Kamen Rider Claw! My weapons shall turn you into ribbons!
Tag: sheela kumar
Notice anything “catty” about her? *rotten vegetables thrown at artist* ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! SORRY!
Bio:
Two phrases describe Ms. Kumar of India, purple obsessed and crazy cat lady. Sheela’s clothes have to have something cat related and purple on them. She’s got five cats at home and a room done up in purple. She’s even taken to filing her nails into claws and wearing purple cat ears and a purple tail. She’s even researched all she could about the jungle cats and house cats.
She’s gotten some odd looks, but she doesn’t care. Those that tried to do harm to her experience a fighting style she’s developed on her own, based on felines both domestic and wild. When they tried to report to the police that a woman/cat hybrid attacked them, they were usually thrown in jail for being so drunk, as most of her, admittedly few, assailants were.
She had discovered the Feudal Nerd Society when she moved to the US to finish her education. She was a late comer, joining three years after its founding. Now, she fights as Kamen Rider Claw to save the multiverse from disaster.
“Get moving, you stupid…!” grumbled Homer as he kicked the tortoise. We stayed behind. “When I’m kicking you,” continued Homer to the tortoise, “that means hurry up! Come on!” He then punted the poor creature like a football!
“Poor tortoise!” I cried. Homer charged off after the tortoise and arrived at a low altar. The tortoise moved its head to the top.
“Oh, you want me to climb that, huh?” muttered Homer. “No problemo!” He was the one who opened his mouth, he was the one that made a large step pyramid grow with the altar on top. Homer snarled, then kicked the tortoise again. The pyramid grew another level. “D’OH!”
“Well, this is a surprise,” I muttered.
“I’m surprised to see y’all,” called a hillbilly’s voice. Sitting behind us on a rock was a backwoods brunette girl.
“Heather!” shouted Ben. He readied the Omnitrix and slapped down on the core. Rocks covered him and a fire spread out from the core of his body, lighting his head on fire. “HEATBLAST!” he called. “Tell me, can you handle the heat?!”
“Can you handle a Highbreed like my partner?” asked Heather. Heatblast was then decked and forced back into Ben. A large Atasian came into view. It had a humanoid female appearance, but I couldn’t say until she spoke.
“Idiotic cattle!” boomed the Atasian woman. “You cannot stop me!”
“Suppose we make the attempt?” taunted Kōta.
“Do not embarrass yourself, vermin!” snapped the Atasian. Kōta brought out his Lockseed and I got out my i.d tag.
“ORANGE!” announced the Lockseed as he opened it.
“Henshin!” we called. We then transformed in our usual styles.
“Lock on! Soiya! Orange arms! Hanamichi! On stage!” announced the Sengoku Driver. I unleashed my bagh naka as Gaim took out his orange slice sword. Heather laughed.
“I’ve heard of someone being a fruit, but that’s ridiculous!” she laughed.
“I have gay friends that would take offense to that,” I hissed. I charged at Heather and swung my bagh naka, only for them to pass through. “Oh, right, dead.” I sighed.
“I’ve got her!” called Ben. He slapped on the Omnitrix again. “GHOSTFREAK!” Ghostfreak then flew to Heather while she sidestepped Ben and had him fly through a rock. Meanwhile, Gaim and Rook were attacking the Atasian. Gaim then grabbed the Atasian’s arm.
“Unhand me, MONGREL!” roared the Atasian as she threw Gaim off.
“Mother! Enough!” called Reinrassic. The woman stopped her assault and looked at Reinrassic. We all stopped when Reinrassic called the Atasian woman “Mother”.
“Wait, that’s your mom?!” yelped Ghostfreak.
“Asoorma II,” confirmed Reinrassic. “4th daughter of the Noble Highbreed House of Samertha, direct descendant of the Pure Blooded Order of Narseen, and Wife to my late Father, Reinrassic II.”
“Reinrassic, what are you doing here?!” cheered Asoorma. “It is good to see you again! Now, our operations can…” she saw Reinrassic’s arm. “…Reinrassic III, seventh son of the Noble Highbreed House of Derazza, direct descendant of the Pure Blooded High Order of Rarsect, what happened?!”
“A lot of recent events have occurred during your absence,” explained Reinrassic. “Especially my election as Atasian Supreme.”
“Highbreed Supreme!” exclaimed Asoorma. “And that is a lie!”
“No, it isn’t,” argued Ghostfreak. “Kevin, Gwen, and I saw him get that position.”
“Liars!” bellowed Asoorma. “The High Council would never allow someone like him to be Highbreed Supreme!”
“But I have!” protested Reinrassic.
“Impossible!” dismissed Asoorma. “You’ve allowed yourself to become…”
“Stronger!” interrupted Reinrassic.
“Oh, for the love of…IMPURE! LOOK AT YOUR HAND!!” boomed Asoorma.
“Yes, Mother, look at it!” demanded Reinrassic. He then showed his palm. It had a tattoo with four red eyes and black lines around them. Asoorma was surprised.
“The Imperial Seal?!” she exclaimed. “A new Highbreed Supreme?! But…but we were dying out! Corsanth was going to be the last Highbreed Supreme! Besides, I was only to be awakened if we lost the war!”
“The war has ended,” explained Reinrassic. “And, it has ended peacefully, thanks to Ben B…I mean, Ben Tennyson.” He pointed to Ghostfreak. “You see, our species had its DNA altered to save us. I was the first he had saved. After an accident that stranded us both on a desert world, I lost my arm. Ben turned into a creature known as Swampfire and made a new one for me. The new limb rewrote my DNA. At first, I thought it a curse, but now, I see that I draw new strength from it! Mother, we can live again!” Asoorma sat down to consider her son’s words.
“Don’t listen to him!” shouted Heather. “What is power if there isn’t a perfect being to wield it?! Only a pure species can be perfect! The rest of life is nothing more than refuse! Don’t be tainted by your son’s impure words!”
“Mother, what good is purity if it leads to our extinction?!” asked Reinrassic.
“No other life-form needs to be above you!” countered Heather. “That’s what the war was about! You were going to end all life in the universe so you can die as superiors!” Asoorma then held up a hand for silence.
“I have decided,” she declared. “Ben Tennyson, you altered my people’s DNA to save us from extinction?”
“Yes,” replied Ghostfreak.
“Do so with me,” directed Asoorma.
“WHAT!?” shrieked Heather.
“One minute!” called Ghostfreak. He then turned back into Ben. “Omnitrix, can you repair Asoorma’s genetic damage?”
“Genetic Recombination sequence ready,” reported the Omnitrix.
“Do it!” ordered Ben. A ring of light spread out across the desert. When it faded, Asoorma’s coloration looked different. She had a dark blue body with green eyes, a light blue face, and black arms and feet. She looked herself over. “Omnitrix, what did you blend her with?” asked Ben.
“Genetically damaged Atasian was spliced with Necrofriggian DNA,” replied the Omnitrix.
“You use our original name for our species?” asked Asoorma.
“It was per my instructions,” explained Reinrassic.
“Very well,” sighed Asoorma.
“IDIOT!” shouted Heather. “I knew the name ‘Highbreed’ was misplaced amongst you mongrels!”
“Funny how the words stings, correct?” muttered Reinrassic to Asoorma.
“Don’t talk,” hissed Asoorma. “I have yet to discover how useful this form is.”
“You won’t get a chance!” declared Heather. She then jabbed her fingers into Asoorma’s head. Asoorma screamed, then fainted.
“That’s it! No more of Heather’s monkeying around!” declared Ben. He selected an alien and became “SPIDERMONKEY!” He then decked Heather. He started making monkey noises before speaking. “Looks like you’re not as intangible as Ghostfreak!” he said.
“Hold on! This is my fight too!” called Gaim.
“I’ve got an idea!” I announced. “Everyone rush her at once!” We all got our final attacks ready. Gaim sliced the Lockseed three times.
“ORANGE SPARKING!” called the belt. Gaim’s Orange armor folded up into its orange shape and he head-bashed Heather with it. I inserted my i.d tag into my bagh naka.
“Final attack!” announced my weapons.
“RIDER CLAW SLASH!” I shouted as I slashed the air twice, making a tiger out of the energy wave swat Heather. Appropriate, given that bagh naka means tiger claw in Hindi. Spidermonkey slapped on the Omnitrix symbol and turned into a small creature in a white suit with green, narrow eyes, a green mouth, headphones with the connector on the back of the head, and cassette tapes on his lower legs. He had green holes on the back of his hands.
“ECHO ECHO!” called the new creature in a robotic tone. He then turned the Ultimatrix rig key and slapped on the Omnitrix symbol again. He was bathed in green light and grew. He became blue and metallic with a rounded design. He had fifteen blue holes on him and had green cables attaching from the back to the hands and smaller cables from the mouth to the collarbone location. “ULTIMATE ECHO ECHO!” announced the new creature in a deeper robotic tone. He took two holes, revealed to be discs, from his shoulders and tossed them at Heather. They replicated and surrounded her. “SONIC DOOM!” called Ultimate Echo Echo. Heather was bombarded by sound waves and fell to the ground. Gwen tossed a large, pink mana blast and Kevin touched a rock to cover himself in the rock’s material. He then morphed his hand into a sword and slashed Heather. Max, Rusty, and Rook fired with their respective weapons and Reinrassic fired darts from his right arm. The darts projected fire when they fell at Heather’s feet. Heather passed out and fell. “You never did that before!” yelped Ultimate Echo Echo.
“And you never altered your creatures before,” replied Reinrassic. “All Atasians have found that your genetic repair has granted us powers based on those creatures.”
“So, you can control plants, too?” asked Ultimate Echo Echo as he cancelled his transformation and returned to being Ben.
“Not as well as Swampfire,” answered Reinrassic.
“Well, she’ll get out of it,” I replied, referring to Heather. “So, we best continue following Homer.”
“And leave my mother here?!” snapped Reinrassic. Asoorma then stirred. “Mother, are you all right?”
“Ooff!” moaned Asoorma. “That was…unpleasant!” She shook her head. “Although, I do have to admit, the genetic repair helped me recover faster. Perhaps there IS strength in mixing genetics. My thanks, Ben Tennyson.”
“No problem,” replied Ben. “Let’s get out of here.” Gaim and I cancelled our transformations and we all followed closely behind Homer.
“This is because I kicked you, isn’t it?” he grumbled. He had to extend some steps like bleachers, but he made it to the top. It took so long that the moon was out. “Ooh! I hate this place!” whined Homer. He then turned to the heavens. “Why am I here?!” A giant coyote’s head then appeared!
“There is a lesson you must learn,” said the coyote head.
“If it’s about laying off the insanity peppers,” answered Homer, “I’m way ahead of you.” The coyote head then turned into mist, then reformed as a normal sized, complete coyote…as normal as a talking coyote can be.
“No, I speak of a deeper wisdom,” it replied. “The problem, Homer, is that the mind is always chattering away, with a thousand thoughts at once.”
“Yeah, that’s me alright,” responded Homer.
“What thoughts?” whispered Reinrassic. He was sternly hushed by Asoorma. “Yes, mother,” he muttered.
“You must find your soulmate,” declared the coyote.
“Soulmate?” asked Homer.
“Your kindred spirit,” explained the coyote. “The one with whom you share an unspoken bond.” The coyote then ran off.
“Hey! Wait! COME BACK!” called Homer. Too late, the coyote was gone. “Aww!” Then, a whistle blew. Homer saw the source coming at him in the sky! “Ah! A ghost train! And so little time to get out of the way! Now less! Now none!” The idiot was plastered onto the cowcatchers of the train.
“Hop on!” I directed. Everyone got onto the door railings of the coaches as we flew through the air, went through a purple portal, and…
“D’OH!” exclaimed Homer. We all woke up in various areas of a golf course. My team and I were in the forest near the green while Homer was in a sand trap. We picked ourselves up and ran our hands over our faces. We were drenched in sweat.
“Those peppers must have hallucinogenic properties,” panted Rook.
“Heather and I ate some before we met you,” answered Asoorma.
“Why?!” I asked. “You know what, never mind, we still need to get Reinrassic’s badge back.”
“Badge?” asked Asoorma.
“Reiny’s a Plumber!” called Ben.
“And my first day is rather hectic,” muttered Reinrassic. “Wound up in this universe, lost my badge to that man, and ended up as a caged freak. My day was not going well until Ben B…Ben and his associates arrived.”
“…Reiny?” asked Asoorma. “How did you find out about my nickname for my son?”
“That’s why I was against being called Reiny!” wailed Reinrassic to Ben.
“Can we please?!” I protested.
“Wha…?” mumbled Homer. “The Golf Course? Maybe the desert was just a sand trap.” He started walking off. “Wherever my soulmate is, it’s not here.”
“After him!” I called. We followed him closely, staying out of sight. He wandered around Springfield and the weather changed. It became dark, rainy, and cold. Even with my furry dress, I shivered. Reinrassic and his mother seemed to be doing just fine. “How are you looking so fit?!” I shivered.
“Highbr…Atasians…function better in colder climates,” replied Asoorma.
“Granted, we would prefer snow,” continued Reinrassic, “but, what’s the phrase ‘Them’s the breaks’.”
“You seem to be catching up on Earth expressions faster than I am,” mused Rook.
“It’s nothing but trial and error,” remarked Reinrassic. Homer managed to lead us to the pier. He stopped at a dock and sat down.
“I give up!” he called. He then saw something. “Huh? What’s that blinking light?” He then realized something. “The lighthouse keeper! The loneliest man in the world! He’ll understand me!” He took control of a salvage boat, got the boat’s crane to get something from the water, and move it onto the dock. He pushed it to the roof of a building and climbed up. He then broke the glass ceiling with his sonic belch and fell through. There was toxic waste in there, so Homer activated the sprinklers to wash it away. He then burst through the window and made it to a long wooden path stretching to the lighthouse. He started running out of breath. “I give up!” he wailed again.
“Find your soulmate, Homer,” urged the coyote’s voice. “Find your soulmate!”
“Where?! Where?!” called Homer.
“This is just your memory,” replied the coyote’s voice. “I can’t give you any new information.” That confused me, as I know we all heard it. Homer pressed on and made it to the small island the lighthouse was based. We used rowboats to get there. As we landed, Homer was climbing up the rocks that made up the island. As he did, the Plumber’s badge fell out of his pocket! Reinrassic claimed it and polished it.
“Mission accomplished!” I called. That was when Heather again attacked us. She punched Asoorma and got some sort of quarter-circle from her.
“MOTHER!” yelped Reinrassic.
“That’s one!” cheered Heather. “Three to go, and I’ll have my own Apocalypse Driver!”
“Earl!” called Homer. “My new friend’s name is Earl!”
“Ta-ta!” bid Heather as she made a portal.
“Stop!” I shouted. Too late. She went through. I let my shoulders droop. Reinrassic patted me on the back in a “there-there” fashion. “You know,” I muttered, “maybe it’ll get nowhere. Even so, I’d like to see how Homer’s mysterious voyage bears fruit.” We climbed up, getting battered by wind and flying debris, adding to our bruises with Heather, and made it inside. We climbed up the stairs and made it to the lighthouse’s bulb. We stayed out the door while Homer looked around. He then saw, on a computer screen, that Earl was an acronym for Electronic Automatic Robotic Lighthouse.
“A machine?!” wailed Homer. “Earl’s a machine?! Oh, that’s just perfect! Homer’s desperate search for a soulmate has yielded a lighthouse keeping robot! Oh, WOW!” He then looked out the window. “Alone! I’m alone! I’m a lonely, insignificant speck on a has-been planet orbited by a cold, indifferent sun!” We then heard footsteps. We got out of the person’s way as she made it to Homer. “Oh! MARGE!” called Homer happily. They ran towards each other and embraced one another, kissing deeply. Once the embrace broke off, Homer said to the heavens “In your face, space coyote!” A seagull then smacked against the window, startling Homer, causing him to barrel into us and fall down the stairs, becoming more bruised than ever! At that point, Asoorma asked to go home while Reinrassic asked to return with Ben. I opened a portal for Asoorma and summoned one for us. That’s why we’re so battered, your Majesty.
When you had left, your Majesty, I was getting myself ready for a tour of After Academy. All of a sudden, I saw Team 10 rushing to the portal. I headed after them and saw Rusty about to jump after them! “HEY!” I called. “What’s going on here?!”
“No time to talk!” rushed Ben. “Plumber in trouble!”
“What?” I asked.
“The intergalactic police force of Ben’s universe,” explained Rusty. “I’m going with them.”
“Just a sec!” I protested. “We can’t…!” The portal opened and Team 10 jumped in.
“Wait for me!” called Rusty as she jumped in.
“Stop!” I demanded as I followed after them. Too late. We landed back in Springfield. “What were you thinking?!” I berated. “Do you have any notion what Megumi’s gonna do to us?! We’re in a state of emergency! She ordered all hands on deck!”
“We have got to get whatever Plumber is in danger,” countered Rook.
“Without backup?!” I wailed. “Just get Megumi!”
“We can’t wait for her!” protested Max. “We’re going!”
“No one’s going anywhere!” I demanded.
“Too late for that,” remarked Kevin.
“Rusty, talk some sense into these guys!” I snapped.
“I did. Why do you think I joined them?” answered Rusty.
“RUSTY!” I protested.
“We can’t leave a person in distress,” insisted Rusty. “For all we know that person could be taken by Vortech.”
“What would Plumbers supply Vortech with?!” I argued.
“All that tech, for one thing,” replied Kevin.
“And he could use the Plumbers to get to Galvan and get into Azmuth’s schematics of the Omnitrix,” figured Gwen.
“He could also play you guys for fools and plant a fake signal to get the Omnitrix!” I replied. “That thing is the Foundation Element of your universe!”
“We can’t risk letting a potential Plumber be captured!” snapped Max. There was a tone of finality. I sighed.
“There’s no talking you out of this, is there?” I sighed. Everybody shook their heads. “All right, but we stick to the shadows! I don’t want to interfere with any events in this universe.”
“Agreed,” complied Max.
“All right, let’s find that Plumber and get out of here as quickly as possible,” I declared. We headed down a street, staying out of sight as we followed the beacon marker on the Omnitrix. It stopped when we reached a house. Ben slapped the Omnitrix for a bit, but nothing happened.
“Of course!” hissed Ben. “Why WOULDN’T you lose it?!”
“Er, Ben,” stopped Rook, “I think the Omnitrix has found the source, actually.”
“What?” asked Ben. Rook pointed into a house, the house belonging to Homer and his family. They were having a meal and Homer was trying to read the paper when he noticed something.
“Hey! Who cut something out of my paper?!” he quizzed. He looked around the table to see Bart eating and Marge cutting the bottom of the cereal box out. Homer was clueless. After a few seconds, the phone rang. Homer got up and headed over to get it. It was then that I saw a disc with the Omnitrix symbol on it in his rear pocket.
“A Plumber’s badge?” yelped Max.
“How did he acquire one?” asked Rook.
“We need to talk to him,” I declared.
“I thought you said…” hissed Rusty.
“We’re only getting answers,” I assured. Homer then picked up the phone.
“Yello?” began Homer. “Oh! Hi, Lenny! …No, why would I need a ride this afternoon?” At that point, Marge decided it was time to vacuum the house. “TO THE BIG ANNUAL WHAT?” shouted Homer over the phone. Marge then “accidentally” bumped the phone’s plug loose with the vacuum cleaner and the call disconnected. “Ah, well,” mused Homer as the phone went dead. “If it was big and annual, I’m sure they would have mentioned it in the newspaper.” He then got a drumstick, but the dog grabbed it. “Yeah, it’s a lazy, dog-dangling afternoon,” muttered Homer. “But, something’s a little off.” He sniffed the dog’s mouth and then waved his hand in front of his nose. “I gotta go get some fresh air,” he said. He went outside to get the aforementioned fresh air and inhaled deeply. He then sniffed more quickly. “What’s that smell?” he yelped. He sniffed again. “Onions…chili powder…cumin…juicy ground chuck! It’s chili! Oh my god! I’m missing the chili cook-off!” He then ran into that pink car of his and took off! The Omnitrix beeped as Homer drove through the street at high speeds!
“We’ll never catch up to him now!” wailed Kevin.
“I can, with XLR8,” offered Ben. He selected an alien and then changed shape. He grew black fur on the torso, blue fur on the head, forearms, and lower legs, spikes on the limbs, and a black, furry, Wolverine style mask around his green eyes. “FASTTRACK!” he shouted. He looked himself over. “Fasttrack’s good,” he mused. “Stronger than XLR8. I can carry some people!”
“But a Citrakayah’s braking is subpar compared to a Kineceleran,” remarked Rook.
“No time to argue!” I directed. “Ben, take your team and get after him! Rusty and I will catch up!” Fasttrack nodded and grabbed his friends as he took off.
“How ARE we going to catch up to him?” asked Rusty.
“With a little horsepower!” I joked as I summoned my horse. “Hop on!” I said. We mounted my horse and followed Fasttrack. We weaved through the streets to arrive at the park where a festival dedicated to chili was taking place. Homer parked and we crashed into the car. Homer either didn’t hear or wasn’t paying attention as he headed to a man’s booth. The sign read “Firehouse Ned’s Five Alarm Chili.”
“Five alarm chili, eh?” mused Homer. He got a sample and tasted it. “Hmm, one…two…hey, what’s the big idea?!”
“That can’t be right!” protested Max. “Five Alarm Chili makes you break into a sweat!”
“Let me try,” replied Ben. He got a sample as Homer wandered off. Ben tasted…and started sweating. “Hot! Hot!! HOT!!! WATER!!!” The man running the booth gave him milk and Ben guzzled it. He stopped after a few seconds.
“That guy must have a high spicy threshold,” I mused. I took a peek, wanting to try it, but no chance. It had beef. “Never mind,” I groaned. Homer stopped at his boss’s Yale Style Saltpeter chili. He took a sample and tasted it.
“Hmm, a bland, timid entry,” he critiqued. Mr. Burns didn’t like that. He threatened to fire Homer as Homer walked away laughing. The last one had Chief Wiggum, a caged creature, and mice surrounding the place. Chief Wiggum was pointing his gun at the mice but didn’t pull the trigger. Ben got a closer look at the creature, then howled with laughter.
“Reinrassic III is afraid of mice?!” he snorted.
“BEN BEN TENNYSON!” wailed Reinrassic. “GET THESE THINGS AWAY FROM ME!”
“I got this,” assured Ben as he selected an alien. “BIG CHILL!” he whispered. He then phased through the cage, made Reinrassic intangible, and got him out. He joined us as Homer shooed the mice away.
“Not! One! Word!” warned Reinrassic.
“How about two?” whispered Big Chill. “Scaredy Cat!”
“Ben!” chided Gwen.
“What?” asked Big Chill as he changed back into Ben. “I’ve never seen an Atasian scared of mice!”
“In any case,” sighed Reinrassic, “I’m glad to see you. I wondered if my distress call with my new Plumber’s badge would get through to anyone.”
“New Plumber’s badge?” quizzed Ben. “You joined the Plumbers?”
“One of my people is a bailiff on Coda Coda with Judge Domstol, why not an Atasian Plumber?” asked Reinrassic.
“You realize that this is rather awkward as we’ve never had an active politician serving before,” remarked Max.
“Guys, hold on,” I hissed. “I think Homer’s about to try that chili!” He was given a spoonful and gulped it down.
“More, please,” requested Homer. Chief Wiggum looked surprised and did as requested. Homer ate a bigger helping, then laughed. “Well, Chief, don’t quit your day job! Whatever that is!” He walked away, then started screaming, then started clutching his stomach. “I don’t feel so good!” he mumbled. He then passed out. There was no meat in Chief Wiggum’s chili, so I decided to show how high my spicy threshold was. It’s unusually high for any human, I can tell you right now.
“Gimme!” I demanded to Chief Wiggum. He gave me a sample. I waited for the kick, and I didn’t wait long! This thing was above MY threshold! “GARAM! PAANEE!” (HOT! WATER!) I screamed before passing out.
I stirred from my spice-induced fainting; my vision was a little blurry. I could see other shapes but couldn’t focus. Eventually, my vision cleared. I could see my friends and allies getting up and that we were in some sort of desert. Reinrassic was fanning himself with his green arm. “The moment when I wish to be blended with a Necrofriggian!” he complained.
“Allow me,” offered Ben as he selected an alien. He became a blue iguana like alien with three dorsal fins running down the back and gills on each side of the head. “ARCTIGUANA!” shouted the new alien. “Eh, it’ll do.” He breathed onto the ground and formed ice. We all reveled in the cool air.
“Much better,” sighed Reinrassic. “You have my gratitude.”
“That’s a big change from the last time we were in a desert,” recalled Arctiguana.
“What are you doing here?” asked Kevin.
“It wasn’t by choice!” protested Reinrassic. “I had just passed the final exam and was given my Plumber’s badge when a portal opened up. I was deposited near the nuclear power plant and found myself talking to a ghost. I believe she called herself Heather.” Team 10 gasped.
“Did she dress as Isosceles Right Triangle Vreedle?” asked Rook.
“And talk like her?” asked Arctiguana.
“I am familiar with these Vreedles,” replied Reinrassic, “and, to answer both questions, yes.”
“Great, her ghost is haunting the multiverse!” hissed Arctiguana.
“You know her?” quizzed Reinrassic.
“We met her and felt the attitude was familiar,” replied Gwen,
“Er…well…yes,” muttered Reinrassic as he shifted uncomfortably.
“I don’t understand,” I commented.
“The Atasians when they called themselves the Highbreed,” explained Rusty, “were much like my old colleagues.”
“We were hell-bent on bringing the galaxy down with us,” continued Reinrassic. “We believed so much in racial purity that it led to inbreeding, loss of resistance to disease, and sterility. For a while, I was part of the last generation of Atasians. Until Ben Ben Tennyson helped me and my people.”
“Er…Ben Ben?” I asked.
“He introduced himself as such,” answered Reinrassic.
“Er…Reinrassic III,” interjected Rook, “I do not believe that is true.”
“I don’t understand,” said Reinrassic.
“He was saying Ben pause Ben, like a comma,” replied Rook. Reinrassic scratched his head, then got a tablet out.
“Computer, remind me to review Human grammar when we are in a safer place,” he directed. “I’m unfamiliar with this…comma.” The tablet pinged to show his reminder was set and he put it away.
“So, you were sucked up by a portal,” whispered Arctiguana. “Was it blue?”
“Er, yes,” replied Reinrassic. “What relevance does that have?”
“It’s a dimensional rift,” I explained. “My team uses them to get the Foundation Elements.”
“So, how did you get in the cage?” asked Arctiguana as the Omnitrix beeped and flashed red.
“When I arrived here, I was thrown in that cage by Heather’s ghost and carted around as a sideshow attraction for 3 days!” snarled Reinrassic. “That was when I activated the distress signal, dropped the badge, and saw that man pick it up!” He pointed to Homer, who was waking up. “Now I REALLY understand what an Appoplexian feels like at the circus!”
“We’re trying to stop that nonsense,” assured Max.
“What’s happening to me?!” called Homer’s voice. I then got an idea.
“Homer usually solves his problems through pure luck and accident,” I replied. “Maybe, we can use him to get to Heather.”
“Good idea!” cheered Rusty.
“Everybody cool enough?” I asked. Everybody nodded. “Then, follow Homer!” I said. We stayed out of sight as Homer wandered through the desert.
“Where am I? Shelbyville?” asked Homer to himself. He stopped at a pond with fish flying ABOVE it. When he approached the pond, the fish went into the water and it turned into glass! Homer took out a can of Buzz cola, drank it, then belched out a long belch, causing the glass to shatter and let a snake circle the island in the pond. It released a jump pad for Homer, then slithered off. “Man, this is crazy!” muttered Homer. “I hope I don’t brain my damage!”
“Too late,” whispered Kevin. Gwen elbowed him. “Ow! What?!” said Kevin.
“SHH!” I hissed. Homer used the jump pad and we followed after him. He wandered for a while, muttering to himself.
“Okay, retrace your steps,” he said. “Woke up, fought with Marge, ate Guatemalan insanity peppers, then I…ooooooohhhh!” He then saw a rock move and release a butterfly that dropped a crank near a gap’s edge and flew off. The crank was on his side of the gap. “Ooookkaaaaay,” muttered Homer, “I think I’m gonna be leaving now.” He turned the crank, and the sun started going up and down! “Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset, sunrise…” he went through that loop until the sun fell on his side and shattered into long panels! “Note to self: stop doing anything,” sighed Homer. Somehow, don’t ask me how, he was inspired to build a bridge out of the sun panels. The completed product stood upright, then fell as the gap shortened to the bridge’s length!
“This has GOT to be a drug trip!” I gulped. We went across the bridge and noticed that there was nothing to use except rocks.
“What?” roared Homer. “Rocks?! Nothing but rocks?! NO DONUTS?!! RGHERGRHGH! HOMER MAD!” He then grew to giant size and started smashing the rocks! After his tantrum, he noticed that the rocks he smashed spelled out “HELP”. As he shrank and admired his handiwork, he noticed a rock crawling away. “Hey, buddy!” he shouted. “Get back there with the other rocks!” He went after it to discover it was an animal. “Huh? A tortoise?” The tortoise was spelling something out. “‘Follow the…’” read Homer. “OH! This must be why I’m here! Follow the what?! Follow the what?!! Hurry up!” Someone landed on him at that point. “D’OH!” The person scuttled off, leaving Homer to pick himself up and follow the tortoise. The person came to us, hoping to find some normality. He was a young man in an orange jacket vest and khakis. He looked around.
“Oh, good, he’s the only one from that world!” he sighed.
“You mean Springfield?” asked Reinrassic. The young man got a look, then grinned.
“So, a rebellious Inves?” he mused. He then got out a Sengoku Driver and a Lockseed with an orange on it. “That, I can understand.” He brought the lock arm up and it spoke.
“ORANGE!” it announced. The zipper in the sky then appeared, opened, and let a metal orange hover over him.
“Henshin!” called the man as he put the Lockseed into the belt. He lowered the lock arm.
“Lock on!” announced the belt. Unlike the rock and roll tune of Bravo’s belt, his played a tune like a Japanese War horn remixed. He then lowered the knife and opened the Lockseed. “Soiya! Orange Arms! Hanamichi! (In the spotlight!) On Stage!” The metal orange landed on his head, created a blue undersuit, and then unfolded to make a chest plate, shoulder pads, and back armor to reveal an orange samurai helmet. He then pulled out a short sword with an orange slice blade.
“Koko kara wa ore no stage da!” he declared. My belt translated it as “This is my stage now!” He charged at Reinrassic and swung his sword. Reinrassic dodged and tried to get out of the fight.
“Oh, for the love of…!” I hissed. I drew out my i.d tag. “Henshin!” I then inserted it into my belt and transformed. I activated my bagh naka and blocked the new Rider’s blade.
“What are you doing?!” yelped the Rider.
“That’s not an Inves, whatever that is!” I protested. “That’s the leader of the Atasian race from another universe!” The Rider stopped struggling and backed off.
“You’re…not an enemy?” he asked Reinrassic.
“Clearly,” commented Reinrassic.
“Oops,” gulped the Rider. “That’s embarrassing for a man of my stature. I became a god of a new world.”
“So, we’re good now?” I asked.
“We’re good,” assured the Rider as he closed the Lockseed and took it off.
“Lock off!” announced the belt as the suit disappeared.
“Let’s start over,” sighed the man. “I’m Kazuraba Kōta, Kamen Rider Gaim.” We went through more introductions and told Kōta about what was going on. “Then, we need to follow Homer!” commented Kōta.
“The tracks are still fresh!” called Reinrassic. “This way!” We charged off after him.