In a city plaza by a tower with a giant long fish wrapped around it, various people were doing their own thing. The people had black eye masks, but these were no bandits. They had pointed ears and what looked like two club tentacles with the males tying them back and the females just letting them hang loose. These were the humanoid descendants of squids, the Inklings. Right now, a female Inkling with orange tentacles and headphones was bobbing her head to the beat of a song by a music group, the Squid Squad. As she listened, she then heard a strange noise. …That wasn’t part of the song. It sounded like a wheezing, groaning noise, followed by a thud. She stopped her music and headed off to the alley where a shady individual used to sit at. She blinked when she saw a blue box. “What in the name of the Great Zapfish?” she muttered.
“Hey! Kaori!” called a voice. She looked behind her to see a male Inkling with goggles on his forehead and blue tentacles. “Hey, girl! What’s going on?” asked the male.
“John, did you set this up?” asked the Inkling girl, Kaori. The Inkling boy, John, looked at the blue box.
“…Nope, that ain’t mine,” he said. “It says ‘Police Public Call Box’. Maybe it’s a new police thing?” At that moment, the door was opened from the inside and out stepped…
“AMY?!” yelped Kaori. There she was, Amy Rose from Mobius!
“Kaori! John!” greeted Amy. She hugged the two Inklings, then looked inside the box, the TARDIS. “Doctor, come on out!” she said. At that moment, the Doctor stepped out.
“So the telepathic circuits worked?” she asked.
“They sure did!” confirmed Amy. “Kaori, John, meet the Doctor from the planet of Gallifrey!”
“An alien?!” yelped John.
“Yep! That’s me! I come in peace!” confirmed the Doctor. “And you two are…?”
“I’m Kaori, this is John,” introduced Kaori. “Welcome to Inkopolis!”
“Interesting,” mused the Doctor. “This is 12,000 years after the great flood of 4756.”
“…I…I suppose,” said John.
“She’s a time traveler,” explained Amy.
“I see…anyways!” Kaori changed tactics. “What are you doing here, Amy? The Smash Tournament isn’t for a while.”
“I just wanted to visit friends,” replied Amy. “We just came from far into the future after Earth gets roasted by the sun.”
“Still 5 billion years away,” assured the Doctor. “Let’s just say we’re looking for a place to relax.”
“Ooh! Maybe there’s a turf war going on!” said Kaori.
“Turf war?” asked the Doctor.
“The Inklings can fire their ink through special firearms,” explained Amy. “The idea of turf wars is to cover more surface area than your opponents. It’s a four-on-four game.”
“I got it!” called John after he looked up the newest matches. “There’s gonna be a turf war at Urchin Underpass with both teams from Splatsville in a few minutes!”
“Let’s go see!” replied Kaori.
“Come on, Doctor! It’ll be fun to watch!” urged Amy.
“…All right, might as well get stuck in,” mused the Doctor.
“All right!” cheered John. “This way!” He led everyone to a train station.
The train took them to the viewing gallery at Urchin Underpass. The Doctor and her group took their seats and awaited the teams’ arrival. Four cubes appeared in the air on each side of the stage. “The cleanup must be abysmal under there,” muttered the Doctor.
“Not really,” replied Kaori. “Our ink evaporates pretty quickly after it’s left alone for a while.”
“Really?” The Doctor had to figure that out somehow. Just then, squids and octopuses appeared on the cubes, one team in purple, the other team in green. The squids then turned into Inklings and the octopuses turned into life-forms similar to the Inklings! “So squids aren’t the only ones who gained a humanoid form?” asked the Doctor.
“Nope,” replied John. “A couple of years ago, we had Octolings join us. They’re the better half of the Octarians, our ancient enemies in the Great Turf War. Any time you see an Octoling in a turf war, they’ve abandoned their king, Octavio.”
“Three! Two! One! GO!” shouted the announcer. The two teams launched off their cubes and fired at the ground. An Octoling girl on the Purple Team aimed what looked like a sniper rifle at an Inkling boy with a giant roller paintbrush and fired! The Inkling burst into purple ink and what looked like a sad, cartoony squid flew up into the sky.
“Sh-She just-!” spluttered the Doctor.
“Look over there, Ma’am,” directed John. The cartoony squid then entered one of the cubes and the Inkling boy came back, looking a bit miffed.
“…H…How?!” asked the Doctor.
“I dunno, those things just bring us back,” replied Kaori. “I’m not a scientist.”
“Even then, it’s not perfect,” remarked John. “They can’t prevent ALL deaths, just turf war related ones.” It was then the song changed.
“Oh boy! Now or Never!” said Kaori.
“That’s the Squid Sisters version, isn’t it?” mused John. “Come on, Green! Come on, Green!” A countdown then appeared on the big screen. At the end of the countdown, a whistle blasted. Out stepped two cats! One was clearly an adult, the other was a kitten!
“Are…are those…the judges?” asked the Doctor. She notice that their black and white fur pattern made them look like they were wearing black suspenders and bowties.
“Judd and his clone, Li’l Judd,” explained Kaori. The two cats were walking upright and were dancing just a bit as meters below them filled with the teams’ colors, green for Judd and purple for Li’l Judd. Li’l Judd then pulled out a purple flag as the purple team’s meter had 52.6% turf covered. The way Li’l Judd pulled the flag out seemed to knock Judd flat onto his stomach. The Green Team wailed at their loss with an Inkling girl stamping her feet like a little kid while the Purple team were dancing in victory with an Inkling girl on the team hugging her gatling gun like it was a toy.
“So that’s a typical turf war?” asked the Doctor once they all returned to Inkopolis Plaza.
“Yep! The next stages should be announced soon,” said John. “Now if the Squid Sisters would-!”
“Oh, here we go!” complained Kaori. “You were like that when Off the Hook took over stage announcements!”
“Come on! You can’t beat the classic Squid Sisters!”
“Erm, who ARE the Squid Sisters?” asked the Doctor.
“They’re a pair of pop idols,” explained Kaori. “Cousins from Calamari County. Their names are Callie and Marie. On top of music, they’d host Inkopolis News right here in Inkopolis Plaza to announce the stages for turf wars and other related activities. They were then succeeded by Pearl and Marina, the rapper and DJ group known as Off the Hook, they’d host Inkopolis News over in Inkopolis Square. These days, a trio of idols known as Shiver, Frye, and Big Man, are doing the news from Splatsville. Their group is called Deep Cut and their news broadcast is called Anarchy Splatcast.”
“Interesting,” mused the Doctor.
“…Doctor,” said Amy, “something’s making the fur on the back of-!” She was interrupted as a giant tentacle wrapped around her, pinning her arms to the side and gagging her mouth.
“WHAT IN-?!” yelped the Doctor. She then saw that the tentacle had feet…and a face with inflated lips and eyes with green sclera and purple corneas! “Oi! Let her down!”
“Not a chance!” replied the tentacle. “My king has need of her!” It then dove into a sewer grate!
“That was an Octarian!” said John. “They haven’t attacked Inkopolis in a long time!”
“Come on, John!” said Kaori. “You too, Doctor!”
“Naturally! That’s my friend he kidnapped!” The Doctor and the two Inklings followed the Octarian.
The group ended up in a valley with all sorts of kettles littering the place. “…Octo Valley,” said John. “What a dump. A force of Octavio loyalists still live here, even after his defeat by the New Squidbeak Splatoon.”
“…Splatoon?” asked the Doctor. Her answers were cut short as someone laughed overhead. Everyone looked up to see a spherical machine with fists and a mix table flying down. Amy was still bound by an Octarian in the machine, and piloting the mechanical beast was a giant octopus with a green X scar and a kabuto style helmet.
“GYAH HA HA HA HA!” laughed the octopus. “Tried to party without me, huh?! A bit of a reunion with Smash Brothers and a spectator?!”
“DJ Octavio!” snarled Kaori.
“So that’s the Octarian Leader?” mused the Doctor. “Mr. Octavio, sir-!”
“You will address me as DJ or Your Majesty!” snarled Octavio. “Unless you want your brain remixed!” Amy shouted something, but the tentacle still wrapped around her mouth muffled her.
“Quit squirming! You can’t even bite me!” snapped the Octarian restraining her.
“Sir, that’s MY companion you have as your hostage,” continued the Doctor. “I urge you to release her at once.”
“Fat chance, Ape Girl!”
“Steady on there!” protested the Doctor. That was when Octarians restrained her as well as Kaori and John. Octavio took the time to brag.
“On behalf of the Octarian Nation, I welcome you distinguished guests to Octo Valley! GYAH HA HA HA HA!”