A man stepped out of a cabinet hidden in a rocket silo, grumbling. “Insolent magma-slinging idiot!” he snarled. “Why I chose to help her is beyond me! She’s provided no help in locating Omega! Honestly, I should have gone back to Gallifrey and joined the CIA! Perhaps I can-!” His wrist communicator beeped. “Oh, what now?!” He checked the readings. “…Okay, oncoming chronal surges in three…two…one…” The energy waves passed over him. He then checked his wrist communicator again. “Let’s see what…someone from this island chain’s past, I see. …Wait, what’s the other…oh…OH!” A wicked grin then crossed his face. “Now HIM, I can use! Time to see if the Doctor picks up…and then we can conclude this experiment!”
“There’s no way the humans can reclaim this place,” remarked Marie as she and her cousin Callie and their commanding officer patrolled Alterna, a place meant for human safety that flooded and killed the remaining humans there. “There’s too much to replace and Mr. Grizz took everything with him when he went on that space mission.”
“Come on, Marie!” replied Callie. “Have a little faith!”
“I DO have faith,” retorted Marie, “faith that Alterna can’t be used again for the humans.”
“Cut the chatter, you two,” said the Captain, the original Agent Three of the New Squidbeak Splatoon. “The thefts lead to this place and we need to catch the guy.” Just then, a noise filled the air.
“Hang on, you hear that?” asked Marie.
“It sounds like…the TARDIS!” gasped Callie.
“If it is, what’s she doing back here?” quizzed Marie.
“Let’s follow the noise,” said the Captain. The trio arrived the instant the TARDIS fully materialized. Out stepped the Doctor.
“…How odd,” she muttered. “I was sure we landed in Inkadia. The technology seems too human.”
“You ARE in Inkadia, Doctor,” called Marie as she, Callie, and the Captain approached.
“Callie! Marie!” greeted the Doctor. She then looked into the TARDIS. “Come on out! We made it!” Tysar stepped out.
“Hello again!” she greeted the Squid Sisters.
“Nice to see you again!” cheered Callie. “What’s happening?”
“The Grouping, sadly,” sighed the Doctor. “But at least we know the cause. Tell me, have any of you-?”
“Hold up!” said Marie as she closed her umbrella and used it to point at Sty as she stepped out of the TARDIS. “What’s an Irken doing hanging around with you?!”
“Oh, joy, our botched invasion is still fresh in your minds,” muttered Sty.
“Botched or not, you bugs-!”
“Marie!” barked the Captain. “…Save it. You said so yourself that the Doctor has her reasons.” Marie glared at the Captain.
“…Aye, Sir,” she hissed.
“In any event, we have a more pressing priority,” said the Doctor. “Have any of you seen a chap called Omega?”
“…Now that you mention it, yeah,” recalled Callie. “We saw him just jump into a box and then it vanished, making the same noise as your TARDIS.”
“So he’s got a ramshackle TARDIS,” mused the Doctor. “That would explain all the chronal surges as he leaves.”
“You don’t think he’s trying to get to your home planet, do you?” asked Sty.
“Possibly,” replied the Doctor. “And TARDIS’s built from spare parts don’t automatically have Gallifrey’s coordinates in their data-banks.”
“Don’t you just have it as 0 or something on your maps?” asked Tysar.
“No, we used our galaxy’s center to plot our position in the cosmos. That placed us at one point at 10-0-11-0-0/0-2 from Galactic Zero Center.”
“…At one point?” repeated Sty.
“Discussion for another time,” said the Doctor.
“I thought I overheard Omega say something about a popstar,” said Callie, “though he didn’t seek any of us out for autographs.”
“That wouldn’t make sense,” said the Doctor. “What use would singing do for his plans? It makes no sense.”
“We haven’t exactly seen any reports of anyone missing,” continued Marie.
“Then be on the lookout for new arrivals,” replied the Doctor. “They’ll be arriving here any-.” The familiar energy wave of a chronal surge washed over everyone. They then heard a crash.
“Ite!” groaned a voice.
“…That was Japanese,” remarked the Doctor. “That was how the Japanese said ‘ow’.”
“Someone from our past?” guessed the Captain.
“Most likely,” said the Doctor. “Come on!” The group followed the noise to see a Japanese man in a doctor’s coat with what looked like an advanced stethoscope draped behind his neck and across his shoulders. The Doctor took a scan with her sonic screwdriver. “…He’s suffered some blunt force trauma somehow,” she said.
“We better find the guy that-!” decided Callie.
“NO!” called the man. “No, no, no one attacked me. I just…tripped and bashed my head against the wall here.”
“Well, better check for a concussion,” said the Doctor. “Unlikely, though. It was shorter than 30 seconds between the moment you said ‘Ite’ and the moment you just spoke. Let me see your eyes.” The man went along with the whole check. “…Speech is fine, pupils are the same size, no seizure or convulsion, no throwing up, now all we need is your name.”
“I’m Dr. Hojo Emu, from the pediatrics department of Seito University Hospital,” introduced the man.
“And that matches your id tag,” replied the Doctor. “It also says that you were hired in 2016.”
“That’s when I started my internship,” replied Emu. He then blinked when he saw the Squid Sisters and the Captain. “…Maybe I DO have a concussion. I think I’m seeing Inklings!”
“How do you know about us?” asked the Captain. “You’re WAY into the future.”
“EH?!” yelped Emu. “Then how-?!”
“Someone at Nintendo must have had a powerful enough imagination to go through time and make the Inklings and their struggles against Octavio,” replied the Doctor.
“Nintendo? What’s that?” asked Marie.
“Video game corporation,” explained Tysar. “From right here on this island chain.”
“Someone made a video game based on us?!” asked Callie excitedly. “Am I a playable character?!”
“N-No,” replied Emu, “but if I recall, your Captain is. The first game was about his fight against Octavio when he was Agent Three.”
“Aw!” complained Callie.
“But that song you and Marie do is pretty famous among us gamers! The Calamari Inkantation!”
“No kidding?” said Marie with a smile.
“Right, well, Emu-san,” said the Doctor, “we need to get you back to your time. You see-.” She then heard something.
“…That’s the Octarian War Language!” realized the Captain.
“INCOMING!” warned Sty as she pointed out Octarians of all kinds!
“Ah, SQUID!” cursed the Captain. “We’re outnumbered! Take cover!” The group took cover.
“Really wish I hadn’t removed my PAK’s weapons systems!” grumbled Sty.
“How strong are a PAK’s legs?” asked Tysar.
“The legs are strong enough, it’s my own strength I’m worried about,” replied Sty. “I can’t carry everyone at the same time and getting everyone to safety one at a time will take too long!”
“You get Tysar to higher ground!” ordered the Doctor.
“Bad idea!” replied Callie. “They’ve got Air Units as well! I can see an Octostriker among them!” The commander of the enemy Octarians said something…then a shrieking howl filled the area! The Octarian commander then said something and the army retreated with the commander bringing up the rear.
“…Well, the commander cares about their troops,” mused Marie.
“What WAS that?!” shuddered Tysar.
“Stay here,” said the Doctor as she left.
“Doctor, get back!” hissed Sty. The Doctor looked around and saw a figure in brown robes with a cowl over their head. She squinted in an attempt to see the figure’s face, then the figure made it easier for her as they pulled the cowl back to reveal an old man with a beard. A smile spread across the Doctor’s face.
“Hello there,” greeted the old man. “I see you haven’t aged a day since the Sontarans on Kamino, Doctor.”
“Everyone, come out!” called the Doctor. Her team stepped out of hiding and Tysar goggled in surprise.
“Master Obi-wan?!” she gasped.
“Good to see you again, Tysar,” replied the old man, Obi-wan Kenobi. “So, it seems I’ve been caught up in a Chronal Surge much like Zelda had.”
“You met Zelda?” asked Sty.
“Indeed I have, Little One,” confirmed Obi-wan. Sty bristled.
“Master Kenobi,” interjected the Doctor, “may I present my newest addition to Team TARDIS, Sty of the Irken Empire.”
“Last of the Irkens,” corrected Sty.
“…Not really a title I’d wish on anyone,” remarked the Doctor. “Anyways, yes, Obi-wan, you’ve been caught up in a Chronal Surge. You’re far from your native galaxy and far into the future. Thankfully, I can get you back, just like this young man.” She pointed to Emu. “Now, we DO need to check if-.”
“Excuse me!” called a new voice. The man revealed himself. “May I ask which one of you is the Doctor from Gallifrey?”
“…Not many people think to ask if I come from that planet,” remarked the Doctor. “Do you have an appointment?”
“My name is Rexavendurasetalmad,” replied the man, “but you may call me Rex.”