Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 7

Hedonism’s Downfall: Part 4

The Daleks were sending death squads onto Irk’s surface. Irkens all over the planet tried to counter-attack, but the Daleks simply exterminated the Irken soldiers. All that was left was the command center. A few Martian soldiers died while trying to help the Irkens. Marvin was getting battlefield report after battlefield report. “My Queen, Irk is a lost cause!” he said. “We have to retreat!”

“…I don’t like that word, but we have no choice,” muttered Tyr’ahnee. “The Doctor said that Zim must survive. Find him and bring him aboard the ship. Order our forces to return to the ship. We are leaving.”

“At once, my Queen.”


Everything was crumbling around Zim. The Empire he once served and commanded with such zealotry was now dying around him. The screams of his soldiers and the constant casualty reports were now fading into a constant ringing noise in his head. Even the report of Gaz’s extermination was now just background noise. “…My Tallest?” he mumbled, now seeing visions of the two Tallest he once served. He then felt a hand grab his arm, snapping him out of his trance. “What in-?!”

“Zim, come on!” called Marvin.

“Unhand me! I have an empire to-!”

“Zim, we both know the Irken Empire is dead! Now come on!”

“You’re not taller than me! Let go of-!” Marvin rolled his eyes and slung Zim over his shoulder. “PUT ME DOWN!” demanded Zim.

“I’m sorry, but I’m a slave to history,” replied Marvin as he ran out with Zim. The Irkens couldn’t believe it! Someone had kidnapped the Almighty Tallest! In the middle of a war!


The Doctor and her group arrived at the TARDIS. Link wanted so desperately to swing his sword into the Daleks, but the Doctor advised against it. Ariel tried again. “Doctor, please!” begged the former mermaid.

“You know I can’t,” sighed the Doctor. “Irk is destined to die. There’s nothing we can do about it. History is on track.”

“But Doctor, can’t you save just someone?! It’s not fair!”

“Don’t you think I haven’t thought about that?!” snapped the Doctor, tired of the argument. “My own planet burned! My people were slaughtered twice over in my eyes! If I could go back in time and prevent it all, I would, but I can’t! I just can’t!”

“I’m not asking you to save every Irken! Just please!” begged Ariel. “Just save someone!” The Doctor just stared at Ariel…then a memory appeared in front of her. …She was a man at the moment. The TARDIS console room was coral themed. There was a ginger woman. Sassy, headstrong, bit loud…and she was begging the Doctor to save someone from…from Pompeii during Mt. Vesuvius’ eruption. …Donna Noble, that was her name. …Then the Doctor remembered Lobus Caecilius and his family. She remembered stretching out his hand. She remembered that…history went on with barely a feather ruffled. …She then recalled Sty, selflessly bringing the Doctor and her friends to the command center.

“…Where is she?” the Doctor muttered to herself. An Irken then passed by, gathering weapons. The Doctor grabbed the Irken. “You! Where’s Invader Sty?!”

“B-By the command center’s ruins!” replied the Irken. “But-?!”

“Everyone, in!” the Doctor ordered her friends.


Sty fired, doing what she could to push back the Daleks. All around her, the Daleks screamed their familiar battle cry of “Exterminate!” Her gun’s battery pack was then exhausted. More Daleks were coming. One of them fixed her with a stare. “You are Invader Sty!” it barked.

“That’s right!” replied Sty.

“You will be exterminated!” continued the Dalek as it aimed its gunstick. …Just then, a wind picked up and a noise filled the air.

“Alert! Alert!” warned a Dalek. “Temporal disturbance detected!”

“It is the Doctor!” realized the first Dalek. The TARDIS then appeared between Sty and the Daleks with the doors facing the Irken. The doors opened and the Doctor reached out to Sty.

“Come with me,” she directed. Sty looked all around…then reached for the Doctor’s hand!


“All weapons primed and ready!” reported the Dalek Helmsman.

“All Irken defenses destroyed!” said the Saucer Commander. “The Irkens cannot act against us!”

“Martian ship leaving Irk!” reported another Dalek.

“Pursuit of Martian ship is unnecessary!” decided the Dalek Supreme. “Order evacuation of Irk!”

“I obey!” replied the third Dalek. It passed along the orders to all Dalek Death Squads. “All Daleks returned to their ships!”

“Fire weapons!” ordered the Dalek Supreme as it shook in anticipation. “Destroy Irk!”

“I obey!” replied the Dalek Helmsman. “Firing all weapons!”


The World Smasher class saucer deployed two massive laser cannons as the other saucers began their orbital bombardments. The flagship fired and fiery cracks appeared on Irk’s surface. Just then, Irk exploded, taking all Irkens with it. The last remnant of the Irken Empire…gone in just a few minutes.


Aboard the Martian ship, Zim saw the destruction and collapsed to his knees. All of it…gone.


Sty was feeling the same feelings as Zim when she saw what happened on the TARDIS monitor. “…My world,” she mumbled. “…Destroyed.”

“…I…I’m sorry,” said the Doctor, wondering if she made a mistake. She then glanced back. “Tysar, look after Sty, will you?”

“Yes, Doctor,” replied Tysar. She sat next to the poor Irken as the Doctor worked.

“…Ariel,” said the Doctor.

“Hm?” asked Ariel.

“…In all that chaos, I had almost forgotten why I took up my title. …Like a companion before me, you held me to the mark. …Thank you.” Ariel smiled a small smile.

“…I think I need to go back home,” she said.

“I’ve got the coordinates set for you,” said the Doctor. “Goodbye, my dear.” She flicked a switch and Ariel vanished while waving goodbye.

“…I think I’ve seen enough,” said Zelda.

“Same,” agreed Link.

“Well, since you two were just seconds apart in your little vanishing acts,” replied the Doctor, “I can safely return you to the same time in Hyrule. Setting coordinates…AHA! There!”

“I just hope this doesn’t happen to me again,” said Zelda. “Once was enough.”

“True that,” agreed the Doctor. “Farewell!” She flicked a switch and the two Hylians vanished.


Back on the World Smasher Saucer, the Dalek Supreme was in communication. “Dalek Supreme in former Irken Space to Emperor on Skaro!” A Dalek with a gold sphere replacing the dome and neck section then appeared, the Emperor Dalek itself in its mobile casing!

“Report!” it commanded in a booming voice.

“Irken Homeworld destroyed! World Smasher class test run successful! Irken people now extinct!” The Dalek Supreme was twitching in what passed for happiness for Daleks.

“What of Sty?” asked the Emperor. The Dalek Supreme’s twitching stopped.

“Sty?” it asked.

“Reports coming in!” reported the Dalek that originally objected to the Doctor’s survival. “The Doctor appeared before Dalek units could exterminate Sty! She is now aboard the Doctor’s TARDIS!”

“This failure is unacceptable!” boomed the Emperor. “Who ordered the Doctor to live?!”

“The order was given by the Dalek Supreme!” replied the Dalek. “The survival of Sty has secured the Vanguard Resistance’s beginnings!”

“Correct!” agreed the Emperor. “Engage frequency 479! Apply to the Dalek Supreme! Tell it how it failed, then DESTROY IT!”

“I obey!” The Dalek sent out a frequency that jammed the Dalek Supreme’s gunstick. “The survival of Sty has caused considerable disruption of our war against the Vanguard Resistance!”

“This was a matter that was not told to me!” insisted the Dalek Supreme.

“Our orders were to exterminate all life on Irk!”

“The Irken Genocide was a fixed point in history! THE DOCTOR COULD NOT INTERFERE!” By now, the Dalek Supreme sounded panicked.

“THE RESPONSIBILITY WAS YOURS!” shrieked the Dalek ready to execute the Supreme. “YOU HAVE FAILED! THE DALEKS DO NOT ACCEPT FAILURE!” It opened fire and blew a hole into the Dalek Supreme, killing it. The Emperor watched the whole thing.

“Identify yourself!” boomed the Emperor.

“Dalek Two-Two-One-One-One-Nine-Six-Three!” replied the Supreme’s executioner.

“Dalek Two-Two-One-One-One-Nine-Six-Three, take command of the World Smasher!” ordered the Emperor. “Return to Skaro for your promotion to Dalek Supreme!”

“I obey!” replied the Dalek.


Back in the TARDIS, Sty sat in the console room as the Doctor worked to find Omega’s next stop after Irk. Tysar came in. “Well?” asked Tysar.

“…Earth,” replied the Doctor. “Omega went to a place called Monster Island. …Looks like three chronal surges are centered there. …Now, about Sty…” The Doctor headed over to the Irken. “…Sty, you’ve been through a lot,” she said. “And I know you had no choice but to come with us when you’d rather be back with your own people-.”

“Doctor, my world was torn apart!” replied Sty. “My people slaughtered!”

“I know,” soothed the Doctor. “And I see in your eyes that you want to help somehow. To do something. …Sty, we can’t go back and undo what the Daleks have done to the Irken Empire, but maybe, somehow, we can stop greater tyrants than them from ruining more worlds. …Omega was on your world and was trying to cause chaos through the Grouping. If the Grouping isn’t settled, then imagine what Omega will set his sights on next. …You don’t have to come with me though. …That goes for you too, Tysar. Omega knows I’m after him. I brought the fight to Omega, and I’ll fight him alone if need be.”

“You will not!” protested Tysar. “I have something to say to the man myself! And Doctor, I think Ariel is proof that your judgement is…a bit flawed when you’re alone.”

“…Ariel…that was…the red-headed woman, yes?” asked Sty.

“Yes,” confirmed the Doctor. “She asked me to save someone even if I couldn’t save the entire Irken race.”

“…Then I’d best make sure her pleas were not in vain,” decided Sty. “We must pursue Omega!”

“…Thank you. Both of you.” The Doctor then set the coordinates. “2026, Island off the coast of Japan, here we go!” The TARDIS then spun through the Time Vortex with purpose.

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 7

Hedonism’s Downfall: Part 3

“SHE IS AN ENEMY OF THE DALEKS!” reminded another Dalek aboard the Saucer.

“SHE MUST BE EXTERMINATED!” urged the Saucer Commander.

“NO!” argued the Dalek Supreme.

“…No?!” asked the Saucer Commander. “She is our greatest enemy! She must be exterminated before she sabotages the operation!”

“The Doctor cannot interfere in the destruction of Irk!” replied the Dalek Supreme. “The Laws of Time she upholds forbid her from interfering in fixed points in time! History indicates that only Tallest Zim survives! All other Irkens are exterminated! Her presence does not change things!”

“But the Doctor will urge the Martians to take Zim away!”

“Then so be it! This will be a victory over the Doctor! Alert Dalek Spearhead! The Doctor is not to be exterminated! Obey! OBEY!!”

“I…obey!” replied the Saucer Commander.


The transport continued on its way rapidly through the capital city of Irk. “Of all the things to spawn from there, why did Skaro have to produce the Daleks?”

“Skaro? Is that their home planet?” asked Sty.

“That’s correct,” replied the Doctor. “The same ancestral home world as Tysar’s people, the Thals.”

“The Daleks are our ancient enemies,” explained Tysar. “We’ve opposed even their humanoid ancestors, the Kaleds.”

“The Thals’ war against the Kaleds went nuclear,” continued the Doctor, “then a lunatic Kaled scientist called Davros mutated his people into the Daleks.”

“Y-You mean there’s…something alive in those things?!” shuddered Ariel.

“Imagine those polyps of Ursula’s had become so warped by hate and that she slapped them into a tank that’s powered by psychokinetic energy from the polyp,” said the Doctor.

“They’re the scourge of the universe,” said Sty, “and we have to resist them!” The Doctor placed her hand on her face in thought.

“…We have to get Zim off this planet,” she said.

“Yes. The Tallest must survive…even though Tallest Tak proved to be better at…sorry. Bit sore about Tak’s loss in the Irken Civil War.”

“What happened to her after the war?” asked the Doctor.

“She was subjected to an Existence Evaluation,” replied Sty. “She failed it somehow and she was killed while her PAK’s data was erased.”

“But the Control Brains weren’t operating at full capacity during the Civil War,” recalled the Doctor.

“That’s why I say the judgement was flawed. But anyone that looks too deeply is reassigned to degrading positions.” The transport then arrived. “Come on!” Everyone left the transport.


“Naturally, we wouldn’t dream of encroaching on Irken Territory,” Tyr’ahnee said to Zim, “but we WOULD prefer to know when you intend to conquer a planet.”

“Of course, the same will apply to you,” said Zim. “That just leaves settling disputes on if we intend to conquer the same planet.”

“…Perhaps a joint conquest and the conquered chooses who will be their tyrant?” suggested Tyr’ahnee.

“That actually sounds fun!” purred Zim. “But how to-?” The Doctor and her group then burst into the room. “What the-?! SECURITY!” shouted Zim. “DO WE NO LONGER HAVE IT?!”

“My Tallest-!” urged Sty.

“SILENCE!” shouted Zim.

“With respect, I need to-!”

“You DARE disobey your Almighty Tallest?! You know, Invader Sty, perhaps I should reassign you to-!”

“THE DALEKS ARE ON IRK!” Sty finally said. Everyone turned to Sty. “…Sizz-Lorr was nothing but a Dalek Duplicate that set up a transmat so its masters could just stroll onto Irk and begin their campaign! It’s likely THEY are the ones behind the destruction of the Empire!”

“LIES!” shouted Zim.

“Truth, I can assure you, Zim,” said the Doctor. “You and the Martians need to evacuate Irk!”

“Doctor, why should I believe an enemy?! You have thwarted me twice over and will NOT get the opportunity to thwart me a-!”

“My Tallest!” called an Irken running communications.

“CAN I GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE?!” shouted Zim as he pointed his gun at the offending Irken.

“Forgive me,” said the Irken, “but our outposts have reported that saucer-shaped ships are entering our space! The design of the ships matches Dalek aesthetics!”

“What?! They wouldn’t dare!” protested Zim.

“They would and they will,” sighed the Doctor.

“My Tallest, the Doctor insists that you evacuate Irk,” said Sty. “Why, I don’t know.”

“I’m not leaving until I get answers!” snarled Zim. “Send a message to the Dalek fleet!”

“The Daleks are sparing us the effort,” replied the Communications Irken. “THEY are contacting US.”

“They can’t resist a gloat,” sighed Tysar.

“Open a channel!” ordered Zim. A screen lowered itself into position and footage of the bridge of a Dalek Saucer appeared with the Dalek Supreme in the center.

“Attention, Irk!” it barked. “This is the Dalek Supreme aboard the Flagship of the Dalek Fleet approaching your world! Resistance is useless! Your time has come!”

“You’ve called to gloat,” called the Doctor. “Make it quick and be done with your mission here!”

“Doctor!” barked the Dalek Supreme.

“Dalek Supreme!” replied the Doctor. “If a member of the Dalek Supreme Council is here, your mission against the Irken Empire must be high on your Emperor’s list of priorities.”

“The new World Smasher class of vessel needs to be tested! You cannot prevent what is coming!”

“So that’s why you’re doing what history says you do, just to test out your new toy!”

“Pah! Inferior technology compared to the Irken Empire’s!” boasted Zim.

“If your superiority were true, you would have withstood our assault!” retorted the Dalek Supreme.

“You cannot destroy the Irken Empire! The Lords commanding those planets will prepare the counter-offensive and reclaim our territory-!”

“Duplicates of those under your command, Zim, have ensured that retaliation will be at its least effective! They served the Daleks in the purpose assigned to them, just as the duplicate of Sizz-Lorr did!”

“You’re lying!” insisted Zim.

“WE are responsible for the destruction of the planets of the Irken Empire! WE are responsible for the massacre of your people and vassals!”

“MORE FILTHY-!”

“They’re not lying, Zim!” interrupted the Doctor. “…The Daleks have been shrinking your empire and history didn’t know until I stumbled across this time to rescue Link, Zelda, and Ariel!”

“Doctor, you are permitted to rescue the victims of the Grouping!” barked the Dalek Supreme. “But you must hurry! The Dalek Death Squad that used the transmat the Sizz-Lorr duplicate built before its self-extermination is 500 rels from the main command center!”

“Doctor, if you value your life, you will assist us against the Daleks!” ordered Zim.

“I…I can’t,” sighed the Doctor.

“You will obey!”

“She cannot!” gloated the Dalek Supreme. “Before this day ends, Irk will be destroyed and your people will ALL be exterminated! The Irken Genocide is a fixed point in time! The Doctor cannot prevent this! All life is to bow down to the Daleks or else be exterminated!”

“Now I know you’re lying-!” snarled Zim.

“It’s not a lie!” called the Doctor. “…Zim, I’m sorry, but you MUST go with Tyr’ahnee and Marvin. The Irken races dies today with you being the only survivor and there’s nothing I can do to prevent it without breaking the laws of time.” Zim stared at the Doctor in horror.

“You…You have to be lying!” he insisted.

“Time Lords cannot lie about the Laws of Time they hold dear,” remarked Tyr’ahnee. Zim…stumbled. His whole empire…destined to fall?

“Now you understand!” barked the Dalek Supreme. “Fight or surrender, it makes no difference! You will be exterminated! Doctor, 400 rels remain!” The call then ended. Zim thought for just a second.

“…Ready all weapons!” he ordered. “We’re at war!”


“Irken Defenses are being raised!” reported a Dalek to the Supreme.

“That does not matter!” replied the Dalek Supreme. “Quantum fluctuations in this time period still indicate Dalek victory!”

“Dalek Spearhead reports that Tallest Consort is approaching!”

“Her survival is unimportant! Exterminate!”


Gaz Membrane had an Irken blaster in her hands and her PAK’s legs were fully extended, making her look like an unholy demon of flesh and steel. No sooner did she round a corner than the Dalek Spearhead arrived. “HALT!” shouted the Battle Commander. Gaz aimed her gun fired right at the eyestalk, taking the dome clean off!

“ALERT! ALERT! SPEARHEAD LEADER DESTROYED! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!!” shrieked the Battle Commander’s subordinate. The Daleks fired, but the legs from Gaz’s PAK kept her out of the line of fire. Another Dalek was shot in the dome, giving the thing a terminal headache. Then…Gaz noticed something.

“Wait, I shot two and you guys were six,” she said. “There’s only three of you left though. Where’s the fourth?”

“EXTERMINATE!” One of the Daleks had engaged its flight mode and snuck behind her, striking her right in the PAK and bathing her in the usual cold cyan light as her skeleton was briefly illuminated. She screamed in agony and her PAK’s legs gave out, causing her to collapse in an undignified heap. “Tallest Consort exterminated!” reported the flying Dalek as it set itself back onto the ground.

“Satisfactory!” replied the new Spearhead Leader. “Proceed! The Doctor is not to be harmed! Exterminate all others!”

“We obey!” replied its subordinates.

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 7

Hedonism’s Downfall: Part 2

The prisoners were brought to Zim and Tyr’ahnee. “You caused quite a lot of noise, Doctor!” hissed Zim.

“So the rumors of Time Lords changing their faces are true, then?” asked Marvin.

“Well, I seem to recall you falling for Bugs Bunny’s disguise as Tyr’ahnee over there,” replied the Doctor, “so-.”

“Bunny?!” asked Tyr’ahnee. She turned on Marvin. “Our exile from Mars was because of a BUNNY?!”

“That rabbit’s clever, Your Majesty!” protested Marvin as he blushed, remembering the incident with the Ice Warriors. “…All right, so that IS the Doctor. What happened to the pink hedgehog?”

“She’s back in her home time,” replied the Doctor. “I think the real question is what are you lot doing on Irk? When did you make an alliance with the Irken Empire?”

“Desperate times forge strange alliances, Time Lord,” replied Tyr’ahnee.

“Well, take it from someone who’s been in your future, you should abandon the idea and get off of Irk as quickly as possible.”

“You should be familiar with the human expression ‘fat chance’, given your reputation of defending them, Doctor.”

“Let’s just say that-,” said Tysar. The Doctor clamped a hand over her companion’s mouth.

“Just trust us, all right?” asked the Doctor.

“I’m going to need more than the word of an enemy,” said Zim, “to convince me that sending the Martians away is a good idea.”

“My Tallest!” called an Irken. “A ship from Foodcourtia has arrived! It is heavily damaged and its pilot is asking to speak with you about the destruction of Foodcourtia!”

“What?! Bring the pilot here!” ordered Zim. He growled as the Irken obeyed. “Foodcourtia! Of all planets!”

“How did it get destroyed?” muttered Tyr’ahnee. “I heard the gravity field increases thanks to so many customers that it creates a time dilation.”

“Some master of time, perhaps?” guessed Marvin. Zim’s antennae twitched.

“…You know, you’re not the first Time Lord to visit the Empire recently,” he remarked to the Doctor.

“You make it sound like Gallifrey is responsible for its destruction,” replied the Doctor.

“Why not? Your TARDIS’s can handle the effects of the Great Foodening Queen Tyr’ahnee was talking about.”

“Tallest Zim, I can assure you, we are NOT responsible for the shrinking of your empire. We’re still in a state of reconstruction.”

“Then why would this Omega character be on Foodcourtia?” The Doctor’s gaze darkened.

“Omega is a renegade,” she explained. “He’s behind the Grouping, yes, but not behind your current problem. Let me send Ariel, Zelda, and Link back to their proper points in space-time, then give me any information you have on Omega and I’ll stop him from messing up your empire’s timeline.”

“Doctor, a word,” said Tysar. The Doctor and Tysar went to a corner to whisper to each other. “Are you sure Omega’s not behind this?”

“The Irken Genocide had evidence of conventional weaponry, not Gallifreyan,” replied the Doctor. “Something else will be behind what’s coming.” Just then, the door opened. The Irkens were helping a tall and fat Irken in a fry cook’s uniform with an apron and hat walk into the room, thanks to all the battle damage he sustained.

“Fry Lord Sizz-Lorr,” greeted Zim.

“M-My Tallest!” gasped Sizz-Lorr. “T-Terror is…is coming! F-Foodcourtia…destroyed! Gravity…resulted in…black hole! I was…only survivor!”

“Sizz-Lorr, who would destroy Foodcourtia?” asked the Doctor.

“D…D…D…the sauce…!” Sizz-Lorr collapsed before he could reveal anything.

“Get him to the medical center!” ordered Zim. “He can explain himself when he’s awake!” Tysar, having overheard everything like the others, had a nasty theory in her head.

“…God, I hope not,” she muttered.


The Doctor and her group were locked up in a cell with the TARDIS being taken away. “Drat,” muttered the Doctor. “Now we’re in for it. History says that only the Irken race dies today. If Tyr’ahnee and Marvin die, time is fractured!”

“Doctor, are you absolutely sure that-?!” urged Ariel.

“I can’t…interfere with history like that. …Not again.” The Time Lord Victorious went to the forefront of the Doctor’s mind.

“Can’t you save SOMEONE?!” asked Link.

“…All I can safely save is Zim,” sighed the Doctor. “And you lot. Everyone else, I’m…I’m bound by the laws of time not to.”

“That’s not fair!” protested Ariel.

“In an ideal world, I wouldn’t give a second thought to saving them!” snapped the Doctor. “…But tragedies need to happen! Ursula and Morgana’s respective schemes are a part of YOUR history! Zelda’s kidnappings are a part of her history, no matter how many times the timeline is reset! Power and heroism being forced on Link when he’d rather have a simple life is a part of his history! Tysar landing in Gotham is a part of her history! My stumbling on Skaro and giving my greatest enemies a shot at becoming a temporal power is a part of my history! Ariel, we can’t undo the tragedies of our lives, otherwise we fail to learn the lessons from them and something worse will taint our world-view! Maybe…somehow…we can prevent future tragedies like what’s coming from happening. …You all should be safe in the TARDIS when we get out. I brought this mystery to Irk…and I’ll solve it alone if I have to.”

“You will not!” protested Zelda. “You’ll probably make a beastly mess of things.”

“And you’ll need me around to tidy that mess up!” urged Tysar.

“…Looks like we have to solve the mystery before things get out of hand,” decided Link.

“…We’d better get on with it then,” sighed Ariel, feeling helpless. “And we better figure it out quickly before our names are added to the list of casualties.”

“…Thank you. All of you,” said the Doctor. “…Come on!” She then pulled out her sonic screwdriver.

“…They didn’t take it?” asked Tysar.

“Well, they didn’t take my shield and the Master Sword,” replied Link as he drew his sword.

“Their arrogance is usually their undoing,” remarked the Doctor. She buzzed the lock again and the door opened. “There we go! Come along! We’ve got work to…” She trailed off when she saw Sizz-Lorr walking down the hall, seemingly without pain despite all the scarring. “…Shouldn’t he be laid up in the medical lab?” pondered the Doctor aloud.

“Something’s not right with that man,” remarked Zelda.

“Come along. We’ll follow him.” The group cautiously followed Sizz-Lorr until he arrived at a storage barn. There was a hissing sound and his belly opened up!

“That’s not the real Sizz-Lorr?” asked Ariel.

“No,” confirmed the Doctor. “Some robotic duplicate? …Hang on. …That word he used just before he collapsed. …Something about sauce…and he was trying to say something that started with the letter D.” The Doctor then saw Sizz-Lorr take parts for something out of his belly and assemble something. Her eyes widened. “A transmat!”

“A what?” asked Ariel.

“Matter transmission, teleportation,” explained Tysar. “But from wh-?”

“Your people’s ancestral home-world!” replied the Doctor. “Sizz-Lorr’s a duplicate! The real one must have been killed during the destruction of Foodcourtia!”

“Doctor, you don’t mean-!” protested Tysar.

“Transmat complete, Masters,” droned Sizz-Lorr. He then stood silently as he received orders. “…I obey. Termination in three…two…one.” He then sparked and collapsed as the transmat warmed up!

“I obey!” shuddered Tysar. “The words of their slaves and what they say to their superiors!”

“Who?!” asked Link. “Who’s got you so spooked?!” Link got his answer as several shapes appeared on the transmat. The shapes solidified into a foe the Doctor and Tysar know all too well.

“Transmat transference complete!” barked the Battle Commander. “All Duplicates have reported successful sabotage of Irken Homeworld Defense Network! Proceed! Crush all resistance! Exterminate all life-forms! EXTERMINATE!”

“We obey!” replied the subordinates. They all then chanted “SEEK! LOCATE! EXTERMINATE! SEEK! LOCATE! EXTERMINATE!”

“Daleks!” hissed the Doctor. “We have to get out of here!”

“They’re just machines!” protested Link. “I can-!”

“Link, the Daleks have the superior weaponry and strategic advantage!” protested Tysar. “We have to go!”

“There’s a transport over there!” called Zelda as she pointed out an Irken supply vehicle.

“Everybody, to the transport! NOW!” ordered the Doctor. Everyone ran towards the transport.

“Life-forms detected!” called a Dalek.

“Halt! HALT!” shouted the Battle Commander. “EXTERMINATE!”

“EXTERMINATE! ANNIHILATE! DESTROY!” chanted the Daleks as they opened fire! Unfortunately, a few Irkens got caught in the crossfire!

“What’s all the rack-?!” Sty demanded as she arrived. One look at the invading force answered her question! “DALEKS!”

“Listen, Invader…!” called the Doctor.

“Invader Sty!”

“Invader Sty, we need to evacuate Zim from Irk! And the Martians too!”

“…Ordinarily, I’d throw you back into your cells and do what the guards should have done,” said Sty, “but we’re all united against the Daleks! Get on that transport!” Sty bundled them all onto the transport.


“Biological reports compiled!” reported a Dalek aboard one of the Daleks’ Saucers. The commanding Dalek was the Black and Gold Dalek Supreme.

“Summarize!” barked the Dalek Supreme.

“Non-Irkens were detected! Martians were the primary discovery as they were in the process of forming a mutual defense compact with the Irken Empire! Five other humanoids were detected! Pathweb has discovered a familiarity of one of the humanoids!”

“Display humanoid!” The Doctor’s image appeared via hologram. “Identify!” Just then, holograms of the Doctor’s previous incarnations appeared, along with all the titles the Daleks gave her.

“IT IS THE DOCTOR!” shrieked a Dalek.

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 7

Hedonism’s Downfall: Part 1

Irk, the homeworld of the Irken Race and capital planet of their empire, an empire of hedonism that serves only the rulers instead of the people and those they’ve conquered. Right now, though, there was trouble in the empire and their ruler, the Almighty Tallest Zim, was going through reports to try and figure out why the empire was shrinking! His ally, the Tallest Consort, the human known as Gaz Membrane, stormed into his office. “Zim, you have GOT to figure this crap out!” she snarled.

“I’m aware of Videogamia being destroyed,” replied Zim. “We’re still looking for a pattern.”

“We need MORE than a pattern! We need new planets! Zim, the empire is shrinking by the day!”

“You think I don’t know that?!” snapped Zim.

“Did you also know that there’s an alien vessel in geostationary orbit?!” demanded Gaz.

“Has it been identified?” asked Zim.

“The translators are saying it’s called the Martian Maggot,” replied Gaz.

“A Martian ship?” Zim then stood up. “Let them land. I’m expecting them.”

“Zim?” asked Gaz.

“Queen Tyr’ahnee Mirkin,” explained Zim, “has also reported that her empire is shrinking, so we’re entering into a mutual defense compact.”

“We don’t need help from outsi-!”

“This coming from the HUMAN, need I remind you?” interrupted Zim. Gaz zipped it. “Come on. We must greet them.”


Tyr’ahnee and her faithful commander, Marvin, stepped off the ship once Zim and Gaz arrived. “Welcome, Queen Tyr’ahnee,” greeted Zim.

“So, this is the center of the Irken Empire,” remarked Tyr’ahnee. “Is that a human by your side?”

“This is the Tallest Consort, Gaz Membrane,” replied Zim.

“Definitely a human name,” said Tyr’ahnee. “Now, perhaps we should begin discussions on what could cause our empires to shrink.”

“Indeed,” agreed Zim. “Your commander will need to understand the layout of the empire as it stands, of course.” He turned to an Irken. “You! Give the Martian Queen’s commander full access.”

“At once, my Tallest,” replied the Irken. He turned to Marvin. “This way, please.”

“Very touching,” replied Marvin as he followed the Irken. Just then, another Irken, slightly shorter than the one leading Marvin, approached Zim.

“My Tallest, I have news!” she said.

“Not now, Invader Sty!” hissed Zim.

“But it concerns unauthorized life-forms on Irk-!” Zim grabbed the shorter Irken.

“Not! In front! Of the Martians!” he hissed. “Deal with the problem!” He then tossed the Irken aside. The Irken picked herself up.

“A-As you command, My Tallest,” she said. She then headed off.

“…Perhaps a robot force could quell any dissent, once this affair is over,” offered Tyr’ahnee.

“That…actually sounds like a good idea,” remarked Zim.


The Irken, Invader Sty, approached the troops under her command. “We’re dealing with the intruders ourselves,” she said.

“But Ma’am-!” protested one of her troops.

“Orders from Zim,” she said. “Nothing we can do. Arm weapons.” The Irkens obeyed.

“What was that?!” yelped a voice.

“It…sounds like those firearms I saw on Kamino,” said another.

“Stay behind me, you two!” finished a third.

“Link, that shield-!” The second speaker couldn’t finish as a man in a green tunic and pointed hat with pointy ears, a sword, and a shield rounded the corner.

“Stun blasts only! FIRE!” ordered Sty. The man raised his shield, but the weapons fire knocked it off his arm and another shot hit him in the chest, stunning him.

“LINK!” called the second speaker. This one was a woman with pointy ears like the man and wore a blue dress. The last person, the first speaker, was a woman with blood-red hair in a pink dress. The two women were hit with the Irkens’ stun weapons.

“Now what?” asked an Irken.

“Take them to the cells,” ordered Sty. “The Almighty Tallest will deal with them later.”


The red-head was the first to wake up. “Oof!” she groaned. “What was that shark’s name?!” Her vision cleared to see the two pointy-eared people lying unconscious next to her. “Oh my fins!” she yelped. She then lightly slapped the cheek of the woman. “Hey, are you all right?!” The woman groaned and opened her eyes. She looked up…then her memory slowly came back to her!

“…Another chronal surge!” she said. “And this time, Link was-! LINK!” She sat up and rushed to the man in the green tunic. “Link, are you all right?!” The man…snored. “…Of course you’d take a nap,” sighed the pointy-eared woman. She then seized the man’s ear. “GET UP, LINK!” she shouted, startling the man awake.

“YOW! HEY! EASY!” protested the man. “Sheesh, my ears are ringing, Princess!”

“Link, we need to get out of here!” insisted the woman. “We-!”

“Where IS here?” asked the red-head. “And who ARE you two? Are you elves?”

“…Why does everyone ask that?” sighed the man. “No, we’re Hylians from the Kingdom of Hyrule. I’m Link, the Hero of Hyrule.”

“And I’m Zelda, Hyrule’s Princess,” introduced the woman.

“Another Princess?!” gasped the red-head. “Nice to meet you! I’m Ariel, Princess of Atlantica!”

“A pleasure to meet you, Princess Ariel,” greeted Zelda. “Now, were you just minding your own business at home when an energy wave suddenly washed over you and pulled you through a vortex until you found yourself here with us?”

“…Y-Yes, that’s exactly what happened,” said Ariel. “But…how did you-?”

“A friend called the Doctor called it a Chronal Surge,” explained Zelda. “That energy wave takes you out of your usual point in space and time and plops you somewhere and somewhen else. I went through that once before and ended up on Kamino during the Clone Wars.”

“…You went to the Star Wars galaxy?” asked Ariel. “I think Disney’s lawyers would have something to say about tha…anyone else hear that?”

“Hey, isn’t that the-?” asked Link. A blue box then appeared in the hall.

“The TARDIS!” confirmed Zelda. “Excellent! The Doctor’s still on the case!” Speaking of whom, the Doctor stepped out with Tysar.

“All right, the TARDIS said those Chronal Surges brought their victims here, so-.” The Doctor then looked into the cell to see Zelda, Link, and Ariel. “…Well, that makes the job easier.”

“Hey, I remember you!” gasped Ariel. “You hosted that impromptu Whose Line is it Anyway show in the Magic Kingdom!”

“That I did!” replied the Doctor. She then saw Zelda and Link. “Zelda! Link! Hello again!”

“…Lady, I don’t remember seeing you before,” replied Link.

“No, no, Link, that’s the Doctor that helped me get back from Kamino!” explained Zelda.

“Hang on, THAT’S the Doctor?!” yelped Link.

“You snogged Zelda after she became the last segment of the Key to Time, yes?” quizzed the Doctor. “Right in my TARDIS after she came back and she mentioned an outfit you have? A cute one?”

“My Gerudo Vai outfit, yeah!” replied Link. “It IS you! But how-?!”

“No time to explain regenerations,” interrupted the Doctor as she pulled out the Sonic Screwdriver.

“You’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, to put it lightly,” explained Tysar as the Doctor worked on the cell doors. “This world…is about to die. So are its people.”

“What?!” asked Zelda. By then, the door was unlocked.

“This is the Irken Homeworld,” explained the Doctor, “the capital of those little green men you doubtlessly saw when you were thrown in there, and around this time, a horrible force kills the entire Irken Empire, all but one, Zim, the current leader.” Everyone stepped out of the cell and Link drew the Master Sword.

“Well, his people treated us roughly,” he said, “but that’s no excuse.”

“Pardon?” asked the Doctor.

“Link’s right,” agreed Zelda. “We can’t let innocents suffer.”

“Then let’s get them the help they need and-!” cheered Ariel.

“What ARE you talking about?’ asked the Doctor.

“…Th…The evacuation,” replied Ariel. “We have to save those people! Make it so that there’s no genocide!”

“Except we CAN’T do that!” urged the Doctor as she turned to the TARDIS. “Come on! Into the TARDIS, all of you!”

“Now wait a minute!” argued Link. “What in Hylia’s name are you trying to pull here?!”

“Doctor, we HAVE to help the Irkens!” pleaded Zelda.

“Not this time!” replied the Doctor. “Link, Ariel, Zelda, I’m sorry, but the Irken Genocide is a fixed point in time! What happens, happens! There is NO stopping it!” The Doctor turned back to the TARDIS again, but was yanked back by Ariel.

“Says who?!” she demanded.

“Says me!” retorted the Doctor.

“What, and you’re in charge?!”

“TARDIS, Time Lord, YEAH!”

“Ariel, Mermaid turned human, NO!” That’s TWO red-heads the Doctor had that argument with. “I don’t need your permission! I’ll tell the Irkens myself!”

“You try it, they’ll just dismiss you out of hand and vaporize you for telling primitive lies!” retorted the Doctor. “Now come on! TARDIS! We’re getting out of here!”

“I’ve got something to say about that, Time Girl!” snarled Link.

“Oh, I bet you do!”

“GUYS!” shouted Tysar.

“WHAT?!” asked everyone. Then they saw the Irkens and Marvin.

“…Martians?!” gasped the Doctor. “…Damn, now I NEED to stay on Irk!”

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 7

Painting Chaos: Part 4

Loki pulled back a bit of the cover on one of the paintings, then slowly covered it back up. “…I thought you said that you had examples of the Old Masters, Joker,” he hissed.

“I do!” protested the Joker.

“Then which of the Old Masters is J. Todd?” Loki yanked the cover off to reveal that it was a relatively recently-done abstract painting with the artist’s name on the lower right corner! The Joker had a horrible thought and pulled back the covers to reveal more abstract paintings with artists like D. Grayson, B. Gordon, A. Pennyworth, D. Wayne, and so on! The Joker returned his attention to the phone call.

“YOU CAPED CREEP!” he shouted. “YOU SWITCHED PAINTINGS ON ME! THESE ARE NOTHING MORE THAN KINDERGARTEN DRAWINGS!”

“I’ll have you know,” replied Batman, “those people worked hard on those paintings. Besides, a Kindergartener’s mind could have anticipated you and Loki’s every move. This caper was more obvious than any I’ve had to solve.” Loki overheard that and grabbed the phone.

“You can say that over the phone, Mortal!” snarled the ticked-off Asgardian. “If you weren’t hiding behind this thing, you’d know the wrath of Loki!”

“Then demonstrate it to us!” challenged Batman as he and his group crashed through the window or burst from the door!

“Stay where you are!” called the Doctor. “We have you covered!”

“Lights out!” called the Joker as he hit the light switch, plunging the room into darkness.

“Activate infra-red!” Iron Man called. His suit’s eyes turned red. Batman tapped the side of his cowl and activated night vision. Wolverine had all of his senses enhanced, so his hearing and smell helped him in the darkened fight. Iron Man then deployed drones that shone a light for the Doctor, Tysar, and Wonder Woman. The Joker tried to whack a frying pan on Wolverine’s skull, but it snapped at the handle and only gave Wolverine a minor headache.

“…Huh, you really DO have a hard head,” remarked the Joker.

“Damn straight, bub!” Wolverine decked the Joker with enough force to knock him into Loki. That gave the Doctor enough to jab her pinky finger under Loki’s chin and paralyze him long enough for Batman to deck him! Both tricksters were now in a heap, groaning in pain.

“…That was…remarkably simplistic,” said the Doctor.


The Joker and Loki were handcuffed. Normal handcuffs for the Joker and special Asgardian handcuffs for Loki that Thor had commissioned the Asgardian smiths to make for the Avengers to use on their most powerful villains. “Thor will be coming to take you away and hide the Time Stone,” Iron Man explained to Loki.

“Why you let a lunatic like the Joker learn about the Infinity Stones,” growled Woman, “I’ll never understand. You realize he was going to betray you, yes?”

“How?” asked Loki. “His attempt at betrayal wouldn’t have compared to mine.”

“I don’t know,” remarked the Doctor. “Jokerized Daleks would certainly do it.”

“…I’m sorry, did you say Jokerized DALEKS?” asked Loki.

“He’d snatch them from my time, if you’d care to know,” explained Wonder Woman. Loki then turned on the Joker.

“Then what was the point of the painting theft?!” he shouted.

“A rough idea on where and when to send my Jokerized Daleks to,” replied the Joker. “You have to admit, having cackling squids in tanks causing terror during the Renaissance would have been funny!”

“That’s too severe of a breach of the laws of time!” protested Loki. “And it would make it hard for you to gloat after the event, even with the Time Stone! With Omega running around, I wouldn’t do something that insane!”

“Perhaps you can tell me where you heard about Omega returning,” said the Doctor. “You know that if he regains his full might, he’ll take over all of time and space.”

“I only saw him once as he fled his then-hiding place on Karn,” revealed Loki. “Not out of fear of the Sisterhood, but with intent to go elsewhere to conduct his plans. All the Time Stone could tell me as I retrieved it from Karn was that he went in the direction of Irk. When during its history, I cannot say.”

“The Irken Homeworld, hm?” quizzed the Doctor. “You realize I’ll have to confirm your words.”

“Pah! You’re too wound tight, Doctor!” scoffed the Joker. Batman then approached.

“A SHIELD helicarrier’s coming to collect Loki,” he said. “You, Joker, are going back to Arkham.”

“Yeah, sure, put me in the looney bin like always!” cackled the Joker. “You’ve heard of the definition of insanity, right Bats? Ah, what am I saying?! We’re two of a kind! Of course, you have!” Commissioner Gordon then approached the group.

“The paintings are back in the museum,” he said to Batman. “Though I gotta admit, the bait paintings might have a place in a museum of modern art.”

“Thank you, Commissioner,” replied Batman.


The heroes returned to the Batcave once Loki and the Joker were sent to their respective destinations. The Doctor led Iron Man, Wolverine, and Wonder Woman into the TARDIS. “Well, this HAS been fun!” said the Doctor. “Time to send you all home. …Diana…”

“Save it, Doctor,” replied Wonder Woman. “I’m going to do what I do best and the Daleks can’t take that from me.” She drew her sword and adopted a warrior’s stance. “Send me back.”

“Coordinates confirmed,” said the Doctor. “Away you go. Good luck.”

“For Themyscira!” called Wonder Woman as she faded.

“As for you boys, you two ready?” asked Tysar.

“Just cut to the chase so I can get back to teaching those brats!” grumbled Wolverine.

“What, no beer waiting for you?” asked Iron Man.

“Mr. Stark, an alcoholic like you has no room to talk,” remarked the Doctor as she started the return process.

“Hey! I’m a RECOVERING alcoholic, thank-!” Iron Man’s protests were cut off as he and Wolverine faded. By then, Batman and Alfred entered the TARDIS.

“They’re gone, then,” stated Batman.

“Yes, back to their times,” said the Doctor. She looked up Wonder Woman’s history. “…She’s helped people escape the concentration camps the Daleks set up, but in the final day of the Daleks’ Occupation, roughly about when their plans went belly-up, she dueled a Dalek and was exterminated just as her sword went through the Dalek’s squishy interior, killing it.”

“…She dies in battle, then,” sighed Batman.

“The last of the Justice League,” said the Doctor. “But she was buried with honor when her body was found a few minutes later. The mourners used the funerary rites of Ancient Greece, even burying her with two drachmas.”

“…Knowing her and the other Amazons, she’s probably in the Isles of the Blessed,” mused Batman.

“Knowing her valor and that of her sisters and mother, most likely,” agreed the Doctor. “Now, we must depart. Loki said that Omega was on the Irken Homeworld and there are signs of chronal surges centered around that planet.”

“Before you go, Doctor,” said Batman as he took off the cowl and revealed his face as Bruce Wayne, “can I have my desk back?”

“Oh, it’ll be back in its proper place once we leave,” assured the Doctor. “I mean, you have to admit,” she pointed at the desk currently in the far corner of the console room, “it doesn’t exactly match the décor.”

“True, it doesn’t,” agreed Bruce.

“All right, unless you wanna take the desk’s place,” said the Doctor, “and subsequently help me and Tysar with the Grouping, you may wish to exit the TARDIS.”

“…I think I’ll pass on a trip,” replied Bruce. “See you sometime.”

“See you sometime, Bruce!” returned the Doctor. Bruce then left the TARDIS. The Doctor pulled the take-off lever and the desk vanished. “There we go!” she said to Tysar.

“…Doctor, concerning what Loki said,” said Tysar, “do you think that he’s lying?”

“…Possible,” replied the Doctor. “But we have to see. I’m having the TARDIS check for any chronal surges and-.” She was interrupted by a beeping noise from the console. “There we go!” She checked the readings. “…Okay, as I said, there ARE three chronal surges centered around Irk,” she reported. “Let’s see…ah, two are from Hyrule, one is from Disney Castle, and the time period on Irk they’re being sent to is…oh.” The Doctor’s face fell. “…Oh dear.”

“Doctor?”

“…Tysar, I need you to promise that you can’t change history,” said the Doctor.

“Doctor, you’re scaring me,” replied Tysar. “What’s so dangerous about that time?”

“…That time period is when Tallest Zim becomes the last Irken alive,” explained the Doctor. “A mighty enemy attacks and slaughters every single Irken, save for Zim. Who that enemy is, I don’t know.”

“…That’s not…a fixed point in time, is it?” asked Tysar. The Doctor sighed and could only nod. “…Then there’s nothing we can do for the Irkens?”

“…Not without breaking time,” sighed the Doctor. Tysar thought for a while.

“…That’s…that’s going to be difficult to promise,” she finally said. “…But I will not interfere.”

“Good. Because we can’t rewrite history, not one line.”

“So we find our Grouping Victims, get them back to their homes, and get out of there before the Irken Genocide.”

“That’s the plan.” The Doctor set the coordinates and the TARDIS spun through the Time Vortex.

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 7

Painting Chaos: Part 3

“Well, that complicates things!” grumbled Tysar as the Batmobile sped away. She then took in her surroundings. “…Did you upgrade this thing?” she asked Batman.

“Of course,” replied Batman. “Now, my knowledge on the time stone is limited. What is it?”

“One of the six Infinity Stones, Bats,” replied Iron Man. “As advertised, it can control time for the user. Bring it and the other five Infinity Stones together, the whole universe is your playground. That’s what a guy called Thanos wants them for.”

“Thanos didn’t last long against the Daleks,” remarked Wonder Woman.

“I take it I was gunned down by them,” said Batman.

“No, thankfully,” replied Wonder Woman. “It was just old age that took you and our friends.”

“Yes, the invasion that Wonder Woman’s talking about,” said the Doctor, “started in 2157 and lasted a decade. The Daleks used a plague of their own design.”

“A breach of the Geneva Conventions, huh?” remarked Wolverine.

“They don’t consider any laws made by non-Daleks to be superior to their own. …Now what would the Joker want with an Infinity Stone? I mean, aside from the obvious ‘nothing good’, why should that anarchist want the time stone?”

“And how will his deal with the Joker help him fight this Omega guy?” asked Iron Man.

“Questions, questions,” muttered the Doctor. “…Though, admittedly, one of them is minor.”

“Doctor?” asked Tysar.

“How did Loki recognize me? I met him in a previous incarnation. …Then again, the Asgardians know about how Time Lords regenerate, so he probably picked up on context clues.”

“What do we do, then?” asked Wolverine. “We can’t exactly waltz up to them with the time stone.”

“Oracle’s looking into that right now,” replied Batman.

“Oracle? Who’s that?” asked Iron Man.

“My tech person. She can look things up with ease. Perhaps the Joker’s men got sloppy when they had to move.” The console of the Batmobile beeped. Batman pressed a button. “Go ahead.”

“Batman, your hunch was right,” said a woman’s voice. “The Joker’s got his own plans for the time stone.”

“Hey, lady, how do you know about the time stone?!” snarled Wolverine.

“I can hear everything, Logan,” replied Oracle. Wolverine snarled and was ready to unsheathe his claws. “In any event, the Joker’s planning on taking over the plan. That’s why he went after the Gotham City Renaissance Art Collection. He’s using the art pieces as a sort of temporal map and intends to use the time stone to send Daleks into those eras. Before that, though, he intends to inject them with his Joker Venom.”

“I know he’s mad,” said the Doctor, “but Dalek casings have all sorts of defenses to protect the internal creature. He’d need to dissect one in order to figure out how to infect one with his Joker Venom and he’ll lose a lot of men in the attempt.”

“He won’t care,” replied Batman. “All just to build up to the sick punchline.”

“He’s just doing this because he can? That’s his justification?” asked Tysar.

“That’s his justification for anything,” answered Batman.

“Well, even if he succeeds, I’m positive I don’t want to see the results of a Jokerized Dalek,” remarked the Doctor. She then noticed something. “Um, we’re going to-.”

“Yes,” said Batman. They then went through a waterfall beneath Wayne Manor.

“Batman, are you sure-?” asked Wonder Woman as she pointed to Iron Man and Wolverine.

“Oh, we already know each other’s identities,” replied Iron Man. “Tends to happen when you’re genius billionaire playboy philanthropists.” Batman then parked the Batmobile in its usual place in the Batcave. “So, Brucie, what’s the plan?” asked Iron Man.

“Well, Stark Naked,” replied Batman, “there’s another reason why the Joker stole those paintings. Unlike us, money isn’t easy to come by for him, and he needs it until he fulfills his grand design.”

“So he’s gonna sell renaissance art off when he’s done with that map of his?” asked Wolverine.

“It won’t do him any good,” replied the Doctor. “If he sends a Jokerized Dalek into the time period the painting was born in, it will vanish.”

“Well, that WOULD make my part harder,” said Batman as he took off the cowl. Alfred then arrived.

“Master Bruce, I-.” He stopped when he saw the guests. “…Mr. Stark,” he began. “Mr. Howlett. Your Highness. And welcome back, Doctor and Miss Tysar. I would have thought you’d be back home.”

“Not until the Grouping is settled, Alfred,” replied Tysar.

“As a matter of fact, that’s why these three are here,” said the Doctor as she gestured to Iron Man, Wolverine, and Wonder Woman. “The boys are from 2027 while Wonder Woman’s from 2167. It’s a ghastly future, but it’s a future humanity will overcome.”

“So you can see why we need to find the Doctor’s TARDIS as well as stop the Joker and Loki,” said Wonder Woman.

“Oh, I can easily tell you where the TARDIS is, Doctor,” said Alfred. “It is currently in Master Bruce’s office, but it materialized around his desk whilst I was dusting it. I took the liberty of dusting the console room before I left.”

“Oh, thank you very much!” bid the Doctor. “I’ve been trying to dust it myself, but in my life, one thing leads to another and it’s been two centuries before you finally do it!”

“My pleasure, Ma’am. Now, what’s this about the Joker and the Norse god of fire and mischief?”

“The Joker’s trying to get the time stone from Loki, Alfred,” explained Batman. “One of the six Infinity Stones that can make its user do anything with a literal snap of their fingers if they’re wearing the proper gauntlet.”

“…I’m guessing the time stone is called as such because it controls time,” said Alfred.

“That’s correct, old friend,” replied Diana. “The Joker plans to use it to swipe aliens that invaded at least ten years ago in my time and inject them with Joker Venom, then send them into different points in the Renaissance.”

“Good grief! Send lunatics into a period of rediscovery?! Have them wreak havoc in that period?! Possibly kill the Old Masters?! That would explain why he stole those paintings! You were right to enact that plan, Sir!”

“Plan?” asked the Doctor.

“Over there,” replied Bruce as he pointed at a room adjacent to the main Batcave. Everyone looked inside to paintings with cloths draped over them.

“…The Gotham City Renaissance Art Collection?” asked Wonder Woman.

“Wait, if the Old Masters’ work is here,” said the Doctor, “…then what does the Joker have?”

“Batman, the Joker and Loki have been spotted in a hotel room,” warned Oracle.

“They’re playing chicken with their alliance,” remarked the Doctor.

“Oracle, does your dad know?” asked Bruce.

“He’s ready for the Joker’s inevitable call. Sending you the address and room.” The address and room showed up on the Batcomputer’s screen.

“Perfect,” said Bruce as he lowered the cowl over his eyes. “Let’s go, everyone. The Joker’s got a nasty surprise waiting for him.”


The Joker and Loki arrived in their hotel room, littered with paintings covered by cloths. “I still say we need to get my spear back!” urged Loki.

“In time, my friend. In time,” soothed the Joker. “For now, I have a call to make.” He then dialed a number. The person picked up.

“Commissioner Gordon here.”

“Working late nights, Commissioner?” asked the Joker.

“JOKER!” snarled Commissioner Gordon.

“I thought I’d present you something for all the years we’ve had our relationship!” cackled the Joker.

“If you’re trying to bribe me-!”

“A bribe? Don’t be so gauche! I intend to present you with the entire Gotham City Renaissance Art Collection as a gift!”

“Renaissance Art Collection, huh? I thought it was your calling card at the museum!”

“Well, I can safely say that they’re all safe and sound,” continued the Joker, “so I’ll be giving them back! Now isn’t that nice of me? Of course, there’s a slight delivery charge of 22 million dollars! I’d ordinarily ask for 10 million, but I have a lawyer on retainer. So pay up before 6 AM, or I burn the entire collection!”

“You DO know that Batman’s after you, yeah?” asked Commissioner Gordon.

“Batman! HAH!” laughed the Joker. “That Kooky Kleptomaniac stole a spear from my friend and scurried away to his Batcave, afraid of the power Loki has!”

“Loki? Who’s that?” asked Commissioner Gordon.

“Why, Commissioner! Aren’t you familiar with Norse Mythology?!” At that point, a new voice entered the call.

“Lots of people call themselves Loki,” said the new and familiar raspy voice. “Mainly people Commissioner Gordon’s keeping locked up.”

“Batman! You’re on the line too!” cackled the Joker. “Hiding out in the Commissioner’s office, are we?”

“My friends and I hope you don’t mind,” replied Batman.

“So, that Doctor and the other members of the cape and costume crowd are with you too!” The Joker allowed himself a giggle. “Well, you all had better stay there! Because if I catch any single one of you outside, I’m going to personally pin your pointed ears back, you hear?!”

“Of course,” answered Batman. “So, you have paintings, I hear.”

“Oh, I have dozens of them!” confirmed the Joker. “And each one, an Old Master!”

“You don’t say,” said Batman.

“…Yes, I DO say,” replied the Joker, now concerned about the tone in Batman’s voice. Loki got suspicious and went to remove the cover of one of the paintings.

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 7

Painting Chaos: Part 2

“…So we’re in the future, huh?” asked Iron Man. “Looks kinda sucky.”

“She also said we’re in Gotham, Tin Man,” replied Wolverine. “Remember how much of a hellhole it is?”

“You’re not questioning how you got here?” asked Tysar.

“Lady, this ain’t our first time travel rodeo,” retorted Wolverine.

“Well, the method might be new to you,” said the Doctor. “It was an energy wave called a chronal surge. That kind of energy wave takes random people and plops them into points of space and time that are foreign to them. Right now, there’s a series of chronal surges, creating an event known as the Grouping. Tysar and I have been tracking the chronal surges and followed you two and a third person from the future…a very ghastly future. …Unfortunately, my arrival point could have been chosen better as I landed in a warehouse held by Gotham’s greatest criminal, the Joker. My TARDIS had to choose a safer place to rest, so it vanished on me temporarily. I’m going to need your help, gentlemen, and the help of the person from the future and Batman in order to find the TARDIS. With it returned to me, I can get you all home.”

“…Fair deal to me,” remarked Iron Man.

“Same,” agreed Wolverine.

“Excellent!” cheered the Doctor. “Batman went that way towards the warehouse, so he’ll be busy with the Joker.”


The Doctor was right. Batman had already taken out the Joker’s thugs and was going after him, dodging or deflecting all the Joker’s tricks. Acid boutonniere, razor playing cards, giant hammer, gun, they paled in comparison to Batman’s bag of tricks. “Come on, Batsy!” taunted the Joker. “Do you really think you have time to stop me?! Don’t you have a gala to host at Wayne Manor?!”

“There’s always room in my schedule for stopping criminals,” replied Batman. As he prepared to throw a batarang at the Joker, a glowing, golden rope wrapped around the Joker’s wrist.

“Hey, who invited little miss bondage?!” cackled the Joker.

“Little?” asked Batman. Little was NOT a word Batman would use with the owner of the rope. The Joker was then launched through the roof of the warehouse as the rope untied itself from his wrist. Batman looked up through the hole. “…You know, Diana,” he remarked, “you didn’t give it that Joker shape. He would have-.” He stopped when he saw his friend. She…looked haggard, wore black and gray armor instead of her usual red, blue, and gold outfit, and carried a sword and shield. “…Wonder Woman?” asked Batman. “What happened to you?”

“What happened to me?” asked Wonder Woman. “Apparently I was sent back in time to when you were alive, Bruce.”

“…So you’re from the future,” remarked Batman. “A chronal surge?”

“I have no idea what that is, but an energy wave plucked me from 2167 and put me here. …When is this?”

“2029,” called the Doctor as she stepped into the warehouse. “And that energy wave is called a chronal surge.

“Doctor?” asked Batman. “So the Grouping’s still going on.”

“Sadly, yes,” said the Doctor. “And, in order to fix time, I have to send Iron Man, Wolverine, and Wonder Woman back to their proper times. …Therein lies the problem. Before you arrived, the Joker attacked in a way that made my TARDIS think the area wasn’t safe for it, so it moved itself, so I’ll need everyone’s help to find it so Iron Man and Wolverine can live to the end of their days and Wonder Woman can see the end of the Dalek Occupation in 2167.”

“The end? …Doctor, there IS no end to their occupation,” sighed Wonder Woman. Everyone could tell that her spirit was broken somehow and she was just focused on survival.

“…What happened?” asked Batman.

“Diana…does Themyscira-?” asked the Doctor.

“It’s all gone, Doctor,” replied Wonder Woman. “The island, my sisters, my mother, all of it! The Daleks just killed them all! And not just them! The Avengers, the Justice League, the X-men, the Teen Titans, for Hera’s sake! …They all died defending the planet. The Daleks succeeded where Darkseid failed. Even his Parademons couldn’t destroy them. They somehow even immunized themselves against his Omega Effect! I don’t even know what their mission is!”

“To mine Earth’s core and replace it with an interstellar engine,” said the Doctor. “The primary mineshaft is in England, Bedfordshire to be precise.”

“…How on Earth do you-?”

“Because the Daleks fail in that regard, thanks her first incarnation,” explained Tysar.

“…Don’t give me hope, child,” sighed Wonder Woman. “Hope died a long time ago.”

“That’s what the humans thought too, at least the general population,” said the Doctor. “But…there ARE resistance groups.”

“…You’re sure?” asked Wonder Woman.

“They helped me defeat the Daleks in that time,” confirmed the Doctor. “When I send you back, you must promise me you’ll find a resistance group. Give them the hope they need to fight back! You’ll see the end of the occupation! You’ll avenge the Amazons by defying the Daleks and saying to them ‘No! Earth will NOT be exterminated!’ …Now, I can’t say that the pain of being the last will go away. It never does. …But you CAN prevent others from suffering that fate!” Wonder Woman looked at the Doctor…and saw genuine understanding in her eyes. …The Amazon then clenched her fist.

“…You’re right, Doctor!” she said. “My friends would not give up…neither will I!” There was a ferocity in her voice, a ferocity she had forgotten so long ago.

“First things first, Wondy,” said Wolverine. “We gotta find her box.”

“It’s still in Gotham, probably near here,” explained the Doctor.

“…Hey, didn’t someone go through the roof?” asked Iron Man.

“…You’re right, the Joker should have come back by now.” A portal then appeared above their heads and the Joker fell out of it, landing face first on the ground. He picked himself up and snarled.

“…I HAVE BEEN FALLING…FOR THIRTY MINUTES!” he shouted.

“Whoever cast that portal must have slowed down time in that hole,” remarked the Doctor.

“I thought it would amuse me, Doctor,” replied a voice the Doctor hadn’t heard in a long time. Stepping into the warehouse with divine swagger reserved for those that were so sure of their power was a man with black hair in a green outfit with gold trim and a gold helmet with horns on it. He carried a spear with a green stone in it.

“…Loki Laufeyson,” greeted the Doctor.

“The Norse god of trickery and fire?” asked Wonder Woman.

“Hey, just a second!” protested the Joker. “I didn’t get my prize yet!” He pointed at the stone in the spear.

“Oh yes, the deal we made,” said Loki. “My apologies.”

“Loki, what are you talking about?” asked Iron Man. “And why do you have the Time Stone?”

“It’s my best weapon of keeping Omega at bay,” replied Loki. The Doctor flinched at that. “…Ah, you know of whom I speak, don’t you, Doctor?”

“…Doc, you wanna shed some light?” asked Wolverine.

“…Omega was one of the founders of Time Lord society,” explained the Doctor. “He was a brilliant stellar engineer and learned how to harness a singularity to become a rich source of power for my people. …But his experiments sent him to an anti-matter universe and he went mad with revenge against the universe for thinking the Time Lords had abandoned him in favor of Rassilon. This current Grouping crisis is the result of him trying to escape once again.”

“Trying to, Doctor?” chuckled Loki. “No. Omega IS free and walks our universe. He’s developed a full body for himself. With the Time Stone, I can track him down and slay him!”

“No, Loki, you can’t!” replied the Doctor. “His power is too much, even for you or Darkseid! Even all six Infinity Stones and the Omega Effect can’t stop him!”

“I’m willing to put that to the test,” dismissed Loki. “But first, a little test. Wonder Woman, you came from 2167, is that right?”

“That’s correct,” replied Wonder Woman.

“Then I think you know who I will summon.” The wicked grin revealed his intentions! Wonder Woman used her lasso to grab the spear and pull it towards her.

“Never!” she snarled with Amazonian zeal! “No one in this century will suffer those monsters!”

“Give that back, you primitive!” snarled Loki as he prepared his magic.

“I went to a lot of trouble getting that thing,” said the Joker as he aimed his gun, “and I intend to keep it!”

“I’m sorry, 2029 is closed to evil today!” retorted Iron Man as he fired a repulsor beam at the Joker. The clown was knocked back as Loki fired his own magic blast, but Wonder Woman deflected it with her shield. Batman then got up close and kneed Loki in the stomach, winding the Asgardian.

“Quick! Into the Batmobile!” called Batman. He led everyone to his car and they all jumped in. The Joker shot at the car and Loki fired magic blasts, but it sped away, taking its passengers to safety.

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 7

Painting Chaos: Part 1

Spinning through a dimension of swirling temporal energy, a blue box journeyed with purpose. Its lamp, flashing as it spun, was pointed forward like the prow of a ship. It looked like a London Police Box of the 1960’s but inside was a technological marvel of dimensional engineering! When one steps into the box, the first room they enter is the main control room, the first clue that the box is actually bigger on the inside! The control room, as it stood now, was a red room with gold trim. A hexagonal console with a cylinder going up and down as the machine went through the Time Vortex was placed in the center of the room. Underneath one of the panels, a woman with long, platinum blonde hair was fiddling with something and singing a tune in her native language. Oddly enough, this wasn’t the owner of the machine, but their current companion, Tysar, a Thal from New Davius. “…There we go!” she said. She then closed the panel. “That should do it!”

“Um, Tysar,” came another woman’s voice, “what are you doing?” A woman with African features and a burgundy skirt with roses hemming it and a gold headband with a large rose on its left side had entered the room. This was the owner of the machine.

“Running repairs,” replied Tysar. The owner of the machine, the Time Lord known as the Doctor, flinched at that.

“Erm, Tysar,” said the Doctor, “I don’t want you to take umbrage, but might I suggest that you leave repairs of the TARDIS console to me? I know you Thals are brilliant technicians-.”

“That’s very patronizing of you, Doctor!” protested Tysar.

“Well, the TARDIS is dimensionally temperamental, and temporal engineering isn’t exactly something Thals are studying in your native time zone, is it?”

“No, but-.”

“All right then. Well, I’m glad we got that settled.”

“There’s no need to panic!” chuckled Tysar. “I was only improving the efficiency of the components that are currently helping the TARDIS track chronal surges.”

“The wha-?” The Doctor arched an eyebrow. “Why?”

“So that we can get ahead of them and fix the problem as quickly as possible, given that the Grouping’s getting worse,” explained Tysar.

“…Ah, yes,” realized the Doctor. “Gallifrey DID say that, didn’t they? Erm, well done, Tysar.” Just then, the console beeped. “All right, yes, there’s no need to test those components.”

“I’m not,” replied Tysar. “The TARDIS has detected multiple chronal surges. And we have a reading on where their victims came from and where they’re going.”

“Excellent!” praised the Doctor. “Let’s see. …There’s three! Two of them are from 2027 and one’s from…well, how about that?”

“What?” asked Tysar.

“The last one’s from 2167,” explained the Doctor.

“2167?” asked Tysar. “Isn’t that when the Daleks were occupying Earth?”

“Yes, the last year of their occupation, and all three of our victims are from Earth,” replied the Doctor. “It looks like they’re heading to…2029, Earth, United States Eastern Seaboard…Gotham!”

“Oh no!” complained Tysar, remembering when a chronal surge plucked her from New Davius and plopped her into Gotham.

“Yes, well, you don’t have to step outside, you know,” remarked the Doctor.

“No, no,” dismissed Tysar. “We have a job to do. Let’s get to it.”

“Right!” declared the Doctor as she set the coordinates.


Gotham, a hellhole of a city in the USA, where criminals were as talked about as any public figure like an actor or a politician. Even politics weren’t safe from the crime bosses’ grasp. But the criminal underworld was NOT unopposed there. While there were police officers…there were also those of the vigilante persuasion. Right now, two criminals with clown makeup on them were outside a warehouse, guarding their boss’s newest acquisition. “…So, the boss’s partner,” said one, “you sure he’s a god?”

“I was there when the guy attacked New York,” replied the other. “He’s got the right stuff to be a god. Especially the Norse God he says he is. Although, I thought he was blonde…and supposed to still be bound with Jörmungandr’s fangs dripping venom into his eyes.”

“How do you know so much about gods?” asked the first.

“Dude, when I was a kid, it wasn’t just the Greek myths that were my hyperfixation,” answered the other. The first simply nodded, then looked around. “…What’s the matter with you?” asked the other.

“Dude, we’re guarding a rock!” protested the first. “No way will the Bat wanna waste time over a rock!”

“Yeah, but it’s the boss that has that rock,” said the other, “and ain’t no way the Bat’s gonna leave him alone. There’s too much history for that. So keep watch.”

“Yeah, well, my ma always said that idle hands were the devil’s workshop.”

“Hey, I resent that! We worked damn hard on this and so did the boss!”

“True, very true!” came a cackling voice, startling the two men. “But his mother is right in this particular instance. We’ve been idle for too long!” The speaker stepped out of the shadows to reveal a man with chalk-white skin, ruby lips, green hair, and a purple suit with coattails and a rose boutonniere. This was the Clown Prince of Crime himself, the Joker! “Pack up, boys! Our divine friend is coming to Miagani Island!”

“That ain’t far, Boss,” remarked the first as he and his friend started packing.

“Hey, Boss, do we want the Bat to know right now?” asked the other. “Because if not, we’re gonna have to take the long way.”

“So be it,” replied the Joker. “Besides, it’s good to build up anticipation!”

“…Fair enough,” agreed the other. Then…a noise filled the air. “…Hey, anyone-?”

“I hear it too,” remarked the first. “What is that? A new toy from the Bat?” The TARDIS then materialized. “…Never mind, too blue.” The other gasped.

“That’s the box those doctors appeared in during that mugging in 2027!” he explained. “They’re friends of the Bat! I say we ice them!”

“I’m not Mr. Freeze, but that sounds like a splendid idea!” agreed the Joker as he pulled out a pistol. The Doctor and Tysar then stepped out and everyone froze for a second.

“All right toots, where are them doctors?!” snarled the other.

“…Hang on, we met before,” remarked the Doctor. “I flipped you over after you wanted to have your way with that poor woman. That was before Batman knocked your leader out.”

“…Lady, you weren’t there!” snapped the other. “How could you-?”

“Maybe she’s heard about that from those other doctors,” said the first.

“No, I just changed my face,” replied the Doctor. “Now, Doctor in the house here, and-.”

“Doctor, it hurts when I do THIS!” The Joker leveled his gun at the Doctor and fired, but the Doctor twirled out of the way and poked the Joker in the eyes!

“Don’t do that,” she replied as the Joker rubbed his eyes. He recovered his vision.

“SHOOT HER! SHOOT HER!” he shouted.

“You have unbelievably thin skin, Joker,” chuckled the Doctor. She dashed to the other side of the warehouse and found a good stack of boxes. She then made it wobble.

“HEY! HEY! HEY!” protested the Joker. “BE CAREFUL WITH THAT!”

“Oh, I’m being very careful,” assured the Doctor. “See, I’m on this side and it’s all going to fall…THAT WAY!” The Doctor pushed the stack so it toppled towards the Joker and his goons. As the three criminals ran, the Doctor grabbed Tysar’s hand and fled the warehouse.

“Doctor, the TARDIS-!” argued Tysar. She then heard the TARDIS take off!

“And that’s the HADS kicking in,” said the Doctor.

“The wha-?”

“Hostile Action Displacement System,” explained the Doctor. “The TARDIS moves to a relatively safer location.”

“…And where is that?” asked Tysar.

“…Well, if I…um…” The Doctor’s eyes went wide. “…You know, there are moments where I loathe the HADS.”

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE THE TARDIS IS?!” yelped Tysar. Her berating was interrupted by a vehicle approaching. A streak of black with a bat motif zoomed by.

“…There we go!” said the Doctor. “Problem solved! He’s the world’s greatest detective, he can find the TARDIS!”

“Doctor, if the TARDIS vanished from this point in space-time-!”

“No, no, no, the HADS does not engage anything related to temporal navigation,” soothed the Doctor. “It only changes its point in space, not time. And even then, it’s a relatively short hop. It will still be in Gotham. And no one can get in without the key. So we’ll just wait for him to finish up his business with the Joker and-.”

“Doc?” asked a rough man’s voice. The Doctor could smell cigars and booze behind her and turned to see a short, muscular man with his hair and sideburns pulled into points.

“…Logan?!” she spluttered. “…I don’t think I was conscious after I regenerated in the school, how did you know-?”

“Apparently your scent’s still the same,” remarked Logan, the mutant known as Wolverine. “What’s going on here?”

“I’d like to know that myself,” said another voice. A metal suit then landed with gold and red colors and a blue light in its chest.

“Oh god, Stark,” groaned Wolverine.

“Hey there, Skunk Bear,” remarked the armored person, Tony Stark as Iron Man. He then saw the Doctor. “…William told me you changed into that, Doctor. Some natural cosmetic surgery?”

“Regeneration is NOT cosmetic surgery, Mr. Stark!” hissed the Doctor. “…All right, that’s two of you from 2027, now…”

“You know what’s going on?” asked Wolverine.

“You two are in Gotham of 2029,” explained Tysar. Iron Man stepped back in surprised and Wolverine looked…well, bemused.

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 6

The Sontaran Mystic: Part 3

“Doctor, it might help if we knew what you were doing!” hissed Tysar as she and Zelda were in the room Palpatine and the Doctor were. The Doctor busied herself with typing something in.

“A little crude, don’t you think?” asked Palpatine.

“Well, I’ll need your help in wording it,” replied the Doctor. She gave the Supreme Chancellor the keyboard she was using. “Edit that so it looks like an official order.”

“…Am I understanding correctly,” he said as he looked over the words the Doctor typed, “that you want someone from a…well, a primitive culture to give that order?”

“We’re ALL primitives to the Sontarans!” argued the Doctor. “And we’re all going to die unless Zelda has the proper authority needed to give that order to the Clones here!” Palpatine glared at the Doctor, but seeing no better alternative, he fixed the Doctor’s wording so that it was an official General Order.

“Done,” he said. “But I will need to inform all Clone Commanders that Zelda has temporary control of the GAR.”

“Got it,” agreed the Doctor.

“Doctor-!” insisted Zelda.

“Zelda, all you will need to do is inform the Clones,” said the Doctor, “that they must execute General Order 151. They’ll do the rest.”

“Doctor, what’s that circle around the city on that hologram?” asked Tysar.

“That’s what Zelda is waiting for,” replied the Doctor. “When that circle is big enough to surround all Sontaran ships, that’s when Zelda tells the Clones to execute General Order 151!” Palpatine then took up a communicator and set it so that all Clone Commanders would hear him.

“All Clone Commanders, this is the Supreme Chancellor!” he reported. “For the duration of this battle, you are to obey Princess Zelda of Hyrule! Repeat, Princess Zelda of Hyrule is in command!” All Clone Commanders, while confused, confirmed their orders. That was when Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan were practically thrown through the door! They picked themselves up as Stragg and Skarr arrived, their lightsabers bathing the room in blood-red light.

“Holing up somewhere while others fight your battles for you, Doctor?” cackled Stragg. “How very like you!”

“You don’t really know me at all, do you?” retorted the Doctor.

“Sir!” called Skarr as he saw the hologram. Stragg saw it and scoffed.

“What is that supposed to be?” he asked as he pointed at the circle. “A time bomb? An energy shield? What good will that do you? It would alter history, as you fear.” The circle then turned green.

“Now, Zelda!” called the Doctor. Zelda picked up the communicator.

“All Clones, this is Princess Zelda of Hyrule!” she said. “The time has come! Execute General Order 151!”

“It will be done, my Lady,” replied a Clone’s voice.

“Rex, what’s General Order 151?” asked Anakin over the comms.

“You’ll see in a minute, Sir!” replied Rex. “Frequency uploaded to all comms! Sir, cover your ears!”

“Frequency?” asked Stragg. “What-?” He then heard a loud shrieking noise erupting from Anakin’s comms. Skarr heard the same and both Sontarans doubled over in pain, clutching their heads and screaming in agony.

“Doctor, what’s going on?!” yelped Tysar.

“Something I accidentally discovered on Samur!” replied the Doctor. She then checked the security feeds and saw that the Sontarans were experiencing the same pain as their commanders with the Clones taking the Sontarans’ weapons from them.

“DOCTOR!” wailed Stragg in pain. “WHAT…HAVE YOU…DONE?!”

“YOU ARE…HURTING US!” howled Stragg.

“I think that’s enough, Zelda!” called the Doctor as she took the Sontaran Siths’ lightsabers and blasters.

“All Clones, order fulfilled! Cease now!” ordered Zelda. The noise stopped as the Clones obeyed. Stragg and Skarr groaned in pain as they recovered.

“Doctor, what did you do?!” asked Palpatine.

“I caused the Clones’ communicators to bounce a signal off the Sontarans’ mothership, keying it to the Sontarans’ consciousness,” explained the Doctor. “The resulting feedback reverberated right into the Sontarans’ mid-brain by way of the probic vents on the backs of their necks.”

“You…did that…deliberately!” panted Stragg.

“On Samur, it was an accident,” said the Doctor. “I had to recall what I did with Sontaran communicators very quickly. Let me tell you, the roar of battle almost made me forget all about it.”

“Raise your arm, my apprentice!” Stragg hissed to Skarr. “Let’s see how much lightning she can take!”

“With…pleasure, Sir!” replied Skarr as he raised his hand.

“I wouldn’t do that, Stragg,” warned Anakin. “Not while any of us could use the signal at any moment and plunge all the Sontarans into mental agony.”

“Of course,” remarked Palpatine with the usual disarming smile politicians are infamous for.

“…Hold your fire, Skarr,” growled Stragg, realizing that Anakin would probably be the first to use that signal if any of his troops or allies were attacked. “…What do you want, Doctor?”

“I want you to return to your original point in space-time!” demanded the Doctor. “You, your apprentice, your troops, your ships and technology, they all have to leave this galaxy in this time and never return until the end of this galaxy’s history!”

“…You won’t stop us from returning at a point in time when the Jedi and Sith fail?” asked Stragg.

“…No,” replied the Doctor. Stragg and Skarr grinned.

“…Very well,” said Stragg. “Let me call my troops.”


For his part, Stragg upheld his end of the bargain. When all the technology was returned to the Sontarans, they boarded their ships and left Kamino, then left the galaxy and time altogether. “Doctor, that was a brave thing you did,” said Palpatine.

“The Supreme Chancellor is right,” agreed Anakin. “You should help us. We’d win the war quicker with you.”

“Thank you, but I can’t,” replied the Doctor. “I’ve got to get Zelda back and my involvement in your war at this time is dangerous enough as it is.”

“Very well, we cannot stop you,” said Palpatine as the Doctor brought Tysar and Zelda back to the TARDIS. “Farewell.” The Doctor replied with a terse wave and she and her companions entered the TARDIS. The doors shut and the TARDIS took off.


The Doctor leaned against one of the console room’s walls and sighed in relief. “That…was too close!” she said.

“Doctor, what’s supposed to happen to all those Clones?” asked Tysar.

“…Tragedy for the entire galaxy,” replied the Doctor. “A year later, Palpatine seduces Anakin to the Dark Side, replacing Count Dooku as his apprentice. He then enacts General Order 66, the utter extermination of the Jedi Order. After which, Anakin and Obi-Wan duel and Obi-Wan wins but leaves Anakin on the choking lava world of Mustafar. Having lost so many limbs, been burned horribly, and his breathing permanently damaged, Palpatine, having restructured the Republic into the Galactic Empire and declared himself the Emperor, rescues Anakin, but traps him in a cybernetic suit, thus turning Anakin fully into his cyborg apprentice, Darth Vader. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan, the former Jedi Grandmaster, Yoda, and other stray survivors go into hiding. Ahsoka Tano and a few clones like Rex that did not obey Order 66 thanks to damage to their inhibitor chips hold out for a time. Ahsoka becomes a gray Jedi, one who can safely use both aspects of the Force without the dogma of either Jedi or Sith, and she attains the rank of master in her own way. Meanwhile, Anakin’s children are separated, his daughter being raised by the Organas of Alderaan while his son is raised by Owen and Beru Lars on Tatooine where Obi-Wan keeps watch as Ben Kenobi. Nineteen years later, Alderaan is destroyed by the Empire’s new super-weapon, galvanizing the Alliance to Restore the Republic into action as well as causing Anakin’s children, Luke and Leia, to meet. The Battle of Yavin results in the super-weapon being destroyed, the first event that leads to the Empire’s downfall at the Battle of Endor. But Imperial remnants flock together and become the First Order, causing terror in the galaxy and sparking another resistance. It’s discovered that Palpatine survived after Vader, returning to the Light Side thanks to Luke’s efforts, used his final moments to overthrow Palpatine. Palpatine’s secret granddaughter, Rey, overcame her grandfather at Exegol later in the galaxy’s history and, through destroying Palpatine and the Sith remnants there, practically reset the Force now that both Jedi and Sith are gone.” The Doctor panted after that history lesson.

“…So while turmoil still plagues the galaxy,” Zelda summed up, “peace DOES eventually come about.”

“Exactly.”

“…Well, Doctor,” said Zelda, “I believe I need to ensure the peace of Hyrule.” By then, the TARDIS beeped.

“Sounds like you’re about to get there soon!” chuckled Tysar. The Doctor keyed in a command on the console.

“There we are!” she said. “All right, Zelda, back to Hyrule!”

“Goodbye Doctor!” called Zelda. The Doctor pressed a button and Zelda faded.

“…I know this is a long shot, but is the Grouping over?” asked Tysar.

“I doubt it, but let’s check with Gallifrey,” replied the Doctor. She then made a call. “This is the Doctor, contacting Gallifrey. Gallifrey, come in please.”

“Gallifrey receiving, Grandfather,” replied a voice. Susan’s face then appeared. Tysar gasped.

“She’s still around?!” she gasped.

“Grandfather, is that the Thal I heard about behind you?” asked Susan.

“It sure is!” replied the Doctor. “She was a Grouping victim. Landed on Earth in the 21st century. She’s helping me with the Grouping right now.”

“Well, Grandfather,” said Susan, “I’m afraid things have gotten worse. Multiple chronal surges are centered around specific points in space and time. One point can have three chronal surges centered around it.”

“Drat. Sorry Tysar, but it looks like it’s getting worse.”

“Well, we’ll have to fix it,” sighed Tysar.

“Although, Grandfather,” said Susan, “we HAVE determined something.”

“Oh?” asked the Doctor.

“It looks like the surges are because of something trying to escape an anti-matter universe, that…Under-verse, I think it was called.” The Doctor’s eyes went wide.

“…He’s trying to break out!” she whispered.

“Doctor?” asked Tysar.

“Susan, I know what’s going on now!” said the Doctor. “I’ll send a hyper-cube about it as soon as I can!”

“Very well, Grandfather. Good luck,” bid Susan. The Doctor ended the call and worked the console feverishly.

“He’s coming back,” she muttered. “Drat it all! I knew it was too easy at the end of that Reality War!”

“Doctor, will you please explain what’s got you so worried?!” urged Tysar. “Are you telling me you know who’s behind the Grouping?”

“…A Time Lord. …One of the first. …An old friend of Rassilon’s. …Omega!”

Categories
Doctor Who: Crossings Series 6

The Sontaran Mystic: Part 2

“Gallifrey already determined,” said the Doctor, “that you lot aren’t behind the current Grouping Crisis.”

“No, but we CAN take advantage of the chronal surges!” replied the lead Sontaran.

“So can Cybermen, apparently. Someone stole a chronal net from them.”

“The Cybermen stole the idea of the chronal net from us!” The Doctor couldn’t help but laugh.

“So, the Cybermen did a bit of espionage on the mightiest army in the-!” Her laughter was cut short as she felt an invisible hand clenching its fingers around her throat, cutting off her air!

“It would be wise, Doctor, not to choke on your aspirations!” joked the lead Sontaran as he held his hand in a choking motion. He then flicked his wrist and the Doctor collapsed to the ground, her breathing returning to normal after a few coughs.

“…F-Force…sensitivity!” she gasped. “You…you can…use the Force!”

“Indeed, Doctor! Since I am feeling uncharacteristically charitable, I shall give you the privilege of knowing my name and the name of my apprentice! I am General Stragg of the 27th Sontaran Army! Stragg the Night-breaker! But you can simply call me Darth Noctis! Lieutenant! Give the Doctor your name!”

“I am Skarr, second-in-command of the 27th Sontaran Army,” introduced the second-in-command. “Skarr the Bone-cruncher. Best known as Darth Fractus!”

“Sontaran Sith!” hissed the Doctor.

“Precisely, Doctor. But what good are impressive powers if they can’t be shared?” asked Stragg.

“That’s not the modern Sith way,” remarked the Doctor. “Haven’t you heard of the Rule of Two? Skarr’s gonna have to kill you before he takes on an apprentice!”

“That ridiculous rule,” replied Skarr, “was only implemented because Darth Bane could not properly check the ambition of the Sith when they were equal in number to the Jedi, thus proving the original Sith’s weakness and predilection to infighting. Sontarans have no such weakness. We know when to check our ambition for the greater good.”

“Easy, my apprentice,” directed Stragg. “You must remember that, in this time, the Rule of Two was only to enact Bane’s plan of revenge. …A revenge that will fail in due course.”

“Stragg, there’s more to this than you wanting to swing a lightsaber and throw lightning,” said the Doctor. “You chose Kamino because of its cloning techniques. But why? Sontaran cloning techniques outpace the Kaminoans’.”

“Nothing wrong with wanting to learn how previous cloning geniuses did it in their heyday,” replied Stragg. “Besides, every Sontaran that has studied the Clone Wars has always wanted to test their might against the Grand Arm of the Republic! Their courage was told in song and legend, and I see now that they do not give the Clones enough credit! Also…I wanted to test myself against heroes like Skywalker and Kenobi before time blunted them!”

“Alternatively, you could just walk away and return to your time. Leave the sacking of Tipoca to someone else.”

“History was very vague on what causes the fall of Kamino,” remarked Stragg.

“…Not as vague as you think, Stragg. I’m sorry to say that its fall will come from one man. …Just not here and now. Stragg, help me to preserve history and leave this time!”

“Not a chance, Doctor! The Clone Wars offer too many opportunities to ignore outright! I won’t be so cowardly as to turn away from it!” Stragg reignited his lightsaber and raised it. “TO GLORIOUS BATTLE! CHARGE!” Skarr ignited his own lightsaber as the Sontarans charged. The Clones opened fire with Anakin and Obi-Wan deflecting Sontaran fire with their own blue lightsabers.


When the battle began, the Doctor and Tysar returned to speak with Zelda as she covered her ears over the noise! “What kind of weapons are they?!” asked the Hylian Princess.

“Weapons uglier than swords or crossbows, I can assure you,” replied the Doctor. “We have to drive the Sontarans off of Kamino!”

“Doctor, what were those swords of light?!” asked Tysar.

“Lightsabers,” replied the Doctor. “The signature weapons of the Jedi and their splinter Sith. The Jedi, those that study the light side of a mystic energy called the Force, are usually identified with blue or green lightsabers while the Sith use red or crimson lightsabers to represent their studies of the darker aspects of the Force. The Jedi preach restraint while the Sith preach unleashing their full potential, but dogmatism infects both sides, leading to their eventual fall, first the Jedi, then the Sith utterly, leading to a reset for the Force at the battle of Exegol.”

“When is that battle supposed to happen?” asked Zelda.

“55 years from now,” said the Doctor. “The Sontarans presence will alter history too drastically!”

“So how do we get rid of them?” asked Tysar. “Sontarans follow no commands but their own!”

“I need some place to think,” muttered the Doctor.


Back with Obi-Wan and Anakin, the two were dueling the two Force-sensitive Sontarans. While, as a rule, Sontaran muscles weren’t designed for agility like most humanoid races thanks to the immense gravity of their home planet of Sontar, Stragg and Skarr were proving to be just as acrobatic as any Jedi, locking Obi-Wan and Anakin in a stalemate. “I must admit, General,” Obi-Wan remarked to Stragg, “I’m not sure how you intend to share your power because Sith, in general, DON’T share power.”

“Neither do you Jedi,” remarked Stragg. “But imagine the midichlorians you tap into being cloned!”

“You can’t clone midichlorians!” protested Anakin.

“Who’s to say the attempt won’t be made in this galaxy?” asked Skarr.


The Doctor was in a protected room, thinking. “How could Sith powers propagate throughout the Sontaran Empire?” she pondered. …Then she remembered her first adventure in this galaxy, a bit further into its future. “…With their cloning techniques, the Sontarans would make Project Necromancer a success.”

“Project Necromancer?” asked Palpatine’s voice, startling the Doctor.

“Didn’t know you were there, your Excellency,” she said mockingly once she caught her breath. “…This room is shielded from all forms of communication? No sound can enter or exit this room?”

“Yes, of course,” replied Palpatine.

“Good. Then here’s a bit of advice. Hold off on Order 66 until you’ve got Anakin fully in your grasp.”

“I’m sure I don’t-.”

“Palpatine, I’m a time traveler. Your history is known to me, especially when you murdered Plagueis in his sleep.” Palpatine pinned the Doctor to the wall and ignited his lightsaber, holding the blade near her throat.

“Tell anyone-!” he snarled.

“It won’t do me any good, Sidious!” hissed the Doctor. “I try telling the Jedi that you’re the Sith Lord they’re looking for, and the history of this galaxy is undone!” Palpatine looked into the Doctor’s eyes, then chuckled.

“Your own laws prevent you from altering history,” he guessed. He switched off his lightsaber.

“Sadly, yes. Much as I want to prevent it, your empire needs to rise, and General Order 66 needs to be carried out. …But Anakin is not yet ready to replace Dooku. …Oh well, enough about events of your future, let’s focus on the present. The Sontarans’ cloning techniques are far superior to Kamino’s. I’ll bet you any credits that they’ll try and clone the midichlorians in their commanders and turn this world into their cloning factory dedicated to making Sontaran Sith.”

“Then we must prevent that, because, as of now, this is a Republic protected world.”

“Can’t the inhibitor chips in the Clones do something?” asked the Doctor.

“There was never a contingency based on this event,” replied Palpatine. The Doctor then snapped her fingers in a eureka moment!

“Can additions be made to the orders on the inhibitor chips?!” she asked.

“Temporary ones, yes,” replied Palpatine.

“Excellent! I need Zelda down here! She’s got the head for command!”


The Sontarans were slowly pushing the Clones back as Stragg and Skarr continued to duel Obi-Wan and Anakin. The two Jedi were tiring. “Anakin, I know this isn’t your favorite,” said Obi-Wan, “but-!”

“We can’t retreat!” argued Anakin. “The Sontarans will swarm the city!” His communicator went off.

“Master!” came Ahsoka’s voice.

“Little busy here, Snips!” retorted Anakin.

“Master, the Doctor’s found a place we can lead the Sontarans to!” explained Ahsoka.

“…That makes the situation different,” decided Anakin. “EVERYONE! FALL BACK!” He, Obi-Wan, and Rex covered the retreat.

“COWARDS!” bellowed Skarr.

“…No, this is a strategic withdrawal,” said Stragg. “They’re leading us somewhere. …And that thrice-damned Doctor is behind all this, I’m sure. …We shall pursue!”

“Sir?” asked Skarr.

“We shall spring the Doctor’s trap early, my apprentice,” explained Stragg. “Even when she was a man, she couldn’t think clearly when her plans were accelerated.” He turned to his men. “Pursue them! SONTAR HA!”

“SONTAR HA! SONTAR HA! SONTAR HA!” chanted the Sontarans as they marched into Tipoca City.