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Kamen Rider Vortex Kamen Rider Vortex Chapters

Chapter 18

We finally reached a dark and evil place in Metropolis, filled to the brim with moans and screams of innocent people. Green energy walls were set up, with the LexCorp symbol. Three Orcs in complete armor and carrying spears stood guard at the gate, one of them looking nervous. “I think I heard something that time!” yelped the nervous Orc.

“You didn’t hear anything!” snarled the second Orc.

“…There, Ma!” called the first Orc to the second. “Don’t you hear it?!”

“Yes,” hissed the Orc mother, testily, “I heard a prisoner’s blood hitting the ground!”

“Sounds like bats!” stammered the nervous Orc.

“Bats aren’t made of liquid!” growled the Orc mother. “Bats don’t drip!”

“Bat water!” cried the nervous Orc.

“There are no bats!” shouted the third Orc.

“You don’t know that, Dad!” protested the nervous Orc. “What if you’re wrong?!”

“Okay, let’s assume your mother and I are wrong,” snarled the Orc father. “Let’s assume there ARE bats. So what? You’re wearing state of the art Orc armor! It’s designed to take heavy damage and deflect whatever these things shoot.” He gestured to the gun he had confiscated from a police officer. “What can a flying five-ounce rodent possibly do to you?”

“…So, you’re saying there ARE bats!” gulped the nervous Orc. His mother face palmed.

“Sure, let’s go with that,” she snarled.

“I’m getting out of here!” cried the nervous Orc.

“No, you’re not!” snarled his mother. “Sauron told us to guard this gate, so we’re guarding this gate!”

“At least, let us get near a light source!” begged the nervous Orc.

“That would involve moving,” growled his father, “and go against our stone-faced ‘no moving’ guard policy!”

“But the light-”

“No.”

“-would help us see the bats!”

“NO.”

“And their fangs!”

“NO!”

“…Hey, you know what else loves cities?” asked the Orc son. “Birds!”

“You little turd!” growled the father, getting as nervous as his son. “Why would you mention birds to me and your mother?!”

“I’m just saying…” the Orc son didn’t complete his sentence as a batarang knocked all three out. We stepped out of our hiding place and opened the gate. What we saw was horrible. People were being tortured, dangled off the towers, and trying to escape the Orcs.

“It looks like they’ve turned this place into a prison!” gulped Wyldstyle.

“Sauron will enslave all of mankind,” hissed Gandalf as he looked at the top of Barad-dûr.

“Not on my watch!” promised Batman. That’s when an eye made of flame and shadow appeared at the top of the fortress.

“I…SEE…YOU!” called Sauron. “Locate help from Foundation Prime!” A portal opened to drop a giant elephant like creature with four tusks instead of two. It had some sort of transport on its back and had red and black war paint on its front. It had two devices, one on its front left leg and one on its rear left leg. It had two four-barreled gun turrets on its left side and had Orcs, Combatmen, goons in two colored suits and roller skates, and Vortexons riding it. That’s when a man with a scarred left face and a suit in two colors on each half came up from the mount.

“Well, well!” chuckled the man in a voice that went from normal to raspy. “If it isn’t our old friend, Batman!”

“Two-Face!” snarled Batman.

“Where did you get the Oliphaunt?” I asked.

“And what have you done to that poor beast?!” demanded Gandalf.

“Given it a facelift!” answered Two-Face. “Would you be interested in one?”

“I doubt it!” replied Gandalf.

“You know,” mused Seeker, “there’s a tough choice here. Either you leave and we proceed to Sauron, or you stay and we kick your rear. Both choices have very good benefits for us. If you leave, it makes our job easier. If you stay, we beat you and gain satisfaction. Such a hard choice!” She was grinning under her helmet, I just know it.

“Then let me help you choose!” called Two-Face. He pulled out a coin. “Heads or Tails?”

“Harvey, no!” pleaded Batman.

“Ooh, Tails!” called Wyldstyle.

“Wyldstyle, no!” protested Seeker, whatever plan she had crumbling apart. Two-Face flicked the coin into the air.

“Don’t worry,” assured Wyldstyle. “I get this right almost half the time.” Two-Face caught the coin and put it on his left hand. He got a look at it.

“Sorry, it’s heads!” answered Two-Face.

“What does heads mean?” asked Wyldstyle, dreading the answer.

“That you lose YOURS!” replied Two-Face.

“It’s a two-headed coin!” snarled Seeker. “One side is ruined while the other side is fine! You would have lost anyway!”

“Even picking heads isn’t a guarantee of winning,” continued Batman.

“Oh, that poor Oliphaunt!” wailed Gandalf. “Something needs to be done about this!” The Oliphaunt turned to have its left side face us. Enemy forces then surrounded us and attacked. We had to fight them off as we got closer to the Oliphaunt. It fired two beams of light to freeze us in our place. Ichigō used his legs to break the ice that surrounded us.

“Agh!” roared Two-Face. “That’s the last time we deal with Mr. Freeze!” The Oliphaunt then used its trunk to toss a car at us.

“I think we can use parts from that truck to help us!” called Wyldstyle.

“Royal! Arch!” yelled Batman. “I’ll need some help getting the parts!”

“Got it!” I replied. We were still in Batman Steel, thank goodness. We fired our grapple guns at the grill of the truck and yanked it off. It revealed a Keystone transmitter!

“The Elemental Keystone should help us get closer to that…elephant looking…thing!” figured Wyldstyle.

“It’s called an Oliphaunt!” I corrected.

“Elemental Keystone, activate!” announced Gandalf. “Element of fire, Tarantulas!”

“Fire?!” spluttered Tarantulas.

“Don’t be a baby!” I snapped. “It won’t hurt!” A red aura surrounded Tarantulas. He was confused, then summoned a fireball. His optics lit up in glee.

“These ‘Keystones’ you lot use,” he cackled, “shall prove quite useful!” He tossed fireballs at the enemy.

“Element of lightning, Royal!” announced Gandalf. While Tarantulas kept the enemy off my back, I fired a lightning stream at the electric coils attached to the Oliphaunt’s bracelets. It stumbled in fright as the bracelets exploded, along with the freeze turrets. “Easy, my friend,” said Gandalf. “No one is going to harm you now.”

“I’m afraid that’s not true,” oozed a venomous, female voice. That’s when something sharp penetrated my back and pumped ooze into me. I felt my mouth forming spit. My vision went dark. The last thing I felt was my suit turning off before I lost total consciousness.

That treacherous Predacon cackled as he extracted the needle from Megumi’s back! She fell, as did the Oliphaunt. As it fell, Two-Face fell into a portal that opened for him. The Oliphaunt lost consciousness as hairy spider legs pulled their owner’s fat, bulbous body up. It had something infectious covering a few of the eyes on the left. The massive spider, easily three times the size of the spiders we fought on the way here, had a dripping maw under its set of four fangs. If I were a betting girl, I’d put money on this spider carrying the name Shelob. What surprised me was that she spoke. “So,” she whispered, as she walked over the Oliphaunt’s body, “you thought to squash us as if we were small house spiders?”

“Never turn your back on a spider!” cackled Tarantulas. “They tend to be venomous!”

“I can’t believe my smaller cousins said that you would feed them for a while,” chuckled Shelob, referring to me.

“Why do you guys pick on my twin sister more than me?!” protested Guard. “I’m not exactly Mister Skinny myself!”

“Not nearly enough of a meal for the two of us,” muttered Shelob. Guard gave off a scoff.

“My dear Shelob,” called Tarantulas, “dinner is served.” He presented Megumi to her.

“Now, her,” chuckled Shelob, “with her in my gullet, you’ll be aimless without her! That is feast enough!” She made a move to get her, but my fencing foil just missed her eyes.

“Get away from her, you filth!” I hissed.

“I seem to have forgotten your name,” asked Shelob.

“Kamen Rider Touché!” I replied as I swapped the Batman i.d tag for my own. “En Garde, thing of evil!” I turned to my friends. “Take care of Tarantulas! Shelob’s mine!” I swung my foil at one of her eyes. She screeched and covered it with one of her pedipalps, using the other to try and keep me at bay. She then ignored the pain and leapt at me. I turned away and climbed up a prison wall, throwing an Orc at her. She knocked it aside as I tumbled down her back. I landed on the ground while Shelob kept to the high ground. She then did something that she never did in Middle-Earth!

“Shelob, TERRORIZE!” she announced Her transformation was like Tarantulas’, even her robot mode. It took the appearance of his season 1 body. She was much more massive than Tarantulas and had three digited fingers instead of two digited claws.

“When did you become a Transformer?!” I asked.

“I sampled the spark inside a protoform,” explained Shelob. “It altered my genetic structure and made me into the Predacon I am now.” She jumped down, drawing a blade that dripped with a liquid I was sure was venom. I kept rolling out of the way while she jabbed the ground. I had lost my grip on my foil. My i.d tag came out of the belt. Oddly, my transformation wasn’t cancelled. It was then I noticed a slot my i.d tag could fit into in the handle of my foil. Shelob jabbed again with her knife while I rolled to my blade and dodged another jab as I rolled to my i.d tag. I inserted it into the handle’s slot, making it charge and surrounding the blade with blue light.

“Final Attack!” announced my foil. Shelob’s robot mode tummy was right over me.

“RIDER TOUCHÉ SLASH!” I shouted. The light swiped across Shelob’s abdomen, making it leak energon. She screeched in pain as she clutched it. I took my i.d tag and put it into my belt. I jumped up and prepared for my Rider kick. “RIDER TOUCHÉ KICK!” I shouted as my foot made impact on her eyes. They cracked, making them drip energon.

“MY EYES!” she shrieked. She doubled over and thrashed around in pain from her wounds. She limped off the battlefield, her broken gaze fixed on me. She soon disappeared from sight. I then turned to see my friends giving Tarantulas a hard time. He had a gaping wound in his chest. I grabbed a crystal shard and was about ready to plunge it into the wound, ready to kill. He grabbed my arms.

“Raw…energon!” I grunted. “Right through…your twisted…anti-spark! There’s a price to pay if you want to avoid it such a death!”

“ANYTHING!” begged Tarantulas, scared for his life.

“The poison you stuck Megumi with!” I snarled. “What is it?!”

“It’s a mix of my cyber-venom and the venom in Shelob’s stinger!” yelped Tarantulas. “I know the dosage of the antidote needed to cure her, but she may suffer from vomiting!”

“Get her on her side!” I barked to Richard as he cancelled his transformation. “Support her head with her arm! I don’t want her choking on her vomit!” Richard silently obeyed. “And you,” I whispered to Tarantulas, “if this is a lie, your spark is extinguished!”

“I’m currently too terrified to lie!” whimpered Tarantulas as he prepared the antidote. He then stuck the needle into her arm. We waited for a few seconds. It felt like an eternity, then I heard retching. Soon, Megumi threw up and coughed. The venom must have gone out as well. She slowly picked herself up with help from Batman and Gandalf. Relief passed over me like a wave. Tarantulas had fled, but I didn’t care.

It took me a while to finally see fully, but I was led to rest on a seat of rock. Soon, I could focus on things clearly. “What happened?” I slurred.

“That schemer, Tarantulas stuck you with a mix of his cyber-venom and the stuff in Shelob’s stinger,” explained Touché as she cancelled her transformation. Emily then sat near me. “Tarantulas had Shelob altered,” she continued.

“Altered?” I asked. “How?”

“She IS a Predacon,” elaborated Richard. “Emily engaged her in battle.”

“And won,” declared Emily. “Swallowing a Transformer’s spark can do that to you, apparently. During the fight, I discovered that our weapons have a slot for our i.d tags to initiate an attack. I used it and my Rider kick to come out the victor.”

“She then threatened to stab Tarantulas’ spark with raw energon unless he gave you the antidote,” continued Richard. “He did and said that a side effect would be throwing up.”

“That explains the burning in my mouth,” I mused. “Emily, we’ll discuss you hiding a fandom you like from us later. On the other hand, I’m in your debt for saving my life.”

“I’m trying to be a doctor,” assured Emily. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“Oh yes, I do,” I insisted. “I’ll think of a reward for when we get back.” I got up slowly, no ill effects were showing. “So, am I cleared for duty?” I asked Emily.

“I’d say you are,” declared Emily.

“Much better,” cheered Wyldstyle. “Now, to get through that doorway!” She pointed to the gates of Barad-dûr. We approached it.

“Let the Dark Lord come forth!” I called. “Let justice be done upon him!” No one replied. The gates then slowly opened to let someone on a black horse come out. The rider dressed in black robes and wore a black helmet that made him look like some sort of evil priest. I was amazed that he could guide his horse because I saw no eye holes. All I saw was an enlarged, diseased mouth with splits around his lips that opened every time he spoke.

“I am the Mouth of Sauron!” the rider proclaimed.

“His emissary, you mean,” I muttered. “I don’t wish to talk to you, but your master!”

“He has business that occupies his time,” answered the Mouth, “and sends me to bid thee welcome to New Mordor.” He appeared to glance around at us. “Is there any in this rout with authority to treat with me?” he asked. “Not thou, little girl. It takes more to make a monarch than a rabble like this.”

“You have no choice but to speak with me!” I snarled. I think my tone spooked his horse a bit as it stepped back.

“I am an emissary and ambassador and may not be assailed!” cried the Mouth.

“Where such laws apply,” I observed. “No one has made a move against you. I am the leader of this group and will be treated as such!”

“Very well,” growled the Mouth. “My master, Sauron the Great, has bidden me to give thee terms and tokens.”

“Your master’s terms first!” I demanded. Not exactly politic, but I wanted the Keystone out of Sauron’s grasp quickly.

“First,” began the Mouth, “all lands once labeled Metropolis and Gotham must surrender to Sauron utterly. They will be his, and his alone, and they shall be called New Mordor. All of their surrounding cities and those protecting those cities must swear oaths never to raise arms in secret or openly. All those wishing to live must pay tribute to New Mordor once a year.”

“These are heavy terms,” I said. “Would you mind if I make counter-terms?”

“Name them,” demanded the Mouth.

“Tell your master this; his armies are to disband!” I hissed. “He must swear an oath to gather his men and leave these lands, never to return! We did not come here to treat with Sauron or his slave, O Faithless and Accursed!” The Mouth laughed.

“And that leads into the tokens I was bidden to show thee!” he chuckled. He dropped a sack in front of us, which opened and spilled. The contents…oh, I wish I didn’t see them. They included, but were not limited to, my mother’s glasses, Robin’s boot, Frodo’s cloak, Ichimonji’s jacket, and MetalBeard’s cannon.

“Ichimonji!” breathed Hongo.

“Quiet!” I directed.

“No!” wailed Emily, about to cry as she held her father’s scarf.

“Quiet!!” I called, my own grief about to come up.

“The hostages on Foundation Prime were dear to thee, I see,” hissed the Mouth in delight. “Know that they suffered greatly at the hands of their host! Who would have thought ones like them could endure so much pain? And they did, Megumi. They did.” That did it. I drew myself up to my full height and strode to the emissary of Mordor. “And what do you intend to do?” he asked. “None may attack an emissary.”

“You lost that right the instant you presented these things to us and taunted us!” I snarled before I leapt up, my blade liberating his head from his shoulders. As his lifeless body fell from the horse that took off in fright, I turned to my friends. “I don’t believe that they’re dead!” I declared. “Not until I have definitive proof!” The gates had shut at that time.

“Let me show you how it’s done,” called Wyldstyle. She used her Master Builder powers to make a massive turret to blow the gates down. “Yeah! That takes care of that thing!” said Wyldstyle.

“I’m calling that thing after the Orcs’ battering ram, Grond!” I cheered. I then faced the now open gates. “CHARGE!” I shouted. We ran into Barad-dûr and ploughed through Sauron’s forces to enter his throne room. Sauron sat with Turretorg and Discornia flanking him and the Keystone set on the headrest of his seat.

“She said you would come,” rumbled Morgoth’s former Lieutenant, “to save the weak.”

“‘She said’?” asked Batman. “Who said? Did Discornia there say?”

“No,” corrected Discornia, “it’s our immediate boss.”

+VORTECH IS NOT YOUR LEADER+ countered my belt.

“Beg pardon?” I asked.

+VORTECH HAS BRAINWASHED TARLAXIANS TO SERVE HIM+ explained my belt.

“Tarlaxians?” I asked. “You mean people like Turretorg and Discornia?”

+CORRECT+ confirmed my belt.

“Innocent people brainwashed into service,” I muttered, “can this get any harder?”

“We are advanced Vortexons!” argued Turretorg. “Not filthy Tarlaxians!”

“I can handle these liars,” purred a voice. A woman stepped out from behind Sauron’s throne.

“Igura!” exclaimed Hongo.

“Surprise!” she laughed.

“How are you alive?!” yelped Hiroki. “A crazed Urga killed you!”

“Vortech saw fit to resurrect me,” explained Igura. “It made Death a little mad, though. Not that I care. I have enough power to defeat her. Hiro fought against War and Death and survived.”

“That HAS to be a joke!” protested Lukas.

“It isn’t,” insisted Igura. “And with the technology Shocker Nova has at its disposal now,” she revealed a belt that looked like an eagle sitting on Earth with its wings at its sides, “we have a perfect Rider.” She crossed her left arm in front of her, with the hand in a clawed fashion, and slowly moved it across the front with her right hand at her hip. “Nova…” she began. Her left hand then went to her hip as her right hand moved across her front with a clawed hand. “HENSHIN!” She then opened the wings of the eagle so it looked like it was about to take flight. The Earth it sat on split open to reveal a small red fan. She jumped up, the wind pressure turning the fan to form a suit! Instead of a grasshopper design, like Hongo’s suit, Igura’s suit was more bird like. It was brown with a gold, triangular face guard, had red eyes, talons on the fingers, wings folded back, and clawed boots. “I am Shocker Nova’s first Rider,” purred Igura. “Kamen Rider Talon! Your finances are in grave danger!”

“Enough!” boomed Turretorg. “Let’s just kill them!”

“They and the west shall fall!” confirmed Sauron

“Silence, fiend!” bellowed Gandalf to Sauron. The room went quiet as Gandalf spoke. “You’ve fallen far, ‘Lord’ Sauron. Serving another, now, are you?”

“I serve no one, Gandalf Stormcrow!” snarled Sauron. “All serve me!”

“Idea for new name when I get tired of Wyldstyle: Stormcrow!” mused Wyldstyle.

“Hold on,” stopped Kamen Rider Talon, Igura, “I thought you said that, and I quote, ‘Lord Vortech wanted to give me this dimension if I retrieved the Keystone.’”

“I lied!” explained Sauron. “Spiders! Nazgûl! Daleks! Orcs! Slay them!”

“Daleks?!” I yelped. The room started shaking. A hologram was canceled to reveal that we were on the hull of a saucer.

“A Dalek Command Saucer!” called Michael.

“Not those trashcans again!” I moaned. The saucer then rose with Sauron’s throne in the center, shrouded in a dark cloud. That’s when the Nine landed. That’s right, the Nine Former Kings of Men, together again.

“Wow,” whispered the Witch-King, “I can’t believe they fell for that!”

“We didn’t have enough time to rehearse!” whispered East. “Good work, Khòrena!”

“Thanks!” whispered Dwimmerlaik.

“Wait, that whole break-up was…?” I began.

“An act!” whispered the Witch-King of Angmar. “And you were stupid enough to fall for it!”

“So was me being your hostage!” called Tarantulas’ voice. He came down in robot mode.

“The wounds Touché gave me, on the other pedipalp!” Shelob in her new robot mode jumped down with other spiders. “Those were real! I won’t waste time playing with you lot!” That’s when hatches in the Dalek ship opened up to let Daleks and Orcs come out.

“You’re hopelessly outmatched!” roared an Orc.

“You will be exterminated!” Guess who said that.

“That’s it, enough of these lies!” I snapped. We grabbed our i.d tags and Hongo struck his Henshin pose.

“Rider…” he began.

“Henshin!” we all announced. We formed our suits and drew our weapons. As usual, Outback started us off.

“Kamen Rider Outback! Better watch your backs, mates!”

“Kamen Rider Claw! My weapons shall turn you into ribbons!”

“Kamen Rider Swing! I’ll be taking your legs!”

“Kamen Rider Hunt! I shall always get my prey!”

“Kamen Rider Clash! A duel with me shall end in your defeat!”

“Kamen Rider Climb! Mountains are a warrior’s best friend!”

“Kamen Rider Gallop! My riding skills are unmatched!”

“Kamen Rider Sengoku! You shall get a taste of Feudal Japan!”

“Kamen Rider Royal! Evil will ultimately bow to me!”

“Kamen Rider Guard! None shall harm my friends, family, and lady!”

“Kamen Rider Touché! En Garde, thing of evil!”

“Kamen Rider Zhànshì! Try and stop my quest!”

“Kamen Rider Arch! My skills outdo Robin Hood!”

“Kamen Rider Kämpfer! Your defeat will be certain at my hands!”

“Kamen Rider Seeker! It’s not gold I seek, but your end!”

“Kamen Rider Battle! For friends and family, I shall be victorious!”

“I am Gandalf the Grey! Prepare to see some fireworks!”

“I’m Wyldstyle! Time to think outside the box!”

“I’m Batman! The Dark Knight rises!”

“I am the start of a group of warriors! I am Kamen Rider!”

“SLAY THEM ALL!” ordered Sauron from inside the shroud.

“I’ll have your head for this!” screeched Talon. We all fought the forces of darkness, eight legged or not. A Dalek fired on us, but we got out of the way and it killed a spider.

“WATCH YOUR AIM!” roared Shelob.

“…Oops,” mumbled the offending Dalek. Shelob then readied her beast mode’s legs as if they were guns, which, we had quickly discovered, they were. She fired upon us, wildly though. She hit more of her allies than us. In fact, none of us were hit. Gandalf had opened a hatch in the ship and extracted parts. Wyldstyle constructed a lamp from the parts and shined it on the shroud surrounding Sauron. He snarled, but the shroud stayed.

“We need more!” called Touché.

“Let me handle him!” demanded Talon. She opened a hatch to allow a Dalek to get out.

“Non-Dalek life forms detected!” it squawked. “Exterminate!” Talon then pulled her hand back in a claw fashion and then thrust it forward into the Dalek. Bits of its now dead occupant dripped off the hand. She flicked it off and got more parts, building the second lamp herself.

“Interesting what a scientist can make,” she mused, “even if it’s rudimentary.” The lamp shined on Sauron’s shroud.

“Vortech won’t like you attacking an ally!” called Sauron.

“You invaded a dimension without his permission,” countered Talon.

“Is he really going to believe that?” asked Sauron. “I can say, with certainty, that you will be blamed for attacking an ally. It is…what’s the phrase…your flimsy word over mine!”

“You’re right,” agreed Talon. “Without evidence, my word is flimsy. Good thing I have evidence.”

“Do share it,” invited Sauron.

“Incoming transmission from Foundation Prime!” reported a Dalek. Wyldstyle had managed to make a third lamp. I told her to wait.

“Go ahead and take it,” suggested Talon.

“Put it through,” commanded Sauron.

“I obey!” confirmed the Dalek. It connected to a terminal to let a hologram of Vortech and Hiro through.

“Greetings, Master,” began Sauron to Vortech.

“Spare me the false praise!” snarled Vortech.

“Who’s that?” asked Batman.

“The enemy,” I replied, keeping it vague on purpose.

“Er…Master?” asked Sauron.

“Tell me, Sauron,” hissed Hiro, “have you heard of a live-stream?”

“…A flow of water that is alive?” guessed Sauron.

“Not even close,” corrected Vortech. “A live stream is a term when humans display their moving pictures and speech at the time they are at an event. They make it public and put it out on billions of computers through a process called ‘streaming’.”

“And it is in real time, live on the scene,” continued Hiro. “Thus, live-stream.”

“I fail to see how…” began Sauron.

“On top of that, have you heard about eyes that work like a video camera?” asked Hiro.

“Like a what?” spluttered Sauron.

“They’re machines that take pictures, capture voices, and string them together to make an exact replica of something that happened,” explained Hiro. “Some cameras are made to look like a person’s eyes and can capture what the person sees if these cameras replace the eyes.”

“I still don’t see…” Sauron stopped when he saw the battle from another person’s point of view in real time. He saw the left side of his head and realized why live-streams and video camera eyes were brought up. He turned to Talon and made the connection. She waved. “YOU DIDN’T…! YOU…!” spluttered Sauron. “HOW LONG?! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN…LIVE-STREAMING?!”

“You catch on to the terminology quick,” praised Talon as her eyes recorded the reaction. “In any case, to answer your question, since Barad-dûr landed here. I’ve recorded everything, even Tarantulas dissecting one of the spiders here and eating its remains later.”

“What?!” snarled Shelob. Tarantulas spluttered. The spiders stared at their metal companion with malice.

“We’ve been deceived!” shrieked a spider.

“I’m gonna mount your head on my mantelpiece, traitor!” promised another.

“KILL HIM!” roared Shelob. They ran at Tarantulas, who tried to escape. Soon he tripped over the edge with all the spiders following him.

“That takes care of them,” muttered Talon. She turned to Sauron. “And now, for you!”

“We’ve been spied on!” roared an Orc, slow on the uptake.

“I’m gonna enjoy having my way with you!” shouted another, Shagrat. “I need offspring!”

“No! I need a cook!” bellowed another. Gorbag came up.

“She’s Sauron’s to do with as he wishes!” he snapped.

“I don’t take orders from stinking Morgul rats!” roared Shagrat.

“Get him!” shouted the second Orc. They started fighting each other.

“NO! IDIOTS!” shrieked the Witch-King as he flung Touché off of him. “GET THEM! THEY’RE THE ENEMY!”

“NOW!” I called. The third lamp shone on the shroud. Sauron screamed in pain as the light from the lamps burned his eyes. The ship then broke out of Barad-dûr.

“Careful!” demanded Gorbag. “I just paid off the insurance!” The ship stopped in front of the fiery eye that was reset atop the fortress. The lamps were destroyed as the shroud returned around Sauron.

“When in doubt,” muttered the Dark Lord, “Keystone power.” He grabbed the Keystone from the throne. “I see you!” he said. “Locate help from D-C-C-0-M-1-C-5!” A portal opened and deposited a searchlight onto the ship. “Blind them!” shouted Sauron to his forces. Batman saw that the symbol on it was one that he was familiar with!

“The Bat-Signal?” he snarled. “Someone stole my Bat-Signal?! Someone like you, Sauron?!! Now that’s going too far!!”

“I’ve got an idea!” called Wyldstyle.

“Keep her covered!” I directed. Her Master build involved the Bat-Signal and a battery to power it.

“I said get the light and blind them!” ordered Sauron. The Orcs and Daleks were trying but failing as Batman shone it onto the shroud. It dissipated, leaving Sauron open. He grabbed his mace and went on the offensive. We managed to beat him back to his throne, which was surprising, considering he has the One Ring. He remade the shroud and unleashed magic chains. “Your struggle is meaningless!” he snarled. A news chopper for the Daily Planet got close as the photographer flashed his camera. Sauron snarled as he lost concentration on the chains, making them disappear. “You’ll PAY for this outrage! Locate help from M-1-D-D-L-3-3-A-R-T-H!” A horse drawn cart with fireworks came out of a new portal, minus the horse. He flung rubble at the news chopper, scaring it off.

“That’s my old cart!” yelped Gandalf. “Where in Middle-Earth did they find that?!” He got an idea. “You know, I believe that my new catchphrase would be appropriate for this instance. Sauron, prepare to see some fireworks!” He used his magic to launch the fireworks at the shroud.

“4th of July fireworks can’t top that!” called Sengoku.

“Speak for yourself!” replied Guard.

“Save our American ego for later!” snapped Touché. “Besides, our fireworks can’t make a dragon fly over the crowd and then make a fantastic boom!” Sauron’s shroud was gone again. He went on the attack again.

“RIDER CHOP!” called Ichigō as he delivered a chop that made Sauron stagger backwards. I then decided to take a page out of Touché’s book and inserted my i.d tag into the hilt of my sword. The blade was surrounded in blue light.

“Final Attack!” announced my blade.

“RIDER ROYAL SLASH!” I called. I swung down, making an arc of light rush towards Sauron, knocking him into his seat. He returned the shroud and chained us again.

“I shall rule all!” he proclaimed. An Orc had flung a Dalek at us, who regained itself in the air and charged towards Sauron, screaming bloody murder. It was destroyed, and the other Daleks saw this as betrayal and turned on the Orcs. The noise made Sauron lose concentration again and so he used the Keystone again. “Locate help from T-H-3-L-3-G-0-M-0-V-1-3!” he ordered. A school bus came in, although, it was modified with jet engines on the back.

“That’s from my dimension!” called Wyldstyle. “A bus driver had graduated from the Master Builder’s Academy and used his bus for his final! I was his teacher!” The bus driver came out.

“Professor Wyldstyle?” he asked. “What’s going on?!” Sauron screeched in anger. “Never mind, I can see for myself.”

“Only a powerful light can get rid of that shroud!” I told the driver.

“Leave it to me!” he assured. He dodged the stuff Sauron threw.

“Whoa!” yelped Wyldstyle. “Okay, wish this guy would stop throwing stuff!”

“How’s this?!” asked the bus driver. He made a light cannon out of the front of the bus. “I just need power to make it bright!”

“Allow me!” called Gandalf as he used his magic to extract wires that ran into the Dalek ship. They were soon connected.

“Thanks!” praised the bus driver. He then pointed the light cannon at the shroud and unleashed a bright light, destroying the Shroud. Sauron got mad and leapt at us. We got out of the way.

“RIDER KICK!” called Ichigō.

“RIDER ROYAL KICK!” I declared.

“RIDER TOUCHÉ KICK!” announced Touché.

“NOVA KICK!” shouted Talon. Sauron was knocked to the ground at the impact of our kicks.

“How…” wheezed the Dark Lord as he picked himself up, “is this possible?!” The eye on top of Barad-dûr vanished.

“This is not your domain!” explained Gandalf. “You have no power here, Sauron the Deceiver!”

“And to make sure you obey us in future,” said Talon. She then brought Sauron to his knees and held her foil at his neck. “Forces of Mordor, you will obey us or Sauron is crushed like a tin can!” Sauron’s forces considered, then kneeled. “I thought so.” A portal opened. “Witch-King, grab the Keystone!”

“No!” called Wyldstyle. She knocked out the Witch-King and grabbed the Keystone, nearly getting sucked into the portal. “Can someone give me a hand?!” asked Wyldstyle.

“Stop her!” ordered Talon. I kicked her aside as the rest of us fought off the Orcs and Nazgûl. Sauron was crushed like a tin can, but still alive, thanks to the Ring. He was sucked in. A giant hand then reached through the portal to grab the Keystone.

“Oh, yeah, not him, though!” yelped Wyldstyle. She lost her grip on the throne but was saved by Gandalf. She landed back on the hull. “Thanks!” she said.

“Must I do everything myself?!” snarled Talon. She charged at Wyldstyle as our ride home came up.

“Is that ours?” asked the bus driver.

“Yes!” answered Batman. “Move!” We made a break for the portal, taking the Keystone with us. It turned out to be an enemy portal as Vortech’s hand came through. We nearly went over the edge of the saucer before the Keystone opened a portal for us below the saucer.

“This way!” called Wyldstyle. We jumped in. Before Talon could grab us, the portal closed.

“NO!” she shouted. She screamed at the heavens as her transformation was canceled. Igura glared at the Orcs and Daleks as they tried to avoid her eyes. “Return to Foundation Prime!” she ordered. The saucer flew into their portal. Igura was defeated.

Categories
Kamen Rider Vortex Kamen Rider Vortex Chapters

Chapter 17

Again! That dream has been infecting my brain again! I was getting a little peeved. Richard’s corpse had already grabbed me when I snarled at it. “What, am I going to join you as the restless dead?” I snarked.

“You’ve failed us and will pay in eternal waking!” accused the corpse.

“I failed no one!” I snarled as the decay spread across my body.

“You claim that,” continued the corpse, “but the power you’ve encountered has rendered you as a child! Our power shall show you what we mean!” That was when the light rapidly dimmed and brightened. It kind of hurt my eyes, but something about it reversed the decay on my person. The intelligent zombies of my friends, on the other hand, screamed in terror as a tall figure, about 8’5” approached them. In the rare moments of good lighting, I saw the figure turn into the Grim Reaper as western civilization imagined it, a skeleton in a black cloak brandishing a scythe. The reaper spoke.

“You have no power here, servant of evil!” it bellowed in a female voice that rolled with thunder and power. The corpses tried to get away but were turning to dust with each step Death took. “You are powerless!” she continued. “Faceless and nameless to all but those that will stop you! Go back to the prison from whence you came!” The bodies had all disappeared by the time Death approached me. Her features started changing, becoming less bony. The bottom of her cloak had gained more layers of skirts and the sleeves of the cloak had separated at the upper arm. The hood stayed on as white trim appeared at the hem, the waist, the chest area holding the dress up, and along both ends of the sleeves, which went over her hands as white flowers appeared around the circumference of the hand’s opening and at the back of her waist. Her face fleshed out, literally and became covered in white make up with black lines giving the appearance of a skull. Her eyes opened to reveal black orbs with a tiny blue dot in the center. “You and your friends need to wake up, child,” Death’s new form whispered. “You have a long day ahead of you.” She tapped my forehead. That was when I woke up. I heard chatter in the other rooms next to me. The pieces fell together. Someone is making us have a shared nightmare! The enemy, maybe? I had decided to talk to everyone about it before we departed. After my dress routine, I found everyone in the cafeteria. Bacon, eggs, and toast was the meal for the morning.

“Rough night?” I asked everyone.

“That dream was too vivid for me to even get sleep,” admitted Batman. “Others woke before and after me, giving the exact details of the dream I had.”

“The one where after your corpses accused me of failing and converting my currently annoyed form?” I asked.

“And where Death herself intervened?” supplied the Brigadier, with his helmet off. That moustache of his seems odd on his aged face. I can’t judge though.

“We must have had a forcibly shared nightmare,” I guessed. “There’s no way anyone can dream the same dream naturally and wake up at different times.”

“Someone’s trying to divide us,” observed Gandalf. “The enemy may have more elaborate means of getting past security.”

“Why would Death want to help us?” asked Wyldstyle.

“To help us find Kamen Rider Apocalypse and Vortex,” figured Tonje. “If the enemy feels it can do away with the whole concept of death, who’s to say she doesn’t have a stake in this?”

“The other horsemen may be after the enemy’s head too,” I supplied. “Besides, the Gateway Guardian said they were just really good at their jobs and are actually very nice ladies.”

“Then we just need to stabilize the portal with the last Keystone,” resolved Haitao. “Speaking of which, who’s got the Scale Keystone?”

“That would be me,” called Hongo. He lifted his left arm. “That just leaves one of the F.N.S to use the last one.”

“Once we finish breakfast,” I declared, “we meet in the Gateway room. Got it?” Everyone nodded their approval. We had all finished and cleared away the dishes. We mounted our steeds and vehicles again. “Ready?” I asked. I got confirmation from everyone.

“All systems fully operational!” reported Rusty.

“Locators online,” called the Brigadier.

“Dimensional location set to D-C-C-0-M-1-C-5,” relayed Elphaba.

“CHARGE!” I shouted. We pounded through the portal and ran through the rift. The Doctor had kept his word on us not encountering any rift loops.


In that universe, the Keystone was being surrounded by a crowd with cameras flashing, police keeping people away, and reporters trying to get a closer look. The last Keystone had a symbol shaped like a white compass in the center. Above it was a crescent shape connected with a blue dot and below it was an upside down four. The reporters were trying to get closer, some sneaking in camera shots, annoying the police. So involved were they in their work, they didn’t see a giant of a man step towards them until he let his footsteps get heavier. He wore spikey armor, a tattered cape, and a helmet with a crown on top where you only had the eyeholes to indicate where he could see. He carried a large staff with a mace affixed to the top. One of the police saw the man. “It’s not Halloween yet, is it?” he asked

“You’ll have to stay back, sir,” his partner told the stranger. “It isn’t safe here.”

“You are right,” confirmed the mystery man in a cold whisper.

“Wow,” praised the police officer, admiring the armor. “‘A’ for effort.” The mystery man then swung his staff at the crowd! The police fired on the man, but he simply raised his hand and stopped the bullets. He then directed the rounds into the crowd! He spoke in a language that sounded evil!

Shre nazg golugranu kilmi-nudu,

Ombi kuzd-durbagu gundum-ishi,

Nugu gurunkilu bard gurutu,

Ash burz-durbagu burzum-ishi,

Daghburz-ishi makha gulshu darulu.

Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul,

Ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul

Daghburz-ishi makha gulshu darulu. The crowd held their ears in pain. “Aw, is the Black Speech too hard on your ears?” mocked the man. “Here’s a translation into the language of men!”

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,

Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,

Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,

One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne.

In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie,

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,

One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness, bind them,

In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

“Who are you?!” cried a bystander.

“I am your new master,” answered the mystery man as he held up his right hand which held a ring in the ring finger. Fiery words in an unknown script raced across the band of gold around his finger. “I am Sauron, and you are now ‘guests’ of New Mordor!” Morgoth’s successor grabbed the Keystone and held it high. “Locate help from M-1-D-D-L-3-3-A-R-T-H!” Sauron’s fortress of Barad-dûr came down from a portal in the sky. It leveled a rotating building shaped like three L’s in a triangle. As the rubble fell from the building Barad-dûr sat on, Sauron brought over his Orc forces along with Turretorg, Discornia, the Vortexons, and the Combatmen of both Shocker branches. We had appeared as the crowds ran from the enemy. A newspaper guy ran by, dropping his load, but they weren’t his main priority. Batman saw the title of the paper, The Daily Planet. It had the headline INVASION with a picture of an Orc on the front.

“This is Metropolis,” observed Batman. Then Metropolis’ blue tights wearing protector zoomed by with that slicked back hairstyle with the curl in front, the red S on the front of the suit, and the red cape and boots. He saw us below and flashed a grin. I will admit, I swooned when he did that as did Xiomara and Emily.

“It’s Superman!” called Wyldstyle. “He’ll help us!” He wanted to, I could tell, but a portal sucked him up, cutting that plan short. “Ooooooohhhh,” groaned Wyldstyle in disappointment.

“That’s right,” grumbled the Dark Knight. “Leave it to Batman. Again!” Gandalf was distracted by the sight of Sauron’s fortress in the distance.

“Barad-dûr!” he breathed.

“What is that thing, Gandalf?” asked Wyldstyle.

“The Dark Tower, where Sauron dwells,” explained the wizard as he dropped to his knees and held his hat in his hands. “If he is here, all is lost! We cannot hope to defeat him without Frodo, without the One Ring.” Batman had grappled to a roof ledge and used binoculars to get a feel of his surroundings. Energy shields with electrified webs blocked the streets of Metropolis.

“That’s why Frodo was taken,” I surmised as I noticed the Dark Tower had no fiery eye on top. “The enemy needed Sauron’s forces and figured that he would command them better if he were in complete form instead of an eye on a tower.”

“I see him!” called Batman. “And the Keystone! Let’s go!” He spoke into a mike to inform someone of the situation.

“Good idea,” affirmed Wyldstyle as she punched her hand in readiness. “I may not know who Sauron is, but he sounds like bad news!”

“We better transform,” I declared. “Enemy forces are swarming the streets, ready to fight at a moment’s notice.” We got our i.d tags out and struck our poses.

“Rider…” began Hongo.

“Henshin!” we shouted. We all transformed and started running through the streets, fighting Orcs as we approached one of those gates. The webs looked organic inside the field.

“Oracle,” requested Batman into a communicator in his suit, “identify the materials that make up the web.” He activated external speakers and mikes.

“Various proteins are in the silk,” reported a female voice, “suggesting that the web is organic like a normal spider.”

“If it’s one of the Great Spiders that plague Middle-Earth,” mused Guard, “I will be very unsurprised.”

“There are giant spiders running around,” replied Oracle. “One of them, the apparent leader, is called Shelob by Sauron’s forces.”

“The Spawn of Ungoliant is here?” yelped Gandalf.

“Why is one of their number purple?” asked Zhànshì. I looked through the gate and saw a purple tarantula.

“Why is he here?!” I moaned, guessing that the purple spider was more than meets the eye.

“Let’s find out,” resolved Guard, making the same guess. “I see something in that dark area that has the outline of a keystone transmitter. Now may be a good time to use the Scale Keystone.” Gandalf lit the area up, confirming the object.

“I see,” I guessed. “Make one of us small and the person can mess with the electronics of the gate.”

“Let me do it,” called Climb as she pointed to a vent. “I AM called Kamen Rider Climb for a reason.”

“Very well,” I agreed. “Ichigō, if you please.”

“Scale Keystone, activate!” ordered Ichigō. “Lessen scale of Climb!” Climb shrunk down and crawled into the vent. Orcs and Lex-bots arrived!

“Well, that’s just great!” snapped Batman. “Gotta get these things out of the way!” Gandalf then remembered he had Glamdring on his person.

“Ah, yes!” he exclaimed as he drew the Foe-hammer out. “This could be just the very thing that’s needed.” We then went on the assault while Climb messed with the circuitry keeping the electric part of the gate up. Soon it fizzled out, leaving only the web. The spiders on the other side soon realized what was going on and rushed to their colleagues’ aid. The purple spider saw this and started scheming. While he schemed, Climb came back out of the vent. She had to dodge a bunch of feet.

“Ichigō, a little help?!” she asked in a tiny voice.

“Normalize scale of Climb!” called Ichigō. She grew back to her normal size and joined in the fight. The enemy was surprised. She then stabbed with her stylized kinjal and stabbed a spider, right in its middle!

“Oi!” I said to the purple spider. “Predacon! Help me!”

“How do you know about the Predacons?!” the spider spluttered. “Cybertron doesn’t exist in this universe!”

“That’s not for you to know,” I exclaimed. “Now get over here!” The spider shrugged his pedipalps and pounced on the other spiders.

“Traitor!” shrieked one.

“Dismantle it!” spat a second. “It’s a machine! I felt it! Save the squishy ones for our feast!”

“The fat one should have good meat and juices!” hissed a third, referring to Touché.

“You’re just jealous that I’m loved and you’re practically starving yourselves to gain attention,” quipped Touché. “Considering those spindles you walk on, I shouldn’t be surprised you’re hungry at all.”

“The meat insults us!” shrieked a fourth.

“Get your minds off of food and fatties like her for once and kill…!” the Orc didn’t get very far as Glamdring liberated the head from the neck.

“None shall insult a lady of good repute,” he hissed. We started chopping down the enemy.

“They sting! Sting!” yelled a spider.

“Sorry, we don’t have Sting on us,” joked Battle.

“Retreat!” droned a Lex-bot. “We’re no match for them now!” The enemy forces fled from the scene. The purple spider stayed behind and cackled.

“Now,” he giggled after he finished. He then tackled me. “You seem to know a thing or two about the Predacons!”

“And Maximals, Autobots, and Decepticons,” I replied. “In my world, Cybertron and its people were nothing more than a toy line with a story behind it. You’re an agent of the Tripredacus Council, Tarantulas, am I right?”

“You seem familiar with me,” cackled the Predacon Mad Scientist, “but I don’t recall meeting any fleshlings before I landed on Earth in its prehistory. Who are you?!”

“That’s not your concern,” I answered. I then tapped my blade under his abdomen.

“I hardly think you’re in a position to make demands,” snickered Tarantulas.

“Oh, I think you underestimate me, Master Tarantulas,” I argued. I grabbed his pedipalps roughly and shook him. He managed to get out of my grip and got into an attack position. I then swapped out my i.d tag. A dual image of Tarantulas’ two heads he had in Beast Wars appeared. I chose the one with the tiny horns.

“Transmetal Tarantulas Steel!” announced my belt.

“My Transmetal mode?!” spluttered the Tripredacus agent. “How did you get it?!”

“I have my ways,” I answered cryptically as the wardrobe dissolved. The new steel had circular shoulder pads with green dots, a set of yellow spider spinnerets on the back with purple spider legs pointing up. My boots were yellow and my arms were purple with yellow claws. My helmet gained Tarantulas’ mandibles and tiny horns. “Tarantulas, terrorize,” I mocked.

“Let me show you how a Transformer does it!” hissed Tarantulas. “Tarantulas, TERRORIZE!” The front of the spider swung down with the fangs and pedipalps becoming two digited claws and swinging out on arms that had the spider legs. Legs and feet swung out from the spinnerets as the head popped out, complete with yellow visor that had machinery on the upper part of the optical array to show emotions. He cackled as he finished his transformation. “Now then, fleshling,” cackled the robot in disguise, “your pale imitation of my Transmetal mode against the real deal!”

“You’re not in your Transmetal mode,” I reminded.

“Upgrades are a valuable thing, aren’t they!” cackled the spider bot. “METALIZE!” A wave of light passed over Tarantulas as he turned into his Transmetal mode, complete with his three digited hands. “You will serve as a perfect meal after I finish playing!” My friends then swapped their i.d tags.

“Transmetal Tarantulas Steel!” announced their belts. The wardrobes dissolved to reveal my friends in their new armor.

“Get him!” I shouted. Tarantulas leaned forward and fired from the dots on his shoulder pads. Guard, I, and, surprisingly, Touché, did the same. Tarantulas jumped out of the way but didn’t look where he was landing. Arch, Kämpfer, Sengoku, and Climb fired from their versions of Tarantulas’ wheel gun and fired on him. Tarantulas came to his knees, letting me grab his neck. He was surprised at my grip. “Now,” I said, “I need all the information on Sauron’s plans.”

“I can’t tell you,” smirked Tarantulas. I then commanded one of the spider legs on my back to bury itself into his shoulder. He squawked in pain.

“The next one will be in your skull,” I threatened. “Then we can download the information into Oracle.”

“I don’t know! I don’t know!” yelped Tarantulas, deciding, wisely, not to call my bluff. “We don’t know what the endgame is! Sauron won’t risk a security breach! The only thing I know is that it involves an object that summons objects from other universes, but he keeps it with him in Barad-dûr!”

“Then we need to get there,” I resolved, making plans.

“Good luck with that!” cackled Tarantulas. “He’s surrounded the fortress on all sides!” I grinned under my helmet.

“Go into your beast/vehicle mode,” I ordered. “You’re going to help us go through those gates while carrying me.”

“Wait, that’s not…!” spluttered Tarantulas.

“I’m going to take a page out of the Predacons’ book and alter the deal,” I hissed. “Pray I don’t alter it any further.” A few of my friends got the reference. Tarantulas spluttered for a while as he considered my offer. He fired his own wheel gun at the webbing still up on the gate, allowing us passage.

“Beast mode!” he snarled. In his Transmetal mode, the front folded up to allow the feet to become the fangs of the spider mode. The rear split away to allow the arms to tuck in behind the main body and the head to sink into the body while the spider legs held him up. He then folded his spider legs up and popped out wheels in a motorcycle configuration. I then climbed aboard. “You’ll pay for this, fleshling!” threatened Tarantulas.

“Shut up and drive!” I ordered. I kept a tiny bit of doubt in my mind as we may be played for fools. We arrived at the next gate. I dismounted and Tarantulas transformed again.

“Oi!” called an Orc. “I thought you were trustworthy! What are you doing?!”

“Helping us,” I replied for Tarantulas as I took out the Tarantulas i.d tag and put my own back in. I then converted my blade into rifle mode and unleashed hell on the enemy. “Ichigō-san, now would be a good time to shrink someone!” Part of a vent was dangling off the rest. Ichigō got an idea

“Scale Keystone, activate!” announced Ichigō. “Lessen scale of Wyldstyle!” Wyldstyle shrunk. Ichigō then picked her up. “I’m going to place you under the dangling bit of vent,” he told her. “When you grow to a larger height, I need you to hold up the vent part.”

“Got it!” confirmed Wyldstyle in a tiny voice. Ichigō then put her under the vent part while we kept the enemy off their backs.

“Enlarge scale of Wyldstyle!” announced Ichigō. Wyldstyle grew to a giant height and held the vent part in place. “Who’s willing to crawl into the vent?” asked Ichigō.

“Let me do it!” I called.

“Lessen scale of Royal!” ordered Ichigō. I shrunk down and headed straight for the opening. I crawled through the place and saw some wires.

“These look important,” I mused. I converted my rifle back into sword mode and started cutting wires. The electricity started sparking everywhere. “On reflection, Megumi Hishikawa,” I yelped to myself, “this probably wasn’t your smartest plan!” I managed to get out and land on a spider’s butt. Ichigō saw the tiny hole I made to make my escape and the electric part of the gate went down.

“Normalize scale of Royal!” he called. I grew and stabbed my spider in the butt. It thrashed around before going still.

“In all honesty,” I chuckled, “how many spiders can say their friend died of a butt stab?” I didn’t get enough time for an answer as an Orc was about chop my head off! As I ducked, another Orc launched a fire arrow at us. I then got an idea. “Hey, you!” I taunted. “Your aim is so bad; a normal man could hit the bullseye before you could! And that’s when an Elf is thrown into the equation!” That got the desired result as a fire arrow set the web part of the gate on fire.

“Oops,” mumbled the Orc.

“YOU IDIOT!” roared the Orc Captain. “SAURON ORDERED US TO KEEP THE GATES UP AND YOU LET A TAUNT INFECT YOUR BRAIN!! WERE YOU DROPPED ON YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU CAME OUT OF YOUR MOTHER?!” I was surprised by that comment but dropped it as a spider nearly jumped me. We managed to gain a little ground, but a rain of Orc arrows from another wall came down on us.

“We need to tear that wall down!” called Arch.

“Allow me to handle this,” assured Gandalf. He used magic to assemble a ramp out of a ruined car. He then mounted Shadowfax to charge over the gate and make the Orcs lean over their positions. The shift in balance made the wall topple, trapping the Orcs under the rubble. “Shall we press on?” asked Gandalf.

“I must learn how to do that!” giggled Tarantulas.

“Magic is the last thing a Predacon loony like you needs!” argued Touché. “You would dissect Gandalf and then eat his remains once your experiment was done. He doesn’t even run on Energon! How much nutritional value is in blood?!”

“My dear sister,” muttered Guard, “I thought you said you hated the Transformers franchise.”

“I lied!” snapped Touché.

“My filters would have adjusted,” cackled Tarantulas. “It’s the act I like more than the nourishment!”

“You’re a sick bug!” I commented. I then heard whispering. “Shut up for a sec, you guys,” I said. I stealthily followed the noise with my team following close behind. What I saw chilled me. There, around a fire, were nine beings cloaked in black. The hoods did not display their faces.

“What are they?” whispered Hunt.

“They were great kings of Men once,” explained Gandalf. “But the nine rings that were granted to them had corrupted them, made them lust for power. Now, after their initial deaths, they serve Sauron as literal shadows of their former selves. They are the Nazgûl, Ringwraiths.”

“The Nine,” I whispered, remembering the shrieks Peter Jackson gave them. “Do they have names?”

“Only titles,” replied Gandalf. “Their Lord is the Witch-King of Angmar. His second in command is the Shadow of the East, and the others are the Dark Marshal, the Betrayer, the Shadow Lord, the Undying, the Dwimmerlaik, the Tainted, and the Knight of Umbar.”

“Let’s listen to what they have to say,” I whispered.

“Shire…” whispered East. “Baggins… The Hobbit then pointed me to Bag End, but Frodo wasn’t there. So, my hunt went to the forest near a farmer. I could smell them near a tree, and one of them got the bright idea,” he held up a bag and changed his tone to an angry one, “TO THROW A BAG OF VEGETABLES TO DISTRACT ME!”

“You think you had it bad?” whispered Dwimmerlaik. The tone was feminine, so it surprised me after Gandalf told us they were men. “Tainted, Betrayer, Undying, and I were in the hotel OPPOSITE of theirs, so our kill count was about…four murdered bed pillows!”

“And that gate keeper,” whispered Tainted, in a slight Scots accent. “Why’d he have to die?”

“Sorry,” whispered Betrayer. “The journey to Bree made me wait for my horse’s ferry. It just made me so angry!”

“…That made you angry?” whispered Tainted. “We’re bound to the fate of a piece of jewelry, we have no horses after that flood near Rivendell, we just got the sack from Sauron, and an inconvenience like not having your horse near you at all times makes you angry!”

“The sack?” asked Gandalf.

“Fired,” I explained. Gandalf didn’t understand. “Er, released from service,” I said.

“Dismissed?” yelped Gandalf, a little louder than I would have liked. “Sauron released his lieutenants from service?”

“SSHH!” I hissed.

“THEY WERE RIGHT THERE!” shrieked East. “THEY WERE STARING ME IN THE FACE!”

“Maybe we would have gotten the Ring,” whispered Betrayer, “if we didn’t look so bloody ominous!”

“I told you,” hissed Knight, “black is a very slimming color.”

“Well, even though we lost our jobs,” whispered Dwimmerlaik, “at least we look pretty!” Sarcasm was heavy in her voice.

“Enough!” snarled Witch-King. “It’s hardly our fault. Lord Vortech thought to give the Ring to Sauron. He needed control over our forces. With the Ring in his possession, Sauron believes himself invincible.”

“And you know of a weakness?” asked East.

“Don’t be absurd, Khamûl,” whispered Witch-King. “Sauron wouldn’t be stupid to reveal his weakness to anyone.” I sighed inwardly, as I had hoped I would gain intel on that.

“Absurd?” hissed East. “Absurd?! That’s it! I’ve had it up to here with you! You constantly push us around and don’t even give us thanks for it!”

“Perhaps we would have been given the reward we so richly deserve,” hissed Witch-King, “if you weren’t distracted by a bag of carrots!”

“Oh yeah?!” hissed East. “I hope you turn to ash, you pathetic excuse of a King!”

“Do you have a problem?!” hissed Witch-King.

“Yes!” responded East. “It’s 7’1” and reeks of Númenor!”

“Well, you’re an overbearing failure that gets his directions from midgets!” hissed Witch-King.

“You’re bossy,” accused East, “you’re rude, and you have no sense of hand to hand combat!”

“I don’t know why Sauron gave you your ring in the first place!” hissed Witch-King.

“That makes two of us!” hissed East. “I QUIT!” He stormed off. We decided to slip past them. I really wish we could mask our smells, because Dwimmerlaik sniffed the air.

“Hang on,” she whispered, “I smell someone! Khamûl, come back! We need you!”

“No, we don’t!” hissed Witch-King. “If he wishes to abandon us, let him do so! Khòrena, what do you smell?”

“Men, women, and the metal spider!” whispered Dwimmerlaik. “Khamûl, get over here!”

“I said, leave him!” hissed Witch-King.

“Don’t be stupid!” hissed Dwimmerlaik. “We need him to beat these guys!”

“Khòrena, put him out of your mind!” barked Witch-King. “That is an order!”

“Go drown yourself,” hissed Marshal. “Khamûl’s been carrying us more than you have. Khòrena, since you were third in command, what are your orders?”

“Never mind the humans,” whispered Dwimmerlaik, “we need Khamûl more than Angmar here!” The remaining Nazgûl split into two sides, Witch-King and the rest. Dwimmerlaik and her company mounted their horses and rode off after East, leaving Witch-King to fight us.

“TRAITORS!” shrieked Witch-King. “DECEIVERS! TWO FACED DOLTS! I’LL HAVE YOUR HEADS!” He was in such a rage that he gave the signature Nazgûl shriek. He then turned to us. “Fine,” he hissed as he grabbed a helmet that gave off an image of a crown of thorns, “I’ll deal with these creatures myself!”

“Scram!” I snapped as he looked at me. “We’ve got a mission and an undead king isn’t gonna stop us.”

“Come not between the Nazgûl and his prey!” warned the former Nazgûl leader. He swung his mace at us, nearly knocking the wind out of us. As we ducked, my face was too near his sword’s point. I spun away, making him focus on me. As he raised his weapons, the Nazgûl lord was struck across the back by Touché’s foil. He dropped his weapons as he cried out in pain. I then plunged my sword into his arm, making him clutch the wound as I pulled my blade out.

“Cease battle!” I shouted.

“Are you out of your mind?!” called Guard.

“Royal is right,” remarked Gandalf as he sheathed Glamdring. “Without Sauron to answer to, the Witch-King of Angmar is nothing more than a ghost. He cannot hope to continue without the power of the Ring or his former servants.”

“We proceed to the last gate,” I affirmed.

“No living man can hinder the Nazgûl lord,” argued Battle. “A good chunk of us are women! We need him gone!”

“No!” I said with finality in my voice. “If any of the ladies kill him now, rest assured, I will see to it that you have your membership in the Feudal Nerd Society revoked!” Harsh, I admit, but I was not about to kill a creature that needed pity more than death. Everyone considered, then sheathed their weapons. “I thought so,” I commented. We pressed on when something dark gripped us. An evil voice spoke, belonging to the Dark Lord of Mordor.

“You cannot hide,” he hissed.

“Not even trying to,” I responded. Sauron laughed and faded. We ploughed our way through and made it to the final gate. “Er, where’s the transmitter?” I gulped. “Spread out!”

“Bit of a problem,” replied Kämpfer, “a security door is closing whenever we approach it and Combatmen from inside are laughing at us.”

“On top of that,” continued Hongo, “Vortexons are near that locker inside.” The aforementioned minions were laughing and miming that they can’t open the locker. I got an idea and swapped the Tarantulas i.d tag for the Batman one.

“Batman Steel!” announced my belt. I got the armor on straight away.

“Taunt them back,” I directed. “I have a plan.” The Vortex Riders did, admittedly, childish things to taunt them, by anyone’s standards. The enemy then went into a taunt war with my friends while I slipped in and fiddled with the controls, i.e. I cut a few wires to make it spark. When it did, a Shocker Combatman tried to make the doors close. When he failed, that’s when I made myself visible. The enemy turned, then smiled nervously as they waved. I gave the Queen wave before I grabbed a Vortexon and spun around, knocking everyone out. Gandalf got in after the enemy fell and jimmied the lock on the locker. A transmitter fell out.

“That’s exactly what we need!” called Hongo.

“I saw an air vent with a dangling part above the building’s awning,” revealed Wyldstyle. “If you could accompany me up, Hongo?”

“Gladly!” cheered Ichigō. They jumped up and landed perfectly up top.

“Now THAT is impressive jumping power!” cackled Tarantulas.

“It should be,” I replied. “On top of cybernetics, he’s been blended with the DNA of a grasshopper.”

“You mean, he’s a genetically altered cyborg?” gagged Tarantulas.

“One of Shocker’s greatest successes and failures,” I mused. Tarantulas made a disgusted noise. “You were gonna dissect him and eat him, weren’t you!” I yelped.

“I WAS,” muttered Tarantulas, “but genetically altered people don’t taste well.”

“I was right! You’re SICK!” I accused.

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” countered Tarantulas.

“Scale Keystone, activate!” announced Ichigō. “Lessen scale of Wyldstyle!” Wyldstyle shrunk and went under the dangling part of the vent. “Enlarge scale of Wyldstyle!” Wyldstyle grew, holding the vent part in its place. “Lessen scale of Ichigō!” Ichigō shrunk and crawled into the vent. Sadly, enemy forces were trying to get up the awning.

“Ugh, not again!” moaned Batman. He turned up. “Hongo! You gotta deactivate the gateway!” No sooner had he asked than the electricity surrounding the web part of the gate shut off. Ichigō then leapt out and landed on Wyldstyle’s shoulder as she let the vent part drop.

“Normalize scale of Wyldstyle and Ichigō!” called Ichigō. Not a bright move as when their mass and size changed, they toppled onto each other. They disentangled themselves soon enough and joined us. Spiders then approached us.

“Tough and thick, your skins must be,” one hissed at us, “but I’ll wager that there’s good juices inside!”

“Aye, they’ll make fine feasting when they’ve hung a bit!” remarked another.

“Only a few are well fed,” observed a third as it looked at Touché. “Don’t hang ‘em too long!”

“What is it, Make Fun of Fat Women Day?” snapped Touché.

“You should be honored!” said a fourth to her. “With one of your girth, you could feed us for months!”

“Feast! Feast! Feast!” chanted the spiders. I was still in Batman Steel, so I activated my stealth functions. Batman did the same. My friends then swapped out their i.d tags for the Batman one.

“Batman Steel!” their belts announced. After the wardrobe disappeared, they activated their stealth functions.

“THE MEAT’S DISAPPEARED!” shouted the first spider.

“Easy fix,” assured the fourth spider. It turned around rapidly and started firing web balls at us. Long story short, we got webbed. “There we are! Right…”

“Where I want you!” called Tarantulas. I got web over my eyes, so I couldn’t see. All I heard were the screams and death rattles of the spiders. Once the screams died down, I heard a hissing noise. As it progressed, the web around me got brittle. I moved my head, making the web crack all around me. I got up and witnessed my friends doing the same and Tarantulas was kicking off the web on the gate. The spiders laid dead with cracked exoskeletons and puncture points.

“Er…what did…?” I asked Tarantulas.

“Crystalocution is a martial art that focuses on attacking the enemy’s fracture points,” explained Tarantulas. “Granted, it’s never been done on an organic, but I needed to test a theory. If one were to use that martial art on an organic with an exoskeleton, the results would be similar, not exact, to using in on a metal enemy. Those three Orcs over there,” he pointed to the messy remains of Orcs that I will NOT describe here because it was gory, “served as the control group. As you can see, my theory was proven correct. The results are similar, but not exactly like attacking a Cybertronian. Now, all that’s left is to find out if the results are the same for ALL organics with natural armor.” The web was cleared away. “Shall we go?” asked Tarantulas.

“Ah, good!” cheered Gandalf, welcoming the change in topic. “Onwards! Onwards!”

“Why do I get the feeling that the worst is still to come?” asked Wyldstyle. The question repeated in all of our heads as we pressed on.

Categories
Kamen Rider Vortex Kamen Rider Vortex Chapters

Chapter 16

Back with the main baddies, Vortech was being shouted at from Hiro. “WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?!” shouted Hiro. “You just rolled up and told the Daleks about the Scale Keystone in the hopes that they would join you, let it get caught by the Vortex Riders, and you’re doing NOTHING to stop them?! Vortech, you have lost your tiny little mind!!”

“What use is the Scale Keystone to those absurd little heroes?” asked Vortech. “All that Keystone can be is a plaything for children.”

“You seem to forget that children are trying to stop us!” protested Hiro. “They have Chen’s staff! A Foundation Element! Remember that you hired me to get such things so you can make universes collide?”

“We can retrieve it at our leisure,” dismissed Vortech. “If anything, you may be doubting Igura’s ability to get the Foundation Element from Dimension D-0-C-T-0-R-W-H-0.”

“It’s about time for the winning team to return,” chuckled Ambassador Hell. The portal opened and revealed Igura and her Shocker Nova team stepping through. “Wait, where’s my team?!” shrieked Ambassador Hell.

“They had encountered a race called the Cybermen,” explained Igura. “They tried to beat them but failed. A few were destroyed, most were converted. My team, on the other hand,” she produced a Dalek gunstick from behind her back, “had no casualties. One Foundation Element, as you requested.” A small, groaning noise escaped from Vortech while Ambassador Hell slapped his face.

“Subarashi!” (Awesome!) cheered Hiro. He turned to Vortech and Ambassador Hell. “You know the deal. Igura must choose what meal you two cook.”

“I’d like some Nikujaga,” ordered Igura. “And the meat must be sweet.”

“We’ll need some time to prepare,” muttered Ambassador Hell.

“We can wait two days, so you can get the meal right,” chuckled Igura. Vortech and Ambassador Hell stormed off.

“Well, that should give him something to chew on,” mused Hiro.

“Yee?” asked a Shocker Nova Combatman.

“Well,” explained Hiro, “Vortech’s been nonchalant about the fact that the self-proclaimed ‘Vortex Riders’ have a new size changing Keystone, calling it a toy.”

“Yee!” snapped the Combatman.

“I agree,” replied Igura. “Those Keystones have provided powers and they’ve proven proficient with those powers. Who’s to say they won’t use size-changing to their advantage?”

“There’s one last Keystone,” reported Hiro, “and our new Ring-bearer should be able to find it soon.”

“Speaking of which,” asked Igura, “you said that you had to bring his fortress there and put the Ring in that eye on top?”

“Exactly,” confirmed Hiro. “If necessary, we’ll have to send his forces along with him.”

“Let’s hope it works,” prayed Igura.


Back on Vorton, the TARDIS had arrived near the gateway. We had all explained who we are and what was going on to the Doctor. He was waving that wand of his, the sonic screwdriver, as he calls it, over Wyldstyle’s scanner as we walked out. Gandalf wanted to stay and explore more, but Batman and I got him out of there. “Okay,” finished the Doctor as he switched of the screwdriver, “I should be able to lock onto this, no problem.” He tossed it back to Wyldstyle and started examining the gateway. “Someone’s using this rift technology like a Gallifreyan Time Scoop. They’re pulling in monsters and madmen from everywhere.”

“We noticed,” muttered Batman.

“That doesn’t speak well of our security,” I mused. “If the enemy side can lock on to the gateway, it may know where we are.” The Doctor fiddled with the electronics inside the gateway and replaced the paneling once he was done.

“But THAT should stop whoever’s behind this tracking you from now on,” assured the Doctor. “No more rift loops. Speaking of which, I should go drop Mr. Kisaragi back in his own time and rescue the rest of you from one.” Batman took out one of the grapple guns he had and tossed it to the Doctor.

“You’ll need this,” he called. The Doctor looked uneasy as he held it.

“I usually take the stairs, but thanks,” muttered the Time Lord. “I’ll go finish up with the Daleks and their pals after I drop Gentarō off in his universe and time.”

“And we’ll deal with the rest,” assured Batman.

“Good,” confirmed the Doctor. He turned to Rusty and the Brigadier. “Are you sure you want to stay?”

“These people need additional technical support!” answered Rusty.

“Rusty’s right,” supported the Brigadier. “Having a witch work machinery doesn’t inspire confidence. It’s all taken care of. UNIT’s been notified.”

“Then see you lot later,” called the Doctor to us. “Or earlier.”

“Before you drop my past off in the Cyber-base with the rest of these guys,” stopped Gentarō, “give me this.” He handed the Fourze driver to the Doctor. “I don’t know where it came from as I destroyed it a while ago. Heinlein fans call it the bootstrap paradox, time travel theorists call it a causal loop, the Greeks call it begging the question, I call it a headache.”

“You googled the bootstrap paradox?” asked the Doctor as the space themed Kamen Rider stepped in.

“No, we all had a lecture by Michael,” explained Gentarō as the TARDIS started dematerializing. “And don’t listen to Kengo when he says I touch everything! That’s not true!” The TARDIS was gone, and so was its madman pilot.

“What an odd fellow,” mused Gandalf. He took out the Keystone to let it fly towards the gateway.

“The Scale Keystone!” cheered the voice “I’ll handle that.”

+GATEWAY 80% STABILIZED+ announced my belt

“Before you go, Mr. Gateway Guardian, we want answers!” I shouted to the sky. “Why is the enemy trying to get random objects? Why are our parents being held hostage? Why did the belts choose us to fight? And why are people from our fiction helping us?”

“And can the enemy be beaten?” asked Joshua.

“Only if Kamen Riders Apocalypse and Vortex can be found,” answered the voice. “Kamen Rider Apocalypse is supposed to be trained by all four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.”

“Sounds like a team of Sauron’s forces,” gulped Gandalf.

“Nah, they’re nice Anthropomorphic personifications,” assured the voice. “They’re just really good at their jobs, especially Death. She’s actually very sociable.”

“Really?” I asked. I hadn’t expected the Grim Reaper to be friendly towards mortals. Then again, we all have an appointment with Death, so being friendly would ease their souls after Death makes a visit.

“And with Kamen Rider Vortex around,” continues the voice, “more dimensions can be visited.

“Who’s Vortex?” I asked.

“A Kamen Rider that can freely pass between dimensions,” explained the voice. “No need for a gateway. That Rider can even summon others to help from across the multiverse. It’s said that those with large amounts of imagination from a dimension where nothing super-powered exists can find this Rider. 16 fragments of a map were made and forged into belts.”

“Our Vortex Drivers,” guessed Joshua.

“You guys chose us because we were the most imaginative in our dimension?” asked Tanisha.

+CORRECT+ confirmed my belt. +ANIMATIONS, LIVE-ACTION MOVIES, FANFICS, FANARTS, AND COSPLAYS SHOW THAT YOU ARE THE ONES DETERMINED TO KEEP YOUR MYTHOLOGY ALIVE+

“But Batman’s real in his universe,” protested Xiomara.

+BUT NOT IN YOURS+ countered my belt.

“So, nerds are prized in the multiverse,” I mused. “We actually care about the fandoms we love. Whenever a change comes to a fandom and it changes the fandom for the worse, we try like Hell to protect the fandom’s integrity.”

“Like Sonic the Hedgehog and its changes,” supplied Emily. “That franchise became flawed during its run and fans try their best to get Sega to improve their mascot so the characters don’t fade in the background.”

“That’s why we’re chosen,” I guessed, “because, deep down, we’re fierce when it comes to our fandoms that we will fight to protect them, and the enemy just wants to slap us down, even going so far as to kidnap those that support us! They want us to just put our heads down like nerds were forced to do in the 80’s!”

“Well,” swore Hiroki, “all they’ve invited was defeat! If we’re the ones who’ve been asked to travel the multiverse to defeat our enemy, then we will!”

“That leaves those objects the enemy’s getting,” rasped Batman.

“They’re called Foundation Elements,” replied the voice. “They’re objects made to keep the multiverse stable.” It showed a set of images.

“Wait a minute, that’s kryptonite!” called Batman.

“That’s MetalBeard’s treasure!” yelped Wyldstyle.

“That’s Ichimonji’s Typhoon!” observed Hongo.

“That’s Mom’s necklace!” called Hiroki.

“Those are Dorothy’s ruby slippers!” shouted Emily.

“That’s the nuclear rod from Springfield Nuclear Power Plant!” called Richard.

“That’s Chen’s staff!” observed Michael.

“That’s a Dalek gun!” I yelped.

“More exist across the multiverse to keep each universe stable,” continued the voice.

“I don’t see the Ring,” realized Gandalf.

+SAURON’S ONE RING IS NOT A FOUNDATION ELEMENT+ answered my belt.

“We have to find the keystones and Kamen Rider Vortex,” I said. “If we’re the ones to stop the enemy, we’ll stop the enemy! Who’s with me!?!” We all gave a battle cry to show our unity, even the Brigadier and Rusty. Elphaba came up.

“What’s all that shouting?!” she snapped. “I’m trying to take a nap!”

“Come on, Elphaba,” I teased. “Haven’t you given a battle cry to give yourself energy to deal with a threat?”

“I never had many threats to my power,” responded Elphaba, “so, no, I haven’t.”

“We’re just shouting our cause to eliminate a long-term threat,” answered Emmanuel.

“There is an immediate threat that needs dealing with!” screeched Rusty. “The threat of gratitude! A reward will be dispensed on all of you so it can be neutralized!” Rusty opened his casing and, dear lord, Michael was not exaggerating on the gooey pilot inside the Dalek casing! Rusty’s innards were a tentacled blob of greenish, brown flesh with a single yellow eye, no visible mouth, and a smaller visible brain than the Emperor Dalek. It was practically strapped in with wires sticking into it. A longer tentacle hidden from the skirt section pulled a drawstring bag out and handed it to me. It was dripping with goo. I accepted it gingerly and opened it. More studs were inside.

“What’s the total number of studs we have now?” I asked my belt.

+STUDS IN BAG TOTAL 220,000+ replied my belt. +CURRENT CUMULATIVE STUD TOTAL IS NOW 600,000+

“Thank you,” I said to Rusty.

“You’re welcome!” responded Rusty as he closed his casing.

“Michael, why don’t you and Rusty tell me about the Daleks, in case we encounter them again,” suggested Batman.

“Very well!” replied Rusty. “The Daleks originally came from the planet, Skaro. We were once a race of humanoids called the Kaleds.”

“They were in a thousand-year nuclear war with the Thals,” continued Michael, “another race of humanoids that look a lot like Emmanuel, just without the dress and makeup.”

“They were tall and blonde?” asked Emmanuel.

“Yes,” confirmed Michael. “The resulting mutations from the fallout were accelerated by a disfigured Kaled scientist named Davros.”

“What he bred,” continued Rusty, “he placed into a travel machine designed for combat! He had removed all emotions and morals, except hatred!”

“And you’re one of the exceptions?” I asked Rusty.

“Only when the Doctor repaired me and linked my mind to his!” elaborated Rusty.

“Well now,” I mused, “interesting history of the Daleks.” My stomach growled.

“What was that?” yelped Rusty. “Was it a Dalek threat?!”

“No, just the threat of hunger,” I assured. “Who wants dinner?” Everyone, even Rusty and the Brigadier, said yes. “Wait, how can you guys eat?” I said to Rusty and the Brigadier.

“I can convert the food into an acceptable nutrient for Daleks!” replied Rusty. “Human food tastes better than the standard nutrients Daleks are given!”

“And Cybermen can eat when a recharge is insufficient,” continued the Brigadier, “but it requires the removal of the helmet and that can disrupt communication with other Cybermen. Now, I’m not going to be broken up about it, since I’m free.”

“Let’s get some grub then,” I suggested. We departed for the cafeteria.


War gasped for breath as she held her wound closed. “Never, in all of my existence,” she snarled as Death got bandages, “has a mortal ever beaten me!”

“Don’t talk,” whispered Death harshly as she started treating the wound. “The Daleks don’t exactly care that you’re immortal.”

“But the whole idea of an ant like him beating me!” roared War, angry as all Hell. “It’s infuriating! I didn’t spend my entire existence in battle just to be defeated by some idiot scientist who reverse engineered a transformation belt! A technology we entrusted to the Vortonians! I knew we should have kept it out of their reach! They should never have had that power! But no! No one listens to War, since she’s only a brute! Never mind the fact that she’s the most skilled in tactics and…!”

“Shut up!” hissed Death. “In case you forgot, I was in that fight too! The Vortonian military needed a final weapon to use so they could help the Tarlaxians.”

“Half of which are enslaved again!” snarled War. “Look at Turretorg! He was a very outspoken advocate for independence!”

“We’re not interrupting, are we?” wheezed a voice. War and Death turned to see a woman in full green plague doctor gear and a thin, yellow haired woman in baggy clothes constantly eating, but never gaining enough body mass to look healthy. They were Pestilence and Famine. All four horsemen had gathered. Pestilence knelt down to War’s wound. “Dear Lord, Death,” she wheezed. “You could have cleaned her wound! She may be immortal, but War isn’t immune to all diseases!”

“Why did you summon us?” mumbled Famine as she ate the candy bars she pulled out of her pockets.

“We need Kamen Rider Apocalypse NOW,” whispered Death.

“And you believe that to be Lacey?” grunted War. “She’s not from a null dimension like the Vortex Riders are! Who’s to say the Apocalypse Driver would accept her?”

“Doubtless, it could reject her if she’s untrained,” replied Famine as she swallowed, “but if we get her to the academy, it might help her in the long run.”

“I must agree with Famine,” wheezed Pestilence as she applied disinfectant to the wound. War tired her best not to wince from the disinfectant’s sting and Pestilence’s response.

“Don’t tell me you agree with Death!” she grunted.

“Only through the combined power of the Keystones and the two Savior Riders, Apocalypse and Vortex, will we finish Vortech!” argued Pestilence. “Lacey has proven herself to be open and understanding of us. She may be the best candidate for the mantle of Kamen Rider Apocalypse.”

“Besides,” mumbled Famine as she started scarfing down chicken nuggets, “she needs a better life. Her dad isn’t exactly supportive. You saw how he tried to destroy her death metal collection!” War considered for a moment as Pestilence wrapped her wound in gauze.

“Very well,” she finally grunted. “I’ll get her to our shared dimension.”

“No, you’re injured and need to rest,” whispered Death with a tone of finality. “Pestilence, you take War to the Healer. Famine, pick up Lacey. Take her to the academy, you have the necessary connections to get her registered.”

“What about the Vortex Riders?” asked War. “A shared dream haunts them.”

“Leave that to me,” answered Death. She mounted her horse. “Giddyap!” she said. The horse went through a portal she had made. Pestilence had War slung over her own horse as she rode while War’s horse ran after his rider. Famine mounted her gaunt looking horse and opened a portal to the Simpsons’ home world.

Categories
Kamen Rider Vortex Kamen Rider Vortex Chapters

Chapter 15

Dear Lord, can this day…no, shouldn’t even think that. The multiverse has creative ways of making it worse. First, we end up in a rift loop, then we get a headache from a lecture of the bootstrap paradox, then we end up in a base of more elegant looking Borg, and now we’re catching our breath in a graveyard, trying to pursue a giant head with an emotionless brain inside. Oh yeah, and one of the elegant Borg, the Cybermen, as they call themselves, helped us out and we met another Kamen Rider with a space shuttle motif. The Cyberman that helped us came to me. “Are you all right, young lady?” he asked in that same synthesized man’s voice that changed tone and showed emotion.

“Not really,” I answered. “I’m still reeling from that chase your people gave us. Why were they trying to kill you, anyways?”

“One,” argued the Cyberman, “they’re not my people, humanity is. Two, they don’t like individuals. You probably heard them say we’ll be like them.”

“I’d rather not,” muttered Gentarō.

“Do you have a name?” I asked.

“You might not know it, but I used to a part of the United Nations Intelligence Task force, UNIT for short,” explained the Cyberman. “Nowadays, in this time, the year 2487, I lead the Unified Nebular Intelligence Task force.”

“Ah, UNIT becomes a space army!” cheered Michael.

“It was around 2342,” continued the Cyberman. “They even let me keep my old title of Brigadier and my old codename of Greyhound One, head of my personal unit in UNIT, the Growling Greyhounds.”

“Wait,” interrupted Michael, “were you knighted for your service in the early 2000’s?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact,” confirmed the Cyberman. “Why? Do you know me?”

“In my world, you and your adventures with the Doctor were a work of fiction,” replied Michael.

“Then tell me, what was my wish and was it fulfilled?” asked the Cyberman.

“Your wish was to see your old friend and scientific advisor, the Doctor from Gallifrey, salute you,” explained Michael. “It was fulfilled as you took off to the skies into parts unknown. Your cybernization happened after you had died in bed. A female form of a rival of yours, the Master, now calling himself Missy and preferring female pronouns, had taken the dead of earth and made them into Cybermen. You had kept your emotions as well as a soldier called Danny Pink, who commanded the Cybermen there to self-destruct. You then saved the Doctor the trouble of shooting Missy by doing so yourself, although she survived.”

“What?!” snapped the Cyberman. “Even after she got rid of that absurd beard, she still slips away!”

“You can get her later,” assured Michael. He then turned to the rest of us. “Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present Sir Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart.”

“I AM a Brigadier again,” explained Lethbridge-Stewart as he put on decorations signifying his rank, even a metal hat. “You can call me as such.” We then explained our backstories to the Brigadier. It took a while to take in for the man, but he got the idea of the situation.

“Very well, Brigadier,” answered Michael. “Shall we pursue the Cyber-King?”

“Yeah, pursue a head through a creepy graveyard,” I moaned.

“Let’s hope the dead do not rise on this surface,” muttered Gandalf. We got up and started opening a rusty gate. A Keystone transmitter was beyond the gate. The red chroma disc was also located, but we need to release it from its prison and find the others. As we approached an area that looked like a seed was coming out, a Cyberman stomped towards us. The Brigadier dispatched it easily. “My thanks,” reciprocated Gandalf. “Let’s see, Element of earth, Brigadier!” A green aura surrounded the Brigadier.

“What on Earth?” he yelped.

“Hold your hands together and point them at the seedling,” instructed Gandalf. The Brigadier stared at the wizard for a second, then he did as instructed. The seedling moved and sprouted two platforms and a mound of earth popped up with a boulder on top. “A curious arrangement,” mused Gandalf. He used his magic to jostle the boulder out of the mound, rather explosively. It sailed towards the crypt the Cyber-King was trying to hide on and chased it away to another base. Meanwhile, Gandalf had managed to calm the mini-volcano down and jumped on the next platform to the entrance of the crypt. The Brigadier followed. “Element of water, Gandalf!” called the wizard. As the blue aura surrounded him, Gandalf doused the flames to reveal a Chroma Lock design. The left L shape was blue, the circle was yellow, and the right L shape was red. Wyldstyle had managed to jimmy the lock surrounding the red chroma disc. A statue near us fell, revealing more Cybermen. Gandalf used his magic to throw rocks at their heads and knock them inoperable. He then started a search for the rest of the chroma discs.

“Gandalf, old chap,” called the Brigadier, “I believe what you’re looking for is under that grave.” Gandalf saw the grave Lethbridge-Stewart was talking about.

“I believe this will take more than an Elvish incantation to solve,” muttered the wizard.

“Let us help,” I answered. Lukas, Emily, and I got out our i.d tags.

“Henshin!” we announced. As we became our Rider selves, we swapped out our i.d tags for Gandalf’s.

“Gandalf Steel!” called our belts. Once the wardrobe dissolved, Lethbridge-Stewart rubbed his eyes.

“This is something the Doctor would appreciate,” mused the Brigadier. We then helped Gandalf with lifting the grave out and revealing the yellow chroma disc.

“Gandalf,” I called, “I believe that the statue the Cybermen knocked over could help us, if we can get it upright.”

“I do believe you’re right!” replied Gandalf. He, Kämpfer, Touché, and I got to work and set the statue upright. It was too high for us to reach, but Hongo and Wyldstyle got up easily. There was a dark area.

“Hongo, did you bring a flashlight?” asked Wyldstyle.

“I thought you did,” replied Hongo.

“Looks like we need to bring Gandalf up here,” muttered Wyldstyle.

“How?” asked Hongo.

“Let’s just say I can see a way,” answered Wyldstyle. She then used the debris where they were to build a small UFO. It hovered over Gandalf, brought him up using a tractor beam, set him down where Hongo and Wyldstyle were, and then whizzed off into a wall, exploding into a dozen or so pieces. Gandalf then lit up the dark area and brought out the blue chroma disc. “That’s all of them!” cheered Wyldstyle. “Chroma Keystone, activate! Chroma lock, reveal! Chroma! Blue! Gandalf!” Gandalf jumped into the blue paint and landed on the left L shape. “Chroma! Red! Royal!” I headed to the red paint, jumped in it, and landed in the shape next to Gandalf. “Chroma! Yellow! Brigadier!” The Brigadier jumped in as we did and landed in the circle. As the Brigadier admired his paint job, the lock design in the crypt made its surroundings shimmer and fade. The tombstones, the gate, the crypt, the creepy gate guarding the base on the other side of the graveyard, it all faded to reveal a hologram projector. “What?!” said Wyldstyle. “This whole thing was just a hologram?! I can’t help but notice that those statues are still here though.”

“Statues?” gulped Michael, a little worried.

“What, is there a…wait, Joshua, where are you?” I called. Our strong, silent Australian wasn’t with us. We started calling out his name. A horrible thought struck me. If we left him in the Cybermen’s base, oh please tell me that’s not true!

“Someone call?” shuddered a voice. The Australian accent made me breathe easy. We turned to see Joshua looking a little pale. I told everyone else to stay put as Emily and I ran up to him.

“Josh, are you alright?” Emily asked.

“Not particularly,” he answered. “Meg, Em, what are we doing?”

“I’m…not sure I understand,” I replied, flinching at being called ‘Meg’.

“What are we doing running around the dimensions?” asked Joshua. “We’re a pack of nerds! We’re activists of basic human rights, be they for gay rights, race rights, gender rights, or educational rights! We dress up for fun! We’re not warriors! We should be critiquing plot lines of our favorite shows, not be a part of one big plot that spans other universes! We don’t even know why we’re fighting Vortech! We don’t know how to beat him, much less stand against him! All we know is that he’s gathering artefacts to make universes collide! We don’t even know if there’s one of those artefacts in our universe and if our parents have it in their possession! I…” I noticed that his right hand was shaking. “This hand has been shaking ever since our belts came to our dimension. I’m scared and I hate myself for feeling it! Part of me is screaming that my routine has been irreparably disturbed, and routine is BIG for autistic people like myself! The other part is sure that even neurotypicals would feel the same! All parts are asking why we’re the ones who are saving the multiverse!” He then shook his head. “Sorry, I just feel…”

“No worries,” Emily assured him. “We’ve all had a long day.”

“If this is taking its toll on you,” I said softly, “you could return to our universe. We could have the gateway return you home and no one will think ill of you for it.”

“I can’t do that,” argued Joshua. “My dad needs help. When people need my help, I can’t just rest easy. I’ve only lasted so long because I’ve put my energy into trying to get some answers about this mess.”

“When we get back to Vorton,” I replied, “I promise we’ll get some answers. We may not get all the answers, but we can get some.”

“You promise?” asked Joshua.

“I promise on my honor as the reigning monarch of the Feudal Nerd Society,” I swore. Joshua smiled. When I make an oath like that, it means that I will see that oath through to the end. Josh looked at his hand. It stopped shaking.

“Thank you,” said Joshua, “for everything.” He got up. “Let’s go rejoin the others.” He walked to rejoin the rest with Emily and I high-fiving each other. Score one for the princess and medic. When we reunited, we headed to the other Cyber-base and opened the doors. Well, the Brigadier did. We couldn’t get the terminal that operates the door to work, so we needed a Cyberman’s key code

“So, Brigadier, what should we expect?” asked Michael.

“Nothing, if we’re lucky,” replied the Brigadier. “The Cybermen cleared this area out about five years ago. The team that was sent to retrieve any and all machinery that was labeled sensitive disappeared though. The three investigative teams did the same when they tried to retrieve the retrieval team, so the Cyber-King we’re after declared it unsafe and warned the rest of New Mondas to stay away.”

“Creepy,” gulped Sheela. Then our vision went dim with the lights.

“Hey, who turned out the lights?” called Batman.

“Everyone still alive?” asked Michael. We all responded with a confused tone. “Okay, no psycho Vashta Nerada, then.”

“Va-what?” I muttered.

“Microscopic organisms that live in the darkness,” explained Michael. “They’ve been given the name Piranhas of the Air. They tend to eat meat and will strip their prey down to the bone, literally.”

“And, there might be some here?” gulped Joshua.

“None of the psycho kind,” assured Michael. “They would have to be starving or driven mad before they attack humans.”

“And given that we’re all alive,” guessed Gandalf, “I’d say we’re safe from these beasts.”

“Exactly,” confirmed Michael.

“Even so,” rasped Batman, “given that danger could be in the next steps we take, anything could jump out of the shadows. Be on your guard.” We tensed up and got into defensive stances. What I saw were statues.

“More statues?” I quizzed. These statues looked like human-sized angels covering their faces as if they were crying. “They look kind of lonely.” I said, taking pity.

“If they’re alive,” gulped Michael, “then their title ‘The Lonely Assassins’ is apropos.”

“Michael, you’ve said nothing but doom and gloom since we got here!” I snapped. “What’s dangerous about a statue?”

Doctor Who has an innate ability of turning something as harmless as a window dummy into a killer!” protested Michael.

“Don’t remind me,” muttered the Brigadier.

“Evil shop dummies?” quizzed Gentarō. “That’s a new one.”

“Guys,” called Wyldstyle, “I think I see some batteries to help with the lights!” There were three on the floor and we could see the slots above us that they would fit in. Gandalf put one in. The lights flickered. When they came back on, the statues were looking at us!

“Michael,” I gulped, “what are these things?”

“They’re called the Weeping Angels!” explained Michael. “They’re a race of quantum locked humanoids that only move when no one, not even members of their own species, is looking at them! The only defense is not to blink! Once they touch you, you are sent into the past and will live out the rest of your life there, losing all motivation to get back! The Angels feed off the residual time energy the displacement causes!”

“Nobody blink!” I commanded. “Surround Gandalf as he puts the batteries in!” As Gandalf put the remaining batteries in, the lights flickered to reveal the expressions on the Angels change to a vicious roaring face with clawed fingers and sharp teeth. Gandalf had put the last battery in and the lights gained that much more power but were on a continual flicker loop!

“The statues are chasing us!” yelped Wyldstyle. “And the flickering lights aren’t helping!”

“Chaps,” called the Brigadier, “the doors here are magna-sealed! I can’t get them open!”

“That terminal looks like it powers the door,” observed Batman. “We need to charge it up with that battery near it.” It was a square like battery with wheels on the bottom.

“Problem, we need to charge it!” wailed Michael.

“Let me do that,” called Wyldstyle. “Bring it over here!”

“Surround the battery!” I ordered. “Keep an eye on the Angels!” We moved with the battery so the ones pushing it won’t get caught. The flickering lights made me nervous. While we were moving, Wyldstyle had built a charger and plugged it into the battery once it was finished. It didn’t take long to charge, but an Angel was about to grab my face when we started moving again! We got the battery to the terminal near the door. The Brigadier typed in a code and got it open.

“Quickly!” he shouted. “This way!” We got into the next room and shut the door.

“What did I tell you?” snapped Michael.

“If the Cybermen that were sent here to get sensitive equipment were taken into the past,” guessed the Brigadier, “then they may face a foe greater than the Doctor.”

“We need to go deeper into the base,” I muttered. “Wyldstyle, can you find the Keystone?”

“It’s past the doors in the next room,” reported Wyldstyle, “but we need to get past the security cameras. That panel over there should turn them off.”

“Allow me,” said Gentarō. He then took out the Fourze Driver and put it on. He swapped the Launcher switch with Switch number 21.

“Stealth!” called the Driver. He then flipped the tab switches and got into his Henshin pose. “Three! Two! One!”

“Henshin!” announced Gentarō. He pulled the lever and transformed into Fourze. “Uchū KITĀĀĀĀĀ!”

“Must you do that?” asked Hongo.

“If you don’t shout about things that are awesome,” quizzed Fourze, “how can you enjoy them?” He flipped the stealth switch on.

“Stealth on!” announced the Driver. A device appeared on Fourze’s right leg that was shaped like an F-117 Nighthawk. He stomped it and turned invisible. It took five seconds for him to run into the room and pull a lever on the terminal that deactivated the cameras and opened the door. Hongo shook his head.

“I swear, I’ll never understand the Heisei Riders,” he muttered.

“We got the door open,” I mused, “I see no reason to complain.” That soon changed when the door started shutting and opening on its own accord. Gandalf forced them open with his magic. “Thank you,” I said as I curtsied. We went into a hallway which had flickering lights and more Angels! Forget walking, we ran! As we approached an open door, we saw the Cyber-King scuttle off into another hallway. We shut the door. Sadly, there were Angels there as well. The lights were stable, thank goodness. We tried to open the door the Cyber-King had shut, but it was locked. I then saw a battery up on the ceiling. Fans were keeping it up there. I got an idea. “Find a Keystone transmitter!” I directed. “Batman can use it to warp someone up there!”

“Good idea!” responded Batman. We got to searching. As he searched, Richard had a bit of trouble.

“I can’t find it anywhere!” he snapped as he leaned on a control panel. It had a long lever that was pushed up when he leaned on it. It snapped. I just gave him a look. The lights flickered, letting the Angels move!

“Found it!” called Michael.

“Shift Keystone, activate!” announced Batman. “Magenta, near the battery on the ceiling! Yellow, in the control room on the ceiling! Cyan, near the transmitter!” The portals were placed. “Shift! Yellow! Hongo!” Hongo was to turn the fans when the battery approached them. “Shift! Fourze! Magenta!” Fourze pushed the battery towards the dock it needed to go into with Hongo helping him. You would think that the Angels would use this time to attack us, but they were looking up once the lights flickered again, looking confused. The next flicker, they started forming a ladder. Fourze inserted the battery into the slot, letting the door open. “Shift! Hongo! Fourze! Cyan!” They returned to normal ground. We escaped that place quickly. We entered a crossroads but found them blocked by Weeping Angels.

“Oh boy,” I gulped.

“What a way to go,” wailed Xiomara.

“Maybe not,” observed Batman. He pointed to a control panel and then pointed to the floor.

“You’re not suggesting dropping us through the floor, are you?!” asked Michael. Batman threw a batarang at the panel, opening the floor beneath us. The Angels were now frozen where they were, forever.

While we were falling, the Cyber-King was trying to get some machines to work. We ended up landing on top of the Cyber-King, taking it offline for a bit. We got up and investigated the machines. They looked like they traveled on some sort of bump studded skirt with a mid-section holding an egg whisk on its left and a toilet plunger on its right. It had a pair of lights on its dome as well as a spherical thing on a stick with discs behind the sphere. “Whoa,” quizzed Wyldstyle. “What are they?” She slammed her fist on one of the machines. It echoed.

“I don’t know,” answered Batman.

“At least they aren’t those statues,” mused Gandalf.

“No, they’re worse than the Weeping Angels,” moaned Michael.

“How bad are they?” I asked.

“Take any sort of hate group,” hissed Michael, “like the Klan, or the Nazis, or any such group, liquefy its flesh, remove all feelings except hatred for other life forms, and slap it into a tank!”

“That’s how bad they are?” I gulped.

“No, they’re a thousand times worse,” elaborated Michael.

“Guys,” called Fourze as he transformed back, “I think I found something!” he pointed to a terminal with a screen. I pressed a button to play some security footage. The image was of a bunch of soldiers, some in white conical hats while the others had the Swastika, burst into the room. The leaders stepped forward to one of the things.

“I am General Thomas of the Neo Klan,” introduced the person in the white conical hat. “This is General Richard of the Nova Nazis. We have reactivated you so you can help us clean our people.” The creature he was addressing just stared as its sphere illuminated blue, confirming that the sphere was some sort of camera for the thing inside. “We need your power,” elaborated Thomas. “You need our resources. Are you listening? Do you understand? Now that we have freed you, you must help us.”

“We do not take orders from inferior life forms!” screamed the creature in a grating, harsh, metallic tone that crescendoed. The lights on the dome flashed with each syllable. “You are impure! Exterminate!” The whisk turned out to be a laser gun as it fired blue bolts of energy at the soldiers, who turned into green x-rays before slumping over, dead.

“Good Grief!” swore the Brigadier as he watched the creatures slaughter the combined hate groups. “Even I wouldn’t wish such a fate on these chaps!”

“Given that the Ku Klux Klan has been the bane of Mom’s Southern roots,” hissed Emily, “I can’t find any sympathy.”

“Neither can I for the Nazis,” growled Lukas.

“What does that laser do?” I asked.

“Massive internal displacement,” muttered Michael.

“Meaning?” I quizzed.

“The insides are scrambled,” explained Michael. “Some would say it’s like being hit by lightning, while others say it’s like a burn, given that some victims were charred.”

“I set you free!” begged Thomas from the recording, the last survivor. “We planned this!”

“Your attempt at control is noted,” screeched the creature, “but humans cannot control the Daleks! You are nothing more than organic refuse! Exterminate!” He was gunned down and fell over the edge. The Dalek, as the creature called its species, then shut down.

“Reactivating! Reactivating!” rumbled a Dalek from behind us. It twitched as it examined us. “Hostiles located! Do not move!”

“Who, us?” asked Wyldstyle. “We’re not hostile, we’re friends of the Doctor!”

“WYLDSTYLE, THAT’S THE LAST THING YOU SHOULD SAY TO THEM!” yelled Michael. All Daleks then turned towards us.

“The Doctor must be exterminated!” screamed one Dalek.

“Well, more like acquaintances, really,” stammered Wyldstyle, digging us deeper. “I didn’t mean ‘friend’.”

“Wyldstyle, button it!” I demanded.

“Daleks conquer and destroy!” squawked another Dalek.

“You will be exterminated!” screeched a third.

“Obey the Daleks!”

“Locate the Doctor!”

“Exterminate! Annihilate! Destroy!”

“We are the supreme beings!”

“Enemies of the Daleks will be exterminated!”

“Do not move!”

“Silence,” boomed a deep Dalek voice. We all turned to see a giant Dalek dome with a tube of liquid holding a blob of flesh (Yuck!) with tentacles, a visible brain, and a single yellow eye, and giant panels extending from the tube hover in with red and black Daleks. Apparently, these things can fly. One of the brownish gray Daleks on the ground zoomed in, distracted in a rant.

“That is why I want to be a red Dalek…” its peers were looking at it, giving it the stink eye. “…Sorry,” it mumbled. Michael smirked. I guess Daleks don’t usually mumble.

“Am I addressing the Dalek Emperor?” asked the Brigadier to the giant Dalek as he put his arms behind his back.

“Correct, but you are not displaying usual Cyberman behavior,” observed the Dalek Emperor.

“I am Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart of the Unified Nebular Intelligence Task force!” snapped the Brigadier. “I demand to know why you are engaged with the Cybermen as they rebuild their home world! Be warned, for failure to comply will result in Alexandra Jones, card carrying Prime Minister of Nova Britain…”

“Yes, we know who Alexandra Jones is,” interrupted the Dalek Emperor. “Her ancestor, Harriet Jones, displayed such an annoyance when we took Earth into the Medusa Cascade. We will tell you nothing of our project. You, on the other hand, will tell us everything you know about the Doctor’s plans. You have been identified as one of the Doctor’s oldest ‘friends’, Sir Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart. We shall interrogate you first!”

“To be honest, we don’t really know anything,” replied Gandalf.

“Then you will be exterminated!” boomed the Emperor.

“Guys, look! A Keystone!” called Michael. The Emperor had a Keystone that had one small green circle on top of a large white one and both circles connected by two lines with broken sections in between.

“What can that thing do?” asked Wyldstyle.

“Initiating scaling stratagem!” called the Emperor.

“I think we’re about to find out,” guessed Batman.

“Enlarge scale of Dalek Lieutenant!” announced the Emperor. A Dalek became a giant at least half the size of the Emperor. “Protect the Keystone! Exterminate hostile life forms!”

“I obey!” obliged the giant Dalek.

“No!” countered a Dalek as it fired on the giant. The laser bounced off harmlessly, but the Emperor didn’t like that.

“Explain! Explain!! EXPLAIN!!!” it shouted at the traitor.

“All Daleks must be exterminated!” replied the renegade Dalek.

“Rusty, old chap!” cheered the Brigadier.

“Rusty? The one that the Doctor converted to the side of the humans?” called Michael, grinning.

“Correct!” confirmed Rusty. “Initiating anti-weapons field!” A dome of light surrounded us. “You may transform without the risk of extermination!”

“Very kind of you, Rusty-san,” I replied. “Arigatou.” (short thank you)

“Dōitashimashite,” (you’re welcome) responded Rusty. I grinned as the Vortex riders took out our i.d tags, Gentarō took out the Fourze Driver, and Hongo struck his pose. Gentarō then flipped the tab switches and struck his pose.

“Three! Two! One!” counted the Fourze Driver.

“Rider…” began Hongo.

“Henshin!” we shouted. We transformed into our Rider forms.

“Uchū KITĀĀĀĀĀ!” said Fourze.

“Explain this behavior!” said the Emperor.

“Kamen Rider Outback! Better watch your backs, mates!”

“Kamen Rider Claw! My weapons shall turn you into ribbons!”

“Kamen Rider Swing! I’ll be taking your legs!”

“Kamen Rider Hunt! I shall always get my prey!”

“Kamen Rider Clash! A duel with me shall end in your defeat!”

“Kamen Rider Climb! Mountains are a warrior’s best friend!”

“Kamen Rider Gallop! My riding skills are unmatched!”

“Kamen Rider Sengoku! You shall get a taste of Feudal Japan!”

“Kamen Rider Royal! Evil will ultimately bow to me!”

“Kamen Rider Guard! None shall harm my friends, family, and lady!”

“Kamen Rider Touché! En Garde, thing of evil!”

“Kamen Rider Zhànshì! Try and stop my quest!”

“Kamen Rider Arch! My skills outdo Robin Hood!”

“Kamen Rider Kämpfer! Your defeat will be certain at my hands!”

“Kamen Rider Seeker! It’s not gold I seek, but your end!”

“Kamen Rider Battle! For friends and family, I shall be victorious!”

“Kamen Rider Fourze! Taiman harasete morau ze!”

“I am Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart! For the sake of humanity, I shall bring the whole of UNIT down on your heads!”

“I am Rusty the Dalek, head of UNIT’s Extraterrestrial Branches! All evil will fall at my manipulator arm!”

“I am Gandalf the Grey! Prepare to see some fireworks!”

“I’m Wyldstyle! Time to think outside the box!”

“I’m Batman! The Dark Knight rises!”

“I am the start of a group of warriors! I am Kamen Rider!”

“EXTERMINATE THEM!” bellowed the Emperor. The giant Dalek hovered over us with its gunstick trained on us.

“Maximum extermination!” it announced. We dodged its laser blasts. The Emperor decided to talk at that time.

“You will tell us the location of the Doctor, or you will be destroyed!” it ordered. “You are no match for the power of the Daleks! Cease your attempts to stop us!”

“You know, The Power of the Daleks was what we call the adventure the second Doctor had when you lot tried to fool a human colony so you could destroy it,” called Battle. The laser blasts the giant Dalek had fired had exposed some machinery.

“You will bear witness to our true power as the supreme beings!” boomed the Emperor.

“Daleks may conquer and destroy,” intoned Rusty, “but I conquer and destroy the Daleks!”

“Guys, keep me covered!” called Wyldstyle. She’s got a Master Build up her sleeves, I just know it! Fourze then swapped out the Drill switch with switch number 19.

“Gatling!” announced the driver. Fourze then flipped the switch on. “Gatling on!” A Gatling gun appeared on his left leg as he fired 10 rounds per second at the Dalek. The rounds bounced off.

“Eh?” yelped Fourze. “It usually pierces concrete!”

“Dalekanium is 10 times stronger than steel!” explained Battle.

“‘Dalekanium’?” I said. I’d laugh if the situation wasn’t tense. Wyldstyle, meanwhile, had constructed a giant remote controller with two joysticks.

“Gandalf, lift it up and move the joysticks!” directed Wyldstyle.

“At once!” called Gandalf. The Vortex riders converted their weapons to ranged mode and gave the wizard covering fire. Wyldstyle had programmed it to mess with the giant Dalek!

“My controls are being overridden! Weapons malfunction?! HELP MEEEEEE!” it shouted. Gandalf sent the giant Dalek into the Emperor. It started changing size rapidly.

“Alert! Alert! I am under attack!” it yelled. As the Emperor changed size, we just shrank! “Keystone malfunctioning! HELP MEEEEEE!” squawked the Emperor.

“System malfunction!” screamed a Dalek. “Critical damage detected!”

“Fourze, the eyestalk is the weak point!” called Battle. “Do you have something to damage it?”

“Not at this size, but the pen switch may cover it,” replied Fourze.

“Pen switch?” I asked.

“When it’s on,” replied Sengoku, “Fourze can use the pen module that attaches to his right leg to draw things that solidify into pure carbon.”

“Then use it to blind a Dalek!” called Battle.

“Got it!” confirmed Fourze. He swapped out the stealth switch for switch 25.

“Pen!” announced the Driver. Switch on! “Pen on!” Fourze jumped up and used a booster pack on his back to reach the eyestalk. He quickly coated the blue light until it was completely black.

“My vision is impaired! I cannot see!” squawked the Dalek. It started freaking out and fired on other Daleks. Rusty shot the Dalek’s undercarriage and blew it up. Soon, everything went back to its normal size.

“Hostility will not be tolerated!” boomed the Emperor. “Enlarge scale of Dalek Supreme!” A black Dalek grew. “Exterminate!” ordered the Emperor.

“I obey!” confirmed the giant Dalek Supreme. It hovered over us and spoke as it fired. “The Keystone will demonstrate the might of the Dalek race!”

Might of the Daleks,” muttered Outback as he dodged a shot. “The BBC should use that!”

“No!” argued Battle as he plunged his blade into a normal sized Dalek. “Any episode title with the structure of Thingy of the Wossname is a bad episode!”

“Even Resurrection of the Daleks?” countered Outback.

“Can we talk about this later?!” I interrupted. The shot I dodged had revealed an electric coil.

“You are prisoners of the Daleks now!” boasted the Emperor. “You will obey or you will be exterminated!”

“Would you actually try!” I taunted. Wyldstyle built a radio with the electric coil attached.

“Daleks do not take orders from lower life forms!” boomed the Emperor. “The Doctor’s associates will be exterminated!”

“Guys, where’s the Keystone transmitter?” asked Touché.

“Oh dear,” gulped Gandalf. “I can’t give anyone lighting powers without it!”

“If it’s electricity you want,” replied Fourze, “I have a switch for that!” He took out both magnet switches and inserted switch 10 where the N magnet was and switch 11 where the S magnet was.

“Elec!” announced the Driver for switch 10. “Scissors!” it said for switch 11. He switched Elec on. “Elec on!” Yellow lightning surrounded Fourze while metal circles with black rubber appeared. The circles attached to Fourze’s chest while his whole body gained a yellow and black lightning motif. His eyes turned blue and a stun rod with three plug sockets on the cross guard and a cord with a plug at the bottom of the handle appeared in his hand.

“Fourze Elec states!” called Sengoku. “And the form’s main weapon, the Elec Module Billy the Rod!”

“Billy the Rod?!” I snickered, holding back laughter. Fourze then plugged the plug into the top socket. He then took out the Elec switch and put it into the rod’s base.

“Limit break!” called the weapon.

“Rider Ten Billion Volt Shoot!” announced Fourze. He slashed at the air which caused an arc of electricity to rush towards the coil. The radio soon got enough charge to play some strange music. It sounded alien, like it was played in the 60’s for an old show for a while. The giant Dalek Supreme then started losing control.

“What is this noise?!” it screamed. “Make it stop! MAKE IT STOOOOPPPPPPPPP!”

“The first Doctor’s theme!” cheered Battle. “The radio is playing the first iteration of the Doctor Who theme that played on November 22nd, 1963!”

“The day Kennedy was assassinated!” remembered Guard.

“Looks like these hateful things don’t like good music!” quipped Battle. The Giant Dalek Supreme crashed into the Emperor.

“Under attack! Under attack!!” it squawked as it started shifting size again. This time, we grew! We stomped around, crushing Daleks without any fancy moves.

“Whoever uses this thing is gonna enjoy this!” I cheered. I then inspected the bottom of my boots. “Ew! I think there’s something in these things!” I whined as I wiped bits of something gooey off the boots.

“That would be the organic occupants of these things,” explained Battle as he kicked a few away.

“Disgusting!” I groaned.

“No!” shouted the Emperor. “This cannot be!! THIS CANNOT BE!! EXPLAIIN! EXPLLAAAAAIIIIN!!!”

“Classic villain trope!” I laughed. “Next thing you know, you’ll be saying that you’re immortal!”

“Its predecessor already did!” called Battle. Then the Emperor regained control over the Keystone.

“Bring forth more Daleks!” it ordered. A new Dalek came up. It had just a dome and a giant cannon on the front.

“A Special Weapons Dalek?!” yelped Battle.

“Enlarge scale of Special Weapons Dalek!” ordered the Emperor. It swiveled its dome around to address the rest of the Daleks. “My brethren, you must exterminate these intruders!” The giant Special Weapons Dalek fired on us. Its shots were even more devastating than the normal Daleks’ guns.

“We have to get the Keystone away from the Emperor!” called Rusty.

“The Keystone belongs to us!” boomed the Emperor. Burning debris fell as the Special Weapons Dalek fired. Another shot revealed the Keystone transmitter.

“Gandalf, I think I should be using water since Fourze is in a form that doesn’t really work well with water,” I called.

“Elemental Keystone, activate! Element of water, Royal!” announced Gandalf. As I doused the debris, the Emperor spoke.

“Secure the unlimited rice pudding!” Wait, what? The Emperor realized what it had said. “Alert! Alert! Vocabulary bank malfunction!”

“You need to update your anti-virus software!” observed Rusty. His plunger arm was in a terminal that connected to the Emperor. Wyldstyle got an idea. She constructed a bomb launcher and made a special connection for Rusty.

“Rusty, want to fire a catapult at a Dalek?” she asked.

“With pleasure!” cheered Rusty as he saw the payload. He connected and calculated the arc the bomb needed to go to hit the Special Weapons Dalek. “Initiating launch!” The catapult launched the bomb at the Special Weapons Dalek. The bomb attached and made warning noises.

“Emergency! Emergency!” yelped the Special Weapons Dalek. It exploded.

“What is the meaning of this?!” demanded the Emperor. “Failure is not in Dalek nature!!”

“Oh, yes, it is!” said the Brigadier. He and Wyldstyle used the remains of the Special Weapons Dalek, bar the gooey bits, to construct a cannon. The Brigadier fired it at the Emperor.

“What is happening to me!” it screamed as it started rapidly shifting size again. Wyldstyle took advantage to construct something that looked like an old telephone.

“Gandalf, raise the top part!” called Wyldstyle. “Rusty, connect with the phone and dial this number! We need his help!”

“At once!” confirmed Gandalf.

“I obey!” obliged Rusty. Gandalf lifted the giant handset while Rusty plugged in and dialed the number Wyldstyle had given him. The dial flashed the numbers Rusty put in. A Dalek voice came out of the receiver as it transmitted.

“Calling…The Doctor!” it droned. “Ring Ring! …Ring Ring! Is anybody there?” The ringtone sounded again. Another Special Weapons Dalek appeared. This one brought its gun to bear on us. Ichigō, Fourze, and Outback leapt into the air. Fourze swapped out the Elec and Gatling switches out and put in the Rocket and Drill switches.

“Rocket! Drill!” announced the driver. He switched them on. “Rocket on! Drill on!” A drill appeared on the left foot and a rocket attached to his right arm. He then used his left hand to pull the lever on the side. “Rocket! Drill! Limit break!”

“RIDER KICK!” shouted Ichigō.

“RIDER OUTBACK KICK!” announced Outback.

“RIDER ROCKET DRILL KICK!” called Fourze. They tore into the Special Weapons Dalek and made it explode. We were getting tired.

“I think our time is at an end,” gulped Gandalf as more Daleks surrounded us.

“Yeah, I don’t think the Doctor’s making house calls today!” observed Wyldstyle.

“Come on…!” urged Batman. The Emperor was about to use the Keystone it had when we heard a familiar Vworp! The TARDIS spun around and reflected the shrink ray the Keystone fired. It shrunk the enemy Daleks and the Emperor! Batman caught the new Keystone as it fell from the Emperor. The TARDIS then landed on one of the tiny Daleks. The doors opened and the Doctor came out with a big fat grin! The now tiny Emperor Dalek floated towards the Doctor.

“Doctor!” it screeched in a tiny voice. The Doctor showed no sympathy to the Emperor.

“Look,” he taunted, “before you start on me,” he bopped the Emperor with that wand of his, “if you WILL fire a shrink ray at a dimensionally transcendental time-machine, these accidents are going to happen.” Gandalf took the time to whack the Emperor with his staff.

“Exterminate him!” ordered the Emperor to his tiny forces. The tiny Daleks opened fire. All they did was give the Doctor tiny zaps.

“Hey, sorry about the shrinking,” said the Doctor, “but YOU called ME, remember?”

“About time, Doctor,” hissed Batman.

“Cutting it a bit close, weren’t you?” quizzed Fourze as all riders cancelled their transformations.

“What?!” yelped the Doctor. “Wait, do I know you?”

“Yes and no,” answered Wyldstyle. “I’m Wyldstyle. We’re the ones who called you.”

“Not the Daleks?” asked the Doctor. “Ah, that explains why they’re so tetchy. All right, get in.” The Brigadier and Rusty were about to go first. “Hold on, not you!” snapped the Doctor.

“Oh, come now, Doctor,” chuckled the Brigadier, “surely you wouldn’t deny an old friend a trip?”

“Old friend?” asked the Doctor. “Wait, you’re not speaking in a monotone. …Sir Alistair?”

“Back to Brigadier now, old chap,” answered the Brigadier. “You’re still in the UNIT files as Chief Scientific Advisor. If you need proof, I remember your salute on Earth in the 21st century.”

“You were responsible for giving me a new perspective on the Daleks,” replied Rusty. “I believe I said that I am not a good Dalek, YOU are a good Dalek.”

“Rusty?” quizzed the Doctor.

“You called the Doctor a Dalek?” the Brigadier asked Rusty.

“I let him look into my mind, but apparently, my hatred of the Daleks made him start to hate Daleks,” muttered the Doctor, sadly. “All I did was give him hatred. He joined the humans, but at a cost.”

“That IS a rather Dalek way of thinking, focusing on hatred towards a species, Doctor,” observed the Brigadier.

“We can point the finger later,” I interjected. “Let’s just get out of here. We’ve got a tale to tell.” We all boarded the TARDIS.

“You will pay for this, Doctor!” promised the Emperor. The Doctor couldn’t resist.

“Don’t worry,” he taunted. “You’ll be fine! Just eat plenty of vegetables! Excellent for growth!”

“Speaking of excellent,” observed the Brigadier, “Cyber-King head in-bound!” The Doctor closed the doors as the Cyber-King tackled the tiny Dalek Emperor. They engaged in a fight that consisted of bumps and sideswipes.

“Right,” called the Doctor as he shut the doors and worked the console, “one of you, start talking! And you can start with why that one’s got pointy ears!” He was talking about Batman as the TARDIS dematerialized and went through the rift.

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Kamen Rider Vortex Kamen Rider Vortex Chapters

Chapter 14

I had the same dream again, my friends’ corpses accusing me of failing them, Richard’s hand making contact and decaying me, and the dream ending when the decay reaches my jaw. I woke up again. This is absurd, I thought talking to Gandalf would help! I did my usual dress routine and headed to the gateway. I saw Gandalf and Wyldstyle talking to each other over tea. Gandalf was talking about the time a friend of his, Radagast the Brown, outran a pack of Orcs on dog-like creatures called Wargs while Radagast was on a sled pulled by rabbits. “I had never known Rhosgobel Rabbits to outrun Gundabad Wargs!” laughed Gandalf. “In hindsight, it was rather funny!”

“This was the guy that lived in a crooked house?” asked Wyldstyle in a tone asking for confirmation.

“Well, he’s odd, I grant you,” admitted Gandalf. “He’s led a solitary life.”

“I hate to interrupt,” I called, surprising the two, “but sleep won’t come to me. I had a horrible dream.”

“Was it a dream where our corpses were accusing you of failing us and Richard grabbing you and infecting you with decay, but the dream ends with the decay reaching your eyes before you wake up?” asked Wyldstyle. I arched an eyebrow.

“Yes, except change that to the decay reaching my jaw,” I replied.

“I woke up when the decay reached your neck,” answered Gandalf. Okay, this can NOT be coincidence.

“Was that true when your corpses were accusing me of failing you?” I asked.

“Not remotely,” assured Gandalf.

“You haven’t failed us by any stretch,” confirmed Wyldstyle.

“Well, there’s that bit of ammo if I dream that dream again,” I mused. “May I join you? I don’t think there’ll be sleep for me tonight.”

“Go ahead,” invited Wyldstyle. I sat down and poured some tea as we sat on the gateway pad.

“So,” I began, “I know of Batman and Hongo-san’s backstories when they couldn’t sleep…”

“Why do you say Hongo-san?” asked Gandalf.

“San is an honorific like the English Mr. or Mrs.,” I explained. Gandalf understood. “In any case, why don’t you tell us your tale? What made you use magic?”

“Actually,” began Gandalf, “I’ve had magic my entire life. I am a Maia spirit, the plural of which being Maiar, sent to Middle-Earth, by the Valar of Valinor, to keep watch over the free peoples that live there and aid them where possible against Sauron, a fallen Maia. We were an order of five called the Istari. Although Sauron’s power was great, the Valar had already seen the tragic consequences of direct interference at the end of the First Age when they brought their total strength against Morgoth, known also by his first name as Melkor and as Sauron’s former master, resulting in the destruction of a country touching the sea called Beleriand and reshaping the world. The Valar also knew of the corruption and lust for power from even the Maiar’s use of magic as evidenced by Sauron. So, the Valar sent us, the Istari, to help Middle-Earth, but were forbidden from using our full power or attacking Sauron directly. Thus, we take the form of old men so we could speak to both elves and Men as equals to win their trust. Our leader was known as Curumo and was sent by a Vala known as Aulë. He was a wise and respected figure in Middle-Earth and was declared the leader of the White Council, a group of Elves and Wizards to combat the threat of Sauron. I was called Olórin in my younger days and was sent by my teachers Manwë, Varda, Nienna, and Irmo. I had originally considered myself too weak and frightened to be of any use in the fight against Sauron, but my teacher saw potential in me and ordered me to go. There was one that was originally not considered to go with the Istari, but joined us at the insistence of his teacher, Yavanna. He was known as Aiwendil, but later called himself Radagast the Brown. He spends his days looking after the plants and animals of Middle-Earth. The last two were a pair of blue wizards called Alatar and Pallando. Only Alatar was asked to go, but his friendship with Pallando allowed them both to go and renaming themselves Morinehtar and Rómestámo. I believe they were responsible for starting a magic cult or two in Middle-Earth.” Gandalf lit his pipe while Wyldstyle and I processed the info.

“That’s…quite a lot,” I gulped. “I wish I had met Curumo. He sounds like a nice guy.”

“He was,” answered Gandalf, “but power corrupted him. You’ve already met him, but he called himself something else.” He faced us. “He rode atop a giant snake in the previous dimension we were in.”

“Saruman?!” I yelped. “Never mind.” I turned to Wyldstyle. “What about you? What’s your story?”

“Not really as elaborate as Gandalf’s,” replied Wyldstyle. “I was 9 when things went sour for Master Builders. I said to my mom that I could see numbers and had an urge to build every single day. The robot Mom had bought heard that and tried to take me to jail when Mom intervened. My dad, an alcoholic, had left us, so we couldn’t depend on him to help us. Mom told me to run. I hesitated, but Mom ordered me to run again and I did. The robots surrounding my home leveled it and took my mom to jail. From what I heard, she never told Lord Business what happened to me and so suffered. I don’t know how. I suffered from insecurity and changed my name a lot. A man named Vitruvius helped me master my Master Builder powers and helped me start the resistance movement against Lord Business. From there, I discovered Emmet, dragged him along for the ride when he found the Piece of Resistance, and helped him discover his Master Builder powers to fight Lord Business and stop his Kragle plan.”

“Kragle?” asked Gandalf.

“A substance that freezes you in place,” I explained.

“Interesting backstories,” rasped a voice. We jumped to see Batman standing with the rest of our group.

“How long have you guys been there?” I asked.

“Long enough,” replied Hongo.

“Is it morning already?” quizzed Gandalf.

“It would appear so,” I replied. “Breakfast, everyone?” They all agreed. We had pancakes this time. After breakfast, we mounted our vehicles. “All set?” I asked. Everyone confirmed. “CHARGE!” I shouted. The portal opened and we all went through.


We travelled through the vortex a bit. A bit longer…longer……longer……… “Shouldn’t we have arrived by now?!” asked Wyldstyle.

“Yes,” answered Batman. “Something’s up.”

“Wyldstyle, check your relic scanner,” I said. Wyldstyle pulled out the scanner and took a reading.

“Uh, not good!” she gulped. Our hearts sank.

“So, what do we do?” asked Gandalf.

“Well, I suggest you mind your heads!” called a voice with a Scottish accent. That’s when something whizzed over our heads. What was it? You’re not gonna believe this, but it was a blue box. I kid you not! It read “Police Public Call Box” on the top on all four sides, had a light on the top, which was blinking in rhythm to the noise it made. At best, I could say the noise was a Vworp or a whoosh. The box had two windows on each side, with the front having two signs. One of them read “Police Telephone. Free for Use of Public. Advice and Assistance Obtainable Immediately. Officers and Cars Respond to Urgent Calls. Pull to Open,” and was square shaped while the circle sign read “St John Ambulance.” While the doors told the person outside to pull to open, judging by the way the doors were pulled open from the inside, I’d say the outside person had to push to open. The person was an old man with short, wavy hair, the fiercest expression I’ve ever seen, eyebrows that could tell stories without a mouth, and a set of navy blue clothes with black clothes. “Hold on a sec!” called the man. He shut the doors and we heard his voice from the box. “Not that you have a choice in the matter. You’re stuck in a rift loop!” The box matched our speed but stayed ahead of us. The doors opened again and the man fired a grapple gun, specifically Batman’s! “Grab on!” encouraged the man. Was he gonna pull all 20 of us into that tiny box?!

“There’s no room!” I shouted.

“Oh yes, there is!” cheered Michael as he grabbed the line. I saw that and thought him mad!

“Are you out of your mind?!” I shouted.

“Just trust me!” called Michael. “We’re about to go on an adventure through time and space!” I blinked. Off his rocker, but I grabbed on and ordered everyone to do the same. Our horses grabbed on with their mouths, Hongo passed the line through the spokes of his bike and Batman hooked the end of the line to the Batmobile’s front. We were all pulled inside. When I got my bearings, I couldn’t believe what was inside! You would think that being a small box, it would have a small inside! What I saw was some sort of large interior with a set of panels done in a hexagonal shape with a central cylinder going up to the ceiling and some sort of mechanism going up and down inside!

“Er, what happened to three-dimensional Euclidian geometry?!” yelped Lukas.

“The Time Lords tore it up, threw it in the air, and snogged it to death!” cheered Michael. “Thus, a human’s entire understanding of physical space is transformed by Time Lord transportation! Our grasp of the universal constants of physical reality is now changed…forever!”

“Okay, you’re impressed by my home, thank you!” snapped the man in a dismissive tone. “Come on! Don’t just sit there! You’ve got a bunch of monsters to meet!”

“Who are you?” demanded Batman. “What did you do to us?”

“Is he always like this, Megumi?” asked the man. Wait, what?! “I assumed I just caught him at a bad time before.”

“Uh, what?!” stammered Wyldstyle. The man took the relic scanner and waved some sort of wand with a green light on the end over the thing. He put the wand away, earning a groan of disappointment from Michael.

“I’m the Doctor,” introduced the man. “I locked on to your scanner. Remember that.”

“Before?” I asked.

“You said before,” observed Batman.

“Is this some sort of time mess?” asked Hongo. “There IS a Kamen Rider that can help in that regard.”

“Well spotted, Batman, Megumi, and Hongo. Go to the head of the class!” commented the Doctor. “This is the TARDIS.”

“Short for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space!” cheered Michael. The Doctor blinked, then continued.

“It travels in time,” he went on. “We’ve met you lot before, but you haven’t met us yet. That’s time travel for you.” While the Doctor was explaining, Gandalf touched a panel, got a shock, briefly turning him into Gandalf the White, before he returned to being grey.

“You’re lying!” accused Batman.

“No, here’s your grapple gun,” explained the Doctor as he tossed the instrument to Batman.

“Clearly a copy,” dismissed Batman as he pulled out his own grapple gun.

“Again, no,” hissed the Doctor, a little irritated. “Like I say, time machine! Not a 3-D printer! Just give me your grapple gun later.”

“Doctor,” I said, “you said ‘We’ve met you before’ as if there’s another person.”

“Doctor, can I release the button now?” asked a voice. It came from a Japanese man in a teacher’s suit. He had a pompadour hairstyle, not usual to anyone from Japan. Hiroki arched an eyebrow.

“Kisaragi Gentarō?” he quizzed in Japanese name order. “What are you doing here?”

“The Doctor said I was needed to help some people,” explained Gentarō. “He said that holding this button down would help the TARDIS get into the rift loop you guys were stuck in, otherwise the harmonics core would implode.”

“That was an act,” muttered the Doctor. “There’s no such thing as a harmonics core, at least, not yet. You said you couldn’t understand gobbledygook, so I had you do something to keep you occupied.”

“You could have said for me to not touch anything!” protested Gentarō as he released the button.

“Given what Kengo said about you,” argued the Doctor, “I couldn’t take any chances, even after you told me not to listen to him. Pretty feeble attempt to change history. You’ve only ensured that events in your timeline will happen.”

“But…I never did that…” muttered Gentarō.

“Again, time travel,” said the Doctor as he tossed a device to Gentarō. The device had four slots in different shapes, had red tab switches under the slots, and had a handle on the right side. Gentarō’s eyes went wide.

“But…this thing was destroyed!” he yelped. “I threw it into molten steel!”

“You gave it to me earlier, after I first met you,” explained the Doctor.

“Where did my future self get it?” asked Gentarō.

“He just got it when you caught it,” commented the Doctor.

“Ah, a causal loop!” called Michael. The Doctor got up from the console.

“So, you know about the bootstrap paradox?” he asked. “Go ahead, share it with the class.”

“With pleasure!” cheered Michael as he grabbed a chalkboard and a piece of chalk. He drew a stick figure and made a curved line downwards and writes 1700’s. “So, the situation is this: a time traveler that loves Johann Sebastian Bach decides to meet his musical hero and so goes to the point when Toccata and Fugue is first composed. When he asks around, he realizes that there’s no one by the name of Bach.

“The time traveler is distraught and decides to copy the music FOR Bach. History goes on with barely a quiver. He returns to his time,” he draws another curved line going up back to the stick figure, “and is left with a conundrum. Someone is going to be inspired enough to travel back in time to hear Toccata and Fugue but will be distraught and so copy down all of Bach’s music.” He picked up an electric guitar.

“So, where did Toccata and Fugue come from?” he asked. He strummed the opening notes of Toccata and Fugue in D Minor. “This is an example of a causal loop, or bootstrap paradox, named after Heinlein’s book, By his Bootstraps which demonstrates this rather well in terms of a book. The time traveler is inspired by the music and ends up ‘writing’ the music.

“In effect, the time traveler inspired himself. He copied ‘Bach’, who copied the time traveler, who copied ‘Bach’, who copied the time traveler, and so on and so forth ad infinitum, without a beginning.” Emily raised her hand and Michael pointed to her.

“Won’t that mean that the results fade, in this instance, the music?” asked Emily.

“Not at all,” explained Michael. “Aristotle once said that you don’t have to prove ‘immediate knowledge’, so Bach’s Toccata and Fugue must have been written in order to exist. As demonstrated by this figure here,” he pointed to the drawing, “the reason that the music exists is why the traveler went on this journey. To him, it’s a straight line. To time, on the other hand, he went in a circle.

“Now, of course, a bootstrap paradox is not particularly useful, it simply IS. We’ve side stepped the question of ‘who wrote the music?’ by rendering the concept of beginnings moot. We are given a totally different sort of answer, which is the same as not answering.

“Such an answer makes me miss my companions of old,” mused the Doctor. “It holds together, but it’s also infuriating.” I raised my hand and Michael called on me.

“I hate to muddy the waters,” I asked, “but what about alternate timelines?”

“Essentially, the theory goes,” explained our teacher, Michael, “that there MUST have been a sequence of events in which Bach, or some other third party, let’s not make this more complicated than it is, wrote the music. However, that timeline was derailed by something that didn’t happen in the original history of events and so the time traveler is forced to intervene. So, what changed in the original timeline?

“Maybe the arrival of the time traveler himself? Perhaps Bach was too busy throwing his wig at the Doctor when he tried to explain the bootstrap paradox to the composer. Maybe meeting a fanboy put him off music all together. Whatever the reason, the time traveler must intervene.

“But, what happens in the new timeline, when someone decides to meet his hero, Bach? And in the timeline that follows that one? And so on and so forth? Time changes from a line stretching to infinity to a branching tree stretching to infinity.” Richard raised his hand and was called on.

“Doesn’t that imply that the theory begins with the assumption of an original composer and that composer is Bach?” asked Richard.

“Yes indeed,” confirmed Michael. “Which is what we’re trying to prove. The Greeks call it ‘begging the question’.”

“They can call it what they like,” exclaimed Gentarō as he rubbed his head, “I’m calling it a massive headache!”

“So, class,” asked Michael, “what did we learn?”

“Paradoxes, in general, can keep someone awake,” I muttered.

Toccata and Fugue in D Minor is an awesome tune,” said Emily.

“Time travel and logic are not friends,” commented Lukas.

“To use my words,” supplied the Doctor, “it’s all wibbly wobbly, timey wimey, stuff.”

“Well, whatever happened,” mused Gentarō, “I’m glad my old friend, the Fourze Driver, came back for now.”

“Fourze Driver?” I asked. “Are you a Kamen Rider?”

“I sure am!” cheered Gentarō. “I’m the Rider who will befriend everyone I meet!”

“That may prove challenging if you meet people that hate me,” remarked the Doctor. The TARDIS’ noises became louder until I heard a thud. “Ah, we’ve landed. Okay, out you go.” We were shoved out of the TARDIS. We had landed in a control room of some sorts. Batman looked out the window to see a probe float by.

“Where are we?” he asked.

“Does it matter?” replied the Doctor. “Call it, I don’t know, ‘Dave’!” Batman shook his head as the Doctor handed a piece of paper to Wyldstyle. “This is my phone number, you’ll call it when you get into trouble and I’ll help you out. I’m nice like that.” Wyldstyle felt creeped out when the Doctor winked.

“Aren’t you coming with us?” asked Gentarō.

“Look, normally I’d come along with you,” explained the Doctor, “but if I cross my own time-stream here, it’ll rip a hole in the universe so big you could drive his ego through it.” He pointed to Batman who snarled at that comment. “Anyway, good luck.” He scurried into the TARDIS and took off by fading away with what Michael called a Vworp. I checked over my team and saw Gandalf just staring at where the TARDIS was. Poor guy, he was out of his element. The wizard blinked a few times before speaking.

“Can someone explain to me what’s going on, please?” he had asked. Wyldstyle’s scanner started blinking.

“Not really, no,” she replied, “but, I think another Keystone’s here.” I yelped.

“I forgot to ask who controls the Elemental Keystone!” I cried.

“Be at peace, my lady,” assured Gandalf as he held up his left hand as it wore a Keystone Gauntlet. “Wyldstyle helped me puzzle this thing out.” Judging by his expression, I’d say Gandalf had found some familiar ground to work with.

“Guys,” called Emily, “the transmitter’s in that tube.”

“Blast,” hissed Gandalf. “It’s blocking out the Keystone. I cannot use it.”

“And there’s ice everywhere,” muttered Hiroki as he shivered. “Some of it is blocking out a grapple hook.”

“We’ll have to get the transmitter out,” declared Batman. Gandalf looked around.

“This place is unlike anywhere I’ve ever seen,” he mused. “Let us hurry and find the Keystone.”

“Search for the controls to open the tube,” I said. We started looking around, but most of the controls were dead. I heard something metal falling. It turned out to be Wyldstyle and Hongo bringing a ladder down. “Let’s hope any controls up there will prove functional,” I said.

“Maybe we don’t need to use buttons,” observed Wyldstyle. She pointed to a piece of machinery on top of the transmitter’s prison that could be knocked loose.

“I think one batarang should do it,” rasped Batman. He threw one and it knocked the tube open, allowing the transmitter to be blown out.

“Allow me to handle this,” called Gandalf. “Elemental Keystone, activate!” He was surrounded in a light that shifted from blue, to cyan, to red, to green, to blue again, and so on. “Let’s see,” muttered Gandalf, “let’s have you try fire on the ice, Sir Richard. Element of fire, Richard!” Richard was surrounded in a red light.

“Now this is interesting,” he chuckled. He then summoned a fireball. When his face lit up, he put his hands together and fired a torrent of flames at the ice, melting it quickly. The ice exposed the grapple hook and wires that needed to be connected. Richard grabbed his i.d tag while I grabbed mine.

“Henshin!” we announced. After the transformation sequence, Gentarō gawked.

“You guys are Kamen Riders?!” he gawked.

“We sure are!” confirmed Guard. He then swapped out his i.d tag for the Batman one.

“Batman Steel!” announced his belt. I swapped mine out for the Gandalf one.

“Gandalf Steel!” called my belt. As we settled into our new armor, Batman and Guard got the grapple hook to come loose while Gandalf and I got the wires connected. Batman and Guard’s part caught fire while Gandalf and I had no mishap.

“Element of water, Batman!” announced Gandalf. A blue aura surrounded Batman. He summoned a water ball, then put his hands together and doused the flames. Wyldstyle took the pieces and made an electrical coil. “Hm,” mused Gandalf, “most of us are used to a Keystone’s power except Gentarō. Would you like to try?”

“Sure!” confirmed Gentarō. “Since I don’t have my switches on me now, I’ll go with the Keystone, whatever it is.”

“Element of lightning, Gentarō!” announced Gandalf. Gentarō was surrounded by a cyan aura, generated lightning from his fingers, and zapped the coil.

“Elec on,” he joked. The door opened and revealed a humanoid, silver creature walking towards us with an arm outstretched. It had silver handles going up from where ears would be to the top of the head, a slight “tear-drop” design to the holes that work as eyes, and a blue light in the center. Iron Man should sue. It stomped forward for a bit, then slowed down, then fell. I cancelled my transformation to roll him over. The light in the chest had gone out.

“Well,” I jested, “low batteries?”

“We should move,” gulped Michael, looking a little scared. I arched an eyebrow but got everyone to move. We arrived in a room that had a hidden alcove in the wall, frozen over. A Keystone transmitter was being guarded and I could see security cameras around that area. Richard was still in Batman Steel, so he turned invisible and headed to the transmitter. He managed to lower the guard and turn off the cameras.

“Elemental Keystone, activate!” announced Gandalf. “Element of fire, Gentarō!”

“Fire on!” called Gentarō. I had no idea why he was doing that, but, oh well. He melted the ice on the alcove doors. It seemed to be missing a design.

“Hey, this image looks like that space man robot we saw!” observed Wyldstyle. “It looks incomplete, though. Maybe completing it is the key.”

“I think I can help in that regard,” replied Gandalf as he used his magic to complete the image. The alcove opened to deposit machinery at our feet. I heard stomping and saw one of the strange robots fire at some debris blocking the way with a concealed laser weapon, then stomping back to a window. Wyldstyle saw some cables on the ground and got an idea.

“Loose cables everywhere?” she muttered. “If we can create a generator, we can power up the base.”

“If this isn’t their base,” gulped Michael, indicating the robots.

“What are you so afraid of?” I asked as we helped Wyldstyle gather materials. “They’re robots. We can take them if they’re hostile!”

“If they were just robots,” replied Michael, “I wouldn’t be so worried.”

“Element of water, Gandalf!” announced Gandalf. He was surrounded in a blue aura and doused the fire on the stairway the robot shot at. He climbed up with Wyldstyle as she opened the windows to reveal a barren, star studded landscape. The surface almost looked lunar. There was a probe next to a platform. Gandalf was about to go outside when I told him that that area had no air. There were areas with an atmosphere, according to the computer terminals I had read, but the area we could immediately see was not one of them. Gandalf had then used his magic to move the probe onto the platform, which moved on tracks to bring the probe inside. Wyldstyle needed it near the alcove, so Gandalf had a solution. “Element of lightning, Richard!” Richard was surrounded by a cyan aura and moved towards an electric coil to bring the probe down. We cannibalized the parts to make a generator and two backups with the cables used to send power.

“Job done,” called Batman. “Now, let’s power this place up!” He flicked a switch on the main generator. An unearthly hum indicated that it was working but needed a little more juice. I saw an electric coil in the alcove and requested the use of lightning from Gandalf.

“Element of lightning, Megumi!” announced Gandalf. I felt a buzz as the cyan aura flowed over me. I fired a lightning bolt at the coil. It fell off a giant version of the full torso unit of those robots. Arms were attached by machines and legs came up from panels in the floor. They attached to the hips. A light in the center came on, showing blue. Again, Stark, sue! A giant head with the same teardrop eyes, single mouth slit, and handles from the ears to the scalp came crawling in on cables that held it up. The cables buried themselves into the neck, completing a giant version of those robots we saw. The eyes and mouth flashed orange and the eyes stayed on. The mouth switched off and only turned on when it spoke in a robotic monotone.

“Upgrade complete,” it boomed. It turned down to look at us. “Organic lifeforms detected,” it observed. The robots then stopped stumbling. They straightened themselves so that the chests were held high and the arms were out, poised and ready for action at a moment’s notice. The feet were shoulder width apart and they stomped with the left foot leading and the knees bending at a 45-degree angle. They marched with purpose until they took their positions. Two of them flanked the doors of the alcove. Two of them guarded a door to a hallway above the alcove. One of them was at an airlock leading to the outside where the probe was. There were two at the door we came through to get here and one at each of the five computer terminals. Two of the robots at the terminals had black handles. The two flanking the giant’s alcove had…an organic brain?! Are these guys just brains in humanoid jars!?

“Hey, check this out!” called Gentarō. He pointed to a tube that suspended 40 switches. A robot at a computer terminal with black handles flicked a switch and opened the tube. The switches were deposited into a black box with an image of their head on it.

“These devices are called Astro-switches,” reported the robot to the giant. “They harness an unknown energy called Cosmic Energy to summon equipment. We can manufacture such a device.”

“Excellent, Cyber-Leader 449,” praised the giant. “And what of the final experiment on the new rebreathers?”

“It is initiating now,” replied the robot that reported, Cyber-Leader 449. At that point, I saw two astronauts stomp outside. What were they doing? They started undoing the locks to their helmets while in an airless environment! I rushed for the airlock, but the robot guarding it stopped me. All Vortex Riders rushed for the airlock but were halted as two robots fired a warning shot.

“Now look,” I hissed to the robot that stopped me, “I don’t know what you’re planning, but those people need to get inside!”

“They will not return inside,” boomed the giant. We all asked various versions of the phrase “why not?” “They are performing the final test for new rebreathers so we can breathe in any environment, even in the vacuum of space,” replied the giant.

“But we have to get them in!” I insisted. I tried to get around the airlock’s guard, but it grabbed my shoulder. They’ve got quite the grip.

“There is really no point,” droned the airlock guard. “The doors will not open until the test is complete.”

“But, don’t you care about those people?!” I shouted.

“‘Care’? No,” replied the giant. “Why should we ‘care’?”

“Because they’re people!” Hongo shouted, “and they’re going to die!”

“I do not understand,” quizzed the giant. “There are people dying all over the universe, yet you do not ‘care’ for them.”

“Test complete,” reported the second Cyber-Leader. We turned to the window to see the astronauts with their helmets off. They had the handles of these robots.

“Bring them inside,” boomed the giant. The airlock guard then released me, turned to the keypad, typed a code at a very fast pace, and opened the outer door. The astronauts marched like the robots into the airlock. The doors then shut to let the inner doors open. They marched inside.

“Upgrade successful,” reported one of the astronauts to the giant.

“Report for complete conversion,” ordered the giant. The astronauts marched to another room. I tried to stop them, but the airlock guard held me back. “You are wondering where you are,” observed the giant. “From the fragments of security footage our cameras picked up, you were left here by the Time Lord known as the Doctor and he did not tell you where you are, is that so?”

“Yes,” I hissed, not even bothering to disguise the newfound contempt I had for these creatures.

“You are one of many fragments of our ancestral home world,” replied the giant. “It is called…”

“Ancestral home-world?” interrupted Michael. “You mean Mondas?!”

“Correct,” confirmed the giant. “You were under the impression that Mondas had vaporized?”

“Yes, that’s what the UNIT files left by the Doctor said,” lied Michael. Good thing he didn’t reveal we were from a different dimension.

“The Doctor is incorrect,” replied the giant. “Mondas simply exploded.”

“What was Mondas like before you came to power?” I asked.

“Eons ago, Mondas was Earth’s twin planet,” relayed the giant. “But the arrival of a new celestial object that became Earth’s moon interfered with the orbit, thus making us drift to the far reaches of space. We had returned to Earth’s orbit to drain its energy, but that was when the Doctor first interfered, thus making our planet explode. Now, we are gathering the fragments of our home and using artificial materials to make a new world. We are 45% completed but will require more fragments to complete the equator and southern hemisphere. If needed, we will extract parts of Earth and take its population to increase our numbers. However, another race is interfering and will stop at nothing to destroy us. We had met a version of our kind from another universe where they came from Earth to become the next level of humanity. They had crossed into our universe and we upgraded each other to take the shape you see before you. That has doubled our efforts, but the work still goes slowly.”

“That still doesn’t answer who or what you are!” cried Sheela.

“They’re called the Cybermen,” explained Michael.

“Cybermen?” I asked.

“Correct,” confirmed the giant Cyberman. “I am one of currently 16 Cyber-Kings. We answer to the Cyber-Planner. These Cyber-Controllers,” he indicated the Cybermen with exposed brains, “answer to me as other Cyber-Controllers answer to the other Cyber-Kings. The Cyber-Leaders answer to the Cyber-Controllers. The Cyber-Deputies answer to the Cyber-Leaders. The rest answer to the Cyber-Deputies. We were like you once, but our scientists realized that our race was getting weak.”

“Weak? How?” asked Gentarō.

“Our life span was getting shorter,” elaborated the Cyber-King. “So, our scientists and doctors created spare parts for us until we could be almost completely replaced.”

“But…that means you’re not even like me!” shouted Hongo. “You’re practically robots!”

“We are cyborgs like yourself,” argued the Cyber-Kings. He must have taken a scan of us. “We just do not have genetic modification. As the Cyber-Controllers can clearly show you, our brains are like yours, except certain weaknesses have been removed.”

“What weaknesses?” asked Irina.

“You don’t consider emotions a weakness, do you?” Mikhail quizzed.

“Emotions are a weakness that must be removed,” replied the Cyber-King. “We are doing organic life a favor by doing so.”

“That’s awful!” I shouted. “You mean, you wouldn’t care if someone was in pain?!”

“There would be no need,” answered the Cyber-King. “We do not feel pain.”

“We do!” I yelled.

“That will be changed when you are converted,” boomed the Cyber-King. “You will become like us.” That concluded negotiations as I grabbed a pole and drove it into the head of a Cyber-Controller. It fell with a loud death rattle.

“Judging by her actions,” said Batman, “I don’t think so.”

“Hostility detected,” answered the Cyber-King. “Failure to comply with upgrading is not an option.”

“It is for us!” called Gentarō as he put the Fourze Driver to his waist. It formed a belt strap on its own. Gentarō then split the case in half and attached each half to the sides of his belt. He pulled out four Astro-switches. They were of different colors and numbers. Number 1 was orange, number 2 was blue, number 3 was yellow, and number 4 was black. Gentarō inserted the switches right to left from 1 to 4 as the belt announced what the switches were.

“Rocket! Launcher! Drill! Radar!” announced the Driver. He then flicked the tab switches down. Hongo struck his initial henshin pose as we got out our i.d tags. “3! 2! 1!” said an electronic countdown from Gentarō’s belt. While that went on, he struck a pose that had his left foot forward, his left hand across his front, and his right hand on the handle.

“Rider…!” began Hongo.

“Henshin!” we all shouted We all transformed and got ready for battle. Gentarō’s Rider form looked like it was made from the material needed for an astronaut’s suit and had a conical helmet with a black diamond in the middle with orange insect eyes and a pair of small antennae. He had gauntlets around his wrists and ankles. The right arm had an orange circle on its gauntlet, the right leg had a blue X shape on its gauntlet, the left leg had a yellow triangle on its gauntlet, and the left arm had a black square on its gauntlet. He looked almost like a space shuttle. Gentarō crouched down.

“Uchū…” he began before popping back up and spreading his limbs out, “KITĀĀĀĀĀ!” (Space is here!)

“Fourze kitā!” (Fourze is here!) cheered Sengoku.

“Fourze?” I asked. I turned to the new Rider. “That’s your Rider name? Fourze?”

“That’s right!” confirmed Fourze. He turned to the Cyber-King “Kamen Rider Fourze! Taiman harasete morau ze!” (Let’s settle this man-to-man!)

“You will not escape,” boomed The Cyber-King as more Cybermen entered the room. “We knew that somebody like you would come here. Now you must be upgraded.” We started attacking the Cybermen, but they anticipated our moves. I then decided to slap my Cyberman. It titled its head as if it were trying to process what I was trying to accomplish.

“There is no logic in your actions,” it observed. “We can introduce that into your brain when you are upgraded.”

“Oh, but there IS logic to that slap,” I argued. I held up the new i.d tag. “Check this out!” I did the i.d swap and summoned the wardrobe.

“Cyberman Steel!” announced my belt. Apropos, given what it was made of. The new armor had the handles of the Cyberman’s head. I had the blaster out and had the boots on as well as the chest unit. Tony, I take it back, don’t sue! I fired on my Cyberman right in the chest unit.

“Cyberman firepower is being used against us!” reported a Cyber-Leader. “Unable to upgrade!” The rest of my people go the idea and activated their own Cyberman Steel. That was the final straw as the number of Cybermen went down.

“They are incompatible!” boomed the Cyber-King. “Delete! Delete! Delete!”

“What does that mean?!” quizzed Fourze.

“It means they’re going to kill us instead of upgrade us!” yelped Battle.

“You know,” mused Fourze, “I think I have an idea!” He took out the Rocket and Radar switches and took a cellphone out with a red front with an N and a blue bottom with an S. Both ends had a switch on each end. Fourze opened the phone and split it in half. He inserted the red switch into the right arm slot.

“N Magnet!” announced the belt. Fourze then put the blue end into the left arm slot. “S Magnet!” He then pressed a button on the switches where the phone halves were. “N/S! Magnet on!” called the belt. Machinery appeared, resting on Fourze’s shoulders. It had a twin barreled gun on the back and a helmet that went over the head with Fourze’s antennae and eyes on it.

“Fourze, Magnet states!” announced Fourze. He grabbed the phone halves and pressed concealed buttons on them, firing magnetic bursts at the Cybermen.

“Alert! Alert! Cannot upgrade! Cannot Upgrade!” cried a Cyberman.

“Let’s see,” muttered Fourze, “let’s have you guys on your king’s arm!” He moved the Cybermen and magnetized them to the left arm of the Cyber-King. The weight brought it down to our level. We soon used the strength of our Cyberman Steel and ripped the arm off.

“What is the meaning of this?!” boomed the Cyber-King. “Your species belongs to us! Your species will become like us!” More Cybermen marched in. “Delete! Delete! Hostiles will be deleted! Delete the rogue elements! Delete!”

“We get it!” called Fourze. “You want to kill us!”

“Those who are not compatible for upgrade will be deleted,” droned a Cyberman before Fourze tried the same trick again.

“You are incompatible! Delete! Delete!” boomed the Cyber-King.

“Would you just shut up!” I shouted as I touched Fourze, gaining his i.d tag and swapping it out with the one I was using. I selected the magnet states.

“Fourze Magnet States Steel!” announced my belt.

“N/S Magnet on!” called the voice of Fourze’s belt. I had gained the same magnetic shooter backpack and almost fell over.

“How do you walk around in this thing?!” I yelped.

“It’s meant to be stationary,” explained Fourze. I then regained balance and helped Fourze as I mimed pulling the triggers on the handles. We sent the Cybermen onto the Cyber-King’s remaining arm. We then tore that thing apart!

“NO!” it defied. “You will perish under maximum deletion!” It started sparking. “Upgrade process is…FAILING?! What have you done?! This is not possible! The Cybermen are superior! We are the Cybermen, and you are inferior!”

“We have it on the ropes!” I called.

“Allow me!” replied Fourze. He pulled the handle on the side of his belt. Three klaxon alarms sounded.

“Limit Break!” announced the belt.

“Rider Super Electromagnetic Bomber!” shouted Fourze. He flipped the cover off the red phone half and pressed the button. The guns on the back came off and united in front of him in the shape of a u-shaped magnet. The new weapon fired as a railgun would and destroyed the torso and legs. All that was left was the head. It removed itself from the remains and scurried up the stairs into the hallway above its alcove. The vortex riders returned to their original form, while Fourze returned to Gentarō. We pursued it with Cybermen coming out of the walls, literally! The Cyber-King’s entered a room then shut the door as it entered a hallway. We couldn’t near enough to the keypad as the Cybermen swarmed us. We were starting to tire out!

“Anyone have a plan?!” I asked. Then I noticed one of the enemy’s numbers waved at us. “What the?” A Cyberman caught it.

“Explain your actions,” it quizzed. “It does nothing to delete these rogue elements.”

“What, myself included?” it asked in a synthesized man’s voice. Wait, what?!

“What is the meaning of this?!” asked a Cyber-Leader.

“Sorry, old chaps,” replied the rogue Cyberman, “but these people must pursue the Cyber-King.” It then fired on the rest of the Cybermen!

“Rogue unit detected!” reported the Cyber-Leader. “Delete! Delete!”

“Quickly!” called the rogue Cyberman as it opened the door. “Through here!” We entered the door with the Cyberman behind us. We escaped and got out into an area with air. We released our transformations and started catching our breath. This dimension had a lot of running involved.

Categories
Kamen Rider Vortex Kamen Rider Vortex Chapters

Chapter 13

“I’m very disappointed in you, Lex and Hiro,” rumbled Vortech as he dangled Hiro and Lex Luthor in front of him.

“It’s not my fault!” protested Lex. “You should have warned me Batman and his cronies would be there!”

“I did!” argued Hiro. “You were the one who underestimated them!”

“Batman? Again?!” snapped Vortech as he released the two of them. “Well, if mice are scurrying through my property, then I’d better put down some traps!”

“You do that,” replied Hiro as he picked himself up. He then took out the spheres of Turretorg and Discornia. “In the meantime, I’m going to regenerate these two. They were about to explode back there.” He headed to a terminal with many spheres and inserted the two in his hands into empty slots. Holograms of the monsters appeared in red and showed a status bar.

“Well, I can see Vortech’s no Shocker leader,” called a voice that made Hiro grin. He turned to see Igura. “Such a sloppy man, he can’t even keep the enemy straight,” she muttered.

“He pays well,” explained Hiro, “but he’s no true ruler. He intends to make one perfect universe at the expense of others but doesn’t understand that a multiverse needs to exist to keep ideas fresh, reality stable, and feelings to flourish.” He then remembered something. “Speaking of feelings,” he continued, “do you remember our days in Shocker?”

“Ah, yes,” remembered Igura, “you were one of Shocker’s top scouts. Discovering your belt was what inspired Shocker to make a cyborg super soldier for their needs.”

“Remember when I said that you were the only light in that dark organization?” asked Hiro.

“That was when we were young,” sighed Igura, “when I was young. Now, I am old, and far past my prime. There is someone better for you.”

“Not true,” argued Hiro, “my feelings for you have not changed. I’m going to ask you something, and I want your honest answer. ‘No’ is fine with me.” He got down on one knee and opened a ring box to reveal a ring with an eagle decoration. “Igura, will you spend the rest of your life with me as my wife?” Igura gasped.

“Is this a joke?” she asked as her eyes went misty.

“I never joke about this,” replied Hiro.

“It was a joke when you married Megumi’s mom,” noticed Igura.

“She could never fill the void in my heart that came when I was taken from our home,” answered Hiro. “Well?” He was then taken into Igura’s embrace.

“YES!” she cheered. “I would love to be your wife!” She released Hiro to allow him to slip the ring on her finger. “Of course,” mused Igura as she looked at the ring, “we need to wait for these events to end.”

“Then we need to end them quickly,” chuckled Hiro as he leaned in for a kiss, which was reciprocated. They heard a “Tch!” from behind them and turned to see Ambassador Hell watching them.

“This is exactly what makes humans weak,” he hissed. “You’ve fallen far, Igura. You forget that without me, you would have no power!”

“You forget that a world cannot be conquered unless you control the money,” argued Igura.

“Quite honestly,” mused Hiro, “if I stayed back home, I would have joined Shocker Nova.”

“That would be a very poor move,” countered Ambassador Hell. “Besides, without me, we wouldn’t have any Foundation Elements.”

“I noticed that you haven’t done anything,” said Hiro.

“He’s needed to command his troops,” replied Vortech as he approached them. “A general hardly enters the battlefield and risk getting killed. It would put his troops in disarray!”

“Oh yeah?” commented Hiro. “And you would know? A general that hangs back is a coward in my eyes! He that never fights wouldn’t know how to throw a punch!”

“I can fight!” argued Ambassador Hell.

“Yeah, poorly!” countered Igura.

“Ambassador Hell could probably locate the next Foundation Element without help!” boasted Vortech.

“I could do better!” argued Igura.

“You wouldn’t even last five seconds in another dimension before you start worrying about dirt on your coat!” snapped Ambassador Hell.

“Would you two care to make a wager on the outcome?” asked Hiro.

“I wouldn’t want to bet against your fiancée,” assured Vortech with heavy sarcasm.

“Well, if you two are afraid,” taunted Igura. Ambassador Hell’s claw clamped on Igura’s neck.

“I’m afraid of nothing!” he snarled.

“Prove it!” gasped Igura.

“Ambassador Hell, release her! We’re taking up their wager!” ordered Vortech. Ambassador Hell dropped Igura. “Name your stakes,” requested Vortech. After he made sure Igura was okay, Hiro laid out the wager.

“Once the next Foundation Element is located,” he explained, “we will split into two Shocker branches-only teams. Ambassador Hell will lead Shocker and Igura, Shocker Nova. Whoever finds the Foundation Element and returns here with it is the winner. The loser must prepare the winner’s meal.”

“Done!” agreed Ambassador Hell.


While that was going on, we returned to Vorton and got out of our vehicles. Emily led Hiroki to the med-bay while Batman turned to Gandalf. “That staff’s important, somehow,” guessed Batman.

“We should put it somewhere secure,” suggested Hongo.

“Agreed,” I replied. Gandalf decided to put it away. He leaned it up against a wall. It fell over. He tried again, same results. He was about to try once more when a green hand grabbed it. The owner of the hand, Elphaba, was nose to nose with Gandalf.

“There’s a vault on the same level as the brig,” she snapped. “You can put it there!” She shoved the staff back into Gandalf’s hands. Gandalf recovered as Batman held up the new Keystone.

“This is the Elemental Phase Keystone,” called the mysterious voice. “Also known as the Keystone with the fanciest name.”

“Can’t we just say Elemental Keystone?” I asked.

+SAYING ELEMENTAL KEYSTONE DOES ACTIVATE ITS POWERS+ replied my belt. +GATEWAY 60% STABILIZED. BATTLE ARENA ONLINE+

“Battle arena?” I quizzed.

+DIFFERENT TYPES OF COMPETITIONS WITH FIELDS FROM ACROSS THE DIMENSIONS WILL DETERMINE WINNERS+ said my belt. +IT ALSO HAS A HOLOGRAPHIC BATTLE SIMULATION WITH FAMOUS BATTLES FROM ACROSS THE MULTIVERSE IN ITS DATABANKS+

“Now that sounds awesome!” cheered Sheela.

“We’ll test it out once this mess is over,” I declared. Emily came back to us. “How’s Hiroki?” I asked.

“He’s recovering at a faster rate than most humans do,” reported Emily. “Just a good night’s sleep and he should be all right for tomorrow.”

“Good,” I replied. “I need him ready for the coming fight.”

“Do you think that we’ll be fighting Hiro tomorrow?” asked Gandalf.

“We’ve caused major embarrassment for him by taking the staff and the Elemental Keystone,” I answered. “I think a fight with him is very likely.”

“In the meantime,” requested Elphaba, “could someone technically minded help me? The gateway is making a rattling noise.”

“I’ll check it out,” answered Lukas.

“Let me help,” offered Batman. That’s when the portal opened again. I really didn’t want these people to come through. Why? I had visited their dimension once and loathed it! The people that came out were Bart Simpson, Krusty the Clown, and Homer Simpson, in that order.

“Eat my shorts, you two!” Bart taunted to Homer and Krusty.

“You’re gonna pay for dousing my new business opportunity!” snarled Krusty, in reference to his new flame grilled burgers.

“Why, you little!” shouted Homer. He managed to catch Bart and started strangling him. While that was going on, I decided to get some new i.d tags. How I got them, in fairness, wasn’t gentle, but since I hate their show, I wasn’t gonna lose sleep over what I planned to do. I kicked Homer in the teeth, punched Bart in the face, and threw them into Krusty. Since I already had the Krusty i.d tag, I had now gotten the Homer and Bart ones.

“Now then,” I snarled, “out you go!” I threw them one by one into the portal back to their world and shut it off. “Well,” I remarked, “that was entertaining.”

“Who were those people?!” asked Oren.

“No one you would want in your shop, I can assure you,” replied Emmanuel. While we were in the Vortex, Oren had revealed his past about being a former para-trooper in France, hence why he can speak fluent French, and his training and current job as the head chef and owner of the pastry shop, Charmant II. He never revealed what happened to the original Charmant after the events of Kamen Rider Gaim. It didn’t matter, for at that moment, a portal opened for him. “I guess this is Au revoir for now, Monsieur Oren Pierre Alfonzo,” remarked Emmanuel.

“If you ever visit Zawame, my home town,” invited Oren, “be sure to stop by Charmant II. Au revoir, mes amis!” He then gasped as if he remembered something. “I found this bag on the front steps of Charmant II before that portal united me with you.” He gave us the bag. I opened it to see studs!

+TOTAL STUDS IN BAG ARE 95,000+ said my belt. +CURRENT CUMULATIVE STUD TOTAL IS 380,000+

“Merci!” I called to Oren. He bowed and then jumped through the portal. “Well,” I said, “who’s up for dinner?” A collective stomach growl came from everyone. “I thought so. Let’s eat.” We headed down to the cafeteria and had our meals. Emily had brought a meal to Hiroki so he could get something in his belly. After a shower, we all went to bed, with Hiroki staying in the med-bay so Emily, with her quarters next door, could check on him.


Death had arrived at the tournament arena we were at and met with someone training a regiment under their command. The armor the leader wore disguised their gender as it gave the appearance of a muscular warrior with an angry face for the helmet design. Death dismounted her horse and approached the armored person. The person turned and took off the helmet to reveal a woman’s face with a scar across her right eye going to her left cheek. “I have come for your aid, War,” whispered Death, “in troubled times. The Vortexons are abroad. Darkness that our sisters, Light and Dark, cannot control is approaching! The Tarlaxians under Vortech’s control are alive and well!”

“Is that all the news you have for me then?” grunted War as she went to improve the stance of one of her soldiers.

“Is that not enough?!” whispered Death. “Vortech is moving again!”

“We can deal with Vortech ourselves, Death,” grunted War. “You and me. One way or another, we’ll have true power as Gods.”

“What talk is this?!” whispered Death. ‘What are you saying, War?!”

“It’s time for us to choose,” grunted War. “A new age is coming to the dimensions. A new power is rising. Nothing that anyone can do will avail against it. Vortech’s enemies are utterly doomed, but his allies…well…I see no downside to a universe of his design. Ultimately, it will lead to eternal…me!”

“Are you saying that we should join with Vortech?!” whispered Death.

“Does that displease you?” grunted War. Her tone became more dangerous. “Where’s the Foundation Saber?! Why does Lacey say she no longer has it?! That blade was crafted by my hands! Have you taken it? Would you rather…”

“General War, forgive the interruption,” called one of War’s commanders, “but our intelligence network has discovered something that might be of interest.” He handed a device over to War.

“What is this?” grunted War.

“After careful study, we’ve determined it to be one of the logs of Vortech’s minions, specifically, Hiro Adachi,” replied the commander

“From the Kamen Rider world?” whispered Death.

“Yes, my lady,” confirmed the commander. “The contents have been unlocked and examined to be sure that it wasn’t doctored. You may want to take a listen before declaring the thing you personify on Death.” War took the log and pressed the play button.

“Rogue’s log, multiverse date: 37th day of the 2019th year of the 9th multiversal age (February 6th, 2019); I have managed to discover that a weapon known as the Foundation Saber is needed to stabilize the elements. I have tried to tell Vortech this, but he’s so convinced that someone may use it to kill him. He’s right though, but he’s not sure where it is. I have revisited the world of the Simpsons to get information from Lacey.” Death gasped. “She said that War had crafted it as one of the few weapons that can harm her.” War arched an eyebrow. “When I told Vortech of this, he said that there is a far cleaner way to defeat War and her associates and bend them to his rule, the Rifle of Tarlax. Since we have enslaved and brainwashed some Tarlaxians, convincing them they are advanced Vortexons, I will ask them where the rifle is. Once we have all four horsemen, Vortech will use the rifle to implant a controller into their skulls since Shocker and Shocker Nova’s methods of brainwashing will prove fruitless. Both branches are working on a solution right now. End log.” War was trembling in anger.

“His allies?” whispered Death. “Vortech claims none. There is a third choice. Stay in the enemy’s council and learn of their plans.”

“Skulk around and pass information like a rat?” grunted War. “No. I see no honor in staying another second as Vortech’s ally.” She turned to her troops. “Ladies and Gentlemen, we march for battle! Prepare for the red rain! Sharpen your blades! Load your guns! We march for glory and victory!” The troops cheered in readiness.

“Not yet!” whispered Death. “We still need to keep the Foundation Saber away from Vortech! There is a weapon that you crafted. Five to be precise.” War turned sharply on Death.

“Are you out of your mind?” she snarled. “Our own transformation belts are bad enough, but the Apocalypse Driver?! We don’t even have a rider that can carry the name Apocalypse. There is a mutant named that, but that dimension is already in turmoil and is beyond even Vortech’s reach!”

“But we DO have a rider that can carry the mantle of Apocalypse,” whispered Death. “Perhaps, you know of whom I speak. An old friend of ours. A goth girl with lacey clothes and a black flower in her hair with a skull in the center.”

“Not Lacey!” grunted War. “She can’t handle such a task. Her humanity would get in the way!”

“Just give her a chance!” insisted Death. War grunted. “She’s proven that she can put aside humanity when duty comes first! She’s a skilled commander! She’s the proper age!” War rolled her eyes.

“Ma’am,” questioned the commander, “what choice do we have? Besides, Lacey is an old friend. She may prove to be a perfect candidate for Apocalypse.” War considered.

“There’s still Pestilence and Famine to convince,” she finally grunted.

“Then we must convince them together,” whispered Death.

“Sadly, War will not join you,” remarked a voice. Everyone turned to see Hiro standing in the seats above. He chuckled as he jumped down to the arena. “Vortech’s not gonna like the fact that you betrayed him, War.”

“I don’t like the fact that you’ve proven yourself to be a rat,” grunted War.

“Hiro, this does not need to devolve into a fight,” whispered Death.

“War started it,” argued Hiro as he loaded his i.d tag. “Henshin!”

“You’re not the only one with a belt like that,” grunted War. “Soldiers, the Bellum Driver, if you please.” A soldier opened a box with a belt inside. It had a black strap with a grey sphere and a sword above it. War put the belt on. “Named after my Latin name,” explained War, “it is a new weapon that will spell your defeat! Henshin!” She slid the sword into the sphere.

“War!” rumbled the belt. Armor appeared, giving the appearance of an angry, orange soldier with pointed canines.

“Kamen Rider War!” roared War. “I shall bring battle to your doorstep!”

“I’m getting in on this too!” whispered Death as she pulled out a black belt with bones going horizontally across and an upside-down skull with the mouth open. Death put the belt on. “Henshin!” she whispered. She turned the skull right-side up, which closed the jaw automatically. The sapphires that made up the eyes started glowing.

“Death!” rumbled the belt. Her armor had a black and white skeletal motif with a cowl and scythe blades on the forearms.

“Kamen Rider Death!” announced Death. “You cannot delay your appointment with me!”

“We’ll see!” declared Rogue. “Kamen Rider Rogue! Stand and deliver!” The two charged at each other. War’s soldiers cheered War and Death on, giving them strength.

Categories
Kamen Rider Vortex Kamen Rider Vortex Chapters

Chapter 12

We had landed in the pits below. I got a bit of a snake-like labyrinth vibe down below. I felt something beneath me. “All right, who’s under my dress this time?” I muttered, a little annoyed that this happened twice. I counted noses. In all honesty, I wish it was one of my friends, but they were all accounted for. “Then, who…?” I gulped, a little worried. I got up and moved forward. I turned, slowly, and saw that I was sitting on the skeletal remains of one of the previous tenants of those pits! I shrieked in horror and leapt into Richard’s arms. We both tumbled down, with me on top of him. He wrapped his arms around me. “Er, Richard, what are you doing?” I asked.

“Forgive me, my lady,” replied Richard in a teasing tone, “but for a lady to topple her rescuer is hardly proper. Thus, I must hold you here until you apologize.” I arched an eyebrow.

“You’ve been waiting for a chance to do this ever since I did the same on Vorton, haven’t you?” I guessed.

“Maybe,” said Richard coyly. I sighed. Since he was using my own trick against me, I may as well follow through.

“Good Sir Knight,” I murmured, “your princess would like to apologize for making you fall (despite it being beyond our control). Can you forgive me?” He released me. “Just wait until you leap into my arms!” I warned.

“If we get out of here,” muttered Lukas.

“We will,” I assured him. “We just need to find Chen.” The person we were looking for laughed after I said that. We looked around but couldn’t see him. There were four paths branching off in a square pattern from the room we were in, all obscured by greenish smoke.

“You’ll never find me!” boasted Chen’s voice. “No one has ever gotten through my maze of tunnels! You’ll rot down here! Forever running in circles, never knowing where to turn!” He finished with a laugh.

“Well, that’s disconcerting,” gulped Sheela.

“Come on,” called Wyldstyle, “I can see the way forward.”

“How?!” I said incredulously.

“See these panels?” asked Wyldstyle. I saw the panels and recognized the shapes!

“I get it!” I realized. “We use them as a compass!” Then a thought struck me. “Er…how?”

“With the good old fashioned Chroma Keystone,” explained Wyldstyle as she pointed out the Chroma discs. I said no more as I took out my i.d tag.

“Henshin!” I announced. I swapped my i.d tag for Wyldstyle’s.

“Wyldstyle Steel!” called my belt. With the armor changed, Wyldstyle and I set to work, making a clock like device with the hands holding the L-shapes at 4 and 8 and the circle in the center. The 8 o’ clock hand was red, the circle was yellow, and the 4 o’ clock hand was blue. Thank goodness, we found a Keystone transmitter down here. I got out of my Kamen Rider Royal persona and twirled.

“Chroma Keystone, activate!” announced Wyldstyle. The discs formed the paint blobs. “Chroma lock, reveal!” The design in white lines reappeared. “Let’s see, Chroma! Batman! Red!” Batman jumped into the red paint and landed on the left L-shape in the lock design. “Chroma! Emmanuel! Blue!” Emmanuel leapt into the air, passed through the blue paint, and then landed on the right L-shape in the lock design, spinning on his feet for five seconds until he stopped bowed. “Chroma! Yellow! Xiomara!” Xiomara just ran through the yellow paint and stopped on the circle in the lock design. The light streams then moved toward the clock design as the hands spun and pointed at 3 o’ clock. The paint vanished off the users.

“Merci,” called Oren and Emmanuel to the compass.

“Oh, are you lost?” asked Chen. “Don’t worry, I’m SURE you’ll get out eventually!” We picked up the transmitter, went down the tunnel indicated by the hands, and arrived at a new room. “Oh hey!” continued Chen. “I’ve sent some of my men to help you get out. They can be a bit heavy handed, but just let them take care of you!” His cackling was interrupted by Luthor’s roar.

“CHEN!” he shouted. “I WILL FIND YOU!”

“Do you really think you went the right way just then?!” taunted Chen.

“Ignore him,” I suggested as I set the transmitter down. To my surprise, I only saw one circle, a yellow one. “Erm, where are the others?” I asked. Gandalf lit up a dark area.

“I believe I found one,” he answered as he pointed out the red circle.

“I think I can find the blue one,” mused Batman. “Sheela, mind helping me out?”

“Sure,” obliged Sheela as she took out her i.d tag. “Henshin!” She then swapped out her i.d tag for the Batman one.

“Batman Steel!” announced her belt. Kamen Rider Claw then fired the grapple gun, along with Batman and they pulled down a snake statue. As they pulled, Lex Luthor mentioned something about “this infernal maze!” Batman and Claw got the blue circle out of the snake statue’s mouth. Claw deactivated her suit and returned to being Sheela. Wyldstyle’s gauntlet buzzed. We set up another compass. The left hand was red, the right hand was yellow, and the circle was blue.

“Chroma Keystone, activate!” called Wyldstyle. “Chroma lock, reveal! Chroma! Yellow! Sheela! Chroma! Red! Batman! Chroma! Blue! Megumi!” We all jumped into the paint blobs assigned and landed on the respective shapes in the lock designs. The hands moved to 12 o’ clock. We grabbed the transmitter, headed into the tunnel indicated, and found a compass pointing at 3 o’ clock already.

“Wunderbar!” (Wonderful!) cheered Lukas. We went down that tunnel and entered the room. We looked around to see if there could be something to make a compass. Wyldstyle’s Master Builder senses were tingling and so she constructed one out of a snake statue, a pair of lanterns, and some sort of altar. Once finished, the hands were made so that left, was yellow, right was red, and the circle was blue. Chroma discs were already set up.

“Chroma Keystone, activate!” announced Wyldstyle. “Chroma lock, reveal! Chroma! Yellow! Tanisha! Chroma! Red! Gandalf! Chroma! Blue! Livia!” They jumped into the paint blobs assigned while Lex Luthor screamed he would find Chen again. The painted ones landed on the respective shapes in the lock designs. The hands moved to 6 o’clock. We headed down into the tunnel and entered a room where another compass was pointing at 9 o’ clock.

“This is becoming easy,” muttered Hongo with a little worry. We went down that tunnel and found another room with another compass pointing at 12 o’ clock.

“I sense a trap,” mused Emily.

“Recommendations?” I asked. Emily smiled.

“Spring the trap,” she said. I agreed and led the group up the tunnel. We entered a room with a ton of skeletons and an altar with something on it. Wyldstyle smiled.

“Another Keystone!” she cheered. This keystone had four symbols on it. The top was a red circle with three lines protruding from the top, giving the appearance of fire. The left symbol was a small blue lightning bolt. The right one was a green circle with a line going up and a smaller diagonal line on the top line, making it look like an apple. The bottom symbol was a dark blue circle with three short lines on the bottom and separated from the circle. While Wyldstyle faced us at the altar, there was a hissing noise, like a snake.

“Behind you!” warned Gandalf. Wyldstyle turned to see a giant, spikey, purple snake lifting its head! A portal opened above it and deposited a man in reddish robes with a staff on top of the snake.

“Did you think my master would make it so easy for you, Gandalf?” asked the man.

“Saruman the White, have you abandoned all reason?!” protested Gandalf.

“Not at all, my friend, Gandalf the Grey,” replied Saruman, “for I am Saruman the Wise, Saruman Ring-maker, Saruman of Many Colors!” He discarded the reddish robes and revealed new robes that shimmered and changed hue with his movements. It was dazzling to the eye.

“I liked your white robes better, Sharkey,” hissed Michael as he spat the name Saruman took in the Scouring of the Shire at the end of the original book series by Tolkien.

“I see you know some Orcish tongue, my young lad,” said Saruman. “Why else would you alter the word ‘sharkû’? In any case, white serves as a beginning. White cloth may be dyed! The white page can be overwritten; and the white light can be broken!”

“In which case, it is no longer white,” argued Gandalf, “and he that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom!”

“Spare me your lectures, Gandalf!” snarled Saruman. “I have no use for them!” Batman was unimpressed by Saruman’s mode of transportation.

“A giant snake, is that all?” taunted the Dark Knight. Gandalf, Wyldstyle and I tried, unsuccessfully, to get Batman to stop taunting Saruman. “I think you’ll find we’re tougher than you expect!” continued Batman. The snake lashed out, destroying the altar and grabbing the Keystone.

“Then I’ll make sure he chews properly,” replied Saruman as he took the Keystone from the snake’s mouth and fastened it to its upper jaw. Saruman then bound us in magic chains. Hongo managed to wiggle out and hurl a stone at Saruman. He lost concentration as the chains disappeared. “Very well!” snapped Saruman. “Element of water, snake!” The snake started firing ice blasts at us! I then got an idea and asked Wyldstyle to help me construct three ramps for the Batmobile to launch itself at the snake. Once I had transformed into Kamen Rider Royal and activated Wyldstyle Steel, we set to work. “Element of fire, Saruman!” Saruman started firing fireballs at us. I only wish they were the candy. The ramps were built as the snake stopped in front of the middle one.

“Your mistake!” called Batman. He got into the Batmobile and launched it at the snake, stunning it. Saruman tried to get it to move again while Batman saw a transmitter. He also noticed three giant snake heads with open mouths behind Saruman. “Been a while,” he muttered. “Shift Keystone, activate! Cyan, in the mouth of the left snake head statue! Yellow, in the mouth of the middle snake head statue! Magenta, in the mouth of the right snake head statue!” The portals opened. “Shift! Batman! Yellow!” Batman went through the portal and appeared behind Saruman. The evil wizard had regained control of the snake as he got it to turn around and bite the platform Batman was on. It missed the Dark Knight, so Batman and Saruman dueled. Batman had managed to get Saruman to hit the snake, making it scream in pain and destroying the platform. I noticed that the Keystone was getting loose.

“Keep at it!” I encouraged.

“You cannot win!” shouted Saruman as he cast magic chains at us. “My master will rule all! I have seen it!”

“Saruman, come to your senses!” called Gandalf as he made a counter spell to break the chains and free us. “No victory can be had siding with evil!” He mounted Shadowfax and charged up the left ramp. Shadowfax’s hooves went deep into the snake’s head, stunning it again. “Batman, the cyan portal, if you please!” said Gandalf.

“Shift! Gandalf! Yellow!” declared Batman. Gandalf landed inside the left snake head and cast a magic bolt to the snake. It turned around and sank its fangs into the platform. Saruman and Gandalf dueled for a while in close quarters.

“I implore you, stop this madness, Saruman!” pleaded Gandalf. He then smacked his staff into the snake’s head, causing it to reel in pain and destroy the platform. The Keystone was that much looser.

“I’ll take it from here!” I called.

“Not a chance, little girl!” countered Saruman as magic chains wrapped around me.

“I’m 5’5”, you jerk!” I shouted as I broke the chains with raw strength.

“I thought average height in Japan was 5’2”?” asked Richard.

“Only among 17 year olds!” I hissed. “I’m 19, in case you forgot!” I mounted my horse.

“Element of lightning, snake!” announced Saruman. The snake fired an electric bolt at my horse. I suffered some minor electrical burns, but my horse shorted out.

“Shadowfax,” called Gandalf, “assist Princess Megumi!” Shadowfax ran up to me and had me mount him.

“I know this is a quote from Gandalf’s future,” I whispered to the horse, “but run, Shadowfax! Show us the meaning of haste!” The Lord of Horses understood that and responded by charging as fast as he could up the right ramp. He fell short, but my fist landed right on the snake’s snout! Surprisingly, the blow I delivered had enough strength to stun a creature its size. Shadowfax landed on his hooves and ran back to Batman. “I think there’s only one portal left,” I observed.

“If you could get off the horse,” requested Batman. I dismounted Shadowfax. “Shift! Megumi! Magenta!” I jumped into the portal and landed on the last platform.

“I shall not allow this!” boomed Saruman. “Element of earth, Saruman!” Rocks started flying at me. Some hit me, but I managed to hurl some at the snake. It roared in pain and destroyed the statue. I fell, battered and bruised, but alive. Saruman was thrown off unceremoniously screaming “NO!” He landed on the floor, then was sucked up by a portal which deposited Hiro.

“Wizards!” scoffed Hiro. “Can’t do anything right!” The snake was still thrashing around in pain.

“MOVE!” shouted Wyldstyle.

“No need to tell us twice!” confirmed Oren as we all ran back a safe distance.

“Stop, you stupid beast!” ordered Hiro. Not a smart thing to say in the long run as the snake bashed him and its head into a wall, making a hole and knocking the Keystone off. Batman grabbed it as we charged into the new room to see Lex Luthor’s mech looming menacingly over a terrified Master Chen. Chen made a move to grab the staff, but Lex Luthor didn’t let him get it. Lex then grabbed the staff himself. He then commanded his mech to raise his foot over Chen with the intent to squish him.

“Hand the staff over, Lex!” hissed Batman.

“No, don’t do that!” called Hiro as he came running up behind us, holding his jaw.

“I had no intention of doing so,” replied Lex. “In fact, Batman, come and get it!”

“With pleasure!” announced Batman. All Vortex Riders then got their i.d tags, Oren got out the durian Lockseed, and Hongo struck his Henshin pose.

“Rider…” called Hongo.

“HENSHIN!” we all shouted. Hongo leapt over Lex and formed his suit, the Vortex Riders jumped into our respective circles, and Oren opened his Lockseed.

“DURIAN!” it announced. Oren put it into his belt, the Sengoku Driver, and closed it. “Lock on!” After a guitar riff, he sliced the lock open. “DURIAN ARMS! MISTER DANGEROUS!” The metal durian landed on his head, formed the undersuit, and unfolded to reveal Kamen Rider Bravo!

“Catchphrases everyone!” I called.

“Kamen Rider Outback! Better watch your backs, mates!”

“Kamen Rider Claw! My weapons shall turn you into ribbons!”

“Kamen Rider Swing! I’ll be taking your legs!”

“Kamen Rider Hunt! I shall always get my prey!”

“Kamen Rider Clash! A duel with me shall end in your defeat!”

“Kamen Rider Climb! Mountains are a warrior’s best friend!”

“Kamen Rider Gallop! My riding skills are unmatched!”

“Kamen Rider Sengoku! You shall get a taste of Feudal Japan!”

“Kamen Rider Royal! Evil will ultimately bow to me!”

“Kamen Rider Guard! None shall harm my friends, family, and lady!”

“Kamen Rider Touché! En Garde, thing of evil!”

“Kamen Rider Zhànshì! Try and stop my quest!”

“Kamen Rider Arch! My skills outdo Robin Hood!”

“Kamen Rider Kämpfer! Your defeat will be certain at my hands!”

“Kamen Rider Seeker! It’s not gold I seek, but your end!”

“Kamen Rider Battle! For friends and family, I shall be victorious!”

“I am Gandalf the Grey! Prepare to see some fireworks!”

“I’m Wyldstyle! Time to think outside the box!”

“I’m Batman! The Dark Knight rises!”

“I am the start of a group of warriors! I am Kamen Rider!”

“Catchphrases, then?” quizzed Bravo. “Very well. Kamen Rider Bravo! Now, let us begin…the pageant of death and destruction!” We all stared at Bravo.

“Er…needs work,” I gulped nervously.

“If you’re doing catchphrases…” began Hiro as he loaded his guns with his i.d tag.

“Then it’s only fair you give us the same courtesy,” finished the Rogue Driver.

“Henshin!” announced Hiro as he fired. He ran and spun into the circle, becoming Kamen Rider Rogue. “Kamen Rider Rogue. Stand and deliver!” Lex considered his next move.

“Eh, why not,” shrugged the head of LexCorp. “I am Lex Luthor! No one can defeat my impenetrable power suit!”

“And so begins your downfall,” I mused.

“Not quite,” argued Rogue. He brought out two spheres. “Turretorg, Discornia! I summon you!” Turretorg came back with another monster sporting a feminine build. It had some sort of slinky strapless dress done up in a disco ball fashion, a large, blonde afro, blue disco balls for eyes, large red lips, puffy sleeves done up like disco balls, and silver platform shoes. The main body was silver. I presume this was Discornia. It spoke with a high soprano voice.

“Oh, how cute!” it squeed. I tried to get the ringing out of my ears. “Look at all these little backup dancers!”

“Perhaps, my lady,” mused Turretorg, “but…”

“My lady?!” I interrupted. “Hold on, there’s such a concept as gender among you monsters?” Discornia shrieked in horror as Turretorg growled.

“Of course, there is!!” shouted Turretorg. “I’m a male!! Discornia is a female!! Can’t you tell?!”

“I never make it a habit to assume gender by appearance,” I replied.

“Well, can’t fault her for that,” mused Discornia. “Not all of us are easily identified by our appearance. Sludgiona is a good example.” She brought out a black staff with a small disco ball on each end. “In any case, it’s time to defeat you and do so with style! Oh, Combatmen! Come here, my treasures!” Shocker Combatmen swarmed us alongside Nova Shocker Combatmen.

“Vortexons, fall in!” barked Turretorg. The Vortexons came through some portals that deposited them very quickly.

“Lexbots, your master needs you!” ordered Lex Luthor. Green robots with a gun arm, a cylinder with a single green light for a head, a three-fingered left hand, and a pair of treads for mobility came forth.

“Slay them!” shouted Hiro.

“We pledge obedience!” obliged Turretorg and Discornia. Discornia twirled her staff and went on the attack. She mainly used it for keeping us at bay while dazzling us with the light show she generated. The Combatmen kept attacking us as Lex fired from the gun arm of his mech and then launched a missile strike. Rogue almost got hit.

“GIVE A GUY SOME WARNING, WILL YOU?!” he shouted. The impact of the missiles made chroma discs fall. Batman and Wyldstyle found the nearby transmitter. Batman decided to make a distraction.

“I’ve taken you down before and I’ll do it again, Lex,” he snapped.

“You can try!” taunted Lex as he continued firing. The gun arm jammed. “Oh, for…I THOUGHT I PATCHED THAT!” He banged on the gun arm to get it to work, turning his back to reveal a Chroma design with all shapes in red.

“Chroma Keystone, activate! Chroma lock, reveal!” called Wyldstyle.

“STOP HER!” shouted Turretorg.

“Not a bright move!” I snapped. I managed to dispatch a good chunk of the enemy forces.

“Chroma! Red! Bravo!” called Wyldstyle. Bravo leapt into the red paint and landed on each shape in the lock design. Lex’s mech started smoking.

“Pardon, Monsieur Luthor,” apologized Bravo, “but you’ve brought this on yourself.” The design on Luthor’s back changed so that the L-shapes were blue and the circle was yellow.

“Chroma! Yellow! Batman! Chroma! Blue! Royal!” announced Wyldstyle.

“Lex, this is low, even for you,” called Batman as we jumped into our respective paint blobs. “Stop this charade!” The chroma lock made Lex’s mech smoke again.

“Will someone get these twits off my back?!” shouted Lex.

“Allow me!” called Discornia in her overly-cutesy voice. She spun clockwise three times, then twirled her staff over her head, and then tossed it, making the disco balls create a light show that almost dazzled us. That allowed Turretorg to give suppressing fire. The design on Lex changed once more with the left L being yellow, the circle being blue, and the right L being red.

“That’s easy!” I announced. Bravo took the right L, I took the circle, and Batman took the left L. The mech was blown back into the wall, making it lose the staff and knocking Lex Luthor silly. Batman caught the staff.

“MUST I CLEAN UP YOUR MESS?!” roared Rogue to Lex. A portal opened near the mech.

“You have failed me, Luthor!” boomed Vortech’s voice from the portal. Lex tried to get his mech to crawl away but was caught by Vortech’s giant hand and dragged inside.

“What…was…that?!” yelped Wyldstyle. The staff vibrated in Batman’s hands.

“I-I-I-I-d-d-d-don’t-t-t-t-kn-n-n-n-o-o-ow!” he managed to get out. The staff then got out of Batman’s hands, floated in the air, and managed to bond with the new Keystone. The upgraded staff then fell to the ground.

“Secure the target!” shouted Turretorg. We all made a mad dash for the staff, but it’s original owner grabbed it first and spun around, trying to club us in the head. It managed to score a hit on Sengoku. My brother wobbled for a bit.

“Nee-san!” I called. “Daijōbu?” (Are you alright?) He then said a snatch of an old Japanese nursery rhyme and fell, cancelling his transformation.

“I think he has a concussion!” responded Guard.

“Allow me,” called Touché. Thank goodness, she has first aid/CPR training. She managed to get Hiroki out of the way and stayed with him while we turned our attention to Master Chen.

“And now…your punishment for cheating!” he snarled.

“You’re still on about that?!” called Battle.

“I say we know who the real cheater is!” supplied Bravo as he swung his swords at Chen.

“I’m gonna use your empty skull for a bowling ball for the embarrassment you’ve caused my forces!” snarled Hiro. Chen jumped to a higher ledge.

“Now, now,” responded Chen, “no need to get violent. I think we all need to COOL OFF! Element of water, Master Chen!” Oh God, more puns! He managed to coat the entire room in ice, so we slipped for a bit while giant ice stalactites fell from the ceiling. Batman saw an opportunity to get near Chen.

“Rogue! Royal! I need your help!” called Batman.

“What?!” snapped Rogue.

“Rogue, our battle may be undecided,” I said to my biological father, “but if we don’t work together, no one will get the staff or the Keystone.” Rogue considered.

“What did you have in mind?” he asked Batman.

“Can you use armor based on us like the Vortex Riders can?” asked Batman.

“Yes, why?” quizzed Rogue.

“Do you have armor based on me?” asked Batman.

“No, why?” pondered Rogue.

“We’re going to climb the stalactites and pull the end towards that wire,” explained Batman as he pointed to a wire that travelled from one end of the room to Chen’s position.

“Then we can hit him!” finished Rogue. “Perfect!” He then leveled his guns at Batman and fired! Batman felt pain but didn’t die. Rogue had made two red semi-circles with Batman’s symbol on it, his version of the Batman i.d tag, I believe. He loaded the new i.d tag into the guns. He then pointed his guns to the side and fired.

“All right! Batman Steel!” announced the Rogue Driver. Rogue’s wardrobe closed on him at both sides before dissolving. His version of Batman Steel had turned the jacket black with a bat wing design and added points to his now black hat. I just put my i.d tag into my belt.

“Batman Steel!” called my belt. After I had changed, we went across the stalactites and fired our grapple guns to yank the ending stalactite towards us. While that was going on, Chen was firing ice blasts at us. When we got on the ending stalactite, we used our weight to tilt it towards the wire. We got on and slid down the wire. Thank goodness we had protective gloves on us. We would have suffered rope burn otherwise. We then ran towards Chen as we landed on his platform. Then the punching began! Chen managed to score some hits on us, but we barely felt them. I then punched him in the face, which prompted him to hurl us off.

“Ow!” he cried. “That one hurt! You know, you could just let me win. I mean, would it cost you the EARTH?! Element of earth, Master Chen!”

“Not another pun!” snarled Turretorg.

“And just when you proposed!” protested Discornia. I would have commented on the fact that Turretorg intends to marry someone, but I had more pressing matters on my mind. The ice disappeared as a set of ramps of stone with vines tangling everything. Boulders were rolling down towards us!

“What the heck!” yelped Wyldstyle.

“Indy moment!” I shouted. What I wouldn’t give to see Dr. Jones in this situation. The snake motif everywhere and the giant snake Saruman rode on might have made him shake though. A Shocker Combatman patted the shoulder of a Shocker Nova Combatman and a Vortexon and pointed at something under the ramps. After a conversation of “Yee!” from both Combatmen and electronic warbling from the Vortexon, they spoke to Turretorg and Rogue. Somehow, they can understand Combatmen and Vortexons.

“I think that’s a good plan, don’t you, sir?” asked Turretorg.

“An excellent plan, one worthy of promotion,” confirmed Rogue. “I’ll arrange your promotions with your bosses.” That got the Combatmen and Vortexon excited. Their compatriots grumbled.

“What did they say?” asked Gandalf.

“They noticed nooks and crannies in the walls supporting the ramps,” explained Turretorg. “They’re big enough for one of us to fit in.”

“They also noticed that the boulders are falling in a set time,” continued Rogue.

“I get it,” realized Wyldstyle. “Hide in the nooks and crannies as we go up and calculate the timing of the boulders.”

“I think it’s a good idea, don’t you guys?” I asked. I then noticed something. “Wait, where’s Zhànshì and Kämpfer?”

“OVER THERE!” called Discornia. Those two were already on the ramps, dodging the boulders on their way up! They managed to get up there and land some hits before Chen hurled them off.

“Let’s HEAT things up a bit, shall we?” joked Chen.

“Let me guess, fire,” I muttered.

“Element of fire, Master Chen!” announced Chen. The whole room was flooded in lava! My thoughts headed to Touché and Hiroki as the heat could NOT be good for a concussion. Thankfully, Touché, who had cancelled her transformation, had gotten Hiroki to higher ground and kept him in a cool, dark place. Thank goodness. Lava’s the last thing I would wish on anyone, even Rogue. Rocky platforms had appeared in the lava, giving Batman an idea.

“Is the transmitter intact?” he asked.

“Got it right here!” replied Wyldstyle.

“Shift Keystone, activate!” announced Batman. “Cyan, on the platform near us! Yellow, on the platform near Chen’s right! Magenta, on the platform near Chen’s left!”

“What have you got in mind?” I asked.

“We’re going to use someone to confuse Chen by going through different portals,” whispered Batman.

“Let me do it,” called Guard. I nodded that it was okay.

“Shift! Guard! Cyan!” announced Batman. Guard went to the cyan portal. Chen fired some fire balls at him, but Batman shifted him to yellow. Chen retargeted Guard, but he ended up in the magenta portal. He then jumped from the platform and whacked Chen on the back of his head. Chen then hurled him back to us.

“Ha! Good hit!” praised Chen. That’s it, he’s on the end of his rope. “Well, well, this is quite a battle, eh? I would even call it ELECTRIFYING! Element of lightning, Master Chen!” The lava disappeared and was replaced with water. Chen dipped his currently zappy staff into the water, electrifying the whole place.

“Any ideas?” I asked.

“The chroma discs are back,” replied Wyldstyle. “There’s also a design up there,” she pointed to a chroma design held by a hanging snake statue with a red circle, a blue left L shape, and a right yellow L-shape, “but there’s still the matter of the electrified water.”

“The Batmobile can handle some electricity,” explained Batman.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“The Joker tried to put 1,000,000 volts into it,” replied Batman. “It only served to power it.”

“Dang, that’s a tough car you’ve got!” I complimented.

“Chroma Keystone, activate!” announced Wyldstyle. “Chroma lock, reveal!” Thank goodness Batman’s driving the Batmobile because the lock design appeared in the middle of the floor. “Chroma! Yellow! Batman!” Batman drove the Batmobile into the yellow paint and hit the right L-shape. “Chroma! Blue! Batman!” Batman drove through the blue paint and hit the left L-shape. “Chroma! Red! Batman!” Batman drove through the red paint and hit the circle. The lights hit the statue, making it fall and knock Chen to the ground, making him drop the staff, cancelling out the electric water. Rogue, Turretorg, and Discornia made a dash for the staff and Keystone.

“No!” I shouted. “RIDER ROYAL KICK! I kicked Rogue in the head, stunning him for a bit.

“DURIAN SQUASH!” announced Bravo’s Lockseed as he made a wave of energy from his crest which hit Turretorg.

“RIDER KICK!” called Ichigō as he kicked Discornia. Batman grabbed the Keystone while Gandalf took the staff.

“It’s a little gaudy,” muttered the wizard, “but it’s always good to have a spare.”

“We should keep them separate,” suggested Batman. I nodded in agreement. Turretorg and Discornia were sparking, about ready to explode as most monsters do in Kamen Rider, from what Hiroki told me. Speaking of which, Hiroki was coming back to us with Emily helping him.

“What did I miss?” he asked.

“You haven’t missed anything,” replied Rogue as he recovered from my kick. He saw the sparking monsters. “Turretorg, Discornia, return!” They turned back into their sphere forms and flew to Rogue’s hands He put them away for later use. “Now, as for…” He was hit on the head by Gandalf and lost consciousness, canceling his transformation. A portal opened.

“And now you’ve failed!” boomed Vortech’s voice as his giant hand retrieved Hiro’s unconscious body. Another portal opened and sucked up Chen’s body. I didn’t feel a sense of dread, so it was probably ours. Chen must have been returned to his seat up top.

“Flying monkeys, giant robots, ninjas,” mused Wyldstyle, “shall we find out what’s next?”

“May I join you?” asked Bravo as we canceled our transformations.

“Go right ahead!” I agreed. We mounted got on our vehicles, bar Hiroki being put on Emily’s horse since she wanted to keep an eye on him. Oren had admitted that this was his first time riding a horse. We all charged through the portal with Gandalf falling off Shadowfax while trying to ride with two staffs in hand. Batman’s grappling hook wrapped around the Grey Wizard as he was taken into the portal. We all made our way back to Vorton!

Categories
Kamen Rider Vortex Kamen Rider Vortex Chapters

Chapter 11

I had tossed and turned in the real world. In the dream I was having, I was trying to explain myself. The corpses of my friends and family said that I had made a mistake in letting Hiro live. “No!” I said. “He had to live! Don’t you understand?!”

“You allowed him to kill us!” accused Hongo’s corpse

“You never killed him when you had the chance!” accused Gandalf’s corpse.

“You had numerous chances!” said Batman’s corpse.

“My own sister failed to protect the multiverse!” said Hiroki’s body.

“There is no hope now!” said Richard’s body. “It’s all thanks to you!” In a swift movement, his hand grabbed my face. I could feel myself decomposing slowly and deliberately. “You will join us as the restless dead!”

“NOO!” I screamed. I woke up before the decay could reach my jaw. Someone burst in at my outburst! I grabbed my sword and pointed it at the intruder.

“My dear young lady,” exclaimed the intruder, “put that thing down! I am not the enemy!” The shape then became recognizable. I smoothed out my nightdress as I lowered my sword.

“Gandalf, I must apologize,” I managed to get out between my gasps. I had managed to steady my breathing.

“I can see that something haunts your dreams,” observed Gandalf. No use in hiding my distress from a wizard. I sat down on my bed and recounted the dream. “I must admit,” gulped Gandalf, “I’m amazed my dead body would ever say that to you.”

“Gandalf, did I make a mistake?” I asked.

“In what way?” pondered the Istari.

“Letting Hiro live,” I elaborated. “In the long run, it may prove a pity that I allowed him to continue.”

“Pity?” quizzed Gandalf. “It was pity that influenced your decision. Unless, of course, my eyes deceive me.”

“No. maybe not,” I replied. “But what will that mean in the long run?”

“Perhaps he may be rehabilitated,” mused Gandalf. The thing is, his words echoed what was in my heart. I had always hoped Hiro could repent before his end.

“This whole business has me in a fluster, and I’m not used to flustering,” I sighed. “Lately, I’ve had moments where I wish I had never heard of this nonsense!”

“So do all who live to see such times,” replied Gandalf kindly, “but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” I smiled.

“You said that to Frodo in the Mines,” I recalled. I had calmed down at that point. “Thank you.”

“For what?” asked Gandalf, pretending not to know what he had done for me.

“Helping me settle my mind,” I explained. “I’m going back to sleep.”

“Of course,” said Gandalf as he headed to my door. “Good night.”

“‘Night,” I mumbled. I drifted back to sleep. My dreams were much more pleasant as I stood against Hiro. He was taken to some unknown court. My friends and I had testified against him. No one spoke on his behalf. While his lawyer was fierce, Hiro was found guilty and sentenced to live alone in a prison of unknown design. I woke up later, stretching and rubbing my eyes. I then went into the usual routine of getting into my dress.

  • First, floof the skirts.
  • Second, step into the skirts.
  • Third, pull on the strings at the sides to close the skirts around my waist.
  • Fourth, get on my knees and smooth my dress to give it the full circular shape.
  • Fifth, lean forward, then back, then left, and then right.
  • Sixth, get up and pull the shirt part over my head.
  • Seventh, after getting my hair free from the neck, tilt my head into each sleeve.
  • Eight, slide the panniers over my head until they cover the strings at my waist.
  • Nine, twirl five times to let my skirts fly.
  • Ten, put the tiara on and curtsey to my reflection.

Call me superstitious, but I always do this routine to bring me luck. I stepped out of the room to see everyone assembled in the cafeteria. After several good mornings, a grunt substituted Batman’s good morning, we got our breakfast. I had requested that Emily retrieve Elphaba so she could join us. Emily went to the brig and got the former Wicked Witch. Elphaba saw some glares. “How hospitable,” she snarked.

“Elphaba Thropp,” I began, “given the atrocities you’ve committed against the Winkies and Flying Monkeys, we had a debate on whether or not you should live.”

“What?!” yelped Elphaba.

“However,” I continued, “as leader, I had decided against your second death.”

“Very generous,” chuckled Elphaba with a relieved smile.

“Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness,” I snapped. “You have a long way to go before we consider you a teammate. Given that there are no replicators in your dimension, I assume you had help last night when you had a meal.”

“That would be me,” explained the mysterious voice.

“Work closely with the voice to figure out this mess,” I directed.

“I’ll do what I can,” obliged Elphaba.

“Good,” I nodded. “In the meantime, the Vortex Riders and I are off to find another Keystone. Speaking of which, who’s in control of the Chroma Keystone?”

“That would be me,” called Wyldstyle as she held up her gauntlet. She put it on her left hand. “In a bizarre form of behavior for me, I’ve read through the instructions.”

“Won’t hurt in this case,” I said. “Everyone, mount your steeds!” We had gotten on our respective vehicles and got ready to charge through the portal again. Elphaba was talked through manual operations.

“Good to go!” she called. “Your destination is dimension N-1-N-J-A-G-0!”

“CHARGE!” I shouted We charged into the portal.


The location in that dimension happened to be a gladiatorial arena. An afro wearing guitar dude in 60’s disco clothes was trying to get away from a guy in punk clothing and a glowing purple sword. He turned to the man in the box, who sported a large snake skull on his head with a long purple fake spikey snake around it, a mustache and goatee, thick eyebrows, sideburns, and hair, all black, and dark red robes with gold and black markings. Apparently, he’s from the Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu line Lego had set up. From what Haitao told us, the guy in the box is called Master Chen, a villain of the series. He had given the order to the punk man to finish the guitar man. As the punk man was about to lay the finishing blow on the guitar man, we fell on top in a tangled mess. Once we disentangled, we looked around. “Now where are we?” asked Wyldstyle. Another portal had opened, depositing a Japanese man. He wore feminine clothes and makeup and sported a muscular build, but unlike Emmanuel, he preferred pants. He dusted himself off with the wrap covering his bald head and looked around.

“An arena?” asked the man in a slight French accent. He smiled. “Well, my horoscope said I would find intrigue in new places and an arena will certainly develop such intrigue.”

“Oren Pierre Alfonzo!” cheered Hiroki.

“Who?” I asked.

“He’s one of the secondary riders in Kamen Rider Gaim,” explained Hiroki. “That fruit themed Kamen Rider show I mentioned.”

“I met those riders,” supplied Hongo, “though we didn’t make the best first impression.” He was interrupted by Chen’s laughing.

“What a delightful surprise!” he said in a thick Japanese accent. “More competitors for my tournament of elements!” We all looked at each other.

“I’d say it’s time for a show!” called Oren.

“Did you arrange this, Klaus?” asked Chen to his aide. Klaus shook his head. “No matter,” assured Chen. “I sense great power in them. Power that will soon be mine.”

“You may try,” called Emmanuel, “and you will fail.”

“Oren-san,” quizzed Hongo, “do you have your belt on you?”

“Sadly, no, it was destroyed,” sighed Oren.

“What’s that in your pocket?” asked Hiroki. Oren arched an eyebrow, then reached into his pocket to reveal a device in a similar shape to ours but lacked the blue circle and had a knife at a diagonal on the right with a faceplate on the left. The faceplate looked almost like a gladiator’s helmet facing the knife. He blinked in surprise, then smiled.

“Well now,” he chuckled as he put it to his waist. A yellow belt strap appeared and fastened the device to his waist. “And just to finish things off,” said Oren as he pulled a silver padlock out with a durian on it. For those who don’t know, a durian is a green, spikey fruit that has a very strong smell, a horribly strong smell. “Shall we entertain the masses?” asked Oren as he held the lock up.

“Do we look like gladiators to you?!” I quizzed.

“Come on!” protested Emmanuel as he got out his i.d tag. “Where’s your entertainer’s spirit?”

“But, we shall require an opponent,” called Oren. He pointed to Chen. “Monsieur, could you provide us with one?”

“As you wish,” chuckled Chen. He turned to a guy in a jogging suit about to eat a hot dog. “You! Bring our guests…up to speed!”

“Yes. Master Chen,” confirmed the jogger. Did I say jogger? I meant runner with speed that would give a certain video game mascot pause! I had a feeling Chen would be making puns during our stay. The runner circled us a few times before ringing a gong.

“Master Griffin Turner, element of speed, you’re up,” called Chen. “Let’s see how our new contenders fare!”

“Permettez-moi,” said Oren. He then looked at his lock. “Hen…shin.” After he said that, he sharply turned his head to Master Turner and opened the lock.

“DURIAN!” announced the lock as a ring of light around the durian symbol flashed on each syllable. After that happened, a zipper opened a circle above him, letting a large, metal durian with a large spike on each side float above Oren. He put the lock onto the belt and closed it. “Lock on!” called the lock. At that point, a guitar riff started looping. Oren threw his hands above his head, crossed them, then stepped back, putting his left hand down while his right went across his front. As he pulled the hand back, it pulled the knife down, revealing the inside of a durian and a spikey sword. The metal durian landed on his shoulders, covering his head and forming a neon green suit with purple highlights. The durian split into armor pieces. The top part with the two big spikes became shoulder armor. The front part went down to reveal a silver t shape on the other side, becoming the chest unit. The back simply swung down. The helmet had a spike on either side. The eyes evoked the interior flesh of a durian with the rim of the left eye having a crack. He had a Red Roman Crest running from the top of his head to the nape of his neck. As it unfolded, Oren stepped forward, opening his hands to allow a large, spiky, green sword to appear in each hand. “DURIAN ARMS!” announced the lock on the belt. “MISTER DANGEROUS!” A starting bell rang five times with a simulated applause giving a cheer.

“And thus, Kamen Rider Bravo appears!” cheered Hiroki. While the transformation for Bravo was going on, Turner was running around us.

“What is this, some kind of bonus round?” he quizzed. “No sweat. No one can match my speed!”

“Are you sure?” I asked. I lifted my skirts up and stuck out my leg. Turner moved to attack, but he didn’t see the leg that tripped him. The audience didn’t like that, so someone threw something at us. The impact revealed a blue disc. Wyldstyle’s gauntlet buzzed.

“Keep it up, guys!” encouraged Wyldstyle. Turner ran a few more laps and then charged at Wyldstyle who simply put her fist out, allowing his face to collide with it. He got back up as another object flew at Wyldstyle. She dodged, leaving the object to reveal a yellow disc. Another three laps and Bravo sidestepped, letting Turner trip over his feet. An object was hurled from the crowd once again as it revealed a red disc. Gandalf had managed to find something in the lake in the center. It was a snake statue holding a picture of something in its mouth. The picture was the same as the markings on Keystone device the Joker used to power that robot, a circle with two L-shapes facing each other. Unlike the Keystone device, however, all the shapes were in yellow. The snake had a Keystone power transmitter on it with markings from both the Shift and Chroma Keystones, so Wyldstyle decided to put her powers to the test. “Chroma Keystone, activate!” she said. The circles let a blob of paint come out of each other and hover in the air. “Chroma! Yellow! Wyldstyle!” She jumped into the yellow paint and was covered in the stuff. She then showed her left palm to the picture. “Chroma Lock, reveal!” she said. White lines formed to make the same shapes as the painting. She then jumped first into the right L-shape, then the left L-shape, and finally the circle. As she jumped on each shape, the shapes on the picture held by the statue glowed yellow. Colored beams of red, yellow, and blue light destroyed the picture. The fragments then grew and changed, collecting at a single point to become a panel that can rotate while being pushed. It connected to the snake statue via gears. As the paint slid off Wyldstyle’s body, leaving no trace of its existence behind on her, she pushed the panel to make the statue raise up until it could be raised no more. Apparently, it was in the ground so low because it was so top heavy. It fell to the ground and shattered. The only intact thing was the pillar it was built around.

“Let me have a turn,” called Xiomara as she drew her i.d tag. “Henshin!” She turned into Kamen Rider Seeker once again, surprising Bravo once she revealed herself. She then swapped her i.d tag for the Wyldstyle one.

“Wyldstyle Steel!” announced her belt as the wardrobe changed her armor. She managed to see parts and construct a treadmill with the pillar being the main roller part and the snake head being the control panel. Turner ran onto it.

“Whoa!” he yelped. “Who put that there?” The treadmill went faster and faster. “I can’t stop! Wait, I’m so fast, I can outrun this thing! Ha ha! Sure, I can!” He went faster, but his speech indicated he was getting tired. The treadmill started sparking. “I…can…run…*gasp*…no…getting…tired…noo!” He was then thrown into a wall as the treadmill exploded. Chen seemed enraged by this.

“Only ONE can remain!” he declared. He pressed a button on his chair which released a trap door, depositing Turner into the pit below. “Very creative, though,” admitted Chen. “Shall we say… ‘best of three’?” A man in a moustache-goatee, a maroon turban with a gold stud on the front, a maroon robe, and dark brown pants floated towards us. “Master Gravis,” said Chen, “element of gravity. He’ll turn your world upside-down!” Gravis used his powers to lift three stone platforms and turn the ones on his sides to be running vertically instead of horizontally while being suspended in the air. Batman checked his keystone gauntlet. Thankfully, the transmitter didn’t fall back in when the statue fell apart, so Batman could still use his powers.

“Shift Keystone, activate!” he announced. “Cyan, on the platform to my left! Yellow, on the platform in the middle! Magenta, on the platform to my right!” The portals appeared as Gravis hurled rocks at us as he stood in front of the Cyan portal. “Let’s see,” said Batman as he looked at Bravo. “Shift! Bravo! Cyan!” Bravo was taken by surprise as he was sucked in.

“Help!” he yelped. He appeared behind Gravis and whacked him on the back of the head. That made Gravis lose concentration on that platform, so it crumbled. Gravis floated to the right most platform.

“Shift! Bravo! Magenta!” directed Batman. Bravo, with a better understanding of Batman’s plan, jumped into the portal and reappeared behind Gravis. He swung his swords at Gravis as the master of gravity hurled rocks at him. Sadly, Gravis lost, making him lose concentration on the platform, allowing it to crumble. He floated to the middle platform. “Shift! Bravo! Yellow!” Bravo landed on the last remaining platform.

“Lifetime of Master Chen noodles to the winner!” announced Chen.

“Voila!” called Bravo to Gravis. He brought the knife on his belt down once. The lock glowed.

“DURIAN SQUASH!” announced the lock. A wave of light started forming on the crest of Bravo’s helmet. He swung his head, making the light knock Gravis silly. He fell to the ground, along with the platform. This time, Chen was intrigued.

“Most interesting and entertaining!” he cheered as he jumped in his seat. “Guard,” he ordered as he pressed the trapdoor button on his chair, “bring me more popcorn!” Gravis tumbled into the pit below as some of Chen’s cronies came into the ring. I noticed that an image appeared dirty, an image like the one’s the Chroma Keystone uses.

“Guys,” I called, “help me brush this off! Wyldstyle, is the Chroma Keystone still going?”

“No, sorry,” sighed Wyldstyle. “It switched off when I built that treadmill for Master Turner. On top of that, the circle faded away.”

“I see a new yellow circle in the mouth of that snake over the door,” observed Gandalf. He opened the snake’s mouth and got it down. Wyldstyle’s pocket started buzzing.

“Let me help!” called Seeker, still in Wyldstyle Steel. She pulled out another relic detector and found something that a batarang could knock down. “Batman! Michael! Help me out!”

“On it!” confirmed Michael. “Henshin!” After he formed the suit, he swapped the i.d tag for the Batman one along with Seeker.

“Batman Steel!” called the belts. The three had tossed their batarangs and knocked down a blue circle. Wyldstyle and Hongo had jumped up and used their combined weight to bring down the red circle from the side of the door. I had fully brushed the image off to reveal two yellow L-shapes and a red circle.

“Chroma Keystone, activate!” announced Wyldstyle. The circles suspended their respective paint blobs at her command. “Chroma lock, reveal!” The design appeared again in glowing lines of white. “Bravo, do you mind painting yourself red?”

“Not at all,” assured Bravo.

“Chroma! Red! Bravo!” announced Wyldstyle. Bravo jumped into the red paint blob and then jumped into the circle. “Chroma! Yellow! Richard! Richard jumped into the yellow paint, then jumped into each L-shape. The red, blue, and yellow streams of light hit the picture, destroying it, allowing something to burst through. It appeared to be a crane with the main body done up like a snake head. It was apparently alive as it roared and snapped at us. It was restrained by the door’s red frame. That’s when a man in black armor, a black helmet, a full beard, and large metal gauntlets in the shape of fists came into the pit.

“Now,” purred Chen, “for your final foe: Master Karlof, element of metal! Now’s your chance to prove your…well…METTLE!” That was awful!

“Ha!” laughed Karlof in a thick Russian accent, thicker than Mikhail’s father. “Is no problem for Karlof! Karlof crush you!”

“Okay, if we can drop the stupid fake Russian accent!” called Mikhail. “My accent is better anyways!”

“Nyet! Mine is!” argued Irina.

“We have the same accent!” protested Mikhail.

“Mine’s softer, therefore more enjoyable!” argued Irina.

“Are you kidding?!” countered Mikhail. “It needs to be hard, to show a Russian’s strength!”

“Can we save it?!” I snapped. Wyldstyle looked at the snake crane.

“Ooh, when master builds go wrong,” she commented. She got an idea. “Guys, aim for the arch Karlof’s on!”

“On it!” confirmed Bravo. He moved the knife on his belt down twice.

“DURIAN AU LAIT!” announced the lock. Bravo then swung his swords, throwing giant, energy based durians at the arch.

“Un! Deux! Trois!” called Bravo as he swung three times. It destroyed the arch, releasing the snake crane…er…wrecking ball. The ball on the machine dropped, insert ball-dropping joke here, which gave Wyldstyle room to use the remains of the arch to her advantage. Once they turned into Lego bricks, she made a magnet out of them.

“Metal Power!” boasted Karlof as he turned his entire body into silver metal. Gandalf had lifted the new magnet onto the cable the wrecking ball was on. Batman and Lukas got to the new snake electro-magnet’s controls and raised the magnet into the air. We taunted Karlof to come near the magnet, which worked well. Batman pressed the button and turned it on. Karlof was caught in the magnetic field, so he powered down his metal skin, but his gauntlets were still metal, so he was lifted off the ground.

“You…you…you cheated!” shouted Chen.

“Er, WE cheated?!” quizzed Bravo, indicating Karlof’s prison and taking off the durian lock.

“Lock off,” announced the lock as the suit and armor disappeared and revealed Oren Pierre Alfonzo.

“Nobody cheats in my tournament, NOBODY!” shrieked Chen as he slammed his fist on the trapdoor button. A trapdoor opened near us. No one fell through this time. Chen pressed another button, letting on of his guards in his box fall through. Another one dropped another guard. He kept pressing buttons and dropping guards. As that was going on, Wyldstyle started reading a newspaper, Batman looked at his batarang, considering upgrading it, Gandalf ate an apple and tossed it into a trapdoor that opened near him, and Hiroki and Oren explained what the concept behind the lock was. Apparently it’s called a Lockseed. It’s made by holding a fruit from an extradimensional forest called Helheim when you wear the belt Oren used, the Sengoku Driver. It has three finishing moves. Squash is used mainly to perform a fruit themed Rider Kick or charges up the armor, or Arms, to use an attack. Au Lait is mainly an Arms weapon attack, a stronger version of Squash. Last, but not least, the Sparking finisher gives the rider full finisher potential or folds the Arms into its fruit, seed, nut, or berry form to boost the defense of the Rider. Oren admitted that he never unlocked the Sparking function of the Durian Lockseed. The organic fruit version of the Lockseeds, the Helheim fruit, can change a person if eaten on its own. The person turns into a mindless monster called an Inves, which eats Helheim fruits and go after Lockseed users. There are two main types of Lockseeds, the silver Lockseeds that someone like Oren uses, and the clear blue Energy Lockseeds, used in a different belt called the Genesis Driver. Oren was about to talk about his past when a portal opened to deposit a giant mech suit with a bald man driving the thing. The suit was green and had purple trim. The pilot turned to Chen.

“The staff!” he demanded. “Hand it over!” Chen looked at the rather gaudy staff in his possession.

“No!” he snapped. “No more surprise guests!” He used the staff to cast a fireball at the mech, which the pilot just laughed off. “Uh oh! Everyone! Stop him!” ordered Chen. As the guards charged the mech, Chen waved goodbye as his seat went down into the pits below. The mech pilot grit his teeth and crashed through a door, flinging many of Chen’s cronies off. Batman recognized the pilot.

“Whatever Lex Luthor wants with that staff,” deduced the Dark Knight, “it won’t be good. Come on!” We followed Batman up to Chen’s box and followed Chen down the rabbit hole he and his chair made.

Categories
Kamen Rider Vortex Kamen Rider Vortex Chapters

Chapter 10

Once he and Turretorg were retrieved, the Joker spoke to Lord Vortech back on Foundation Prime as he had an ice pack on his head. “And then they stole this shiny thing I found!” he reported.

“Chance meetings and setbacks to your petty pilfering do not concern me,” dismissed Vortech. He pulled out the nuclear rod. “We have the Foundation Element, that is all that matters.”

“Trust me,” warned the Joker, “if you underestimate the Crêped Crusader, you’ll end up getting battered!”

“Like yourself?” snickered Hiro. The Joker growled. Hiro poured himself a glass of wine. “A toast, to a successful mission,” praised Hiro.

“Maybe the rest of us would celebrate,” snarled an angry, male voice, “if we didn’t suffer!” A Japanese man strode up in a black suit with black armor, a gold eagle for a belt buckle, a black cape with a green interior, a gold right hand and left pincer claw, and an elaborate gold and black headdress covering the head aside from the face, making him look like a pharaoh of Egypt, and gold moth antennae on top. He carried a red whip and was flanked by Shocker Combatmen. This was the current leader of Shocker, Ambassador Hell. “Just look at what they’ve done to us!” snarled Ambassador Hell.

“Spare us the melodramatics, Ambassador Hell,” Vortech waved off. “Hiro’s right about the mission being a success.”

“This isn’t about success or failure of a mission!” protested Ambassador Hell. “The Vortexons and the Joker’s minions are creating dissension among the ranks of Shocker! These savages are a threat to this whole operation! They should be confined, restrained even!” He was punched in the face by Turretorg.

“You could not produce a restraint strong enough to hold us Vortexons!” it boasted. It turned to Hiro and Vortech. “In any case, my lords, Comms-Op is receiving a call from Dimension K-A-M-3-N-R-1-D-3-R.

“What is their reason for calling us?” asked Ambassador Hell.

“How did they even get this dimension?!” asked Vortech as he handed the nuclear rod to a Vortexon.

“Unclear, Lord Vortech,” reported Turretorg. “All we can glean is that the caller will only speak to Hiro.”

“Me?” yelped Hiro.

“They requested you by name, my lord,” confirmed Turretorg.

“Patch it here,” ordered Hiro.

“I pledge obedience,” saluted Turretorg. It fiddled with a machine which made a giant view-screen come out of the floor.

“This is Hiro Adachi, Kamen Rider Rogue,” demanded Hiro. “State your business or face destruction.”

“Hiro-san, now really,” purred a feminine voice, “is that any way to address your lover?” A Japanese woman appeared on the screen. She wore a white lab coat with a red arm band on the left arm, a woman’s business suit, with pants, short, black hair, and was flanked by Shocker Combatmen. These had the skeletal motif made in raised silver and had armor on the suits.

“Igura!” cheered Hiro as a smile appeared on his face. “I heard from Ambassador Hell that you were dead!”

“I was,” confirmed Igura, “but I had some help in coming back. Sadly, Urga and Buffal weren’t so lucky.” She heard a snicker and saw Ambassador Hell with a look of amusement on his face. “I’m glad to see that my allies’ permanent death causes amusement for you,” hissed Igura.

“Oh, you misjudge me,” countered Ambassador Hell as he sobered up. “I shall miss them deeply. They were worthy adversaries. In any case, why are you calling?”

“Can you get the person creating portals to send one to my base?” asked Igura.

“Of course, my dear,” obliged Vortech. “Bring your minions as well.”

“Thank you,” said a grateful Igura as she bowed. The transmission ended as a portal opened to let the last remnant of Shocker Nova onto Foundation Prime. Igura broke into a sprint and gave Hiro a hug which he reciprocated. Ambassador Hell rolled his eyes.

“Is that jealousy I detect, Ambassador?” mused Hiro.

“Hiro,” purred Igura, “my men need access to your database. Could we use it?” She gave a sweet smile.

“Absolutely not, traitor!” hissed Ambassador Hell. Igura and Hiro rolled their eyes as they broke their embrace and glared at Ambassador Hell. “That database is for Shocker use only! Traitors like you…”

“What our old boss, Damon, meant, Igura-chan,” interrupted Hiro, “is that our entire database is open to Shocker Nova. Feel free to use it at your leisure, my sweet eagle.” He kissed Igura’s hand.

“Flatterer,” complimented Igura as she walked off to a terminal with a smile on her face.

“Surely, you don’t mean that?!” protested Ambassador Hell. “How did you even know my real name?!”

“That’s unimportant,” dismissed Hiro. “What IS important is that I was most sincere when Igura could use our entire database at her leisure.”

“It builds trust, you see,” supplied Vortech.

“They don’t need to know every single detail about our military operations!” protested Ambassador Hell.

“The decision has already been made,” shrugged Vortech. “In fact, I’ve seen how effective the Nova Combatmen have proven, so from now on, whatever decision you make about Shocker must be submitted to Igura for approval and, if approved, she will submit it to me either in person or through Hiro.”

“That will NOT happen!” declared Ambassador Hell. The tension could be cut with a knife. Vortech then used his powers to lift Ambassador Hell into the air and throw him into the wall. Hiro then walked over to the Shocker Leader.

“I trust that was an unguarded emotional comment,” he whispered, “so I will convince Vortech to ignore it THIS time. Make plans to do exactly as you’re told or I will have you move for practice six feet underground!” Hiro stormed off to help Igura with access to the database while Ambassador Hell looked onwards. “Now,” said Hiro to the Joker as he moved towards the terminal, “where’s the robot? I had it modified to use the Keystone for your use.”

“And a keystone is…?” ventured the Joker.

“Purple shield thing?” explained Hiro, hoping the Joker would catch on.

“Oh, the shiny thing Batman took!” exclaimed the Joker with a grin.

“Wait a sec,” gulped Hiro as his smile turned into a warning one, “is that what really happened, or a joke?”

“That’s what happened,” explained the Joker, unaware of the now dangerous position he was in.

“What a terrible joke,” whispered Hiro.

“I told you, it wasn’t a…” the Joker was interrupted.

“You allowed the Vortex Riders to take the Chroma Keystone?!” snarled Hiro. “DO YOU HAVE ANY NOTION OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR BLUNDER?!”

“Wait a sec,” yelped the Joker, “we have the Foundation Element. I don’t see why…”

“I DON’T CARE ABOUT SOME TRINKET!” roared Hiro. “My daughter and her little band have a color activated Keystone, meaning any and all Chroma-locks are under their control!”

“Daughter?” quizzed Igura. Hiro slightly relaxed.

“How about I tell you what happened in my absence from Shocker,” he offered as he turned and led Igura away.


Meanwhile, we had arrived back on Vorton. Lord Business massaged his rear. “That could have gone a little more smoothly,” he said. A portal opened back to his home dimension. “I believe that’s my ride,” said Lord Business. “Well, it’s been fun, but I have some reconstruction to do. Oh, before I go,” he handed us a bag of studs, “I believe the total should be 160,000 studs. Bye bye!” He stepped into the portal and it disappeared

“There it is, the Chroma Keystone!” exclaimed the voice. “Now we’re talking!”

“Let’s see what this one can do,” mused Batman. “Chroma Keystone, activate!”

“Incorrect Keystone request,” reported Batman’s gauntlet.

“What?!” snapped Batman.

“I guess you can only use the Shift Keystone,” I guessed.

“Then who’s using the Chroma Keystone?” asked Emily as the Keystone attached itself above the Shift Keystone.

+GATEWAY 40% STABILIZED+ reported my belt. +MINIMAL SECURITY MEASURES ONLINE+

“We won’t be blindsided then,” sighed Emily in relief.

+ALERT+ called my belt. +UNKNOWN PRESENCE DETECTED IN CAFETERIA+

“You were saying?!” I hissed as I drew my sword. We all flew down to the cafeteria. The doors were closed. “On three, we swarm the place,” I directed, “Ichi! Ni! SAN!” We burst in and spread out to give ourselves cover. What we saw just…wasn’t possible! There, holding a small glass of water, in all of her green skinned- black wearing, pointy hatted glory, was the Wicked Witch of the West! She saw us and gave a smirk.

“Red alert,” she joked. She then drank the contents of the glass! My eyes widened. Surprisingly, she wasn’t dissolving and squawking “Oh, what a world! What a world!” As she finished, she licked her lips and sighed. “You know,” she mused, “long before I was a Wicked Witch, I used to drink this religiously. I missed that part of my past. Of course, that was negligible as I had better things to do than try and find a cure to my old water allergy, like conquering Oz.”

“Up to your old tricks?” asked Emily.

“I haven’t the vaguest notion of doing so at this point in time, Rosie” dismissed the Witch, making a reference to Emily’s dress, “considering that there’s something greater going on. I need to destroy it before it destroys me. But, that’s rather hard for me to do. I no longer have any magic! I was hoping to go into business with your wizard.”

“My dear lady,” protested Gandalf, “you gave us magic folk a bad name! Couldn’t you have toned the wickedness down a tad?”

“I don’t know,” purred the Witch, “I found good to be dumb.” She then saw my expression. “You don’t believe me. Do you really think I would humiliate myself like this?”

“When it serves,” replied Emily.

“It’s the truth!” insisted the Witch. “What you see before you is a defrocked Elphaba Thropp, condemned to live out her days as a normal person!”

“The question of whether or not you have magic is irrelevant,” I dismissed. “The question of your return to life, however, I would like answered.”

“As would I,” replied Elphaba. “Last time I saw you, I was melting away in my observatory. The next thing I knew, I woke up, screaming in the dimensional vortex. After that, I ended up here. That’s all I know.”

“What do you want?” I asked.

“Your compassion,” explained Elphaba. Need I describe how I felt about that? “All right,” Elphaba tried again, “sanctuary on Vorton, dreary as it is for all parties concerned.”

“Get on that broomstick of yours and get out!” I demanded.

“I have no powers!” protested Elphaba. “You look upon Elphaba Thropp, the ordinary!”

“Elphaba the Tyrant!” I argued. “Elphaba the Conqueror!”

“Elphaba the Miserable!” Elphaba argued back. “Elphaba the Desperate! What must I do to convince you?!”

“Take a swim,” suggested Batman.

“Oh, very clever, you poor excuse of a winged monkey,” snarked Elphaba. “Eat any good books lately?”

“For the last time, I’m a bat!” snarled Batman. “Not a dog! Not a brat! And I’m CERTAINLY not one of your Flying Monkeys!”

“You wish for compassion? Sanctuary?” I asked.

“Yes,” confirmed Elphaba.

“Hongo-san, Duke Emmanuel, Dame Emily,” I directed, “have the computer help put Elphaba in the brig.” A grin crossed Emily’s face.

“Delighted, Your Highness,” she chuckled.

“You can’t do this to me!” protested Elphaba. Emily then grabbed her by the shoulder, digging her nails into it.

“You will walk,” ordered Emily as a blue path lit up for her, “or I will carry you.” Emmanuel was holding the door open while Hongo directed them to leave with is hand and a smile.

“…Given the option,” mused Elphaba, “I’ll walk.” With Emily’s hand still firmly on Elphaba’s shoulder, the group was led to the brig. Emily picked out the cell wand led the boys back up to the cafeteria. We decided to have lunch while we pondered our options.

“If she can drink water,” guessed Irina, “splashing her in the night won’t do the trick.”

“I hate to pander to a stereotype of a manner-driven culture like most Southern states,” replied Richard, “but I fail to see the honor in killing her.”

“I fail to see the honor in letting her live,” argued Lukas. “She has proven unrepentant.”

“Her comments have demonstrated that fact,” I granted, “but Mom always said that mercy is the greatest weapon of all time.”

“She usually follows up with a warning to the effect of mercy being misused!” argued Hiroki.

“When it comes to killing,” I countered. “If we kill her, who are we being merciful to?”

“The multiverse,” replied Xiomara.

“Too vague,” countered Batman.

“I’m not exactly wild about her coming back,” agreed Wyldstyle, “but there are other ways to deal with her.”

“If she stays,” argued Michael, “we’ll probably have two messes to contend with instead of just one.”

“I say we listen to Megumi,” suggested Gandalf.

“You cannot be serious!” protested Hiroki.

“If we kill her when she didn’t make any threatening moves against us or the multiverse,” explained Gandalf, “we would prove ourselves as low as the enemy.”

“You’ve killed people before!” argued Hiroki. Probably not the brightest thing to say.

“I gave them a chance to back off before I attacked,” hissed Gandalf with a hint of anger. “I never kill unless it’s the last resort!”

“Someone, talk some sense into him!” cried Hiroki.

“He speaks sense,” argued Mikhail. “There is no need to kill Elphaba.”

“Really?!” snapped Irina. “My younger brother decides to let a known threat live?!”

“She has made no move to attack us,” countered Mikhail. “I say we observe her. If she makes a move against us, all bets are off and she dies. If not, she may prove valuable.”

“Her magic is impressive,” observed Tanisha. “I agree with Mikhail.”

“As do I,” called Emily as she, Hongo, and Emmanuel reentered the cafeteria. “She had given us valuable info on operations in Oz. Once she helped us, she could only do a simple levitation spell. Her story on once being powerless checks out.”

“And you three are just taking her word for it?!” yelped Haitao.

“Of course not,” replied Emmanuel. “Lie detectors line the cells in the brig. It proves useful for interrogation.”

“And on a side note, her compliment on my and Emmanuel’s dresses proved sincere,” supplied Emily.

“Much as I want to rehabilitate her,” argued Richard, “we’ll need more proof than a compliment on your clothes!”

“Then she stays alive so we get that proof,” I said with a tone of finality.

“Nee-san, please!” protested Hiroki.

“Your princess has made her decision!” I declared. “Killing Elphaba in any way, shape, or form is out! Am I clear?” Silence permeated the room. “Good.” I said. “Now, let’s get our meals. Bring one to Elphaba.”

“I’ll bring it to her,” volunteered Emily. Elphaba’s meal was a chicken breast with broccoli. As we ate, Emily eating with our prisoner, the debate ran through my mind. Throughout the journey, I was hellbent on killing Hiro. Looking back, that might be an escape for REAL justice for him and his allies. I started mulling over options on keeping him confined for life. Hongo’s right, killing someone should always be a last resort. We then finished our meals, took our showers, and then headed for bed.


Back in the Simpsons world, Death had arrived at a house. She knocked on the door to reveal a girl in stereotypical goth clothing. “Pardon me,” whispered Death, “may I have a moment of your time, Ms. Lacey?”

“Sure,” agreed the girl, Lacey. Death was let in. “What are you doing here? Business as usual? Am I your client?”

“Hardly,” replied Death. “I’ve been away on a long journey and saw something…peculiar.”

“It’s that sword you gave Mom,” guessed Lacey. “That stupid looking thing that you told her never to touch.”

“Your mother’s ‘stupid’ sword?” asked Death as she sat down. “The one that feels ‘wrong’ to you?” She held out her hand. “Give it to me.”

“Give you the sword?” quizzed Lacey.

“For a moment only,” whispered Death. Lacey got the sword down from the mantelpiece. It was a broadsword in a black scabbard with a silver handle and guard. “Can you see any markings on it?” asked Death.

“No,” answered Lacey. “Kind of plain, if you ask me.”

“How about now?” asked Death as she casually tossed the sword into the fire. Lacey gasped and rushed towards it only to be held back by her visitor. “Wait!” hissed Death. “Do you desire it so much?”

“…N…no!” stammered Lacey. “But why burn it?!”

“Because I had unwittingly given your mother a fragment of the enemy’s power!” explained Death as her whispering voice went up a fragment. “It will corrupt and destroy any who have it until he or she passes under the enemy’s power. Named after the enemy’s desire for a perfect world, this was called the Foundation Saber!”

“That isn’t how Mom kept her appointment with you, is it?!” gulped Lacey, getting frantic.

“No, she is still safe from the enemy,” assured Death, “but you are in danger!” Death then picked up the sword from the fire. Much like the One Ring, the sword was unharmed. Death tossed it to Lacey, who instinctively caught it. She was surprised at the temperature. “Reveal part of the blade,” instructed Death. Lacey blinked, but obeyed. Instead of metal, the blade seemed to be made of solid space.

“It was metal before, I swear it!” declared Lacey.

“Oh no, this is the Foundation Saber’s natural state,” whispered Death as she took the sword back. “Stay here. I must take it and seek out War, the one who was duped into making this thing.”

“Be safe,” called Lacey. Death left the house with the sword, mounted her white horse, and charged off into a portal of her own design.

Categories
Kamen Rider Vortex Kamen Rider Vortex Chapters

Chapter 9

Homer was asleep at his post, the nuclear rod in his butt. He tossed and turned. “It’s not selling out!” he yelped. “It’s co-branding! Co-branding!” I’m surprised he slept through the crash. In any case, we picked ourselves up out of the wreckage.

“What do you suppose these infernal contraptions want here?” asked Gandalf as he brushed himself off.

“And why are there rivers of glowing green ooze flowing all around this place?” quizzed Hongo, a little worried.

“I wouldn’t worry,” assured Richard. “This thing gets reactor leaks all the time and the radiation doesn’t bother the residents.”

“They’re probably used to it!” I yelped. “We, on the other hand, aren’t!”

+THIS UNIT WOULD RECOMMEND WEARING YOUR ARMOR IF YOU’RE SO CONCERNED+ suggested my belt.

“Good idea!” I agreed. “But what about Gandalf, Wyldstyle, and Batman?”

“Never mind us,” assured Batman as we said Henshin and put our suits on. “If we don’t go anywhere near anything radioactive, we should be good. Wyldstyle, your scanner.”

“There’s something at the other end of the plant,” reported Wyldstyle, “maybe the Keystone?”

“Let’s check it out,” called Batman. We went across a catwalk to a locked room with a dial that clearly wasn’t set to keep the steam from leaking. Homer had finally woken up and was apparently informed of the steam leaks somehow. The intercom was still on, so we heard what he was saying.

“What do I do?!” he wailed. “What do I do?!” He even had the instructions in his hands! Even then, he just fiddled with random controls! After a few button presses, he looked back at the book. “All right, brain,” he encouraged said organ, “it’s all up to you!” He read aloud, “check core temperature.” I figured that there was no way he’d screw that up. Too much to hope for. He fiddled with more controls and then went to a black button. “I just press this button…” in reality, no, he shouldn’t have. That button made the steam pipes burst, causing the bridge over a vat of nuclear waste to collapse, and eliciting a “D’oh!” from Homer.

“I get the feeling this guy isn’t quite up to speed on nuclear safety,” muttered Wyldstyle. She then saw some parts. “Hey, Swing, Claw, help me out!”

“If you’re sure,” shrugged Claw. They swapped out their i.d tags for the Wyldstyle one. Once Wyldstyle Steel was activated, they started building a claw that was rolled up with a grapple hook. Batman pulled it with the grapple gun, switching it on and sending a Keystone Transmitter near us from the waste.

“That helps,” called Batman. “Shift Keystone, Activate! Cyan, near the wall outside the window! Yellow, inside top level! Magenta, inside bottom level! Shift! Ichigō! Magenta! Shift! Royal! Yellow!” Ichigō and I went to our respective places. The steam from the pipes in my area blocked my progress. Batman told Ichigō to turn the valve in his area. He did so, thus lowering the pressure so the steam won’t block my path. I then signed to Batman asking if I should go and pull the lever at the end of my area. He gave me the thumbs up and so I pulled the lever. It drained away some of the waste so it could reveal the remains of the bridge. “Shift! Ichigō! Cyan! Shift! Royal! Cyan!” We came out through the cyan portal. Thank goodness. We crossed the bridge, with Arch, Lukas, and I carrying Batman, Gandalf, and Wyldstyle, much to Batman’s annoyance, and saw a guy in a green business suit with an extended upper lip, liver spots on top of his head, and a scheming look to his eyes, and named, I believe, Mr. Burns, take down the zero on the billboard that indicated the days without an accident. It went from zero…to…three?! This whole thing isn’t an accident?!

“Um, excuse me?! Hello?! Thank you?!” yelped Touché. She only says that when something that defies logic happens or when someone says something incredibly dumb. Mr. Burns then turned the billboard that indicated the…days without an otherworldly invasion?! Apparently, it was three hundred twenty-three days without such an occurrence before this one. Mr. Burns changed it to zero, sighed while shaking his head, and walked out slowly. Meanwhile, we were running on a conveyor belt with a bunch of barrels coming out and almost squashing us. We managed to get to the other side when we heard Homer speak.

“Vent radioactive gas? N-O,” he said to himself.

“Homer,” I shrieked internally as I saw people in hazmat suits trying to escape, “anata wa bakada!” (you are an idiot!)

“Homer, you genius!” praised Homer to himself.

“Why is this guy in charge of safety?!” asked Wyldstyle. “He couldn’t cross the road!”

“We need to get across to save those people,” I resolved. The main problem with that was that there were massive covered vents in our way. We could easily reach the first vent, but the second and last were too tall for us to reach, well, maybe not Ichigō, but the rest of us aren’t…wait a minute, that’s it! “Wyldstyle!” I shouted. “Wall jump up there! I think the controls to make this easier are over there!”

“What?” yelped Wyldstyle.

“Just trust me!” I assured. Wyldstyle shrugged as she did as I requested. She found the controls and pulled a lever down. Some steam raised the cover of a vent at different intervals. She got the idea and pulled the other levers. There wasn’t an exact pattern to when the platforms raised, but that was unimportant. Clash then leapt up and landed on a vent cover when it went down. She was then lifted by the steam and raised to another platform. After a few jumps, she gave the thumbs up that our weight would be supported if we went one at a time. I wish she didn’t do that. She’s too valuable to me. We all made it to the other side and heard Homer speak.

“This is my chance to show everyone how professional I am!” he cheered. He then ran around his seat, smashed his fists on the buttons, then banged his head once, then went to sleep! Those actions resulted in a power generator holding door locks to malfunction and release the door latch. Barrels then came out of the door and onto a conveyor belt. They were then put right-side up and put under squashers. Thankfully, that wasn’t our problem at the moment. We had to get the people trapped in the gas out. Ichigō and I punched the glass, got our hands, and opened it from the other side. The people got out as we got something to block the door. Once that was done, we realized our only path was through the squashers. The controls were inside a locked room. Batman’s gauntlet light started glowing green. We looked all around until Gandalf lit up a room in total darkness in a lower level. We brought the transmitter into the light, giving Batman his Keystone Powers.

“Shift Keystone, activate!” he announced. “Magenta, on white panel inside room! Cyan, on scaffolding! Yellow, on the raised platform!”

“Oh yes?” asked Battle. “You’re just going to put the portal on a white panel?”

“Yes,” confirmed Batman.

“On a lower level panel?” quizzed Battle.

“Yes,” replied Batman.

“And people are supposed to reach the controls that way?” asked Battle.

“Yes,” sighed Batman, annoyed.

“…How?” asked Battle. Batman opened his mouth when he realized he was too eager to place portals.

“Batman, you may need me on the scaffolding,” said Gandalf. “The way I see things, there are two components that relate to the door over there. It seems locked for the person that goes in the magenta portal. However, if I were to undo the power that holds the door and transfer to the yellow portal, thus putting me on the platform, I can push something down to Madam Wyldstyle and she can build something to get that panel at a higher elevation.”

“Good idea,” I praised. “Batman, if you please?”

“Shift! Gandalf! Cyan!” announced Batman. Gandalf ended up on the scaffolding, undid the components, unlocking the door for the room and shutting the door that was spewing barrels under the crusher. He was then transferred to the yellow portal and shoved a crate off. Wyldstyle used the parts to build a giant joystick. Battle had changed into Gandalf steel and used magic to move the panel to the upper level. “Shift! Ichigō Gandalf! Wyldstyle! Outback! Hunt! Claw! Swing! Clash! Climb! Gallop! Sengoku! Royal! Guard! Touché! Zhànshì! Arch! Kämpfer! Seeker! Battle! Batman! Magenta!” called Batman, trying a different approach. Tedious, yes, but it worked. We went through the portal and walked along the conveyor belt to end up in front of a hallway with a security camera. I saw the door controls and figured I’d just waltz up and use them. My arrogance proved me wrong as the door controls locked at the sight of me. I turned on my heel and walked back.

“Any suggestions?” I asked, open to ideas.

“Allow me,” replied Batman. He then pulled his cape in front of his face and started going transparent. He went down the hall, fiddled with the controls and deactivated the camera and door locks. That door led to an area filled with toxic waste and a bunch of Micro-managers trying to yank something out of the wall, their boss, I assume, given that it spoke. He was a man in a gray business suit, had an elaborate red and black headdress with a red coffee cup on each side, a chest plate in black with shoulder pads and a red tie in the middle, a long red cape, and black boots with red light up sections that alter his height according to his whims. Judging by the look on Wyldstyle’s face, I’d say it was a certain business lord she’s been on the run from in the past.

“So,” asked the man, “what I’m saying is, why didn’t you just cut a bigger hole?!”

“Just wasn’t in the budget,” joked Rogue’s voice. The business lord didn’t appreciate the joke as Rogue walked in, laughing at the man’s predicament. The business man was the pulled out by the Micro-managers and set upright.

“Lord Business!” hissed Wyldstyle.

“Wyldstyle?” exclaimed Lord Business. “It WAS you meddling!”

“This is impossible!” snapped Wyldstyle. “You were about to graduate from the Master Builder Academy! Why are you up to your old tricks?!”

“Hey, I’d love to catch up,” replied Lord Business, “but I have to grab something and then destroy you and your friends. Mmkay? Mmkay.”

“Short, and to the point,” praised Rogue. “I like that. How about an assist for you? The element’s up there in that man’s hands!” He pointed to Homer who was looking on from an observation window.

“Get the element!” Lord Business ordered his Micro-managers. One of them chased Homer throughout the facility.

“Ow! Hoo-hoo! Ow, my thingies!” screamed Homer. He was then brought into the room in the Micro-manager’s grip. He screamed for a bit, then realized he had a drumstick in his hand, the edible kind, chomped on it, then saw Lord Business and Rogue. “I’m not normally a praying man,” wailed Homer as the Micro-manager threw the drumstick into the ooze, dissolving the meat and leaving the bone, “but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman!” Batman visibly winced at this. Homer then got the wrong idea about Rogue and Lord Business. “Oh my gosh, space aliens! Don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids! Eat them!” He was then taken away.

“Right,” chuckled Lord Business, “that’s the grabbing done. Now, what was the other thing?” A wicked grin appeared on his face.

“You’re going nowhere with this plan!” I snarled.

“And who’s going to stop us, you?” asked Rogue.

“Well, it was nice of you guys to drop by,” said Lord Business, “but Rogue and I don’t have time to play. We’re a little busy.” Batman studied the area.

“Those toxic waste pumps look useful,” he mused, “IF we can get to them.”

“HIT THE DECK!” shouted Guard. As we ducked, a red laser beam swept over us, destroying a gold apparatus, revealing parts that Wyldstyle picked up with Master Builder vision. The laser beam terminated automatically, making Lord Business growl in frustration.

“Look,” he hissed, “this is a new gun, okay! It needs a little time to recharge, so my goons will distract you, all right?”

“Don’t tell them the plan!” snapped Rogue. He summoned Turretorg again.

“There you are!” snarled the monster as it fired on us. We had to dodge its weapons as it fired. Another gold apparatus was destroyed as we dodged shrapnel.

“Do you mind!” shouted Rogue. He swept the area with another laser, destroying the last gold apparatus. “Well, I can safely be called an idiot,” muttered Rogue.

“Darn right!” agreed Wyldstyle as she built a pump, pulled the lever, and spewed toxic waste at Lord Business. After he fell into the pool of the stuff, he got back up, destroyed the pump, and sent parts of the ceiling down on our heads! It destroyed the platform we were on, so we had to use the ceiling panels to stay out of the toxic waste. Lord Business got the gun working again, but we dodged the laser until it ran out of juice again. He grunted in frustration at this.

“Why are you so difficult?!” snarled Lord Business. “Just stay still and let me get you already!” As more of the SWAT-bots came back, Zhànshì activated Wyldstyle Steel, rebuilt the pump, and pumped more toxic waste onto Lord Business. He destroyed the thing again, but Batman saw a Keystone transmitter in the vicinity.

“Shift Keystone, activate!” he announced. “Cyan, on upper left platform! Yellow, on upper middle platform! Magenta, on upper right platform!”

“Really?” asked Lord Business. “It’s like you’re just asking me to attack you in lots of different and interesting ways!”

“If I may use the Cyan portal, please?” I asked Batman.

“Shift! Cyan! Royal!” announced Batman. I went into the portal and got to a control panel for a toxic waste pump.

“Let’s see,” I mused as I looked over the controls. My eyes stopped at a lever. It asked if I wanted to activate the pump. “Y-E-S,” I exclaimed as I pulled the lever. Green ooze spilled onto Lord Business. The flow automatically cut itself off.

“Do you mind?” protested Lord Business. “This is a new suit!”

“I see waste pump controls at the magenta portal!” called Guard.

“Shift! Guard! Magenta!” announced Batman. Guard was transported to the waste pump controls and pressed a button to activate it. More green ooze spilled onto Lord Business.

“We all know that toxic waste gives you awesome super powers,” called Turretorg as it plunged its hand into the stuff, “so you just keep on trying that. Thanks!”

“What are you doing?!” shouted Rogue. At that moment, Turretorg started glowing green. Sickeningly yellow claws appeared on its hands. Its eyes started glowing yellow as well.

“Now, I am Turretoxorg!” announced the new monster. His bullets were like acid as it started melting the metal of the walls!

“Shift! Arch! Yellow!” Arch was sent through the yellow portal, activated Batman Steel, and used the grapple gun to pull the end of a waste pump towards him. It unblocked the flow of waste as it spilled onto Lord Business. He managed to get away from the stuff and switched a walkie-talkie on.

“Tell him ‘It’s showtime!’” he ordered to his forces. Meanwhile, a Micro-manager was chasing Homer as he escaped its grip. He was climbing the walls, swimming in the waste, and hiding among us in funny glasses. He was then caught by a Micro-manager as he gripped the pipes while the black box tugged at his pants, trying to get the nuclear rod stuck in them. It managed to remove the pants and send the rod flying everywhere. It bounced on the Micro-manager and towards Gandalf who used his staff as a bat and hit the rod…right into Rogue’s hands.

“Look at that!” he gloated. “Right into my hand!” Homer was distracted in the meantime.

“Hey! Get your own pants!” shouted the head of the Simpson household before he covered his crotch and shuffled off in embarrassment.

“Hey, it’s been great seeing you catch up with your old friend Lord Business, Madam Wyldstyle,” called Rogue, “but I have somewhere less exploding to be.”

“What about me?” asked Lord Business.

“What about you?” asked Rogue as he took out a remote and pressed a button. Something sparked on the back of Lord Business’ neck. He then looked around the place and saw Wyldstyle.

“Oh, hey, Wyldstyle!” he said pleasantly. “What are you doing here? Er…where IS here, exactly?”

“Don’t even try to play dumb here!” snapped Guard.

“He’s not,” replied Rogue. He held up the remote he had used earlier. “I had originally suggested to my Shocker buddies that they use a mind control chip in your cybernetics, Hongo, but they felt the usual brainwashing methods were still valid.”

“Hey, you said you came to me with a business deal!” protested Lord Business.

“And look where that latent greed got you,” chuckled Turretoxorg. It turned to a Micro-manager. “You know what to do.” Rogue took that as his cue to leave while the Micro-manager advanced menacingly towards us. Turretoxorg made a swipe with its claws as the Micro-manager grabbed a batarang and grabbed the panel we were on. We tried to steady ourselves as Turretoxorg tried to shift the weight around. The Micro-manager took us all up to an ornate office with a model of Springfield inside. Judging by the statues, I’d say that it was Mr. Burns’ office. Gandalf straightened his hat as we looked around. Turretoxorg just looked at us.

“Aren’t you going to fight us?” I asked.

“Now how selfish do you think I am?” quizzed Turretoxorg. I shrugged, and then resigned myself to looking around. I clapped eyes on a strange machine with a Keystone on top. It seemed to have a cone on each end and had a design with a red square, a blue L-shape on the left, and a yellow reverse L-shape on the right. I saw three switches and tried very hard to resist the temptation to touch them. I failed miserably as I turned the machine on. The machine then generated three portals that seemed to suspend a paint blob each, one red, one yellow, and one blue.

“Okay, what’s the power of this Keystone?” I asked to myself. My belt apparently doesn’t pick up on rhetorical questions.

+THE KEYSTONE IS CALLED THE…+

“Okay, thank you,” I interrupted. “I’ll get an explanation later.” A cackle rang through the office.

“Oh no, not him!” moaned Batman.

“Roll up!” announced the voice. “Roll up and witness the hysterically hilarious, the riotously ridiculous, the marvelously mirthful…” a certain clown Batman knew too well slid on his knees on the desk. “…me!” He caught sight of the Dark Knight. “Well, if it isn’t my old pal, Batsy!”

“Joker!” hissed Batman.

“Ding-ding-ding!” replied the Joker. “One point to the Dork Knight!” He let out a laugh. “But, can you tell me what THIS is?” He started looking at a pocket watch as Batman glared at the Joker. Sengoku turned to Turretoxorg.

“I ain’t telling!’ it exclaimed. The pocket watch started ringing as the Joker made a buzzing noise

“Too late!” sniggered the Clown Prince of Crime. “My experts say it’s a power unit! So, let’s see if it’s got enough juice to wake up an old friend of yours, Bat-brain!” The room started trembling. “Ooo hoo hoo! I think it does!” said the Joker.

“Joker, what are you doing?!” rasped Batman.

“Is there a reason behind the Joker’s actions?!” asked Seeker. The Joker blew a kiss at us, then jumped out the window!

“While he’s getting Batman’s old friend prepped,” called Turretoxorg, “how about I summon some of yours, Hongo-san?” It pulled out a radio from a concealed pouch in its chest. “Come forth, Combatmen!” A bunch of men in black uniforms with a skeletal motif and a silver belt buckle with the symbol of an eagle holding Earth came out of the woodwork, literally! They came out of the walls and drew their machete like swords, surrounding us! They kept saying “Yee!” for some odd reason.

“Shocker!” exclaimed Ichigō.

“Let me guess, these are Shocker’s grunts,” theorized Touché.

“Yep,” confirmed Sengoku. “They prefer to attack en masse. You can guess their max strength from there.” The building started shaking again. This time, a giant metallic flower on the lapel of some robot passed by to reveal a mammoth sized metal version of the Joker’s face.

“Oh, not this again!” groaned Batman. “Duck!” A giant, green, four fingered hand grabbed the power unit and attached to the back of the robot the head was attached to. The Joker Robot then lifted the ceiling and a good chunk of the walls, which I believed to be impressive since the right arm was a massive cannon.

“Ready for round two?!” asked the Joker.

“More than ready,” hissed Batman.

“No catchphrases?” asked Turretoxorg.

“Oh, catchphrases?” called the Joker. “Let me hear them!”

“As you wish,” obliged Outback. “Kamen Rider Outback! Better watch your backs, mates!”

“Kamen Rider Claw! My weapons shall turn you into ribbons!”

“Kamen Rider Swing! I’ll be taking your legs!”

“Kamen Rider Hunt! I shall always get my prey!”

“Kamen Rider Clash! A duel with me shall end in your defeat!”

“Kamen Rider Climb! Mountains are a warrior’s best friend!”

“Kamen Rider Gallop! My riding skills are unmatched!”

“Kamen Rider Sengoku! You shall get a taste of Feudal Japan!”

“Kamen Rider Royal! Evil will ultimately bow to me!”

“Kamen Rider Guard! None shall harm my friends, family, and lady!”

“Kamen Rider Touché! En Garde, thing of evil!”

“Kamen Rider Zhànshì! Try and stop my quest!”

“Kamen Rider Arch! My skills outdo Robin Hood!”

“Kamen Rider Kämpfer! Your defeat will be certain at my hands!”

“Kamen Rider Seeker! It’s not gold I seek, but your end!”

“Kamen Rider Battle! For friends and family, I shall be victorious!”

“I am Gandalf the Gray! I shall weave a spell of defeat over you!”

“I’m Wyldstyle! And I am not a DJ!”

“I’m Batman! The Dark Knight rises!”

“I am the start of a group of warriors! I am Kamen Rider!”

“…That was long,” observed Turretoxorg. The robot then grabbed an I-beam and swung it at us. We got out of the way, but barely, what with the Shocker Combatmen something into the air. They turned out to be giant wind up teeth with the Joker’s goons and some strange beings made up of space. They were featureless and had no way to discern their gender. My belt started warbling in an alarming manner.

+VORTEXONS DETECTED!+ it warned.

“Oh, look!” cheered the Joker. “Everyone has come out to see me! Little old me! Too bad there’s no Keystone transmitter for you!”

“You want to bet, clown?!” snarled Batman. “Shift Keystone, activate! Cyan, on the cannon! Yellow, on top of the head! Magenta, on the left arm!”

“Hey, where did they come from?!” called Turretoxorg. It looked around and saw a transmitter near the cannon. “The enemy’s getting aid! Destroy the transmitter!”

“You guys protect the transmitter!” directed Batman. “The Joker’s mine! Hitting him will interrupt his sequence and do some damage, but he’s too far away unless that thing stays online!”

“Just try and hit me, Bratman!” boasted the Joker. “Chroma! Yellow! Joker!” The Joker then jumped into the yellow paint blob on the left arm and was covered in yellow paint.

“Shift! Batman! Magenta!” commanded Batman. He appeared in front of the Joker and attacked him, but the Joker seemed to laugh it off.

“Ah, the wonders of a Keystone!” cheered the Joker. “This baby has given me a very powerful shield, making me immune to enemy attacks!”

“Enemy attacks, eh?” mused Batman. “Shift! Shocker Minion! Magenta!” The Shocker Minion he was referring to was trying to make a flying chop with that blade of his before the magenta portal caught him.

“Yee!” he yelped before he appeared on the Joker Robot’s left arm. Batman used him as a club and made the Joker revert back to his, er, “normal” self.

“Hey!” protested the Joker. “Now that’s not very nice!”

“Yee! Yee!” said the Shocker minion as he smacked the Joker. The Joker threw him off, causing the poor mook to crack his skull when he hit the floor. He died on impact. A couple of Shocker minions saw this and started attacking the Joker’s goons. The Joker, in the meantime, had left a bomb that just spat out a flag that said “BOOM!” on it.

“Simple fix!” chuckled Batman as he rebuilt it to actually explode. Once he got clear, the bomb went off and destroyed the shoulder armor of the robot.

“That’s it!” declared Wyldstyle. “He’s weakening!” A Vortexon tried to jump her, but she kicked it into a Shocker minion’s backside. Soon, the Shocker minions were trying to get rid of the Vortexons and the Joker’s goons.

“WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS DOING!” shouted Turretoxorg. It was then hit with eyebeams that came out of the Joker Robot’s optics, reverting it back to Turretorg. “WHAT’S THE IDEA!” it roared to the Joker.

“Don’t forget to go out with a smile!” called the Joker. More of his goons appeared. “Nice of you to come out and play!” praised their boss. This time, he saw the chaos with the minions. “HEY! CUT THAT OUT!” he shouted. “Chroma! Blue! Joker!” This time, he took a blue coloration.

“Shift! Batman! Turretorg! Cyan!” called Batman. Turretorg was taken by surprise.

“HELP!” it shouted as it was sucked in. Once they were on the cannon arm, Batman started taunting the Joker.

“Of all the unfunny jokes you’ve made, Joker, this has to be the worst!” taunted the Dark Knight. “How is this demonstrating that chaos is eternal? All I see is your ultimate defeat!”

“That’s it,” whispered Turretorg, “keep talking!” It swung a punch to the rear of Batman’s head, but the Dark Knight ducked, allowing the punch to hit the Joker, making him lose his color again.

“Will you just PLAY NICE!” shouted the Joker as he set another bomb. This time, Batman had a little trouble reconfiguring it to actually explode as Turretorg laid down suppressing fire.

“Shift! Kämpfer! Cyan!” called Batman. Kämpfer jumped in and took care of the bomb. It blew up, damaging the cannon arm’s armor. The robot the shot its eyebeams at us again.

“You know something,” hissed the Joker, “having a gun obsessed mole like you help me obtain the Keystone was bad comedy!”

“MOLE?!” roared Turretorg. “YOU’VE GOT A LOT OF NERVE, YOU COURT JESTER! I’LL BLOW A HOLE INTO YOUR STOMACH FOR THIS! VORTEXONS, SLAY THEM!” The Vortexons started overpowering Shocker and the Joker’s goons. “As for you,” it continued saying to the Joker, “it’s time for me to take control of this show!”

“It’s not a show without the Joker! That’s me by the way,” called the Joker. The flower on the robot’s lapel started spewing purple goo. I didn’t know what it was, but it felt toxic to me.

“This metal giant appears to have a strange contraption attached to it!” observed Gandalf as he attacked his foes with Glamdring. He was referring to something that had escaped my notice! It was next to the Keystone power unit and seemed to be patterned like a circuit board!

“I think that’s the robot’s brain!” I declared.

“Oops!” said the Joker. “Forgot to patch that! Chroma! Joker! Red!” He landed on the head to protect the brain.

“Not this time, clown!” called Batman. “Shift! Batman! Vortexon! Yellow!” Batman grabbed a Vortexon and jumped in, swinging the poor creature on the Joker. The Joker had lost his shield and set one last bomb. The Vortexon tried to keep Batman at bay but failed as he reconfigured it to explode. The brain was destroyed as the robot went to a standstill to expose the belly.

“Claw! Hunt!” exclaimed Ichigō. “With me!” They jumped into the air. “RIDER KICK!”

“RIDER CLAW KICK!”

“RIDER HUNT KICK!” The robot wobbled from the impact. It then proceeded to fall on its face! We got out of the way quickly. The minions of the enemy, not as lucky. The Joker popped out of the bloody wreckage with the Keystone in hand.

“Ooh, this looks valuable!” he cheered.

“MORON!” roared Turretorg as it punched the Joker. Batman was about to grab the Keystone, but the Joker brought out his tommy-gun. Batman backed off. The Joker got out his walkie-talkie.

“Hi,” he said, “I’m going to need a taxi from the roof of Springfield Nuclear Power Plant!”

“Add me to the list of passengers as well!” called Turretorg. A portal opened for the Joker and Turretorg.

“Oh, never mind,” laughed the Joker. “One’s here. Be seeing you around, Bat…” As he picked up the Keystone, Gandalf whacked the Joker with his staff and tripped up both the clown and Turretorg, making them fly into the vortex.

“I’ll be taking that, thank you!” snapped the grey wizard as he grabbed the Keystone. A portal opened for us. “Shall we?” asked Gandalf. I pressed the vehicle summon button to get Shadowfax, the Batmobile, the Cyclone, Wyldstyle’s bike, and the F.N.S’s horses. All riders then powered down and adopted our human forms.

“After you, good Sir Gandalf,” I said as I mounted my horse. Lord Business had caught up to us. He had apparently built himself a decontamination room and then converted it to a car. He explained that Shocker had kidnapped him after he was fooled by Hiro’s idea of a business negotiation and planted the mind-control chip on him when he was still in Octan Tower after getting his graduation invite. After accepting his request to join us until he could get home, we all boarded our vehicles and Gandalf led the charge out of Springfield. Thank goodness. I was going to enjoy a nice long bath to wash my entire body of this whole affair! I didn’t want to stay in Springfield a minute longer!