Tag: legend of zelda

The Daleks were sending death squads onto Irk’s surface. Irkens all over the planet tried to counter-attack, but the Daleks simply exterminated the Irken soldiers. All that was left was the command center. A few Martian soldiers died while trying to help the Irkens. Marvin was getting battlefield report after battlefield report. “My Queen, Irk is a lost cause!” he said. “We have to retreat!”

“…I don’t like that word, but we have no choice,” muttered Tyr’ahnee. “The Doctor said that Zim must survive. Find him and bring him aboard the ship. Order our forces to return to the ship. We are leaving.”

“At once, my Queen.”

Everything was crumbling around Zim. The Empire he once served and commanded with such zealotry was now dying around him. The screams of his soldiers and the constant casualty reports were now fading into a constant ringing noise in his head. Even the report of Gaz’s extermination was now just background noise. “…My Tallest?” he mumbled, now seeing visions of the two Tallest he once served. He then felt a hand grab his arm, snapping him out of his trance. “What in-?!”

“Zim, come on!” called Marvin.

“Unhand me! I have an empire to-!”

“Zim, we both know the Irken Empire is dead! Now come on!”

“You’re not taller than me! Let go of-!” Marvin rolled his eyes and slung Zim over his shoulder. “PUT ME DOWN!” demanded Zim.

“I’m sorry, but I’m a slave to history,” replied Marvin as he ran out with Zim. The Irkens couldn’t believe it! Someone had kidnapped the Almighty Tallest! In the middle of a war!

The Doctor and her group arrived at the TARDIS. Link wanted so desperately to swing his sword into the Daleks, but the Doctor advised against it. Ariel tried again. “Doctor, please!” begged the former mermaid.

“You know I can’t,” sighed the Doctor. “Irk is destined to die. There’s nothing we can do about it. History is on track.”

“But Doctor, can’t you save just someone?! It’s not fair!”

“Don’t you think I haven’t thought about that?!” snapped the Doctor, tired of the argument. “My own planet burned! My people were slaughtered twice over in my eyes! If I could go back in time and prevent it all, I would, but I can’t! I just can’t!”

“I’m not asking you to save every Irken! Just please!” begged Ariel. “Just save someone!” The Doctor just stared at Ariel…then a memory appeared in front of her. …She was a man at the moment. The TARDIS console room was coral themed. There was a ginger woman. Sassy, headstrong, bit loud…and she was begging the Doctor to save someone from…from Pompeii during Mt. Vesuvius’ eruption. …Donna Noble, that was her name. …Then the Doctor remembered Lobus Caecilius and his family. She remembered stretching out his hand. She remembered that…history went on with barely a feather ruffled. …She then recalled Sty, selflessly bringing the Doctor and her friends to the command center.

“…Where is she?” the Doctor muttered to herself. An Irken then passed by, gathering weapons. The Doctor grabbed the Irken. “You! Where’s Invader Sty?!”

“B-By the command center’s ruins!” replied the Irken. “But-?!”

“Everyone, in!” the Doctor ordered her friends.

Sty fired, doing what she could to push back the Daleks. All around her, the Daleks screamed their familiar battle cry of “Exterminate!” Her gun’s battery pack was then exhausted. More Daleks were coming. One of them fixed her with a stare. “You are Invader Sty!” it barked.

“That’s right!” replied Sty.

“You will be exterminated!” continued the Dalek as it aimed its gunstick. …Just then, a wind picked up and a noise filled the air.

“Alert! Alert!” warned a Dalek. “Temporal disturbance detected!”

“It is the Doctor!” realized the first Dalek. The TARDIS then appeared between Sty and the Daleks with the doors facing the Irken. The doors opened and the Doctor reached out to Sty.

“Come with me,” she directed. Sty looked all around…then reached for the Doctor’s hand!

“All weapons primed and ready!” reported the Dalek Helmsman.

“All Irken defenses destroyed!” said the Saucer Commander. “The Irkens cannot act against us!”

“Martian ship leaving Irk!” reported another Dalek.

“Pursuit of Martian ship is unnecessary!” decided the Dalek Supreme. “Order evacuation of Irk!”

“I obey!” replied the third Dalek. It passed along the orders to all Dalek Death Squads. “All Daleks returned to their ships!”

“Fire weapons!” ordered the Dalek Supreme as it shook in anticipation. “Destroy Irk!”

“I obey!” replied the Dalek Helmsman. “Firing all weapons!”

The World Smasher class saucer deployed two massive laser cannons as the other saucers began their orbital bombardments. The flagship fired and fiery cracks appeared on Irk’s surface. Just then, Irk exploded, taking all Irkens with it. The last remnant of the Irken Empire…gone in just a few minutes.

Aboard the Martian ship, Zim saw the destruction and collapsed to his knees. All of it…gone.

Sty was feeling the same feelings as Zim when she saw what happened on the TARDIS monitor. “…My world,” she mumbled. “…Destroyed.”

“…I…I’m sorry,” said the Doctor, wondering if she made a mistake. She then glanced back. “Tysar, look after Sty, will you?”

“Yes, Doctor,” replied Tysar. She sat next to the poor Irken as the Doctor worked.

“…Ariel,” said the Doctor.

“Hm?” asked Ariel.

“…In all that chaos, I had almost forgotten why I took up my title. …Like a companion before me, you held me to the mark. …Thank you.” Ariel smiled a small smile.

“…I think I need to go back home,” she said.

“I’ve got the coordinates set for you,” said the Doctor. “Goodbye, my dear.” She flicked a switch and Ariel vanished while waving goodbye.

“…I think I’ve seen enough,” said Zelda.

“Same,” agreed Link.

“Well, since you two were just seconds apart in your little vanishing acts,” replied the Doctor, “I can safely return you to the same time in Hyrule. Setting coordinates…AHA! There!”

“I just hope this doesn’t happen to me again,” said Zelda. “Once was enough.”

“True that,” agreed the Doctor. “Farewell!” She flicked a switch and the two Hylians vanished.

Back on the World Smasher Saucer, the Dalek Supreme was in communication. “Dalek Supreme in former Irken Space to Emperor on Skaro!” A Dalek with a gold sphere replacing the dome and neck section then appeared, the Emperor Dalek itself in its mobile casing!

“Report!” it commanded in a booming voice.

“Irken Homeworld destroyed! World Smasher class test run successful! Irken people now extinct!” The Dalek Supreme was twitching in what passed for happiness for Daleks.

“What of Sty?” asked the Emperor. The Dalek Supreme’s twitching stopped.

“Sty?” it asked.

“Reports coming in!” reported the Dalek that originally objected to the Doctor’s survival. “The Doctor appeared before Dalek units could exterminate Sty! She is now aboard the Doctor’s TARDIS!”

“This failure is unacceptable!” boomed the Emperor. “Who ordered the Doctor to live?!”

“The order was given by the Dalek Supreme!” replied the Dalek. “The survival of Sty has secured the Vanguard Resistance’s beginnings!”

“Correct!” agreed the Emperor. “Engage frequency 479! Apply to the Dalek Supreme! Tell it how it failed, then DESTROY IT!”

“I obey!” The Dalek sent out a frequency that jammed the Dalek Supreme’s gunstick. “The survival of Sty has caused considerable disruption of our war against the Vanguard Resistance!”

“This was a matter that was not told to me!” insisted the Dalek Supreme.

“Our orders were to exterminate all life on Irk!”

“The Irken Genocide was a fixed point in history! THE DOCTOR COULD NOT INTERFERE!” By now, the Dalek Supreme sounded panicked.

“THE RESPONSIBILITY WAS YOURS!” shrieked the Dalek ready to execute the Supreme. “YOU HAVE FAILED! THE DALEKS DO NOT ACCEPT FAILURE!” It opened fire and blew a hole into the Dalek Supreme, killing it. The Emperor watched the whole thing.

“Identify yourself!” boomed the Emperor.

“Dalek Two-Two-One-One-One-Nine-Six-Three!” replied the Supreme’s executioner.

“Dalek Two-Two-One-One-One-Nine-Six-Three, take command of the World Smasher!” ordered the Emperor. “Return to Skaro for your promotion to Dalek Supreme!”

“I obey!” replied the Dalek.

Back in the TARDIS, Sty sat in the console room as the Doctor worked to find Omega’s next stop after Irk. Tysar came in. “Well?” asked Tysar.

“…Earth,” replied the Doctor. “Omega went to a place called Monster Island. …Looks like three chronal surges are centered there. …Now, about Sty…” The Doctor headed over to the Irken. “…Sty, you’ve been through a lot,” she said. “And I know you had no choice but to come with us when you’d rather be back with your own people-.”

“Doctor, my world was torn apart!” replied Sty. “My people slaughtered!”

“I know,” soothed the Doctor. “And I see in your eyes that you want to help somehow. To do something. …Sty, we can’t go back and undo what the Daleks have done to the Irken Empire, but maybe, somehow, we can stop greater tyrants than them from ruining more worlds. …Omega was on your world and was trying to cause chaos through the Grouping. If the Grouping isn’t settled, then imagine what Omega will set his sights on next. …You don’t have to come with me though. …That goes for you too, Tysar. Omega knows I’m after him. I brought the fight to Omega, and I’ll fight him alone if need be.”

“You will not!” protested Tysar. “I have something to say to the man myself! And Doctor, I think Ariel is proof that your judgement is…a bit flawed when you’re alone.”

“…Ariel…that was…the red-headed woman, yes?” asked Sty.

“Yes,” confirmed the Doctor. “She asked me to save someone even if I couldn’t save the entire Irken race.”

“…Then I’d best make sure her pleas were not in vain,” decided Sty. “We must pursue Omega!”

“…Thank you. Both of you.” The Doctor then set the coordinates. “2026, Island off the coast of Japan, here we go!” The TARDIS then spun through the Time Vortex with purpose.

“SHE IS AN ENEMY OF THE DALEKS!” reminded another Dalek aboard the Saucer.

“SHE MUST BE EXTERMINATED!” urged the Saucer Commander.

“NO!” argued the Dalek Supreme.

“…No?!” asked the Saucer Commander. “She is our greatest enemy! She must be exterminated before she sabotages the operation!”

“The Doctor cannot interfere in the destruction of Irk!” replied the Dalek Supreme. “The Laws of Time she upholds forbid her from interfering in fixed points in time! History indicates that only Tallest Zim survives! All other Irkens are exterminated! Her presence does not change things!”

“But the Doctor will urge the Martians to take Zim away!”

“Then so be it! This will be a victory over the Doctor! Alert Dalek Spearhead! The Doctor is not to be exterminated! Obey! OBEY!!”

“I…obey!” replied the Saucer Commander.

The transport continued on its way rapidly through the capital city of Irk. “Of all the things to spawn from there, why did Skaro have to produce the Daleks?”

“Skaro? Is that their home planet?” asked Sty.

“That’s correct,” replied the Doctor. “The same ancestral home world as Tysar’s people, the Thals.”

“The Daleks are our ancient enemies,” explained Tysar. “We’ve opposed even their humanoid ancestors, the Kaleds.”

“The Thals’ war against the Kaleds went nuclear,” continued the Doctor, “then a lunatic Kaled scientist called Davros mutated his people into the Daleks.”

“Y-You mean there’s…something alive in those things?!” shuddered Ariel.

“Imagine those polyps of Ursula’s had become so warped by hate and that she slapped them into a tank that’s powered by psychokinetic energy from the polyp,” said the Doctor.

“They’re the scourge of the universe,” said Sty, “and we have to resist them!” The Doctor placed her hand on her face in thought.

“…We have to get Zim off this planet,” she said.

“Yes. The Tallest must survive…even though Tallest Tak proved to be better at…sorry. Bit sore about Tak’s loss in the Irken Civil War.”

“What happened to her after the war?” asked the Doctor.

“She was subjected to an Existence Evaluation,” replied Sty. “She failed it somehow and she was killed while her PAK’s data was erased.”

“But the Control Brains weren’t operating at full capacity during the Civil War,” recalled the Doctor.

“That’s why I say the judgement was flawed. But anyone that looks too deeply is reassigned to degrading positions.” The transport then arrived. “Come on!” Everyone left the transport.

“Naturally, we wouldn’t dream of encroaching on Irken Territory,” Tyr’ahnee said to Zim, “but we WOULD prefer to know when you intend to conquer a planet.”

“Of course, the same will apply to you,” said Zim. “That just leaves settling disputes on if we intend to conquer the same planet.”

“…Perhaps a joint conquest and the conquered chooses who will be their tyrant?” suggested Tyr’ahnee.

“That actually sounds fun!” purred Zim. “But how to-?” The Doctor and her group then burst into the room. “What the-?! SECURITY!” shouted Zim. “DO WE NO LONGER HAVE IT?!”

“My Tallest-!” urged Sty.

“SILENCE!” shouted Zim.

“With respect, I need to-!”

“You DARE disobey your Almighty Tallest?! You know, Invader Sty, perhaps I should reassign you to-!”

“THE DALEKS ARE ON IRK!” Sty finally said. Everyone turned to Sty. “…Sizz-Lorr was nothing but a Dalek Duplicate that set up a transmat so its masters could just stroll onto Irk and begin their campaign! It’s likely THEY are the ones behind the destruction of the Empire!”

“LIES!” shouted Zim.

“Truth, I can assure you, Zim,” said the Doctor. “You and the Martians need to evacuate Irk!”

“Doctor, why should I believe an enemy?! You have thwarted me twice over and will NOT get the opportunity to thwart me a-!”

“My Tallest!” called an Irken running communications.

“CAN I GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE?!” shouted Zim as he pointed his gun at the offending Irken.

“Forgive me,” said the Irken, “but our outposts have reported that saucer-shaped ships are entering our space! The design of the ships matches Dalek aesthetics!”

“What?! They wouldn’t dare!” protested Zim.

“They would and they will,” sighed the Doctor.

“My Tallest, the Doctor insists that you evacuate Irk,” said Sty. “Why, I don’t know.”

“I’m not leaving until I get answers!” snarled Zim. “Send a message to the Dalek fleet!”

“The Daleks are sparing us the effort,” replied the Communications Irken. “THEY are contacting US.”

“They can’t resist a gloat,” sighed Tysar.

“Open a channel!” ordered Zim. A screen lowered itself into position and footage of the bridge of a Dalek Saucer appeared with the Dalek Supreme in the center.

“Attention, Irk!” it barked. “This is the Dalek Supreme aboard the Flagship of the Dalek Fleet approaching your world! Resistance is useless! Your time has come!”

“You’ve called to gloat,” called the Doctor. “Make it quick and be done with your mission here!”

“Doctor!” barked the Dalek Supreme.

“Dalek Supreme!” replied the Doctor. “If a member of the Dalek Supreme Council is here, your mission against the Irken Empire must be high on your Emperor’s list of priorities.”

“The new World Smasher class of vessel needs to be tested! You cannot prevent what is coming!”

“So that’s why you’re doing what history says you do, just to test out your new toy!”

“Pah! Inferior technology compared to the Irken Empire’s!” boasted Zim.

“If your superiority were true, you would have withstood our assault!” retorted the Dalek Supreme.

“You cannot destroy the Irken Empire! The Lords commanding those planets will prepare the counter-offensive and reclaim our territory-!”

“Duplicates of those under your command, Zim, have ensured that retaliation will be at its least effective! They served the Daleks in the purpose assigned to them, just as the duplicate of Sizz-Lorr did!”

“You’re lying!” insisted Zim.

“WE are responsible for the destruction of the planets of the Irken Empire! WE are responsible for the massacre of your people and vassals!”

“MORE FILTHY-!”

“They’re not lying, Zim!” interrupted the Doctor. “…The Daleks have been shrinking your empire and history didn’t know until I stumbled across this time to rescue Link, Zelda, and Ariel!”

“Doctor, you are permitted to rescue the victims of the Grouping!” barked the Dalek Supreme. “But you must hurry! The Dalek Death Squad that used the transmat the Sizz-Lorr duplicate built before its self-extermination is 500 rels from the main command center!”

“Doctor, if you value your life, you will assist us against the Daleks!” ordered Zim.

“I…I can’t,” sighed the Doctor.

“You will obey!”

“She cannot!” gloated the Dalek Supreme. “Before this day ends, Irk will be destroyed and your people will ALL be exterminated! The Irken Genocide is a fixed point in time! The Doctor cannot prevent this! All life is to bow down to the Daleks or else be exterminated!”

“Now I know you’re lying-!” snarled Zim.

“It’s not a lie!” called the Doctor. “…Zim, I’m sorry, but you MUST go with Tyr’ahnee and Marvin. The Irken races dies today with you being the only survivor and there’s nothing I can do to prevent it without breaking the laws of time.” Zim stared at the Doctor in horror.

“You…You have to be lying!” he insisted.

“Time Lords cannot lie about the Laws of Time they hold dear,” remarked Tyr’ahnee. Zim…stumbled. His whole empire…destined to fall?

“Now you understand!” barked the Dalek Supreme. “Fight or surrender, it makes no difference! You will be exterminated! Doctor, 400 rels remain!” The call then ended. Zim thought for just a second.

“…Ready all weapons!” he ordered. “We’re at war!”

“Irken Defenses are being raised!” reported a Dalek to the Supreme.

“That does not matter!” replied the Dalek Supreme. “Quantum fluctuations in this time period still indicate Dalek victory!”

“Dalek Spearhead reports that Tallest Consort is approaching!”

“Her survival is unimportant! Exterminate!”

Gaz Membrane had an Irken blaster in her hands and her PAK’s legs were fully extended, making her look like an unholy demon of flesh and steel. No sooner did she round a corner than the Dalek Spearhead arrived. “HALT!” shouted the Battle Commander. Gaz aimed her gun fired right at the eyestalk, taking the dome clean off!

“ALERT! ALERT! SPEARHEAD LEADER DESTROYED! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!!” shrieked the Battle Commander’s subordinate. The Daleks fired, but the legs from Gaz’s PAK kept her out of the line of fire. Another Dalek was shot in the dome, giving the thing a terminal headache. Then…Gaz noticed something.

“Wait, I shot two and you guys were six,” she said. “There’s only three of you left though. Where’s the fourth?”

“EXTERMINATE!” One of the Daleks had engaged its flight mode and snuck behind her, striking her right in the PAK and bathing her in the usual cold cyan light as her skeleton was briefly illuminated. She screamed in agony and her PAK’s legs gave out, causing her to collapse in an undignified heap. “Tallest Consort exterminated!” reported the flying Dalek as it set itself back onto the ground.

“Satisfactory!” replied the new Spearhead Leader. “Proceed! The Doctor is not to be harmed! Exterminate all others!”

“We obey!” replied its subordinates.

The prisoners were brought to Zim and Tyr’ahnee. “You caused quite a lot of noise, Doctor!” hissed Zim.

“So the rumors of Time Lords changing their faces are true, then?” asked Marvin.

“Well, I seem to recall you falling for Bugs Bunny’s disguise as Tyr’ahnee over there,” replied the Doctor, “so-.”

“Bunny?!” asked Tyr’ahnee. She turned on Marvin. “Our exile from Mars was because of a BUNNY?!”

“That rabbit’s clever, Your Majesty!” protested Marvin as he blushed, remembering the incident with the Ice Warriors. “…All right, so that IS the Doctor. What happened to the pink hedgehog?”

“She’s back in her home time,” replied the Doctor. “I think the real question is what are you lot doing on Irk? When did you make an alliance with the Irken Empire?”

“Desperate times forge strange alliances, Time Lord,” replied Tyr’ahnee.

“Well, take it from someone who’s been in your future, you should abandon the idea and get off of Irk as quickly as possible.”

“You should be familiar with the human expression ‘fat chance’, given your reputation of defending them, Doctor.”

“Let’s just say that-,” said Tysar. The Doctor clamped a hand over her companion’s mouth.

“Just trust us, all right?” asked the Doctor.

“I’m going to need more than the word of an enemy,” said Zim, “to convince me that sending the Martians away is a good idea.”

“My Tallest!” called an Irken. “A ship from Foodcourtia has arrived! It is heavily damaged and its pilot is asking to speak with you about the destruction of Foodcourtia!”

“What?! Bring the pilot here!” ordered Zim. He growled as the Irken obeyed. “Foodcourtia! Of all planets!”

“How did it get destroyed?” muttered Tyr’ahnee. “I heard the gravity field increases thanks to so many customers that it creates a time dilation.”

“Some master of time, perhaps?” guessed Marvin. Zim’s antennae twitched.

“…You know, you’re not the first Time Lord to visit the Empire recently,” he remarked to the Doctor.

“You make it sound like Gallifrey is responsible for its destruction,” replied the Doctor.

“Why not? Your TARDIS’s can handle the effects of the Great Foodening Queen Tyr’ahnee was talking about.”

“Tallest Zim, I can assure you, we are NOT responsible for the shrinking of your empire. We’re still in a state of reconstruction.”

“Then why would this Omega character be on Foodcourtia?” The Doctor’s gaze darkened.

“Omega is a renegade,” she explained. “He’s behind the Grouping, yes, but not behind your current problem. Let me send Ariel, Zelda, and Link back to their proper points in space-time, then give me any information you have on Omega and I’ll stop him from messing up your empire’s timeline.”

“Doctor, a word,” said Tysar. The Doctor and Tysar went to a corner to whisper to each other. “Are you sure Omega’s not behind this?”

“The Irken Genocide had evidence of conventional weaponry, not Gallifreyan,” replied the Doctor. “Something else will be behind what’s coming.” Just then, the door opened. The Irkens were helping a tall and fat Irken in a fry cook’s uniform with an apron and hat walk into the room, thanks to all the battle damage he sustained.

“Fry Lord Sizz-Lorr,” greeted Zim.

“M-My Tallest!” gasped Sizz-Lorr. “T-Terror is…is coming! F-Foodcourtia…destroyed! Gravity…resulted in…black hole! I was…only survivor!”

“Sizz-Lorr, who would destroy Foodcourtia?” asked the Doctor.

“D…D…D…the sauce…!” Sizz-Lorr collapsed before he could reveal anything.

“Get him to the medical center!” ordered Zim. “He can explain himself when he’s awake!” Tysar, having overheard everything like the others, had a nasty theory in her head.

“…God, I hope not,” she muttered.

The Doctor and her group were locked up in a cell with the TARDIS being taken away. “Drat,” muttered the Doctor. “Now we’re in for it. History says that only the Irken race dies today. If Tyr’ahnee and Marvin die, time is fractured!”

“Doctor, are you absolutely sure that-?!” urged Ariel.

“I can’t…interfere with history like that. …Not again.” The Time Lord Victorious went to the forefront of the Doctor’s mind.

“Can’t you save SOMEONE?!” asked Link.

“…All I can safely save is Zim,” sighed the Doctor. “And you lot. Everyone else, I’m…I’m bound by the laws of time not to.”

“That’s not fair!” protested Ariel.

“In an ideal world, I wouldn’t give a second thought to saving them!” snapped the Doctor. “…But tragedies need to happen! Ursula and Morgana’s respective schemes are a part of YOUR history! Zelda’s kidnappings are a part of her history, no matter how many times the timeline is reset! Power and heroism being forced on Link when he’d rather have a simple life is a part of his history! Tysar landing in Gotham is a part of her history! My stumbling on Skaro and giving my greatest enemies a shot at becoming a temporal power is a part of my history! Ariel, we can’t undo the tragedies of our lives, otherwise we fail to learn the lessons from them and something worse will taint our world-view! Maybe…somehow…we can prevent future tragedies like what’s coming from happening. …You all should be safe in the TARDIS when we get out. I brought this mystery to Irk…and I’ll solve it alone if I have to.”

“You will not!” protested Zelda. “You’ll probably make a beastly mess of things.”

“And you’ll need me around to tidy that mess up!” urged Tysar.

“…Looks like we have to solve the mystery before things get out of hand,” decided Link.

“…We’d better get on with it then,” sighed Ariel, feeling helpless. “And we better figure it out quickly before our names are added to the list of casualties.”

“…Thank you. All of you,” said the Doctor. “…Come on!” She then pulled out her sonic screwdriver.

“…They didn’t take it?” asked Tysar.

“Well, they didn’t take my shield and the Master Sword,” replied Link as he drew his sword.

“Their arrogance is usually their undoing,” remarked the Doctor. She buzzed the lock again and the door opened. “There we go! Come along! We’ve got work to…” She trailed off when she saw Sizz-Lorr walking down the hall, seemingly without pain despite all the scarring. “…Shouldn’t he be laid up in the medical lab?” pondered the Doctor aloud.

“Something’s not right with that man,” remarked Zelda.

“Come along. We’ll follow him.” The group cautiously followed Sizz-Lorr until he arrived at a storage barn. There was a hissing sound and his belly opened up!

“That’s not the real Sizz-Lorr?” asked Ariel.

“No,” confirmed the Doctor. “Some robotic duplicate? …Hang on. …That word he used just before he collapsed. …Something about sauce…and he was trying to say something that started with the letter D.” The Doctor then saw Sizz-Lorr take parts for something out of his belly and assemble something. Her eyes widened. “A transmat!”

“A what?” asked Ariel.

“Matter transmission, teleportation,” explained Tysar. “But from wh-?”

“Your people’s ancestral home-world!” replied the Doctor. “Sizz-Lorr’s a duplicate! The real one must have been killed during the destruction of Foodcourtia!”

“Doctor, you don’t mean-!” protested Tysar.

“Transmat complete, Masters,” droned Sizz-Lorr. He then stood silently as he received orders. “…I obey. Termination in three…two…one.” He then sparked and collapsed as the transmat warmed up!

“I obey!” shuddered Tysar. “The words of their slaves and what they say to their superiors!”

“Who?!” asked Link. “Who’s got you so spooked?!” Link got his answer as several shapes appeared on the transmat. The shapes solidified into a foe the Doctor and Tysar know all too well.

“Transmat transference complete!” barked the Battle Commander. “All Duplicates have reported successful sabotage of Irken Homeworld Defense Network! Proceed! Crush all resistance! Exterminate all life-forms! EXTERMINATE!”

“We obey!” replied the subordinates. They all then chanted “SEEK! LOCATE! EXTERMINATE! SEEK! LOCATE! EXTERMINATE!”

“Daleks!” hissed the Doctor. “We have to get out of here!”

“They’re just machines!” protested Link. “I can-!”

“Link, the Daleks have the superior weaponry and strategic advantage!” protested Tysar. “We have to go!”

“There’s a transport over there!” called Zelda as she pointed out an Irken supply vehicle.

“Everybody, to the transport! NOW!” ordered the Doctor. Everyone ran towards the transport.

“Life-forms detected!” called a Dalek.

“Halt! HALT!” shouted the Battle Commander. “EXTERMINATE!”

“EXTERMINATE! ANNIHILATE! DESTROY!” chanted the Daleks as they opened fire! Unfortunately, a few Irkens got caught in the crossfire!

“What’s all the rack-?!” Sty demanded as she arrived. One look at the invading force answered her question! “DALEKS!”

“Listen, Invader…!” called the Doctor.

“Invader Sty!”

“Invader Sty, we need to evacuate Zim from Irk! And the Martians too!”

“…Ordinarily, I’d throw you back into your cells and do what the guards should have done,” said Sty, “but we’re all united against the Daleks! Get on that transport!” Sty bundled them all onto the transport.

“Biological reports compiled!” reported a Dalek aboard one of the Daleks’ Saucers. The commanding Dalek was the Black and Gold Dalek Supreme.

“Summarize!” barked the Dalek Supreme.

“Non-Irkens were detected! Martians were the primary discovery as they were in the process of forming a mutual defense compact with the Irken Empire! Five other humanoids were detected! Pathweb has discovered a familiarity of one of the humanoids!”

“Display humanoid!” The Doctor’s image appeared via hologram. “Identify!” Just then, holograms of the Doctor’s previous incarnations appeared, along with all the titles the Daleks gave her.

“IT IS THE DOCTOR!” shrieked a Dalek.

Irk, the homeworld of the Irken Race and capital planet of their empire, an empire of hedonism that serves only the rulers instead of the people and those they’ve conquered. Right now, though, there was trouble in the empire and their ruler, the Almighty Tallest Zim, was going through reports to try and figure out why the empire was shrinking! His ally, the Tallest Consort, the human known as Gaz Membrane, stormed into his office. “Zim, you have GOT to figure this crap out!” she snarled.

“I’m aware of Videogamia being destroyed,” replied Zim. “We’re still looking for a pattern.”

“We need MORE than a pattern! We need new planets! Zim, the empire is shrinking by the day!”

“You think I don’t know that?!” snapped Zim.

“Did you also know that there’s an alien vessel in geostationary orbit?!” demanded Gaz.

“Has it been identified?” asked Zim.

“The translators are saying it’s called the Martian Maggot,” replied Gaz.

“A Martian ship?” Zim then stood up. “Let them land. I’m expecting them.”

“Zim?” asked Gaz.

“Queen Tyr’ahnee Mirkin,” explained Zim, “has also reported that her empire is shrinking, so we’re entering into a mutual defense compact.”

“We don’t need help from outsi-!”

“This coming from the HUMAN, need I remind you?” interrupted Zim. Gaz zipped it. “Come on. We must greet them.”

Tyr’ahnee and her faithful commander, Marvin, stepped off the ship once Zim and Gaz arrived. “Welcome, Queen Tyr’ahnee,” greeted Zim.

“So, this is the center of the Irken Empire,” remarked Tyr’ahnee. “Is that a human by your side?”

“This is the Tallest Consort, Gaz Membrane,” replied Zim.

“Definitely a human name,” said Tyr’ahnee. “Now, perhaps we should begin discussions on what could cause our empires to shrink.”

“Indeed,” agreed Zim. “Your commander will need to understand the layout of the empire as it stands, of course.” He turned to an Irken. “You! Give the Martian Queen’s commander full access.”

“At once, my Tallest,” replied the Irken. He turned to Marvin. “This way, please.”

“Very touching,” replied Marvin as he followed the Irken. Just then, another Irken, slightly shorter than the one leading Marvin, approached Zim.

“My Tallest, I have news!” she said.

“Not now, Invader Sty!” hissed Zim.

“But it concerns unauthorized life-forms on Irk-!” Zim grabbed the shorter Irken.

“Not! In front! Of the Martians!” he hissed. “Deal with the problem!” He then tossed the Irken aside. The Irken picked herself up.

“A-As you command, My Tallest,” she said. She then headed off.

“…Perhaps a robot force could quell any dissent, once this affair is over,” offered Tyr’ahnee.

“That…actually sounds like a good idea,” remarked Zim.

The Irken, Invader Sty, approached the troops under her command. “We’re dealing with the intruders ourselves,” she said.

“But Ma’am-!” protested one of her troops.

“Orders from Zim,” she said. “Nothing we can do. Arm weapons.” The Irkens obeyed.

“What was that?!” yelped a voice.

“It…sounds like those firearms I saw on Kamino,” said another.

“Stay behind me, you two!” finished a third.

“Link, that shield-!” The second speaker couldn’t finish as a man in a green tunic and pointed hat with pointy ears, a sword, and a shield rounded the corner.

“Stun blasts only! FIRE!” ordered Sty. The man raised his shield, but the weapons fire knocked it off his arm and another shot hit him in the chest, stunning him.

“LINK!” called the second speaker. This one was a woman with pointy ears like the man and wore a blue dress. The last person, the first speaker, was a woman with blood-red hair in a pink dress. The two women were hit with the Irkens’ stun weapons.

“Now what?” asked an Irken.

“Take them to the cells,” ordered Sty. “The Almighty Tallest will deal with them later.”

The red-head was the first to wake up. “Oof!” she groaned. “What was that shark’s name?!” Her vision cleared to see the two pointy-eared people lying unconscious next to her. “Oh my fins!” she yelped. She then lightly slapped the cheek of the woman. “Hey, are you all right?!” The woman groaned and opened her eyes. She looked up…then her memory slowly came back to her!

“…Another chronal surge!” she said. “And this time, Link was-! LINK!” She sat up and rushed to the man in the green tunic. “Link, are you all right?!” The man…snored. “…Of course you’d take a nap,” sighed the pointy-eared woman. She then seized the man’s ear. “GET UP, LINK!” she shouted, startling the man awake.

“YOW! HEY! EASY!” protested the man. “Sheesh, my ears are ringing, Princess!”

“Link, we need to get out of here!” insisted the woman. “We-!”

“Where IS here?” asked the red-head. “And who ARE you two? Are you elves?”

“…Why does everyone ask that?” sighed the man. “No, we’re Hylians from the Kingdom of Hyrule. I’m Link, the Hero of Hyrule.”

“And I’m Zelda, Hyrule’s Princess,” introduced the woman.

“Another Princess?!” gasped the red-head. “Nice to meet you! I’m Ariel, Princess of Atlantica!”

“A pleasure to meet you, Princess Ariel,” greeted Zelda. “Now, were you just minding your own business at home when an energy wave suddenly washed over you and pulled you through a vortex until you found yourself here with us?”

“…Y-Yes, that’s exactly what happened,” said Ariel. “But…how did you-?”

“A friend called the Doctor called it a Chronal Surge,” explained Zelda. “That energy wave takes you out of your usual point in space and time and plops you somewhere and somewhen else. I went through that once before and ended up on Kamino during the Clone Wars.”

“…You went to the Star Wars galaxy?” asked Ariel. “I think Disney’s lawyers would have something to say about tha…anyone else hear that?”

“Hey, isn’t that the-?” asked Link. A blue box then appeared in the hall.

“The TARDIS!” confirmed Zelda. “Excellent! The Doctor’s still on the case!” Speaking of whom, the Doctor stepped out with Tysar.

“All right, the TARDIS said those Chronal Surges brought their victims here, so-.” The Doctor then looked into the cell to see Zelda, Link, and Ariel. “…Well, that makes the job easier.”

“Hey, I remember you!” gasped Ariel. “You hosted that impromptu Whose Line is it Anyway show in the Magic Kingdom!”

“That I did!” replied the Doctor. She then saw Zelda and Link. “Zelda! Link! Hello again!”

“…Lady, I don’t remember seeing you before,” replied Link.

“No, no, Link, that’s the Doctor that helped me get back from Kamino!” explained Zelda.

“Hang on, THAT’S the Doctor?!” yelped Link.

“You snogged Zelda after she became the last segment of the Key to Time, yes?” quizzed the Doctor. “Right in my TARDIS after she came back and she mentioned an outfit you have? A cute one?”

“My Gerudo Vai outfit, yeah!” replied Link. “It IS you! But how-?!”

“No time to explain regenerations,” interrupted the Doctor as she pulled out the Sonic Screwdriver.

“You’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, to put it lightly,” explained Tysar as the Doctor worked on the cell doors. “This world…is about to die. So are its people.”

“What?!” asked Zelda. By then, the door was unlocked.

“This is the Irken Homeworld,” explained the Doctor, “the capital of those little green men you doubtlessly saw when you were thrown in there, and around this time, a horrible force kills the entire Irken Empire, all but one, Zim, the current leader.” Everyone stepped out of the cell and Link drew the Master Sword.

“Well, his people treated us roughly,” he said, “but that’s no excuse.”

“Pardon?” asked the Doctor.

“Link’s right,” agreed Zelda. “We can’t let innocents suffer.”

“Then let’s get them the help they need and-!” cheered Ariel.

“What ARE you talking about?’ asked the Doctor.

“…Th…The evacuation,” replied Ariel. “We have to save those people! Make it so that there’s no genocide!”

“Except we CAN’T do that!” urged the Doctor as she turned to the TARDIS. “Come on! Into the TARDIS, all of you!”

“Now wait a minute!” argued Link. “What in Hylia’s name are you trying to pull here?!”

“Doctor, we HAVE to help the Irkens!” pleaded Zelda.

“Not this time!” replied the Doctor. “Link, Ariel, Zelda, I’m sorry, but the Irken Genocide is a fixed point in time! What happens, happens! There is NO stopping it!” The Doctor turned back to the TARDIS again, but was yanked back by Ariel.

“Says who?!” she demanded.

“Says me!” retorted the Doctor.

“What, and you’re in charge?!”

“TARDIS, Time Lord, YEAH!”

“Ariel, Mermaid turned human, NO!” That’s TWO red-heads the Doctor had that argument with. “I don’t need your permission! I’ll tell the Irkens myself!”

“You try it, they’ll just dismiss you out of hand and vaporize you for telling primitive lies!” retorted the Doctor. “Now come on! TARDIS! We’re getting out of here!”

“I’ve got something to say about that, Time Girl!” snarled Link.

“Oh, I bet you do!”

“GUYS!” shouted Tysar.

“WHAT?!” asked everyone. Then they saw the Irkens and Marvin.

“…Martians?!” gasped the Doctor. “…Damn, now I NEED to stay on Irk!”