By the time Zim got out, the Irken Armada arrived. Earth appeared on the main screen. “Ugly little rock,” muttered Tak. “Conduct the usual scans. I’m positive the humans won’t offer anything in terms of slave labor.”
“Conducting planetary sweep,” replied the helmsman. The scans then revealed…something unusual. “…Hang on, that can’t be right.”
“What’s the matter?” asked Tak.
“The scans are saying there’s a Zygon presence on this rock!”
“WHAT?!” Tak stormed over to the helm console and checked. “That’s impossible! I didn’t find any Skarasen there when I first visited!”
“Apparently, it was masked until now,” replied the helmsman. “It looks like it was meant to be revealed only to Irken sensors.”
“Then Zim saw them too!” hissed Tak. “But how would they know we were-?!” A thought then struck her. “…Doctor!” she snarled. “SHE’S behind this!”
“Should we conduct our organic sweep, my Tallest?” asked a soldier.
“We can’t, not with Zygons having claimed it!” Tak then stroked her chin. “…But they can’t exactly interfere with us taking Zim’s head. Ready my Runner!”
“Doctor, Zim’s entering the streets!” warned Dib.
“And planetary sensors,” advised Kate, “indicate that a personal ship is entering Earth’s atmosphere on a direct course with Doomsville!”
“Right then, Brotok,” the Doctor said to a fat human, “you know what to do?”
“Leave it to us, Doctor,” replied the human. “We’ll sort out this Irken problem and at least delay any civil war for five years and keep it away from Earth.”
“Doctor, I hope this works!” urged Amy. “You DID say you fought the Zygons!”
“I fought aggressive sects of Zygons,” corrected the Doctor. “Brotok leads a sect that is more peaceful.” As the Doctor spoke, several humans, minus Brotok, shimmered out of view and in their places were solidly-built, earthy-colored humanoids with cone-shaped heads and covered in suckers. These were the true forms of the Zygons. Brotok smiled, still in his human disguise.
“Boy, are the Irkens in for a nasty surprise!” he purred.
“I’d really rather not have a battle between Irkens and Zygons,” urged the Doctor. Before Brotok could retort, Tak’s ship landed and she strode out. Zim then arrived; a manic grin plastered on his face.
“So, Tak the Terrible New Girl arrives!” he chuckled.
“Better being terrifying than being a failure like you!” retorted Tak. “But I have more pressing matters, like a certain beast found in that obscure lake miles from here.”
“I saw the Skarasen too, but the Zygons can wait! You’ve blunted the Empire for too long!”
“Blunted?! I am fixing what YOU broke!”
“Ah yes, the common duties of a Janitor Drone!” scoffed Zim. Tak snarled.
“When I’m done with you, Sizz-Lorr will be keeping you as his fast-food drone forever!” she vowed as her PAK gave her a gun!
“He couldn’t even get me back while I was an Invader! NOW I AM THE TALLEST! NOT YOU, YOU ELEVATOR-SHOE WEARING PIPSQUEAK!” Zim’s PAK handed him his gun. The two Tallest aimed their weapons…then the guns were shot out of their hands via bio-electric blasts! The two Irkens turned their heads and saw Brotok, still in his human disguise, with a platoon of Zygons flanking him.
“…Is this a joke?!” demanded Tak.
“No joke, Zim, Tak,” replied Brotok. “I am Warrior Engineer Brotok, authorized to speak on behalf of the Zygons living here.”
“And?” asked Zim.
“And it is my duty to inform you,” continued Brotok, “that you are on the wrong side of a Zygon planet’s atmosphere according to the Treaty of Zimtok V.”
“That’s irrelevant!” snarled Tak. “The Irken Internal Matters Clause must be satisfied! Leave at once!”
“I’m afraid they can’t do that,” called the Doctor.
“DOCTOR!” snarled Zim.
“You DARE interfere!” hissed Tak.
“When a blunder like this threatens to unravel the Web of Time, I always interfere!” replied the Doctor.
“What blunder are you talking about?!” demanded Zim.
“The Irken Civil War,” explained the Doctor, “the war between your respective factions, isn’t supposed to start now. It begins in five years’ time!”
“And why should that concern us?!” snarled Tak.
“Because my arrival shifted things too early! All I ask is that you hold off on any infighting until five years have passed and that you keep said infighting OFF Earth!”
“You demand too much, Doctor!” argued Zim. “The Irken Civil War will begin now, and it will result in my glorious unfolding of Operation Impending Doom III!”
“ALL HAIL ZIM!” called half of Tak’s soldiers.
“TRAITORS!” called the other half.
“ENOUGH!” shouted Brotok as he held up a device. Zim and Tak’s eyes widened.
“What is that?!” yelped Tak.
“An active communications link to the Shadow Proclamation!” replied Brotok. “And nothing would make me happier than you two firing on one another giving me the excuse to call the Judoon here!” The two Tallest stared the smiling Brotok down.
“…If it were any other race,” hissed Zim, “I’d say you were bluffing, Brotok!” He then visibly deflated. Tak then raised her hand.
“Stand down, all of you, traitors AND loyalists!” she ordered. “Zygons don’t bluff and the Empire can’t afford an armed conflict with the Judoon and the Zygons!” The Irken soldiers holstered their weapons.
“Excellent decision, Almighty Tallest!” chuckled Brotok.
“Now then!” called the Doctor as two UNIT soldiers brought out a table and four chairs. The Doctor and Brotok sat on one side. “Not my favorite bit, but let’s discuss a new treaty.”
As the Doctor and Brotok discussed terms with Zim and Tak, Dib looked on. “…Is this what the Doctor’s life is like?” he asked no one in particular.
“Yes, believe it or not,” replied Amy’s voice. She and Lurra Rus approached Dib. “She’s a lonely lady, most of the time. So she takes us on as companions to see slices of her life.”
“She has this innate desire to help people,” continued Lurra Rus. “To make the universe a better place throughout time and space wherever it’s permitted.”
“Then the Irken Civil War?” asked Dib.
“Probably a fixed point in time,” replied Amy. “What will happen, will happen.”
“She can’t undo the mistakes of the past,” said Lurra Rus, “but she CAN show us the path to a better future.”
“Excuse me, Dib!” called Kate’s voice. She approached the group.
“Dr. Stewart!” Dib saluted.
“Not just yet, Dib,” said Kate. “Not unless you hear me out.”
“Kate?” asked Amy.
“Dib Membrane, I’ve spoken with your father,” explained Kate. “And we both agreed, albeit I don’t think he fully believes in aliens, that you would be the person to make sure Zim behaves and complies with the upcoming treaty. But, we have to say, your personal technology can’t really do much. But with UNIT resources…” Dib blinked.
“…Are you asking me to join UNIT?!” he asked.
“As part of our internship program,” replied Kate. “But your internship assignment will be to monitor Zim and make sure he behaves.”
“And report any suspicious behavior to you?” asked Dib. “What about the Swollen Eyeball Network?”
“They’re in direct communication with us,” answered Kate. “They will get your findings at the same time as us. Although, only Agent…DarkBootie…seems to be supportive of you.”
“That’s not new,” replied Dib. “…But joining UNIT, people that actually DO protect Earth from alien threats…” Dib smiled. “Cadet Dib Membrane, reporting for duty!” he said. Kate smiled.
The Doctor looked over at Dib accepting his new position and grinned. “Time’s going right on track,” she said.
“So, we are agreed, then?” said Brotok, calling everyone’s attention to the treaty. “While the Irken Civil War cannot be prevented, it is at least delayed by five years. Neither Zim nor Tak can interfere with one another’s business until then. Zim will remain on Earth under close observation by UNIT and the Swollen Eyeball Network and cannot exact retribution on GIR and Minimoose, nor will he conquer the planet. Tak also cannot conquer Earth and she will be observed by the Shadow Proclamation to ensure that she continues in the rebuilding of Irk, but she cannot kill any Irken that chooses to follow Zim. At the end of five years, when civil war DOES break out, Earth will not be involved in any battleplans or be caught in the crossfire. A breach of this treaty will result in the Shadow Proclamation arresting both parties and occupying Irk.”
“…Agreed,” grunted Zim.
“Agreed,” muttered Tak.
“Then all that’s left,” said the Doctor as she handed pens to Zim and Tak, “is to sign.” The two Tallest then signed on their respective signature lines.
“…I’ll crush you in five years, Tak!” warned Zim.
“The feeling’s mutual, Zim!” retorted Tak. She then stood up. “Soldiers! We are leaving!” Tak and her men marched back to her ship and took off. Dib then approached the group.
“Accepted your UNIT assignment, Dib?” asked the Doctor.
“His UNIT assign-NO!” yelped Zim.
“Looks like I’m still watching you, Zim!” laughed Dib. “Though now I’ve got UNIT on my side!”
“If I didn’t sign that treaty, I’d eat your brain-meats, Dib!” snarled Zim. He stormed back to his base.
“Well, this has been fun,” said Amy, “but I’m ready to take it easy now.”
“Same here,” agreed Lurra Rus as everyone returned to the TARDIS.
“You sure you don’t want to come, Dib?” asked the Doctor.
“I know you said it’s a time machine, Doctor,” replied Dib, “but I need to focus on my UNIT assignment.”
“All right then. Bye now!” The Doctor and her friends entered the TARDIS and it took off in its usual manner.