The heroes rushed to the main courtyard as Ganondorf and his forces engaged the Hylian soldiers and the delegates. Ganondorf was showing no mercy. “This is the best you can do, Zelda?!” he laughed. “I suppose, when you have Link, you’re lax in training your men!”
“Says the guy that uses weak uglies!” called Link as he pulled out what looked like a tablet.
“…This isn’t the time for Candy Crush!” protested the Doctor.
“I’m thinking…Magnet Pile,” replied Link. A holographic magnet then appeared and projected magnetic waves onto the broken metal door the enemy forces were standing on. He then raised the tablet and the door carried the Bokoblins up into the air. Link then maneuvered the door over Ganondorf, then twisted it so that the Bokoblins fell onto Ganondorf.
“ARGH! GET OFF ME!” roared the dark sorcerer as he used his power to create a shockwave that flung the Bokoblins off him. He then flew at Link in a rage! Link leapt out of the way, drawing his sword and shield and (at least for him) slowed down time long enough to score multiple sword strikes on Ganondorf. The ability then died down and Ganondorf blocked the next sword swing!
“Are we really doing this song and dance again?” taunted Link. “You know, for all your supposed mastery of the Triforce of Power, you never really win!”
“Mock me all you want, boy!” snarled Ganondorf. “Throughout every timeline, I always return! You cannot defeat me that easily!”
“Every timeline?” muttered the Doctor. Amy then came to her rescue by slamming her hammer into a Moblin’s skull! Rassilon then punched a Bokoblin’s throat.
“Doctor, this is not the time to be distracted!” snapped Rassilon.
“We’ve got it! We’ve got it!” called another Bokoblin. The ‘It’ he was referring to was the TARDIS as he commanded a red-maned Lynel to haul the TARDIS.
“OI! THAT’S MINE!” called the Doctor as she leapt onto the Lynel.
“HELP!” called Zelda as a silver-maned Lynel carried her away. As Link was about to pursue, a blue-maned Lynel carrying Miss Tarae and Amy knocked him out.
Link groaned as he woke up. He saw a stone ceiling. “…Not the Shrine of Resurrection, then,” he mumbled. “…Memories are still there. Good. Now-!”
“Lay back down there!” snapped William as he gently pushed Link onto the bed. “You’re lucky you Hylians are similar to humans. That Lynel hit you good!”
“But Zelda!” protested Link. “And your friends-!
“Sidon is gathering the remaining Sages…whatever they are. They’re gathering armies for an assault on Ganondorf’s castle. We’ll get everyone back.”
“Link, perhaps you can explain something to me,” said Rassilon as she stepped into the room. “Your arm, for a start.”
“I was about to ask, that’s not a normal Hylian arm, is it?” asked William as he pointed at Link’s right arm. It seemed to be covered in dark gray fur and had bronze arm attachments on it.
“…It’s King Rauru’s arm,” explained Link.
“Rauru? The Zonai Leader?” asked Rassilon.
“And Zelda’s first ancestor,” replied Link. “In this timeline, he was the one that sealed Ganondorf away, but Ganondorf released an avatar called Calamity Ganon. I beat that avatar and Ganondorf when he was fully resurrected, but his defeat opened my mind to the previous iterations of Hyrule.”
“So that’s why there’s so much temporal disturbance here,” remarked Rassilon. “This world sits upon a rift that opens into the Time Vortex.”
“So far, there were five main timelines,” explained Link.
“…You’re in the sixth one, aren’t you?” asked Rassilon. “That’s why the TARDIS was directed here.”
“Hm?”
“…We’re looking for a segment of a powerful artefact called the Key to Time,” explained Rassilon. Link’s eyes went wide.
“…I think I know exactly who you’re looking for,” he said.
“…Who?” asked William, confused by Link’s word choice.
In Ganondorf’s castle, the Doctor groaned as she rubbed her head. “Oof. Felt like I wrestled a Sontaran.”
“Doctor!” called Amy’s voice. She ran up to the bed the Doctor was lying on.
“Amy! You’re all right!” said the Doctor as she sat up.
“Yeah, but Zelda’s been taken!” replied Amy.
“Taken? To where?” asked the Doctor.
“That’s not your concern, Time Lord,” cackled Ganondorf’s voice. Amy rolled her eyes.
“I should have known you’d still go after Zelda!” she hissed.
“Still?” asked the Doctor. “Ganondorf, are you still obsessed with Zelda’s power? That’s so old! Clichéd, even!”
“This is not a play, Doctor,” purred Ganondorf, “but you could say it’s the final curtain for you!” The Doctor then collapsed, clutching her sides.
“DOCTOR!” yelped Amy. She ran over and turned the Doctor over…then the Doctor’s laughter echoed throughout the dungeon.
“CURTAIN! AHAHAHAHAHA!” she cackled.
“STOP LAUGHING!” shouted a very slighted Ganondorf. “Don’t you realize your life and Amy’s are in my hands?!”
“HANDS! AHAHAHAHA!” the Doctor continued laughing.
“Erm, Doctor, Ganondorf’s not someone to take lightly!” warned Amy.
“But of all the villains…I had to face…” wheezed the Doctor, “it had to be someone that uses such tired lines!”
“Well, it was either him or Miss Tarae over there,” remarked Amy as she pointed at a very free Miss Tarae. The Doctor stopped laughing long enough to piece together what was going on.
“Really?” she asked the wicked Time Lord. “You didn’t learn from Eggman?”
“Well, I didn’t open with trying to hypnotize Ganondorf,” replied Miss Tarae.
“Yeah, sure, THAT’S the important lesson,” scoffed Amy.
“Don’t be critical, Miss Rose,” chuckled Miss Tarae. “I have to say, it’s a good thing you’re already wearing black. You won’t need to change into funeral clothes when our plan unfolds.”
“What plan?” asked the Doctor.
“Temporal coherence,” said Ganondorf. “Our world sits near a temporal rift that resets the timeline frequently with multiple incarnations of myself, Zelda, and Link in each one.”
“How is Hyrule still here?” asked the Doctor.
“What do you know of Hylia?” quizzed Miss Tarae.
“…Isn’t she one of the Toymaker’s kids that rebelled against him?” recalled the Doctor.
“Indeed. She didn’t like her father’s games, so she worked with the Golden Goddesses and was entrusted with an artefact called the Triforce. The Triforce then split into three fragments of wisdom, power, and courage. Link and Zelda each got the respective Triforces of Courage and Wisdom while Ganondorf here obtained the Triforce of Power.”
“But Hylia interfered in a deeper way,” said Ganondorf. “She reincarnated as the first Zelda with no memories of her time as a goddess and with severely limited power. She manages to keep watch as every iteration of Zelda, still unable to recall her first life.”
“Choosing to be a mortal,” remarked the Doctor. “There’s a gift I wish I had.”
“Gift, my left-hand heart!” scoffed Miss Tarae. “In any event, as this is the sixth timeline of her devising, that left a bit of a clue. After my escape from Eggman’s lair, I crashed at the base of Death Mountain, northeast of Hyrule Castle, and found a bowship! Being interested in why an old Gallifreyan vessel would be here, I took a look and discovered it was Rassilon’s bowship! The same one she used when you exiled her…rather, HIM. I found records of when she stumbled across the Black Guardian and tasked her with finding the segments of the Key to Time and followed the journey right up until she intercepted your TARDIS in the Time Vortex. I then used my own TARDIS to follow your journey and requested Ganondorf’s help in researching what the last segment could be.”
“Or rather…who, as our research indicated,” chuckled Ganondorf darkly. “And we found the answer.”
“You did? …Who?” asked the Doctor, worried now.
“The current mortal incarnation of Hylia in this timeline, the SIXTH timeline!” cackled Miss Tarae.
“…Zelda?!” whispered Amy fearfully.
“Once we learned what Zelda’s true form is,” continued Miss Tarae, “Ganondorf built up his forces to assault Hyrule Castle while I sent a message to various people to slow you down along your stops. …But you just HAD to defeat them, didn’t you, Doctor? Well, defeat those that actually received my message. Maleficent couldn’t work technology without the MCP and Beerus was trapped by Frieza, the Autons were stuck in a time paradox of Tsukasa’s design, the Weeping Angels only saw me as a food source, the only TRULY reliable allies were the Cybermen once I contacted their local CyberMaster.”
“…You put those obstacles in place!” realized the Doctor. “YOU are the reason why so many people knew about the Key to Time!”
“They played their parts well enough to slow you down long enough for Ganondorf and I to prepare for your arrival, so I faked being chased by Ganondorf.”
“And took advantage of Zelda’s compassion!” hissed Amy. “All so you can get her to become the last segment and take ours!”
“Exactly. Now…the tracer, Doctor.” The Doctor then grinned.
“What tracer?” she asked. “Do you see any tracer on me?”
“…Doctor, I’m no longer in the mood for flippancy,” hissed Miss Tarae. “Where’s the tracer?”
“…Contact,” chuckled the Doctor.
“…Very well. Contact,” replied Miss Tarae. They then had a telepathic conference, then Miss Tarae ended it by sticking her hand through the cell’s bars in an attempt to throttle the Doctor.
“What’s wrong?” asked Ganondorf.
“Rassilon has the tracer and she’s still at Hyrule Castle!” snapped Miss Tarae.
“WHAT?!” bellowed Ganondorf.