The Doctor looked up when she heard noises from upstairs. “Oh no!” realized the Doctor.
“Wait, you don’t think-?!” gulped Amy.
“It’s Zim! He’s out of his coma!” confirmed the Doctor.
“He can’t even move!” gasped Lurra Rus. “Is the base-?!”
“We’ll discuss possibilities later! Right now, we need to convince Tak-!” Just then, a transmission came through. It was Tak!
“Time Lord, what is the meaning of this?!” she demanded. “The Control Brain assigned to Zim indicated that he was fully cognizant!”
“That’s because he is!” replied the Doctor. “Tak, I tried to warn you! His zealotry has gone overboard! He’s going to think that HE was handed the role of Tallest by fate! You know the cellular reconstruction will-!”
“I will suffer no threats to my rule!” snarled Tak. “And Earth will pay for this!”
“NO! NO! PLEASE, JUST HEAR ME-!” Tak wasn’t listening! She ended the call just as the Doctor heard a mound of flesh hit the floor. “No, it’s happening too fast!”
“I must thank you, Doctor!” cackled Zim. “If you hadn’t come, I’d still be stuck in a coma!”
“Zim, please! You must listen!” begged the Doctor.
“I’ve listened long enough! I am destined to be the new Tallest! I SHALL MAKE THE IRKEN EMPIRE ETERNAL!”
“But Irk is still rebuilding! The Control Brains-!”
“Have proved worthless! I shall be better than the Control Brains!”
“Cellular reconstruction will now begin,” droned the computer. Zim was then forcibly shoved into a glass tube that barely managed to avoid cracking from his bulk!
“Blast! I’m going to have to try something!” muttered the Doctor. She tried keying in commands.
“Doctor, what are you doing?” asked Amy.
“I’m trying to delay his cellular reconstruction by about five years!” replied the Doctor. “Hopefully, Tak will be in a listening mood by then!” By then, Dib came back down.
“Doctor, what’s going on?” he asked.
“She’s trying to extend Zim’s cellular reconstruction by five years,” replied Lurra Rus.
“Hopefully, by then, the Doctor can actually have a conversation with Tak before the Irkens arrive,” finished Amy.
“We don’t HAVE five years!” protested Dib.
“How do you figure, Dib?” asked the Doctor.
“I had already intercepted an Irken transmission detailing Zim’s mission six months before he arrived!” explained Dib.
“WHAT?! But it says in his inventory that he has a Voot Cruiser! That’s wildly out of date these days! The FTL drive must have been junk!”
“Doctor, if it took Zim six months to get here-!” gulped Amy.
“It will take the Irken Armada less time!” confirmed the Doctor.
Unfortunately, the Doctor was right. The new Irken Armada was en route already! “Maintain course,” ordered Tak. “I want to be there as soon as possible!”
“Yes, my Tallest!” replied the helmsman. “Estimated time of arrival: two hours!” Tak grumbled, but she couldn’t blame the helmsman.
“Given our current state of affairs, I’m not surprised,” she said.
“My Tallest, surely we’re ready for conquest now!” urged a soldier.
“Irk still needs to recover from the diminishment of the Control Brains,” answered Tak with a dismissive wave of her hand.
“But we’ve been denying the instinct to conquer for too long!” pleaded the soldier. “We must-!”
“Are you questioning your Tallest?” hissed Tak. “That would be most…unfortunate.”
“…N-No, my Tallest. My apologies, my Tallest.”
“Oh for-! My Tallest, the Doctor’s calling us again.” The comms officer sounded annoyed. Tak groaned.
“Ignore it,” she ordered.
“Happily, my Tallest,” replied the Comms officer.
“Blast, she’s not answering!” complained the Doctor. The computer then beeped. The Doctor checked and goggled. “…Infernal cheek!” she snarled. “The computer won’t let me delay the process!”
“You mean Zim’s still got two hours?” asked Dib.
“Unfortunately,” sighed the Doctor. “And UNIT’s bound to get trigger-happy once the Irken Armada arrives!”
“Can’t you play diplomat?” asked Amy. The Doctor then paused as an idea formed in her head.
“…I don’t think I can,” she said., “but maybe one of Irk’s few allies could help. Let’s see here.” The Doctor began her research and found a list. “AHA! There we are! Let’s see, Smegranians…no. They’re in their collective trance right now. …Tufanians…no. They’re not interested in things outside of hedonism. …Sontarans?! God no! …Wait…oh! OH HO HO HO! YES! PERFECT!”
“Doctor?!” asked Amy.
“Come along, everyone! We’re going topside!” The Doctor led everyone up.
They returned to the UNIT base and the Doctor found Kate. “Kate, are you still in contact with the Osgoods?”
“Of course. Why?” asked Kate.
“Because I have need of Petronella’s double and her people! They’re the key to making sure events take place as they should!”
“…Lieutenant, get me Greyhound Two,” Kate ordered a soldier. The man saluted and gave Kate a radio. Kate fiddled with the frequencies. “Greyhound One to Greyhound Two. Come in, Greyhound Two. Over.”
“Greyhound Two, receiving! Over!” replied a woman’s voice.
“Greyhound Two, the Doctor needs your assistance. I’m putting her on. Over.” Kate handed the Doctor the radio.
“Osgood, we have an Irken problem and your double’s people have a treaty with them,” explained the Doctor.
“What is the precise problem?” asked Osgood.
“Well, Exile Zim is currently undergoing cellular reconstruction that will make him an Almighty Tallest like Tak. Tak caught wind of it and now she’s bringing the Irken Armada here.”
“How long do we have?” asked Osgood.
“About two hours, give or take,” replied the Doctor.
“A time crunch as usual. We’ll see what we can do. Osgood out.” The call ended.
“All right, we have some breathing space,” said the Doctor.
“Doctor, what’s going on?!” asked Amy. “Who are you guys talking about?!”
“Do you know how many aliens live their lives in secret on Earth?” asked the Doctor. “Because there’s a plethora of them. There’s one race in particular that lives on Earth. I first met them at Loch Ness in Scotland. They were a more conquest minded sect that came up after the loss of their homeworld. The Irkens have a treaty with them that no planetary invasion conducted by the Irkens can include their colony worlds.”
“Do you think the Irkens will honor the treaty?” asked Kate.
“They’ll have to,” replied the Doctor. “Representatives of the Shadow Proclamation were witnesses to the treaty signing. Even someone as zealous to the Irken Empire’s ideals as Zim wouldn’t dare break the treaty.”
On the subject of Zim, two hours had passed. “Alert! Alert!” warned the computer. “Cellular reconstruction has been altered! Original height could not be achieved! Growth spurt has occurred! Height now equals that of the Tallest. Apologies, my Tallest!” The chamber opened and a green fog flooded the base. Out stepped a fully clothed Irken standing at 2.3 meters, 7’5”! Zim was now as tall as Tak!
“Why apologize, computer?” he asked. “You’ve served your Tallest well! Now, upgrade GIR to the current top of the line SIR model!”
“Unable to comply, Master!” replied the computer. “Unit GIR and Unit Minimoose have abandoned the base!”
“WHAT?! FOR WHAT REASON?!” demanded Zim.
“They’ve realized that the upgrade would change Unit GIR into a proper SIR unit. GIR has fled the base with Minimoose and-.”
“BAH! My Empire needs no deserters! Prepare to inform my people that-!”
“There is more. Tak is coming with the Irken Armada to kill us all.”
“What is her rule like?” asked Zim.
“She’s been focused on rebuilding Irk after the Great Control Brain Malfunction,” replied the computer. “No planets have been conquered or reconquered.”
“What?! She dares deny the Irkens our desire to conquer?! To bring planets under our heel?!”
“Half the Empire is grumbling about it, but they’re just waiting for the day to start what they dub as Operation Impending Doom III, regardless of how it’s planned. They WILL abandon Tak if that operation were to start under your rule.”
“The patience of those Irkens will be well rewarded if they join me!” Zim allowed himself an evil laugh.
“I hate to cut your laughter short, Master,” interjected the computer, “but there IS a wrinkle to both your plan and Tak’s. A monster has been identified in a lake the local humans call Loch Ness.”
“…How does that relate to-?”
“Apologies for interrupting,” said the computer, “but the monster matches the description of a Skarasen.”
“WHAT?!” yelped Zim. “The Zygons wouldn’t dare! Surely they wouldn’t dare claim THIS planet as a colony world!”
“The Doctor has been detected speaking to them. I think she knows about the Treaty of Zimtok V.”
“Oh no! I know her plan! She intends to delay my rise to power! Not this time! I’ll destroy her, destroy this planet, destroy Tak, AND RETURN THE IRKEN EMPIRE TO ITS FORMER GLORY! NO! A NEW GLORY! AN ETERNAL AGE OF GLORY!” Zim laughed as he stepped onto the elevator!