Loki pulled back a bit of the cover on one of the paintings, then slowly covered it back up. “…I thought you said that you had examples of the Old Masters, Joker,” he hissed.
“I do!” protested the Joker.
“Then which of the Old Masters is J. Todd?” Loki yanked the cover off to reveal that it was a relatively recently-done abstract painting with the artist’s name on the lower right corner! The Joker had a horrible thought and pulled back the covers to reveal more abstract paintings with artists like D. Grayson, B. Gordon, A. Pennyworth, D. Wayne, and so on! The Joker returned his attention to the phone call.
“YOU CAPED CREEP!” he shouted. “YOU SWITCHED PAINTINGS ON ME! THESE ARE NOTHING MORE THAN KINDERGARTEN DRAWINGS!”
“I’ll have you know,” replied Batman, “those people worked hard on those paintings. Besides, a Kindergartener’s mind could have anticipated you and Loki’s every move. This caper was more obvious than any I’ve had to solve.” Loki overheard that and grabbed the phone.
“You can say that over the phone, Mortal!” snarled the ticked-off Asgardian. “If you weren’t hiding behind this thing, you’d know the wrath of Loki!”
“Then demonstrate it to us!” challenged Batman as he and his group crashed through the window or burst from the door!
“Stay where you are!” called the Doctor. “We have you covered!”
“Lights out!” called the Joker as he hit the light switch, plunging the room into darkness.
“Activate infra-red!” Iron Man called. His suit’s eyes turned red. Batman tapped the side of his cowl and activated night vision. Wolverine had all of his senses enhanced, so his hearing and smell helped him in the darkened fight. Iron Man then deployed drones that shone a light for the Doctor, Tysar, and Wonder Woman. The Joker tried to whack a frying pan on Wolverine’s skull, but it snapped at the handle and only gave Wolverine a minor headache.
“…Huh, you really DO have a hard head,” remarked the Joker.
“Damn straight, bub!” Wolverine decked the Joker with enough force to knock him into Loki. That gave the Doctor enough to jab her pinky finger under Loki’s chin and paralyze him long enough for Batman to deck him! Both tricksters were now in a heap, groaning in pain.
“…That was…remarkably simplistic,” said the Doctor.
The Joker and Loki were handcuffed. Normal handcuffs for the Joker and special Asgardian handcuffs for Loki that Thor had commissioned the Asgardian smiths to make for the Avengers to use on their most powerful villains. “Thor will be coming to take you away and hide the Time Stone,” Iron Man explained to Loki.
“Why you let a lunatic like the Joker learn about the Infinity Stones,” growled Woman, “I’ll never understand. You realize he was going to betray you, yes?”
“How?” asked Loki. “His attempt at betrayal wouldn’t have compared to mine.”
“I don’t know,” remarked the Doctor. “Jokerized Daleks would certainly do it.”
“…I’m sorry, did you say Jokerized DALEKS?” asked Loki.
“He’d snatch them from my time, if you’d care to know,” explained Wonder Woman. Loki then turned on the Joker.
“Then what was the point of the painting theft?!” he shouted.
“A rough idea on where and when to send my Jokerized Daleks to,” replied the Joker. “You have to admit, having cackling squids in tanks causing terror during the Renaissance would have been funny!”
“That’s too severe of a breach of the laws of time!” protested Loki. “And it would make it hard for you to gloat after the event, even with the Time Stone! With Omega running around, I wouldn’t do something that insane!”
“Perhaps you can tell me where you heard about Omega returning,” said the Doctor. “You know that if he regains his full might, he’ll take over all of time and space.”
“I only saw him once as he fled his then-hiding place on Karn,” revealed Loki. “Not out of fear of the Sisterhood, but with intent to go elsewhere to conduct his plans. All the Time Stone could tell me as I retrieved it from Karn was that he went in the direction of Irk. When during its history, I cannot say.”
“The Irken Homeworld, hm?” quizzed the Doctor. “You realize I’ll have to confirm your words.”
“Pah! You’re too wound tight, Doctor!” scoffed the Joker. Batman then approached.
“A SHIELD helicarrier’s coming to collect Loki,” he said. “You, Joker, are going back to Arkham.”
“Yeah, sure, put me in the looney bin like always!” cackled the Joker. “You’ve heard of the definition of insanity, right Bats? Ah, what am I saying?! We’re two of a kind! Of course, you have!” Commissioner Gordon then approached the group.
“The paintings are back in the museum,” he said to Batman. “Though I gotta admit, the bait paintings might have a place in a museum of modern art.”
“Thank you, Commissioner,” replied Batman.
The heroes returned to the Batcave once Loki and the Joker were sent to their respective destinations. The Doctor led Iron Man, Wolverine, and Wonder Woman into the TARDIS. “Well, this HAS been fun!” said the Doctor. “Time to send you all home. …Diana…”
“Save it, Doctor,” replied Wonder Woman. “I’m going to do what I do best and the Daleks can’t take that from me.” She drew her sword and adopted a warrior’s stance. “Send me back.”
“Coordinates confirmed,” said the Doctor. “Away you go. Good luck.”
“For Themyscira!” called Wonder Woman as she faded.
“As for you boys, you two ready?” asked Tysar.
“Just cut to the chase so I can get back to teaching those brats!” grumbled Wolverine.
“What, no beer waiting for you?” asked Iron Man.
“Mr. Stark, an alcoholic like you has no room to talk,” remarked the Doctor as she started the return process.
“Hey! I’m a RECOVERING alcoholic, thank-!” Iron Man’s protests were cut off as he and Wolverine faded. By then, Batman and Alfred entered the TARDIS.
“They’re gone, then,” stated Batman.
“Yes, back to their times,” said the Doctor. She looked up Wonder Woman’s history. “…She’s helped people escape the concentration camps the Daleks set up, but in the final day of the Daleks’ Occupation, roughly about when their plans went belly-up, she dueled a Dalek and was exterminated just as her sword went through the Dalek’s squishy interior, killing it.”
“…She dies in battle, then,” sighed Batman.
“The last of the Justice League,” said the Doctor. “But she was buried with honor when her body was found a few minutes later. The mourners used the funerary rites of Ancient Greece, even burying her with two drachmas.”
“…Knowing her and the other Amazons, she’s probably in the Isles of the Blessed,” mused Batman.
“Knowing her valor and that of her sisters and mother, most likely,” agreed the Doctor. “Now, we must depart. Loki said that Omega was on the Irken Homeworld and there are signs of chronal surges centered around that planet.”
“Before you go, Doctor,” said Batman as he took off the cowl and revealed his face as Bruce Wayne, “can I have my desk back?”
“Oh, it’ll be back in its proper place once we leave,” assured the Doctor. “I mean, you have to admit,” she pointed at the desk currently in the far corner of the console room, “it doesn’t exactly match the décor.”
“True, it doesn’t,” agreed Bruce.
“All right, unless you wanna take the desk’s place,” said the Doctor, “and subsequently help me and Tysar with the Grouping, you may wish to exit the TARDIS.”
“…I think I’ll pass on a trip,” replied Bruce. “See you sometime.”
“See you sometime, Bruce!” returned the Doctor. Bruce then left the TARDIS. The Doctor pulled the take-off lever and the desk vanished. “There we go!” she said to Tysar.
“…Doctor, concerning what Loki said,” said Tysar, “do you think that he’s lying?”
“…Possible,” replied the Doctor. “But we have to see. I’m having the TARDIS check for any chronal surges and-.” She was interrupted by a beeping noise from the console. “There we go!” She checked the readings. “…Okay, as I said, there ARE three chronal surges centered around Irk,” she reported. “Let’s see…ah, two are from Hyrule, one is from Disney Castle, and the time period on Irk they’re being sent to is…oh.” The Doctor’s face fell. “…Oh dear.”
“Doctor?”
“…Tysar, I need you to promise that you can’t change history,” said the Doctor.
“Doctor, you’re scaring me,” replied Tysar. “What’s so dangerous about that time?”
“…That time period is when Tallest Zim becomes the last Irken alive,” explained the Doctor. “A mighty enemy attacks and slaughters every single Irken, save for Zim. Who that enemy is, I don’t know.”
“…That’s not…a fixed point in time, is it?” asked Tysar. The Doctor sighed and could only nod. “…Then there’s nothing we can do for the Irkens?”
“…Not without breaking time,” sighed the Doctor. Tysar thought for a while.
“…That’s…that’s going to be difficult to promise,” she finally said. “…But I will not interfere.”
“Good. Because we can’t rewrite history, not one line.”
“So we find our Grouping Victims, get them back to their homes, and get out of there before the Irken Genocide.”
“That’s the plan.” The Doctor set the coordinates and the TARDIS spun through the Time Vortex.