’t be any cause for halting production! I just saw that new machine you lot made!”

“New machine?” asked Falnii.

“It’s a rock collection machine that gets the really stubborn stones that managed to weather the explosives. The two drills on its front scoop the rocks out of the cliffside and onto the ground at its sides.”

“With all due respect to your parents, Lardeth, I can’t close the quarry so hastily,” decided Galnyar.


Something DID halt quarry production, though it wasn’t due to anyone’s control. Rain arrived in the forest. To us, it would have been just a light drizzle. To people the size of the Fae, though, it was a deluge. The quarry had to close so no one could get caught in the eventual flooding. While the rain came down, Arsha and Falnii visited the quarry as the workers were covering the machinery so it wouldn’t get damaged. Arsha was casting a shield so the large raindrops wouldn’t hit them. Velmar was relocated to higher ground to avoid flood damage, since her own shed would be washed out. The floods hadn’t come yet, so Arsha and Falnii stood on the tracks below Baldra. They stood away from the cliff, a good thing too, as a large slab of rock landed on the ground near them. The two women yelped in surprise. “Hoo boy,” gulped Arsha, trying to make herself the more stoic of the two. “We better get out of here. The rain’s loosening up a lot of rocks. Come on.” She led Falnii up a path, continually casting the shield. Falnii dared a look back at Baldra. She gasped in horror. “What’s wrong?” asked Arsha.

“There’s a-!” Falnii stopped as she pointed at Baldra. “…W-W-Well, there WAS a…a face in it!”

“A face?”

“Y-Yeah! A man’s face s-staring at us! Arsha, I think that rock slab was Baldra wanting us to go away!” Arsha tried to come up with reassurances that it couldn’t have been, but her efforts were in vain.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” she said, finally giving up. “This place is giving me the creeps too!” The two women headed up the path and made their way to the Capital Tree.

Categories
The Three Realms The Three Realms (Book 6: The Eternal Age of Unity)

3 Realms 6-17

With Realmfleet help, Galnyar’s plan to create the first Fae railways (dubbed the Fae Rail Project) was well underway. A quarry from the Eastern District of the forest was contracted with making railway ballast. The rocks had to be cut up in irregular shapes so vegetation wouldn’t grow between the rail ties and would lock together so the tracks would be stable. The Lunar Ridge Quarry was the most productive and had an excitable demolitions expert to manage rock extraction. The expert was a Sprite woman named Kelofel who was one of the few members of the Borg family that was granted amnesty, given that she fought against the Realm Trinity Empire later in the Final War. Something about an explosion always made her giddy. Lardeth was watching the whole operation. An explosion rocked the quarry and Kelofel cheered as the rocks fell to the ground. Once everything settled, an inspection team headed off to make sure all the explosives went off. “That was marvelous!” cheered Kelofel. “Absolutely fantastic!” She turned to the inspection team. “You see, lads?! That’s how I did it back during the War! That is the beauty and majesty of well-placed and well-timed explosives!” Lardeth turned to the quarry’s new engine, a tank engine Mechanica woman named Velmar.

“How is it that she’s never caused a serious accident?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” remarked Velmar. “But she IS a professional and she takes pride in her work.”

“So do I,” said Lardeth, “but I’ve never had the urge to blow something up, even during the War, even when the mission called for it.”

“Fair point. Still, Kelofel’s one of the best demolition experts I’ve seen since I was built. …Then again, she’s the only one I met so far.”

“Oh, that’s well-deserved praise. I worked with her once or twice. She really is one of the best. No matter the size of the rock she brings down, it never damages the rails. That’s a true miracle.”

“A true miracle?” asked Kelofel as she approached the two. “Talking about me, are we?”

“We were,” chuckled Lardeth.

“Well, you can tell me about it when the day’s done. The site’s safe for you to collect the stone.”

“And ALL the explosives went off?” asked Lardeth, still a little worried.

“Well, if it didn’t, Your Highness, you’ll be the first to know!” joked Kelofel.

“…Oddly enough, that statement only makes me uneasy.”

“Oh, lighten up, Lardeth!” chuckled Velmar. “I’m sure everything is safe!”

“Feel free to check,” offered Lardeth.

“All right, I will!”

“Don’t worry,” assured Kelofel, “I’m ninety-eight percent sure all the explosives went off.” This time it was Velmar’s turn to be uneasy.

“…What about the remaining two percent?!” she gulped.

“Don’t panic, no one’s died on the jobs I’ve been on, skin or steel. …I mean, the only times that happened were against the Borg family.”

“…You mean-?”

“No! I know what you’re going to ask, and no! The Borg family is dead! The instant I get married; I’m taking my husband’s last name!”

“Aren’t there those in the Borg family you still love?” asked Lardeth.

“The only ones I loved,” replied Kelofel, “are currently enjoying their amnesty and are eager to give up the Borg name. The Borg family died when Cytanek died.”

“…I’m sorry for-” began Velmar.

“It’s all right, It’s just…still raw for me. I shouldn’t have snapped like that. You didn’t know.” Kelofel’s smile then came back. “That’s why I throw myself into my work! It’s the best way for me to put some distance between me and the Borg name.”

“Well, we all better follow your example,” declared Velmar. “Now, I’m gonna go check to make sure it’s safe, just to be sure.”

“Good on you!” cheered Kelofel. “All the same, if I’m wrong, it was nice knowing you!”

“WHAT?!”


All the explosives DID go off, so the site was safe. Lardeth was perplexed at how calm the inspectors were. “How are you not terrified at Kelofel’s attitude?” he asked a Sprite woman.

“Easy, we all said ‘hi’ to Baldra when we started the job,” explained the Sprite.

“Baldra? Who’s Baldra?”

“That boulder up there.” The Sprite pointed up to a massive boulder on a high cliff. It looked like a perfect sphere.

“…How did nature form that?” muttered Lardeth.

“There are many theories surrounding that,” explained the Sprite. “One of them, the ones tourists love, is that it isn’t REALLY a natural thing, but something a woman carved for herself as a charm to ward us off back when the Fae hated Big-folk. The story says that the woman was named Baldra, so when she left it behind before the Fae Republic formed, we simply called the stone Baldra. We don’t really know, but the local legend is that if you say hello to Baldra, you’ll have good luck throughout the day. Everyone in the Eastern District always says hello to her when they get the chance.” Lardeth arched a cloudy eyebrow.

“Pardon me for saying this,” he said, “but it doesn’t look like time was all that kind to the land surrounding Baldra.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, the ground looks unstable and…well…I feel…odd about Baldra.”

“I assure you, Your Highness; the ground has remained stable throughout the entirety of the Republic.”

“I guess I’m gonna have to take your word for it,” mumbled Lardeth.


“You never met Baldra before?” asked Arsha when Lardeth told her about the day, as well as Foresna and Falnii.

“No, and I frankly wish I never did,” remarked Lardeth.

“Why?” asked Foresna.

“It’s partially the stone and…okay, this is gonna sound odd, but I SWEAR I heard the name ‘Baldra’ before.”

“Maybe I can find something,” offered Falnii.

“If it can give me peace of mind on that front, then go ahead.” Falnii kissed his cheek, then headed off.

“Well, I, for one, want to see Baldra for myself!” declared Foresna.

“Well, I’m heading to that part of the forest myself,” said Arsha. “I’m sure I can take you along.”

“Take care,” warned Lardeth.