Categories
cast Journey Through Wonder

Kaitlyn Saunders Hishikawa (Kamen Rider Spark)

You could not find a more girly-girl than Kaitlyn Saunders Hishikawa, twin sister of Kaede, daughter of Richard and Megumi. Like Kaede, she went on a time-travel trip to keep the Vortech Wars from going any longer than they were recorded. She currently lives at 2974 Angel Robe Drive, Beyond City 960792 and is a student at After Academy and Chizara University. She’s dating six other ladies (Qadira, Lisette, Ursula, Oseye, Padrika, and Huong) and is an actress in the Afterlife Theater Union. She likes reading, dancing, swimming, and singing and would prefer to put her superhero identity as Kamen Rider Spark to rest. The Author’s not gonna give her that chance as his plans require her to take up her Crystal Driver again.

Categories
cast Journey Through Wonder

Kaede Saunders Hishikawa (Kamen Rider Shade)

Believe it or not, Kaede Saunders Hishikawa and her twin sister fought in the Vortech Wars, but that was thanks to some time-travel shenanigans with their time’s mother (Megumi) using the Time Amethyst to make sure history went on track. After that, Kaede decided to use her talents in the present and leave the time junk to Megumi and Richard (Kaede and her twin’s father). Nowadays, she stays at 2974 Angel Robe Drive, Beyond City 960792 as a student of After Academy and Chizara University. She also works as a detective for the Beyond City Police Force, learning under great detectives like Sherlock Holmes, Hidari Shotaro, and Batman. Thanks to one of her teacher’s being one half of Kamen Rider W, she became Kamen Rider Shade. Her hobbies include reading, writing, and martial arts, and she’s dating a Chizaran man about her age named Vinathazino. Unfortunately, the Author is planning on upsetting her currently idyllic life and she must fight alongside her parents, this time in the present.

Categories
cast Journey Through Wonder

Richard Saunders (Kamen Rider Guard)

Enjoying his peaceful life with his beloved Megumi and their wonderful twin daughters, Richard Saunders has been a devoted husband and father for centuries in the Hishikawa/Saunders home of 2974 Angel Robe Drive, Beyond City 960792. Through his marriage to Megumi, he is now the King of the Feudal Nerd Society. He’s a student at After Academy and Chizara Universty and works as After Academy’s baseball coach. He’s also got a job as a news anchor for Multiversal News Network, but his boss is trying to get him to sell out schlock instead of actual news. Baseball is one of his hobbies, but he’s not above a good prank war with Megumi, just as long as their maid doesn’t get caught in the crossfire. He has also taken up the mantle of Kamen Rider Guard. Good thing he keeps those skills up to par, they’ll be needed against the Author.

Categories
cast Journey Through Wonder

Megumi Hishikawa (Kamen Rider Royal/Proto-Vortex/Vortex)

For centuries, Megumi Hishikawa has known peace in her home of Beyond City. Biologically speaking, she is Hiro Adachi’s daughter, but she escaped his grasp and became the daughter of Haruna Hishikawa and the sister to Hiroki. She has fought against the evils of the multiverse, ranging from small-time tyrants to the god-like Lord Vortech. Whenever peace reigns, she is a student at both After Academy and Chizara University. When her classes are done, she teaches Multiversal Archaeology at After Academy. After that, she enjoys her hobbies of reading, visiting other universes, and sunbeam naps. The reason for that last bit is because, thanks to her father, she is a genetically enhanced cyborg called Tora-Onna (Tiger Woman). That form and its advantages helped her become one of the multiverse’s greatest heroes, Kamen Rider Royal/Proto-Vortex/Vortex. If she were to rank her forms, it would be Kamen Rider Royal, then Tora-Onna, then Vortex, then Proto-Vortex. She currently lives at 2974 Angel Robe Drive, Beyond City 960792 as the wife to Richard Saunders, the proud mother of their twin daughters, the employer of their Morphus Tarantula maid, and as Queen of the Feudal Nerd Society. During a multiversal tournament, she became friends with Optimus and Arsha. Good thing too, that friendship is what’s going to help her weather the crisis the Author has set in motion.

Categories
cast cast Journey Through Wonder Weaver's Journey

Khan, the Author (Kamen Rider Weaver)

A clone of the original Author, he broke away from Anansi’s teachings and gained control of the Tome and assuming leadership of a breakaway Borg Collective and rechristening them as the Lords. He broke several deceased villains out of Hell and now wishes to rewrite the Multiversal Timeline using the Sources of the Apocalypse and Flourishment, as well as the Master Wand, the Time Amethyst, and the Mirror of Reality, each in the respective possession of Arsha, Megumi, and Optimus. He is NOT one to be underestimated.

Categories
KRV Standalones

Kamen Rider Vortex: Battle for Santa

It was Christmas Time and Emily Williams, the Chief Medical Officer of the Vortex Riders, was going over some last-minute decorations. Christmas was her favorite holiday as it meant she spent time with her family, especially her fellow Kamen Riders. She checked the alignment of the garland on the banister and smiled once she was satisfied. She then headed back upstairs to the kitchen and found the cookies she baked earlier. She looked around the sufficiently festive house, then wiped her brow before she took a cookie and poured herself some milk. She then dunked the cookie in the milk and happily munched on it. Just then, her doorbell rang. That surprised her, her husband and sons weren’t due for another hour. She headed to the door as the doorbell was rung repeatedly. “I’m coming!” she called. “You know, it’s naughty of you to-!” She opened the door to see Death holding a man up. The man was fat, wore red, and had a white beard. “…Santa?!” she asked.

“He’s ill!” said Death.

“Get him on the couch!” ordered Emily. As Death brought Santa Claus into the house, Emily headed to her room and got her medical kit. She then checked over Santa with her tricorder (a Christmas gift from years ago). The tricorder then gave her the readings she needed. “…You know, if I didn’t know any better,” she muttered, “I’d swear he’s got the flu.” Santa groaned.

“Santa just collapsed in front of my office,” explained Death as Emily tended to the living Christmas icon. “He was checking over his list when it suddenly went black. It then went to some form of normal, but Santa became very ill. He shouldn’t get sick unless someone tried to take his power.” Santa then slowly opened his eyes and took in his surroundings.

“Wh-where am I?” he asked.

“You’re in my house, Sir,” explained Emily. “I’m Dr. Emily Williams.”

“Emily…oh, yes, Kamen Rider Touché,” mumbled Santa. “Sorry about the unannounced visit.”

“I never took you as someone who got sick.”

“I don’t, usually. However, someone took control of the List and is in the process of making me mortal.”

“The List? You mean your naughty/nice list?”

“The very same.”

“So, whoever controls the List makes you mortal?”

“It’s a very involved process, so I still have time to-”

“Sorry, Sir, but you’re staying put until this whole affair is over!”

“But my workshop-!”

“I’ll take care of the whole situation. I just need to make sure Joshua and our boys know what’s going on.” Emily then heard a knock on the door. She headed to the door to see Joshua and their sons, Tom and Sam. They were accompanied by a kindly, plump old woman in red and a humanoid reindeer with a glowing red nose.

“Mama! Look who we found!” said Sam.

“Mrs. Claus and Rudolph, I presume?” asked Emily.

“Ah, you DO know us!” sighed Mrs. Claus in relief.

“Your husband’s laid up on my couch, Mrs. Claus,” explained Emily. Everyone went inside and the boys looked worried at Santa’s condition.

“Is Santa gonna die?” asked Tom.

“Not while I’m a doctor, he won’t!” promised Emily.

“I appreciate your willpower,” groaned Santa, “but this isn’t a flu that can be cured by medicine alone. We need to regain control of the List.”

“Then tell me and Josh how to get it back,” declared Emily.

“Yay! We’re going to the North Pole!” cheered the boys. Emily winced.

“Actually, Dad and I are going. It might involve a fight where you would get hurt.”

“But Mama-!” wailed Sam. Tom looked upset too but didn’t vocalize it.

“Right now, I need you boys to help Aunt Death and Mrs. Claus look after Santa.”

“Boys, once I’m well, we’ll all go to the North Pole,” promised Santa.

“…Okay,” mumbled Sam. “Really wanted to see Mama and Dad kick the bad guy’s butt though.”

“Oh, I have a way,” chuckled Santa. He then looked to Emily and Joshua. “Sougo Tokiwa’s already at the North Pole’s outskirts. Make sure you give him this.” He handed Emily a green and red Ridewatch with a Santa-based Kamen Rider’s head on the front.

“…You’re a Kamen Rider?!” yelped Emily.

“I WAS a Kamen Rider,” corrected Santa. “I gave that up in the 2000’s.”

“So, there’s an Another Rider taking control,” muttered Joshua. “Hiroki told us about those dingoes. Well, no point in earbashing now. Let’s get going!”

“I’ll get us there,” offered Rudolph. “I’m a little worried about my friends and family.” He opened a rift. Emily and Joshua grabbed their Vortex Drivers, and they followed the red-nosed reindeer through the portal.


They arrived at a snowy expanse and found Sougo with them. “Good to see you again!” greeted Sougo.

“You too, Sougo-san!” returned Emily. “I just wish the circumstances were more pleasant.”

“We better hurry!” urged Rudolph. “If Santa doesn’t get control of the List before Christmas Day, we’re finished!”

“Could have said something earlier!” growled Joshua.

“Sougo, before I forget, here!” Emily handed Sougo the Ridewatch.

“A new Ridewatch? Santa’s a Kamen Rider?” asked Sougo.

“He WAS a Kamen Rider,” replied Emily. Rudolph led the way.

“Last I heard, the List Thief was somewhere around here,” he muttered. His nose’s light cut through the wintery winds until they found a massive cave that looked like a beast with its mouth open. “Ol’ Bumble’s Cave,” explained Rudolph.

“Could he be the-?” asked Joshua.

“No, he’s a really nice guy when his choppers aren’t hurting him,” replied Rudolph.

“Where is he?” asked Emily.

“He must be inside,” guessed Sougo. Everyone crept to the cave and looked inside. They all gasped at the sight. Rudolph’s friends were in cages and the Bumble was chained to the wall, looking weak. In the middle of the cave was a red and white throne.

“Clarice!” called Rudolph. The doe with a bow in her hair turned to Rudolph in surprise.

“Rudolph!” she cheered. Hermey, Yukon Cornelius, and Donner and his wife looked at the cave entrance and rushed to the cage bars to see Rudolph and his backup.

“Son, what are you doing back?!” yelped Donner. “It’s not safe!”

“Not listening to your father, huh?” taunted a voice. “How very naughty!” A reindeer then stepped out from behind the throne. He had blonde hair between his antlers and held an Another Ridewatch in his hand.

“Fireball?!” yelped Rudolph.

“Hello, neon-nose!” growled Fireball.

“Wait, Fireball?! Your old friend?!” yelped Emily. “The one who hesitated in stopping Comet from banning Rudolph from the Reindeer Games?!”

“I will admit, the thought HAD crossed my mind,” replied Fireball, “but after that Christmas, I realized I was right in not speaking up!”

“Are you the one who stole the List from Santa?!” demanded Joshua.

“I am,” answered Fireball.

“Do you have any idea how naughty that is?!”

“I control the List now! I decide naughty and nice! And in my eyes, you are ALL naughty! Sougo Tokiwa! You conquered your world and turned it into a barren wasteland as Oma Zi-O!”

“That was a different Sougo!” protested Sougo.

“Emily Williams! You blindly followed a moody thrill-seeker on three different adventures, not once sticking to your feminist ideals! Your taking Joshua’s family name is proof of that!”

“Actually, I CHOSE not to keep my maiden-name!” snarled Emily. “That IS part of Feminism, for a woman to choose what SHE wants with no obstacles, like men do.” Fireball didn’t listen as he continued.

“Joshua Williams! …Wow, I…I don’t know where to start with you, there’s not enough time in the day! But how about we start with you being inducted into a corrupt clergy!”

“Oi, rack off!” snarled Joshua. “I’m cleaning up the clergy!”


“That’s why I marked your father as nice when I was in charge of the List,” Santa explained to Tom and Sam as everyone watched the confrontation on the TV.

“How are we able to see this?” asked Tom.

“Should we really question Christmas magic right now?” asked Sam.

“…Fair enough.”


“And then there’s YOU! Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer!” Fireball went on.

“I had a feeling I was involved somehow,” grunted Rudolph.

“Well, it involves both you AND Santa! You were banned from the Reindeer Games, yet Santa picked you to lead the Sleigh Team! I was the best athlete and the most trained, yet he picked a wash-out like you and you blindly accepted because you found a use for that accident you call a nose!”

“YOU INSULTED MY SON FOR THE LAST TIME!” shouted Donner.

“Pa, stay back!” called Rudolph. “This bitter stag is mine!”

“Wait, where do our children fit into this?” asked Emily.

“Oh, that part I didn’t change,” replied Fireball. “Your boys are still marked as nice! If you get out of this, tell them that the new Santa wishes them a Merry Christmas.”

“…I’ll get right on that.”

“But, as for the rest of you, the only present I have is-!” Rudolph heard enough. He charged at Fireball and locked horns with his former friend, quite literally.

“Get everyone out of here!” Rudolph called to his allies.

“Will do!” replied Emily. She and her friends then got to work freeing everyone and getting them out of the cave.

“Wait, we need to get Rudolph out!” called Clarice. Rudolph was then flung out of the cave and ended up headfirst in a snowbank. Clarice got him out, then Fireball stepped out.

“That clinches it! You’re all finished!” He pressed the button on the Another Ridewatch.

“KRINGLE!” it announced in a wicked voice. He then put the Ridewatch to his shoulder and he was surrounded by torn paper. “KRINGLE!” repeated the Ridewatch as it sunk into his skin and made a monstrous form for him. Fireball was now Another Kringle, based on Santa’s Kamen Rider persona of Kamen Rider Kringle. He had the red and white outfit, but he looked more like Krampus and the belt looked like it had a bare tree on the buckle. Emily, Joshua, and Sougo then put their own belts on.

“Vortex Driver!” announced Emily and Joshua’s belts.

“Ziku Driver!” called Sougo’s belt. Sougo then pulled out his personal Ridewatch, rotated the face, and pressed the button.

“Zi-O!” called the Ridewatch. He then put it into the Driver’s right-hand slot, then pressed a button on top of the belt, making the right side dip down. Emily and Joshua then inserted their personal i.d. tags into their Vortex Drivers. The three Riders then struck their poses.

“HENSHIN!” they called. Emily and Joshua then spun the wheels on their belts as Sougo rotated the whole belt assembly. The Ziku Driver stopped spinning once it returned to its original position.

“Rider Time! Kamen Rider Zi-O!” it announced as he became Kamen Rider Zi-O. Emily and Joshua’s belts summoned a wheel beneath them and the wheels fastened their armor onto them while the belts turned their clothes into undersuits. Emily was Kamen Rider Touché and Joshua became Kamen Rider Outback.

“Kamen Rider Outback! Better watch your back, mate!”

“Kamen Rider Touché! En Garde, thing of evil!” Rudolph and the Kamen Riders then rushed at Another Kringle, surrounding him. Another Kringle then brought out his multi-limbed switch and swung hard, knocking everyone to the ground.

“Your naughtiness will be punished!” roared Another Kringle.

“This isn’t working! The List is making him too powerful!” grunted Rudolph.

“How can one get control of that thing anyway?!” asked Touché.

“He had to erase Santa’s name, his REAL name, and replace it with his own.”

“…Who’s got the best penmanship?”

“That’s Clarice. Wait, you’re not suggesting-?!”

“If we don’t, Christmas will be cancelled!”

“…You’re right. Clarice! Do you know where the List is?!”

“It’s still in the cave!” replied Clarice.

“Go in there and erase Fireball’s name! Replace it with Santa’s real name!”

“Will do!” Clarice dashed into the cave as Rudolph and the Riders fought Another Kringle. Another Kringle then launched a fireball from between his antlers at Touché. She was hit and Outback dashed to her, then Another Kringle struck Outback’s backside with his switch. Zi-O then pulled out the new Ridewatch, rotated it to reveal the head of a Santa themed Kamen Rider, and pressed the button.

“Kringle!” it announced. He put the Ridewatch into the left side of the Ziku Driver, pressed the button on top, and spun it.

“Rider Time!” called the Driver. “Kamen Rider Zi-O! Armor Time!” New Santa themed armor attached itself to him. “Ho ho ho! Kringle!” sang the Driver. Zi-O then slammed his fist into Another Kringle’s chest, only for him to squawk in pain and clutch his fist. Another Kringle then slammed his own fist into Zi-O’s head. Rudolph flung snow up to try and cover his attack, but Another Kringle sensed it coming easily. He slammed his foot into Rudolph’s side and sent him sprawling on the snow. Another Kringle looked around.

“Pathetic!” he grunted. “Why the fat man put his hopes on you is beyond me! The game is over! God rest ye, dead idiots!” Another fireball then grew between his antlers…then it fizzled. He then cried out in pain and collapsed to the ground. A rift then opened, and Santa, Mrs. Claus, Death, Tom, and Sam popped out. Santa looked a lot healthier in the face. “WHAT?!” cried Another Kringle.

“Clarice did it!” cheered Touché.

“Fireball, what you did was beyond naughty!” thundered Santa. “It was flat out vile! You’re looking at a life sentence for this!”

“YOU OVERSIZED FRUITCAKE!” roared Another Kringle. Santa then pulled out a belt with a Christmas tree pointing to the wearer’s right. He fastened it on, then struck a pose. Death fastened her Mort Driver and struck her own pose.

“HENSHIN!” said the two. Death rotated the skull on her belt and black mist formed her armor as Kamen Rider Death. Santa moved the tree upright and red and white ribbons surrounded him.

“Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!” called the belt. The ribbons then became armor based on his usual appearance.

“Kamen Rider Kringle!” boomed Santa. “Your naughtiness will be stamped out!”

“Kamen Rider Death!” announced Death. “You cannot delay your appointment with me!”

“Round two, everyone!” called Touché. The fighters attacked, causing damage this time!

“Rider Kicks, everyone!” directed Kringle. He moved the tree down then brought it back up.

“Night before Christmas!” announced the belt. Touché and Outback spun their belts’ wheels.

“Final Attack!” Zi-O pressed the buttons on the Ridewatches.

“Finish Time! Kringle!” He then spun the Driver. “Night before Time Break!” Death spun the skull on her belt.

“Reaper man!” it called. Everyone then leapt into the air and flew towards Another Kringle with their feet outstretched.

“RIDER YULE KICK!” cheered Touché. The kicks struck true and they landed behind the spasming Another Kringle.

“That’s your last present…from me!” declared Kringle. Another Kringle exploded, flinging the now wounded Fireball to the snow and breaking the Another Ridewatch. Rudolph looked to Fireball with pity.

“We could have restarted our friendship, Fireball,” he muttered. “All this just because of the Sleigh Team?”

“It’s all that’s important for a buck!” snarled Fireball.

“Your uncle would beg to differ.” Rudolph then sighed as he brought out handcuffs. “Fireball of the House of Vixen, you’re under arrest for the attempted assassination of Santa Claus.” He slapped the cuffs on and led Fireball to jail while reading him his rights.


The workshop was restored to order and all the elves were working double-time to complete the orders around the world. The sleigh still wasn’t sky-worthy yet, but Santa still had two more days. “I’m sorry I can’t give you all a sleigh ride back home,” he said to his saviors.

“That’s all right,” replied Sam. “I’m actually terrified of heights. Getting on a plane just gives me the willies!”

“Well, Dr. Williams, I’m a grateful man! I simply must reward you.”

“I’m a doctor, I don’t do things just to get something else,” remarked Emily.

“I must insist!” urged Santa. “You’ll find something for you under the tree. You and all of your family and friends.”

“Thank you very much, Santa. I’m glad I could help.” A rift then opened for everyone. “Goodbye! Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas!” supplied her family, Sougo, and Death.

“Merry Christmas!” replied Santa. “Ho ho ho!” Everyone then headed into the rift. Once they left the other side, they saw that they were back in their living room. The rift shut behind them. Tom and Sam then yawned.

“Someone’s tired,” mused Joshua.

“I don’t even have the energy to be naughty and lie about that,” mumbled Sam. “I’m ready to go to bed.”

“I’m gonna do the same,” yawned Tom.

“All right, let’s brush our teeth and get ready for bed,” called Joshua. He and the boys headed to the bathroom.

“I better get home,” remarked Sougo. “It was nice to see Santa though. I’m surprised I got on the nice list.”

“Like you said, Oma Zi-O was someone else,” replied Death. “I’ll take you home, Sougo-san.”

“Arigatou!” Sougo and Death then headed to the door. “Merry Christmas, Emily-san!”

“Merry Christmas, Sougo-san!” replied Emily. Sougo and Death then left, leaving Emily to look around the house before she sang to herself.

You know Dasher and Dancer

And Prancer and Vixen.

Comet and Cupid

And Donner and Blitzen.

But do you recall

The most famous reindeer of all?

Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer

Had a very shiny nose.

And if you ever saw it,

You would even say it glows!” As she sang, she headed off to bed.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from me to you!

Categories
Weaver's Journey

Weaver’s Journey 2

“Man, what a YEAR!” I griped as I recalled 2020. COVID-19, civil unrest, the election, it was quite a year. So much so, it made me forget what I held dear. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to hold on for so long. A mechanical spider bumped against my foot as I thought. I looked down at the spider and arched an eyebrow. “Something on your mind, Anansi?”

“Just making sure you were okay,” replied the spider, the African Story Keeper, Anansi. He then shifted into a more flesh-and-blood form of an elder man in traditional Ghana dress with six arms. “This year has been rough on everyone, even me.”

“How so?” I asked. “You can’t possibly be affected by COVID-19.”

“Even gods and their kin can get sick.”

“So, you couldn’t go overseas to see your wife and kids.”

“Nope, and it tore me apart.”

“That just seems un…” My sentence was stopped by music. “…The heck?”

“It’s coming from your closet,” muttered Anansi. We entered the closet and shuffled through my clothes and came out of another door instead of running into the back wall. It opened to a room with a large bookcase. We went closer to it.

“…Music’s louder here,” I reported. We then got the same idea and felt around for some sort of trigger.

“…Dammit, my eyesight’s going bad!” grumbled Anansi. “Hey, pass me that candle, would you?” He pointed to a candle flickering on the wall. I grabbed it…and the bookcase wall rotated, taking Anansi with it! It soon became a bare wall. “…Put! The candle! Back!” I did so and the wall made a complete circle. “…All right! I have it figured out now! Take the candle out and…”

“I see where this is going! I’ve watched Young Frankenstein enough times!” I argued. “You’re gonna have a cracked exoskeleton if you do that!”

“Trust me!” I rolled my eyes at his insistence. I took the candle out and Anansi blocked the bookcase with his body. I then set the candle down on a table and shoved against the other side of the bookcase, making it rotate and freeing Anansi. I then dusted my hands and smirked before I realized what just happened.

“…Put! The candle! Back!” I called. The bookcase then rotated before Anansi webbed it and halted its progress. We then looked through the opening to see a passageway. “Well, well, well, what have we here?” I mused.

“The music’s coming from down there,” remarked Anansi. “Come on!” We went down the passageway and came to an open door to a music room. A band was playing something similar to Dare from the 80’s Transformers movie.

Sitting in a basement and always writing,

And he’s got no real friends,

You wonder how he keeps going! (going)

Think of all the things that really matter,

And the chances he’s missed!

His visible paunch is growing! (growing)

Can’t even fly if he tried, sitting on his behind!

Heaven only knows what’s on his mind!

Dare, dares to believe he’s got a life!

He buries his head in the sand!

Dare, dares to think he’s got any strife!

He never even stands,

He doesn’t even want to dare!

He keeps on typing at his keyboard,

In his dwelling underground.

Seems like it’s been forever! (ever), oh!

Apply the right kind of needed pressure,

Then he lose his last round!

Looks like it’s now or never! (never)

He never wants to ever come out into the light,

He always thinks his silly words are right!

Dare, dares to believe he’s got a life!

He buries his head in the sand!

Dare, dares to think he’s got any strife!

He never even stands,

He doesn’t even want to dare!

Dare, dares to believe he’s got a life!

He buries his head in the sand!

Dare, dares to think he’s got any strife!

He barely has any form of command, oh!

Dare, dares to keep all his rambles alive!

Dares to be lazy as he can be!

Dare, there is a place where he survives,

He thinks it gives him victory!

Dare, dare!

As the song played, I noticed the band members were people I knew! The lead singer was my evil double from a universe where I conquered Earth, the guitarist was Megumi Hishikawa in her blue dress, the drummer was the holo-form of Megatron from my Transformers/Sonic the Hedgehog crossover, and the keyboardist was my dad, Green Dalek! “…Is he for real?!” asked Anansi as we watched.

“I’m gonna get an explanation from all of them,” I muttered. The song ended and Evil Me saw me. “You’re actually serious about this?” I asked as I pointed in the general direction of the band.

“Behold, my weaker self! My Future Villain Band!” cheered Evil Me.

“Oh, for the love of…!” I groaned. “It’s been about almost two years since our first meeting and you’re just as derivative as I thought!”

“Derivative?! What do you mean derivative?!”

“‘Future Villain Band’? One, you’re a villain from my past! Two, Megumi and Dad aren’t villains! Three, the only reason I get the reference at all is because I watched Linkara review a comic adaptation of Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band! Couldn’t you have called it the ‘Author Parody Band’ or something?!”

“Ooh, there’s an idea!” mused Megatron.

“Megatron, what are YOU doing here?!” I demanded.

“I’m a villain in my story!”

“Yeah, but you haven’t even faced me! And…you play drums?”

“I DO have other interests outside of barking orders, berating the Decepticons for their failures, and beating on Eggman twice a week.”

“Megumi,” called Anansi, “what ARE you doing here anyways?!”

“I got bored after winning my 3V2R,” explained Megumi. “I figured this parody song would be okay since I’m not gonna have my contract with the Author renewed for a while.”

“I…guess it’s okay,” I muttered. I then turned to Green Dalek. “Dad, what’s the idea?!”

“To be fair, you DO have a tendency to be lazy,” replied Green Dalek. “In any case, it doesn’t matter. Your Evil Twin needed to do some introspection anyway.”

“Now JUST a minute!” protested Evil Me.

“And how are you even here at all, Evil Me?!” I called. “You were banished back to your universe when Vegeta took you back!”

“He didn’t destroy the technology I used to make my first trip!” answered Evil Me.

“So, you couldn’t let go of the beatdown Anansi and I gave you?”

“No, of course not! I won’t let myself feel defeat again!”

“And THIS is your big revenge scheme?! You form a band and play a parody song about how I’m so lazy?!

“I also kidnapped Anansi’s family.” Evil Me pointed to a group of people lashed to chairs. They were like Anansi’s human form in that they were in traditional Ghana dress and had six arms. The group consisted of one plump elderly woman and seven young men.

“Hello, Anansi,” greeted the woman.

“Aso, you and our boys are spider deities like me!” protested Anansi. “How did you get roped up?!”

“We DO have other interests outside of putting up with your antics, Dad,” remarked Toto Abuo, the Stone Thrower.

“This day refuses to make sense,” I grumbled.

“Your sanity is hanging by a thread, loser!” taunted Evil Me. “All it takes is one little push!”

“Can’t argue that,” I conceded.

“Think about it! All that time writing, all that time sitting in your basement, hoping your words will change someone’s mind on a certain topic and the world just ignores you! Face it, your quest to change someone’s mind will NEVER be over! This is why DeviantArt Eclipse was your downfall! You’ll be forever building up your fanbase and what will happen when your sites take a turn like Eclipse?! You will have to start all over again! You are a loser and a failure who will never be as popular as Peter Cullen!”

“That’s enough!” snarled Green Dalek as he stood up. “You can’t call him a failure, you pale imitation!”

“…Pale imitation?!” hissed Evil Me.

“You’re right,” I mused. “There’s a risk that people will just scoff at my writing and I’m probably not going to be as popular as Peter Cullen…but, a failure? A loser?” I then laughed. “You couldn’t be more wrong.”

“He’s right,” affirmed Anansi. “Now, my former ‘Master’, what say we get on with it?” He turned into his more mechanical self, then formed a belt strap and fastened himself to my waist. I then pulled out the gimmick I needed, the Base Elementrigger. “What’s the word?!” called Anansi as I put the thing near my mouth.

“HENSHIN!” I announced. The Elementrigger then split into two and I inserted them under Anansi’s legs. Anansi then leapt away from the belt and wove a cocoon around me while I made a spider impression with my hands. I then swung my arms outwards and broke the cocoon while Anansi returned to my belt. My suit had already formed by then and I became Kamen Rider Weaver once again. Green Dalek then pulled out a belt that he won in a 3V2R. He fastened it and it spoke.

“FANDOM SHIELDRIVER!” He made a pained expression as it was kind of loud. After his ears recovered, he pulled out the gimmick (a shield-shaped device with the Autobot and Decepticon logos on each side) and pressed a button on top.

“TRANSFORM!” it announced. He then set it into the belt and struck a pose.

“Henshin!” he called. He pressed a button on the right side of the buckle and the device opened up, revealing a mural of the Transformers fighting, with Optimus and Megatron at the forefront.

“THE TRANSFORMERS!” called the belt. A bit of the first G1 opening then played. “Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons!” His armor then flew out of the device and formed onto him, evoking Optimus Prime and gaining a shield-shaped shoulder pad on his left shoulder. His weapon appeared, a giant shield with a blaster near the wrist. The shield was shaped like the Autobot symbol. Megatron rolled his eyes.

“Kamen Rider Prime?” he asked. Green Dalek simply turned to my evil twin and pointed at him.

“All the world’s a stage,” he proclaimed, “but I’M editing this script! Kamen Rider Daiku!” His name literally translates to ‘carpenter’, but it DOES work as ‘editor’. I followed suit.

“Kamen Rider Weaver, I shall be the author of your defeat!”

“Hey, wait for me!” called Megumi. “I haven’t had a good Henshin sequence in a long time!” She inserted her i.d. tag into her Vortex Driver “Henshin!” She spun the wheel, and a giant version of the wheel then surrounded her feet and opened parts of itself to attach her armor while the belt strap changed her clothes into the undersuit. The armor then completed itself and she struck her pose. “Kamen Rider Royal! Evil shall ultimately bow to me!” Megatron then shrugged and extended his concealed blade from beneath his fusion cannon.

“I am Megatron! Peace through tyranny!”

“…We’ll work on that,” I muttered.

“No, we won’t.” Megatron was then slugged in the chest. My double had long shifted into his tarantula-monster form.

“If we’re all done talking,” he hissed, “why don’t we proceed with the fight?” I swung a punch, but he caught in and managed to burn my hand! I pulled back and held my hand in pain. Daiku then slammed his fist onto our enemy’s back, only to get the same result as me. Evil me then started shooting fireballs. We all took cover and fired our ranged weapons.

“Well, I guess it’s that time!” Daiku then pulled out a new device and pressed the button on top.

“ELEMENTAL MASTER!” it called. He then replaced the device in his belt with the new one and opened it.

“AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER/LEGEND OF KORRA!” called the Fandom ShielDriver. His armor then took on the appearance of Aang. Like the Avatar, he used a variety of elements to aid him in the fight. Megatron continued firing that BFG of his and Megumi pulled out an i.d. tag, swapped hers out with it, and spun the wheel.

“Uncle Iroh Steel!” it called. She then gained armor based off of Iroh and attacked. I felt left out.

“Excuse me!” called the youngest of Anansi’s boys, Intikuma. “I got something that might help you!” He handed me four sets of Elementriggers.

“Thank you!” I bid. I then took out my base Elementriggers and pressed a button on my new orange set.

“What’s the word?!” asked Anansi.

“Burn!” I replied. I then put them in.

“Burning Justice! Weaver: Fire Form!” announced Anansi. My armor then gained a fiery appearance. I struck my double and, this time, he was the only one feeling pain. “Wait, that doesn’t make sense,” muttered Anansi. “You’re using fire like him and yet, YOU’RE causing him damage.”

“I guess like repels like,” I theorized.

“That only works on…you know what, I won’t question it.”

“Use the blaster!” called Intikuma. I took his suggestion and turned the dial on Anansi’s rear to the desired weapon.

“MMOBORO BLASTER!” The gun appeared in my hand, and I fired. My evil twin doubled over in pain.

“NOT AGAIN! GAGH! IT’S WORSE THAN LAST TIME!” Daiku then swapped out his current armor for his usual one and Royal began her power-up sequence.

“DAI SUPER CHARGE!” she called. The old armor turned gold and white, then bulked up before exploding off of her to reveal new armor with tiger stripes. Now, she was Kamen Rider Vortex. She spun the wheel again.

“Final Attack!” announced her belt. Daiku then closed and opened the mural.

“FINISHING EDIT!” called his belt. I then pressed the triggers on the Elementriggers.

“FINAL STRIKE!” cheered Anansi. “BURNING SPIDER STRIKE!” We all performed a Rider Kick and struck true. Megatron then gave a parting shot, causing our enemy to explode. He fell to his human state and went unconscious.

“Well, that was fun,” sighed Vortex as she took off her belt and became Megumi Hishikawa once again.

“Intense, you mean,” replied Daiku as he became Green Dalek again. Anansi leapt off my waist and checked on his family. Once everyone was okay, Megumi called a ride home for us.

“Thank you, everyone!” I called as I left with Anansi. We returned to my usual dwelling, and I began writing again.

Categories
Weaver's Journey

Weaver’s Journey 1

I sat in my chair at my desk, ready to make another story. My fingers hovered over the keyboard…but nothing came to them. No words, no sentences, no letters, they all just blurred out, forcing me to get up and try to act out the scene. It still ended up a jumbled mess. I sighed. No ideas were coming to me tonight. I then heard a knock on the door upstairs. “Oh, for the love of…!” I groaned as I went upstairs. If it was a solicitor, I was gonna strip down to my birthday suit and scare the s*** out of them! What stopped me? The guy dressed like Vegeta of Dragonball fame. I opened the door. “Nice costume,” I remarked. “What brings you here?”

“Come on, you know already,” replied the guy, sounding EXACTLY like Vegeta.

“Look, I’m not the most social guy,” I explained, “so I don’t know where Comic Con is. I can certainly look it up for you.”

“I’m not looking for a convention,” dismissed the guy. “You reached the milestone, so ask me.”

“Ask you what?” I quizzed.

“You ARE Optimusthemobian on DeviantArt, right?” asked the guy.

“…How did you piece that together?” I demanded, a little scared.

“I’m an alien, I know things,” answered the guy. “Look, we all know your pageview count, so, go on. Ask me.”

“My…pageview count?” I asked.

“…Do you REALLY not know your pageviews?!” yelped the guy.

“What are you…?!” I replied before something hit me on the back of the head, making me black out.


When I came to, so did the guy. We were in some sort of web cocoon. Another guy in a black cape and dark-colored armor was working a machine. “All right, I didn’t consent to this cheap James Bond-esque villain trope!”

“I didn’t ask for your consent, twerp,” replied the second guy. I then realized the voice sounded like…mine! The second guy turned around and it was like I was looking in a mirror, albeit, a dark one.

“…Mirror universe?” I asked.

“Not totally,” replied my double. “Just an alternate path for YOU specifically.”

“So, what, did the Terran Empire need to research alternate universes to get a leg up on the competition?” I joked.

“You barely speak to anyone in real life,” growled my double, “and yet, you love the sound of your voice!”

“That’s what makes me lovable!” I chuckled.

“As opposed to you writing fanfic day in and day out that no one cares about?!” argued my double.

“Hey, I have people faving my stories!” I countered, feeling attacked.

“Worthless bots!” dismissed my double. “You call yourself the navigator of Anansi’s web, yet your major fanfic, one that you completed, is just a mere retelling of a video game!” That struck a little too close to home. “Oh, that touched a nerve, didn’t it? I will say this, at least you were honest about saying that on your page. Why do you still cling to your childhood treasures?! Because remembering the simplicity of the past makes you stronger! Remembering how it was so easy back then and desiring to bring that into the present day makes you more powerful! You’re just like me! The only difference is I became something worthwhile; the ruler of my world!”

“You? Conquer?” I asked.

“Manipulate all the governments into hating each other, and they will kill one another,” replied my double. “The U.S. President was the easiest to manipulate, given that orangutan’s predilection to spew hatred.” No change from my universe’s version of him. “Then came Russia, then China, then the U.K. and so on and so forth. Eventually, Earth’s population shrank from 7.7 billion to 147.8 million. More land for the people, more chance for animals to spring back, and more chance for the forests to grow to their full splendor. Each nation spent over a trillion dollars in weapons. I denied them that indulgence. The money is now used to suppress hunger, disease, poverty, all the problems that plagued us. Our ozone layer is now stronger than ever. We now use cleaner sources of energy, keeping all fossil based fuels as a last resort. The poorest person in the poorest country can pay off a very decent car and pay their house off in a reasonable time. My world is in a golden age, the likes of which has never been seen before!”

“With your flunkies controlling the masses and you controlling the flunkies!” I snapped.

“Is that really so bad in the long run?!” argued my double. “People need a clear idea of who’s in charge! The system America functions on has each area of the government blaming one another and never getting anything done! Laws can be passed or vetoed by the President and yet Congress can override that decision and, just to muddy the waters more, the Supreme Court is wrapped up in cases concerning such weakness that last for years and leave the people to fight amongst themselves! Under my rule, people know who made the laws, why they were made, and how they can best obey! True unity!”

“What about unity’s other half, freedom?!” I shouted.

“There are those starving who would rather have food than freedom,” replied my double.

“You’re talking as if they’re mutually exclusive!” I protested.

“They ARE,” answered my double. “Vegeta can attest to that.” He pointed to the guy I thought was a cosplayer.

“You mean, you’re…” I gulped, realizing who it was.

“…Did you think I was a mere fanboy?!” snarled Vegeta.

“A dense idiot,” remarked my double. “I have an empire under my command while you sit in your grandparents’ basement writing worthless drivel.”

“We’ll see if it’s worthless!” I challenged. “Why tell me all this?”

“Because I need to make sure there’s only ONE of us in this universe,” explained my double. “Back home, my conquest of the planet was swift! Quick! Easy! …I gained little satisfaction.”

“So you’re here to do it again, but a little slower?” I scoffed.

“Yes,” confirmed my double.

“…I’m getting some Atop the Fourth Wall vibes here,” I remarked.

“There’s never enough time before you shut up, is there, you annoying retard?!” snarled my double.

“Oh, A**hole,” I hissed, “that’s the wrong thing to call me!” I then burst out of the cocoon and leapt onto my double. He yelped and shoved me off. “Besides, if you’re my double, don’t YOU have autism too?!”

“Unimportant to me!” argued my double. Unlike me, this guy could hit hard. Vegeta managed to break out of his cocoon by going Super Saiyan and swung a punch at the guy who effortlessly caught it. “Did you seriously learn nothing?” he muttered as he tossed the Saiyan Prince aside. “There you are, Prince of all THREE Saiyans and their hybrid children, and he’s nothing more than a ragdoll against me.”

“Well, ain’t YOU a Mary-Sued up villain?” I snarked. He grabbed my neck and flung me aside.

“I take what power I need,” he scoffed. “Look at you. You never conquered, never fought, never took the initiative, you drifted throughout your life. My life is in focus. You claim to be a disciple of Anansi when, in all truth, that spider is under my command. Anansi, kill him. …Anansi? …Anansi, your master…” Big mistake! He doubled over in pain as he clutched his foot. Angry fang marks were evident on his ankle. The offending creature that delivered the bite was a mechanical spider, roughly the size of a belt buckle. “ANANSI, YOU JUDAS!” shouted my double. The mechanical spider turned to face him.

“You can’t keep me under your heel forever, Enslaver!” it hissed in a thick Ghana accent. “You tried to take the Stories from me, a poor error in judgement! They’re called Anansesem (spider stories) for a reason!” The spider, the African Story Keeper, Anansi then leapt onto my waist and moved his legs to the side, causing a belt strap to form. Some handle-like device then appeared on the right side of my waist. It had two buttons on top and two triggers on the grip. “You ARE a Kamen Rider fan, right?” asked Anansi. I then saw where this was going.

“Hey! Mirror-me!” I called. My double then got up, frothing with rage. “Get a load of this!” I held the device to my mouth.

“What’s the word?!” called Anansi.

“Henshin!” I announced. I then pressed the buttons on top, making the device split in half. I then plugged the halves underneath Anansi’s legs with the triggers facing down. Anansi temporarily jumped off the belt and wove a cocoon around me while I made a spider with my hands, my thumbs near my face. The suit formed and I threw my fists to the side, breaking the cocoon as Anansi returned to the belt. A HUD showed what I looked like on the outside. My two eyes were split into four to evoke a spider’s eyes. I had a pair of legs going above my head and a pair of legs reaching my actual legs. Coattails resembled spinnerets and my mouthplate evoked a spider’s mouth. “Oh, I very much LIKE!” I chuckled.

“Fancy armor won’t save you!” dismissed my double.

“I think it will, in this case!” I argued. “You face Kamen Rider Weaver, the author of your defeat!” I tried to make a cool pose.

“…I think the Ginyu Force auditions are that way!” laughed Vegeta as he pointed behind my house.

“OH SHUT UP!” I protested.

“And that catchphrase, UGH!” groaned Anansi.

“You zip it too!” I snapped.

“Uh, HELLO?! FIGHT?!” shouted my double. Vegeta joined me as we took a defensive stance. My double took out a device similar to the one that I used to change. He then spoke into it. “Belua!” (Beast!) he announced. He then split the device into two and jabbed them into his pectorals. They sunk into him and he turned into a monstrous, humanoid spider! He then charged at us while we rolled out of the way and delivered a kick to his backside. He swung wildly with his arms, hoping to hit us. “WHERE?!” he bellowed when he missed us. “WHERE ARE YOU?!”

“What’s his deal?” asked Vegeta. “He’s got quadruple the eyes a human does.”

“He’s based off of a tarantula,” I observed. “Their eyesight is very poor. They hunt via vibration. Considered by scientists to be one of the least evolved spiders on Earth. My suit, on the other hand, is based off of more advanced spiders. Excellent eyesight, web-weaving, impressive speed and jumping power, it’s all here!”

“You won’t be boasting about it for long!” shouted my monstrous double. “You win, and you’d have nothing! No one even remembers your DA page!”

“I’m connected to it now!” I argued. “My pageview count begs to differ. I know why Vegeta came here! So, let’s get that meme out of the way! Vegeta, what does the scouter say about my pageview count?” Vegeta checked his scouter, then held it in his hand.

“IT’S OVER NINE THOUSAAAND!” he shouted as he crushed the scouter.

“Way over that, if I’m reading this correctly!” I supplied, stunning my double. “19,276 at last count, with 677 deviations, 42 journals, and 30 people watching me!”

“THAT’S NOT TRUE!” argued my double. “YOU DID NOTHING SPECTACULAR! HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY HAVE ANY FANS?!”

“That’s the thing,” I replied, “being a conqueror tends to turn people away from you in the long run. An artist, on the other hand, one who creates, they tend to be more popular!” My double screamed in rage, unable to accept that I did anything worthwhile in my life. “True,” I continued, “my anatomy needs work and I could use the occasional brush-up on grammar, but I still enjoy what I do! Assholes like you are NOTHING to me!” That set him off as he charged at us.

“Kid, out of the way!” shouted Vegeta as he shoved me aside. “GALICK GUN, FIRE!” He fired off his Galick Gun and hit my double square in the chest. I rotated a dial on Anansi’s rear to an image of a hornet’s nest.

“MMOBORO BLASTER!” he called. A gun evoking a hornet’s nest appeared in my hand as I fired. The shots went into my double’s exoskeleton and he started writhing in pain.

“GET THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!” he squealed. “I’M ON FIRE!” Not true, but the Mmoboro hornets had stings that acted like red-hot needles. I then turned the dial to a python’s image. 

“ONINI SABER!” called Anansi. A sword shaped like a python replaced the gun. I pressed a button on the sword’s hilt and it became a thick whip. I swung it and it wrapped around my double, squeezing him. His exoskeleton cracked and fell, as did his real shape. He then pressed a button on his arm and surrounded himself in a nasty purple aura before slamming his fists into me and Vegeta. I turned the dial to the image of a leopard. “OSEBO CLAWS!” announced Anansi as my sword was replaced with clawed gloves in a leopard pattern. I pressed a button on the dial, indicating that I wanted my current weapon to stay while I used another. I then turned the dial to a small fairy in traditional Ghana dress. “MMOATIA CLOAK!” called Anansi. I turned invisible to my double.

“WHERE?! WHERE?!”

“Right behind you!” I replied in a French accent as my claws raked across his back. I pressed the dial’s button again, cancelling my invisibility and claws while I pressed the triggers on the handles of my belt.

“FINAL STRIKE!” shouted Anansi. I leapt into the air, then fired a rope of silk from my palms, making sure they were on either side of my double. I went higher, making the ropes go taut. “SPIDER BREAK!” called Anansi as I pulled, making me fall at an incredible rate. My foot impacted with my double and I landed behind him. The armor he wore exploded. I decided to follow the ‘Cool Guys Never Look at Explosions’ rule. He fell to the ground, breathing heavily and in pain.

“I’ll take him back,” remarked Vegeta.

“Really?” I asked. “How do you intend to accomplish that?”

“‘A portal then opened behind me, surprising both of us,’” answered Anansi.

“…What?” I quizzed. Vegeta was just as confused. A portal then opened behind me, surprising both of us.

“That’s the thing about all stories belonging to me,” chuckled Anansi, “I tend to see where a story goes.”

“Dude, spoilers!” I protested. Vegeta picked up my double and went through the portal.

“You know,” mused Anansi, “I may stick around for a while.”

“…No tricks then, okay?” I asked, knowing Anansi.

“No promises,” replied Anansi.

“I wouldn’t believe you if you said no tricks,” I answered. “Let’s do this, then!” With that, I reaffirmed my own faith in Anansi’s job and my duty as a writer.

Categories
KRV Standalones

Kamen Rider Vortex: A Spooky Win!

Making sure she was breathing with a corset on, a woman had dressed herself up as a vampire woman, complete with black and red dress, a blood-red rose in her hair, and pale make-up with fake fangs. “Perfect!” she declared as she looked herself in the mirror.

“Not going fuzzy this time?” asked her husband as he came in, dressed like a zombie.

“No, not this time,” replied the woman. “…What do you think, Richard? Should I wear a flower in my hair more often?”

“That’s up to you, sweetie,” answered her husband, Richard Saunders. “You look beautiful no matter what you wear.”

“You’re sweet,” sighed the woman, Megumi Hishikawa, happily. When they finished, a woman of African descent with pink hair, eyes, and dress appeared in pink light.

“Spooky,” praised the pink woman, the Chizaran Princess of Peace, Rosadera.

“That’s what I was going for,” chuckled Megumi. “Is everything ready?”

“All set!” answered Rosadera.

“Good luck!” wished Richard as Megumi and Rosadera vanished in pink light. He then turned on the t.v. to see Megumi on a set of railway tracks during the night. Rosadera was accompanied by her fellow Princesses, Azuliterii, Moradelia, Rojenthi, and Verdutha. Opposite of Megumi was a steam engine, an old Furness Railway K2 “Larger Seagull”. However, this engine had a difference from its compatriots, it had a face! The engine was blue with red stripes and had a number 2 on the tender. The lamp in front of the engine’s funnel was modeled after a jack-o-lantern. The Chizaran Princesses began.

“I am Rojenthi, the Red Princess of Chizara, and the war-time leader.”

“I am Azuliterii, the Blue Princess of Chizara, and the technological leader.”

“I am Rosadera, the Pink Princess of Chizara, and the peace-time leader.”

“I am Verdutha, the Green Princess of Chizara, and the environmental leader.”

“And I am Moradelia, the Purple Princess of Chizara, and the history leader.”

“This is it, ladies and gentlemen!” cheered Rojenthi. “The final round of the 591,009thVerse Vs. Verse Rumble Royale! With this round, we’ll determine who controls First Place prize, the Time Amethyst!”

“Representing her home of 8-3-Y-0-N-D-C-1-T-Y,” Azuliterii introduced, “we have Megumi Hishikawa! Representing T-H-0-M-4-5-4-N-D-F-R-1-3-N-D-5, we have Edward the Blue Engine with home-turf advantage!”

“The final outcome shall be determined,” continued Rosadera, “by whoever can tell the scariest story!”

“Megumi and Edward,” explained Verdutha, “must each tell the scariest story they can come up with. Whoever manages to frighten us more is the winner!”

“Each contestant,” Moradelia went on, “is limited to one story and neither of them are allowed do-overs.”

“Edward the Blue Engine, are you ready?” called Rosadera.

“An engine of the North Western Railway is ALWAYS ready!” declared Edward.

“Megumi Hishikawa, are you ready?” asked Rosadera. Megumi chuckled.

“Been ready since I first fought Vortech!” she answered.

“Then all that’s left,” declared Rosadera, “is to determine who shall tell their story first! With this round, we shall determine who will take home the Time Amethyst! Tell your stories with honor, tell them with pride, and, most importantly, tell them well! Who shall call?”

“Ladies first,” offered Edward kindly.

“As you wish,” replied Megumi. “Heads!” Rosadera flipped a coin and checked it.

“…Hard luck, Megumi,” she answered. “Edward, you may begin.”

“My pleasure,” answered Edward. He drew in a breath, then began. “The year was 1861, the rails belonged to the Metropolitan Railway in London. The famous engineer, Sir John Fowler, was a great man in many ways. Indeed, any engine that has crossed his famous Forth Bridge knows of his work. However, his greatest folly was a locomotive he built for the Metropolitan Railway.

“He had designed the engine to work in the tunnels without producing smoke. Any engine driver who is at the controls of a steam engine would occasionally get a cough while going through a tunnel, but there were engines that needed to go underground, spending their working lives in the tunnels. Some drivers simply coughed the entire journey. Sir Fowler ordered a locomotive built to his unique design.

“Unfortunately, the engine was a poor steamer. On its first test run, it failed miserably just outside Hanwell Station of the Great Western Railway. Its second test later that year was no better, failing to live up to expectations.

“Fowler was angry! The engine had failed him! He ordered it to be sheeted up and left where no one could find it. He then went on to order the tests to be covered up and he had denied that the engine ever existed.

“Before the engine was hidden, Fowler had some of its parts sold for scrap, mainly boiler fittings. Once he had regained some of his financial loss, he banished the poor engine to a disused tunnel on the Underground System. Down in its tunnel, the engine grew angry. It wasn’t his fault that he had failed! It was the work of his designer! He plotted his revenge!

“A few years later, some workmen were down in the tunnels, removing the rails to the engine’s final resting place. They bricked up the line, not knowing what lay inside. As they turned to leave, an all-mighty crash was heard, and they turned to see the bricked-up tunnel disappear in dust and rocks. The shaft of the tunnel had collapsed, and the engine was lost beneath a ton of rubble. They had sealed the shaft off and, for a while, nothing happened.

“Then, one night, an alarm went out on the Underground System! A runaway engine had been seen thundering down the tunnel towards Edgeware Road! Men went down into the tunnels and lifted some rails to derail the engine! …It never came.

“This happened night after night for a few weeks until men started muttering about the ghostly specter being one of Sir Fowler’s designs. Try as he might, he couldn’t keep it secret any longer. Some photographs of the engine were released to the public.

“The sightings of the ghost train stopped for a while, and it was only with Fowler’s death that the engine was forgotten about. …But, on the 50th anniversary of the engine’s failed run to Hanwell, it was seen again, and on every anniversary since!

“The engine, now and forever called Fowler’s Ghost, haunts the Underground Tunnels to this day, but it does more than that! It haunts the valleys and haunts the stations! It haunts the goods yards and the sidings! It shrieks across bridges and thunders through the cuttings! It comes to take old engines away, to sheet them up and remove them forever from this world!” Edward paused impressively, watching the nervous reaction of the Chizaran Princesses and Megumi.

“That’s…that’s just…wow!” breathed Verdutha as Moradelia hugged her tight.

“I must say, I was truly terrified,” mumbled Rojenthi as she held onto Azuliterii’s arm.

“Edward, that story was VERY impressive!” praised Rosadera. “However, this contest is not yet over. Megumi, whenever you’re ready, it’s your turn.”

“I don’t know if my story will be AS scary as Edward’s,” muttered Megumi, “but I’m not giving up now.” She cleared her throat and began. “In Japan’s Kyoho period, 1716 to 1736, there was a rule called Sankin-kōtai. During this time, the feudal lords, called the daimyos, were required to alternate living in their own homes and in Edo for a year, to strengthen the rule of the Tokugawa Shogunate’s central power over Japan. One particular samurai, Hotsumi Kanji, a minor prefect from Kitakuni Province, was making such a journey.

“He stopped by an inn along the way to rest for the night and heard the most beautiful singing voice coming through his room’s walls. It was coming from a Goze, a blind woman who would earn money by singing and playing an instrument, a shamisen being the most commonly used instrument.

“Hotsumi thought that such a beautiful voice could only come from a beautiful woman, so he let his lust take over. He had learned which room the Goze was staying in and hid himself there during the night. Once the Goze returned, he sprang from the shadows and seized her, ravishing her throughout the night. Oddly, the Goze was not repulsed by such an act. If anything, she enjoyed herself being dominated in such a manner.

“The next morning, the two had woken up. Hotsumi then got a good look at her face and gasped in horror. The Goze’s face was unspeakably ugly! Joy crossed the Goze’s face, thinking she had found love! Oh, if only that were true. But Hotsumi didn’t pronounce her face to be ugly out loud, no. Instead he concocted a plan to get rid of her…permanently!

“He took the Goze with him on his way to Edo and they went on a mountain road, a convenient mountain road. Along the way, Hotsumi pushed the ugly Goze off the road and into a ravine down the mountain, the impact snapping her neck and killing her instantly! When he was satisfied that the deed was done, Hotsumi continued on his way to Edo as if nothing had happened.

“A year later, it was time for another journey to Edo and Hotsumi had completely forgotten the incident. This time, he stopped at a small mountain temple, graciously accepting the monks’ aid and offer for rest. As he slept, he heard a beautiful voice coming through his window. He opened it and a crazed, blind woman jumped into the room! The woman’s milky eyes bored into him as if she could see him!

“‘Who are you?!’ demanded Hotsumi. ‘How dare you attack me!’

“‘I intend to do worse, Hotsumi!’ hissed the woman. Hotsumi was taken aback when he heard his name. The woman then stepped into the moonlight to reveal her features. Hotsumi almost shrieked in terror! It was the Goze he had killed! Her ghost had returned! ‘Have you already forgotten last Autumn?!’ demanded the Goze’s ghost. ‘You played with me, and then tossed me away when you were finished! I have no eyes, but I see you now!’

“The ghost grabbed Hotsumi by the ankles and tore him from his bed! He tried to get away, but the strength of a man is nothing compared to the strength of the rage-fueled dead! She dragged him to the temple’s graveyard and stopped before an open grave. She gave a wicked smile, then pulled him into her embrace, the pair of them falling into the grave! The pull was so strong, it moved the earth over the grave, suffocating him and killing him!

“The monks at the temple heard the commotion and ran to the graveyard to investigate. They dug as fast as they could, but it was too late. They found Hotsumi’s dead body with the skeleton of a woman wrapped around it. By fate or by bad luck, Hotsumi stayed at the very temple the Goze was buried at after the monks had discovered her corpse in the ravine.” Megumi drew in a breath as she finished her tale. The Chizaran Princesses were all hugging each other tightly and Edward’s jaw was near his buffer beam.

“That’s…” he stammered, “that’s…er…that’s…quite a chilling tale!”

“Indeed!” whispered Moradelia. “Quite a frightening warning!”

“I have to say, both stories were scary!” gulped Rosadera. “However, only one of you is going home with the Time Amethyst. We shall discuss who shall take it.” The Chizarans vanished, leaving Edward and Megumi alone. The silence was a little awkward for the pair of them.

“…So…” muttered Megumi, “…did you see any ghosts lately?”

“None of the scary types,” remarked Edward. “The only time there was a ‘ghost’ on Sodor was because of Percy playing a trick.”

“How so?” asked Megumi.

“…Well, Thomas doesn’t like it when the story’s told,” mused Edward, “but, then again, he’s been bragging how he never gets scared as of late, so having someone else to call him out on that will do him good. You see, it all started when Thomas, Percy, and Toby…”


After a few minutes of deliberation, the Chizarans returned to see Edward finishing his less-scary story. “‘Anyone would think,’ chuckled Toby, ‘that our Thomas had just seen a ghost!’” Megumi was giggling when the story finished.

“I can’t believe Thomas fell for that!” laughed Megumi. Rosadera cleared her throat, grabbing their attention. The Chizaran Princesses then turned to the camera.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” she announced, “we have our winner! The one that told the scariest story, the new owner of the Time Amethyst, the winner of this round, the champion of the 591,009th Verse Vs. Verse Rumble Royale…is Megumi Hishikawa, Kamen Rider Royal and the champion of 8-3-Y-0-N-D-C-1-T-Y!” The cheers were loud and long! “Congratulations, Megumi Hishikawa! You have earned the Time Amethyst! Tell me, do you intend to use it or is it too powerful for anyone to use?”

“…You know, I think I WILL be using it at some point in the future,” remarked Megumi. “I did see my future self during some points in my life and I distinctly remember purple portals being involved.”

“There are multiple ways to open portals of that nature,” replied Moradelia. “Heck, for all we know, I could have sent you to your past.”

“…You can do that?”

“Hello? Chizaran? Mastery of space and time is part of our gig.”

“Oh, yeah, I keep forgetting that.”


The Closing Ceremony took place on Halloween, with all the Chizaran Princesses and princesses decked out in costumes. Megumi, Edward, and the Third Place Winner, a version of Ben 10’s cousin, Gwen, with her own Omnitrix, stood in front of the Princesses. Gwen dressed as a classic witch, given her Anodite heritage. “Ladies and gentlemen,” began Rosadera, “we thank you all for joining us for this particular 3V2R! These three combatants,” she gestured towards Megumi, Edward, and Gwen, “have proven to be the toughest of this tournament’s contenders. Now, they shall claim their rewards.” Moradelia approached Gwen and handed her a metal glove colored like her Omnitrix.

“Gwen Tennyson,” she announced, “Third Place prize is the Omegatrix rig. This will evolve your Ultimates to their projected final evolution before they go extinct.”

“Using this thing as a last resort then,” muttered Gwen as she put the glove in her purse. Verdutha then placed a lamp on Edward’s buffer beam.

“Edward,” she pronounced, “Second Place prize is the Lamp of the Lady, generously donated to us by Lady of the Magic Railroad. This lamp can show hidden paths, find lost engines, and grant incredibly good luck to the user for a full month.”

“I know of an engine who could use a lot of good luck after this month,” mused Edward.


The engine he was talking about was a green tank engine with a saddle-tank and the number 6 on his bunker. Somehow, the poor engine, Percy, had ended up in a tree after his train of trucks had pushed him down a hill! He rested in the tree with bent buffer beams, a cracked funnel, snapped side-rods, and a hole in his bunker. His crew had jumped clear before he ended up in the tree. His best friend, Thomas, a blue E2 tank engine with the number 1 on his side tanks, was trying to figure out how Percy could stay up in the tree while the rescue crew used the Breakdown Train to secure Percy. “How did this…?!” spluttered Thomas.

“I don’t know, and I don’t care!” hissed Percy. “All I want to do is get down!”


“I’m…kind of in the same boat as Thomas,” muttered Megumi after Edward explained what happened to Percy. Rosadera then handed Megumi an amethyst length of her pinky.

“Megumi Hishikawa,” she proclaimed, “as promised, you are the master of the Time Amethyst. Use it however you see fit but guard that thing jealously.”

“I know where to keep it until the time is right,” promised Megumi. The winners then thrust their prizes into the air in a sign of victory.

“With all that,” declared Rosadera to the audience, “it’s time for the Closing Parade! If the winners will follow us, we’ll all go to the Winner’s Float!” Edward offered them a ride and they graciously accepted. The Chizaran Princesses simply made themselves a coach while Megumi and Gwen entered Edward’s cab. Once he was coupled to the coach, Edward whistled twice and puffed to the float garage, a few miles away. It had recently been modified to let living engines into it and onto the float. Once Edward slowly puffed onto the float, everyone stepped out of his cab or coach. In fact, the coach vanished once the Chizaran Princesses stepped out. The float then moved through the streets of Chizara as the Chizaran Spectrum Marching Band led the way. The parade was definitely Halloween-themed as various Chizarans came out in costumes and spooky decorations lined the buildings and streetlights. Like the last time Megumi fought in the 3V2R, the parade was a good two hours before it arrived at the closing torch. Because he had no hands, Edward’s fireman accepted the torch on his behalf as Gwen and Megumi took theirs. They then threw their torches into the Closing Torch and it leapt high into the air, flashing in all the colors of the Chizaran rulers. “Ladies and gentlemen from all realities,” began Rosadera, “we cannot thank you enough for supporting past, present, and future tournaments. We thank you all for tuning in to this rare occasion when all Halloweens line up so perfectly! As we all return home, we urge you all to stay safe and have fun! Happy Halloween!” The cameras then turned back to Blancalmarem and Nemengra.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we thank you all for joining us this Halloween!” began Blancalmarem.

“We enjoyed seeing all the costumes of the viewers and contestants!” continued Nemengra.

“Thanks to your support, this tournament was a success! We hope to see you tune in to more tournaments! I am Blancalmarem, the white princess of Chizara and the life leader!”

“I am Nemengra, the black princess of Chizara and the death leader!”

“And we thank you for joining us for the 591,009th Verse Vs. Verse Rumble Royale!” the two princesses finished together.


Megumi returned home, bringing Verdutha dressed as Wonder Woman with her. “You sure you want to do this?” asked Megumi.

“Are you kidding?!” replied Verdutha. “Your home’s a place where adults can trick-or-treat, and no one bats an eye?! Chizara doesn’t have that! I want in!”

“Verdutha?” asked Richard as he and Lisa dressed as Lilly Munster came up to them.

“Madam Verdutha, what are you doing here?” quizzed Lisa.

“Megumi told me that the people here trick-or-treat at all ages!” answered Verdutha. “I came here for advice on a route. I’m long overdue for free candy!”

“I see…” muttered Richard.

“She’s not joining us,” assured Megumi. “We’re still going on our own route.”

“I’d advise staying away from Anders Street,” called Lisa. “The one guy that hands out stuff’s a dentist. He’s giving out floss!”

“…Weirdo!” muttered Richard. Verdutha checked her tiara, then left the house in one direction while Lisa took another direction and Richard and Megumi went another way, all of them carrying bags for candy!

Categories
Standalones TS

The Last Will and Testament of OTM

Optimus, Megatron, Megumi, Hiro, Arsha, and Dr. Borg had gathered in the main library of Optimusthemobian’s mansion. “I just can’t believe it,” sighed Optimus.

“What? The stay-at-home order?” asked Megatron. “You know how COVID-19 spreads.”

“Well, yes, I do, but that wasn’t what I was talking about!” snapped Optimus. “I was talking about OTM dying!”

“Well, we knew it was going to happen,” sighed Megumi. “What with DeviantArt Eclipse upending everything and angering everyone with the fact that the staff didn’t listen to the majority of people saying it was too buggy.”

“I’m just sorry my journey wasn’t completed on that site,” muttered Arsha. Just then, Petramel, his wife, Noletam, and their son, Leumas entered the room.

“Mr. Venchitak,” greeted Dr. Borg.

“Madam,” returned Petramel in a cold manner. Noletam gave a raspy growl at the sight of Dr. Borg.

“Noletam, old friend, this isn’t about prom, is it?” asked Dr. Borg.

“Mainly, yes,” snarled Noletam.

“That was when we were kids!” snapped Dr. Borg.

“You KNEW I like Carnarad!” growled Noletam.

“Er, I’m glad to see,” interrupted Leumas as he addressed the room, “that everyone’s here.”

“What’s all this?” asked Hiro.

“OTM, our author,” explained Petramel in his teaching voice, “has left my family in charge of his DA estate, should anything happen to it.”

“Given what’s going on,” continued Noletam in her own teaching voice, “he has written out a last will and testament.”

“So, as the Executors of OTM’s estate,” finished Leumas in a slightly less refined teaching voice, “we’ve been empowered to read his will.”

“Well, hurry it up!” snapped Megatron. “I have a war to win!”

“If we may all be seated,” directed Petramel, “Leumas will proceed with the reading.” As everyone sat down, Leumas produced the will, straightened his back, and began.

“‘I, Optimusthemobian,'” he read, “‘being of sound mind and body…'”

“With that paunch?!” laughed Hiro.

“…’do hereby divide my DA estate,'” continued Leumas, “‘as follows: to Optimus Prime and Megatron, the main characters of my longest running series, Transformers: Mobian Chronicles…'”

“Oh, I like where this is going,” chuckled Optimus. Megatron grinned at the praise.

“…’and also the biggest pains in my neck…'” Leumas read on.

“Wait, what?!” yelped the two bots.

“‘I mean, honestly,'” continued Leumas, “‘Optimus, you charging off after Jazz like that and exposing the Transformers’ existence to Sonic’s world with no thought to the galactic political repercussions and Megatron, you adopting a Social Darwinist attitude, both of these actions are beyond me. Why I let kids like you determine the fate of your respective factions, I’ll never know. If you knew just how much you idiots made me waste time puzzling out your motives…nevertheless, that’s all water under the bridge. To Optimus Prime and Megatron, I bequeath…a boot to the head.'”

“A WHAT?!” shouted Optimus. A boot then flew at Optimus and hit him in the head!

“Optimus, are you…?!” yelped Megatron before a boot hit him in the head.

“By the Ones!” swore Dr. Borg. Hiro just laughed.

“‘To Megumi Moody Thrill-seeker Hishikawa…'” Leumas read on.

“MOODY?!” shouted Megumi. “THRILL-SEEKER?!”

“‘What you did to X-PO was necessary,'” continued Leumas. “‘Your hesitance to talk to your own family about your problems led you to making not one, but TWO rash decisions: the first being the potential breakup of the F.N.S and the second being the suicide run on Hiro when he invaded Wyldstyle’s home. On top of that, you constantly ran the F.N.S into the ground after Vortech’s first defeat and accepted an invitation to a tournament while hunting Hiro, Megatron, and Dr. Borg’s alliance. To Megumi Hishikawa, I bequeath…a boot to the head.” A boot then hit Megumi in the head. She managed to steady herself and massaged her head.

“This is an outrage!” snapped Megumi.

“‘But, still,'” Leumas read on, “‘you’re one of my more popular characters and did ask me to retire you until Optimus and Arsha finished their adventures. Since I have no further need of any stories concerning you or the F.N.S…'”

“Finally, something good!” muttered Megumi.

“…’I bequeath…another boot to the head,'” continued Leumas. Megumi managed to block the boot’s flight path.

“Too smart for…!” another boot then hit Megumi in the head, cutting off her boasting.

“‘And one more for Optimus and Megatron,'” Leumas went on. Optimus and Megatron were hit again. “‘To Hiro Adachi, the laziest villain I’ve ever made…'”

“There’s nothing lazy about commanding a multiversal empire!” protested Hiro.

“…’who commanded a multiversal empire for all of five years,'” continued Leumas, “‘until he just let it collapse…'”

“That was THEIR fault! Not mine!” argued Hiro as he pointed to Dr. Borg and Megatron.

“…’I bequeath a boot to the head,'” proceeded Leumas. The boot was too fast for Hiro to shoot as it dodged his gun’s shot and hit him in the head. “‘And one more for Optimus and Megatron.'” Optimus and Megatron were hit yet again!

“I think I’m developing drain bamage!” groaned Optimus.

“I’m dizzy and I think I’ve developed short-term memory loss!” moaned Megatron. “…and I think I’ve developed short-term memory loss!”

“‘To Doctor Cytanek Yavenag Borg…'” continued Leumas.

“Uh oh,” gulped Dr, Borg.

“…’whose actions are a continual disruption to the Realms…'” Leumas went on.

“I don’t like where this is going!” yelped Dr. Borg.

“…’why you felt the need to circumvent the cost of making a Revenant,'” continued Leumas, “‘I will never understand. The price was implemented for people NOT to make Revenants willy nilly.'”

“I don’t want any boot to the head!” pleaded Dr. Borg.

“Why mention making a Revenant?” asked Arsha, still ignorant about Yulduk’s current undead status.

“‘Given your own scientific advances…'” Leumas went on.

“I’m covering my head!” yelped Dr. Borg.

“…’I bequeath…a boot to the wing joints,'” revealed Leumas.

“WHERE?!” shrieked Dr. Borg. A boot then hit her backside, right between her wings. She opened her mouth in a silent scream of pain and fell from her seat. Hitting any member of the Fae between the wings is the equivalent of kicking them in the crotch. Much like humans, it’s more painful for female Fae.

“Oh, that’s just cruel!” protested Arsha.

“‘Last, to Princess Arsha Royana, the most dedicated of my characters…'” continued Leumas.

“Oh?” quizzed Arsha as everyone pelted with boots so far glared at her.

“…’who always did her job and did it with professionalism and courtesy,'” went on Leumas, “‘and continues to be the pride of Realmfleet…'”

“It was no trouble,” assured Arsha.

“Kiss-up,” grumbled Optimus.

“…’To Arsha Royana, I bequeath…a boot to the head,'” revealed Leumas.

“WHAT?!” shouted Arsha. She then got booted in the head! As she massaged her head, she removed her hairpiece. “I hope his soul reaches the Depths and fades to nothingness!” cursed Arsha.

“‘To Noletam Farginta and Petramel Venchitak,'” Leumas read on, “‘in assisting me in writing this will, I bequeath a BOOT TO THE HEAD!’ MOM! DAD! LOOK OUT!” Too late. Noletam and Petramel were hit. Leumas got up and checked them over. “Are you guys all right?!” he asked.

“I think my head’s bleeding!” groaned Petramel. Leumas looked all around.

“No, it isn’t, thank the Ones,” he sighed gratefully. He then checked Noletam.

“I’m fine, my boy,” assured Noletam. “Just need an…” she then noticed something wrong with her vision. “…No!” whispered Noletam as she took her ruined glasses off. “MY GLASSES! THAT’S 60,000 GOLDS DOWN THE DRAIN!” Her saliva was adopting a green coloration from her venom as she ranted. Leumas decided to continue the reading.

“‘Last,'” he wrapped up, “‘to Leumas Venchitak, I leave not a boot to the head…but a crazed wyvern to BE SHOVED DOWN HIS TUNIC’S BACK?!'” A mysterious hand then shoved a crazed wyvern down his tunic and went crazier. Leumas howled in pain as the wyvern’s teeth and claws raked across his flesh. Noletam grabbed the wyvern and sunk her teeth into it, pumping it full of her venom and killing it within 30 seconds. Petramel started casting healing spells on Leumas.

“I take that back, THAT was cruel,” remarked Arsha.

“Not half as cruel as being abused like that!” snapped Megatron. “When do we get our cut of his estate?!” Just then, a hologram of OTM appeared on the table.

“If this message is playing after the reading of my will,” began the hologram, “then it’s safe to assume someone asked when you would get your cut of my estate. The simple answer is…never. I have moved my written works to Archive of Our Own and and all of my drawings are on Newgrounds.”

“Are you serious?!” demanded Hiro. “You mean you gathered everyone here just to abuse us?!”

“It was my final wish,” replied the hologram.

“You pure-blooded bastard!” Dr. Borg managed to get through her pain.

“Do you mean to tell us,” snarled Megumi, “we’re getting NOTHING?! Not even the guys who helped you with your will?!”

“That’s correct,” confirmed the hologram. “But, my watchers get something. To all those that have taken a gander at my DeviantArt page and watched me, I bequeath the links to where you can find me, both in the description of this story and in my journal. Thank you all so much for watching me here and I hope to see you over in the aforementioned sites.” The hologram shut off.

“…I hate him,” muttered Leumas.

“We all do,” remarked Optimus. That statement was met with nods of agreement.